I Was Struggling with Schizophrenia Symptoms Last Night
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- I just wanted to share a bit about what it's like when I am feeling more symptomatic. I was experiencing hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia last night, and in this video I share a bit about what that felt like.
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I am so glad you have a husband who will help you.
You are a gem. Even in the midst of significant distress you still went on to create content of great service. Thank you and hope you have time to rest and feel better. :)
I just wish my mum was still here to watch this with me. She tried so so hard to be independent, and strong, and to not fall through but eventually, she just gave up. She didn't want to be a burden for me. How I wish all the information we have access today was available for me 10 years ago. Or maybe it was, but I didn't know how to look for it. I keep blaming myself, saying that I could have done better when it comes to supporting her. My therapist needs to tell me every time that I did the best I could with what I knew. I am not entirely convinced of that yet, but I try. What you do here is so, so important! Thank you for sharing your story
I'm very sorry lost her, I know Im a random but I hope you realize eventually it's not your fault
@@aaaa-jg4sm it's something that I am still trying to come to terms with. That it wasn't my fault. It's hard.
I hope you feel better, your videos help me with my schizoaffective disorder as well so it’s nice to hear about how you are doing
I have long thought that Schizophrenia is a kind of sleep disorder where the brain is stuck between sleep/awake states. Anyway, thank you for sharing Lauren. It's important.
That's insightful and makes sense to me.
As a mood disorder sufferer,i know that i feel like im a burden or would be a burden in a relationship,so tend to date less..which is a shame its amazing you found someone who is so understanding and patient...its also interesting to hear how it impacts your connection with your little one...just do your best..thats all we can do right!..🙏🏻
It is possible to find somebody who will look after you and accept you warts n all , excuse the pun lol
I really like Canadian people!! And this honest,open, n truthful person whose videos have educated me on my own diagnosis and struggles!!! Thanks 💚
We like you too. (:
Same! Thanks!!!!
Me too! Canadians are nicer than Americans, generally speaking. Of course there are plenty of nice Americans and it is likely there are mean Canadians, but overall Canadians have Americans beat in terms of politeness and measured thinking. I attribute it to their government and to their financial system. Americans are taught to compete aggressively and to do whatever it takes to make a living. We are more ruthless and have a "dog eat dog" philosophy. Canadians seem to like their government more and they support public services that level the playing field in terms of health care, infrastructure and educational opportunities. There is a darkness in American politics. Everything is a "conspiracy" and we don't care for each other like Canadians.
@@mygirldarbyPerfectly said S. Have a great day!!
Thank you, Lauren. I too struggle with schizophrenia. Remember that sometimes our struggles are because we love too much.
I really appreciate your level of openness here. I’ve never experienced psychosis, but I have bipolar disorder. This past year I experienced the worst depression of my life along with debilitating anxiety. My level of functionality felt close to zero and I was in constant, almost unendurable pain. I did 42 courses of ECT in a 6 month period, first 3 times a week, then 2, then once a week. Tried to go down to once every 2 weeks but the pain of my depression was too much to bear then, so went back to once a week. It was back in April that my psychiatrist found a medication that finally did help me and I was able to stop in the ECT in early May. Since then my mood has been improving, with starts and stops, and it’s an ongoing, gradual process and I’m not sure I’ll ever be in the promised land of full remission of depressive symptoms, but I’m feeling much more encouraged and optimistic now.
But something I’ve been talking with my psychotherapist about recently and I’ve been thinking a lot about is shame. I’ve learned I have a chronic and pervasive sense of shame. And an area in which my shame spikes the most is the expression of my own feelings. There’s something about me just being open and direct and simply stating how I feel about something that feels incredibly dangerous for me. But now that I’ve become aware of this and my mood is much better than it was, I’m trying to do this more. All of which is to say, I really appreciate how open you were in this video and I’m trying to learn how to be open as well in my own life, so thank you. I think the more I learn to share my feelings, the better off I’ll be just in general and maybe with respect to bipolar disorder as well. Anyway, I wish you health and happiness.
Peter Cohen sorry you're going through such a painful time. Glad you have a good Dr.
What a tough individual you must be- it all sounds awful, but you seem to be facing it with insight, dignity, & intelligence. Keep up the good fight!
@@tallblonde1976 yeah I’ve had to burn through a couple psychiatrists to get to the one I have now. My first psychiatrist didn’t seem up to the task of treating bipolar depression. The second was supposed to be a nation leading expert in bipolar disorder, and did prescribe things that were somewhat effective for some time although often with significant side effects. I stayed with him for 5 years after which I bailed because he didn’t seem to have any options left that I was willing to try. I also went to a psychiatrist who specialized in transcranial magnetic stimulation and ketamine, neither of which were ultimately effective for me. But now I’ve got a psychiatrist who seems smart and who I like and respect and seems pretty dynamic in his approach. He takes my concerns about various medications seriously and is willing to try things. The first few meds he put me on I was pretty doubtful would help because I’d been on similar ones in the past but then he put me on one that really had helped. I’m really very privileged that my family has good enough insurance and can pay for treatment out of pocket to be reimbursed by the insurance company later. And it’s really saddening for me to think about people like me who don’t have those tremendous advantages.
@@katiesfarmhouse please share more on how you communicate to your husband about what it is like for you at the moment you are actually going through this process of your struggles with battling to remain in reality .l need to hear how you describe it to someone else from your perspective. Just how aware are you of what is real and what is not real.
@@katiesfarmhouse Thanks. Yeah it’s easy for me to be positive and optimistic now that my mood has improved, but when my mood wasn’t so good and I looked back at the last 7-8 years of very limited functionality where I tried but failed to go to school and I tried and failed to have a job and tried and failed to get back into running (which was a big deal for me in high school) by going to physical therapy and all the while I was depressed, it was very easy for me to feel real despair and consider the real possibility that I wasn’t going to get better, that recovery was not in the cards for me. So I’m very grateful that my mental health has significantly improved and I’m aware that I’m at the mercy of forces beyond my control but I’m gonna do my best to be healthy and hopefully productive. I seem to be quite capable of writing these long RUclips comments haha which may be why I’ve been working on an autobiographical novel and after that I want to be a child psychologist. So fingers crossed, God willing, I’ll be able to do those things. But yeah right now I’m just happy to be feeling better and capable of doing things that bring me some joy. Thank you for your kind words. I hope all is well with you.
Thank you for sharing! And thanks Rob for supporting
Hello, currently I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis and my psychiatrist thinks this is the same thing I suffer from. It’s awesome being able to watch these videos and it helps me feel like a little less out of it knowing I’m not the only one who goes through these things. Thank you for sharing your experiences, these help so much.
This is maybe the third time ive stumbled across your content, despite not looking for it. RUclips rabbit hole working its magic I suppose.
You are an incredible human being. Blown away by what you do. Openness, bravery, understanding.
Be proud of what you do and the lives you've touched. I'm not even your target audience and just watching somebody speak about their struggle with such honesty and grace, it just warms my heart so much.
That you can make a difference in the lives of those facing similar challenges to your own is wondeful, but what you do go's beyond that. The way you carry yourself, is inspiring.
So thank you, for doing what you do.
I don’t have schizophrenia, but I do have some thing called depersonalization derealization disorder and the derealization for me feels like what you described, but I think the difference for me is tI’m able to have more insight than somebody who was in psychosis
Thank you for sharing. It is so important to share that symptoms can also be manageable. I went so long worrying about having symptoms because I felt I would be going 100% each time, but learned that sometimes they're at a good 60% and can go down with someone self compassion from myself.
I hope your day got better now. Holidays, even if you plan them, can be so stressful. The extra stimulation, although I love blasting Christmas music and the lights everywhere, can be a little overwhelming to my brain unconsciously. I try to take more do-nothing days during the holidays to help de-stimulate the mind
YOUR HEART is huge. Such a condition and still working to shed light for others who have friends or relatives or coworkers with this condition.
You're awesome and with a newborn comes with lack of sleep which disrupts one's circadian rhythm and spatial disorientation. Stay strong and with each milestone, so does your child reflection of his mother's ❤.
This is crazy I had a manic episode this week at night but I was so sleepy I was able to manage it but it is getting out of control I'm on abilify know God Bless You Rob And Teddy
My mum recently committed suicide and I started this channel 7 weeks ago to raise awareness and help others with mental health concerns they may have themselves and it’s channels like this that inspired me to do so…
… There is STILL not enough Mental Health awareness available to people and that is so wrong!!!
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I can't imagine the fear when this happens. Thank you for sharing your journey so that others can learn.
Your not alone. I know it's not as sever but the past 3 week's my asd and socal anxity, chronic pain and gad have been rough.
I go through struggles with schizophrenia...I like your videos as it allows me to hear someone who knows how the struggles are...hopefully we can reach remission..thank you, much love
You are not alone, I have schizoaffective disorder, I am learning how to manage or understanding when I have a hallucination or delusion. I watch your videos to help me more with my illness
I needed to see this today.
Seriously.
My son has schizophrenia, and I watch your videos often, and I NEEDED to see this, because sometimes it seems like you dont struggle w hallucinations/psychosis and it's so daunting thinking "is it my son who's just this bad?"
I APPRECIATE THIS CONTENT especially from you Lauren! Thank you!
Does your son have many psychotic and delusional episodes?
Omg! I feel that way too. It's so hard seeing him struggle and not be able to help.
@@FM-st4yn unfortunately, he struggles with acceptance of his diagnosis being so young. He tends to go off his medicine, and that's really the issue. He'll get leveled off, then stop taking his meds and yeah it becomes harder for him & hallucinations become worse.
Nicole- it's the worse thing EVER!!
@@moonshine814 I understand. My ex was the same, so many ups and downs. Unfortunately we are no longer together. I wish you strength and hope, one thing is for certain, giving love is fundamental for recovery. May you find peace and happiness.
@@FM-st4yn I appreciate that so so much!!
Thanks for sharing your experience Lauren . I’m sending you a big hug ❤️
Struggling with symptoms now, then I scrolled through your video, Thank You
Hi Lauren, praying for you for a quick recovery! I’m sorry you had to experience that last night. Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for showing us how important communication is! Love you!!! 🙏🙏💖
You’re so strong for pushing through and sharing your honest thoughts and feelings during this time.. it’s so important for me to see that others struggle too and you’re appreciated for posting about it.. but I also hope that you’re doing ok and taking that extra time for self care! 💕
Your videos are so helpful.
I suffer from Bipolar 1 disorder.
Absolute gratitude 🙏
I had a dream I couldn’t trust what my brain was perceiving was reality, and it was terrifying. Not being able to trust your senses and what is actually real or a hallucination, seems to be very frightening. My heart is with you. My son also has schizophrenia. He’s very low functioning for the most part. It’s good to see you can recognize when you know what is happening isn’t reality, so that you can reach out for help and get help. Much love to you
Lauren, I am in awe of you and your ability to show up for yourself. You’re an inspiration to all of us struggling with our mental health!
I love watching this channel 💜. You're unbelievably strong! Keep on with the keeping on beautiful 💜!
I find your videos so open and honest. Thank you for sharing
Thank you for sharing
Sorry you went through these symptoms. I hope you are doing better. Thank God I haven't had any symptoms since February 2020. I started getting injections Instead of taking pills and that seems to help me. I haven't had any auditory hallucinations since then. I hope you are doing ok.
I'm sorry that you were struggling. Thank you for sharing with us ❤️
I hope you realise how much good you do and how many people you help all around the world. I hope you're feeling better.
Thank you for sharing this, Lauren. And thank you for sharing your story in general. You're making a real and positive impact in the world by educating people. I've been watching your videos for a few years & when a dear friend recently experienced a break from reality, I felt much less afraid and more informed than I think I would have otherwise.
I have had schizophrenia. For over twenty years now. I am in my early fifties. To me it has gotten easier. I journal one sentence every night. Just to see how my day went. It let's me see where my symptoms are. Having these symptoms for so long I am more aware of how they react.
Thank you for your post.
We are all here. We all will get better .
You helped reinforce my faith in my support network. I'm glad you have a good support system, I hope your symptoms have eased since posting this.
Thank you for your openness and honesty.
Your honesty helps me so much
You are so strong and brave. God bless you.
Thank you so very much for this video. This sort of direct-experience information is so helpful to me in understanding what my brother has been going through for decades now. I appreciate the two of you and your videos a great deal and think that your work is a huge benefit in understanding schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder.
Thank you for making this video, having a bad day myself. This helped me get into a better headspace.
Thank you for your honesty. I’m sure it isn’t easy being so vulnerable. I can only imagine how unsettling that feeling must be. I’m so glad you have a great support system in Rob and that you have learned how to talk yourself through it. I hope you felt better today, and if you didn’t, remember we are all here for you just like you support all of us. ❤️
I have experienced such symptoms before. Thank you for explaining this to us. This was very helpful for me.
Sorry to hear about your condition
you're such a sweet soul. thank you for sharing with us. 💓🦋 i hope for more better days in the future for you & everyone that sees this comment. we will get thru it. 🌹
I’m here, I care, I feel you💙 Speaking just to one challenge you are dealing with-Morherhood is the most difficult job, by far and above, of any other job I have ever done. And I can also say it is, by far and above, the most important job I ve done-and the most rewarding. Always be kind to yourself while doing the hardest, most important, most rewarding job in the world, because you are doing great and you deserve it. Not to mention the other challenges you are having to deal with on top of the motherhood challenge…it has to be said again-you are doing great!!! Thank you so much for sharing these videos. For being open and for speaking out. You are appreciated. And lady-You got this💙💙💪
really resonated with this symptom thanks 4 sharing
Stay safe and strong in the struggle , you are amazinf
Take good care Lauren x
This is sooooo sooo soooo valuable. Thank you.
I so appreciate you sharing this! I've never experienced psychotic symptoms, though I have a long mental health history with BPD and other issues. I've been having a hard time the past few months and this morning was no exception. This is just what I needed to hear/see today, thank you always! Take care
Is very refreshing listening to you articulate what i have been trying to explain for years now. This feeling that the world isnt quite right. Thanks for being open and vulnerable.
Thank you so much for sharing. I have a tremendous amount of respect for you.
I don't have a schizophrenic disorder, but I struggle with depression and anxiety during periods in my life. And I can absolutely relate to the way your selfcare helps you deal with your mental condition. ..."Be extra gentle with yourself, get some rest, go out and get physically active, make sure to eat healthily, ..." That was often a powerful resource for me to support the process of getting better.
It seems to be crucial with any kind of mental health issue.
Thanks for sharing, honestly.
Always appreciate your perspective, Lauren - through the good and the bad.
Thanks for keeping it real.
Take care Lauren. Love❤
I'm glad that this was uploaded today because I also had a really hard time last night and it made me feel kind of dumb😅 I feel like for myself and many other people psychosis tends to get worse at night (I don't really know why, I think it's probably the combination of being by yourself + all the lights being off). But I hope you start feeling better soon, thank you for all your hard work.❤️
Hi Lauren. I hope you’re feeling better. I’ve really been struggling the last month or two, with the Med switch, but I’m hanging in there. Thank you so much for your continuing openness and courage in sharing.
Honesty builds integrity and trust. Struggle well.
I see you as a beautiful and graceful, strong, courageous, insightful, well-spoken woman, filled with purpose and integrity. Thank you for sharing your experiences for they connect one another with greater understanding and potential for supportive engagement. Wishing you and those you hold dear, peace and well-being.
You are one amazing woman! A trooper, a brilliant wife and a mum to your son. I commemorate you for trying to keep strong while battling this uneasy condition every day. I struggle with depressive moods every now and again and when this happens I feel weak and powerless. I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to live with schizophrenia on daily basis but I’m really amazed at how well you are coping. Please, don’t you ever stop fighting. I love you videos and I applaud you for being a strong woman. You are a true inspiration to many including me. Much love from the UK
It's okay we' will still be here
If you need a break from this
This is prob weird or creepy but something about your voice is just soothing to me.
Be well soon!
Feel better soon. You know we’re ALL pulling and praying for ya!
Thank u sm for posting ur experiences. I’m currently struggling to help and support a family member who has schizophrenia as I don’t understand how to help. But ur videos have helped me understand how to help and support them. I luv ur honesty and transparency about the topic because u don’t understand how many ppl ur actually helping by just talking about ur experiences 💖💖
Thanks so much for sharing 🙏
I have a friend who deals with some kind of chronic psychosis. It’s hard for him to be around others for long and he often retires early. He was visiting me this weekend and we started watching a movie on Netflix and he left to go home before we even got halfway through the movie.
I'm 16 and I suffer from unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and I know the feeling, sometimes I get creepy hallucinations like scary trippy cartoons and delusional thoughts like there are people trying to set me up or something like that or someone or something is trying to kill me
So sorry for your struggle. I'm glad you have a good partner for support. 💕
Thank you. I hope you know you really are amazing. I don't know how many of us would be as composed as you if we were going something so distressing. You're an intelligent, elegant and insightful person.
I really appreciate you putting yourself out there, Lauren, if you get my meaning. I deal with anxiety and mood disorders and honestly, I feel like such a nutcase from time to time. When I watch your videos I realize that so many of us aren't neurotypical and it just gives me hope that we can all get through this one day at a time. Thank you!
Thanks for the video! I’m currently undiagnosed but have my first psychiatrist appt in a couple months, but have been experiencing delusions on me off for about 14 years. My current partner has also been invaluable for me lately since I’ve opened up about what I experience sometimes, and have noticed that when I talk to her right after experiencing the start of a delusion, I can ask her “hey this is what happened, this is what I’m thinking about it and why I’m scared, is this just that thing I’ve got, or is it something anyone would be scared about?” Her telling me it’s something benign and that it’s likely the issue I have, and when she offers an alternative to what the event I misinterpreted ACTUALLY likely was, helps bring me back to baseline a lot faster, and have t had a terrible full blown delusional episode that is long lasting since I’ve started doing this with her.
You are amazing and such an inspiration. Your videos are so helpful and hopeful for everyone to see…those who live with mental illness, family, friends, medical professionals, the public. Your videos provide such a valuable resource for so many reasons. I wish you and your family the best and look forward to your continuing posts. My daughter has Bipolar and always tells me I cannot understand. While I’m sure that is so in the truest sense, you help me to have more knowledge and compassion to help support her in the way she needs. Thank you. ❤️
great content as usual. i work in the psychiatric unit and you had made me be more understanding of our patients.
I also suffer from moments of uncertainty and question myself if that was real or I’m I going through another episode. It is very vexing at times but it’s a permanent part of my life and I just go through the motions and try let it not bother me.
I feel for you so hard. I don't have schizophrenia, but I do have dissociation issues and it's so scary to question my reality or wonder where I am. It's especially hard during the holiday seasons. We'll get through it somehow, though ❤️
Am so sorry mam....im sure things will get better
TY for sharing
Thank you for sharing this with us. It always help us to know we are not alone. God bless
Thank you so much for sharing something so personal
Thanks for being so brave to share with us today. Xo
I love your videos! I thank you for them. I have difficulty, also. I’m being treated but sometimes I feel alone. I have a wonderful supportive husband also. But I d sure love to sit down and really talk to you.
Thanks for sharing. You are a very brave for opening up about your daily struggle. Its helpfull for being more empathetic about this topic.
I hope you're feeling better. Xo
You are so blessed to have an understanding and supportive partner.
Thank you so much for sharing. I feel the same way at times. You are able to describe psychosis well. You videos have helped me greatly!
Thank you for sharing and being so open, honest and vulnerable , you are so so so strong, you've got this! Much love to you
Thank you for sharing your experience & I want to THANK YOU 😊 SO VERY MUCH FOR THAT 🥰! You are still an ABSOLUTELY 💯% BEAUTIFUL, THOUGHTFUL, CARING & LOVING PERSON! KEEP GOING, YOU ARE DOING WELL 👏 🥰
Please make a video on things you've heard voices say. I have auditory hallucinations that have told me I'm going to hell.ive been terrified for 7 months ever since .
Im glad you were able to put the struggle into words. I still have a hard time with that.
I admire you. You helped me get over my addiction (marijuana). I would suggest to take ashwaghandha and moringa tea added to your self care or take superfoods. That’s what I plan to do at least and exercise more. (I am also schizoaffective)
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and honesty, you are a gem. I am sending my best wishes to you that you even out soon, and so happy to see you smile.