I had a difficult experience when a past partner transitioned. She transitioned to male. I supported her during the early years of emotionally sorting herself out and cross dressing. I didn’t want to be with a man so we ended our relationship. All of that was fine. Here is the heartbreaker. After his transition, he married a woman. But over time he began to behave like a stereotypical male. He cheated on his wife and behaved in a macho way. It broke my heart that a person who had been a woman transitioned into a male who abused women. How can that happen??
He was already a man mentally. Cheating is wrong but he didn’t murder anyone. Men and women are different and you can see in Mayas case she’s more like a woman, where as your ex was more like a man. An average man.
As a cisgender female, I inadvertently had a peek into one difference online. Generally on internet forums my name indicates that I am female. But when I jumped into Flipboard (where I curated magazines, particularly about current events, facilitating conversations in the comment threads) I just made a random, gibberish, non-gendered, silly word as my identity and uploaded no avatar...I intended to change it later but never bothered. My magazines attracted a much larger number of followers than I expected, and they almost universally assumed I was male for no discernable reason. The men gave my opinions *far more weight and respect* than I had ever received from men anywhere else online. It was an experience I had rarely had even irl. People were impressed with my intelligence and said so; they respected my ability to debate, even when they disagreed with me. Almost no one dismissed me out of hand. Male users who patronizingly dismissed female responders as just wrong, or gave them only slurs or demands for sandwiches in reply (or simply ignored them altogether) Grappled ferociously with me, putting their all into arguments with me, even when I held the same positions on the same topic as some girl they had just dismissed. The hardest part was that even some women gave me more respect than I was used to (though the few people who thought I was female? were female. So that was vindicating) It made me realize how differently my personality and intelligence had perhaps been received all my life due to my gender. I was a "gifted" child with an abnormal iq and have frequently had to pretend that I am less bright than I am to maintain friendships. I assumed it was because people in general dont like to be friends with someone who makes them feel less intelligent, even inadvertently: a hard thought, but understandable. Now I wonder sadly if I would have even felt pressured to do that as a man....
Speaking for myself, i dont really care about the gender or any other random physical characteristic of an article author, generally speaking; unless its specifically a gendered topic i have interest in that im looking for a particular type of perspective. But beyond that, what i tend to take notice of first is the writer's bias on a topic. Or if it seems pretty neutral, then i really dont care about the gender of the author. Its just an article.
Unless your name is J.K. Rowling or you write romance novels or self help diet books, if you are female you generally are not taken as serious as a writer as a male doing the same kind of writing. By the way I'm a guy and recently finished writing my first romance novel and using my legal name could not get anyone to publish it but then a friend suggested that I use a female pen name. So I made up something and approached a publisher by email and all of a sudden they made me an offer on my romance novel. Wish me luck, it's coming out in the fall. So take a lesson from this. If you write something that does not require in person book signings and other public appearances, just use a male pen name.
Your comment *NEEDS* more visibility!... I've always think this too. I like to play videogames online, and sadly I had to create a neutral username because I'm not taken seriously if they know I'm a girl. I get bullied for every single mistake, whereas if I'm just quiet abouy my gender, they assume I'm a man and treat me with the same respect as other men. But as soon as I reveal I'm a girl they're like "oh yeah, I didn't expect you to be good". It's so annoying. Some ppl are like "woman already have equality, what else are they expecting with all this feminist movement???", and this is exactly what needs to be changed! And there might be SO many more things we don't even realise since we've always lived with them...
@@Nebulousss This is why I bought my Mom a voice changing telephone. She used to get phone calls from people who would harass her solely because she answered with a female voice. After I got her the voice changing telephone half of them simply hung up when they heard her voice. The phone would change her voice to sound anywhere from a quarter of an octave to three full octaves up or down in quarter octave increments. The low one sounded almost like Darth Vader. At the other end of the spectrum it made my voice sound like Shirley Temple age 7 and I'm a guy.
Im a transgender woman, and have been living as a woman full time for almost 10 years. While yes life can be difficult as a woman, it was even harder l felt as a guy, not just because l never felt l was really male, but l mean in general. I write this as to often a picture is only painted of how hard it is as a woman, forgeting the many positives of being female. So l have made a list of things l notice how lm treated as a woman now, compared to my "past life". If it matters, or makes differance, l am only attracted to men, however l only discovered this once l started living part time as a woman prior to full time. Not in any order Men and woman are kinder to you as a woman, softer more forgiving, supportive, helpful. As a guy l never felt this, felt more alone, deal with it yourself attitude As a woman you can ask for help and both sexes gladly help. Again as a guy often felt it was up to me to deal with it alone Theres a sisterhood, there is no such thing as a malehood. If you cant manage as a guy its a sign of weakness If sick or unwell as a female, girlfriends and male freinds ask how you are can we help. As a guy, often just left alone, male friends would say "contact us when you feel better" I find there's less pressure on you to know and be able to do everything as a woman, and you can get away with more. As a guy you were called $#@%&£ £€&%$ if you made a mistake or did something wrong or could not fix something Felt more insecure as a guy in so much felt always had to defend myself Both sexes not aggressive towards you as a rule when a woman, as a guy often felt need to defend oneself, put on dont mess with me attitude or other guys see you as weak As a guy you were seen as a treat to woman, often had woman look at me in fear at night alone etc, as "all men are bastards". Now dont get this at all. A example at beach l love wearing my bikini reading mags, schoolgirls put down towel near you and other woman too. When a guy they would go other end beach I can look at children now, sit in park read near play ground even, smile at kids. As a guy, forget it Its easier to talk to strangers as a girl, other woman, guys on public transport pubs supermarket lines etc etc. When in my "past life" if l talked to woman l would get cold shoulder or look of fear, or male to male even get a funny look or considered gay weard or just an aggressive answer. Fashion is boring as a guy, horrible, so much nicer to be able express yourself as a woman. Shopping more fun as a girl, 80% of shop is female fashion, 20% for guys Other woman judge you what you wear as a woman, yes maybe more pressure to look nice as a woman. However l am not sure its just society. I know l enjoy looking pretty as possible, l do it for me, not just only to impress others Yes it true as a woman you need to prove you can do something, as a guy it is just assumed you can do it. But again that also shows the extra pressure perhaps of being a guy You need be more mindful of going out alone of a night as a woman, where you park car, and even what you wear. However saying that l often feel saver as a woman too in so much walking past guys you feel less threatened as a woman than as a guy, due to fact the other guys more likey to be aggressive towards you of your anther guy As a woman its a fine balance of being freindly towards guys you meet, for fear he may take advantage or misread your friendliness You always need be freindly happy open etc as a woman, or you labelled a bitch or stuck up. As a guy its called just being a guy if you feel grumpy Some guys can be patronising towards you as a woman Yes theres sexism towards woman, but theres also sexism towards guys, no different. I feel women just make more fuss about it, and its paid more attention to. (That statement will get me in trouble with some woman l am sure hehehehe). As a woman you can get paid less for doing same job, but l have also noticed in some fields its easier to get a job as a woman as well, same for men in some fields Other woman can disregard you make you feel bad "as your not a real woman". Funnily if you look prettier than some woman they can be even more nasty I stress more about what to wear, have work mates seen that dress too much, what to wear for week, and when it comes to Fri Sat nights, ohh dear hehehe. But its fun too. Im my job, l need deal with salesmen, l need to order things and know when we will receive. If l am standing next to my male fellow worker and ask salesman when will we receive such n such, the male sales person will often direct his answer to him, not me Im expected to clean our staff toilet as its "womans work". So l always make note to ask the guys to fix something as its "mans job". We do have a bit of fun with it Ok that will do, l am sure l have missed heaps, and some will poo poo some my experiences, but l have tried to be honest fair to both sexes I love living as a woman, just hope my next life starts as a girl, not midway. Theres no way l could handle being a guy again, forget it, too lonely and horrible.
I wrote my piece before l watched your video, its interesting that some things you mention are same as my experiences. Thanks for sharing your thoughts
@Paula Kyle thank you Paula, pleased you enjoyed the read, and that you could relate to some of my experiences, it's nice to know it's not just me that has noticed this
As l said, yes its hard for men, sorry you are having troubles, hopefully things get better for you and you feel kinder to yourself. I often used to beat myself up with my failings, less so now, after receiving some mental health help Interesting your watching a transgender video, are you having such thoughts with your wishing to be female, or you just have an open mind, which is lovely to have Best luck with everything
Thanks for exposing the fact that the true gender inequality isn't - in Western countries at least - what we're all constantly told. Your opinion is all the more precious and valid because you've experienced both sides of the spectrum, and you're not the first trans person I see pointing it out. Unfortunately, I don't think our feminist society is able to hear such things. Cis women don't want to recognize or don't even realize these inequalities, and cis men who report them are at best ignored, at worst dispraised, like I was on a forum recently.
As a 72 y.o. Cis male heterosexual, I may be a little plain vanilla here, originally attracted by the latke recipe. However, I also love trying to understand human behavior, struggles, successes, failures. Decades ago I was assigned to write a series of short profiles of high school students; although a managing editor was trying to shaft me, I loved doing them almost more than anything else I’ve written. Anyway, I am very impressed by Maya’s courage, her determination and ability to function even when obviously shaken and depressed, her ability to communicate hope, and her willingness to try to make her insights concrete, real and understandable to other persons while tempering expectations with experience. (Put that sentence in for a Henry James Medal Honoring English Syntactic Excess!) I also respect her insistence that these are but her experiences and feelings, which others may not share. Finally she touches my Great Uncle Hal protective tendencies with her courage, nervousness, anxiety, and vulnerability, yet determination to overcome, in that first video. You just want to put an arm around the newborn, or about to be born, Maya’s shoulder, give her a squeeze and a smile, and tell her she might not believe it today, but she will be ok. I gather from another video that today’s maya also wishes she could go back and tell her younger self that she was OK. Markus must have experienced so much pain and bullying and nasty, demeaning put downs. And maybe so much more. I never truly understood the need of some people to demean others, as illustrated already by a few comments on this page, but going through this as a young person, while also feeling dysphoric about yourself, must leave such painful psychic scarring. While appearances may be deceiving, you seem to be navigating life’s twist and turns with some joy and optimism. Good luck with all.
I felt the same way watching Maya's transition. She is undoubtedly a very attractive young woman, but as a 56 year old cis male, I too felt that Daddy instinct toward her. I also feel disappointed to hear that some people feel a need to bully people. Maya is such a wonderful person beyond her looks. I can't imagine why anyone wants to attack her.
@@femmegirl9933 I know. I thought it was too long but it just came out and I thought, what the fuck. I also didn't realize this would be at the top of the comments, or I would have edited it down. I can write short, prefer not to be telegraphic though. But this was a bit self indulgent which was thoughtlessly unfair to Maya.
As a male, I 100% agree with your estimate of what it is like to be male in society. I have been alive for 38 years, and I have always been the type to be to myself and focus on my work. People frequently overlook how tough it can be to be a man, and I thank you for highlighting this for others.
There should be a law where everyone is required to live as the opposite gender in their second year in high school for one year. Then you get the option of keeping it or going back.
Most of the times, I express my feelings as a male and I don't hide my emotions, and because of that my "manhood" was always under question. Thank you for highlighting that point
You are NOT the only one. I watch a sad movie and then I cry and the girl I'm with is all of a sudden ridiculing me for being unmanly. So I've learned to keep my emotions to myself a lot in life. So much so that some people ( I hang out with Trekkies a lot) accuse me of being a Vulcan. My problem is I have a difficult time knowing how far to take my control of it. So I just usually blank out my emotions altogether. But the unfortunate consequence is every once in a great while I just explode and the floodgates burst and I turn into a total wreck. And then people think I'm manic depressive.
@@nunyabiznez6381 This is so sad. I was just thinking how amazing Maya's vid was! A real keeper! & then I thought ... I'd never want to snuggle into male-Maya's hair!.... nope! But if I were watching a highlite reel of Joe Montana's TD passes..... I just might cry!! (Truly...only acceptable when you have a lot of $ riding on the game....as a guy.)
I watched all of your transition videos. You are the same person that you always were underneath your gender expression. You have always been kind, compassionate, intelligent, hard-working, creative, and emotionally well adjusted. The largest difference that I have seen in you is that your confidence and sexuality has grown. Finding friends and lovers who accept you and care about you has been a big change. You have accomplished a great deal by documenting the entire process. It's valuable to people who are trans and cis.
When I started living authentically, I learned real quick how women are treated, so I can’t wait to see you spill the T!!!! I did NOT expect the catcalls lol
When I was 13 my friend and I were out walking and a truck passed by and there were girls in the back of this truck and they pulled up their shirts and flashed their breasts at us. I was shocked and traumatized as a result of this. It took many years and lots of therapy to get over the experience. Nah! Just kidding! What really happened was I ran home and masturbated.
Excellent conversation. With your experiences as male and female you have provided one of the best summaries I have ever heard. Your articulation of the issues is fabulous.
As a transgender female I’ve seen the world for the majority of my life through a male perspective and I 💯 agree with everything you said, thank you beautiful Maya ❤️
"Men is about status, women about the looks".. very interesting point, enlighting. Never really realized about that. Thank you for making this point! This enables us to change things in a positive way towards a better society.
As I watch your videos I find myself thinking how I would have felt had one of my children transitioned..I applaud your family and your great support system for the assertive person you have become, you speak honestly and are wise beyond your years . I just wonder how you have been living looking so feminine without an operation so far and how it has influenced your relationship. I hope you won't be offended by this question, I think you have a lot of strength to be so honest and outspoken.. All the best for your talks !! You are a very important voice, your beauty , sensibility and intelligence make the discussion on those important topics on a completely different level, so proud of you for educating people out there, and sorry for those who have abused this forum , most of the comments I see are very positive and welcome and embrace your voice.
Very insightful as usual. As many men get older, we recognize that the standard "alpha male" presentation is precisely that, that it is most often a toxic compensation for numerous insecurities. I would very much like to hear you discuss the things you're passionate about in your life (as well as your focus on gender and transition issues. You already have done to some extent--subjects like "food", "film"...) Maja, I owe you an apology. I asked some apparently inappropriately personal question after one of your earlier videos, which was pointed out clearly to me by some of your trans followers. Obviously, I'm not alone, because right after that, you presented a video on "what not to say to a trans woman". I can only speak for myself, of course, but for me the confusion about propriety stemmed from that fact that you already share so much about your private life with your followers--whether it is about your intimate relations with other, your recent surgery, your hormone regimen, your make-up regimen... and on and on. The problem for me was it it has been very difficult to figure out where your boundries are as a result, what exactly is off limits or inappropriate in your unique case. (Proper protocol is already very clear to me for engaging trans folk I don't know very well.) Because of all that you personally have been sharing with anyone who has cared to listen, it is easy for those proprietal boundries to become blurred. You have gift for making listeners feel that they are included, to a large extent part of, that personal dialogue--especially those of us who have been listening to you and commenting for years. In my particular case, I have had more of a parental response to your progress. I mean very well. So, Maja, I'm very sorry for overstepping. Thank you for clarifying the expected social perameters... and perimeters as well. As always, I continue to wish you all the very best that life can offer you. It has been gratifying to watch you evolve so candidly, successfully and with so much generosity of spirit. Cheers.
Dear Maya, I am so grateful for this posting! You covered so much territory that is so deeply personal to me. Sometimes just the sound of your voice is like a soothing balm on an open wound I have suffered with my whole 67 years on this little blue planet in the cosmos. I always find your thoughtful reflections on the transgender experience enlightening. I think I’d go a little bit nuts if I wasn’t able to hear your perspective. It was such a profound epiphany to discover this late in my life that there was a trans community out there of people confident in their Gender Identity and willing to share their lived experience and innermost thoughts. I must confess, I find your persona the most down-to-earth, unaffected, and natural of the transwomen I’ve encountered in my search for self-discovery. I wish I knew the words to express how much your posts mean to me! The confidence and poise you radiate is inspiring Maya! I feel a strange mixture of wishing I had had the courage to be like you when I was your age, and alternatively being deeply attracted by your femininity! It feels so strange to experience gender dysphoria, and wish I could look as feminine as you, and at the same time feel very attracted to women in my sexual orientation. Honesty compels me to admit I think you radiate a natural feminine glow I find absolutely enchanting! You talked about the difficulty in having male friends due to the ever-present underlying sexual tension. Surely you understand how hard it is for a guy to look at someone as lovely as you, with your naturally feminine mannerisms and captivating body language, and not be deeply attracted to you! I felt myself cringe inside when you talked about guys judging you by your appearance. As the father of 2 wonderful daughters, I can bear witness to the societal pressure women are always under. They’re both happily married now, and I am blessed with an adorable grandson who has just learned how to walk! This is such a cute age! But the constant pressure to conform to society’s screwed up definition of what “normal” or “appropriate” gender role conformity is can be devastating. You succeed at it so well Maya! I feel the urge to compliment your appearance all the time. I hope that doesn’t make me a shallow person. When I think of all the ugly, hateful things Senator Rand Paul said about Gender Confirmation Surgery on the floor of the Senate to Dr. Rachel Levine, I almost feel sorry for him. He seems incapable of empathizing with the transgender experience. His ignorance on the subject could fill whole libraries! You are so breathtakingly feminine Maya, it would have been a crime against humanity if you weren’t allowed to express your inner womanhood! I hope you are doing well in this difficult time. I hope your post-surgical recovery is proceeding normally. You seem to doing well and you look fantastic! I wish you all the best. May you find all the happiness you so richly deserve. Thank you again for sharing your life with us!
This topic can go down an endless rabbit hole as it truly can be so complex as race, religion, and the cultural or financial environment one grows up in. However you did a good job of condensing the topics you were discussing as well as to highlight that this is “your” understanding of it.
I absolutely love the way you talk about both sides. You don't blame anyone and also talk about the unfortunate things that need to change for men and have a very clear take on things. I really liked it^-^
Your humbleness about transistion is so awesome. It really is as you say a privellege that we have. We could have lived in a different time a different country and continued to live in absolute misery or cut our life short which is where I was heading. As hard and challenging as transistion is especially the cost, I'm so happy I live in a world where it's possible.
This is such an important topic. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I look forward to the day when all people feel free to be, do, and express who they are.
3:42 Women get complimented for their appearance, men mostly don't get complimented at all unless they're a superstar. The ONLY times I have received compliments are: 1) When I wear a funny t-shirt. 2) A handful of times in my life when accomplishing something very unusual and noteworthy. 3) Gay guys complimenting me when at a gay bar. 4) A romantic partner occasionally complimenting me on something physical or sexual. I'm fortunate to have good taste in funny shirts.
When you mentioned electronics I first thought you meant it the way I do. Electronics has been my passion from an early age. My place looks more like an electronics lab than a home. When I enlisted I chose to be an electronics technician. I have designed and build many things. I forgot that most people think of electronics as the things they use for communications and entertainment.
You have no worries, love. You're a woman through and through. You have many accomplishments and are an inspiration to so many. Keep up the good work. 💕💕
Great video! It’s awesome to hear your view of living as a man and a woman! You are beautiful as both! I hope you are staying healthy and having a great November!
Love this video Maya! Being welcomed into the sisterhood of women is probably the most rewarding part of my transition. Deeper connection with my women friends was something I always wanted and even then I had no idea how powerful it can be. ❤️
So glad you made this video! Passing as a trans woman, aside from genetics, may be essentially a class phenomenon. How sad. Being the father of 2 wonderful daughters, I know you're right about how women are judged so much more by appearances. Both of my daughters graduated from UC's, and were highly motivated and intelligen, but it was clear they felt the pressure on appearances, make-up, clothing, etc.
Hi Maya. I am your every day guy who learned so much by being a fan of the band Against Me. The singer and song writer Laura Jane Grace transitioned after I was a big fan. I knew very little about human struggles being trapped in the wrong gender. I watched her interviews and her story unfold in a very public way. I was so moved by her bravery, her passion, her sacrifices. I am even a bigger fan of hers now. She was so instrumental in many peoples awareness and acceptance of transgender life. She changed my perception, my compassion and my humbled adoration of something I knew nothing about! If you are not a fan of her, please look her up. I love her acoustic stuff. Like Black me out or true trans soul rebel. Btw you are elegant and beautiful!
I enjoyed this video. I agree it's really different having guy friends once you start to pass. I noticed guy friends can be more difficult to have as well. Just hanging out and having them platonic friends doesnt work so well. They tend to get the wrong impression even when they knew you before. The socialization aspect is definitely night and day between the two genders. I noticed this even working in health care and tech
"I just want to carry these three cases of wine by myself." Three cases of wine! lol! As a full grown man I can barely carry ONE case of wine by myself! Although I fully applaud your dedication to keep plenty of wine at hand at all times.
My wife maintains that I'm not "ugly" but I think she really just thought I was funny and made her feel comfortable (and needs stronger glasses). My appearance has been something I've always been conscious about especially with girls in high school. "Mom says I'm handsome, but I see Sloth from the Goonies when I look in the mirror" lol. At least you did something about it... also, someone opening a door for you isn't a diss at all. I do it all the time at work, and as a general respect in my daily life. Men, women, elders, if I can hold a door for them I will.
Society does women such a disservice by focusing so much on looks. Young women in particular (but all women to some extent) spend so MUCH time worrying about appearance that we should be using to focus on accomplishments, relationships and things that actually mean something.
I don't fly agree, I have lived as both too. Males get a lot of pressure, you need to be your best self, your full potential HAS to show. At least in my country, I guess it differs per culture anyway
true. Women romanticize the idea of an emotinal men. But they acually don't like it. A lot of woman tend to play with the emotions of man, that's why i tend to show my true feelings very late in a relationship and even then i don't spill the beans completly...
Listening to this, what is apparent is a major problem with society and its expectations. I am coming to this as a male who was bullied and friendless in primary school because off my refusal to conform to the expectations placed upon my gender at the time and which I felt I was being forced into. Once I became a teenager it became easier as I gained the confidence to be myself and define for myself how a male human should be. My male hormones kicked in and established my heterosexual orientation, but beyond that I have always lived how I want to live, not how society tells me to. Despite longing to play with the girls at primary school (which was forbidden) I have never had any wish or felt a need to transition, in spite of having friends who transitioned. This is a complicated issue and never as simple as some people make it appear.
You are an amazing person. Its a wonderful thing you do to help other people to understand that we can all be who we really want to be. Be safe. Sending peace and love.
Transition changed almost nothing for me except for alleviating dysphoria, I have no social safety net, I was raised to be independent, all my perceived value comes from what I have accomplished on life, I never ask for help neither I feel like I have anyone to ask. Yes, people are nicer to me, it is easier to get dates (not that I ever tried before), but I'm totally clueless about socializing and what to look for in a partner. It is really hard for me to relate to some women's issues.
Related to how hard it is being friends with guys I'd really like to hear the opinion of anyone who's reading this! 😊 I'm at uni and I ended up being in a group project with some guys that I didn't know. They're friends. There's also another girl in the group. So at the start I thought they're kind of fun, we share some interests, I'd totally be friends with them, the dynamic was great and one of the guys was really tying to include me in the group, I didn't think anything of it because that's his personality, he's really outgoing. So he started talking to me in private, not only in the group chat, but it was related to our project so I didn't think that it was weird and then we talked about other stuff too (normal friendly conversation flow). We never talked about anything private, I never complimented him, I never touched him or tried to be close to him (you know what I mean) whenever we had to meet, I mean I even kind of roasted him a few times. He then asked me if I wanted to hang out some time (he said something like ' or do you wanna keep it professional ?). So my first reaction was yeah sure why not (thinking that he wanted to hand out as friends, with friends or something). Obviously my reaction was kind of dumb so then next time that he talked about it I was like ' well did you want to hang out with friends or just the two of us?'. He said : just the two of us. To which I responded : I'm kind of seeing someone and don't want to make this weird. And then we started being weird and proceeded throwing shade at me for the next few weeks (meanwhile I never talked about it again and even asked him if he wanted to hang with me and my friends hoping that it would make it less weird for us to work together). Anyway, where did I mess up ? I really want to avoid being in such a situation again 😳
When a guy start talking wirh you more then just a project. He's interested! If such things happens more offen, just say early that U are seeing someone or that U just are looking for friendship. It shows clearly your interests and the other person can move on faster Hope i could help ya
Appearance is the first thing we sense. When we first meet I don't taste you, I don't feel you, I might hear you but I don't find myself into how attractive a voice is (usually, there was an exception). So sight is what we sense first. From my point of view the question is not why do men find a woman's appearance so important. It's why don't women find men's appearance to be important. Which leads to a question of what in the world is it women find attractive in men. choose your answer carefully; don't make me say wallet.
I've had this MTF problem for 75 years. GD is tough to handle. Even though I'm a successful male another part of me is definitely female. I never had the will to "transition", or the resources to do so. I am the self who unites the two lovers within this body. They are my sex persona, or gender masks. I keep the male to cope with the public, and the female as his private lover. I ate GD for breakfast, lunch and dinner. There is no need for outside validation, my male validates my female each time they have sex together.
Pretty interesting living as a girl, never knew my ass was so fascinating. Only did it for a while, got scared pretty quickly. Too old to try again probably. But you never know, cougars and leopords are a thing. It's a lot of hard work though, shaving all that body hair.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us! The information is really invaluable to me, considering that I haven't actually started transitioning yet. Would love to see more vids like this from you!
I think your looks don’t mean shit, and so tired of the generation making it about looks. Go to work on time. Don’t call in. Work your ass off and stay off your phone. Learn what management does and do that. No ones cares what you look like, or what’s between your legs. Do your job whatever it is and you will be rewarded based on performance.
My fiancee is a,transgender woman and she doesn't dress up or wear makeup all the time. She also rides a motorcycle during the late spring through early Fall/Autumn . We are both lesbians. She is more feminine and I'm more androgynous Tom Boyish.
Thank you again for sharing Maya! You basically described my life! You are an inspiration to me now that I have started my mtf transition! And yes you are very attractive! I was not sure how to react when men started telling me how good I looked! Not something I was used to as a male! Take care and Be Safe and keep being you!!!
As for wardrobe expenses, thrift stores are your friends. I once found a $2500 Brooks Brother's suit for $25 and got it altered to fit me perfectly for another $100. So I paid $125 for a $2500 suit. I have also paid $10 for hand made Italian shoes, wingtips. You can tell quality by looking under the shoe and if you see a bunch of little nails it was most likely hand made and cost hundreds new.
You're such a bright button and always put out the words I struggle myself to explain to the world 😬 The days I feel down you always seem to post and bring my whole mood back to princess 👸🏻 You've given me focus, inspiration and much more help than my Doctor and family without knowing it 😊 keep up the angelic work 😘 Thank you.
In grade 8 we studied genetics I ask a question about genes producing a guy but it was actually a woman. Teacher hated the question and said it doesnt happen. The year was 1973.
10:55 as an Aromantic asexual AFAB NB, I can confirm it's nearly impossible to have platonic relationship with any man (who's not gay). Even if you told you're not romantically or sexually interested in them, most of them would keep on talking with you a certain sexual way (I've just lately learnt to better recognize it so I can stop conversation since they'd still expect "something more" as an outcome). And those who really get it, normally just lose their interest to have any contact with you. It's just what it is ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
2:40 - I would also say though that for a man, there is a loneliness specifically because of that. Men must be utile; women need be beacons of love. In other words, women actually benefit from being loved as they are, while men benefit from being loved as they do.
That’s powerful stuff! As a man my relationships have been judged by what I bring to the table. Really tough to please my two significant relationships as I was constantly falling short of their expectations no matter how hard I tried. And I really worked hard and did my best. Alone now and it sucks!
@@KC-dx5pf real feminity - thinking that a man is just a tool for her. Shame that women dont like to change that one of their worst traits for the better of others.
you know what the first thing you mention is really interesting and true but I want to say also that it's not just appearance, it's character too... I think people are willing to overlook a man's dark side if he's doing good stuff
Thank you for this Maya. I've been following you very quietly for a while and really like your videos. These differences are mostly things I see and feel as well. It's also something that I often find myself talking about with some of my cis friends because I'm constantly amazed at just how different so many things actually are. My experience is, however, rather different from yours in that I'm a woman "or a certain age" now and almost rarely wear make-up. I also don't spend much on clothes - although it IS one of the pleasures in life to go shopping now (that's another big difference by the way!) But, it's just not something that is really critical. The more critical things, like electrolysis would be taking priority if it weren't for lock-down. Keep up the great work, and all the best. x
Great video👍🏼, I liked the honesty in the video. ..... there is one thing I would like to add. I think it’s the difference that is generally questioned. For a guy who often doesn’t dress well is questioned if he is well dressed. Similarly girls generally like to keep well dressed and like to be complimented on their looks, hence that’s what happens. I think girls are beautiful even without makeups or without huge wardrobe. I think it comes down to how you generally keep yourself..... again it is not a fight between men and women and most of the differences can be resolved if we start observing ‘ourselves’ along with the society.
Women love shallow stuff themselves, if guys don't compliment then they are considered as rude, if they do compliment then I guess they think about shallow stuff, lol. Women judge other women especially on looks and clothes (shallow stuff). By the way you look really beautiful.
There are times my "inheritance" of living as a male make it difficult for me to have interactions with women, though I must point out hormones really eased some of the problems I had with it. One of the very first times I was perceived to be female I quickly learned how many of those times it happened during moments I am not actually out there calling for that kind of attention (when doing grocery shopping for instance) and it made me sort of careful in relationships with women. Of course I noticed how male classmates could be towards women before, but it was a whole different world getting that attention from men (which, by the way, happened way before I got on hormones). The one time I fell in love with a woman that was not completely out of my league (and at the same time having the feeling like there was a mutual interest) I was already hesitant to tell her I liked her because of those prior experiences of noticing how men tend to be towards women and I think scared her off with that and she never talked back ever since. Next to having the feeling the interest was actually mutual and finding out that was not the case being hurtful, it also hurted in a much different way. Most women that I have talked to do not tend to have a problem with me being transgender, but being genuinely curious about my experiences is a whole different thing when it comes to having some kind of personal experience with the subject (I am not going into to much detail, because I am not sure if she would like that, she was not transgender herself but knew a great deal about the subject). I must definitely mention that I have not been in relationships with girls/women, not even simple friendships before I transitioned, , so that probably does not help, but good riddance was I heartbroken that I blew up a chance to be friends with a girl who was willing to teach me some hair and skin-care things (even if only, it was for me to find out that is not my thing). I am less anxious when I am around women since hormones, but some (even some transgender women) can still scare the crap out of me for the simple fact they might have more experience in their role of being a woman and I have absolutely no clue sometimes. When people ask me how the hell I managed to stay out of a relationship for so long (I am 32 now) it somehow is difficult to explain to them that it's not exactly beneficial that, when entering boy puberty there are 4 feelings suddenly dominating your thoughts surrounding some of the really girly-girls in your high school classes: 1. I can't stand you for being all girly and seemingly being pre-occupied with basically nothing else! 2. I am really crazy jealous for you being able to be a girl 3. Stay away because I am afraid I just might do something stupid 4. I fucking love you (with the knowledge I have now that being in love with them was simply my way of hoping to get to know their world a little bit better and having a good excuse for it) And having to conclude none of those first three thoughts make any sense after arriving at number 4 when I was 14 (I was a little bit late puberty-wise). This is an experience I sometimes really wish I could've skipped, because now, I feel like I am absolutely ready to experience all those things for the very first time ever and I have absolutely no clue where to start and am afraid my first relationship might not last long due to my inexperience.
I know you’re saying that you feel as a woman that people compliment your appearance more, but i felt the need to tell you that your hair is truly beautiful. I want my hair to look like that but mine is short and grown out
A video crew once stealth-followed a cohort who was a model who thought it was an interesting project to walk around NYC streets in business attire to document sexual harrassment attractive women face on a daily basis. By the end of the day of hours of secretive filming, the CIS-gendered woman was crying from the stress of getting more unwanted attention than ever-before faced in her days of an average amount of walking! I wonder if that kind of experience also makes transgendered women's blood boil with rage to the point of frustrated tears, it seems it may feel different as a "new" experience. I once had a college professor, who was male and Southern and a theater instructor, instruct he female students that they should all want to become experts at applying makeup, "Because, the truth is, if you're a woman, and you don't wear make-up, people will think there's something wrong with you." All the hours of other-pleasing grooming is one way the patriarchal hierarchy has kept most women from achieving their true potential. As many foul ways as patriarchal societies wound boys by not allowing them to express "feminine" emotions such as crying which leads to violence from supressed emotions, it has even more insidious ways to wound the females it pretends to elevate so thank you for reporting from your perspective on this all-around wounding that is perhaps worst for single mothers when an hourly wage-gap is Still the reality that creates, in USA, the largest number of people who live below poverty line being: children and women. With elders who are female making up the biggest slice of the poverty percentage pie, most having spent a lifetime earning less money, and often with more financial responsibility for children than deadbeat dads with higher incomes and after having a lifetime of higher "personal" expenses for everything from menstrual products to clothing with the ever-changing "fashions" expected to be current and astronomical make-up expense of attempting to look good-enough so hat nothing appears to be "wrong" with them or to attract love in a superficial, patriarchal world that spits on such "feminine" values as "love" and is in dire need of more empathy, compassion and social justice.
You nailed it when you described men culture. The use of the word "linear" was spot on. That's high praise coming from a straight male who wonders about these things. Men, IMO and as you have pointed out, have, perhaps regrettably, boxed themselves into this Alpha culture that is overtly oppressive and conformist. By following this very narrow definition of what being a man is all about, many men are leading themselves into a life of loneliness, misery, and addiction. It's too bad, but I don't have any answers.
One line, from the Final Fantasy VII Remake, you might like is "True beauty is an expression of the heart. A thing without shame, to which notions of gender don't apply."
I am a cis male but some time I get misgender because of my long hair. the funniest part is the look on males faces when they open the door for me and I say thank you.
My male colleague also has long hair that he wears in a bun when he works at the supermarket and once this man tapped him on the back and said something like “darling could you get me that bread.” And he turned around and the man’s face just contorted in like disgust and shame hahahahahaha
I know the struggle, if you must be male, what the society expect from you. But you cannot be male, and fullfill their expectations. Whatever reasons, in my case also health reasons, from my birth on, etc. Also got many rejects, and lost many jobs. Because I don´t fit in the male gender, and this confuses the people. You cannot say:"This is still a man, not a woman." because maybe she never was a man ? Let the people live, their way of life. ("I do it my way" sang Frank Sinatra. - "I am what I am" with Gloria Gaynor or Shirley Bassey) It doesn´t matter me, how they become their visible gender.
Bravo - Thank you for making this video to talk about these differences. I have increasingly been trying to address these different perspectives that I have experienced with larger groups of people. One of the bigger differences that seems to surprise people is the change of how my brain works. The testosterone brain seemed to prioritize having sexual partners. Now, I am even more compassionate and caring. LOL - all the guys are holding the door for me too! I didn't think of that until you mentioned it. It was kinda rare for people to hold the door or offer to help me carry things before. I felt a lot of pressure to be more masculine before I started my transition. I have never been attracted to men though, yet some of the pressure was homophobic. The societal expectations to be manly were impossible for me to satisfy, but it took me far longer to discover that transitioning was feasible and possible for me. I've never been happier. My social life has blossomed. I am so much more outgoing now.. I enjoy meeting new people no matter who they are. Socializing before was muted to a degree because I was suppressing some part of my true self and that made things more difficult. The expenses are unreal!
Aa a transgender certified personal trainer, the ONLY physical labor I like is in the gym, working out, HIIT, paddle boarding, mountain biking. Other than that, I abhor physical labor as I am very girly. I'm 64, but I look much younger. My lifestyle is that of a 20 something year old. Oh, my eating plan is spot on.
It's very interesting! I also noticed the social aspect before transitioning. Honestly also passing to a certain agree just so society respect you and that it affects our privilege is ugh idk. It's a weird concept. We're all humans yet we get treated differently depending on just our looks etc.
I forget if I told you but I'm 49 and started hormones at 47 and finally feel like I'm comfortable in my own skin and things make more sense why I felt so uncomfortable when I was younger!!
A very interesting clip especially the section on how males react when they know you're trans compared to when they don't know. Like you the vast majority of my friends are female.
You are so incredibly eloquent..and interesting..I absolutely love your posts..it feels like I'm being treated to a special lecture each time..Thank you so much for all you share..What a wonderful person you are..I say person first..because I feel that's the highest compliment I can give you...You are v beautiful..and of course... I dont know you personally..but your videos show you to be a v v kind..warm loving fun soul.. I'd be v v proud to have you as a pal..Big hugs from Swansea..UK.. ps..sending you cat loving vibes from my 4 fur babies!! Meaww..xx
Very much agree. At school it seemed that boys were either the alphas, or just there to be used as a training “punch bags” for the alphas. Tend to find that those in the more technical areas are far less questioning over transition or technical knowledge than the general population. Although certainly still some who have a lower regard of female skills.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
I had a difficult experience when a past partner transitioned. She transitioned to male. I supported her during the early years of emotionally sorting herself out and cross dressing. I didn’t want to be with a man so we ended our relationship. All of that was fine. Here is the heartbreaker. After his transition, he married a woman. But over time he began to behave like a stereotypical male. He cheated on his wife and behaved in a macho way. It broke my heart that a person who had been a woman transitioned into a male who abused women. How can that happen??
testosterone can be a nasty hormone to control if you don't understand it I guess...
That’s disgusting…that he acted like a stereotypical man I mean. It’s gross and I hope he gets karma because what the hell
@@jp400motox that’s just an excuse though. Each person should have more self control
@@O_Ciel_Phant0mhive I absolutely agree
He was already a man mentally. Cheating is wrong but he didn’t murder anyone. Men and women are different and you can see in Mayas case she’s more like a woman, where as your ex was more like a man. An average man.
As a cisgender female, I inadvertently had a peek into one difference online.
Generally on internet forums my name indicates that I am female.
But when I jumped into Flipboard (where I curated magazines, particularly about current events, facilitating conversations in the comment threads)
I just made a random, gibberish, non-gendered, silly word as my identity and uploaded no avatar...I intended to change it later but never bothered.
My magazines attracted a much larger number of followers than I expected, and they almost universally assumed I was male for no discernable reason.
The men gave my opinions *far more weight and respect* than I had ever received from men anywhere else online.
It was an experience I had rarely had even irl.
People were impressed with my intelligence and said so; they respected my ability to debate, even when they disagreed with me.
Almost no one dismissed me out of hand. Male users who patronizingly dismissed female responders as just wrong, or gave them only slurs or demands for sandwiches in reply (or simply ignored them altogether)
Grappled ferociously with me, putting their all into arguments with me, even when I held the same positions on the same topic as some girl they had just dismissed.
The hardest part was that even some women gave me more respect than I was used to (though the few people who thought I was female? were female. So that was vindicating)
It made me realize how differently my personality and intelligence had perhaps been received all my life due to my gender.
I was a "gifted" child with an abnormal iq and have frequently had to pretend that I am less bright than I am to maintain friendships. I assumed it was because people in general dont like to be friends with someone who makes them feel less intelligent, even inadvertently: a hard thought, but understandable.
Now I wonder sadly if I would have even felt pressured to do that as a man....
Speaking for myself, i dont really care about the gender or any other random physical characteristic of an article author, generally speaking; unless its specifically a gendered topic i have interest in that im looking for a particular type of perspective. But beyond that, what i tend to take notice of first is the writer's bias on a topic. Or if it seems pretty neutral, then i really dont care about the gender of the author. Its just an article.
Unless your name is J.K. Rowling or you write romance novels or self help diet books, if you are female you generally are not taken as serious as a writer as a male doing the same kind of writing. By the way I'm a guy and recently finished writing my first romance novel and using my legal name could not get anyone to publish it but then a friend suggested that I use a female pen name. So I made up something and approached a publisher by email and all of a sudden they made me an offer on my romance novel. Wish me luck, it's coming out in the fall.
So take a lesson from this. If you write something that does not require in person book signings and other public appearances, just use a male pen name.
Your comment *NEEDS* more visibility!... I've always think this too. I like to play videogames online, and sadly I had to create a neutral username because I'm not taken seriously if they know I'm a girl. I get bullied for every single mistake, whereas if I'm just quiet abouy my gender, they assume I'm a man and treat me with the same respect as other men. But as soon as I reveal I'm a girl they're like "oh yeah, I didn't expect you to be good". It's so annoying. Some ppl are like "woman already have equality, what else are they expecting with all this feminist movement???", and this is exactly what needs to be changed! And there might be SO many more things we don't even realise since we've always lived with them...
@@Nebulousss This is why I bought my Mom a voice changing telephone. She used to get phone calls from people who would harass her solely because she answered with a female voice. After I got her the voice changing telephone half of them simply hung up when they heard her voice. The phone would change her voice to sound anywhere from a quarter of an octave to three full octaves up or down in quarter octave increments. The low one sounded almost like Darth Vader. At the other end of the spectrum it made my voice sound like Shirley Temple age 7 and I'm a guy.
Im a transgender woman, and have been living as a woman full time for almost 10 years.
While yes life can be difficult as a woman, it was even harder l felt as a guy, not just because l never felt l was really male, but l mean in general.
I write this as to often a picture is only painted of how hard it is as a woman, forgeting the many positives of being female.
So l have made a list of things l notice how lm treated as a woman now, compared to my "past life".
If it matters, or makes differance, l am only attracted to men, however l only discovered this once l started living part time as a woman prior to full time.
Not in any order
Men and woman are kinder to you as a woman, softer more forgiving, supportive, helpful. As a guy l never felt this, felt more alone, deal with it yourself attitude
As a woman you can ask for help and both sexes gladly help. Again as a guy often felt it was up to me to deal with it alone
Theres a sisterhood, there is no such thing as a malehood. If you cant manage as a guy its a sign of weakness
If sick or unwell as a female, girlfriends and male freinds ask how you are can we help. As a guy, often just left alone, male friends would say "contact us when you feel better"
I find there's less pressure on you to know and be able to do everything as a woman, and you can get away with more. As a guy you were called $#@%&£ £€&%$ if you made a mistake or did something wrong or could not fix something
Felt more insecure as a guy in so much felt always had to defend myself
Both sexes not aggressive towards you as a rule when a woman, as a guy often felt need to defend oneself, put on dont mess with me attitude or other guys see you as weak
As a guy you were seen as a treat to woman, often had woman look at me in fear at night alone etc, as "all men are bastards". Now dont get this at all. A example at beach l love wearing my bikini reading mags, schoolgirls put down towel near you and other woman too. When a guy they would go other end beach
I can look at children now, sit in park read near play ground even, smile at kids. As a guy, forget it
Its easier to talk to strangers as a girl, other woman, guys on public transport pubs supermarket lines etc etc. When in my "past life" if l talked to woman l would get cold shoulder or look of fear, or male to male even get a funny look or considered gay weard or just an aggressive answer.
Fashion is boring as a guy, horrible, so much nicer to be able express yourself as a woman.
Shopping more fun as a girl, 80% of shop is female fashion, 20% for guys
Other woman judge you what you wear as a woman, yes maybe more pressure to look nice as a woman. However l am not sure its just society. I know l enjoy looking pretty as possible, l do it for me, not just only to impress others
Yes it true as a woman you need to prove you can do something, as a guy it is just assumed you can do it. But again that also shows the extra pressure perhaps of being a guy
You need be more mindful of going out alone of a night as a woman, where you park car, and even what you wear. However saying that l often feel saver as a woman too in so much walking past guys you feel less threatened as a woman than as a guy, due to fact the other guys more likey to be aggressive towards you of your anther guy
As a woman its a fine balance of being freindly towards guys you meet, for fear he may take advantage or misread your friendliness
You always need be freindly happy open etc as a woman, or you labelled a bitch or stuck up. As a guy its called just being a guy if you feel grumpy
Some guys can be patronising towards you as a woman
Yes theres sexism towards woman, but theres also sexism towards guys, no different. I feel women just make more fuss about it, and its paid more attention to. (That statement will get me in trouble with some woman l am sure hehehehe).
As a woman you can get paid less for doing same job, but l have also noticed in some fields its easier to get a job as a woman as well, same for men in some fields
Other woman can disregard you make you feel bad "as your not a real woman". Funnily if you look prettier than some woman they can be even more nasty
I stress more about what to wear, have work mates seen that dress too much, what to wear for week, and when it comes to Fri Sat nights, ohh dear hehehe. But its fun too.
Im my job, l need deal with salesmen, l need to order things and know when we will receive. If l am standing next to my male fellow worker and ask salesman when will we receive such n such, the male sales person will often direct his answer to him, not me
Im expected to clean our staff toilet as its "womans work". So l always make note to ask the guys to fix something as its "mans job". We do have a bit of fun with it
Ok that will do, l am sure l have missed heaps, and some will poo poo some my experiences, but l have tried to be honest fair to both sexes
I love living as a woman, just hope my next life starts as a girl, not midway. Theres no way l could handle being a guy again, forget it, too lonely and horrible.
I wrote my piece before l watched your video, its interesting that some things you mention are same as my experiences. Thanks for sharing your thoughts
@Paula Kyle thank you Paula, pleased you enjoyed the read, and that you could relate to some of my experiences, it's nice to know it's not just me that has noticed this
As l said, yes its hard for men, sorry you are having troubles, hopefully things get better for you and you feel kinder to yourself.
I often used to beat myself up with my failings, less so now, after receiving some mental health help
Interesting your watching a transgender video, are you having such thoughts with your wishing to be female, or you just have an open mind, which is lovely to have
Best luck with everything
Thanks for exposing the fact that the true gender inequality isn't - in Western countries at least - what we're all constantly told. Your opinion is all the more precious and valid because you've experienced both sides of the spectrum, and you're not the first trans person I see pointing it out. Unfortunately, I don't think our feminist society is able to hear such things. Cis women don't want to recognize or don't even realize these inequalities, and cis men who report them are at best ignored, at worst dispraised, like I was on a forum recently.
As a 72 y.o. Cis male heterosexual, I may be a little plain vanilla here, originally attracted by the latke recipe. However, I also love trying to understand human behavior, struggles, successes, failures. Decades ago I was assigned to write a series of short profiles of high school students; although a managing editor was trying to shaft me, I loved doing them almost more than anything else I’ve written. Anyway, I am very impressed by Maya’s courage, her determination and ability to function even when obviously shaken and depressed, her ability to communicate hope, and her willingness to try to make her insights concrete, real and understandable to other persons while tempering expectations with experience. (Put that sentence in for a Henry James Medal Honoring English Syntactic Excess!) I also respect her insistence that these are but her experiences and feelings, which others may not share. Finally she touches my Great Uncle Hal protective tendencies with her courage, nervousness, anxiety, and vulnerability, yet determination to overcome, in that first video. You just want to put an arm around the newborn, or about to be born, Maya’s shoulder, give her a squeeze and a smile, and tell her she might not believe it today, but she will be ok. I gather from another video that today’s maya also wishes she could go back and tell her younger self that she was OK. Markus must have experienced so much pain and bullying and nasty, demeaning put downs. And maybe so much more. I never truly understood the need of some people to demean others, as illustrated already by a few comments on this page, but going through this as a young person, while also feeling dysphoric about yourself, must leave such painful psychic scarring. While appearances may be deceiving, you seem to be navigating life’s twist and turns with some joy and optimism. Good luck with all.
I felt the same way watching Maya's transition. She is undoubtedly a very attractive young woman, but as a 56 year old cis male, I too felt that Daddy instinct toward her.
I also feel disappointed to hear that some people feel a need to bully people.
Maya is such a wonderful person beyond her looks. I can't imagine why anyone wants to attack her.
That is why i love her stories. They inspire me 💗
@Travis Bickle Not so much. But to each his or her own.
Grandpa, today's generation doesn't read such a lengthy summary.
@@femmegirl9933 I know. I thought it was too long but it just came out and I thought, what the fuck. I also didn't realize this would be at the top of the comments, or I would have edited it down. I can write short, prefer not to be telegraphic though. But this was a bit self indulgent which was thoughtlessly unfair to Maya.
As a male, I 100% agree with your estimate of what it is like to be male in society. I have been alive for 38 years, and I have always been the type to be to myself and focus on my work. People frequently overlook how tough it can be to be a man, and I thank you for highlighting this for others.
There should be a law where everyone is required to live as the opposite gender in their second year in high school for one year. Then you get the option of keeping it or going back.
Same I somehow also feel this way?
Jabre Thornton: that's great if you're that type, but some men are more sensitive to how they're treated, and they are just blamed and shamed.
@@nunyabiznez6381 that would be horrible...
@@Pleiodes Imagine how horrible it is for all the trans people who are forced to do that their whole lives.
Most of the times, I express my feelings as a male and I don't hide my emotions, and because of that my "manhood" was always under question. Thank you for highlighting that point
You are NOT the only one. I watch a sad movie and then I cry and the girl I'm with is all of a sudden ridiculing me for being unmanly. So I've learned to keep my emotions to myself a lot in life. So much so that some people ( I hang out with Trekkies a lot) accuse me of being a Vulcan. My problem is I have a difficult time knowing how far to take my control of it. So I just usually blank out my emotions altogether. But the unfortunate consequence is every once in a great while I just explode and the floodgates burst and I turn into a total wreck. And then people think I'm manic depressive.
@@nunyabiznez6381 This is so sad. I was just thinking how amazing Maya's vid was! A real keeper! & then I thought ... I'd never want to snuggle into male-Maya's hair!.... nope! But if I were watching a highlite reel of Joe Montana's TD passes..... I just might cry!! (Truly...only acceptable when you have a lot of $ riding on the game....as a guy.)
I watched all of your transition videos. You are the same person that you always were underneath your gender expression. You have always been kind, compassionate, intelligent, hard-working, creative, and emotionally well adjusted.
The largest difference that I have seen in you is that your confidence and sexuality has grown. Finding friends and lovers who accept you and care about you has been a big change.
You have accomplished a great deal by documenting the entire process. It's valuable to people who are trans and cis.
When I started living authentically, I learned real quick how women are treated, so I can’t wait to see you spill the T!!!! I did NOT expect the catcalls lol
Sylvia Swayne omg the cat calls are the worst, especially when you’re just running errands. 😡
Maya Henry I felt like I was just walking through a stereotype when a CONSTRUCTION WORKER OUTSIDE MY WORK OFFICE CATCALLED ME!!! I was gagged lol
You get cat calls? I guess if you get them a lot it sucks, but I'd like it just once for validation.
When I was 13 my friend and I were out walking and a truck passed by and there were girls in the back of this truck and they pulled up their shirts and flashed their breasts at us. I was shocked and traumatized as a result of this. It took many years and lots of therapy to get over the experience. Nah! Just kidding! What really happened was I ran home and masturbated.
Ugh their the worst 😭 so emotionally draining
Excellent conversation. With your experiences as male and female you have provided one of the best summaries I have ever heard. Your articulation of the issues is fabulous.
As a transgender female I’ve seen the world for the majority of my life through a male perspective and I 💯 agree with everything you said, thank you beautiful Maya ❤️
T Mac thank you ☺️
T Mac hehe sure why not 😄
Hello, how are you, I’m transman, been on T, 3 weeks now
Maya you're awesome for doing videos like this for people. Thank you
"Men is about status, women about the looks".. very interesting point, enlighting. Never really realized about that. Thank you for making this point! This enables us to change things in a positive way towards a better society.
As I watch your videos I find myself thinking how I would have felt had one of my children transitioned..I applaud your family and your great support system for the assertive person you have become, you speak honestly and are wise beyond your years . I just wonder how you have been living looking so feminine without an operation so far and how it has influenced your relationship. I hope you won't be offended by this question, I think you have a lot of strength to be so honest and outspoken.. All the best for your talks !! You are a very important voice, your beauty , sensibility and intelligence make the discussion on those important topics on a completely different level, so proud of you for educating people out there, and sorry for those who have abused this forum , most of the comments I see are very positive and welcome and embrace your voice.
maybe you can help me understand.
If this content was Streamed/posted on the 20th,...how is your comment 3 days old?
@@JadenJahci I subscribe so i made a comment based on watching Maya's channel in the past
I missed the live unfortunately
@@queensigal how is your comment
3 days old this video is only 20 hours old?
I lived as a man for 34 years. A soldier. Living as a passing trans woman now....life is a fuck ton easier and better.
Hello, I’m an army veteran myself, been on T, for 3 weeks now, where are you from
Very insightful as usual. As many men get older, we recognize that the standard "alpha male" presentation is precisely that, that it is most often a toxic compensation for numerous insecurities. I would very much like to hear you discuss the things you're passionate about in your life (as well as your focus on gender and transition issues. You already have done to some extent--subjects like "food", "film"...) Maja, I owe you an apology. I asked some apparently inappropriately personal question after one of your earlier videos, which was pointed out clearly to me by some of your trans followers. Obviously, I'm not alone, because right after that, you presented a video on "what not to say to a trans woman". I can only speak for myself, of course, but for me the confusion about propriety stemmed from that fact that you already share so much about your private life with your followers--whether it is about your intimate relations with other, your recent surgery, your hormone regimen, your make-up regimen... and on and on. The problem for me was it it has been very difficult to figure out where your boundries are as a result, what exactly is off limits or inappropriate in your unique case. (Proper protocol is already very clear to me for engaging trans folk I don't know very well.) Because of all that you personally have been sharing with anyone who has cared to listen, it is easy for those proprietal boundries to become blurred. You have gift for making listeners feel that they are included, to a large extent part of, that personal dialogue--especially those of us who have been listening to you and commenting for years. In my particular case, I have had more of a parental response to your progress. I mean very well. So, Maja, I'm very sorry for overstepping. Thank you for clarifying the expected social perameters... and perimeters as well. As always, I continue to wish you all the very best that life can offer you. It has been gratifying to watch you evolve so candidly, successfully and with so much generosity of spirit. Cheers.
Dear Maya, I am so grateful for this posting! You covered so much territory that is so deeply personal to me. Sometimes just the sound of your voice is like a soothing balm on an open wound I have suffered with my whole 67 years on this little blue planet in the cosmos. I always find your thoughtful reflections on the transgender experience enlightening. I think I’d go a little bit nuts if I wasn’t able to hear your perspective.
It was such a profound epiphany to discover this late in my life that there was a trans community out there of people confident in their Gender Identity and willing to share their lived experience and innermost thoughts. I must confess, I find your persona the most down-to-earth, unaffected, and natural of the transwomen I’ve encountered in my search for self-discovery. I wish I knew the words to express how much your posts mean to me!
The confidence and poise you radiate is inspiring Maya! I feel a strange mixture of wishing I had had the courage to be like you when I was your age, and alternatively being deeply attracted by your femininity! It feels so strange to experience gender dysphoria, and wish I could look as feminine as you, and at the same time feel very attracted to women in my sexual orientation. Honesty compels me to admit I think you radiate a natural feminine glow I find absolutely enchanting!
You talked about the difficulty in having male friends due to the ever-present underlying sexual tension. Surely you understand how hard it is for a guy to look at someone as lovely as you, with your naturally feminine mannerisms and captivating body language, and not be deeply attracted to you! I felt myself cringe inside when you talked about guys judging you by your appearance. As the father of 2 wonderful daughters, I can bear witness to the societal pressure women are always under. They’re both happily married now, and I am blessed with an adorable grandson who has just learned how to walk! This is such a cute age! But the constant pressure to conform to society’s screwed up definition of what “normal” or “appropriate” gender role conformity is can be devastating. You succeed at it so well Maya! I feel the urge to compliment your appearance all the time. I hope that doesn’t make me a shallow person.
When I think of all the ugly, hateful things Senator Rand Paul said about Gender Confirmation Surgery on the floor of the Senate to Dr. Rachel Levine, I almost feel sorry for him. He seems incapable of empathizing with the transgender experience. His ignorance on the subject could fill whole libraries! You are so breathtakingly feminine Maya, it would have been a crime against humanity if you weren’t allowed to express your inner womanhood! I hope you are doing well in this difficult time. I hope your post-surgical recovery is proceeding normally. You seem to doing well and you look fantastic! I wish you all the best. May you find all the happiness you so richly deserve. Thank you again for sharing your life with us!
You are perfect as a beautiful woman and your voice and body language only proves it!
We should stop feeding lies to these people... Maybe 1% of trans people can actually pass.
Maya, no matter the visual thing your opinions are what I listen to. You give good advice on topics of concern for those who need it.
This topic can go down an endless rabbit hole as it truly can be so complex as race, religion, and the cultural or financial environment one grows up in. However you did a good job of condensing the topics you were discussing as well as to highlight that this is “your” understanding of it.
This was such an interesting video!! Super cool to hear your perspective on how socialisation affects us
I absolutely love the way you talk about both sides. You don't blame anyone and also talk about the unfortunate things that need to change for men and have a very clear take on things. I really liked it^-^
Wow, Maya I have never heard anyone address this issue better than you have with this video.
Your humbleness about transistion is so awesome. It really is as you say a privellege that we have. We could have lived in a different time a different country and continued to live in absolute misery or cut our life short which is where I was heading. As hard and challenging as transistion is especially the cost, I'm so happy I live in a world where it's possible.
This is such an important topic. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I look forward to the day when all people feel free to be, do, and express who they are.
3:42 Women get complimented for their appearance, men mostly don't get complimented at all unless they're a superstar. The ONLY times I have received compliments are:
1) When I wear a funny t-shirt.
2) A handful of times in my life when accomplishing something very unusual and noteworthy.
3) Gay guys complimenting me when at a gay bar.
4) A romantic partner occasionally complimenting me on something physical or sexual.
I'm fortunate to have good taste in funny shirts.
When you mentioned electronics I first thought you meant it the way I do. Electronics has been my passion from an early age. My place looks more like an electronics lab than a home. When I enlisted I chose to be an electronics technician. I have designed and build many things. I forgot that most people think of electronics as the things they use for communications and entertainment.
You have no worries, love. You're a woman through and through. You have many accomplishments and are an inspiration to so many. Keep up the good work. 💕💕
Great video! It’s awesome to hear your view of living as a man and a woman! You are beautiful as both! I hope you are staying healthy and having a great November!
Thank you so much. You are an Amazing person and I really appreciate you putting yourself out there like this to help others like us.
Love this video Maya! Being welcomed into the sisterhood of women is probably the most rewarding part of my transition. Deeper connection with my women friends was something I always wanted and even then I had no idea how powerful it can be. ❤️
So glad you made this video! Passing as a trans woman, aside from genetics, may be essentially a class phenomenon. How sad. Being the father of 2 wonderful daughters, I know you're right about how women are judged so much more by appearances. Both of my daughters graduated from UC's, and were highly motivated and intelligen, but it was clear they felt the pressure on appearances, make-up, clothing, etc.
Hi Maya. I am your every day guy who learned so much by being a fan of the band Against Me. The singer and song writer Laura Jane Grace transitioned after I was a big fan. I knew very little about human struggles being trapped in the wrong gender. I watched her interviews and her story unfold in a very public way. I was so moved by her bravery, her passion, her sacrifices. I am even a bigger fan of hers now. She was so instrumental in many peoples awareness and acceptance of transgender life. She changed my perception, my compassion and my humbled adoration of something I knew nothing about! If you are not a fan of her, please look her up. I love her acoustic stuff. Like Black me out or true trans soul rebel. Btw you are elegant and beautiful!
Maya.... Your views make so much sense and I really appreciate your openness and honesty. Happy Canada Day!!!!
I enjoyed this video. I agree it's really different having guy friends once you start to pass. I noticed guy friends can be more difficult to have as well. Just hanging out and having them platonic friends doesnt work so well. They tend to get the wrong impression even when they knew you before. The socialization aspect is definitely night and day between the two genders. I noticed this even working in health care and tech
"I just want to carry these three cases of wine by myself." Three cases of wine! lol! As a full grown man I can barely carry ONE case of wine by myself! Although I fully applaud your dedication to keep plenty of wine at hand at all times.
Eloquently expressed, thanks for your openness!
You are so well spoken! Thanks so much for sharing, I found this interesting.
My wife maintains that I'm not "ugly" but I think she really just thought I was funny and made her feel comfortable (and needs stronger glasses). My appearance has been something I've always been conscious about especially with girls in high school. "Mom says I'm handsome, but I see Sloth from the Goonies when I look in the mirror" lol. At least you did something about it... also, someone opening a door for you isn't a diss at all. I do it all the time at work, and as a general respect in my daily life. Men, women, elders, if I can hold a door for them I will.
Society does women such a disservice by focusing so much on looks. Young women in particular (but all women to some extent) spend so MUCH time worrying about appearance that we should be using to focus on accomplishments, relationships and things that actually mean something.
I don't fly agree, I have lived as both too. Males get a lot of pressure, you need to be your best self, your full potential HAS to show. At least in my country, I guess it differs per culture anyway
The pressure for a man to be alpha doesn't just come from other men but from women as well.
It comes more from women. If women didn't care about men being alpha men wouldn't be alpha.
Fucking nonsense. Complete and utter nonsense.
@@Vares65 Are you going to provide any evidence as to why it's nonsense or just throw a tantrum?
true. Women romanticize the idea of an emotinal men. But they acually don't like it. A lot of woman tend to play with the emotions of man, that's why i tend to show my true feelings very late in a relationship and even then i don't spill the beans completly...
Listening to this, what is apparent is a major problem with society and its expectations. I am coming to this as a male who was bullied and friendless in primary school because off my refusal to conform to the expectations placed upon my gender at the time and which I felt I was being forced into. Once I became a teenager it became easier as I gained the confidence to be myself and define for myself how a male human should be. My male hormones kicked in and established my heterosexual orientation, but beyond that I have always lived how I want to live, not how society tells me to. Despite longing to play with the girls at primary school (which was forbidden) I have never had any wish or felt a need to transition, in spite of having friends who transitioned. This is a complicated issue and never as simple as some people make it appear.
I'm male but virtually all my relationships and friends are women...
I have never belonged with men but I don't feel femme. Some odd mix of both...
I absolutely love lot of the points you touched on I could identify with pretty much with different areas
You are an amazing person. Its a wonderful thing you do to help other people to understand that we can all be who we really want to be. Be safe. Sending peace and love.
Transition changed almost nothing for me except for alleviating dysphoria, I have no social safety net, I was raised to be independent, all my perceived value comes from what I have accomplished on life, I never ask for help neither I feel like I have anyone to ask. Yes, people are nicer to me, it is easier to get dates (not that I ever tried before), but I'm totally clueless about socializing and what to look for in a partner. It is really hard for me to relate to some women's issues.
You voice is so amazing and beautiful.
you are cute
Related to how hard it is being friends with guys I'd really like to hear the opinion of anyone who's reading this! 😊
I'm at uni and I ended up being in a group project with some guys that I didn't know. They're friends. There's also another girl in the group. So at the start I thought they're kind of fun, we share some interests, I'd totally be friends with them, the dynamic was great and one of the guys was really tying to include me in the group, I didn't think anything of it because that's his personality, he's really outgoing. So he started talking to me in private, not only in the group chat, but it was related to our project so I didn't think that it was weird and then we talked about other stuff too (normal friendly conversation flow). We never talked about anything private, I never complimented him, I never touched him or tried to be close to him (you know what I mean) whenever we had to meet, I mean I even kind of roasted him a few times. He then asked me if I wanted to hang out some time (he said something like ' or do you wanna keep it professional ?). So my first reaction was yeah sure why not (thinking that he wanted to hand out as friends, with friends or something). Obviously my reaction was kind of dumb so then next time that he talked about it I was like ' well did you want to hang out with friends or just the two of us?'. He said : just the two of us. To which I responded : I'm kind of seeing someone and don't want to make this weird. And then we started being weird and proceeded throwing shade at me for the next few weeks (meanwhile I never talked about it again and even asked him if he wanted to hang with me and my friends hoping that it would make it less weird for us to work together).
Anyway, where did I mess up ? I really want to avoid being in such a situation again 😳
When a guy start talking wirh you more then just a project. He's interested!
If such things happens more offen, just say early that U are seeing someone or that U just are looking for friendship. It shows clearly your interests and the other person can move on faster
Hope i could help ya
Appearance is the first thing we sense. When we first meet I don't taste you, I don't feel you, I might hear you but I don't find myself into how attractive a voice is (usually, there was an exception). So sight is what we sense first. From my point of view the question is not why do men find a woman's appearance so important. It's why don't women find men's appearance to be important. Which leads to a question of what in the world is it women find attractive in men. choose your answer carefully; don't make me say wallet.
I've had this MTF problem for 75 years. GD is tough to handle. Even though I'm a successful male another part of me is definitely female. I never had the will to "transition", or the resources to do so. I am the self who unites the two lovers within this body. They are my sex persona, or gender masks. I keep the male to cope with the public, and the female as his private lover. I ate GD for breakfast, lunch and dinner. There is no need for outside validation, my male validates my female each time they have sex together.
Pretty interesting living as a girl, never knew my ass was so fascinating. Only did it for a while, got scared pretty quickly. Too old to try again probably. But you never know, cougars and leopords are a thing. It's a lot of hard work though, shaving all that body hair.
12:43 "I find it difficult to have friends that are men."
Men have this difficulty, too. By and large, men just don't have friends at all as they age.
I’ve loved watching your videos. It actually has given me the confidence to talk with my family about my own start of my journey to transitioning.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us! The information is really invaluable to me, considering that I haven't actually started transitioning yet. Would love to see more vids like this from you!
Everything you're saying is exactly everything I'm feeling lately.
You have wisdom beyond your years...keep up your great messaging
No ,, Not beyond at all.. Every one has to work shit out ,,,
I think your looks don’t mean shit, and so tired of the generation making it about looks. Go to work on time. Don’t call in. Work your ass off and stay off your phone. Learn what management does and do that. No ones cares what you look like, or what’s between your legs. Do your job whatever it is and you will be rewarded based on performance.
@@studio3121music I don't wanna know whats between their legs...thats frightening..lol 😭🤔😂
BarnYard I’m saying no one cares
My fiancee is a,transgender woman and she doesn't dress up or wear makeup all the time. She also rides a motorcycle during the late spring through early Fall/Autumn . We are both lesbians. She is more feminine and I'm more androgynous Tom Boyish.
Thank you again for sharing Maya! You basically described my life! You are an inspiration to me now that I have started my mtf transition! And yes you are very attractive! I was not sure how to react when men started telling me how good I looked! Not something I was used to as a male! Take care and Be Safe and keep being you!!!
As for wardrobe expenses, thrift stores are your friends. I once found a $2500 Brooks Brother's suit for $25 and got it altered to fit me perfectly for another $100. So I paid $125 for a $2500 suit. I have also paid $10 for hand made Italian shoes, wingtips. You can tell quality by looking under the shoe and if you see a bunch of little nails it was most likely hand made and cost hundreds new.
As always so insightful.💖
You're such a bright button and always put out the words I struggle myself to explain to the world 😬 The days I feel down you always seem to post and bring my whole mood back to princess 👸🏻 You've given me focus, inspiration and much more help than my Doctor and family without knowing it 😊 keep up the angelic work 😘 Thank you.
This is a perspective I have always wondered about. I'm too shy to ask my trans friends.
Thanks for this vid.
*You're so inspiring! Thankyou so much for your honest and uplifting videos. Your videos have really helped me learn and grow as a person.* 🥰💯🙏🏼👑
Thank you so much! ♥️
In grade 8 we studied genetics I ask a question about genes producing a guy but it was actually a woman. Teacher hated the question and said it doesnt happen. The year was 1973.
you are so articulate! it's always nice watching your videos because of that :) thanks for always sharing your point of view
10:55 as an Aromantic asexual AFAB NB, I can confirm it's nearly impossible to have platonic relationship with any man (who's not gay). Even if you told you're not romantically or sexually interested in them, most of them would keep on talking with you a certain sexual way (I've just lately learnt to better recognize it so I can stop conversation since they'd still expect "something more" as an outcome). And those who really get it, normally just lose their interest to have any contact with you. It's just what it is ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
2:40 - I would also say though that for a man, there is a loneliness specifically because of that. Men must be utile; women need be beacons of love. In other words, women actually benefit from being loved as they are, while men benefit from being loved as they do.
That’s powerful stuff! As a man my relationships have been judged by what I bring to the table. Really tough to please my two significant relationships as I was constantly falling short of their expectations no matter how hard I tried. And I really worked hard and did my best. Alone now and it sucks!
K C Never give up on love, dear. It’ll guide you. ♥️
@@KC-dx5pf real feminity - thinking that a man is just a tool for her. Shame that women dont like to change that one of their worst traits for the better of others.
Fascinating - I do enjoy your current video’s - you’re an education!
you know what the first thing you mention is really interesting and true but I want to say also that it's not just appearance, it's character too... I think people are willing to overlook a man's dark side if he's doing good stuff
Thank you for this Maya. I've been following you very quietly for a while and really like your videos. These differences are mostly things I see and feel as well. It's also something that I often find myself talking about with some of my cis friends because I'm constantly amazed at just how different so many things actually are. My experience is, however, rather different from yours in that I'm a woman "or a certain age" now and almost rarely wear make-up. I also don't spend much on clothes - although it IS one of the pleasures in life to go shopping now (that's another big difference by the way!) But, it's just not something that is really critical. The more critical things, like electrolysis would be taking priority if it weren't for lock-down. Keep up the great work, and all the best. x
Great video👍🏼, I liked the honesty in the video. ..... there is one thing I would like to add. I think it’s the difference that is generally questioned. For a guy who often doesn’t dress well is questioned if he is well dressed. Similarly girls generally like to keep well dressed and like to be complimented on their looks, hence that’s what happens. I think girls are beautiful even without makeups or without huge wardrobe. I think it comes down to how you generally keep yourself..... again it is not a fight between men and women and most of the differences can be resolved if we start observing ‘ourselves’ along with the society.
Women love shallow stuff themselves, if guys don't compliment then they are considered as rude, if they do compliment then I guess they think about shallow stuff, lol.
Women judge other women especially on looks and clothes (shallow stuff).
By the way you look really beautiful.
Live how you want! Be you! Best thing about real ppl, they will be themselves.
I think it is because of evolution psychology. Back in the days a man would easily die if he show weakness.
There are times my "inheritance" of living as a male make it difficult for me to have interactions with women, though I must point out hormones really eased some of the problems I had with it.
One of the very first times I was perceived to be female I quickly learned how many of those times it happened during moments I am not actually out there calling for that kind of attention (when doing grocery shopping for instance) and it made me sort of careful in relationships with women.
Of course I noticed how male classmates could be towards women before, but it was a whole different world getting that attention from men (which, by the way, happened way before I got on hormones).
The one time I fell in love with a woman that was not completely out of my league (and at the same time having the feeling like there was a mutual interest) I was already hesitant to tell her I liked her because of those prior experiences of noticing how men tend to be towards women and I think scared her off with that and she never talked back ever since.
Next to having the feeling the interest was actually mutual and finding out that was not the case being hurtful, it also hurted in a much different way.
Most women that I have talked to do not tend to have a problem with me being transgender, but being genuinely curious about my experiences is a whole different thing when it comes to having some kind of personal experience with the subject (I am not going into to much detail, because I am not sure if she would like that, she was not transgender herself but knew a great deal about the subject).
I must definitely mention that I have not been in relationships with girls/women, not even simple friendships before I transitioned, , so that probably does not help, but good riddance was I heartbroken that I blew up a chance to be friends with a girl who was willing to teach me some hair and skin-care things (even if only, it was for me to find out that is not my thing).
I am less anxious when I am around women since hormones, but some (even some transgender women) can still scare the crap out of me for the simple fact they might have more experience in their role of being a woman and I have absolutely no clue sometimes.
When people ask me how the hell I managed to stay out of a relationship for so long (I am 32 now) it somehow is difficult to explain to them that it's not exactly beneficial that, when entering boy puberty there are 4 feelings suddenly dominating your thoughts surrounding some of the really girly-girls in your high school classes:
1. I can't stand you for being all girly and seemingly being pre-occupied with basically nothing else!
2. I am really crazy jealous for you being able to be a girl
3. Stay away because I am afraid I just might do something stupid
4. I fucking love you (with the knowledge I have now that being in love with them was simply my way of hoping to get to know their world a little bit better and having a good excuse for it)
And having to conclude none of those first three thoughts make any sense after arriving at number 4 when I was 14 (I was a little bit late puberty-wise).
This is an experience I sometimes really wish I could've skipped, because now, I feel like I am absolutely ready to experience all those things for the very first time ever and I have absolutely no clue where to start and am afraid my first relationship might not last long due to my inexperience.
I know you’re saying that you feel as a woman that people compliment your appearance more, but i felt the need to tell you that your hair is truly beautiful. I want my hair to look like that but mine is short and grown out
A video crew once stealth-followed a cohort who was a model who thought it was an interesting project to walk around NYC streets in business attire to document sexual harrassment attractive women face on a daily basis. By the end of the day of hours of secretive filming, the CIS-gendered woman was crying from the stress of getting more unwanted attention than ever-before faced in her days of an average amount of walking! I wonder if that kind of experience also makes transgendered women's blood boil with rage to the point of frustrated tears, it seems it may feel different as a "new" experience.
I once had a college professor, who was male and Southern and a theater instructor, instruct he female students that they should all want to become experts at applying makeup, "Because, the truth is, if you're a woman, and you don't wear make-up, people will think there's something wrong with you."
All the hours of other-pleasing grooming is one way the patriarchal hierarchy has kept most women from achieving their true potential.
As many foul ways as patriarchal societies wound boys by not allowing them to express "feminine" emotions such as crying which leads to violence from supressed emotions, it has even more insidious ways to wound the females it pretends to elevate so thank you for reporting from your perspective on this all-around wounding that is perhaps worst for single mothers when an hourly wage-gap is Still the reality that creates, in USA, the largest number of people who live below poverty line being: children and women. With elders who are female making up the biggest slice of the poverty percentage pie, most having spent a lifetime earning less money, and often with more financial responsibility for children than deadbeat dads with higher incomes and after having a lifetime of higher "personal" expenses for everything from menstrual products to clothing with the ever-changing "fashions" expected to be current and astronomical make-up expense of attempting to look good-enough so hat nothing appears to be "wrong" with them or to attract love in a superficial, patriarchal world that spits on such "feminine" values as "love" and is in dire need of more empathy, compassion and social justice.
Fabulous. Well spoken and very clear. Thank you
Maya: Very interesting, analitic and complete explanation. I am watching you from Guadalajara, Mexico. Congratulations!
You're literally my hero
You nailed it when you described men culture. The use of the word "linear" was spot on. That's high praise coming from a straight male who wonders about these things. Men, IMO and as you have pointed out, have, perhaps regrettably, boxed themselves into this Alpha culture that is overtly oppressive and conformist. By following this very narrow definition of what being a man is all about, many men are leading themselves into a life of loneliness, misery, and addiction. It's too bad, but I don't have any answers.
One line, from the Final Fantasy VII Remake, you might like is "True beauty is an expression of the heart. A thing without shame, to which notions of gender don't apply."
I am a cis male but some time I get misgender because of my long hair. the funniest part is the look on males faces when they open the door for me and I say thank you.
My male colleague also has long hair that he wears in a bun when he works at the supermarket and once this man tapped him on the back and said something like “darling could you get me that bread.” And he turned around and the man’s face just contorted in like disgust and shame hahahahahaha
How brilliantly you put the things .. amazing. Certainly you’re lucky to have a life of your choice. Not many people can afford that.
You are so very inspiring, thank you!
Maya, I always perceive you as a pretty woman and I truly admire what you have done and what you are doing. Love you so much.
In all the time you lived as a boy, what percentage of that time was spent thinking you were a girl and how much was spent thinking you were a boy?
I know the struggle, if you must be male, what the society expect from you.
But you cannot be male, and fullfill their expectations.
Whatever reasons, in my case also health reasons, from my birth on, etc.
Also got many rejects, and lost many jobs.
Because I don´t fit in the male gender, and this confuses the people.
You cannot say:"This is still a man, not a woman."
because maybe she never was a man ?
Let the people live, their way of life.
("I do it my way" sang Frank Sinatra. - "I am what I am" with Gloria Gaynor or Shirley Bassey)
It doesn´t matter me, how they become their visible gender.
I was born a woman and I love your overall views and completely agree with everything you said ❤️
I'm a huge supporter and transgender activist for the transgender community. Excellent topic of choice for discussion
Bravo - Thank you for making this video to talk about these differences. I have increasingly been trying to address these different perspectives that I have experienced with larger groups of people. One of the bigger differences that seems to surprise people is the change of how my brain works. The testosterone brain seemed to prioritize having sexual partners. Now, I am even more compassionate and caring.
LOL - all the guys are holding the door for me too! I didn't think of that until you mentioned it. It was kinda rare for people to hold the door or offer to help me carry things before.
I felt a lot of pressure to be more masculine before I started my transition. I have never been attracted to men though, yet some of the pressure was homophobic. The societal expectations to be manly were impossible for me to satisfy, but it took me far longer to discover that transitioning was feasible and possible for me. I've never been happier.
My social life has blossomed. I am so much more outgoing now.. I enjoy meeting new people no matter who they are. Socializing before was muted to a degree because I was suppressing some part of my true self and that made things more difficult.
The expenses are unreal!
@Willow Gillingham: I agree totally with you. - Feel to get hugged.
Aa a transgender certified personal trainer, the ONLY physical labor I like is in the gym, working out, HIIT, paddle boarding, mountain biking. Other than that, I abhor physical labor as I am very girly. I'm 64, but I look much younger. My lifestyle is that of a 20 something year old. Oh, my eating plan is spot on.
It's very interesting! I also noticed the social aspect before transitioning. Honestly also passing to a certain agree just so society respect you and that it affects our privilege is ugh idk. It's a weird concept. We're all humans yet we get treated differently depending on just our looks etc.
First video I seen. Very articulate. I was quite impressed. Great topic.
Terrific video. So thoughtful and insightful.
I forget if I told you but I'm 49 and started hormones at 47 and finally feel like I'm comfortable in my own skin and things make more sense why I felt so uncomfortable when I was younger!!
Hi Kenzie, I'm in exactly the same situation as you. I'm not sure about you but I'm on my own now, that's hard but I've no other choice really.
A very interesting clip especially the section on how males react when they know you're trans compared to when they don't know. Like you the vast majority of my friends are female.
You are so incredibly eloquent..and interesting..I absolutely love your posts..it feels like I'm being treated to a special lecture each time..Thank you so much for all you share..What a wonderful person you are..I say person first..because I feel that's the highest compliment I can give you...You are v beautiful..and of course... I dont know you personally..but your videos show you to be a v v kind..warm loving fun soul.. I'd be v v proud to have you as a pal..Big hugs from Swansea..UK.. ps..sending you cat loving vibes from my 4 fur babies!! Meaww..xx
Very much agree. At school it seemed that boys were either the alphas, or just there to be used as a training “punch bags” for the alphas.
Tend to find that those in the more technical areas are far less questioning over transition or technical knowledge than the general population. Although certainly still some who have a lower regard of female skills.
An awesome video as always, Maya.