At the time of writing this, this video is unlisted. I had to take it down from being public. This is why: I upload my videos to RUclips 3 days in advance so that I can see if they will be monetized or not and request a review or make some changes/mute some words etc. I don't mind this so much because at least I can work out issues before the video is made public. This video WAS monetized but 10 minutes after release it was suddenly demonetized. It really sucks because views on this video were EXPLODING. I have taken it down temporarily and asked for a review. I'm sure you'll agree, nothing in this video is hateful or obscene so there is no reason for this to be demonetized. Sorry for the inconvenience. I will make the video public again ASAP. It is issues like this that make me diversify income with things like sponsorships, consultations and Patreon.
ooo...is that so? as insecure men.. i felt attractive women always wants men to watch her..to ignore is to have your eyes skewed.. but i never thought ignoring makes them felt miserable...i will definitely be aware and try to ignore them after this.
@@neo_7864 it's very important that your decision to ignore attractive women should be motivated by the right reasons. If you do it for the sole purpose of retaliation/revenge (for getting burnt by the women in your past ) or with an intention to make them miserable ,then you're doing it for the WRONG REASONS. You have to change your mindset and do it for yourself, In order to make yourself a better man . Re-watch this video as to how it makes you a stronger version of you.
@@brandonpinto5290 thanks for the reminder. True, indeed wrong intention always end up with eating you back up or cant benefit you. Always do it for betterment of yourself ie self-care.
Handsome guy looks at a woman: “Don’t turn around. That hot guy is giving you the eyes Brenda!” Ugly guy looks at a woman: “Uggh. That creep is checking you out Brenda!”
I'm ugly and not all women act that way most will talk to me smile and just have a nice casual conversation with me , I work in a mall so I see and talk to a lot of nice them, if a women doesn't talk to me that's cool and just move on.
I grew up thinking I wasn't attractive. So I went "monk mode" emotionally and mentally at a very early age. Truth is I wasn't bad looking, just low self esteem. And women absolutely flirted with/stalked me. And part of the reason, I have to believe, is my default mode of ignoring them. I also made only eye contact, and didn't care about them beyond them as an annoying talking person. Alex is correct. A woman that is used to being seen as attractive will flock to the very few men that don't stare at them. You are different. You are above the rest. A woman only wants the man that isn't looking at her.
Yeah they will flock to the average looking men who are ignoring them. But once these men give this attention they want, they will no longer be attractive to her.
Your focus is the only thing over which you have truly FREE WILL. Thoughts and sensations may arise on their own but it's your own free choice whether to pursue them or allow them to pass and fade into the void. This profound truth is something that Stoicism and Buddhism have been trying to teach us for millennia.
I've even heard women admit wanting to touch other womens breasts, just to compare. I'm serious and didnt make this up. It's just cruel. Anyway.. I'll look as much as I want, since I learned to decouple my actions from that, haha! I'm a god damn genius.
Lidaa latap some may argue that staring is an addiction to looking. Honestly porn addiction shouldn’t even be regarded as an addiction as it cheapens serious addictions that your body seriously depends on like alcohol or psychedelic drugs. Porn doesn’t even require you to take anything it’s just mental and a shift in perspective that’s it. It is literally as small as looking away or stop looking.
So many thoughts are there hard to get the kind of woman you want these days looks and personality wise that’s why am addicted to porn because it satisfies the whole of my life that I can’t seem to find
@@cellyszn20 In general I agree with what you are saying here. However, I want to correct you that psychedelics as a drug type does not cause your body that serious addiction that alcohol or other drugs can.
@@cellyszn20 I think that's a sorta simplistic way of looking at things. this coming from a recovering alcoholic who watches too much porn. with that being said you aren't technically wrong.
Shopping for mental arousal from looking at hotties isn't always detrimental to your mental health. I find it enticing from time to time,unless I am invested in the woman.
@@sholack2207 they have. I saw an article recently written by a MeToo fanatic, with the line "it's not enough to just not harrass us, you can't just ignore us either". Total entitlement complex, not sexist but ridiculous nonetheless.
This is why men go around being tense and nervous and feel guilt. It is a very effective way to gain power. Dress up and wear makeup that looks like shes about to get an orgasm on your c..k and then force you to not look by the punishment of shaming. This induce enormous cognitive dissonance in men causing insecurity. In traditional civilizations we had modesty. It was for many good reasons.
@@erikkaareson6493 Are you saying that it should be illegal for women to wear bikinis and such? Also, if you're approaching this from an evolutionary perspective, it should be noted that no other living creatures wear clothes or believe in modesty.
NewToRUclips this reminds me of that video of that talk show host named Conan who had a guest wearing a tight dress with her breast out but expected Conan not to look saying “Eyes up here.” Then he called here out on it in a lighthearted and comical way. Women and their hypocrisy though..
Seriously I realize when you dont pay attention or chase them they start noticing you and sometimes come to you. Thats the idea, it makes it easier chasing is pointless and waste of time
You have to be compelling and have something going on for yourself. You're ignoring because you're busy and have more important things to do. Things that a girl or a woman might see as attractive or at least a net benefit to her. The act of ignoring as a strategy in and of itself is transparent and not effective. A comic afficiado who's ignoring a girl isn't generally as effective as a star quarterback ignoring the same girl, unless she's just really into comic enthusiasts. The truth is always more complex that just following some strategic rules. Ignoring a girl because you don't feel she's worth your time is a blow to her ego and she may attempt to rectify that by gaining your attention. Still, if that's the reason she's doing it, she's fake and still should be ignored.
@@grayalun Yes and no. Though they want to settle with a top dude they rely on the attention of the rest for the ego and to see if they are still attractive. If all the ugly dudes didn't give a crap about a beautiful women she would lose faith in her own worth.
I watched this video yesterday evening and I tried it out. This is kind of strangely amazing. When I started not looking at women I began to feel more in control and more confident. When I was getting to where I was going I would just look straight ahead and it felt like I was on a mission and I had all my focus. I felt this simply going to the dining hall on campus. My focus was not taken away by the attractiveness of women. it was like having ownership of my focus and not letting every girl with a nice ass have it. It’s nice to look but honestly this idea is freeing. I’m gonna be trying this! Great video Alex! Damn your good!
I have been implementing this for past 3 years and it’s sad that we have come to a state where individualism has corrupted the social interactions to a point where you feed a persons’s ego just by looking at them.
That's not individualism. That's the exact antithesis of the word. The very definition of individualism entails that you wouldn't need others' validation in the first place to "feed your ego." Food for thought.
@@azizmabrouk3555 we all need love. Individualism replaces love with ego. We need community, but Western culture (since the "Enlightenment") is to a large degree based on the idea that every man *is* an island.
@@azizmabrouk3555 I don't think there are individualists (cannot be in society), they think they are individualists - ego. *ShipperS7* summed it up very well.
For men in general , in your 20 s : ( 80% emotions 20 % logic ) In your 30s ( 50% emotions 50 % logic) In your 40s ( finally emotions stand down at 20% and 80% logic ) - this spot is where magic starts to happen for most men ! And we seem to keep it up moving on forward as we age.
@@georgemichaels2325 Yup, and their drying up ovaries (if they are childless). I've had some overwiehgt woman flirt with me too, she was over 30 and childless, the desperations could be smelled for over a mile away.
@Don't worry About it there over 200,000 women in prison and there are over 2,000,000 million men in prison. Not exactly 95% but us men are more prone to commit crimes. Men are more prone to engage in risky behavior.
When I'm out and about in public, I completely avoid looking at women Sometimes I can tell from the corner of my eye that a woman is looking at me. Sometimes a friend will tell me that a woman was checking me out. Still, I don't look I don't want to give my attention to a stranger who has not earned it or proven themselves to be trustworthy, and I don't want to undermine my lifestyle of celibacy. My peace of mind is worth too much
It's like seeing a different world when I'm wearing sunglasses, women tend to look at me more frequently because they assume I'm staring straight ahead and not at them
Women flock to you when you appear inward-looking and contemplative. They want to know what is so alluring about your mind that it draws your attention. In particular, the fact that it draws your attention away from them. They know the power their looks have on men, and they feel helpless seeing that power having no effect. Their nature makes them perceive it as an affront. A withholding of the attention they are owed and accustomed to.
I agree, but you shouldn't stop looking at women purely because you think that will make you more attractive to women. Do it for you and your own self-improvement
@@acrez3260 This is true. I began doing it for the wrong reasons, but the improvement came nonetheless. I’m not saying the ends justify the means, but I am glad I began to do this, whatever my reasons may have been in the beginning.
I learned to stop looking at women/girls in 1983, when I was a sophomore in highschool. I had to, in order to avoid fights with angry bullfriends, and to avoid the looks of disgust and revulsion from the girls themselves. After highschool, I stopped looking at women for the reasons discussed in this video. Being unable to have what I was continually seeing was extremely painful and destructive to my mental health, happiness and contentment.
I think it's the same for some women too. It is for me sometimes if I feel a connection with a man that's not just physical, but energetic. I hope you now have (or will have) a lovely partner to help you grow spiritually and on all levels... As well as the regular stuff. Relationships can be so difficult to come by sometimes (still single due to being quite different)
I found if a girl 'caught' me looking at her, it was automatically I like her 🤷♂️I was just being me and I look at whatever/whichever to assess my surroundings like everyone with eyes does. I was basically taught not to look at women 🤷♂️ because some of them are so egotistical that they think you are checking them out.
But man, the 80s were definitely different times than the ones now man. I hear from both my parents that the 70s and 80s were very beautiful times. Music, kids being kids, school and just people being chill, sure their were bullies and stuff but the Era looks so cool, wish I was born during those times
@@tylerallen8753 I seen this myself I be looking everywhere and I seen a chick like act like she fixing her hair like I was all in her face that really blew me cause I was just checking my surroundings
bro. i'm going to the gym for the last few years, and I'm gradually looking less and less at the girls, what i notice is the more i dont look at them the more they look at me. they probly are like "Why the hell that guy not looking at me, i'm half naked right here doing my wierd exercise and he just walking around like i'm not existing." love it !
I realised no woman ever turns her head after passing a good looking guy. But guys almost break their necks each day. This to me reflects womens sense of higher value to men. If she turns she fears to reflect desperation and she also feels she is the bigger catch so she won't turn. Men, we turn a whole lot. At some point i asked myself why i do it cz it never amounts to anything rlly meaningful but a spoiled moment were i clda just been happy goin my way wout any unyeilding distraction.
Stop being weak and giving into your temptations, yeah its hard believe me but you can train your brain not to lust after every attractive women you see, giving up porn is a good start..
Lamb Stu Yea porn and nudes I will no longer accept nudes of women it’s making their bodies played out in a way and I want to be attracted completely during every encounter
There are more good looking women than men and women can be "deconstructed". Maybe she's skinny without curves but have a beautiful face, or she has a curvy body and an average face, or she have sexy legs, eyes, hair, etc. Guys are more plain in looks, is face, body or both and that's it.
Also, we were busy thinking ten other thoughts. I'm female and I'll be thinking about the crappy behaviour of five people I met that day or about how I need to do another ten things, or how I'm still unemployed or have no friends.... So passing an attractive man is just another thing that happened that day. The likelihood of my dating that guy is minuscule so why give my power away to another stranger? Also, some women have some serious trauma from men. That's where I am right now. I've have horrible experiences with unintelligent, emotionally traumatised and narcissistic men and women and I'm fed up of everyone now as I don't meet people from my soul tribe. So I've given up!!
Thank you, AG. Great video. There is a distinction to be made here between noticing and looking. Noticing is natural while looking is covetous and comes from a mentality of scarcity. If you pass a store window advertising things you want but know you can’t afford, do you stop and stare longingly then feel defeated because you don’t believe you will ever be able to afford those things, or are you merely aware the store is there but keep walking by because you are already dedicated to doing the work it will take to get yourself into a position where you can afford those things and better, and you no longer have time to stop and stare ? Self-improvement is the key here. If you notice the beautiful Women all around you but you feel defeated looking because your perception of yourself creates a lack of confidence, then, if you mean to change that, self-improvement is the way to acquire much of that confidence. The beauty of self-improvement is that, whether or not it results in increased success in partnering, it is best for you and your life to always be looking for ways to improve yourself - complacency is both a relationship and personal cancer. Improving yourself is the best way to become the target audience for quality Women - they will notice and I suspect they will begin to tailor their advertisement and put themselves where you will be looking, but even if they don’t, then you are still better for it in the confidence you have acquired through self-improvement. You can set the terms, you have manifested an abundance of choice, you have become the decider. Looking forward to your next.
I'm a single man in my late fifties; I've always enjoyed seeing attractive girls as do most fellahs. Nothing unusual about that. However in recent years I learned not to expend too much effort looking at such girls specifically because of whtt this guy said. Why torture myself? A casual passing glance is quite sufficient. There's no mystery for me under her clothes so what's the point of looking any further as if I've any right whatsoever to be wondering about such things? The 'pile of cash' analogy is very good.
I tried this once on a Saturday walking around a food festival. I ignored women left, right and center and the result was horrific, these women would start stepping in my path or blatantly walk across in front of me as if on cue. Luckily I could sense this and take evasive action to avoid collisions, in the end I ghosted, wtf is wrong with women these days?...
@@stoatrepublic Because they crave for validation and attention. When women don't get that attention it drive them crazy you aren't fueling their childish egos. Trust me it is hard to do sometimes but it take time build the habit of not looking at every women that comes your way. I'm currently practicing stoicism, visual discipline, and internal discipline of mind.
@@gabrielguzman6018 Things haven't got any better, can't even go to the supermarket without getting objectified and followed. Even up on the allotment my neighbor keeps biting her lip, plays with her hair, bends over letting her tits fall out while standing there talking to me. Even tried to get me in her shed after knocking everything down and getting trapped, luckily I met her husband in car park when I was going home...
Wow, that analogy about the money of the street was so spot on. If I am at a bar or the beach or something, and all I do is steal glances at beautiful women, my mood gets worse and worse, even though I was happy when I got there. Brilliant stuff here Alexander
Can you explain that? I'm just curious why it's sadness you feel? I mean is it because you are board with your wife/girlfriend? Or does it happen when single too?
@@flamer9783 true as hell actually.. All a woman has to do is approach a guy she actually wants attention from, and she will get what she wants a decent amount of the time.. No woman wants an ugly guy their dm's
Got out of the dating game a couple of years ago, unscathed thankfully, and my life has never been simpler or more peaceful. Modern western women are just too dangerous/risky.
Anyone reading this that wants to quit porn, please stop staring at women ! What Alexander says is incredibly valuable and the necessary step in trying to stop the watching of pornography. Everytime you oogle basically, at women, you're body really does get that dopamine response. You can literally FEEL it, you don't need some scientific journal to tell you that.
I agree with this one. Just today I had three men stare at me until I became so uncomfortable and we literally were just passing each other on the street as one does. No one smiled or spoke to me. My personal and energetic boundaries were therefore violated. Earlier on I spoke to a man from my Pilates class and he wasn't attracted to me so we had a decent conversation about exercise and the gym. That was the most functional conversation I've had with a man in some time lol
@@skyejacques It's been a year since this and I can say that I have looked at women. But FAR from staring, I could never stare. The thing is, I get looked at as well and it doesn't bother me, also it's hard not to look at others from time to time. And with our recent lockdowns, I'm noticing more and more girls looking whenever I'm out
lol Your comment got me wondering, so I went to skim through one of his other videos. I think this one shows that it doesn't. You can see enough to see there's nothing in the middle. ruclips.net/video/NToqAl_TZlo/видео.html
At first I thought Alexander put it there to show how stupid she is. (with editing) And I'm thinking: "But is she stupid? And even if, is it fair to make fun of her?" Then I realized it would be out of Alexander's character to do it. Then I noticed it looked to real. That axe confused the hell out of me😂😂
This is why men go around being tense and nervous and feel guilt. It is a very effective way to gain power. Dress up and wear makeup that looks like shes about to get an orgasm on your c..k and then force you to not look by the punishment of shaming. This induce enormous cognitive dissonance in men causing insecurity. In traditional civilizations we had modesty. It was for many good reasons.
I can confirm this. For years that cognitive dissonance plagued me all throughout middle school, high school and college. I felt I was a bad for being sexually attracted to women...I sometimes I still feel that guilt.
As a woman I approve! I don't show a lot of skin, I'm kind and welcoming with people in general, it happens that guys become creepy with me and look at me head to toe in a needy way... That just wanna make me run for the hills haha. Also I don't like neither when I'm knowing a guy and he just look at every bimbo passing by. You look needy and in lack of self control. I never do that type of things with or without man since I respect my man. Women can be creepy too. Looking to somebody you don't know like a creep is a lack of decency and education and self-awareness.
There's a huge difference between lusting after something/someone, and just enjoying how something looks... I don't want to OWN every person I find attractive. u_u I have no feelings of loss or sadness, when I can't own all the girls in a Playboy, because I had no desire to own them.
This is so cool! I've been doing what you advise here my whole adult life. And it's all true. Never gave it a lot of tought, but yeah, looking at sexy women is just torturing yourself unless you are able and decided to approach.
This brings up a question I've always wanted to know the answer to: what happens to a person's mind when they're being constantly stimulated sexually? I feel like when out in public, we're bombarded with sexually provocative triggers, from advertising, the clothing women are wearing casually, everything. I can't imagine having the sexual part of your mind/body activated all the time being healthy in any way, shape or form in the long term.
Alexander, your videos are extremely helpful. I feel most men are lost and need a mentor to guide them. You do a very good job helping us becoming a better man. At the end of the day it all comes down to being a better person in every was possible then by law of attraction you will eventually find a high quality woman. Stay masculine, find your purpose and you will be different from 95% of people.👌🏼
The thing is... what gets me 100x more than any sexual fantasy is seeing cute couples having fun together while I'm walking down the street. I should feel happy for em but all I feel is jealousy and inadequacy and I hate that. I need to fix it...
I'm glad this was discussed. I never understood why other men spend so much time looking at women on instagram or have posters on their walls of bikini models. I don't understand having celebrity crushes. I know a couple dudes who can recall every film their celebrity crush has been in. It just seems like torture. Why go through all that trouble pining over something you can't have?
I realize this video is basically a NoFap positivity video but it's become such a buzzword I became stubborn against it. I'm glad you were able to explain the thought process to me without using a single buzzword because now I understand and I agree with this. I will implement this to the best of my ability from now. Thanks Alex!
Posting this here because i know community feeds dont give you notifications for new posts. Hey Alexander. I absolutely love your content. Your videos are so genuine and natural. I think your topucs lately have been spot on and they happen to hit exactly the kinds of things that nobody else seems to want to talk about. Your awareness for topics and real discussion is an excellent quality of yours. Something that I recently find myself dealing with these days is energy vampires and walking away from a conversation feeling drained and negative where as before I went in to the conversation I was happy and my life was in a positive light due to working hard on myself (the person in question is a girl I broke up with a couple months ago) Just wondering if you might consider doing a video topic on this. I would love to hear input from you as you really know how to break things down in to a basic format that is easy to understand. Keep up the amazing work regardless.
Not only that, women are also a product of this strategy, just have a look on everyday instagram accounts. But god forbids if this leads to us (sub)consiously objectifying.
💯 that's why spirituality and energy healing has a lot more to offer me. I don't feel I need external male approval after healing a lot of insecurity and societal and ancestral programming. I just want to make decent friends
Yup and this is why in my MBA, one of my marketing course was on evolutionary biology! because it is deep rooted and folks cannot do a damn thing about it.
Girl: _"I think it depends on the person. Definitely ... Umm, I mean stereotypically men, but it's probably equal."_ Alex: _"As you just saw, women are extremely reluctant to admit they pay attention to physical looks."_ Uhh, gonna have to refute that, Alex, seems like she was reluctant to give any generalization at all.
I don't agree on most of the points. Seems to me like a pure mindset thing. I'm perfectly happy looking at a beautiful feminine figure that catches my eye. That alone is a gift to be grateful for. No reason to get depressed or needy. And after all, if one would deem her that desirable from a casual glance alone, there is always the option of approaching her. And then it either goes great or I can tick that chapter off. Win-win. And if I didn't approach her, then that tells me that she wasn't intriguing enough and thus certainly isn't worth fantasizing about or get hung up on. But yeah, wouldn't actively seek out images of females on insta & co. That seems like a huge waste of time. I can also relate to the reasoning that it might be a good idea to stop looking at girls if you know that you are (still) prone to spinning fantasies about random strangers or celebrities or whomever that you will most likely never even meet (again). Abundance is king. Most of all an abundant mindset. And the biggest thing that can help with a feeling of abundance is shifting the mind towards gratitude. Take nothing for granted, not even the simple things like sunshine, a glass of clean water, a satiable meal or the view of a pretty girl. Instead, direct active gratitude towards them. Welcome what's given to you for free and CREATE the things you desire, do not DEMAND them.
@Lee Dawson I do see, in fact I explicitly addressed it: "I can also relate to the reasoning that it might be a good idea to stop looking at girls if you know that you are (still) prone to spinning fantasies about random strangers or celebrities or whomever that you will most likely never even meet (again)." In this, my post recognizes how not "looking at women" can be an effective first step, but also explains that it is ultimately just a cheat that doesn't solve the problem at root. My intention with that being people becoming aware of this and going beyond this first step.
100% agree. Depends on one's mindset. If one has expectations I can see how looking could lead to disappointment (if not followed with action). But if one simply appreciates a glimpse of beauty for what it is, that doesn't have to be a problem. Is every wildflower something one feels compelled to rip out of the ground and put it in a pot? Or to eat it? Maybe some people do, I don't. False expectations and fantasies and an agenda to use the person to fulfill one's own desires is something many of both genders are guilty of... No expectations, no disappointment. It is probably worth experimenting for a time to see how following his advice affects you. But for me, a beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, and I don't feel entitled to anything more than the sight of her just because she isn't wearing a burkha. I can enjoy what is, without projecting what isn't. BTW, experiments have established that gazes lingering longer than two seconds tend to make women uncomfortable, at least in our culture and in most. Observe how long a second really is - "one and two and" and stay within that. The difference between staring and glancing. So if you do look, be discreet. Of course, no guarantees on reactions these days. Cultures where normal includes periodic nudity, such as those with public baths, or where a stream is the bath, and those where nudity is the norm, may tolerate longer looks. And that may be taken as interest. Years ago, I read an article about a research group studying a remote tribe in the Amazon, among whom nudity was normal. It's hot there. The researchers probably looked. At least some of the local women were intrigued by these covered strange guys. At least one of the ladies approached, and through the interpreter, said she would like to give him a go at mating. And there, the article left off the story. The researchers noticed the prettiest women were often passed over for long term relationships. They asked the men if their culture considered them less attractive. The men laughed and said Oh no, we know they look good, and THEY know they look good, and they're a pain to live with. And too proud to do anything. So we go for the women willing to work and do their part. Get a woman who is strong, willing and able to carry firewood, and your life will be better. Interesting perspective I thought. Doesn't always work that way though. Learn any woman you're considering for LTR well.
This message counts even more for attractive men as flirting only makes the feeling of missing out (the deficit as Alexander describes it) greater. Another risk is you start getting hooked on the attention which will, unless you are an absolute 'chad', increase the frustration even more, whereas women can compensate the 'deficit' more easily by hooking up.
They Hook and they'll hit the wall later because they become addicted to sex with multiple men, getting pregnant eventually and they can't find a good partner.
Not all people will behave that way. Some of us have trauma around men and would rather stay away until there's a guarantee we won't be abused. I don't know how to hook up, it would make me have a mental breakdown if it wasn't a genuine relationship
One thing I really like about this channel is the fact that your advice is meant to make us better men and improve our ourselves so could better adapt and handle hypergamy. So even if females may be stuck in hyper hypergamy rather than also being more reasonable it ultimately won't matter. Much respect to the women but we as men still need to be able to navigate the high seas of hypergamy and life. If we can do that we place ourselves in a better position to have not only more female variety but also ones of high quality as well.
This is something I always thought but didn't implemented. I always felt like doing this would make you more disciplined and in control and that not looking women anywhere than deeply in their eyes would even transmit more confidence and dominance than let yourself thirstily gaze around all their body. And even if such thing don't increase your attractiveness in this way, it's still a win for, as you say, not torturing yourself over something you'll never have anyway... you just give them ego boost and get depressed in return. A guy in an old blog (now deleted) about masculinity that I used to read said that men should be indifferent to women's looks in regards of how you treat and interacts with them (of couser if she is fully naked on your bed you shouldn't be indifferent). It's a freeing thing that makes you feel more in control, strong, disciplined and less thirsty.
He's speaking about righteousness. This is frame. Imagine being in the skin of someone who wasn't apologising for looking, and handling the 'looking at the girl' with respect, like you had every right to do so and unapologetically. Be righteous about it, not creepy. This demands a man consider the frame and mindset one carries (INDEPENDENT OF THE MOMENT OF LOOKING AT THE GIRL), to imagine and carry that frame into the moment of looking. You can't solve a problem at the level of the problem. Thus, you can't solve your frame issue at the level of the issue (only considering the moments you are looking).
Agreed. Once each of us work on our own character flaws and traits, or does some inner healing, our energy shifts. I used to stare at attractive men and feel really sad afterwards because I knew I couldn't have them as a partner. Thankfully I've been able to heal some insecurity and just am not bothering with people except trying to be kind and see them as souls on a difficult journey on this planet, especially with all the lies and bs going on now.
You kinda miss the point regarding men vs women looking at women. If a man looks at a woman it is considered an assault, perving, an act of aggression, an invasion, blah, blah, blah. If a woman looks at another woman it is not a threat, if anything it is welcome. It is a non-threatening affirmation. I've even seen women touch other women's butts and breasts and there is no problem - most women are bi anyway - if a man did that, again he is a threat, it is an assault.
This is the first channel of this nature I feel like I understand what the person in the video is saying. No surprise, but it seems like I've been doing most of my life completely ass backwards. I'm 36, never had a girlfriend, couple of flings where two low quality people hook up few times and couple professional hookups when loneliness became too much. On an intellectual level I understand it's never too late to get my life in some kind of order but in moments of clarity the road seems so long and there's so much to do.
I withdrew heavily from the whole scene in 2008, seeing it was turning toxic in many many ways. I was very patient for a long time until I found a rational, sane woman who was smart and not buying into the bullshit, and we've been happily married now for eight years. She was an old school feminist who now will not use the term because she has seen that "feminism" today is just complete insane horse crap for the most part. In her words, "when I was a feminist back in the day, it was totally normal to be one and yet like and respect decent/rational men."
I think this is also very useful advice for women. So many friends of mine talk about all the pretty boys they saw. The next sentence is mostly "but he will never notice me, I will never have a boyfriend like him blablabla". They would be so much happier if they just didn't desire every moderately good-looking guy they see. (Before someone asks: I am not including myself because I have a boyfriend and, therefore, don't desire other boys)
Another masterpiece! In all my years in self improvement, MTGTOW, and PUA studies I have never seen a video or reading material literally describe my experience like this video. The part of the video at the end that states to APPROACH women best explains the importance of the 3 second rule. -I’m floored!
I have stopped looking at women for some time now and guess what: they are the ones who are looking. Not for any other reason but because they find it very weird- i am guessing- after all this cosmical and macrocosmic sized amount of attention they are getting nowadays.
I notice this most of the time especially when I join a running group. When I look at pretty girls showing a lot of skin, I feel tired more quickly because of this negative effect after not having what my body desire. So, I abstain from looking and I feel like saving energy.
Noticed the same thing too, at the gym when I'm training b and I see a beautiful girl my heart rate goes up 10 beats without me realising until I feel fatigue, once I focus on my training my HR normalizes and I can continue as normal.. women take up too much energy
This is why I quit going to the lake, or the river or pool in the summer years ago. And why I avoid places and activities where the gals are showing their legs. It's painful window shopping and knowing that you don't have the sexual credit to purchase any of the merchandise.
@@victoriannecastle fam, I am currently going thorugh that process now, finish my degree last year, moved out and literally focusing as much of my energy this year into self actualizing
@@jamesowen4938 I totally understand, I put myself out there as much as you did, and same result idk why this happens I just want to get laid for once ugh.
The Best advice I have received in years. All this while I was advised its not polite to look? Ru kidding me. You're advise makes perfect sense. Every time I looked and didn't go speak to that woman I felt horrible. The feeling of never even having a chance was depressing. But I have continued to do it regardless, till today, not knowing it was affecting me that much. After watching this video, I have unfollowed all the influencers and female celebs on IG. Playing this game with no end result was soo obvious. But nobody talk about this stuff!!! Thanks again.
I’m not attracted to women. It does confuse them the way I interact with them they know I haven’t the least bit of interest in them. I can tell it gets to their head
The founders of OK Cupid released their analytics a few years back. When it came to attractiveness, men rated women on an almost perfect bell curve. Women rated men so harshly that only 1 in 6 men was considered above average in looks.
Yes, women rated 80% of all men as unattractive. Here's another fun fact. Tinder is 70% men and only 30% women. Men swipe right 50% of the time. Women swipe right only 14% of the time.
Women have already enough Attention for free they even assume that men are going to look at her. I was ignoring women on the street. One said to the other he doesn't look at us, the other women said he thinks we women have already enough Attention and that is exactly what i was thinking she read my mind
Alexander Grace really has this aspect of being reasonable and accurately analytical about something in one moment and spewing complete horseshit the very next moment. He is like the middle part of a very problematic and dangerous rabbit hole.
I don't feel frustrated when I see a hot woman, I feel frustrated when I see a hot woman with a guy. I've always ignored women though. What's the point looking if you aren't making a move? I don't know if it affects them, as I'm not looking in the first place to notice their reaction.
10:15 I feel attacked 😔 Time to cut out another bad depressing habit No more following hot girls on Instagram that I don’t know. At least I’m gonna unfollow most. Because Instagram always has them on the explore page 😒
Ok I’m convinced RUclips and the internet is reading my mind. Crazy how I get recommended this video just over a hour ago leaving my women and the skin excitement he mentions was on my mind
At the time of writing this, this video is unlisted. I had to take it down from being public. This is why:
I upload my videos to RUclips 3 days in advance so that I can see if they will be monetized or not and request a review or make some changes/mute some words etc. I don't mind this so much because at least I can work out issues before the video is made public.
This video WAS monetized but 10 minutes after release it was suddenly demonetized. It really sucks because views on this video were EXPLODING. I have taken it down temporarily and asked for a review. I'm sure you'll agree, nothing in this video is hateful or obscene so there is no reason for this to be demonetized.
Sorry for the inconvenience. I will make the video public again ASAP. It is issues like this that make me diversify income with things like sponsorships, consultations and Patreon.
It's alright Alex, you're not alone in this. ✊
“When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say.”
George R.R. Martin
Thanks boys. Made it public again.
This is one of your best videos yet, truly liberating
We live in the dark ages of censorship. Things will improve hang in there y'all
I've been saying this for ages. Why give a woman a free ego boost when you are getting absolutely nothing in return?
Absolutely!
THIS.
This is such a perfect way of putting it
Exactly
Umm you have an endless supply of looks. You lose nothing.
Ignoring women is like a testosterone boost for me, cuz i feel like i own the moment and not her!! It affects them and that's what you want!!
I feel that bro
@thekin09 Now a days, you can get in deep trouble, bro!! Be care full!
ooo...is that so? as insecure men.. i felt attractive women always wants men to watch her..to ignore is to have your eyes skewed.. but i never thought ignoring makes them felt miserable...i will definitely be aware and try to ignore them after this.
@@neo_7864 it's very important that your decision to ignore attractive women should be motivated by the right reasons. If you do it for the sole purpose of retaliation/revenge (for getting burnt by the women in your past ) or with an intention to make them miserable ,then you're doing it for the WRONG REASONS. You have to change your mindset and do it for yourself, In order to make yourself a better man . Re-watch this video as to how it makes you a stronger version of you.
@@brandonpinto5290 thanks for the reminder. True, indeed wrong intention always end up with eating you back up or cant benefit you. Always do it for betterment of yourself ie self-care.
"Just stop looking at women"
*Every thumbnail is a woman*
What thumbnail?
Bro, half the nofap youtubers put womens bodies in there thumbnails.. I understand that increases views, but its ironic and kind of petty.
click bait lol. as they say sex (aka women) sells... unfortunately.
@@IamaNewCreature you and me are the only ones gettin the joke my guy
Haha yup!
My uncle always said “If you ain’t in business, don’t advertise”.
🤷🏼♂️
Well I guess they're in business, but got a very unique clientiele. Going to the hairdresser when you're bald is going to raise eyebrows after all. :D
@Bob Edysis Hypergamy in the process.
Some women try to get the attention of another women as well.
Thots don’t think… they feel
Agree! If you're not selling, don't advertise!
That axe in her head was unexpected, hehe.
Maybe that's why she had a hard time thinking about her answer.
She looked at some guy too much and he gave her the axe.
She disguised as a victim of Patriarchy
Unaxepected
@@manuelmanzanero5057 lmao
Handsome guy looks at a woman: “Don’t turn around. That hot guy is giving you the eyes Brenda!”
Ugly guy looks at a woman: “Uggh. That creep is checking you out Brenda!”
😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣... i find this both funny and insulting..
the classic double standard !
Brenda?
Ugly guy demonstrates wealth...Brenda reconsiders
I'm ugly and not all women act that way most will talk to me smile and just have a nice casual conversation with me , I work in a mall so I see and talk to a lot of nice them, if a women doesn't talk to me that's cool and just move on.
I grew up thinking I wasn't attractive. So I went "monk mode" emotionally and mentally at a very early age. Truth is I wasn't bad looking, just low self esteem. And women absolutely flirted with/stalked me. And part of the reason, I have to believe, is my default mode of ignoring them. I also made only eye contact, and didn't care about them beyond them as an annoying talking person. Alex is correct. A woman that is used to being seen as attractive will flock to the very few men that don't stare at them. You are different. You are above the rest. A woman only wants the man that isn't looking at her.
Yeah they will flock to the average looking men who are ignoring them. But once these men give this attention they want, they will no longer be attractive to her.
Liar
Right ...If you look at her she invalidates you and if you don't look at her she feels invalidated...
@@strongholds12 ..Why he is a liar ? I don't see he is lying...
That would only work if you are attractive.
“Life is what you focus on” too true. Such a simple phrase but incredibly powerful. Where your attention goes will determine the life you experience.
That's why life's a b*tch for some of us i guess ;)
Called reticular activating system
Your focus is the only thing over which you have truly FREE WILL. Thoughts and sensations may arise on their own but it's your own free choice whether to pursue them or allow them to pass and fade into the void. This profound truth is something that Stoicism and Buddhism have been trying to teach us for millennia.
@@nhr_etc New age bs.
I think men care more about looks while women care more about image.
Image being the combination of looks, job, perceived social status, etc.
Spot on.
Facts they do
Okay this was absolutely accurate, damn.
Men care about :- looks .
Women care about :-
looks + job + social status .
Accurate
Men are going for looks, but stay for character
Women absolutely judge appearances of men. Hell , they judge other women and even compete against each other
I've even heard women admit wanting to touch other womens breasts, just to compare. I'm serious and didnt make this up. It's just cruel.
Anyway.. I'll look as much as I want, since I learned to decouple my actions from that, haha! I'm a god damn genius.
And they don't know why
It sucks to be born unattractive. But its ok. Instead i look at guys
@@xxxblackvenomxxx so they basically want to sexually harass another person just for comparison? Smh
@@evanescencelight6767 I think they don't consider it sexual.
This video is the perfect rationale to why watching porn is detrimental to men’s health.
True but once you're addicted which millions of men are, it's exceedingly difficult to abstain from it, it can be done but it's not easy in any way
Lidaa latap some may argue that staring is an addiction to looking. Honestly porn addiction shouldn’t even be regarded as an addiction as it cheapens serious addictions that your body seriously depends on like alcohol or psychedelic drugs. Porn doesn’t even require you to take anything it’s just mental and a shift in perspective that’s it. It is literally as small as looking away or stop looking.
So many thoughts are there hard to get the kind of woman you want these days looks and personality wise that’s why am addicted to porn because it satisfies the whole of my life that I can’t seem to find
@@cellyszn20 In general I agree with what you are saying here. However, I want to correct you that psychedelics as a drug type does not cause your body that serious addiction that alcohol or other drugs can.
@@cellyszn20 I think that's a sorta simplistic way of looking at things. this coming from a recovering alcoholic who watches too much porn. with that being said you aren't technically wrong.
dont look at a girl UNLESS you are actually going to approach her.
Bingo
yea that should be everyone´s mindset
Shopping for mental arousal from looking at hotties isn't always detrimental to your mental health. I find it enticing from time to time,unless I am invested in the woman.
Why
Right! Because if you don't look at her as you approach her you're liable to walk right into her.
In a way.. it feels liberating to not look at women around me.
Because i want to know myself.
Myself tells me I want to 👀
@@kratios3350 You are on the right path my son👍
You know if men didn't look at women they would most likely turn that into a sexest thing ..!
@@sholack2207 they have. I saw an article recently written by a MeToo fanatic, with the line "it's not enough to just not harrass us, you can't just ignore us either". Total entitlement complex, not sexist but ridiculous nonetheless.
It is liberating. I feel better already!
women: *wears low cut top and shorts*
also women: my eyes are up here!
Women try to make themselves attractive & when they attract they shun all men that are attracted to them except the men they like
Fr huh 😂 they wear ass tight leggings and get mad at u for starring even though they wore those because they wanted you to do that in the first place
This is why men go around being tense and nervous and feel guilt.
It is a very effective way to gain power. Dress up and wear makeup that looks like shes about to get an orgasm on your c..k and then force you to not look by the punishment of shaming.
This induce enormous cognitive dissonance in men causing insecurity.
In traditional civilizations we had modesty. It was for many good reasons.
@@erikkaareson6493
Are you saying that it should be illegal for women to wear bikinis and such? Also, if you're approaching this from an evolutionary perspective, it should be noted that no other living creatures wear clothes or believe in modesty.
NewToRUclips this reminds me of that video of that talk show host named Conan who had a guest wearing a tight dress with her breast out but expected Conan not to look saying “Eyes up here.” Then he called here out on it in a lighthearted and comical way. Women and their hypocrisy though..
Well I guess you had to... “Axe” her that question
Not sure how this doesn't have more likes. 10/10.
I love that one
I, literally, lol'd.
😳 Omg.. you're too funny. You should write for Jimmy Kimmel
boooo ...
take my thumbs up :P
Ugly is fertile too. I can tell. So much ugliness everywhere - must have come from somewhere.
LMFAO
Yes still fertile but much less
you can be blessed with good looks and still live i n an ugly way. to the base, all things are base
Hahahaahaha
Haha
i practiced this ignoring women when i was in school and it only serves to get you more attention from them, in my exp. its a good mindset
Seriously I realize when you dont pay attention or chase them they start noticing you and sometimes come to you. Thats the idea, it makes it easier chasing is pointless and waste of time
Never worked for me. Never really got approached lol
Only serves if you’re good looking, if you’re ugly or average and you do this,it’s over for you.
Local Teen Is Fed Up #MK That’s one reason I know I’m ugly 😂
You have to be compelling and have something going on for yourself. You're ignoring because you're busy and have more important things to do. Things that a girl or a woman might see as attractive or at least a net benefit to her. The act of ignoring as a strategy in and of itself is transparent and not effective. A comic afficiado who's ignoring a girl isn't generally as effective as a star quarterback ignoring the same girl, unless she's just really into comic enthusiasts. The truth is always more complex that just following some strategic rules. Ignoring a girl because you don't feel she's worth your time is a blow to her ego and she may attempt to rectify that by gaining your attention. Still, if that's the reason she's doing it, she's fake and still should be ignored.
Women: just stop looking at women
Men stop looking
Women: why aren't men looking at us?
They want the top 10% of guys to look but not the rest and this is even average women.
@@grayalun Yes and no. Though they want to settle with a top dude they rely on the attention of the rest for the ego and to see if they are still attractive. If all the ugly dudes didn't give a crap about a beautiful women she would lose faith in her own worth.
@Blacklivesmatter4lyf This is soooo underrated and so true
Men: Blow me then I’ll look at you
I like the 666 likes.
...And this is precisely what women thrive on and expect.
Explain
Explain
I watched this video yesterday evening and I tried it out.
This is kind of strangely amazing. When I started not looking at women I began to feel more in control and more confident. When I was getting to where I was going I would just look straight ahead and it felt like I was on a mission and I had all my focus. I felt this simply going to the dining hall on campus. My focus was not taken away by the attractiveness of women. it was like having ownership of my focus and not letting every girl with a nice ass have it. It’s nice to look but honestly this idea is freeing.
I’m gonna be trying this!
Great video Alex! Damn your good!
I have been implementing this for past 3 years and it’s sad that we have come to a state where individualism has corrupted the social interactions to a point where you feed a persons’s ego just by looking at them.
That's not individualism. That's the exact antithesis of the word. The very definition of individualism entails that you wouldn't need others' validation in the first place to "feed your ego." Food for thought.
Same. I can control myself better now in giving away my attention and I'm doing myself a favor actually.
@@azizmabrouk3555 we all need love. Individualism replaces love with ego. We need community, but Western culture (since the "Enlightenment") is to a large degree based on the idea that every man *is* an island.
@@gracefool Which is the case.
@@azizmabrouk3555 I don't think there are individualists (cannot be in society), they think they are individualists - ego.
*ShipperS7* summed it up very well.
For men in general , in your 20 s : ( 80% emotions 20 % logic )
In your 30s ( 50% emotions 50 % logic)
In your 40s ( finally emotions stand down at 20% and 80% logic ) - this spot is where magic starts to happen for most men ! And we seem to keep it up moving on forward as we age.
At 64 - 80% emotions, 20% logic!
I would say at 20 ( 80 [PHYSICAL] 20 logic)
Brad Roberts, It's probably the larger bulge of your wallet
When you were in your 20's , it was filled with free coupons. Hence the lack of nookie.😄
@@georgemichaels2325 Yup, and their drying up ovaries (if they are childless). I've had some overwiehgt woman flirt with me too, she was over 30 and childless, the desperations could be smelled for over a mile away.
@@kingartifex they most definitely are very desperate
Also, women looking is not perceived as dangerous.
@Don't worry About it there over 200,000 women in prison and there are over 2,000,000 million men in prison. Not exactly 95% but us men are more prone to commit crimes. Men are more prone to engage in risky behavior.
@Oftin Wong As they should?
@Don't worry About it Less testosterone.
@@phisaki not necessarily true, you have to remember men will serve longer sentences for the same crimes.
💯 - attacks, lewd comments, etc... Especially if the woman has had previously experienced that and still holds onto that trauma
When I'm out and about in public, I completely avoid looking at women
Sometimes I can tell from the corner of my eye that a woman is looking at me. Sometimes a friend will tell me that a woman was checking me out. Still, I don't look
I don't want to give my attention to a stranger who has not earned it or proven themselves to be trustworthy, and I don't want to undermine my lifestyle of celibacy. My peace of mind is worth too much
I need to get a darker pair of sunglasses.
yea good idea do that just until you learn to not look
I need to get A brown paper bag!
It's like seeing a different world when I'm wearing sunglasses, women tend to look at me more frequently because they assume I'm staring straight ahead and not at them
Some kind of aviators work very well. Or any reflective lens
@@TheRixtah1 they look at you because they feel your eyes burning into them,prey knows when they're being watched their predator.
Women flock to you when you appear inward-looking and contemplative. They want to know what is so alluring about your mind that it draws your attention. In particular, the fact that it draws your attention away from them.
They know the power their looks have on men, and they feel helpless seeing that power having no effect. Their nature makes them perceive it as an affront. A withholding of the attention they are owed and accustomed to.
I have GOT to try this sometime.
Well said
You should write books
I agree, but you shouldn't stop looking at women purely because you think that will make you more attractive to women. Do it for you and your own self-improvement
@@acrez3260 This is true. I began doing it for the wrong reasons, but the improvement came nonetheless.
I’m not saying the ends justify the means, but I am glad I began to do this, whatever my reasons may have been in the beginning.
I learned to stop looking at women/girls in 1983, when I was a sophomore in highschool. I had to, in order to avoid fights with angry bullfriends, and to avoid the looks of disgust and revulsion from the girls themselves.
After highschool, I stopped looking at women for the reasons discussed in this video. Being unable to have what I was continually seeing was extremely painful and destructive to my mental health, happiness and contentment.
I think it's the same for some women too. It is for me sometimes if I feel a connection with a man that's not just physical, but energetic.
I hope you now have (or will have) a lovely partner to help you grow spiritually and on all levels... As well as the regular stuff.
Relationships can be so difficult to come by sometimes (still single due to being quite different)
I found if a girl 'caught' me looking at her, it was automatically I like her 🤷♂️I was just being me and I look at whatever/whichever to assess my surroundings like everyone with eyes does. I was basically taught not to look at women 🤷♂️ because some of them are so egotistical that they think you are checking them out.
But man, the 80s were definitely different times than the ones now man. I hear from both my parents that the 70s and 80s were very beautiful times. Music, kids being kids, school and just people being chill, sure their were bullies and stuff but the Era looks so cool, wish I was born during those times
@@tylerallen8753 I seen this myself I be looking everywhere and I seen a chick like act like she fixing her hair like I was all in her face that really blew me cause I was just checking my surroundings
Most blokes have to pay for it.
bro. i'm going to the gym for the last few years, and I'm gradually looking less and less at the girls, what i notice is the more i dont look at them the more they look at me. they probly are like "Why the hell that guy not looking at me, i'm half naked right here doing my wierd exercise and he just walking around like i'm not existing." love it !
How do you know they’re looking at you if you’re not looking at them? Sounds made up.
I realised no woman ever turns her head after passing a good looking guy. But guys almost break their necks each day. This to me reflects womens sense of higher value to men. If she turns she fears to reflect desperation and she also feels she is the bigger catch so she won't turn. Men, we turn a whole lot. At some point i asked myself why i do it cz it never amounts to anything rlly meaningful but a spoiled moment were i clda just been happy goin my way wout any unyeilding distraction.
Stop being weak and giving into your temptations, yeah its hard believe me but you can train your brain not to lust after every attractive women you see, giving up porn is a good start..
Lamb Stu
Yea porn and nudes I will no longer accept nudes of women it’s making their bodies played out in a way and I want to be attracted completely during every encounter
There are more good looking women than men and women can be "deconstructed". Maybe she's skinny without curves but have a beautiful face, or she has a curvy body and an average face, or she have sexy legs, eyes, hair, etc.
Guys are more plain in looks, is face, body or both and that's it.
There could be a lot of reasons to that tbh, not just because all women thing they're higher than you.
Also, we were busy thinking ten other thoughts. I'm female and I'll be thinking about the crappy behaviour of five people I met that day or about how I need to do another ten things, or how I'm still unemployed or have no friends.... So passing an attractive man is just another thing that happened that day. The likelihood of my dating that guy is minuscule so why give my power away to another stranger?
Also, some women have some serious trauma from men. That's where I am right now. I've have horrible experiences with unintelligent, emotionally traumatised and narcissistic men and women and I'm fed up of everyone now as I don't meet people from my soul tribe. So I've given up!!
Thank you, AG. Great video. There is a distinction to be made here between noticing and looking. Noticing is natural while looking is covetous and comes from a mentality of scarcity. If you pass a store window advertising things you want but know you can’t afford, do you stop and stare longingly then feel defeated because you don’t believe you will ever be able to afford those things, or are you merely aware the store is there but keep walking by because you are already dedicated to doing the work it will take to get yourself into a position where you can afford those things and better, and you no longer have time to stop and stare ?
Self-improvement is the key here. If you notice the beautiful Women all around you but you feel defeated looking because your perception of yourself creates a lack of confidence, then, if you mean to change that, self-improvement is the way to acquire much of that confidence. The beauty of self-improvement is that, whether or not it results in increased success in partnering, it is best for you and your life to always be looking for ways to improve yourself - complacency is both a relationship and personal cancer. Improving yourself is the best way to become the target audience for quality Women - they will notice and I suspect they will begin to tailor their advertisement and put themselves where you will be looking, but even if they don’t, then you are still better for it in the confidence you have acquired through self-improvement. You can set the terms, you have manifested an abundance of choice, you have become the decider.
Looking forward to your next.
I'm a single man in my late fifties; I've always enjoyed seeing attractive girls as do most fellahs. Nothing unusual about that. However in recent years I learned not to expend too much effort looking at such girls specifically because of whtt this guy said. Why torture myself? A casual passing glance is quite sufficient. There's no mystery for me under her clothes so what's the point of looking any further as if I've any right whatsoever to be wondering about such things? The 'pile of cash' analogy is very good.
It's learning visual discipline looking a head of you. The more you ignore the more they chase you. Just focus on yourself.
I tried this once on a Saturday walking around a food festival. I ignored women left, right and center and the result was horrific, these women would start stepping in my path or blatantly walk across in front of me as if on cue. Luckily I could sense this and take evasive action to avoid collisions, in the end I ghosted, wtf is wrong with women these days?...
@@stoatrepublic Because they crave for validation and attention. When women don't get that attention it drive them crazy you aren't fueling their childish egos. Trust me it is hard to do sometimes but it take time build the habit of not looking at every women that comes your way. I'm currently practicing stoicism, visual discipline, and internal discipline of mind.
@@stoatrepublic probably because you are a tall white man
@@gabrielguzman6018 Things haven't got any better, can't even go to the supermarket without getting objectified and followed. Even up on the allotment my neighbor keeps biting her lip, plays with her hair, bends over letting her tits fall out while standing there talking to me. Even tried to get me in her shed after knocking everything down and getting trapped, luckily I met her husband in car park when I was going home...
@@stoatrepublic that's a good thing
Video gamers know this, for we know that pleasures of the eyes may be temporary but Doom is Eternal!
YEET
Wow a doom reference in this comment section, I love the internet and how unpredictable it can be.
Stop watching pron my fellow Slayers. We must Rip and Tear!
@George Bush George Bush,want to smoke Alabama Kush with me?
And Halo is Infinite
Wow, that analogy about the money of the street was so spot on. If I am at a bar or the beach or something, and all I do is steal glances at beautiful women, my mood gets worse and worse, even though I was happy when I got there. Brilliant stuff here Alexander
Can you explain that? I'm just curious why it's sadness you feel? I mean is it because you are board with your wife/girlfriend? Or does it happen when single too?
This is why I don’t like strip clubs. Blowing money on blue balls leaves me with insane guilt the next few days.
And supposedly YOU are taking advantage of the women at these clubs. lol
EmotionAware the irony can make a man explode. Sometimes I wish I was ignorant because the anger fucks me up during the day.
Underrated as one of this most essential videos for all men need to watch. Seriously, believe it or not.
The women won't be pleased they aren't getting free attention anymore!
On the contrary, they'll be relieved they're not getting creeped on by pervs!
@@flamer9783 simpanzee detected
at least they will be prepared for the wall
@@flamer9783 true as hell actually.. All a woman has to do is approach a guy she actually wants attention from, and she will get what she wants a decent amount of the time.. No woman wants an ugly guy their dm's
It really depends on the women. I think as women get older we tend to think looks go from "he's checking me out" to "is he going to rob me"
Got out of the dating game a couple of years ago, unscathed thankfully, and my life has never been simpler or more peaceful. Modern western women are just too dangerous/risky.
"Not tonight dear, I have an axe in my head."
Splitting headache 🤕
Hahahaha 😂
...Sure, the point is quite clear, but how can I not look when a hatchet is buried in her head?
😂
They literally “axed” that woman a question.
Lol
Anyone reading this that wants to quit porn, please stop staring at women ! What Alexander says is incredibly valuable and the necessary step in trying to stop the watching of pornography.
Everytime you oogle basically, at women, you're body really does get that dopamine response. You can literally FEEL it, you don't need some scientific journal to tell you that.
I'll try out the motto "don't look unless you're going to interact with them"
I agree with this one. Just today I had three men stare at me until I became so uncomfortable and we literally were just passing each other on the street as one does. No one smiled or spoke to me. My personal and energetic boundaries were therefore violated. Earlier on I spoke to a man from my Pilates class and he wasn't attracted to me so we had a decent conversation about exercise and the gym. That was the most functional conversation I've had with a man in some time lol
@@skyejacques It's been a year since this and I can say that I have looked at women. But FAR from staring, I could never stare. The thing is, I get looked at as well and it doesn't bother me, also it's hard not to look at others from time to time. And with our recent lockdowns, I'm noticing more and more girls looking whenever I'm out
It bothers me that I can't tell if the railing behind you has a vertical board in the middle.
lol Your comment got me wondering, so I went to skim through one of his other videos. I think this one shows that it doesn't. You can see enough to see there's nothing in the middle.
ruclips.net/video/NToqAl_TZlo/видео.html
Lenio Barcelos some people wonder. Some people learn 😆
They are steel wires my friend.
@My Name is Nobody Ok Mr. Nobody.
*Goes five minutes without looking at women*
"So, is there a vertical board on that railing, or what?"
I noticed that looking at women in public could some times have a negative effect on my mood. I stopped doing it and I felt better. Keeps me focused.
So this is why I always get episodes of depression when I go on holidays...
Man: Looks forward in a crowd
That one woman in the middle of the crowd: Is that a personal attack?
That random axe 🪓 put me off lol 😂
At first I thought Alexander put it there to show how stupid she is. (with editing) And I'm thinking: "But is she stupid? And even if, is it fair to make fun of her?"
Then I realized it would be out of Alexander's character to do it.
Then I noticed it looked to real.
That axe confused the hell out of me😂😂
I wonder if she knew that axe was there...
@@johnsketcher2222 Nah she thinks its hair gel.
The 20 a day voice put me off.
This is why men go around being tense and nervous and feel guilt.
It is a very effective way to gain power. Dress up and wear makeup that looks like shes about to get an orgasm on your c..k and then force you to not look by the punishment of shaming.
This induce enormous cognitive dissonance in men causing insecurity.
In traditional civilizations we had modesty. It was for many good reasons.
I can confirm this. For years that cognitive dissonance plagued me all throughout middle school, high school and college. I felt I was a bad for being sexually attracted to women...I sometimes I still feel that guilt.
As a woman I approve! I don't show a lot of skin, I'm kind and welcoming with people in general, it happens that guys become creepy with me and look at me head to toe in a needy way... That just wanna make me run for the hills haha. Also I don't like neither when I'm knowing a guy and he just look at every bimbo passing by. You look needy and in lack of self control. I never do that type of things with or without man since I respect my man. Women can be creepy too. Looking to somebody you don't know like a creep is a lack of decency and education and self-awareness.
Woman: “It is probably equal”
Alex: “As you just saw women are reluctant to admit it.”
She WAS obviously very reluctant to just come out and say it. A man would have unhesitatingly replied, "Of COURSE!"
@@alexmuenster2102
him: "Who cares more about looks, men or women?"
you: "OF COURSE!"
This same logic applies when going to watch porn.
Women say that they don't watch porn. A few women watch porn....most of them read it.
@@Thomas116-m2n women mostly see lesbian porn so... that's that.
absolutely true. I force myself not to look sometimes because of the sadness and frustration I feel after looking at someone I want and can't have
It would be much easier if they weren't everywhere
Dave facts
Preach
@George Bush Not really an issue these days. Thanks to Covid, I don't see anyone and I feel much happier. I hope it never ends.
True
Puppy dogs are also everywhere.
🤔
There's a huge difference between lusting after something/someone, and just enjoying how something looks... I don't want to OWN every person I find attractive. u_u I have no feelings of loss or sadness, when I can't own all the girls in a Playboy, because I had no desire to own them.
Exactly
Rationally true, but functionally not true. The video explained just that.
Lol so you buy playboy magazines just to "admire them desirelessly"?
This is so cool! I've been doing what you advise here my whole adult life. And it's all true. Never gave it a lot of tought, but yeah, looking at sexy women is just torturing yourself unless you are able and decided to approach.
This brings up a question I've always wanted to know the answer to: what happens to a person's mind when they're being constantly stimulated sexually? I feel like when out in public, we're bombarded with sexually provocative triggers, from advertising, the clothing women are wearing casually, everything. I can't imagine having the sexual part of your mind/body activated all the time being healthy in any way, shape or form in the long term.
Alexander, your videos are extremely helpful. I feel most men are lost and need a mentor to guide them. You do a very good job helping us becoming a better man. At the end of the day it all comes down to being a better person in every was possible then by law of attraction you will eventually find a high quality woman. Stay masculine, find your purpose and you will be different from 95% of people.👌🏼
The thing is... what gets me 100x more than any sexual fantasy is seeing cute couples having fun together while I'm walking down the street. I should feel happy for em but all I feel is jealousy and inadequacy and I hate that. I need to fix it...
I'm glad this was discussed. I never understood why other men spend so much time looking at women on instagram or have posters on their walls of bikini models. I don't understand having celebrity crushes. I know a couple dudes who can recall every film their celebrity crush has been in. It just seems like torture. Why go through all that trouble pining over something you can't have?
I realize this video is basically a NoFap positivity video but it's become such a buzzword I became stubborn against it. I'm glad you were able to explain the thought process to me without using a single buzzword because now I understand and I agree with this. I will implement this to the best of my ability from now. Thanks Alex!
Posting this here because i know community feeds dont give you notifications for new posts.
Hey Alexander. I absolutely love your content. Your videos are so genuine and natural. I think your topucs lately have been spot on and they happen to hit exactly the kinds of things that nobody else seems to want to talk about. Your awareness for topics and real discussion is an excellent quality of yours.
Something that I recently find myself dealing with these days is energy vampires and walking away from a conversation feeling drained and negative where as before I went in to the conversation I was happy and my life was in a positive light due to working hard on myself (the person in question is a girl I broke up with a couple months ago)
Just wondering if you might consider doing a video topic on this. I would love to hear input from you as you really know how to break things down in to a basic format that is easy to understand.
Keep up the amazing work regardless.
modern consumer society is based on exploiting this urge
Not only that, women are also a product of this strategy, just have a look on everyday instagram accounts.
But god forbids if this leads to us (sub)consiously objectifying.
💯 that's why spirituality and energy healing has a lot more to offer me. I don't feel I need external male approval after healing a lot of insecurity and societal and ancestral programming. I just want to make decent friends
It most certainly is. All the more reason to resist.
Yup and this is why in my MBA, one of my marketing course was on evolutionary biology! because it is deep rooted and folks cannot do a damn thing about it.
Girl: _"I think it depends on the person. Definitely ... Umm, I mean stereotypically men, but it's probably equal."_
Alex: _"As you just saw, women are extremely reluctant to admit they pay attention to physical looks."_
Uhh, gonna have to refute that, Alex, seems like she was reluctant to give any generalization at all.
I’m only bad about this at the gym. I need blinders
I don't agree on most of the points. Seems to me like a pure mindset thing. I'm perfectly happy looking at a beautiful feminine figure that catches my eye. That alone is a gift to be grateful for. No reason to get depressed or needy. And after all, if one would deem her that desirable from a casual glance alone, there is always the option of approaching her. And then it either goes great or I can tick that chapter off. Win-win. And if I didn't approach her, then that tells me that she wasn't intriguing enough and thus certainly isn't worth fantasizing about or get hung up on. But yeah, wouldn't actively seek out images of females on insta & co. That seems like a huge waste of time. I can also relate to the reasoning that it might be a good idea to stop looking at girls if you know that you are (still) prone to spinning fantasies about random strangers or celebrities or whomever that you will most likely never even meet (again). Abundance is king. Most of all an abundant mindset. And the biggest thing that can help with a feeling of abundance is shifting the mind towards gratitude. Take nothing for granted, not even the simple things like sunshine, a glass of clean water, a satiable meal or the view of a pretty girl. Instead, direct active gratitude towards them. Welcome what's given to you for free and CREATE the things you desire, do not DEMAND them.
Well said!
@Lee Dawson I do see, in fact I explicitly addressed it:
"I can also relate to the reasoning that it might be a good idea to stop looking at girls if you know that you are (still) prone to spinning fantasies about random strangers or celebrities or whomever that you will most likely never even meet (again)."
In this, my post recognizes how not "looking at women" can be an effective first step, but also explains that it is ultimately just a cheat that doesn't solve the problem at root. My intention with that being people becoming aware of this and going beyond this first step.
100% agree.
Depends on one's mindset. If one has expectations I can see how looking could lead to disappointment (if not followed with action). But if one simply appreciates a glimpse of beauty for what it is, that doesn't have to be a problem.
Is every wildflower something one feels compelled to rip out of the ground and put it in a pot? Or to eat it? Maybe some people do, I don't.
False expectations and fantasies and an agenda to use the person to fulfill one's own desires is something many of both genders are guilty of...
No expectations, no disappointment.
It is probably worth experimenting for a time to see how following his advice affects you. But for me, a beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, and I don't feel entitled to anything more than the sight of her just because she isn't wearing a burkha.
I can enjoy what is, without projecting what isn't.
BTW, experiments have established that gazes lingering longer than two seconds tend to make women uncomfortable, at least in our culture and in most. Observe how long a second really is - "one and two and" and stay within that. The difference between staring and glancing. So if you do look, be discreet. Of course, no guarantees on reactions these days.
Cultures where normal includes periodic nudity, such as those with public baths, or where a stream is the bath, and those where nudity is the norm, may tolerate longer looks. And that may be taken as interest. Years ago, I read an article about a research group studying a remote tribe in the Amazon, among whom nudity was normal. It's hot there. The researchers probably looked. At least some of the local women were intrigued by these covered strange guys. At least one of the ladies approached, and through the interpreter, said she would like to give him a go at mating. And there, the article left off the story.
The researchers noticed the prettiest women were often passed over for long term relationships. They asked the men if their culture considered them less attractive. The men laughed and said Oh no, we know they look good, and THEY know they look good, and they're a pain to live with. And too proud to do anything. So we go for the women willing to work and do their part. Get a woman who is strong, willing and able to carry firewood, and your life will be better.
Interesting perspective I thought. Doesn't always work that way though. Learn any woman you're considering for LTR well.
@@jacobusderottmann1000 Love your additions! You get it. All the best & cheers ~Max
@@jacobusderottmann1000 that was a brilliant read!
I'm a woman but I love watching your content.
Weird
This message counts even more for attractive men as flirting only makes the feeling of missing out (the deficit as Alexander describes it) greater. Another risk is you start getting hooked on the attention which will, unless you are an absolute 'chad', increase the frustration even more, whereas women can compensate the 'deficit' more easily by hooking up.
They Hook and they'll hit the wall later because they become addicted to sex with multiple men, getting pregnant eventually and they can't find a good partner.
What do you mean by this in simple terms ?
Not all people will behave that way. Some of us have trauma around men and would rather stay away until there's a guarantee we won't be abused.
I don't know how to hook up, it would make me have a mental breakdown if it wasn't a genuine relationship
Oh my god I thought I was the only one who felt like this. Thank you Alexander this video helped a lot.
great message bro that reality Some Men needs to know
Sherwin Edwin most men! It’s hard not to look but it’s healthy and can be done
One thing I really like about this channel is the fact that your advice is meant to make us better men and improve our ourselves so could better adapt and handle hypergamy. So even if females may be stuck in hyper hypergamy rather than also being more reasonable it ultimately won't matter. Much respect to the women but we as men still need to be able to navigate the high seas of hypergamy and life. If we can do that we place ourselves in a better position to have not only more female variety but also ones of high quality as well.
Alexander Grace: Just stop looking at women
Me: Okay (closes eyes)
Every Street lamp: "Chuckles" I'm in danger.
more like
Every Street lamp: "I pity the fool"
This is something I always thought but didn't implemented. I always felt like doing this would make you more disciplined and in control and that not looking women anywhere than deeply in their eyes would even transmit more confidence and dominance than let yourself thirstily gaze around all their body.
And even if such thing don't increase your attractiveness in this way, it's still a win for, as you say, not torturing yourself over something you'll never have anyway... you just give them ego boost and get depressed in return.
A guy in an old blog (now deleted) about masculinity that I used to read said that men should be indifferent to women's looks in regards of how you treat and interacts with them (of couser if she is fully naked on your bed you shouldn't be indifferent). It's a freeing thing that makes you feel more in control, strong, disciplined and less thirsty.
Proverbs 13:12
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”
A woman that knows and submits herself to Scripture is the most attractive woman on the planet.
@George Bush ya, those kind of women are unicorns.
He's speaking about righteousness. This is frame. Imagine being in the skin of someone who wasn't apologising for looking, and handling the 'looking at the girl' with respect, like you had every right to do so and unapologetically. Be righteous about it, not creepy. This demands a man consider the frame and mindset one carries (INDEPENDENT OF THE MOMENT OF LOOKING AT THE GIRL), to imagine and carry that frame into the moment of looking. You can't solve a problem at the level of the problem. Thus, you can't solve your frame issue at the level of the issue (only considering the moments you are looking).
Well said.
Agreed. Once each of us work on our own character flaws and traits, or does some inner healing, our energy shifts. I used to stare at attractive men and feel really sad afterwards because I knew I couldn't have them as a partner. Thankfully I've been able to heal some insecurity and just am not bothering with people except trying to be kind and see them as souls on a difficult journey on this planet, especially with all the lies and bs going on now.
You kinda miss the point regarding men vs women looking at women. If a man looks at a woman it is considered an assault, perving, an act of aggression, an invasion, blah, blah, blah. If a woman looks at another woman it is not a threat, if anything it is welcome. It is a non-threatening affirmation. I've even seen women touch other women's butts and breasts and there is no problem - most women are bi anyway - if a man did that, again he is a threat, it is an assault.
If you don't notice them deliberately then you're saying, "You're not all that".
They all look the same upside down.
This makes sense. I'm going to try to stop looking at women in public now. I feel like this can be beneficial for multiple reasons
She seems like the type that would be nothing but a headache. Gonna look the other way now.
This is the first channel of this nature I feel like I understand what the person in the video is saying. No surprise, but it seems like I've been doing most of my life completely ass backwards. I'm 36, never had a girlfriend, couple of flings where two low quality people hook up few times and couple professional hookups when loneliness became too much.
On an intellectual level I understand it's never too late to get my life in some kind of order but in moments of clarity the road seems so long and there's so much to do.
I withdrew heavily from the whole scene in 2008, seeing it was turning toxic in many many ways. I was very patient for a long time until I found a rational, sane woman who was smart and not buying into the bullshit, and we've been happily married now for eight years. She was an old school feminist who now will not use the term because she has seen that "feminism" today is just complete insane horse crap for the most part. In her words, "when I was a feminist back in the day, it was totally normal to be one and yet like and respect decent/rational men."
I think this is also very useful advice for women. So many friends of mine talk about all the pretty boys they saw. The next sentence is mostly "but he will never notice me, I will never have a boyfriend like him blablabla". They would be so much happier if they just didn't desire every moderately good-looking guy they see. (Before someone asks: I am not including myself because I have a boyfriend and, therefore, don't desire other boys)
Another masterpiece! In all my years in self improvement, MTGTOW, and PUA studies I have never seen a video or reading material literally describe my experience like this video. The part of the video at the end that states to APPROACH women best explains the importance of the 3 second rule. -I’m floored!
I have stopped looking at women for some time now and guess what: they are the ones who are looking.
Not for any other reason but because they find it very weird- i am guessing- after all this cosmical and macrocosmic sized amount of attention they are getting nowadays.
I'm already in the process of doing this.
Looking at them does absolutely nothing for me but throw me off my center.
Yes. This video confirms what I had thought for years.
I notice this most of the time especially when I join a running group. When I look at pretty girls showing a lot of skin, I feel tired more quickly because of this negative effect after not having what my body desire. So, I abstain from looking and I feel like saving energy.
Noticed the same thing too, at the gym when I'm training b and I see a beautiful girl my heart rate goes up 10 beats without me realising until I feel fatigue, once I focus on my training my HR normalizes and I can continue as normal.. women take up too much energy
This is why I quit going to the lake, or the river or pool in the summer years ago. And why I avoid places and activities where the gals are showing their legs. It's painful window shopping and knowing that you don't have the sexual credit to purchase any of the merchandise.
@@David-ej1ps imagine the energy and effort that could have been put to self-actualization, work out, passions, businesses
@@victoriannecastle fam, I am currently going thorugh that process now, finish my degree last year, moved out and literally focusing as much of my energy this year into self actualizing
@@jamesowen4938 I totally understand, I put myself out there as much as you did, and same result idk why this happens I just want to get laid for once ugh.
The Best advice I have received in years. All this while I was advised its not polite to look? Ru kidding me.
You're advise makes perfect sense. Every time I looked and didn't go speak to that woman I felt horrible. The feeling of never even having a chance was depressing. But I have continued to do it regardless, till today, not knowing it was affecting me that much. After watching this video, I have unfollowed all the influencers and female celebs on IG.
Playing this game with no end result was soo obvious. But nobody talk about this stuff!!! Thanks again.
Yes just go talk to her, even if she says she has a boyfriend you will leave feeling good about yourself for taking the chance at least!
Mind: Look at that woman's body! Yes, I like this! Show me more!
Me: SHUT UP MIND!
:P
pretty much lol
I’m not attracted to women. It does confuse them the way I interact with them they know I haven’t the least bit of interest in them. I can tell it gets to their head
Gay or ace? Or maybe some other alternative?
Opium Symposium transfeminine
y r u gae
@@Pedro-kq5tl who says i’m gae
The founders of OK Cupid released their analytics a few years back. When it came to attractiveness, men rated women on an almost perfect bell curve. Women rated men so harshly that only 1 in 6 men was considered above average in looks.
Yes, women rated 80% of all men as unattractive.
Here's another fun fact. Tinder is 70% men and only 30% women. Men swipe right 50% of the time. Women swipe right only 14% of the time.
rated the photos of men*
Women have already enough Attention for free they even assume that men are going to look at her. I was ignoring women on the street. One said to the other he doesn't look at us, the other women said he thinks we women have already enough Attention and that is exactly what i was thinking she read my mind
Alexander Grace really has this aspect of being reasonable and accurately analytical about something in one moment and spewing complete horseshit the very next moment. He is like the middle part of a very problematic and dangerous rabbit hole.
I don't feel frustrated when I see a hot woman, I feel frustrated when I see a hot woman with a guy. I've always ignored women though. What's the point looking if you aren't making a move? I don't know if it affects them, as I'm not looking in the first place to notice their reaction.
I used to. Now I don't care.
Damn, I feel like all you said actually applies to many other things in life. I have to stop teasing myself.
10:15
I feel attacked 😔
Time to cut out another bad depressing habit
No more following hot girls on Instagram that I don’t know. At least I’m gonna unfollow most. Because Instagram always has them on the explore page 😒
Api get off Instagram? 🤣 is it really the most effective way to get what you want out of it?
Instagram is for skyscraper pictures
Any post you don't want to see just flat them as not interested/relevant and Instagram will stop suggesting them
I found a way to fix this! Just go to Adjustments , go to Apps , and go to Instagram , and right there delete your cache data ,and wuala!
It only shows that if you chose to follow that content
Ok I’m convinced RUclips and the internet is reading my mind. Crazy how I get recommended this video just over a hour ago leaving my women and the skin excitement he mentions was on my mind
If you think about cars google will advertise them we don't even have to speck about what's on the mind anymore
One of your best videos so far. Thank you.
Social media and the invention of the smart phone has created one hell of an evil society in many ways !