Breaking The C-Section Stigma w/ Emily Wilson Hussem
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- Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
- Full Episode: • Motherhood, Fatherhood...
Often women are shamed for not having a "natural" birth. Emily shares her experience having a C-section.
Emily's Channel: Emily's Channel: / emilyywilsonn
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The stigma isn't on the moms, it's on the docs (and it should be). C-section is a great tool when needed, but like any tool when used wrongly, it does harm. In our country we use it wayyyyy too much and we harm the mom and the baby with it.
Exactly
Way too many csections!
Some doctors do it to go home early! Not kidding
Agreed. I was disappointed that wasn't touched on at all, though Matt probably doesn't do much reading of maternal statistics. It's dangerous surgery, and it's overused according to every metric.
Business of being born by Ricky lake?
She’s right. BUT - physicians are playing women on this and most of us do not need surgery.
100%
As a first time mom I had an “emergency c section”. So many issues leading up to it that the doctor ignored (leaking waters for days before, doctor didn’t even check me just said if my water was broken I’d be coming in with a towel between my legs!)
I pushed for two hours while my husband said it looked like baby was facing sunny side up, the nurse scoffed at him and said she would know if that was the case. After those two hours the doctor comes in, takes one look and said “yep that baby is transverse, time for a C-section”
I asked if I could ever have a natural birth in the future and she said no.
I found a new doctor and went on to have three successful VBACS.
I remember crying for months after my daughter’s birth when I would hear someone had a natural birth. So many people told me that the baby and I were healthy and that’s all that mattered. While that IS the most important, it took a long time for someone to tell me that it was ok to mourn the birth I missed out on. It’s ok to feel sad that it wasn’t ideal, but I didn’t realize it.
Having to talk to someone is "so important" because C-sections drastically increase your chances of postpartum depression...... I wish she would have talked about that more. I'm happy women have the option of c-sections, SERIOUSLY IT'S A BLESSING CLEARLY. But there are phycological risks that should have been talked about.
I had a C-section for our daughter in 2019 who was breech, and then again for our son 15 months later because they were worried the incision site wasn't fully healed and I would bleed out. I am so thankful for our two sweet children, the world would be seismically different without them in it ❤️💙
Once you get a C-Section, you will always need to deliver that way.
@@zsedcftglkjh Not necessarily true, there is VBAC.
I had two c-sections followed by four natural births. The reasons for my first two c-sections were not repeated, thank God.
Thank you for talking about this! I’ve had 3 c sections. My first one I was induced and after 23 hours of labor was rushed to the operating table. When I knew I was having a c section I was devastated. I felt like a failure. Like my body failed me. The days after I also had to formula feed because my baby had dropped so much weight since I was not producing milk. Another blow. It took me a while to feel better and come to terms. By my 3rd C-section I had no problem. I knew my body and although I delivered them differently it doesn’t make me any less of a mom. Thank God for modern medicine that made it possible for me to deliver and raise my children. I have a healthy 8,5, and 8 month old and I am beyond blessed. It also helped to have such an amazing, helpful, and supportive husband by my side. ❤
You are right, it never made you any less or a mother. You still grew those babies inside your body, how they come out doesn’t matter as long as done responsibly and safely. There are a lot of women in the majority of past history who either lost their babies and or their own lives because they didn’t have procedures such as c-sections.
Glad that even though it took time you realized that doing it made you no less!
I don’t think the stigma is on the women, but the doctors and the medical field.
It’s pretty dreadful but the rate of C sections goes up when it’s the end of the working day or week.
In Australia, C sections are much higher at private hospitals then they are at public, hence why they are so high in the states due to them making more money.
C sections are faster and easier for a doctor then waiting for things to go naturally.
They are obviously life saving in some circumstances, but they are definitely being used in situations where they shouldn’t be.
Major abdominal surgery is no small thing to recover from.
It’s annoying how everyone is glossing over this
Another thing people don’t think about, is the fact it’s far more dangerous to have say, seven C sections, then seven national births, making it harder for Catholics to have big families safely.
It’s probably all related to people not wanting others to have big families.
@@lizzydy3955 yes, I see ppl brush this off. Statistically it is actually dangerous due to risks of placental issues (growing into the scar tissue, or abruption) and scar issues with each additional section. The statistics are there, and doctors know this.
Having C-sections (4) was a disappointment but I don't think I would call it a stigma for me. I do sort of wish I could've done it the 'right' way. For me I was grateful the Drs could get my babies out and they or I didn't die since my babies did not want to come out and contractions were harming them either time I tried to labor.
As others have noted, this doesn't seem to be a stigma. Moms prefer vaginal childbirth over C-section, and C-section over dead baby.
I've never heard any stigma connected to c sections.
C sections are awful, unnatural, traumatizing, over-utilized, and often caused by too many doctor interventions during labor. So glad I was able to VBAC after mine. It’s also VERY difficult to be a devout Catholic who discerns having children when doctors keep telling you that you need to have c sections because THEY are scared of liability.
More people need to speak out against the medical community pushing c sections.
My planned c-section was none of those things. I’m sorry that yours was, but please don’t characterize all c-sections as “unnatural.” The whole point of this clip is to break the stigma surrounding this often life-saving intervention. Perhaps we can agree they are far too common in the US, but there are certainly cases where they are absolutely necessary.
@@emmaalles5249 they are completely unnatural and more dangerous than actual childbirth. You’re literally slicing a woman open to take her baby out. That is not birth. It’s surgery. Sometimes it IS necessary, but it’s because of a complication. That is not the way God intended it. I personally believe the stigma that women feel is a projection of their own disappointment. No one actually cares if any individual had a c section or not. Though many would agree and share their opinions that it is safer and easier to heal from a natural birth.
The point is that women are coerced or scared into c sections every day in the US. Our maternal mortality rate is one of the worst in the developed world. And trying to normalize or remove some perceived stigma will only exacerbate that problem.
Both times I was pregnant, my biggest fear was having to have a C-section because I, too, have believed the stigma.
I remember when my sister in law had to book a C-section due to her baby being breech and an inversion didn’t work. She cried and cried. She was devastated. The stigma is real.
It’s okay for moms to not want to deliver via C-section. It’s major surgery! There shouldn’t be any shame on moms who have csections, and to date I’ve never met a mom who shames another mom for having a C-section. But telling women they shouldn’t be sad when they have to deliver in a much more difficult way is ludicrous. We should acknowledge their feelings as they’re valid, it’s okay to be sad and we should offer support as best we can to those mamas!
I agree! After my c-sections, I grew so weary of people telling me that I shouldn’t be sad or upset about what I and my babies had endured. The “stigma” I experienced from others was not due to my having c-sections but due to my not being overjoyed at them. Thankfully, a woman who became a close friend took me under her wing, introduced me to other c-section moms, and helped me heal from the disappointment, grief, fear, and trauma that I suffered.
I gave birth to five children, I had 2 home births completely natural, 1 hospital birth natural, 1 hospital birth with a block and one C-section. I am happy to report each birth resulted in a healthy baby. The C-section was by far the most difficult to recover from but I would do it all over again if I had too.
I was not awake during my C-section do to it being an emergency. I hemorrhaged at 31 weeks gestation and had an emergency C-section and partial hysterectomy. I had no idea I would be giving birth that day or that it would be my last pregnancy. I am so blessed that my doctor was a family friend and he was incredibly supportive.
Thanks so much for saying all that. I have three children and all of them were born by C-section, the first unplanned, the other two planned (I was over 40 for the younger two and they get nervous about letting you go overdue at that age). I can appreciate that my oldest son and I might both have died in a day and age before antibiotics were invented and C-sections became much safer, but I still feel like I missed out on something. It got harder to face each subsequent C-section, knowing how hard it was to recover from them. I have never thought about it as something heroic before. Thanks you for saying that. 😢
I gave birth naturally without pain meds all 4 times, yet I don't like saying that because I get judgement! It doesn't matter how a woman births her babies, there's always someone there to pass judgement.
I am curious, why did you choose not pain meds? Do you feel better after all of that pain experience, like some kind of catharsis? I mean I know that was the way it was done for centuries, but I guess that we have grown into a such spoiled society that we like to avoid as much suffering as possible. I would like to know if the pain kind of makes a woman stronger mentally or something... I guess I want to know because even though I am not married or anything, I wonder if I could go through it in the future, God willing
@@beatrixamerlinck5818 all the pain medications, including epidurals, have risks to both mother and baby. Natural labor in a healthy woman does not carry those risks, so many women choose to avoid medications.
As for mental and emotional reasons - God did design the womans body to birth without medications. And while everyone is grateful for modern technology, statistically it is not needed the majority of the time. So why not let the body work as it was designed to? God did not make any mistakes and the effects of natural labor help both mother and baby physically through many mechanisms.
And yes, our culture has become totally adverse to any discomfort. I've had three kids and not a single time did I think "this is torture, I'm dying". I prepared my mind and heart that "this is going to be hard, but lots of good things in life are hard". And that's all it was - hard, intense, and required a lot of me. But then it was over and a baby was in my arms. And I do look back on my labors with joy bc I did it for my babies. ❤️
@@beatrixamerlinck5818 I’ve had three natural births and am planning my fourth. It’s not the pain we look forward to it the power of knowing you can do this and feeling entirely connected throughout your labor. Being able to move freely leads to better birth outcomes as well for both mama and baby.
Epidurals have risks, babies born to moms with epidurals have more trouble being alert and more trouble with feeding. Epidurals also can cause lifelong back pain for some mamas and even can cause paralysis thought it’s very uncommon. Epidurals also have a higher chance of distressing baby in utero leading to an increase in csection rates, they can also slow labor eliciting the need for pitocin which also can negatively affect mom or baby leading to csections.
I think birth should be done according to the moms goals and desires. If she wants a C-section she should be empowered to have one, if she wants and epidural there should be support. If she wants to do it all herself with no medication or surgery that should be the utmost goal for her birth team.
The stigma for csections isn’t on the mom, it’s on the medical industry that pushes intervention after intervention and causes birth trauma and disempowers women. Csections are major abdominal surgery that take a while to recover from, and drs should prioritize methods of labor that reduce instance of csections so that moms don’t have to face recovering from major surgery while also caring for a new born baby and often other children as well
@@beatrixamerlinck5818 also I did want to add that natural childbirth wasn’t nearly as painful as I was told it would be! It’s definitely manageable and the feeling of doing it is freaking awesome!
@@beatrixamerlinck5818 there are side effects and risks to so many interventions. Avoiding pains can cause you to have different pains. Leaning into suffering can help you empathize with others, it helps your trust in God grow and it helps you see that you can get through difficult things in life and things will look up eventually. Trying to avoid suffering is not the Christian way, and is in a way rejecting Gods plan for us to bring us to holiness through the specific suffering he allows us to experience.
I don’t think it’s a stigma. I was terrified at the thought of being cut open and have my guts on the table. I also have an awesome midwife that supported me in having a VBAC. 1 cesarean and 2 home births. Each birth has its own amazing story.
That has been my experience, that each birth is its own separate experience and each child their own person. All of my births were incredible and memorable. My home births were by far my favorite but my health did not allow me to have all of my children at home.
Right. It's not so much a stigma that makes women fearful, it's that it is a truly massive and invasive surgery with all the risks of major surgery.
@@Mrs_Homemaker right?! I was set on doing a home birth for all 3 but baby 1 had different plans. I was in tears because I wanted to avoid a hospital at all costs…THEY ARE DIRTY. The biggest thing that made me sad was when they tried to hand me my baby and because of the drugs the pump you with I thought I was going to throw up and had to push her away.
@@hokiebear8308 I'm so sorry. ❤️💔 I hope you've been able to talk that through with someone and find some peace. Sometimes our bodies and babies need that emergency help and it's okay, but it's also okay to be upset about it.
Me and my twin were born through C-section, so I don’t know why people don’t like it 🤷♂️
It's unnecessarily invasive.
@@zsedcftglkjh Isn’t it a choice tho?
@@TruePT not all choices are good.
As someone with 4 c sections under my belt (pun intended) and I've always been proud and loud about it. I felt blessed that I was spared that kind of pain. My husband felt the same..he said he could not handle seeing me in pain. We thank God we live in a time when I was not concerned I would die because I had breech babies. I had someone ask if I felt cheated from the naturl birth..I said not in the least.
Wow. Thank you for this. I am just 5 days post an unplanned c section. I was struck that on the operating table my arms were stretched out similar to the Cross. I never wanted a c section. But I am grateful…
It shouldnt have stigma, it saves a lot of lives. Before c sections and modern medicine a lot of babies and mother died during childbirth. It was the number one cause of death for women of a certain age. My great grandma had 11 children at home, and the first one died during the childbirth. It was the 1920s in the country.
The baby and mom can die during a C-section too. Besides, it’s way too overused now with half of them not being medically necessary.
@@padlily2485 yes, and I was scocked when I saw that they just appoint it for no reason
A lot of women also died during childbirth in and before the early 1900’s because midwives were taken over by man-midwifery in hospital setting. These men went from working in the morgue cutting up infected corpses to delivering babies without washing their hands (beginning around the 1700’s until about 1940). Mothers tended by medical doctors in a hospital had three times the rate of death than those tended by midwives at home.
I was so lost throughout this entire exchange and don't understand what she is talking about at all. I had 3 c-sections....what am I missing here?
Many people say you are not a real mom if you deliver through C section... That is the point, I think
@@albamr6413 That's the dumbest thing I think I have ever heard ever. If women are so tuff like they both say 🙄 then why would something so stupid bother them? Victim mentality isn't Catholic thinking at all. Why entertain this?
@@albamr6413 I’ve never heard that, but whoever believes this is quite ignorant. SMH
@@Angela-dh6ij Because there is people out there who believe this, It is ok to entertain it. I do not believe it is victim mentality. It is sharing a worry so that if other people experience this can feel identified and also listened to. From my point of view, Catholic thinking does not invalidate other people's feelings or experiences, rather encourages ud to listen, understand and love those who are or have been in pain. We support each other, as brothers and sisters do. So if there are women out there who have been told they are less mothers bcz of a C section, we listen and love them, and that is OK. We do not know everyone's full background or what they have been through, so we cannot judge.
you seem to have copy/pasted this description from another video and forgotten to change the part that needs to be changed. Just a heads up
I had 3 c-section and I wish I could have had the 3 children naturally. But I think the doctors push csections on woman for $-greed. I begged for a vback but they said they would not.many of my friends loved having a date for C-sections because they didn’t want to deal with the unknown and labor. I was complete opposite-Who wants major surgery. I sure did not. Recovery stinks!
The increase in c sections is because the doctor doesn't want to the spend time to deliver the baby naturally, when the doctor could deliver him via c section in a quarter of the time, and take his lunch break or leave work early. I'm sorry that this is the case...
Please make a video on the stigma around free birth, please Matt. I am being bullied by other women at my TLM parish for choosing to free birth. I did not judge or even question their choices at all, and I give the benefit of the doubt that most moms think deeply about her decisions and chooses what's best for their babies, sadly free birth moms aren't given this benefit of the doubt.
I don't know why us women punish ourselves. Giving birth your child shouldn't involved any type of stigma (especially when your live or the life of your child depends on it). Moreover, I've also noticed there's some sort of competition about who did it naturally or with epidural... that's so sad and absurd we do to ourselves. Stop comparing yourselves with others and just accept what's better for you and your children.
What’s the stigma? This seems like the whole breastfeeding vs bottle feeding thing. Nobody is shaming woman for doing something that can save their babies lives. We shouldn’t mistake encouraging woman to opt for the most natural and healthy way to do things as shaming women when it doesn’t go as planned because of an emergency. God in his providence knows why he allows things to go a different way. Perhaps the message that is needed is that God is perfect and what he chooses for us is for our good and our salvation, and not that C sections are beautiful. C sections are not beautiful, but the suffering and surrender that can come with it when it’s united to Christ is beautiful. This goes for literally any suffering in the world.
I’m not a vey traditionally feminine woman. I tend to be drawn to more masculine jobs and pursuits because they sound more physically and mentally challenging (I’m considering joining the marines). Listening to this clip has given me a deeper appreciation for the incredible strength of femininity!
This is a non-issue. Let's quit playing worldly victim games please Catholics.
As a man I have never heard of this “stigma” either nor have I heard any of the women around my life even mention this as a stigma that they have heard of or dealt with.
As others have said it must be more of an online social media group thing which would make sense because none of the women I know are the type to be involved in a lot of those online groups.
My wife had our first two normally but the third wouldn’t turn around correctly so she had to have a c-section. I’ve never thought twice about it…
I had no idea there was a stigma !😄
Our son would have wasted away and died if we didn’t go for c-section….I have no guilt or shame. We gave him his only chance to live….and put our own expectations and wishes away.
I was born by C-section.
Yes its real. I felt less of a mom because I couldn't dilate and my baby was already 41 weeks 😢they said oh, her heart rate is going down you need a C section rn (I waited for 9 hs and I only dilated 1.5cm) but it was sad because i was not mentally prepared to go through it
I'm about to have my 6th c section. God is so good. Praise God for modern medicine. I would have died with my first baby had it not been for a c section!
I think with birth, recognizing that an awful lot is out of your hands is important. Birth plans are useless (though I think having contingency plans is a good idea).
I strongly disagree with this mindset, and birth plans are extremely useful for your birth team to know your wishes without asking you 300 times while you’re trying to focus. This perspective is very disempowering for women and contributes to the “knock’em out drag’em out” standard that has been occurring since the 1950s
Never heard about this stigma.....
There is a stigma associated with C-sections? I wasn’t aware- that is dumb and whoever disagrees with the idea of “healthy baby healthy momma” should be ignored.
I live in Kerala, India. And i would say there is a stigma regarding c section among Catholics. It's somewhat seen as a world's way of giving birth and so not apt. I understand that natural birth is the best, but we shouldn't shame women who had c sections.
It’s crazy and horrible but we can’t deny the fact that in the United States the hospital system strives for c sections because of MONEY & they rush the birth process with the waterfall of interventions. That is not to take away from real medical emergencies that had to end in c section as an intervention but it’s different when THEY caused the result to happen
What is she even talking about 😂
9:13 the Lord can he is omnipotent but sometimes its better if he doesn't
It needs to begin with a struggle.