I’m becoming aware that I am either on the spectrum or I am indeed a narcissist… it is an entirely painful process… yes I have done things which could be perceived as narcissistic but I also feel a great deal of guilt and shame when I realize I have hurt people… it doesn’t seem to me to be about power or control yet my influence on other people does create a dynamic which could be perceived as control when doing and saying the things most others won’t… The defining point which tells me I am on the spectrum and not narcissistic is that my intention is to protect myself from the constant bombardment of stimuli or situations which make no sense… Why did you say that? Why don’t your actions align with your words? How can you believe such things to be acceptable? Where does it come from? Have I simply been told I am the problem so many times it was internalized to the point I cannot see the differences between self entitlement and individuation? Does that mean I am both? Something tells me that the fact I am willing to question myself means I am not narcissistic but a victim of the behaviour patterns whilst mirroring the behaviour I am subjected too… Yet, I need someone else to explain these things to me. Without the external perspective I cannot separate where my attachment style ends and personality starts nor how past trauma’s influence current situations resulting in repeated patterns… Am I a narcissist? - The question which shattered my ego and world view for if that is how I am perceived I do not wish to exist in the world.
You sound like you experienced more shame and guilt, and didnt gain anything, but lost energy in certain conflicting situations. Im not licensed, yet I believe that you have been told that youre a vad person, or dramatic, TOO MUCH...for having very valid emotions, concerns, fear of being judged and blamed for either being very vocal and emotional when we feel mistreatment, or that we been gaslight to believe that we are the problem, even when we have veru valid reasons to tell a person to f off because it crosses every boundary-and logically? Most cases did have atleadt dome smoke to make you on the end blow up, over explain, feel both the pain of mistreatment...but shame for the way we reacted. This is not a narcissistic archetype to be constantly on eggshell put of fear that we might hurt someone accidentally. You won't see a person apologizing so much and for years feeling Shame because they were angry or hurt and lashed. It happens, your not a bed person, youre not crazy, you act as a very self aware person who very much takes accountability-and its very normal to be honestly afraid or triggered. You might not always react according to your real values due to certain past experience, being more sensitive but less trained in regulation of our negative emotions. Its very human abd i jope ypu wont leep overanalyzing yourself in a way that makes you feel shame abd guilt. Address these thoughts and emotions, but in a healthy way for YOU. cbt helps ne alot with a similar issue. Best of luck ❤
I like that "Fight for the Freedom to be Yourself"
Underrated show
I’m surprised you are the only comment 🤔
@CamStubbs the realest channels get the least love. It really is great content
I’m becoming aware that I am either on the spectrum or I am indeed a narcissist… it is an entirely painful process… yes I have done things which could be perceived as narcissistic but I also feel a great deal of guilt and shame when I realize I have hurt people… it doesn’t seem to me to be about power or control yet my influence on other people does create a dynamic which could be perceived as control when doing and saying the things most others won’t…
The defining point which tells me I am on the spectrum and not narcissistic is that my intention is to protect myself from the constant bombardment of stimuli or situations which make no sense…
Why did you say that? Why don’t your actions align with your words? How can you believe such things to be acceptable? Where does it come from?
Have I simply been told I am the problem so many times it was internalized to the point I cannot see the differences between self entitlement and individuation?
Does that mean I am both?
Something tells me that the fact I am willing to question myself means I am not narcissistic but a victim of the behaviour patterns whilst mirroring the behaviour I am subjected too…
Yet, I need someone else to explain these things to me. Without the external perspective I cannot separate where my attachment style ends and personality starts nor how past trauma’s influence current situations resulting in repeated patterns…
Am I a narcissist? - The question which shattered my ego and world view for if that is how I am perceived I do not wish to exist in the world.
You sound like you experienced more shame and guilt, and didnt gain anything, but lost energy in certain conflicting situations. Im not licensed, yet I believe that you have been told that youre a vad person, or dramatic, TOO MUCH...for having very valid emotions, concerns, fear of being judged and blamed for either being very vocal and emotional when we feel mistreatment, or that we been gaslight to believe that we are the problem, even when we have veru valid reasons to tell a person to f off because it crosses every boundary-and logically? Most cases did have atleadt dome smoke to make you on the end blow up, over explain, feel both the pain of mistreatment...but shame for the way we reacted. This is not a narcissistic archetype to be constantly on eggshell put of fear that we might hurt someone accidentally. You won't see a person apologizing so much and for years feeling Shame because they were angry or hurt and lashed. It happens, your not a bed person, youre not crazy, you act as a very self aware person who very much takes accountability-and its very normal to be honestly afraid or triggered. You might not always react according to your real values due to certain past experience, being more sensitive but less trained in regulation of our negative emotions. Its very human abd i jope ypu wont leep overanalyzing yourself in a way that makes you feel shame abd guilt. Address these thoughts and emotions, but in a healthy way for YOU. cbt helps ne alot with a similar issue. Best of luck ❤
The argument hangover pdf...getting it won't work....
How to stop being in the relationships with narcisstistic women managers at almost every work 😢