SCP-3307: Cornucopi-ass (Ft. Agent Jak Urquhart)

Agent Jak Urquhart played by John Whinfield, check him out here:
/ @jakvox
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SCP-3307: Cornucopi-ass
Written by user RecursiveRecursion. Original text can be found here:
scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3307
Check out their Author Page here:
scp-wiki.wikidot.com/recursiv...
Content relating to the SCP Foundation, including the SCP Foundation logo, is licensed under Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0 and all concepts originate from www.scp-wiki.net. This page's art and graphic design is the work of John Maddocks, and is released under the same license.
Sound Effects Attributions
Music Credit: Dragon and Toast by Kevin Macleod
This Audio Reading was edited by Charles Cardot.

[@1hategiraffes]

"Damn bro thanks where'd you suddenly get my favourite food from?"

[@Lawsonomy1]

What happens if someones favorite food/drink is anomalies ... Like someone loves "ghost cola?" Can SCP-3307 produce food based SCPs?

[@widdershins3785]

Well, typically comestibles that are able to be enjoyed without anomalous effects are hard to come by by merit of containment and thereby restriction of who even knows about it. Not unheard of though, we have one, uh, silly case explaining why the Foundation has an unlimited supply of Crab Meat but, uh... i digress.
Now if the question is if its anomalous food that *makes* it be your *favorite*, then your conjecture is most likely right! However, pretty sure the Ethics Committee has an issue with the above entry.

[@Dinoman37]

I just watched one of your videos and I wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened to Lamar,he was a good man

[@Delta-company-PMC]

uh hey I accidentally gave 096 the gender, switching stone…

[@widdershins3785]

Well, sufficed to say the Ethics Comittee likely has him in solitary confinement willingly. Maybe the poor lad is okay with just getting facetime calls for company?

[@chloesibilla8199]

What if he witnesses an individual that doesn't eat? I suppose that's why he isnt hungry, reflective surfaces would be really inconvenient for him . Also what if he sees someone who eats their prey still alive?

[@postapocalypticnewsradio]

You'll never contain me!

[@TheXell]

....can we go back to the murder-monsters again, pretty please?

[@christophergoodroe6244]

what happen if a sleepwalker looks at 096 (most people sleepwalk with eyes open)

[@GilyAlcamate]

Im just sitting about to take some notes so ill keep track and be safe
And make sure i dont try to make friends with it 😅

[@Mate397]

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it.
If I was the D class I''d be equally horrified though.

[@improngl]

crazy name

[@Site_42]

Even crazier anomaly

[@buckeyeinmi9950]

What exactly would USS Arizona be in the SCP world? An anomalous entity that watches over the harbor in secret?

[@scarletletter4900]

I cant help but feel terrible for all involved.

[@Amethyst_Sky0]

The name of the anomaly sounds like a weird fucked up pokemon

[@steveo9284]

That's a buttload of food!

[@ItzMeImAlive]

Niceeeeeee

[@Lego_Stop_Motion_Dude]

Idea:How Could You Contain D-9341 The D-Class That If Killed Could Revive Himself Like A Save File And Load Back Before Death Keeping That Knowledge Of How He Died And Learn How To Avoid It

[@daylightenderman6977]

I have the Yule man’s carcass in my house theoretically how would you get rid of it before scp personnel are alerted of what you did

[@henrythedonut8622]

What if you use a really strong glue on all of his holes and glue them shut

[@CroatiaYT]

Interesting this is

[@devlin9871]

Quick question, what would happen if you covered 173 in concrete? I mean at a certain point you can no longer see the original. So does the new concrete make them bigger and is now a part of them so looking at the new concrete counts as looking at them or does the new concrete act like armor to our gaze and allow them to move constantly? Maybe slower since it has more mass and possibly stiffer joints? Would it completely hold them still until it breaks off all the excess concrete? And if so could we use this method to test it for sensory input?

[@RSPASAG]

Help it’s scp 297(random number by Google)-Santa he has breached containment

[@Insertnamehere684]

I have called the MTF team

[@natasaseslija4310]

I have question is there what if doctor who was in scp because i think would be funny concept

[@EDSHSLEC]

I’m sorry what the actual ███

[@MochimanKatakuri]

Say it like a man!

[@dragonson04]

I have an idea for an original anomaly...where do I put it so it can be canonized?

[@prof.reuniclus21]

Greenlight it and post it on the SCP Wiki

[@arandomkitsune55555]

Hi!

[@MasterCat8533]

Nah what the hellllll 😂💀

[@auroralovesmettaton8509]

Ugh, Creepy…

[@brandondeplanche8274]

What if the weeping angels from Doctor who was the a scp

[@Insertnamehere684]

They already have their peanut cousin

[@brandondeplanche8274]

@@Insertnamehere684 oh I didn't know

[@Insertnamehere684]

@@brandondeplanche8274 gimme sec I will search it

[@Insertnamehere684]

@@brandondeplanche8274 scp 173

[@user-oc7nb8yz7u]

I am the 42 like

[@--moonwatcher-the-nightwing--]

What

[@Arkterror12]

Let me out NOW

[@falcon1706]

womp womp,
buckshot.

[@Insertnamehere684]

How about *no*

[@christopherthompson1776]

@site_42 Popeye the salor man as a scp