Rockula (Musical Hell Review
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
- Just what we needed, another vampire musical.
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This movie really squandered a great premise. A vampire cursed to watch his past love die and reincarnate every two decades is actually a really clever idea but they don’t really do anything really funny or tragic with it.
It’s literally the classic D&D adventure Ravenloft
I don't know if it was as common in the late 80's, but vampire reincarnated love stories where the loved one is in some way unattainable or doomed have been done, like, *dozens* of times.
@@PassTheMarmalade1957 perhaps but in an 80s rock musical comedy? There’s so much potential. But apart from that, most of those stories the dead love interest is brought back in a century or a few centuries. This guy has to watch his lover die every 22 years. The amount of strain and trauma that would put on person is unbelievably tragic and yet he just goes about it like it’s business as usual. I mean maybe that’s how he copes with it, but the movie doesn’t show us how he got to that point. I’m kind of on the same page with Diva on this one, great ideas that just aren’t used to their potential.
Yeah, I honestly think the fact he seems fully over it after having the same thing happen time after time could of been very fun if they had done literally anything thing with that concept. There could have been a really interesting dynamic between two fated lovers who after hundreds of years have forgotten what made them fated in the first place and just want to move on with their (un)lives
@@PassTheMarmalade1957 Isn't that pretty much the plot of 1992's "Bram Stoker's Dracula"?
As a Dolby fan with a deeply-rooted love for camp, and a weakness for fun, unknown projects and quotable lines, I unironically adore this movie. So I'm always happy to hear people talking about it, even if it's to rip it to shreds.
As always, your gift for digging up obscure material to review is priceless.
Oh right, this is the one that Todd in the Shadows called a "truly bugshit movie"
Man, There Are ALOT Of People Who Used To Be Guywiththeglasses Fans Here...
Don't Worry, It's Not A Problem
@@redactedduetosafetyreasons Busted. But actually I didn't know Todd was a former Channel Awesome guy until I caught an old video that was one of those cringey crossover episodes that Doug pushed.
@@RedXiongmao I Do Like The Crossovers(Cuz It's Intertaining In My Opinion)
Also I Have This Trained Eye When It Comes To Channel Awesome Content. Yes Almost All Of Them DID Quit, But Still.
@@RedXiongmao Despite The Crossovers Never Aging Well, I Do Enjoy Most Of Them
Yeaaaah, the whole, "vampire-musician-pretending-to-be-a-human-posing-as-a-vampire" gimmick was an interesting idea but Anne Rice beat them to the punch three years prior
Wow. I actually thought she did Lestat earlier than that, but the 70s would have been an awful time for that gimmick.
@@Delightfully_Bitchy I honestly thought that was a weird gimmick next to Vampire Owns Cheesily-Named Nightclub.
If I want a vampire musician I'll take Marceline any day.
@@antonspivack3928 Excellent choice. I would've gone with Adam from Only Lovers Left Alive
@@eatatjoes6751 tl;dr That's because context got lost in imitation.
Memory serves of the Vampire Lestat, the original use of the trope, Lestat was a charismatic attention-whore who got carried away with the wildness of the 80's (a time period he was perfect for, as it was similar to the pre-revolution france excess). The glam rock band thing was a whimsy so he could act like a vampire in public because a) he was really fed up with hiding his nature, and didn't have the personality for it. b) he was dealing his "break up" with Louis poorly and needed to get out of a rut. c) He thought it was funny and Lestat was kind of nuts. d) in the Metal scene at the time, that kind of image wasn't too unusual, so why not? (Ziggy Stardust, KISS, Black Sabbot, Coven, etc )
TL;DR Outside of that exact time period, it becomes varying degrees of implausible and you would probably have to change music genre or media. (Nowadays, he'd be an internet celebrity) Even then, it seems like something that should be justified and not just thrown in for it's own sake.
You had me at "rhinestone pegleg"
“Horndog Reflection’s Sarcastic Suggestion” sounds like a really pretentious 80’s band name.
Just like Not!Velma and the Cosettes, lmao 🤣
Or one of those ironic GenX 90s bands
@@gregorywiederecht that too!
Or a youtube channel
Honestly, "Horndog Reflection" by itself sounds like a pretentious band name.
I think "vampire playing Chopsticks melodramatically" actually sounds pretty funny.
4:27- You're a VAMPIRE!! Bite their necks and suck their blood! Who are you, Edward Cullen?!
Oh, man! Todd in the Shadows mentioned this movie in his Thomas Dolby One Hit Wonderland episode and I've been waiting for some one to riff it every since.
Worst Steve Carell movie ever
I can't even tell if Mona's actress is a good singer, because it's clear that she's using worn out karaoke bar sound equipment in a space that wasn't tested for acoustics.
Man, every time the world starts to suck, Diva makes a new video and suddenly everything's better. We thank you.
Makes the Dracula Puppet Musical from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” look like a master piece and that was made for laughs.
Um... this movie was made for laughs, too
Why does Ralph even have a reflection? If he actually were a vampire, that guy wouldn't even exist, separate personality or otherwise!
The outfit that Toni Basil was wearing in her dance number is from her music video “Thief On The Loose” and her outfit in Club Hell for distraction is the exact same outfit from her music video “Little Red Book”
Cannon Films: "Guys, we have a budget of $10 and a gift card. Just bring your own clothes."
@@PassTheMarmalade1957 - seriously, given what the 'costume designer' put the romantic leads into, begging Toni Basil to bring her own wardrobe is a blessing to the production.
I own this movie on VHS purely because of Thomas Dolby's involvement, and have always agreed he should've been the vampire.
The theme for the 1980s cartoon "Duckula" is three times as catchy as any of these tunes.
I've never been more grateful to see that Dark Helmet clip.
I’m glad that I not only get to conclude my night with an episode of ‘Musical Hell’, but also to see the return of Woody’s sarcastic laugh and the Shamlyan ‘Robot Chicken’ meme!
Not to mention the Droid Tales "BIG RED FLAGS!" line.
Gee, I guess Edward really isn't the lamest vampire in existence. XD
I kind of have to curse this program for giving me enough exposure to different musicals that I can instantly recognize when an actress just doesn't really know how to sing. I used to be blessedly illiterate to music. Now I know enough to cringe at lazy musicals, but not enough to impress anybody.
You could, you know, also watch some good musicals from time to time. :-)
Musicals are like kerning that way. And pretty much no other way.
Thank you so much for reviewing Rockula! I love this movie and watch it every Halloween! And hardly anyone has even heard of it.
Speaking of musical horror comedy, Little Shop of Horrors is playing as I watch this. Talk about a contrast.
I like the idea of the vampire cursed to try to save their one true love every couple of decades. Might work that into a D&D character. Too bad they didn't do anything particularly good with it here
Anybody interested in another waste of Toni Basil should check out her dance sequence with Davey Jones in "Head" when she was young. She did nothing wrong, but it is literally a dance sequence designed with late 60s psychadelic drugs in mind and alternates from black to white in sets and costumes in order to induce a headache while Jones whines about his father.
Even as a staunch defender of "Head," I would love to see Diva's take on it. I'd hardly say that Toni Basil was wasted, tho.
WOW! THOUGH! Considering that she already had one helping of 60's weirdness with Yellow Submarine MAYBE she should save that for the second half of next year.
Toni Basil is a national treasure.
This movie is a huge part of my childhood and I will never stop loving it.
Looking at the scene around @11:46, Stanley's teeth are only slightly shorter than the "real" vampires. I notice that a lot of Stanley clips in this video has him opening his mouth pretty wide.
At least the reflection at the end looks like he fits the name. Not goth Rockula, but just a vampire Elvis impersonator.
Well, this is a surprise. Normally these videos aren't posted until Monday, (Though I already have early access due to being a Patreon supporter). This movie feels embarrassing and yet unmemorable at the same time, which is a weird combination lol. But it at least gives us an entertaining Musical Hell video.
Wait a fucking minute. The villain snatching the love interest from a stage and taking her into some secret lair, the protagonist looking for his love interest in mirrors in her dressing room, the final confrontation in the secret lair with the threat of impeding death looming... DID THESE FUCKERS SERIOUSLY RIP OFF PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.
ETA: AND RALPH LITERALLY PARODIES THE PHANTOM AT THE BEGINNING HOLY ***FUCK***
Thomas Dolby was having a blast in this.
This movie is the definition of a popcorn movie, it’s the type of put on for sound
I have a strange and long standing love for this movie. Also a theory:
The only "curse" on Mona is Phoebe. Phoebe is already IN the life of a man who could be easily set up to murder Mona by the time Ralph and Mona meet, and I wouldn't be surprised if she'd done the same thing every time before.
Edit: I see we're on the same track there.
What's with her constantly being reincarnated, though?
@@PassTheMarmalade1957 The universe has decided it wants those crazy kids to be together, so it keeps Mona on the cycle of death and rebirth AND making sure that she's in a place where she'll meet Ralph -- rather than incarnating her halfway across the world and in a social position where she wouldn't be able to travel -- until something can disrupt the cycle. Like Ralph turning her into a vampire or Stanley freezing her when she's only mostly dead.
Stan the Coffin Salesman was also a character in the Monkey Island franchise.
I think the worst thing about the talking-to-your-reflection crap is that it's an actually good idea squandered by it being the most annoying thing on the planet.
It reminds me of that one segment in the Spongebob episode (I forgot the name but it was the one where Spongebob & Patrick went to Glove World in order to ride a roller coaster) where Patrick was talking to his reflection and it ended with him punching it in the face.
Diva! You forgot to mention that Stanley stole the whole used car salesman gimmick form Beetlejuice XD
I agree. The movie would be so much better if they kept saying "Shut Up, Guillermo."
Considering the sketches they've been keeping, it's hard to imagine any sketches were cut before shooting.
They usually publish them separately on the internet as "CUT FOR TIME" and will usually be of the exact same quality as the ones kept in the show.
I assume you're referring to Diva comparing Rockula's jokes to rejected SNL sketches?
I unironically love this movie
Still excited to see you rip it to shreds
So I decided to research the plausibility of a pirate with a rhinestone-studded pegleg, and...it's less implausible than I expected! For one thing, modern rhinestones were invented in the 1700s, a century or two earlier than I had assumed. For another, "rhinestones" existed even before that-they're called that because most were crystals gathered from the Rhine river.
that Munsters joke killed me!
Why is it that when they sing "Hey Mona" I immediately think of the theme song of "Mona the Vampire"?
I'd kind of convinced myself that this movie was just a particularly horrible hallucination brought on by the use of certain recreational substances in my collage days.
I’m surprised that broadway hasn’t done an actual musical based on Dracula. That seems like the perfect story for a dark romantic musical.
They did. Wildhorn's Dracula.
I'm pretty sure the psychic's name was Madame Peignoir, which is a long outer garment for women which is frequently sheer and made of chiffon or another translucent fabric.
All I know about this movie is that Toni Basil and Thomas Dolby are in it.
WOW! This has interesting ideas. But MAN did they drop the ball HARD when it came to executing them. Also considering the next episode is something I never heard of. I've got only one question on my mind now. WHAT'S GONNA BE TORN A NEW ONE IN DECEMBER?
What is the weird alchemy that dooms Vampire Musicals to always suck? (It ain't just me, there are articles devoted to this.) Vampires have been successful in pretty much every other genre and medium, and musicals have been able to find success in adapting pretty much any subject matter. What makes "Vampires" and "Musicals" so fire-and-gasoline to each other.
I think it's something to do with the musical element taking away the suspense of the vampire
Leaving only the camp and that needs to be offset by a darker tone (camp is great but the darkness should always be used to show the difference gravity of happiness)
"Tanz der Vampire" is a pretty damn solid vampire musical (even though the attempt to bring it to Broadway was legendarily awful)... just going by their example, I would say the secret is not taking yourself too seriously, but also allowing yourself to be genuine. "Tanz" is basically an affectionate parody of the Hammer Horror ouvre, and it knows what works about those movies and what doesn't. Almost all the human characters are played for comedy, but all the vampires are played as real threats, so you get a healthy mix of humor and gothic horror-style intrigue. It doesn't spend all its time either obnoxiously winking at the audience or wallowing in The Drama(TM)--it knows what kind of show it wants to be and owns it.
It also helps having a score written by Jim Goddamn Steinman--so many of the songs in that show are way more epic than they have any right to be.
@@amiefortman7220 it also helps when the songs are recycled from his recording career 😁
@@gregorywiederecht Jim Steinman definitely knew how to milk a song. His "Original Sin" got recorded for four different projects under his watch - including a version in Tanz der Vampire.
Not to mention "Totale Finsternis" being a re-skinned "Total Eclipse of the Heart"... I love this show, but the history of these songs is pretty wild. XD
So I guess it’s official that Twilight wasn’t the worst thing to happen to vampires?
Maybe...
Twilight is probably the second worst.
So we’re all in agreement that Twilight is slightly better than this musical garbage?
@@kenthuang436 That's a sentiment I can agree with.
I was just thinking the other day that all musicals about vampires have rock music, and look, another.
Ah, Stan's used Coffins. I wonder if in this version Stan is going to be sealed into a coffin for a puzzle. I remember when he was just a boat salesman selling Guybrush Threepwood the boat that sailed him and his crew to Monkey Island... Ah, good times. (The joke is Stan gag was used in Monkey Island 2, and was even better.)
Also, see you in Monkey Island 3, Stanley. Also, the other Monkey Island games, but we don't talk about them.
@@shala6541 Hey, the Telltale continuation was pretty good. But Escape From MI can definitely rot in polygon hell.
@@jasonblalock4429 Eh, I didn't think so. I wasn't a big fan of how much a jerk they made Guybrush in that continuity. Anyway, it doesn't really matter, it's my opinion that I don't like the Telltale continuation, and that's fine.
@@shala6541 really? He didn't seem any worse to me
@@jasonblalock4429 I'd actually argue Tales COULD be my favorite of the franchise. But yes, let is never speak of the unfocused, poorly designed one
I've been sunburned while wearing sunscreen, so who knows if Ralph's sunscreen defense is actually valid?
9:29 Never in my life have I felt this strongly a need to apologize for being too hard to Shaquile O'Neal's Kazaam
There is an anime called 7 deadly sins with the exact same curse... I'm not kidding.
I'm convinced Toni Basil is a legit vampire.
Who else would like her Maybe as an April fools joke or a joke in general cover the 1991 Bruce Willis movie Hudson Hawk while not really a musical in a sense it has several scenes of Bruce Willis and Danny Aiello singing songs
Rockula is my favorite movie. I'm not kidding nor trolling. I actually got here because I was recommending to someone who shares my sensibilities and was looking for clips to show her (or the whole movie, if still available.) She loved it.
I have a request. Do you think you can do the Dear Evan Hanson movie for a future episode, maybe for your 10th anniversary?
(Reads description) Boy, will Hollywood never cease to be dull...
That rap part inflicted actual psychic damage on me
16:35-16:40 “I Was Frozen Today!”
Sorry, I couldn’t help it.
I actually do like this film, but I can't deny it's so terribly crafted I had to watch it three times to follow the basic story. Honestly, I wish I had the means and the time travel to fix it.
I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on Music. The fact that it got a lower review score than Cats says a lot about the quality of that movie.
@Rebecca Woolf Yeah. You're probably right. It's still less than a year old.
It WOULD have won the Razzie for Worst Movie of 2020, but the creator of these things is so political he thinks documentaries are the same thing as movies (Uh...they are NOT!)
Is it ever explained how or why Mona is reincarnated? Is it common place in this movie’s world, like are certain select people reincarnated like how certain select people have green eyes? Is it some demonic or divine punishment?
Something something they're destined to be together. Backstory is not this movie's strong suit.
@@MusicalHell Makes sense. Big fan, btw. Can't wait to see what you'll review for the holidays :)
So 'Curse of Strahd' mixed with 'Queen of the Damned' but as a sex comedy... Done terribly...
Could you do Richard Rich's "The Scarecrow" for one of your future cases?
Better plot twist: the reason he never got together with his true love in any past life isn't because she died on Halloween, it's because she realized she's out of his league. He's spent 600 years moping because the girl he had a crush on never called him after their one date.
I agree that the premise could've worked if they'd leaned into it harder, although Anne Rice might've started haunting the production team's nightmares if they tried to make a fab 80's vampire rock star for real. But they could've at least gone harder with the costumes, sets, and music to make it actually stand out, even if they wanted the vampire to be the "normal" guy--in fact they should've done twice as much with the 80's rock/general music trends, other vampires/villain, etc. to emphasize Brad or Joe or whoever is just some nerd who happens to be an immortal bloodsucker.
I also like the villain's whole thing better--I could totally buy a (retro?)futuristic cryogenically frozen vampire.
Actually I like that whole idea better than this movie. Set the story 100-1000 years into the future and have the ancient vampire be from "our" time (could be the 80's, could be now, but some time we would recognize). The vamp is some billionaire narcissist who got in on a Theranos-esque tech startup that cryogenically froze them and kept them alive forever/young & beautiful/stronger & healthier/you get the picture by keeping them hooked up to human blood and some sort of magical designer drug. The cryogenic chamber gets messed up somehow--the tech company claimed it'd put them in a medical coma for X number of days and then they'd wake up immortal and perfect, but it was a scam and the technology wasn't finished; the person got trapped for centuries. Now something accidentally frees them and they're alive and conscious, but they're not _human_ anymore, and just like they were fine living off the blood of others to keep themselves looking beautiful, now they crave blood to keep "alive." Sort of a Modest Proposal-ish theme of the ultra-rich killing the rest of the world to uphold their own lifestyle.
...IDK if you could make it a musical tho. Maybe a jukebox where someone sings Seven Nation Army to indicate they have a mild inconvenience and are being very brave about facing it head-on.
Anyway, I think the Amaz*n Cinderella reviews are oversaturated right now but I'd love a short side-glance at it someday from the perspective of it as a musical as opposed to a Camilla Cabello vehicle & a product to sell
Proving, once again, that the best vampire rockstar is the one and only LESTAT!
0:52- When are you gonna do THAT one, Diva?
Hey Diva,
Be down to do Cinderella 2021 anytime? Just wondering what your thoughts are on that.
14:01 caught me off guard and I just died laughing
So Strahd von Zarovich, but stripped of everything that makes him a great villain
Hey! Are you going to review Teen Witch for Halloween? :3
...well this one is out early. Not complaining, its a nice late birthday gift!
3rd day of Spooky Month!
*Spooky Month Dance Intensifies*
Wait! Was that Bruce Campbell popping up in the opening?
I'm glad that I finally stopped putting off the "Rockula" episode after three months. This movie looked *bad* but it would make great riffing material! 😂
IMHO, the whole production was done totally tongue-in-fang.
That rap bit on stage physically hurt me.
I refuse to admit the terribleness. This film is a treasure!
Also as much as I love Ghostbusters are we just going skip past their obnoxious sexist jokes as well. Bill Murray manages to give me the creeps in those films.
A treasure? Well.. it DOES deserve to be buried in a hole so deep and surrounded by traps so complex, that it would make oak island look like a cake walk.
I have never heard of this, and my life was incomplete beforehand.
this makes me wonder with vampire musical comedy wasted their big name musicians in the cast more, this or "suck" which at least has Alice Cooper, Elvis Costello and moby...
I cannot believe that I actually watched this, hoping it would be about a good-looking, black leather-clad, irresistible rock star. Instead....
How dare this movie waste both its Thomas Dolby AND its Toni Basil. That is inexcusable
and Susan Tyrrell!
Oh sweet Lucifer, they said yes to this?!
I just want one (1) good vampire musical, is that too much to ask?
I'm not doing a "Better love story than Twilight" joke, guys..... Oh wait, I just did
The Vampire Less-Cack.
Personally I, think you all are giving this movie bad and rude comments. I love this movie! It's a cult classic. The music is one of the best things in it. I remember when this first came out. I fell in love with it then. It's fun to get a bunch of friends together and watch it. This is pure nostalgia for me.
Toni's song is probably the best song in the movie.
Hey, finally someone talks about this besides CR.
who?
This movie feels less like Rockula and more like Dumbula.
Stan's Used Coffins: Where nobody walks away!
Prices so nice, you'll wanna die twice!
Pretty sure it's Madame Peignoir (negligee) instead of Benwa.
Nice to see the new episode of Musical Hell a day early.
Will we be seeing Dear Evan Hansen anytime in the near future?
Would make a great 150th episode
Wait... How can he have a magic talking reflection if vampires aren't supposed to *have* reflections?
It's never outright stated, but it's implied that he still has a reflection BECAUSE he's still a virgin -- Phoebe is explicitly mentioned not to have one.
@@thedorkone1516 if *that's* how it works, that's absolutely stupid.
@@alexjewett7455 I mean... have you seen this movie? It's duuuuumb.
@@thedorkone1516 true.
@@thedorkone1516 That's the kind of stupidity I'd expect out of a modern day Family Guy episode.
This movie was a childhood favorite of mine. I'm a huge Dean Cameron fan and I actually thought the music was pretty catchy lol
This movie was made around the same time as my absolute favorite movie musical/comedy/horror Little Shop of Horrors and holy god this just made me go; “god, if the writers had any brains and actually knew what they were doing, we could’ve gotten basically a musical version of The Lost Boys!!”; also that bat…puppet-looking thing just makes me facepalm because again this was made around the time that a great cult classic horror/comedy came out with puppetry and visual effects that still hold up with a ridiculous premise that is just so enjoyable, Killer Klowns From Outer Space
ok, I'll handle the movie, the idea of some pseudo-immortal protagonist who keeps losing the love of his life through a cycle of death and rebirth/reincarnation is actualy pretty good.
"This is the kind of humour you can expect for the next hour and a half"
...what humour? Not a critique, just...I honestly don't understand where the joke was...that he scratched himself?
Also this movie is the incarnation of "good idea, terrible execution"
The joke was that he was playing chopsticks. Which isn't a song normally played in those kinds of set ups
I was going to wonder what on earth Dolby was doing here but upon reflection this is EXACTLY his kinda weird vibe
Also yeah having known almost nothing about this movie except that he was in it I VERY much thought he was the vampire and I'm so confused that he's not. What a waste
So how much would it cost to get you to review monster high booyork booyork