Because they know they fucked up the IP forever. After the bad game with the same name, it will be hard for a new Duke to push through. We are not even in the age with fancy cool one-liners like in the 80's and 90's anymore, too.
@@Sypaka forever wasn't bad, at all, fully competent game. Literally the only reason everyone crapped themselves is because duke 3d innovated like a mf, and ppl expected that from forever. Instead forever was a love letter to all games that had come since 3d, including elements from a ton of other fps games. I like it and still play it. To each his own, but like I actually play stuff instead of going by what others say. Hell, duke advance is an awesome game, an no one talks about it, that's a shame there.
@@kamenanew9867 DNF was my first 360 game in like 2012 (late to the party, I know) I didn't actually sit and finish playing it until a few months ago. I regret not making the time to play it sooner, because I also genuinely enjoyed it and will definitely be playing again. Hail to the KING, baby!!!
This would actually make for a pretty interesting Duke Nukem sequel. Duke eventually becomes a father (for obvious reasons) and has to settle down with his wife and kid(s) being officially retired. He's not a very good father and husband, as he either does his part poorly or not at all. Instead he'll do things like get drunk off his ass and yearn to relive his glory days in his Duke Nukem mancave. He has a poor relationship with his family who does care about him, but has lost much of their respect for him due to his action over the years. The aliens seeing Duke as in a vulnerable state and unable to defend earth again like he done many times before, see it as their opportunity to finally take over earth. The aliens start invading and kidnap his wife (either for spite or unknowingly). It's a chance to show his family he cares, relive his glory days, and make those alien bastards pay again. Not only are they trying to take over earth and steal our chicks, but this time it's personal for Duke. The only question anyone has is 'does Duke still got it?' Plus, most of the people who played Duke Nukem 3D back in the day are parents by now, so it will be a return while still staying relevant over time, and I don't think it would be too out of character for Duke either. It's time for Duke to kick ass and read the Sunday paper, and he's already finished the paper. Take care Jon! P.S. As a Half-Life fan it'd be cool if Valve got in touch with you to do Dr. Rosenberg if they ever bring him back for Half-Life 3 or something. I know the chances are slim because he was a more minor character in the Gearbox expansions, but it'd still be pretty cool. Valve/Gearbox still have Adrian Shepard who's been waiting since 1999 for a sequel and they're not using him either.
That's the damn best bed time story I've ever heard! I'm already getting sleepy as I hear this bedtime story. Thank you for being part of our lives Jon St. John. You'll always be the Real Duke Nukem! Hail to the King Baby!!
Have Duke read this out while he is trying to keep an alien bomb-baby from exploding by keeping it asleep with his smooth voice while also dodging gunfire.
Dukem Mcfuckem chuckem nukket was trying his best to make his little ones catch up on them good ol' snores, and failed, but hey, he tried his best and at least he made some of us out here sleep
It's time to kick ass and count sheep
And I'm all outta sheep...
@@RipChordProductions and im all *yawwwwwnn* *lip smack* outta * yawn* sleeeeeeep.....*zZzzzZzzzZzz*
It’s time to kick ass and count sheep.
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Your voice is so goddamn good, whether Nukem or not it's music to the ears. The fact Gearbox have done nothing with the Duke IP in 9 years hurts.
at least we have postal 4 now
Because they know they fucked up the IP forever. After the bad game with the same name, it will be hard for a new Duke to push through.
We are not even in the age with fancy cool one-liners like in the 80's and 90's anymore, too.
@@Sypaka forever wasn't bad, at all, fully competent game. Literally the only reason everyone crapped themselves is because duke 3d innovated like a mf, and ppl expected that from forever. Instead forever was a love letter to all games that had come since 3d, including elements from a ton of other fps games. I like it and still play it. To each his own, but like I actually play stuff instead of going by what others say. Hell, duke advance is an awesome game, an no one talks about it, that's a shame there.
@@kamenanew9867 DNF was my first 360 game in like 2012 (late to the party, I know)
I didn't actually sit and finish playing it until a few months ago. I regret not making the time to play it sooner, because I also genuinely enjoyed it and will definitely be playing again.
Hail to the KING, baby!!!
@@ROBBiESMiTTENS lol glad you finally did it! Get some!
Saw this right before sleeping. Perfect timing, king!
This would actually make for a pretty interesting Duke Nukem sequel. Duke eventually becomes a father (for obvious reasons) and has to settle down with his wife and kid(s) being officially retired. He's not a very good father and husband, as he either does his part poorly or not at all. Instead he'll do things like get drunk off his ass and yearn to relive his glory days in his Duke Nukem mancave. He has a poor relationship with his family who does care about him, but has lost much of their respect for him due to his action over the years.
The aliens seeing Duke as in a vulnerable state and unable to defend earth again like he done many times before, see it as their opportunity to finally take over earth. The aliens start invading and kidnap his wife (either for spite or unknowingly). It's a chance to show his family he cares, relive his glory days, and make those alien bastards pay again. Not only are they trying to take over earth and steal our chicks, but this time it's personal for Duke. The only question anyone has is 'does Duke still got it?' Plus, most of the people who played Duke Nukem 3D back in the day are parents by now, so it will be a return while still staying relevant over time, and I don't think it would be too out of character for Duke either. It's time for Duke to kick ass and read the Sunday paper, and he's already finished the paper.
Take care Jon!
P.S. As a Half-Life fan it'd be cool if Valve got in touch with you to do Dr. Rosenberg if they ever bring him back for Half-Life 3 or something. I know the chances are slim because he was a more minor character in the Gearbox expansions, but it'd still be pretty cool. Valve/Gearbox still have Adrian Shepard who's been waiting since 1999 for a sequel and they're not using him either.
Genius
Much better story than Duke Nukem Forever
You know, I'd play that.
It's time to be in an alcoholic, polygamous, shitty relationship for many years.
I think the first level could start how Alien World Order starts. With Duke saying, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”
When Duke is contracualy obligated to read to the children
Deadpool and Duke Nukem will. Be amazing Together
1:21 That hit me like an atom bomb
the big the cat cameo caught me off guard lol
It's saddening how many people haven't had the privilege to listen to this
That's the damn best bed time story I've ever heard! I'm already getting sleepy as I hear this bedtime story. Thank you for being part of our lives Jon St. John. You'll always be the Real Duke Nukem! Hail to the King Baby!!
Geez, quarantine has people doing some crazy shit in the name of entertainment, huh?
Love ya, Jon! Ain't no one gonna replace the O.G. Duke, baby!
*My head when it's 3AM*
1:21 initiate big the cat mode
You are an international treasure.
1:22 - Duke doing Kermit, priceless!
I thought that was Big The Cat. Obviously, it sounds off because St. John unlearned the voice after hating its guts.
It's Big the Cat. Someone else said it sounds like him, it is, because of the reference to froggy
It’s time to go the fuck to sleep, and I’m all out of sleep.
Duke: Damn, I'd rather go another round with those alien bastards than deal with this!
I slept listening to this and it was the best sleep i had in 2 years
I love the brief transition to Big the Cat. Well read.
I played this for my 3 year old nephew once, and he can't go to sleep without it. Thanks Jon!
ThE FROGee had mahd his lahst LEEP
Was that Big the fucking cat haha
Well that just made my night. Best bed time ever.
Duke's voice suddenly changing to Big the Cat's caught me completely off guard! 🤣
Thanks, Duke! Good night!
By far the funniest thing I've heard you do since Duki Nuki. Keep up the good work, man!
This is the simply one of the best videos I've ever seen
(Duke nukem riff starts playing) Please, go the fuck to sleep (duke nukem riff starts playing)
This needs more views!
Big the Cat barging in was hilarious as hell.
Dukes balls are made of steel but not his patience it seems.
Hearing such a badass like Duke read it makes it even more funny
1:22 - I lost it - I _ absolutely_ lost it. God… damn it, Mr. St. John. 😂
Duke in another universe
Have Duke read this out while he is trying to keep an alien bomb-baby from exploding by keeping it asleep with his smooth voice while also dodging gunfire.
I’d love to hear duke do a documentary
Hail to the sleep baby
You, sir, are a God among men.
Watching this right before I am going to sleep...thanks Duke!
BIG THE CAT HAS LOGGED INTO THE SERVER
When Duke is staying at Shelly's whose friend has asked her to keep an eye on their child...
Jon St. John thank you for being born I will enjoy putting my daughter to bed with such sweet manliness
It's a diaper changing time, baby!
It's 11:37 and thanks to this video i am ever so happily going the fuck to sleep.
This brings a tear to my eye.
Thanks, Jon! You're the best ☢️♾️
Jon, you are amazing! Love you.
Hope Randy will finally do something with the DN ip which also involves you.
The fucking LEGEND!
"Its called; Go the fuck to sleep"
Instantly subscribed
haha this is excellent Thanks Jon/Duke!
I love how Duke gets progressively more angry and aggressive as he continues to read but the Child still will not Go the Fuck to Sleep.
The one man capable of standing toe to toe with Samuel L Jackson: THE DUKE!
I'm team Jon. #TeamJonStJohn
You Sir are the absolute most valuable american treasure
Pure gold, thank you for this!✌
How does it feel to be the voice of postal dude. You do a good job its even better then rick hunters.
Thank you duke nukem :)
Parental Advisory: May cause you to laugh so hard that tears flow from your eyes you choke on your tongue and you piss your pants
First Samuel L. Jackson now The Duke
Fucking amazing
Somehow I'm getting tired already...usually this never works, but holy shit...
thank you big the cat
Quality Content
and this hasn't won any Oscars yet? well that's bullshit
I sent this to my family :D
This was so funny ty!
I fell asleep in the beginning of the video, what happened?
Dukem Mcfuckem chuckem nukket was trying his best to make his little ones catch up on them good ol' snores, and failed, but hey, he tried his best and at least he made some of us out here sleep
This is an actual story. look it up
i prefer this to Samuel Jackson
Duke Nukem ASMR when?
I love th----zzzzzz!
Can I please have some milky before bed?
Duke sings my little pony when?
Pt 2: this time its postal dude /j
Epic!
g'night =)
Imagine: this, but big the cat. Or just "stay the f**k at home".
hilarious.
Hey John can you read The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe as Duke?
Hilarious
Is the music from this channel?
ruclips.net/channel/UChPZ0cVc0c-X4mAjX225qdA
#IfDukeHadKids
Oh my god XDD