RiffTrax: Paper And I (Full FREE Short)

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  • Опубликовано: 11 янв 2025

Комментарии • 618

  • @CountryCarReviews
    @CountryCarReviews 2 года назад +16

    Willy went on to be the model patient at the local psyche hospital

  • @BamThwokCanada
    @BamThwokCanada 3 года назад +235

    Another film in the "inanimate objects come to life and punish humanity with the help of a child" series.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 3 года назад +13

      So _AKIRA,_ then?

    • @nerdking731
      @nerdking731 3 года назад +11

      @@srbrant5391 If Willy starts doing that Tetsuo shit, I'm gone.

    • @Lunar_Atronach
      @Lunar_Atronach 2 года назад +6

      @@srbrant5391 i had a spit take and had to dry off my phone because of you

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 2 года назад +4

      @@Lunar_Atronach This made my day.

    • @mrlaz9011
      @mrlaz9011 2 года назад +6

      @@srbrant5391 rifftrax seems to have cut out the part where willy rampages through the city by crushing everyone with his psychic paper powers.

  • @HylianFox3
    @HylianFox3 3 года назад +120

    "The way he holds on to that paper sack..."
    "Giving you any ideas, honey?"

    • @AuroDHikoshi
      @AuroDHikoshi 3 года назад +11

      "those days ended when we popped him out!"

  • @Popebug
    @Popebug 3 года назад +325

    I'd pay to see the paper bag and Coily the Spring Sprite fight to the death.

  • @louisdellalucca8969
    @louisdellalucca8969 3 года назад +193

    When you use a giant saw without safety guards, you’re shaking hands with danger. Budew bubadewdew.

  • @HylianFox3
    @HylianFox3 3 года назад +401

    I'm still waiting for "Scissors and I", "Rock and I" to complete the trilogy.

    • @toupac3195
      @toupac3195 3 года назад +12

      I bet they exist. It's just a matter of time until they are found. In fact, I remember a reel to reel film in school about scissors 🤭😁

    • @lauranolastnamegiven3385
      @lauranolastnamegiven3385 3 года назад +1

      @@toupac3195 did it teach you not to run with them?

    • @jacksongibbs8998
      @jacksongibbs8998 3 года назад +14

      As long as “Rock and I” stars Dwane Johnson, I’ll watch it.

    • @TetsuDeinonychus
      @TetsuDeinonychus 3 года назад +7

      "Come back, Zinc!"

    • @ThePageofRage
      @ThePageofRage 3 года назад +7

      Scissors: Are you ready to take vengeance against your classmates, Willy?

  • @GameKeeper28
    @GameKeeper28 3 года назад +174

    Anyone else creeped out about how chipper he sounded while saying "Where our skin is peeled clean"?

    • @starmanda88
      @starmanda88 3 года назад +6

      YES

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 2 года назад +6

      Reminds me of the old "Cluckin' Chicken" skit from SNL.

    •  2 года назад +14

      And how chipper he sounded about going into the chipper.

    • @Desslar
      @Desslar 2 года назад +4

      I was creeped out by that Dad smoking next to his kid at breakfast.

    • @kenthuang436
      @kenthuang436 2 года назад +1

      @SR Brant I thought of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs

  • @RedHeadKevin
    @RedHeadKevin 3 года назад +102

    Dear God... That was a horrific and detailed account of that tree describing its own torture, skinning, cooking, and rolling. That thing should be begging WIlly not to put him through the machines.

    • @Mr72Dolphins
      @Mr72Dolphins 3 года назад +6

      This is just a modern version of "The Epic of Gilgamesh ".

    • @skeetsmcgrew3282
      @skeetsmcgrew3282 3 года назад +11

      Accidentally a film about environmentalism

    • @suchiuomizu
      @suchiuomizu 3 года назад +4

      If only such a piece of meat appeared in 'This is Hormel'.

    • @MkeKen67
      @MkeKen67 3 года назад +1

      @@skeetsmcgrew3282 - especially the part about the United States using twice as much paper as other countries.

  • @Zara-Bari
    @Zara-Bari 3 года назад +190

    "How can we make an ordinary everyday item horrific and nightmarish?"
    -The creators of this short, probably

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 3 года назад +7

      "And a young David Lynch realizes his destiny."

    • @LL-bl8hd
      @LL-bl8hd 3 года назад +7

      The producers of "A Case of Spring Fever" after seeing this: "Write that down, write that down!"

    • @DJHolte
      @DJHolte 3 года назад +8

      No kidding. Jeezus, this would've given me years of nightmares if I'd seen it as a child. Hell, maybe even now.

    • @DoctorInk20
      @DoctorInk20 3 года назад +8

      They probably saw the _This Is Hormel_ short and thought "Challenge Accepted."

    • @teedup8995
      @teedup8995 3 года назад +1

      Lol!!

  • @UJEvans
    @UJEvans 3 года назад +78

    "You've done well for the order of the pulp, willy. As your reward you will take my place as the paper bag."
    "Do you mean it?"
    "Of course, and I will take your burden as a human boy."

    • @Popebug
      @Popebug 2 года назад +3

      This is one of the greatest things every written.

  • @ShojoBakunyu
    @ShojoBakunyu 3 года назад +15

    NO SPRINGS! I mean... NO TREES!

  • @Mibbitmaker
    @Mibbitmaker 3 года назад +82

    This is why Dunder-Mifflin should never let Michael Scott make any of their propaganda videos!

    • @jacksongibbs8998
      @jacksongibbs8998 3 года назад +10

      Give Michael some credit. Even he wouldn’t have let this fly.

    • @savvybear11781
      @savvybear11781 3 месяца назад +1

      @@jacksongibbs8998 that's what she said

  • @jakepullman4914
    @jakepullman4914 3 года назад +63

    "Thanks for saving my life, Willy!" Dude he was literally a second from popping you.

    • @dahlrjay63
      @dahlrjay63 3 года назад +7

      Yeah, if anything, he should have been thanking the mother and taking her on a magical educational journey
      ... Which, would have made for a much more interesting video.

    • @andystegall7407
      @andystegall7407 Год назад +7

      "You should've killed me when you had the chance, Willy! Now I'll be with you until the end of time, Willy!"

  • @tommybutler731
    @tommybutler731 3 года назад +218

    This felt like the origin story of a paper-obsessed serial killer.

    • @jkdbuck7670
      @jkdbuck7670 3 года назад +10

      That's because it WAS.

    • @AdrianColley
      @AdrianColley 3 года назад +3

      In a Batman movie

    • @derekstein6193
      @derekstein6193 3 года назад +15

      The origin of the Origami Killer from Heavy Rain.

    • @specialpatrolgroup92
      @specialpatrolgroup92 3 года назад +1

      @@derekstein6193 Or the end of L.A. Noire

    • @DaWhiteWolffie
      @DaWhiteWolffie 3 года назад +11

      The Papercut killings were a horrible time back in the 1960s. It took John Rock and Jill Scissors 5 years to finally take him down. All victims were covered in a thousand tiny cuts that slowly bled them to death.

  • @Tareltonlives
    @Tareltonlives 3 года назад +40

    "We'll show them their sins, Willy!"
    "And then we march on Saruman!"
    This is a classic short.

  • @davidgrange8182
    @davidgrange8182 3 года назад +81

    “His temperature is all gone.” You mean, Willy has achieved absolute zero???

    • @Panzer_the_Merganser
      @Panzer_the_Merganser 3 года назад +9

      Light, sound, the very air around Willy has been stopped in its tracks.

    • @Panzer_the_Merganser
      @Panzer_the_Merganser 3 года назад +6

      @@Stevie-J It’s there we’ll learn of his transformation due to eating gamma-ray grits, or an experimental peach cobbler gone horribly wrong.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 2 года назад +5

      "You're a Bose-Einstein condensate, Willy!"

    • @kaimln
      @kaimln 2 года назад +3

      Hilarious! thank you

    • @kaimln
      @kaimln 2 года назад +1

      @@srbrant5391 Like the movie Spectral (2016)!

  • @Auryanne
    @Auryanne 3 года назад +30

    HOly crap the tree cheerfully talking about having his skin peeled off, chopped up, and cooked.

    • @skeetsmcgrew3282
      @skeetsmcgrew3282 3 года назад +9

      Youd think they would have glossed over the fact that an anthropomorphized tree was eventually going to be mutilated. But nope, they leaned into it hard

    • @KyleRayner12
      @KyleRayner12 3 года назад +10

      Getting some strong Hormel vibes off this

    • @pjabrony8280
      @pjabrony8280 3 года назад +5

      And when he says cooked, he means COOKED.

  • @No_Joke_Pro
    @No_Joke_Pro 3 года назад +120

    This huffing PSA is way darker than the one i saw in DARE class

    • @ClayLoomis1958
      @ClayLoomis1958 3 года назад +18

      Yup, Drugs Are Like That.

    • @KyleRayner12
      @KyleRayner12 3 года назад +4

      @@ClayLoomis1958 Huh? What? A baby?

    • @yakiclone1
      @yakiclone1 3 года назад +3

      fill me with your dark magic

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 Год назад

      Sandwich fumes are habit-forming.

  • @deandupont5503
    @deandupont5503 3 года назад +24

    True Trivia Time: paintball guns were invented for the purpose of marking trees. It saved the foresters time and effort; they could mark trees from 100 feet away.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 2 года назад +11

      To keep their distance from talking paper bags.

  • @markalexander3659
    @markalexander3659 2 года назад +7

    If you think Willy telling the whole class about his paper was bad, wait until you see Paper tell the whole class about his willy

  • @Bobsheaux
    @Bobsheaux 3 года назад +95

    I'll often read stories to my streaming audience using voices that they pick out for me to read in, and I LOVE how one of their favorites is 'Paper Bag'. lmao

  • @pt008
    @pt008 3 года назад +50

    It's amazing how well documented the child bedroom invasions are, from the 50s and 60s.

    • @julieporter7805
      @julieporter7805 Год назад

      How did our parents survive that dreaded time? 😳😱

    • @Pocketrocket-pj1us
      @Pocketrocket-pj1us Год назад

      The ones from the late 60's & 70's are too graphic to show.
      They're locked away in a big warehouse, like the ARK is in.

  • @pjabrony8280
    @pjabrony8280 3 года назад +15

    "The name's Papery! The paper sprite, they call me!"

    • @somecathchick
      @somecathchick 3 года назад +4

      "I'll show Papery, I'm gonna digitize everything"

  • @Senseman
    @Senseman 3 года назад +18

    "Rayon, New Jersey" got me good.

  • @cujoedaman
    @cujoedaman 3 года назад +27

    This is quite possibly one of the most disturbing things anyone has made.
    It's like some full ad for Omega Mart.

  • @FunkySaurb456
    @FunkySaurb456 3 года назад +33

    I can't even begin to think about how many films like these my dad had to torturously sit through and watch when he was a kid. It would explain a great many things about him that's for sure, like his unwillingness to talk about his past for example.

  • @brossichi1988
    @brossichi1988 3 года назад +8

    The last scene is so metal yet so heartwarming. Willy and his parents slay the demon bag together.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 2 года назад +1

      "They paid for their arrogance in blood!"

  • @plucas1
    @plucas1 3 года назад +21

    Wow. I never thought 2D animation could so thoroughly lodge itself in The Uncanny Valley.

  • @angelabryant9766
    @angelabryant9766 3 года назад +29

    This short is so freaking horrifying...and the scariest part is, I think the creators think this is charming and delightful.

    • @Zara-Bari
      @Zara-Bari 3 года назад +8

      You don't think being kidnapped out of your bedroom in the dead of night by a paperbag is fun?

    • @crazyfvck
      @crazyfvck 3 года назад +2

      @Angela Bryant I wouldn't say it's horrifying. Weird, yes, but not horrifying.

    • @teedup8995
      @teedup8995 3 года назад +4

      I,d rather be taken by Mr B Natural!

    • @robokill387
      @robokill387 Год назад +2

      I don't know, the part where the tree happily narrates how he is skinned alive, chopped up, boiled and beaten is kind of nightmarish in a world where they're alive and can feel pain.

  • @AlcoholicBoredom
    @AlcoholicBoredom 3 года назад +4

    12:00 And Thanos snaps causing half of all paper products in the universe to disappear.

  • @FlintIronstag23
    @FlintIronstag23 3 года назад +31

    4:25 Poor Willy. His mom doesn't even care his high waisted pants are cinched so tight be can hardly breathe.

    • @mrlaz9011
      @mrlaz9011 2 года назад

      This boy proves that man can also wear corsets

    • @kevinmi42
      @kevinmi42 11 месяцев назад

      If their slacks don't pinch the sack - it ain't fit for church

  • @uhhuhsure
    @uhhuhsure 3 года назад +14

    I suppose I could turn this short into a drinking game where I take a sip every time I hear the name "Willie" but I don't want to die an early death from alcohol poisoning.

  • @6Shooter28
    @6Shooter28 9 месяцев назад +2

    I really enjoy the implication that Billy has become unhealthily fixated on inanimate objects before. Dad was way too quick with that "he's sick again" for this to be a first

  • @katherinenoggle6407
    @katherinenoggle6407 3 года назад +93

    "I'm just serving some gruel to the other captured children." Oh. My. God. Dark, fellows, very dark. But I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

    • @chillydawgg4354
      @chillydawgg4354 3 года назад +3

      Mike should get into doing cartoon voices

  • @snap2snip
    @snap2snip 3 года назад +5

    15:33 “Go on, Willy” give me the sweet release of death

  • @UnclePengy
    @UnclePengy Год назад +4

    Did I mention The South yet, Willie? Because it's very important that you realize your paper comes from THE SOUTH, Willie. Remember The South, Willie. The South will rise again, Willie!

  • @nickfarmer2452
    @nickfarmer2452 3 года назад +13

    Huffing sandwich fumes: when knocking back a bottle and a half of robitussin just doesn't do it for you any more.

  • @snorpenbass4196
    @snorpenbass4196 3 года назад +4

    "What's that Mr Paper bag? I should get the scissors and make mommy and daddy's skin into bags like you? And then burn the house down to cover up my tracks?"

  • @bonafide9781
    @bonafide9781 2 года назад +5

    “Paper, paper, paper, paper, must kill parents…I mean paper.”

  • @musicians_with_gunts
    @musicians_with_gunts 3 года назад +5

    "Zinc... Zinc, come back ZINC!"

  • @ClayLoomis1958
    @ClayLoomis1958 3 года назад +25

    And when Willy flies, his feet flop in the air like broken twigs.

    • @Popebug
      @Popebug 3 года назад +1

      The animation is disturbingly fluid.

  • @kaylanrogo204
    @kaylanrogo204 3 года назад +13

    A Talking Paper Bag!?!

    • @theboombody
      @theboombody 3 года назад +4

      The bag doesn't sound as drunk as the cat though.

    • @Tareltonlives
      @Tareltonlives 3 года назад

      they're like polar opposites of enthusiasm

  • @monkfan72
    @monkfan72 3 года назад +24

    Paper Bag is somehow creepier than Coily.

    • @nickfarmer2452
      @nickfarmer2452 3 года назад +15

      Coily was a one-off visitation. Paper Bag visited night after night to abduct his victim.

  • @AmberGolden97
    @AmberGolden97 2 года назад +4

    2:47 - "My god, this one's talking... Burn this whole forest down, leave nothing alive!!" 😂😂😂😂

  • @jbug1979
    @jbug1979 3 года назад +51

    drink a shot every time they say WILLY.

  • @mmw2687
    @mmw2687 3 года назад +6

    That voice! I kept expecting it to suddenly say, “NOOooo paper!”

  • @HailSatanLLC
    @HailSatanLLC 2 года назад +3

    "Don't bring a gun to the courthouse Willy!"
    Bang bang Willy's Silver Hammer came down, on his head!
    Bang bang Willy's silver hammer made sure, he was dead!

  • @hardcorewhoopass
    @hardcorewhoopass 3 года назад +13

    "You know Willy, the south makes more than half of all the wood pulp in the United States."
    Their fun fact was that a half of the country does at least somewhat more than half of the thing. They were REALLY reaching.

    • @biggiedickson
      @biggiedickson 3 года назад +3

      And this half does slightly more half than the other half, Willy

  • @StephanieLenz71
    @StephanieLenz71 3 года назад +7

    Paper Bag, fill me with your dark magicks!

  • @erin750i
    @erin750i 3 года назад +16

    That kid was way creepier than that paper bag.

  • @srbrant5391
    @srbrant5391 3 года назад +4

    “YOU’LL NEVER BE RID OF ME, WILLY!”

  • @frankgutierrez6016
    @frankgutierrez6016 3 года назад +7

    I'm glad it was a used bag talking to him and not toilet paper.

  • @suedenim
    @suedenim 3 года назад +21

    It's rare to see parents in one of these things react rationally to bizarre new obsessions in their children and home invasions by weird creatures from other planes of existence.

  • @leonardgrzywacz816
    @leonardgrzywacz816 2 года назад +4

    "You'll never be rid of me Willy!!"

  • @theotherghostgirl337
    @theotherghostgirl337 3 года назад +6

    Why does the construction worker have the most realistic reaction to all paper products disappearing

  • @erin6784
    @erin6784 3 года назад +19

    Ah great. We've met Coily the Spring Sprite's cousin.

  • @cbz3000
    @cbz3000 3 года назад +5

    This is one of my favorite shorts. I would love to see a full length movie about Willy and that paper bag taking over the Earth. DESTROY THEM ALL WILLY. THEY DO NOT DESERVE MERCY.

  • @thomaspalazzolo5902
    @thomaspalazzolo5902 3 года назад +23

    Ah yes, the sequel to Withnail and I.

    • @jordansinn
      @jordansinn 3 года назад +1

      Ah, a fellow thespian!

    • @AdrianColley
      @AdrianColley 3 года назад

      Scrubbers! Scrubbers! The heart of the paper mill.

  • @ackbarfan5556
    @ackbarfan5556 3 года назад +38

    This is probably one of the best shorts.

  • @andrewpytko4773
    @andrewpytko4773 2 года назад +2

    Can't believe there weren't any callbacks to "Case of Spring Fever."

  • @srbrant5391
    @srbrant5391 3 года назад +4

    “And a young David Lynch realizes his destiny.”

  • @SithBunny1
    @SithBunny1 2 года назад +2

    So, no question about why this child is walking around like he's hypnotized by a freaking paper bag? I'm pretty sure it's secretly a paper-based demon.

  • @225Perfect
    @225Perfect 3 года назад +5

    That cartoon face is legit terrifying. It'll haunt my dreams.

  • @GruntGamerProductions
    @GruntGamerProductions 3 года назад +10

    This is the kind of video that inspired that Simpsons joke "A World Without Zinc."

  • @abitofabitofabit4404
    @abitofabitofabit4404 3 года назад +14

    Today I learned that Zinc Oxide and You wasn't that much of a parody.

    • @misterblueskyyy
      @misterblueskyyy 2 года назад +2

      If you haven't seen A Case of Spring Fever yet...

  • @BlazingOwnager
    @BlazingOwnager 3 года назад +6

    30 years later, the detectives try to solve the rash of killings involving paper bag suffocations and pulping machines.

  • @MichaelB-jw5po
    @MichaelB-jw5po 3 года назад +11

    "It's a sack thing, ma, you wouldn't understand!" is one of my all-time favorite riffs.

  • @justinhadley2583
    @justinhadley2583 3 года назад +11

    Imagine the unspeakable horror of a world without paper or springs.
    *shudders

  • @a..c..2469
    @a..c..2469 3 года назад +24

    Measuring man will save the day.. WAT UP RIFFTRAX FAM

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 3 года назад +5

      oh jeez, they GOTTA make Measuring Man available for free
      "EVERY SPIN IS TORTUUUUURE!!!"
      "Stop talking about units!"

    • @RatedGForGentleman
      @RatedGForGentleman 3 года назад +2

      @@HylianFox3 “...or a baseball bat.”
      “Don’t hit me Measuring Man, please!”

    • @nickfarmer2452
      @nickfarmer2452 3 года назад +3

      "What is that hanging on his belt there?"

  • @Shamandigi62091
    @Shamandigi62091 Год назад +2

    Willie would later grow up to become a Batman villain the other rouges refused to talk to talk to him saying that he was to crazy even for them

  • @RIXRADvidz
    @RIXRADvidz 3 года назад +5

    Willie went on to be the World's Oldest Bag Boy at Piggly Wiggly

  • @LordQuadros
    @LordQuadros 3 года назад +8

    As a fan of A Case of Spring Fever, I sincerely hope that there are more shorts in the "avatar of some esoteric common object fundamentally alters reality to teach some chump a lesson" genre.

    • @Tareltonlives
      @Tareltonlives 2 года назад +1

      Soapy the Germ Fighter, Willy Whistle, Chalky, this guy

    • @Popebug
      @Popebug 2 года назад +2

      Mr B Natural is adjacent

  • @Monkofmagnesia
    @Monkofmagnesia 2 года назад +4

    13:04 - "No Springs!"

  • @Birchwood1976
    @Birchwood1976 3 года назад +2

    If Mr. Paper Bag and Coily were to ever join forces it wold be end of us all

  • @alannamcneill5679
    @alannamcneill5679 10 месяцев назад +2

    I really don't think Willy is well enough to go to school tomorrow, because he's having hallucinations about a paper bag.

  • @ngobleus
    @ngobleus 2 года назад +2

    Mike's voice for the paper bag lol
    "Not a boat, paper bag, I'm seasick."
    "Then barf over the side, cause I'm not taking you home!"

  • @l.a.gothro3999
    @l.a.gothro3999 3 года назад +6

    "So what if we have segregation at every level - the South is where the paper-producing trees are grown in forests!" It's like a Thomas Dewey speech.

  • @tonyjackson4078
    @tonyjackson4078 3 года назад +3

    Hi Willy! I'm a rolling paper! You can use me for tobacco....or maybe we can get a little sorted....hehehe

  • @Tareltonlives
    @Tareltonlives 3 года назад +7

    Paper Bag vs Coily: Whoever wins, we lose

  • @lymb3914
    @lymb3914 3 года назад +6

    Fun fact: In the original draft of the script, the paper bag actually contained Marsellus Wallace's soul.

  • @Albatross4Sure
    @Albatross4Sure 2 года назад +4

    Lithium isn't gonna do jack squat for him. Kid needs Haldol.

  • @Pocketrocket-pj1us
    @Pocketrocket-pj1us Год назад +2

    Starting to remind me of the SNL Chicken restaurant commercial.
    Tue one where the chicken describes his own demise!!
    'Then theu pull arms off..'
    I think the inspiration is this, or something similar.

  • @Magic_beans_
    @Magic_beans_ 2 года назад +3

    He didn’t even need the arms, they were just used for gesturing.

    • @mcstabbins4501
      @mcstabbins4501 3 месяца назад

      I was waiting for it to just grow legs and start walking like some sleep paralysis demon

  • @matthewweng8483
    @matthewweng8483 3 года назад +1

    ‘…and never forget Willie - I’m everywhere… everywhere.’

  • @srbrant5391
    @srbrant5391 3 года назад +2

    "The only me is me, Willy! Are you the only you that's you?"

  • @dosbomb
    @dosbomb 3 года назад +5

    "It's an endless nightmare, Willy!" lmao love it!

  • @blankblankson2563
    @blankblankson2563 3 года назад +16

    I’m kind of a new fan, but I legit can’t overstay how much I enjoy these shorts.

    • @ClayLoomis1958
      @ClayLoomis1958 3 года назад +9

      Yup, you've still got that new fan smell. You've got a LOT of catching up to do. Enjoy it.

  • @phillipbailey70
    @phillipbailey70 2 года назад +2

    Very funny all the way through (of course😎) but the line, "And then we march on Saruman!" was a legit coffee-spitting moment for me! 😝😆😂😂 Anyone else in the middle of a Riff Trax binge..?

  • @BronsonTheCat
    @BronsonTheCat 3 года назад +3

    “Huff my contents Willy!”

  • @speedystriper
    @speedystriper 2 года назад +2

    "Jewish bankers and the Queen of England are in cahoots to crash the world's currency." These guys must have read Eustace Mullins. LOL Very funny stuff.

  • @troywright359
    @troywright359 2 месяца назад

    8:00 the idea of the kid staring so intently at the paper bag, while the paper bag stares back at him in silence is insane. Acknowledging the parents briefly just adds to the surreal feeling.

  • @perspgold8945
    @perspgold8945 Год назад +1

    i like that they had nothing to say to the tree being de-skinned. like there was nothing to joke

  • @KairuHakubi
    @KairuHakubi 3 года назад +4

    Zinc.. come back! ZINC!

  • @peterbrown6224
    @peterbrown6224 2 года назад +4

    Good thing it wasn't the toilet paper talking to him.

  • @HoChiMints2007
    @HoChiMints2007 3 года назад +3

    "Goodbye, cruel world. Hey thanks, Paper!"

  • @VeraBean
    @VeraBean 3 года назад +3

    Seems like Willy had one hell of a fever dream.

  • @GenY42
    @GenY42 3 года назад +32

    "They could've made paper from any number of easily grown materials, like hemp, papyrus or bamboo, but they chose to make paper by chopping down tree forests that take decades to grow, provide much of our oxygen, shelter wildlife and stabilize our soil and climate, Willy"

    • @kathleenmorrison2908
      @kathleenmorrison2908 3 года назад +12

      "Unlike parchment or older forms of paper, Willy, I require an alkaline reserve so your treasured books don't crumble in your fingers after 20 years. My fibers are small and broken, violently mashed together to provide a smoother finish at the cost of strength. Whether they work with nature or with history, I'm a conservator's nightmare, Willy!"

    • @robokill387
      @robokill387 2 года назад +5

      Actually, most oxygen comes from cyanobacteria, not trees.

    • @troywright359
      @troywright359 2 месяца назад

      ​@@robokill387 willy! Oh willy! Gosh willy, don't listen to the bacterists! They seek to undermine Big Paper with pulp fiction!
      BETTER GET RID OF HIM NOW, WILLY.

    • @JamaicanCastle
      @JamaicanCastle Месяц назад

      @@robokill387 True, but the trees have a better PR machine than bacteria.

  • @zoeyrochellezhombie829
    @zoeyrochellezhombie829 2 года назад +2

    Were they afraid we'd forget the kid's name? He said Willy only a thousand times.

  • @diannemose244
    @diannemose244 4 месяца назад +1

    Addicted to sniffing sandwich fumes 😂

  • @drak347
    @drak347 3 года назад +2

    “They paid for their arrogance with BLOOD!!”