Can Amish marry non-Amish? (+2 special situations)
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- I answer the question "can Amish people marry non-Amish?" aka "English" people. I also share two related special situations (joining the Amish & ex-Amish).
My name is Erik Wesner and I'm not Amish. Back in 2004, I met the Amish while selling books door-to-door. Since then, I've visited 5,000+ Amish homes & dozens of Amish communities. More: amishamerica.com/
Images: Don Burke (www.flickr.com..., Jim Halverson, S.I., Ed C.
Video on the Amish family - family size & more: • How big are Amish fami...
The only time I heard of a divorce in the Amish community was in the case of one spouse abusing the children. It was apparently very traumatic and poorly handled by the community. The non-abusive spouse apparently felt that they had to choice but to leave the community for the safety of their kids.
There was a kid in my church who graduated from a local high school and even went to a Christian college for awhile and decided to change to Amish. The girl he ended up marrying was one that I knew her and her whole family. They have been married over 20 years and have 11 children so far.
11 kids wow.... I am sure they have been raised right and proper... good for them.
Thats awesome! 😄
He is so smart, because Amish women rarely demand child support when marriage goes wrong.
So far???
11 children blessing.
My grandmother was Amish and left to marry my grandfather. She did not talk about her family much because it was a touchy subject. I have always been interested in the Amish culture but doubt I would convert. Grandma was from Michigan
You seem to put all Amish in the same basket. There are many different Amish sects and they all have different rules.
I have wondered if anyone in Amish has addressed the health issues they have because of lack of genetic diversity causing health problems. Such as people like Verne Troyer the actor that played Mini-me in the Austin Powers movies. He was a Little Person (dwarf) and his parents were Amish that left the Amish. Wondering what you think?
There are certain rare diseases that appear in their communities, and there are a number of clinics which try to help Amish and Mennonites (and also non-Amish afflicted by them). Some of the diseases are very rare, as in less than 100 cases worldwide. The best known is the Clinic for Special Children in Strasburg, PA. I will likely do a video on this.
@@AmishAmerica Its worth noting too that medical researchers tend to be *very* interested in the Amish precisely because of the low genetic diversity means you've got a fairly uniform set of health situations, which means less variables to control for in a study.
Amish go to the doctor and dentist just like we do. They do prefer a more holistic approach to illness but aren’t afraid to go to English doctors when they need to.
Why wouldn't it be genetic diversity don't they have people that have converted to Amish from other races.
@@AmishAmerica please do. I would love to learn more about this as I am a tour guide in Lancaster and this question comes up often.
That would take a truly special person to succeed at joining the Amish
You're right as it's not easy, and it's not uncommon that those who join end up leaving eventually. I have met and know a decent number who have, but still not more than I can count on two hands.
A video idea that comes to mind: interior layout of Amish homes and barns, and decorating choices. The homes seem to all be large and have certain features, so I've become curious about what they're like on the inside.
Great timing with your comment. I just recorded a video on this general topic earlier this week. It should be out in the next couple weeks
@@AmishAmerica Great minds and all that :D
Just posted the video on common things in Amish homes 👍 And I will probably do another one that focuses more on the common types of interior decor
@@AmishAmerica Cool! now going off to watch it. :)
You should do a video on the kinds of music that Amish people listen to and play themselves. Do they have prohibitions against certain musical instruments?
Good idea for a video. Amish do like singing and some instruments are used by some Amish (eg harmonica). Added to the list
Just finished the video on Amish & Music, thanks for suggesting the idea, I hope you like it: ruclips.net/video/F5ajmwikYWw/видео.html
I find all of your videos to be very informative. I was wondering if you could do a couple of videos. One about the practice of shunning. Why does it happen? How long does it go on? Is the person ex-communicated? Another to address the genetic problems that are starting to crop up in various Amish communities because of the small gene pool & many people related to each other. I know that studies have been or are are being done on the Ultra -Orthodox Jewish communities & Fundamental Latter Day Saints. Thank you.
Sure thing Kathy, I'm happy to hear that. So I go into the excommunication topic a bit in this video (also baptism, as the two topics go hand-in-hand): ruclips.net/video/L9KCO-XhYfc/видео.html Though, it's not super in-depth, but at some point I might do one at greater depth.
And on the genetic topic I will now probably do a video on that as people are asking about it, so thanks for asking.
not enough genetic diversity in the communities ..hence the health problems
Definitely something that should NEVER EVER be undertaken lightly.
Even in non Amish cultures marriage between different faiths can be difficult. But not as difficult as the Amish because it not only involves beliefs but a total life style change.
Good points.
Yep and then sadly there is the issue of biblical truth and doctrine. Obviously not going to say this happens everywhere but it seems people can be kept fearful of going to hell if they leave the community. No doubt if done right this kind of community would help all people walk right with God. However the devil knows where to attack namely the leadership. It can almost be like a Pharisees Atmosphere where traditional values are held in higher esteem than the word of God. Not surprisingly Jesus warned about this very phenomenon sternly.
this might be touchy but can you do a video on what happens after you leave or are excommunicated from the church? being a family-centric group its impact is worth talking about if possible
I am ex Amish and I never returned after Rumspringer and it's miserable...this world?.. will hand you your Ass!!!.. true story
You love who you love, i don’t think it’s wrong at all for a Amish to date a non Amish, even tho I have read some things talking about how he/she may be rejected by her/his family etc, it’s a very sad thing that they do by shunning or rejecting there son or daughter for even just switching over to another Amish community and it being worse if the person there dating is non Amish, but I don’t think this should stop anyone from dating someone they love... that’s like cult like behavior saying “if you date him your not allowed back in the family” which one is better staying in a family that won’t respect your decisions or leaving and being disowned but being with the person you love? Even just having that punishment makes it seem like your saving them from a cult
I mentioned a woman I know of in my community who isn't Amish but had a baby out of wedlock with an Amish man. It was a very sad situation and the Amish church controlled everything about their lives. Even the non-Amish woman's life. They couldn't get married and, although there was love involved, they couldn't date or get married. They couldn't be in the same house to raise their baby. They made it work despite the church ,causing trouble and making rules all of the time. And their baby was so sick and almost died. Sad.
I love Amish ladies, they are very well mannered, beautiful and very submissive and loyal to their husbands...
I don't want to sound like I'm speaking negatively but things aren't necessarily how they appear. What goes on in the non-Amish world, goes on in the Amish world. Women just behave a certain way in public. Adultery happens, women hide "the pill" from their husband's, fighting occurs like any couple, some rare occasions abuse occurs. The Amish are human. They make mistakes, they aren't perfect, but they are expected to behave a certain way in public. Get in the home and it's like any other non-Amish household. Just more faith based, for the most part.
Do Amish ladies shave their legs, under arms etc????
My great grandmother left the Amish to marry my great grandfather, they were never much for technology, but great people.
So your article here was pretty spot on, however their were some cases of amish marrying a non amish, and the person they married was not baptized in the Amish church. But rather went through the common instruction classes and became a member that way. Since the person was already baptized and the amish typically do not think a person should be baptized twice.
An Arab riding a beautiful horse with very long beard can impress an Amish woman, Islam way of life has many similarities with the Amish people cause we still have Muslims living the natural way like Amish in the desert
my uncle. marriage into Amish but they did HELP , stay close to Amish. throw out their life I was quite young. my aunt was very smart , hard working plow the field . help feed the farm , milk the cows. she was great cook if she wasn't working in the field then she was home the meals taken the foods out to field feeds then go back do feeding , dishes get ready for another meal before turning into bed for the night. I'm from Midwest in Ohio the closest Amish settlement was Berne Ind. it's about 30miles away I live on the board line Ohio ---Ind.
Cool I want to visit the Amish because it seems hard but I bet it also feels free
Makes sense. Two people married with different beliefs or ideologies are divided and it makes marriage more challenging, especially with children, it can be confusing.
Especially if one of the parents are Amish and want to raise their children in that fashion, but the other parent doesn't.
yes -- and that is why the Bible tells us we should not be unequally yoked... it is for our benefit.... because when we are 'in love ' or 'in lust'.... the hormones are in charge and we don't often think of these things....
Did you know that Amish can't married a Mennonite my sister fall in love with a Amish boy they went to get married because my sister was a Mennonite they can't get married.
Did you know that Amish can't married a Mennonite my sister fall in love with a Amish boy they went to get married because my sister was a Mennonite they can't get married.
Did you know that Amish can't married a Mennonite my sister fall in love with a Amish boy they went to get married because my sister was a Mennonite they can't get married.
There was a woman in my community that wasn't Amish but had a baby with an unwed Amish man. They raised the baby together but not in the same house. They weren't allowed to get married to each other and chose not to marry others. Sweet but heartbreaking.
I think it would be difficult for a plainer Mennonite to be married to a non-Anabaptist as well.
Excellent stuff these videos. Because Indiana harness racing is my retirement hobby I have met lots and lots of Amish folks recently and become friends with many. My experience is that the best way to learn about Amish communities is to go there and do business with them. Most communities, being largely rural, have a "sale barn" where auctions of all types can be found. Go to one; it is to experience a "market" which has been a human thing for centuries, with a different twist. And in many cases you'll find that the sale barn market has excellent food available, always an attraction for being with Amish friends.
Thanks Jim and great advice, spot on. And I would recommend the same thing for anyone who wants to meet and get to know more about the Amish. This is even easier to do today than it was say several decades ago due to the growth in businesses among the Amish. I usually promote going to the shops but the sales as you suggest are a great idea, they have their own atmosphere and energy.
@@AmishAmerica My bucket list includes the Mt. Hope Auction in Holmes County.
I look at the Amish as not having an individual life, rather they are molded into a certain lifestyle. If that's the life they choose good for them.
really no different than any other group who do things pretty much the same as the group they are connected with.
When did he have time talk to her? Where were her male kin folk to ward him off?🧐😶
What about you Erik, you ever think of joining the Amish?
I have to admit I did for a brief time but it was fleeting. Mainly when I was in the Daviess County, Indiana settlement in 2004. I guess I enjoy my English creature comforts too much :)
@@AmishAmerica Wow! I was born in Washington, Indiana. Before I got married, we went to the same hospital for blood tests. There was special parking for buggies. Small world! Now live in Virginia, Richmond county, and have Amish neighbors all around me.
Erik, you might be interested to know that the Amish refer to us non-Amish as Englischers. I don't know why they put a C in there.
@@heraldberg94699 times out of 10 they don't.
@@heraldberg9469add the c I mean. Yes non-Amish are the English, Yankees, or Englishers.
Never knew it was this difficult for a non Amish to marry an Amish person. I love the way Amish people live and would like to get married to an Amish man. After watching this video, I guess I will just stay in a modern world.
Yes, stay English!!
What would happen if the young couple were from different Amish churches, such as he is from PA and she from IN? Would one of them have to leave their own church and join the other? If yes, would the one leaving still be welcome in his own family?
If the girl would be from Indiana or Ohio & the guy from PA they wouldn't move to PA. Mostly because of the dress being so different. But I do know of cases where they did move to PA. They are usually welcomed in either state which ever one they decide to move to.
I don’t understand why you aren’t furious about the, “ex-communication” factor. Are you vetted by the various denominations? It is entirely inexcusable in a humanistic sense to echew a daughter or a son because they don’t share your religious values. “Agape” is not self-less love; It is selfish by very definition since your kids will be alone.
Actually your wrong the warmish have many communities that moved in different directions you stated before that they are not allowed mobile phones but young warmish until baptised can have a phone a driving licence and can go on social media up until they are baptised then they have to follow the church rules a warmish girl has dated a English and in some communities would allow it to go ahead but the English would have yo be baptised armish it's not practical but it's not far from the norms yes I will agree they don't approve but there are always exceptions to the rules
Would like to learn more about the warmish, if you have any resources to recommend.
Given how important their religion is, I would like to see a video about the Amish doctrine.
I second this
👍
Interesting - thanks for your points, that seem both full of empathy and objectivity! Well done!
Do you or anyone here know of any stable communities in the US with these characteristics:
simple life-style - as ecological as possible; much individual freedom; mutual help and strong community-feeling; strong ideas about a decent life, commitment, tolerance, and honesty. (And of course no drugs, crimes, violence, porn, adultery, childabuse, and no religious sect-features.) Can such communities exist on a foundation of freedom, mutual respect and responsibility, without coercion?
I'd say strong ideas about decent life, strong community and much individual freedom would be difficult to reconcile. You can't have strong set of shared ideas on how people should live but also allow them the freedom to choose if they want to do that or not. Also a strong community doesn't work in a very individualistic environment.
@@ElizabethJones-pv3sj Why not? Why can't people just choose a strong community on shared values based on much individual freedom as one of the values? Would they choose theft, rape, burglary, poisoning other people's wells and crops, or other crimes? I don't think so.
@DNA350ppm
Well… Deoxyribonucliec Three-hundred-fifty. You can probably just join an HOA and life would be easier since it’s governed with a bunch of secular elderly people.
@@pleasureincontempt3645 Probably so - are there such with multigenerational farming etc?
Are mixed marriages between the various Amish sub-groups accepted? For instance, would it be permitted for a baptized person from an Old Order church to marry one from one of the more "progressive" Amish churches? (I'm presuming that it might require the couple to both live under the stricter rule.)
Yes that does work, but one or the other will adapt to the Ordnung of the church where they'll be living - not necessarily the stricter church, but the one that they become a part of
@@AmishAmerica Thank you. That's very interesting! :)
It would be like becoming part of the Ultra Orthodox Hassidic community.
I went to schooll with a girl who was not Amish and married an Amish. They are not Amish.
I would LOVE to see vids on joining the Amish!~
Can you do a video on a Non-White person of skin color from a different race/nationality and background, wanting to marry a White Amish girl.
it would be the same as any other non-Amish -- if they wanted to marry an Amish girl, he would have to join the Amish church or if she never joined, she would become part of the English community or leave the church.
Interesting ...
Where's all those rules at in the Bible?
Common misconception about the Amish: their lifestyle is or should be based strictly upon Biblical rules
Im curious. As a Police Officer. Would I ever be dispatched to an Amish persons house ? I can't imagine they would he nervous around us. But would there be an interaction ? Possibly if there was an accident on a road.
Great channel. I find it extremely interesting and fascinating
Oh absolutely. Most prefer to deal within the church but yes, if an emergency occurs, they will call for the police and treat them like police officers (with more respect). But most matters are handled in the church with the deacon and bishop.
So you are saying an Amish women has NEVER ran off with an English person? I'm sure it's happened but probably not talked about.
I recommend rewatching. I'm talking about within the Amish church. Both must be Amish. Married outside the church, then neither are Amish. Of course the thing you describe has happened
I'm pretty sure that Amish women who run off with Englischers and not get baptized in the Amish faith are shunned by the Amish community, or excommunicated from the church, some people consider the Amish to be a cult, I was shocked to hear this.
@@heraldberg9469 the only way you can be shunned from the church is if you joined and changed your mind. Keep in mind, that you know this before you join.
@@emmib1388 also important to note that no one becomes amish unless they make the decision themselves, at an adult age.
@@morpheusgreene2704 yes that is true ! And they are aware of all the rules (not to say, that like any other family there is no 'peer' or 'family' pressure )
I thought divorce was strictly forbidden among the Amish because you made your vows in the sight of God.
Divorce is very prohibited. It is very, very extremely rare for it to happen.
Thanks for doing these videos. I have always been very interested (not really the word i am looking for 😂). Last weekend i finally got to go see an Amish commutity, Ethridge TN, (by the way would love to see a video on them) . i wished i could have stayed longer. I would also love to become friends with an Amish family. How do you go about doing that? I could ask you so many questions but we would be here all night 😂
Gladly Reva, I enjoyed making this one (in part because it was shorter than typical, so it got done more quickly 😄 - but also an interesting topic). So 2 things - 1) great that you made it to an Amish community, and Ethridge is one of my favorites so you picked a good one. I will be doing a video on Amish in Tennessee, and Ethridge will be prominent in it so hang around for that one.
2) you have good timing because the video just previous to this one basically addresses your question about making connections and becoming friends. I would say points #1 and #2 in that video especially, so even if you don't watch it all, I'd recommend at least those first two parts ruclips.net/video/PWg0k1RyJk4/видео.html I hope that is of some value 👍
@@AmishAmerica Thanks and looking forward to seeing the video of TN Amish. I am from Munford TN about 100 miles from Memphis TN
Very few people successfully join the Amish. It is so difficult to learn their ways and their language if you weren't brought up that way. As for marriage, you should not be "unequally yoked", married to a non-Amish person. This also applies to other strong relationships, such as business partnerships or memberships in organizations. Better to partner with another Amish person. There are several Bible verses about this. 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?"
i think you can marry into the catholic church. i don't think they care if you just joined because you fell in love some girl. they just want to get you in the door.
The Catholic Church does not encourage mixed marriages (either between a Catholic and someone of another denomination, or a Catholic and someone of another faith altogether), but it does permit such unions and does not require the non-Catholic spouse to convert. However, they do have to promise that their spouse will not be restricted in the practice of their faith, and that children resulting from the marriage will be raised Catholic. The marriage of any baptised Catholic must also take place within the church or it can be declared null, though this can later be resolved with a "convalidation".
@@falsesyllogism2116 they're definitely all about proselytizing. it's a numbers game.
@@jameshudson169 Lol, it's really not. They have one of the longest, drawn out and thorough processes for accepting converts into the church. RCIA takes at least a year for most people.
Do the Amish get vaccinated ?
Just like the non-Amish some do, some don't. Most do. But the recent "c" shot was a big one that they were against because they weren't "buying into it". At least around here.
How do an English man even meet an Amish woman and get to know her enough to decide they want to get married?
the term "English" is used by Amish to reference anyone outside of the Amish community 🙂 So it would be anyone who was not Amish...
@@emmib1388 i know that. But how do they even interact with them?
@@SamuelLiebermann the same way non-Amish would meet -- in a public place - the market, a restaurant, walking down the street. They do not live in a locked community where they can not leave. Most interact with the community just like anyone else. ( the more conservative Schwartentruber may not interact as much) . They would connect by doing it the old-fashioned way and agreeing to meet in person somewhere and many teens who have not joined the church yet but would be one to be interested in having an English boyfriend would most likely have a cell phone.
If an Amish youth chooses not too join the church do they have to abandon contact with their families?
No. They're not shunned if they decide not to join the church. Shunning is only for baptized church members who stray for whatever reason.
When young Amish start dating,
are they allowed to go out alone or do they have a chaperon.
I’m guessing they must ask permission to the parents and have a chaperone?
No they go by themselves, a typical "date" early on is a young man will ask a young woman to give her a buggy ride home after the Sunday evening singing
Erik? Have you thought of doing some videos on the old order Mennonites?
So, I did one video on Amish & Mennonite differences, where I go into Old Order Mennonites. It's not my main focus so I don't plan to do a lot of videos on them alone, but I do go into the general differences and similarities in this one: ruclips.net/video/MfLdYnkrz5A/видео.html
Great video Mr. Wesner
So based on this video I assume that means if say yeah one person is Amish falls for an English person they could go the other way and the Amish person could leave the Amish church and become English. That would video I'd like to see you talk about
You can’t become English, that is a birth right, reserved for us English. They can only become non-Amish.
@@peterking8586 Well, except for the fact that I born in America I'm English. My ancestors were primarily from England on both sides of the family.
@@peterking8586"English" has nothing to do with nationality. It simply means "not Amish"
Can you do one on kansas amish
What would you estimate, are there more Amish who leave the amish church "because of love", or more non-Amish who join the church "bc. of love"?
Great question:) I think the numbers of both are pretty small... if I had to guess I'd say leaving more common because it's generally easier to leave than join
@@AmishAmerica Thank you!
I agree with the leaving, Amish are NOT keen on letting people convert to the lifestyle and ways, although they ARE keen on helping people out in other ways, Englischer or not. I've read some Amish stories so I'm a little familiar with the terminology.
Thanks for the informarive videos!
Gladly!
Are there any black Amish?
yes, there are a few Black Amish
The Amish will adopt children. Even African-American children and treat them no differently. From my experience they grow up no longer wanting to be Amish and don't get baptized.
I've only ever heard of one in our area and that was mrs. Brenneman she ran a store and her and her husband met they were actually older I think he was a widow and she was non-amish but she did join the Amish Church before they got married I think they were married 20 years when she passed away
There was a lady named Marlene Miller who joined the Amish in Holmes County, Ohio. She wrote a book about her life (Called to Be Amish). I had the pleasure of visiting at her home once. Sadly she passed away last year, but what a story and warm personality she had.
@@AmishAmerica I'm so sorry that your friend passed away but I am glad you got to know her and spend time with her
@@AmishAmerica I have always wanted to read her book, but never got around to it. I am sorry to hear she passed.
Was her husband Amish?
@@heraldberg9469 yes he was
Very Good!.
Turn your volumn up when you record please.
Baptized into what faith?
anabaptist
In a romance novel I read, the family of the Amish girl attracted to an English would express fears that she would lose not only her family and community, but her soul. The young woman ended up marrying a Plain man, to the family's relief. I wonder if life as an Amish is as strict as it was in the novel.
Do NOT believe anything in those novels. Even if the author says they did alot of research, lived in a community, ex-Amish, etc. The Amish are different, even in the same town. Some things are similar but an overwhelming number of things are different. Plus, even an Amish author adds "romantic drama" that the reader wants to read 😊
No forgiveness if you leave the Amish.
They don't report a lot of crime that hurts children or victims in marriages - domestic abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc.
I took some German in high school, it's not that hard. Spanish is actually harder in my opinion. I also took some French. I'm not horrible at foreign language.
You call me English you have a problem...
I think that "English" is a generic term for any one who is not Amish. Even if you were Mandarin or Tatar.
Yeah, it's a pretty broad term.
Why do they keep using “English”? The people trying to join are not English🤬 To be English you have be born of an English father and paternal English Grandfather. Even the British are not necessarily English.
As an Englishman I find this incredibly offensive🤬
Not sure how serious this is, but sometimes your context for a word is not the only one that exists in the world 🙂 Explained: Why do Amish call us "English"? (and other names...) ruclips.net/video/QMQPwPlEEfU/видео.html
Since when were Englishmen a bunch of crybabies?