I can barely watch this. My mom suffered from dementia. Painful time. After she passed my dad then got Parkinsons. He kept his mind up until the very end. Also very tough. So thankful for my hope I Christ.
Robin Williams had the best medicine for dementia. I watched my father who was a trauma surgeon get dementia. He slowly went through hell losing his dignity and self. He died by forgetting how to swallow and starved to death. My mother got dementia 4 months after my father died and she is in stage 6 right now. It has been hell on earth for her and myself and I often feel confused when I have days wishing her end to come. When my time comes to get dementia I will go the way of Robin Williams
I don’t blame you… you know in a hundred years we will look back in horror at how we kept helpless empty sick people alive for years to profit from them … the people in this video are able to enjoy their life, but when you get to the starving to death stage…why ..
I worked in a care home around the elderly with dementia and that happened to a few of the residents. I remember a gentleman who died like this, it was so sad. Untill you see someone get like that you realise human euthanasia IS the only ethical option sometimes. Most the patients I saw passed away before getting to that stage though. The common thing was they had a fall, and the injury lead to infections that took them. We had one lady who was 103 who had dementia and one day she got up to “go to church” and she fel and broke her hip. It strained her body too much and she died. She lost the ability to speak but she could still eat and seemed to recognise people. The saddest part to me is most people lack compassion for dementia patients. They have no patience too, which for me was hard to relate to. I don’t think I could sleep at night if I kept getting mad at a confused person. I found a positive distraction was always better than fighting with them.
I am in Canada. My mother is in a private long term care residence and she loves it. In rare moments of lucidity she shared that she was at peace where she is. My sister and I take turns to visit her weekly , take her outside , take her for haircuts and pedicure on a monthly basis at the residence. There is a plethora of activities she elects to participate or not. She has her own room with a bathroom and She spends her days in the communal area with her friends. She is not coherent anymore but she has found comfort and peace at that residence. My heart is at peace .
Also from Canada. I am so happy you were able to find good care for your mother. Unfortunately, while I was able to find care for my mum in her late 80's which looked great on first blush, we soon realized that the care was not as kind and patient as we had hoped. Always a shortage of staff and often questionable over-medication. I visited her a minimum of three times a week and we even had some private nursing but ultimately I did not feel she was happy or completely safe. If it happens to me, I will not go into a nursing home.
As a retired Nurse, I personally find it disgusting how some individuals are making fun of this disease. It is nothing to laugh at. I can only hope and pray that those making such a 'joke' out of it never come down with it themselves.
My parents died relatively young and Although I miss them everyday I often think they’ve been spared a living hell. Having worked in high dependency dementia units I’m glad my parents are no longer here.
We are putting our Dad into care next Tuesday;Mum and Dad have been married 63 years'and for the first time,he is never coming home.The whole family ,especially Mum is going through a heatbreaking experience-we are caring for a different Dad now.
This doc was inspired by my Dad. I hope that it gives viewers a new perspective on a disease that continues to confound researchers in search of a cure. I'm very proud to have written and directed this piece, but also terrific editing by Jon Wong, and shooting by Kirk Neff..
u don't do this job for the money u do it because of the love that's in ur heart to b able to care and look after that generation is an honour and I'm grateful that I have that chance 😍
If possible, could you give an update to how you felt 3 years ago and how you feel or think about Dementia now? Did you have much or any “real world” experience with Dementia and/or Alzheimer’s 3 years ago? I was also wondering if you are a family member that is a live in caregiver or a nurse? If you can it would be very helpful to me if you could answer those questions I would be very grateful. Thanks either way. Take care.
My Dad was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. The man we knew has evaporated and the most basic parts of his personality remain. He is helpless, but full of intention, our hearts broken.
So sorry. 😢. My Mom has it also. Heartbreaking 💔. We have to be strong for them. I can’t help but cry myself to sleep knowing what’s to come for her. We’re in this together. Sending hugs and prayers.
Im sorry it is such a bummer to live with in the family. I think of dads end. It just makes me cry 😢 it's a terrible end of life. So misunderstood, caretakers give good help, but there aren't enough of them. They need to payed more!! We can look back on our life, social security helps, but inflation will eat that up. It is just hard times for everyone. I witnessed someone living under a tart😢
This is a wonderfully executed documentary. It goes beyond information giving. It shows examples of innovative approaches to support and the reality of what faces many people living with dementia in our, so-called, advanced western society. I am grateful to the programme makers for giving this to me.
B. Nyob, you’re an inconsiderate person to think that he’s dumped his wife when you have no idea how difficult it is to care for someone with memory problems.
So sad, but anyone who has looked after a loved one with dementia will know how hard it is physically and mentally. My heart goes out to anyone/everyone affected by Alzheimer/Dementia. A huge shout out to any caregiver doing this alone! I feel your journey. I feel your pain because I've been there. My mom was also diagnosed in her 60s. Feeling absolutely shattered, heartbroken and drained , working with different physicians across the country with little or no improvement. I was exhausted and overwhelmed to look any further. Crying a lot through frustration, anger and despair, But today with the help of Homeocure Worldwide Natural Medicine, my mother is completely healthy and well again. I think we only need more support and sunlight to overcome this dreadful disease. Search for support regardless and don't stop until you get it. With Homeocure Worldwide treatment, there is hope, don't give up! Check out this blog for useful info️; homeocureworldwide.blogspot.com, Be it any condition, natural treatment and a healthy diet is a road to fast recovery.
@@alicesamekbenoit5990 I only wish that all of us whose loved ones are suffering with dementia ( my daddy is 86 and has “ mixed dementia. 1. Numerous TIA strokes 2. Alzheimer’s ( moderate) 3. Ischemic stroke in July I have taken many steps to set things up to let daddy stay in his own home( steps away from my house)until it becomes too difficult mentally or physically for me as we continue this sad journey. If only we had places like these to care for our loved ones and my husband ( whose disabled himself(71) and I could visit daddy regularly and go on with my life as his daughter not mainly his caregiver.😏
My grandmother is 85 and has dementia. I've been caring for her for almost 3 years and its sad to watch how much she's changed. Every day is a challenge but I always try to put myself in her shoes. I miss who she used to be but I'm keeping her as happy and comfortable as I possibly can!
So sad, but anyone who has looked after a loved one with dementia will know how hard it is physically and mentally. My heart goes out to anyone/everyone affected by Alzheimer/Dementia. A huge shout out to any caregiver doing this alone! I feel your journey. I feel your pain because I've been there. My mom was also diagnosed in her 60s. Feeling absolutely shattered, heartbroken and drained , working with different physicians across the country with little or no improvement. I was exhausted and overwhelmed to look any further. Crying a lot through frustration, anger and despair, But today with the help of Homeocure Worldwide Natural Medicine, my mother is completely healthy and well again. I think we only need more support and sunlight to overcome this dreadful disease. Search for support regardless and don't stop until you get it. With Homeocure Worldwide treatment, there is hope, don't give up! Check out this blog for useful info️; homeocureworldwide.blogspot.com, Be it any condition, natural treatment and a healthy diet is a road to fast recovery.
This is an amazing facility. I have so much respect for the facilitators and residents. It is such a contrast to the awful nursing homes in the states. Such a beautiful facility.
To all those with or caring for someone with any form of dementia, my heart goes out to you. My mother died of dementia a few years ago. It is a terrible disease but with love and humour you can find some golden moments to treasure, even in very dark times. Hold on to these. When she eventually died it was a great relief as her life had diminished to such an extent. Once she had died I found I could once again remember her as a whole person. It was a great joy. I felt she was inside me, whole again. To those critical of others who are choosing to place their loved ones in to the care of others, please don’t judge unless you have walked in their shoes. You cant judge till you are in that situation. I said I would never put my mother in a home, but when she got quite bad she was going to the local care home (which was lovely) for a few hours a day during the week. She loved it there and after a few weeks she would get distressed each day, when coming back to her own home. She would keep saying she wanted to go home, she wanted to be with the people. She didn’t know who we were and we couldn’t give the quality of care she got there. By that I mean we were all doing our best, but it was constant care that she needed. She had become inlcontanent and she would take her pads out and hide them and then have a problem. She didn’t recognise what food or drink was. She didn’t understand about washing herself. She needed the expert help from people who knew how to cope, who also were able to get a nights sleep because they could go home and leave the job to someone else for a few hours. Visiting my mother in the home was such a joy, compared to life with her at home. She was well cared for and I could be a daughter again concentrating on the love. It is important to find a place you can trust if you have to hand the care of your loved one over to others. Our local home was based on a religion, and although my mother hadn’t been a regular church goer, they welcomed her with love and care. The care was fantastic. We could visit her any time 24/7. There were always staff about so if I had wanted to turn up at 2pm I could have done so and had a cup of tea with the carers. The place looked and smelt good and the atmosphere happy. I always left feeling happier than when I arrived. Leaving her the first day was dreadful, I felt so guilty and I sat in the car and cried my heart out. We left her because it was the best for her. She was happier there. I even felt jealous of the carers as they got to be so important in her life. But I couldn’t do for her all that they could. When she fell ill and had to go to hospital, one of the carers went to the hospital with her and stayed with her until she was sure that she was going to be cared for appropriately. She was a young girl but she stood up for my mum against doctors who didn’t understand dementia. She stayed and helped my mum, better than I could, to do the thing the doctors needed her to do. I learnt a lot from her and we did all we could to continue that level of support once she had to leave. Being in hospital is terrible for people with dementia. They don’t understand what is happening. Lots of strange noises etc. We stayed with her all the time on a family rota. My son did nights, my sister did mornings and I did afternoons. We found singing to her helped the most, so we sang nearly all the time. Eventually she was moved to a wonderful dementia ward and we thought she was safe. So we left her during the day ( we all had full time jobs we needed to keep up with). We had found a lovely nursing home close to the hospital with a lovely view and were looking forward to moving her there in the next few days. Sadly a doctor from a different part of the hospital decided to send her for an X-ray while we weren’t there. Against our strong request not to do anything like this when we weren’t there. She wasn’t walking because she had forgotten how to. The doctor wanted to see if there was something wrong with her legs! She had already had two xrays to check this during the previous weeks, nothing wrong with her legs! I arrived to see her that evening. She was rocking, not communicating and I could tell she was traumatised by something. I asked the nurse and he said she had been sent for an X-ray. I was so upset for her as she was clearly terrified. I did all I could to get her to eat something as the nurses couldn’t get her to, and calmed her till she could snuggle down with her teddy. We had got her a lovely teddy and she had spent hours talking to it and stroking it while in hospital. Very calming. She died the next morning. This is a scary disease that robs us of our loved ones piece by piece. Please send love not judgment to all those coping with these difficult decisions. You feel guilt enough without others making judgments. If you have this diagnosis I send you so much love and suggest that you please make it clear what care you want etc while you can. My great grandmother had had dementia so my mother knew how difficult it was, and when she was younger, and well, she had told me that if ever she had dementia that we could put her in a home. Knowing this did help once I realised we weren’t copping anymore.
I do not share your winging. Quit your work and take on caring for you Mom (it is full time-job). Why to shift it to somebody else? No? Then euthanasia is the best decision. By the way, if as you say your grandma got dementia and then your mom, it is very likely you will get it as well. Good luck.
mrs. londy the important thing was to provide my mother with the best care, and we were not skilled enough. The care she received in the home was first class 24/7 and much better than anything we were capable of doing. She was clearly happier and so were we. It improved her last few years and we will always be eternally grateful for the wonderful, trained carers who looked after her in the home. If I do get the same diagnosis and still have wits enough, I will book myself in to the same home and I have asked my children to do it if I can’t. It is a scary thought to lose control over ones own life, but I know there I will be treated with respect and love, and cared for in a way that will meet my needs, as they arise, by skilled professionals.
Liz Pope Hey Liz, thank you for sharing your experience, my mother got early onset Behavioral frontal temporal dementia. In India we have no good care homes and hardly any experienced help. We feel like we’re living in hell and you’re right, no one should judge anyone’s decision to put their loved one in a care home. It’s not like you’re trying to dump the person and have a great time, it’s just the situation gets so out of hand that you cannot provide quality care any further. You did the best you could and we all are, a caregivers pain cannot be understood by the general population not facing this disease. Thank you for your post again, it made me feel not so alone.
Richa Gupta I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. You are right, here we are so lucky to be able to find wonderful care homes here (some aren’t wonderful but I have seen more that are). I wish I could help you, it is such a tough time. There is a saying “this too shall pass”, it has helped me remember that one day there will be a time beyond the suffering of now. When your having a rough day just say that to yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope you are able to find some help.
@Liz Pope - God bless you for your kind post which will undoubtedly help many others; it has already helped me. I'm single, an only child, with no children. My mother has always been my best friend and the most precious person on earth to me. When she was in her 70's, although in excellent health, I began to fear the inevitable time I would lose her, but never imagined the slow loss of Alzheimers. Her father developed Alzheimers in his mid-80's and spent the last three years in a lovely assisted living facility as, despite the 24/7 caregiving, he still became a danger to himself by slipping away and proceeding to chop down a tree in their yard or something similar. Even though she lived in another state, my mother spent a great part of three years overseeing her father's care as the other members of the family "didn't feel comfortable talking to Drs" so she truly understood Alzheimers and the difficulty for caregivers. The latter part of 2018 was when my step-father first noticed memory issues with my mother. She was 84 at the time and he 86. My mother took care of everything in their home, including bill paying so when their water was turned off due to non-payment, SF (step-father) knew something was wrong. Looking back, I believe Mother knew she was developing dementia and cleverly hiding it. One example is that she began isolating and didn't want to go out at all. SF contacted my mother's Dr. for a referral to a neurologist for an exam. Dr. refused & said to my mother at her next visit, "Are they trying to put you in a nursing home?" WOW!!! That began two years of my mother absolutely refusing to take ANY medication because "You're trying to put me in a nursing home." We tried to convince her we wanted to do just the opposite. We lost six months of care for her when she refused to see any Dr. and quickly went from 139 lbs. to 126 (She's 5'7") and often slept 20 hours/day. I was frantic she was dying. My SF and I asked our respective Drs. what to do in the case of an adult who clearly needed medical attention but could still move well and, if one didn't know her, seemed coherent. Both Drs. said it came down to patients rights and if Mother refused to see a Dr., we couldn't force her. When she dropped to 117 lbs and was extremely weak, she asked for me to take her to her Dr. This time I went INTO the examining room with her (pretty much had to carry her in she was so weak) and in a "CYA" move, the Dr. ordered every type of medical test from a colonoscopy to entire body scans that she didn't need. We only agreed on the less invasive ones but that Dr. still didn't "get it." SF finally managed to get her into a neurologist who diagnosed "mild cognitive impairment" but later told my SF who is also a patient there for a different condition that she does have Alzheimers. Neuro prescribed Aricept which had done wonders for my mother's mother when she, too, developed memory impairment. Mother was so thrilled she only had "mild cognitive impairment," took her meds, and was mentally "herself" again plus began gaining weight. However, when she was feeling well, she again refused the medication and became verbally aggressive/combative which is NOT my mother. My SF, also stubborn, and was now 88 and worn out, began setting them out with her breakfast on the promise she would take the meds...she didn't and her memory nose-dived. Four months ago Mother began having full-on visual & auditory hallucinations, including preparing and serving food to family members from out of state....who weren't there. For two years she had accused my SF of having affairs (common with dementia patients) but they now kicked up a notch and the "culprit" was one of her sisters-in-law. At next appt. with neuro, he prescribed an anti-hallucinogenic med which worked...when she took it. In her lucid moments I asked if she could remember what the "voices" in her head were like. (I'm a retired mental health counselor.) It was identical to what those with schizophrenia report - voices telling her how bad she was, then she'd hear her sister-in-law's voice saying SF won't continue living with a "sick woman; he'll find himself a better wife" and sometimes she said the voices "mocked her." As soon as the "med wars" began again, she went into major hallucinations, delusions & paranoia. SF called me one morning because she'd locked herself into her bedroom & I could usually talk her down. This time she screamed for me to go away then began pounding on the inside of the locked door yelling help. SF took the door handle off; Mother was crouched on the floor like a cornered animal and flinched if either of us walked toward her. I sat on the floor, and tried everything I knew, including singing her favorite hymns, to calm her and get her out of the bedroom. She wouldn't speak to me and just glared - the eeriest look I've ever seen out of her eyes. SF thanked me for trying & said she'd probably fall asleep in there. Several hours later, SF called saying she'd apparently walked out of the house while he was napping (she'd never done that before) & he was calling 911. By the time I raced over, thankfully a police officer had found her SITTING in the middle of the neighborhood road and brought her home. She'd told the police her daughter had "mental problems" and was "having an affair with her husband." Talk about a punch to the gut when I heard that!!! Even knowing it wasn't "her" but delusions was a knife through the heart. She was taken by law to a psych hospital (happily walked to the police car on the arm of the officer like she was going to the prom) where she stayed 10 days. The nurses reported her as "a lovely woman," "very sweet," "spending time in the common areas with other patients" and they had no problem giving her her meds. Again, due to her being coherent and speaking very well, unless one knew the entire backstory & that everything she said was false she seems very believable. During her time in the hospital, SF and I agreed we could no longer care for her at home. He was now 89 and Mother was refusing to allow me to come to the house. Continued heartbreak for me since we were so close. I have NO ONE besides my mother. Step-father is also an only child. He has a daughter my age with severe health problems that he formerly saw maybe 1-2x/year; she is widowed and also has no children so it's just the two of us to care for mother. Since Sept. 9 Mother has been in a Senior Living facility that includes a locked section for memory care. It reminds me of one of the places in the video - it was originally a luxury hotel (we live in a tourist-destination near the beach) that was rehabbed into 55+ apartments and a locked section for memory care. It is even located directly behind my apartment complex. I praise God that our Governor opened nursing home/facility visitation the same week my Mother was admitted. I had nightmares about no one being able to check on her care. She has a studio apartment that she apparently really likes, especially the view - a busy city area. My step-sister visited her once, and my step-father twice thus far. She can only have one visitor/week in her room with the visitor wearing COMPLETE PPE and multiple visits in the outside patio area where plexi-glass with "touch sensors" separates her from the visitor. SF has moved some of her favorite furniture into her apartment and reports that she seems very content there and MUCH calmer - proof that taking her meds does help. I didn't want to see her until the meds had taken hold and she was out of the "affair" delusion but, in the meantime, I've gone into a very deep depression. I was apparently running on adrenaline the last two+ years - never sleeping well; afraid of that "phone call in the night," staying busy taking her to Dr. appointments, etc. and always long talks on the phone with my mother. Now all that is gone and I wake up in the night crying and screaming, "I've lost my mother." For the last 10 days I haven't gone out of my apartment until this morning when I ran totally out of food, then did so at 4 am so I didn't have to get cleaned up, I eat whatever then take all the natural "calming supplements" I have plus my prescribed anti-anxiety med and sleep sometimes for 18+ hours. I pray when I do go see my mother she is out of the "delusion phase" and realizes I'm her only child again. On the plus side, I know my mother is safe, well-fed, and content. Again, those who say it's "horrible to put a loved one into a care facility" - you've likely never cared for someone with dementia. It's not the same as someone with another disease but whose mind is intact and is compliant with meds - not locking themselves in a room, nor getting dressed and sitting in the middle of the street due to hallucinations. Shame on all of you and again, God bless you @Liz Pope.
The relatives and carers of people with dementia face a lot of challenges in dealing with loved ones. They need to be emotionally strong yet remain warmhearted to their loved ones. Don't let them feel alone.
My 87 year old husband has dementia and just fell and broke his right hip.All of his health has changed quickly over one single year. He is in rehab until he can recover and go back into assisted living.
I retired in 2006 to Danbury, Ct. My younger sister retired in 2014, at 64, to Ridgefield, Ct. She worked as a journalist for NBC, at Rockefeller Center, for over 30 yrs.She was a world traveler. She started forgetting everything, almost all at once. Now 5 yrs later, she is wheelchair bound, diapers, spoon fed, and tound the clock caregivers in her home. Her throat is starting to constrict. She was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia, which is part Parkinsons. She is almost non verbal. Blessings to your friends and family.
I live with my nan who has dementia. She's stuck in the period of her life where she's 40 and I'm not even born yet. she doesn't know who I am and constantly asks me to leave which is heart breaking. my grandad refuses to put her in a care home but I'm constantly taking slippers out the microwave or finding knives hidden in underwear drawers. It's the saddest period of my life to date and I feel like I'm in mourning already. I've lost the nan who would make me cookies and have conversations with me when I'm sad. It's one of the cruellest diseases.
I'm sorry to hear that, as a geriatric care specialist I know what you are going through. I can't even imagine if it were one of my family members who had the disease. i wish you the best of luck.
agnes perry a doctor that can cure cancer, aids, HIV, and dementia. Sounds too good to be true and you know what they say if it sounds to good to be true it usually is. Stop trying to scam people who are sick.
+agnes perry I have run into a few trolls like everyone but your comment is the most horrendous and deliberately painful thing ive ever read. Please try and control this darkness in you, this desire to hurt is evil and will lead you to a solitary, sad and tormented life. Reach for the light, Follow Love. I hope you find happiness
+agnes perry Have you no shame!?? You're attempting to scam the morning family of a suffering, dying person. What a disgusting thing to do. Life is short - don't waste it hurting others! Get a hobby, scrapbook, read, or start bodybuilding. Just don't scam little old ladies and their families.
The love shown by husbands and wives and family in general is amazing.... watching this I have tears of joy, sadness and dred that I may end up like this or worse my wife has this..... Quite an emotional roller coaster indeed..... but the love here is exactly what the world needs to fix itself.
It's just me & my mentally ill sister & my brother (who is no help) taking care of our Mom..can't afford to put her in a facility..it's been non-stop...I'm suicidal..trying to hang on..talked to shrink..no help..just want it all to end. It's such a horrific disease...God help me & our family..Please!!!!
scneese64 so sorry to hear about your struggles. Please hang in there, I know it’s easier said than done. My family and I are currently taking care of my dad who has dementia. I agree it takes a toll on you but all we can do is believe we can come out of this stronger
@@ceciliaf1169 Thank you Cecillia for your kind words of encouragement..it truly helps me when other people (like yourself) understand what we're going through. Our Mom is in the latter part of her illness, combative, curses non-stop, no empathy, etc. I do, of course, understand she has no control over it but unfortunately so much of our family & friends do not understand it fully so they've all quit calling or coming to see her. Breaks my heart, I've educated them about her illness but they still refuse any contact with her..just breaks my heart, so; again, thank you so much for commenting..I'm sending so much Love to you, your Dad & all your family & friends. God bless you Cecillia!! xo Suzanne
scneese64 I think it is important to send out positivity more than ever especially with these crazy times, even with those who we may not personally know. At the end of the day we are all human and need others for support. Unfortunately those people who no longer come around do not and may not ever understand what we may go through unless they go through it themselves. Thank you so much for your words as well in this difficult time for us. Wishing you all the best and just know you are not alone. This will pass and in the end what matters is that you did your best and you will be at peace with that. Many prayers 🌺🌹🌸
@@ceciliaf1169 Thank you so much Cecilia..You are the first person whom truly understands..your words touched my heart & soul more than you know. I have been feeling so alone..I have 1 friend that has stood by me..all others have quit calling or coming to see me for they know I have no free time to do fun things so; yes, I have most definitely found out who is a true friend. So sad but true for I've always been there for them, I'm 55 years old, should have already learned that lesson, but I don't look at it as a negative, God knew I needed to learn that! Wow, again..thank you for your heartfelt words..I wish you & your family peace as well..with someone like yourself in this world..it does make me want to stay here..God bless you for he blessed me when you responded to me! Much Love, Suzanne (Idaho)
scneese64 I’ve realized that “friends” do come and go. My circle is very small, and I’m ok with that. There is a saying in Spanish that goes, better alone than with bad company. In true times of need you do realize who your real friends are. I’m 34 and living in CT. Sending positive energy your way!
My friend Judy could sing with the voice of an angel. Often, her singing and guitar playing coaxed seniors out of catatonic states, and they joined her in singing along and clapping their hands. Music animates.
If you work as a carer and only think about your wages,You're gonna be broke,not literally but mentally and physically.Always take your time and do it with heart.Heartbreaking😢Great video. X
I think this is absolutely an amazing little village! There should be such places all over the world. Unfortunately, there are many corrupt politicians that would get their fingers in the pie and the patients would suffer!
Great video! When i cared for Rose with dementia, it was as if she left her body and an evil spirit came in to cause havoc. We talk about abuse to the patient, but what about abuse to the caregiver? I am concerned with this illness growing at alarming rates. The Inspired Caregiver book was written to help the caregiver stay as healthy as possible. Caregivers really have to have patience when caring for someone with dementia and we have to live in their world- much easier. Thanks again for this great video!
WOW! A dozen aides for 102 pts? Lucky ducks! I worked at a Masonic Home in KS for 16 yrs (but worked nursing for A30 yrs, 16 at masonic) @ a 120 bd fac and we felt lucky if we had 1 aide per hall (4 halls) + a bath aide. I worked as a cna/crta & I was in charge of the evening restorative dining prog. I repaired w/c's walkers, electric beds & would sneak the key to the boiler rm to up the thermostat so ppl could at least get a hot bath. i also did house keeping, laundry & dietary. If i had to wait on them to do their job, i would never get mine done. But alas, i work no more due to early onset Dementia. And it sucks. I'm only 54. Wait..my husbad says i'm 55 but i don't believe him. I was 40 & still working when i first notice my forgetfulness. Drs said nothing wrong with me but i knew better. I finally quit working after leaving during a shift, thinking work was done. I had only been there an hour! I,m terribly forgetful & no longer drive due to getting lost. As you can see, i can still type but make lots of errors. Hubby is helping me & says hello. I can still remember the past pretty good. Its everyday things that i forget. I wish we could afford the one in the Netherlands. it looked really nice. Hubby says time for bed. Goodnight.
Something like this could never happen here in the USA. Here it's all about the money and $8000/month is beyond most people's abilities, even with medical insurance.
Mohammad Arif *Idiot. Don't you think that these desperate people has tried EVERYTHING? and if your so called "cure" worked, it would already been spread like wildfire around the world.*
My heart aches so terribly for the families, those with the disease and the decisions that they have to make. My mom is 75 and while mentally sound, I put myself in the place of those here and could feel my heart break at the thought of having to leave her somewhere. I can’t imagine what they have gone though. I don’t know how I will face it if it comes to that for my mom. So very sad and painful.
There is no way I would leave my loved one in another country, I would find a way for mine to be cared for near me. People are no different in any part of the world, even if there is 1:1 caregiving there is no guarantee that the caregiver is good or bad. I would have to be near enough to be able to frequently actually see my loved one.
Im surprised that this documentry hasnt been made in the uk..im an elderly care nurse and i see this all the time.....its one of the biggest issues affecting healthcare right now and its heartbreaking.....americans pay for thier healthcare here its all free..yet when u cant make them better or they lose some of their self its your fault. Its true that dimentia patients dont get the care they need.....because in order to do that every single person needs that someone to understand them and it makes u feel like crap that u cant do it.
Lulu Hoop Experts with the most experience and knowledge of dementia all concur that dementia IS NOT INEVITABLE. You are correct Lulu. It won't come to us all. However we must assume that we might get it, and plan accordingly. Financially by putting as much aside as we can so that we are cared for properly, emotionally by educating ourselves and those around us about it, mentally by doing as much as we can to "exercise" our brains constantly and living as healthy lives as we can and most of all, by contributing to dementia research in the hope that one day there may be a cure or prevention for this sad disease.
Lulu Hoop ...good, because otherwise you'd be believing in something that's false. 1 in 10 people over 65 are diagnosed with dementia - that's pretty good odds. until you're over 90...then it's 1 in 3!
I mean... If we all survived long enough our brains would deteriorate and mimic these symptoms. Most people just die of other things before it happens. I think that stimulation in old age is one of the best preventative measures. Staying active and keeping the mind sharp with various things. Obviously this isn't a perfect measure but I really think sitting around doing the same boring things everyday really contributes to this horrible disease
it's impressive that someone still prioritizes the quality of life and service provided, and not much of the financial return, in running a place like the one in Thailand.
My grandfather has dementia. He lives across seas and I do barely know him, also I don't speak his language and he doesn't speak mine so we can't communicate (in some ways this made his illness seem less real to me the few times I met him). It breaks my heart to know that I was never able to form a relationship with him while he was in better health. I'm not even sure he knows how old I am. People with dementia are such pure, sweet people ... the illness renders you a child in so many ways... :( x
What a familiar set of circumstances, I highly recommend residential care settings that offer a home in a house setting with a maximum of six residents. More one on one more personal care, safer environment, something definitely to consider, I know I am thankful for the new place my mother has found, thank you “Lily’s Promise ❣️
We believe to uphold the dignity and value of all human life and the fact that every human’s life is important and have to right to be treated with all respect
Yes you are right but as an old lady I have been in St Barts Hospital London last year in JULY , For the first time I was treated like a nothing in ward 4A By The head Charge Nurse and two of his staff I had delirium after open heart surgery I am 71 and latter heard this is common in older people after operations and he must of Known but he was horrible to me and was very rude and uncaring He and two of his staff took great pleasure in taking the mick out of me when I was seeing things and hearing things and I felt so bad and ill and to have them being so uncaring and not sending for anyone when I was having a full blown A Fib attack and delirious I felt my heart rolling in my Chest yet he sent for no one and left me with out Help after open heart surgery I felt it was because I was old and he really did not care if I lived or not if I could remember his name I would put it here I just remember his first name began with the letter A and he was in his middle or late 40s or early 50s , I think. One man was named Christos and a Lady Charge Nurse do not remember her name either but she was horrible to me I hope some one shows them this
Let us not throw stones! Everyone’s situation is different and they do what they feel is right for their loved one. Walk a mile in their shoes , the husband’s or children’s, it is their personal journey, and one that none of us were created for. When you have to deal with this in your family….and you will, THEN you will have to make decisions that other’s will find heartless and cruel.
This nursing home looks awful to me. I'm sure the staff are lovely, but the environment is terrible. Its noisy, looks like a hospital and residents are left queuing in a corridor with nothing stimulating to see and nothing to do and no interaction with anyone. the walls are plain, there is nothing homely or comforting about the place. No music, no colourful pictures or paintings, no activities going on. Residents left sat in wheelchairs in a circle doing and looking at what? Dementia care has to improve, we have to work towards one to one care or one carer to no more than two clients at any one time. These people are human beings who have led a normal and usually good life, family people, hard working people, left to waste their final days away sat in a wheelchair in a corridor.
**** off apart from your grammer your argument is facile you seem to be uncaring in the extreme. Dementia is not about economics. It is about the aging process. It is essential that as a society people with Dementia are cared for and looked after properly .
I work with Dementia Residents. You CANNOT have a lot of stimulation.... pictures all over the walls, etc. By the time these types of people are behind locked doors, they are so far gone, they do not understand or see anything. They need calmness, not noise, activities etc. It only agitates them. They cannot even know if it is day or night. That is why so many spend so much of the night up, if not sedated enough. These days, it is near impossible to use methods of sedation. It is considered cruel. Many would be so much better off sedated, till they can pass away, because they are just so violent. I get beaten and beaten all the time. Even if there are two carers to help with the hygiene, washing etc of a resident. Some are just so bloody violent. But their human rights come before the rights of the carers. These people in this place in the video aren't being medicated at all. This is not the truth of Dementia. These people are clearly not the violent type. So lucky them.
Mr private man I disagree. I work in dementia care and I too take a beating as all dementia carers do but we try to make our residents environment homely and comfortable with personal belongings about and familiar objects. Basic activities for those that are able. I believe in person centered care and you're right sadly some residents are so lost in their dementia they are unable to engage, so we do all we can to keep them comfortable and safe and protect what little dignity these poor people have left with the utmost respect for them. Dementia is an incredibly cruel and mind changing disease which makes some people hit out. I'm on the fence about sedation. When a resident is clearly being mentally tormented and tortured by their mind it's awful to see and I just want them to have some relief from it and I think if that was me in that situation I would rather be sedated and have some calm quiet time and some sleep than being half terrified out of my mind. I guess it's something we should be asking people about while they have capacity. Like the DNR we should ask them in the event of becoming tormented and so upset violent and agitated would they prefer to be sedated. I don't agree with sedating a person for the convenience of the carers. It's a big responsibility knowing what is right to do for each person. Sometimes it all just feels wrong
Calamity Housewife13 i am an ain in the high care dementia ward ..it is sad i often try & make it fun some clients cannot remember the here & now but i play lots of games like i start off with a saying its like water off a ducks??? they know this although could not say the full sentence themselves ..i have been appalled some days i walk in & my poor residents are stuck in blue chairs with tv on no sound & programmes that are disgusting ..yes its hard as we only have a certain time limit on so many to shower ect but at least do the job right i cant stand when they dont get looked after with dignity & respect
I can see that the German man was at the end of his rope when he put his wife in that facility in Thailand. One-on-one personal care 'round the clock sounds ideal... there is no way that the wife will want for anything, food or water... or break a hip due to a fall... or as in the case of Dawna Friesen's dad get assaulted by another resident because someone is always at her side. But even with such attentive care and luxurious surroundings I don't think that replaces a family member who can come visit frequently. If the man is retired could he not have moved himself to Thailand to be near to his wife?
So sad. The illness takes them away, you are put in a home for long term care, and they exist in a place they don’t know as they drift farther and farther away...
my heart breaks for the partner who has to make the decision to place a loved partner into care and worrying if they have made the right choice. We have to invest more time and care and make sure the right people are chosen for the nursing staff, money plays a large part,but it's not just the money
I know Suzanna's husband made the best choice for her. I'm sure his decision to leave her broke his heart but at least he knows she's well cared for with people trained to help her. I admire his strength in making such a heartbreaking decision. This disease is absolutely horrid and I pray one day they can find a cure!!! God bless all of these patients and their families.💔😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
A few ill-informed people commenting on who 'speaks English, or Dutch, German' or whatever. My European colleagues, to a man, are multilingual. They see themselves as part of an international community. Something Americans do not always share. However, with dementia, language loss is deeply personal and, idiosyncratic. I know people who, in the past having spoken more than one language..will 'lose English", or "lose Spanish", and regress, sometimes to a language spoken in childhood. It is the way dementia progresses, for every person.
My mother in law has dementia and I spend a lot of time with her some of her children want even visit her and the others live out of town and come as much as they can once or twice a year, she needs me,yes there's time when they remember when I spend time with my mother in I talk as if all is well if she tells me her mother visited her I just act as if she just left.
Thx 4 sharing the dutch part in amsterdam.... dementia is such a common...but a not cureable disease.....so sorry for them...and especially for the relatives...hope they ll find a cure....
From $8000/month to $3600 (or whatever) is STILL more than a U.S. citizen "earns" on social security. Way more. So the choices become die or be homeless. It is horrible. Even if they say you will still have a place there, you are warehoused with 1-4 roommates. Then there is the problem of adequate and caring staffing...which doesn't occur in the U.S. due to dollars being the bottom line.
+Chook G this is true. To get good quality care, takes money. This includes the caretakers (nurses, cna's, activities, physical therapists, clergy, paying rent on the property, electricity, housekeeping, training and the list goes on. The facility I work at takes very good care of their residents. But I've seen facilities where they don't. It does all come down to money, but what is the solution? I say we work on prevention.
I could never do that to my husband and my husband wouldn't do that to me. What happened to better or worse to sickness and health. And I would never put my parents in nursing home. It is our responsibility to take care of our parents because they took care of us.
You can’t know until it happens to you. Often families don’t do this until it is impossible to do anything else, or back when their loved one was lucid, they told them they preferred being in a home to having their family wear themselves out taking care of them.
I can relate to the reporter my mom is declining with. Dementia..breaks my heart ❤️ does the anchor have a website or a vlog ? I'd like to talk to her ....I'm going through the same thing ..I dread the future with my poor sweet mama
Gosh what a lonely place that Thai institute looks like. Taking family to completely different country, different food, different people, different weather and environment. What made me sad was the lady at the end and they just put her to sleep, they could have eased into the idea that she will go home soon to ease her anxiety as she would forget anyway.
There’s nothing wrong with lying to a dementia patient or going along with their delusions, if it helps to keep them happy. They are more likely to hold onto emotions than facts. If you watch more of these videos you’ll see that most carers agree this is the best approach.
I was born in Holland but have lived in Canada now for 3/4 of my life. Now that I am older I realize that The Netherlands has a much better social system than Canada. People are treated like they matter. in Holland, here in Canada the social system is horrendous and failing. I might go back to Holland. Let's all learn about what works in this world, and that we all do matter and deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Not like a number,...
I know this is about Dementia, but I just wanted to say that Alzheimer’s is also such an awful disease, my Grandma and Uncle had it. Thankfully they are no longer suffering with it, but I sure do miss them!!
People think dementia and Alzheimers are two different diseases. There are many different types of dementia, Alzheimers is one of them and the most common so some people use the terms interchangeably.
If I had to choose I would go to Holland, but at the end of the day as always it all depends on the money.. I could not leave a loved one in any of these places it just seems so cruel and selfish to do this.. So you have dementia let's just throw you away for someone else to look after you! Terrible............
maria parker you cant judge till you are in that situation. I said I would never put my mother in a home but when she got quite bad she went to the local care home (which was lovely) for a few hours a day during the week. She loved it there and after a few weeks she would get distressed each day, when coming back to her own home. She would keep saying she wanted to go home, she wanted to be with the people. She didn’t know who we were and we couldn’t give the quality of care she got there. By that I mean we were all doing our best, but it was constant care that she needed because she had become inlcontanent and she would take her pads out and hide them and then have a problem. She didn’t recognise what food or drink was. She didn’t understand about washing herself. She needed the expert help from people who knew how to cope, who also were able to get a nights sleep because they could go home and leave the job to someone else for a few hours. Visiting my mother in the home was such a joy, compared to life with her at home. She was well cared for and I could be a daughter again concentrating on the love.
This video was uploaded 8 yrs. ago, it’s disappointing to see so little changes with Dementia care in general. I have been working with people living with dementia for nearly 20 yrs. now. I have recently changed vocation to education. I’m hoping to educate more Carers on Dementia using Strength Based approach. My biggest disappointment is funding focus mainly on facilities and staff ratio as opposed to quality and education of Staff. It’s frustrating watching the family and staff in this video lacking the basic education on Validation and Orientation therapies used as a communication strategy. But it gives me hope knowing better educated carers are coming.
I am 74, a bit forgetful, things like trying to use the wrong key, leaving lights on, remembering peoples names until I need the name to talk to them. I feel that when a mind is buggered, time to go. Not enough young people in the near future to look after all of us old duffers. I have a prepared painless, not at all unpleasant finish for me. Do not want to go early but hope to still remember how before it is too late.
You’re brave and sensible. But it could be tricky to find the right timing. There’s a film called “Still Alice” about exactly this, and it is a sad one.
You won’t know until it happens to you. When your parent thinks you are a stranger and is scared of you, and they poop in the closet, and insists it is 1975, and they accuse the carer you have coming in of stealing… then unconditional love may not be enough.
My doctor wants to have my brain scan to confirmed that I have young onset dementia. I did the memory test. It shows that I am in the early stage. They need the brain scan to confirmed it. I tend to forget things. I go to the kitchen to do something and end up wondering why I came to the kitchen. I loosed keys and other things. All the signs are there. I quest I am doom. I feel horrible that family members will have to end up taking care of me. I do not want to be out of control of my life. I am loss and sad.
Sorry you're going thru this. My husband is in moderate stage with mixed dementia but we just keep going on with whatever we can. We just say.. "It is what it is"... He takes pills to keep him stable but it will not stop the progression, we still travel, go to our church, keep busy but there's a lot of things he's finding difficult, no driving, hardly any motivation, and no real appetite. There will come a time when he'll be living in the past but there's nothing wrong with that. He enjoyed his childhood and looks forward to thinking his parents are alive, even if it means forgetting me, his sons and grandchildren. Get your diagnosis, be proactive, do research while you can and embrace it.... at some point no more responsibilities, others doing the paperwork and worrying as you slip into a new life.
The villages are wonderful and should be available in every country, so people don't have to leave their families, but why is the man in Manitoba left sitting in a corridor all the time?
This is how our beloved elders should be treated. Thank you. Your country seems to value its elders.
I can barely watch this. My mom suffered from dementia. Painful time. After she passed my dad then got Parkinsons. He kept his mind up until the very end. Also very tough. So thankful for my hope I Christ.
Robin Williams had the best medicine for dementia. I watched my father who was a trauma surgeon get dementia. He slowly went through hell losing his dignity and self. He died by forgetting how to swallow and starved to death. My mother got dementia 4 months after my father died and she is in stage 6 right now. It has been hell on earth for her and myself and I often feel confused when I have days wishing her end to come. When my time comes to get dementia I will go the way of Robin Williams
I don’t blame you… you know in a hundred years we will look back in horror at how we kept helpless empty sick people alive for years to profit from them … the people in this video are able to enjoy their life, but when you get to the starving to death stage…why ..
I worked in a care home around the elderly with dementia and that happened to a few of the residents. I remember a gentleman who died like this, it was so sad. Untill you see someone get like that you realise human euthanasia IS the only ethical option sometimes.
Most the patients I saw passed away before getting to that stage though. The common thing was they had a fall, and the injury lead to infections that took them.
We had one lady who was 103 who had dementia and one day she got up to “go to church” and she fel and broke her hip. It strained her body too much and she died. She lost the ability to speak but she could still eat and seemed to recognise people.
The saddest part to me is most people lack compassion for dementia patients. They have no patience too, which for me was hard to relate to. I don’t think I could sleep at night if I kept getting mad at a confused person. I found a positive distraction was always better than fighting with them.
yes. this is my mom right now. i’d do the same as Robin. It’s ruined so much for the entire family.
I am in Canada. My mother is in a private long term care residence and she loves it. In rare moments of lucidity she shared that she was at peace where she is. My sister and I take turns to visit her weekly , take her outside , take her for haircuts and pedicure on a monthly basis at the residence. There is a plethora of activities she elects to participate or not. She has her own room with a bathroom and
She spends her days in the communal area with her friends. She is not coherent anymore but she has found comfort and peace at that residence. My heart is at peace .
Also from Canada. I am so happy you were able to find good care for your mother. Unfortunately, while I was able to find care for my mum in her late 80's which looked great on first blush, we soon realized that the care was not as kind and patient as we had hoped. Always a shortage of staff and often questionable over-medication. I visited her a minimum of three times a week and we even had some private nursing but ultimately I did not feel she was happy or completely safe. If it happens to me, I will not go into a nursing home.
As a retired Nurse, I personally find it disgusting how some individuals are making fun of this disease. It is nothing to laugh at. I can only hope and pray that those making such a 'joke' out of it never come down with it themselves.
My parents died relatively young and Although I miss them everyday I often think they’ve been spared a living hell. Having worked in high dependency dementia units I’m glad my parents are no longer here.
Me too
We are putting our Dad into care next Tuesday;Mum and Dad have been married 63 years'and for the first time,he is never coming home.The whole family ,especially Mum is going through a heatbreaking experience-we are caring for a different Dad now.
+Graeme Brown Just don't loose your dad, he is there, he just can't express it. How is he doing in the facility?
This doc was inspired by my Dad. I hope that it gives viewers a new perspective on a disease that continues to confound researchers in search of a cure. I'm very proud to have written and directed this piece, but also terrific editing by Jon Wong, and shooting by Kirk Neff..
My dad has this darn ilness too
Alzheimer's disease is type 3 diabetes. it is reversible.
LotusReach stop it. It is NOT reverseable.
Thank you so much for all the time and effort you put on this. May your dad be resting in peace.
u don't do this job for the money u do it because of the love that's in ur heart to b able to care and look after that generation is an honour and I'm grateful that I have that chance 😍
If possible, could you give an update to how you felt 3 years ago and how you feel or think about Dementia now? Did you have much or any “real world” experience with Dementia and/or Alzheimer’s 3 years ago? I was also wondering if you are a family member that is a live in caregiver or a nurse? If you can it would be very helpful to me if you could answer those questions I would be very grateful. Thanks either way. Take care.
@@KindMeg i guess she meant she is a nurse..
that is very true and it is always a blessing.
FAR too many people do it for “the money” and it’s tragic. Just google “dementia abuse” and you’ll see...
My Dad was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. The man we knew has evaporated and the most basic parts of his personality remain. He is helpless, but full of intention, our hearts broken.
It gets worse.
So sorry. 😢. My Mom has it also. Heartbreaking 💔. We have to be strong for them. I can’t help but cry myself to sleep knowing what’s to come for her. We’re in this together. Sending hugs and prayers.
Im sorry it is such a bummer to live with in the family. I think of dads end. It just makes me cry 😢 it's a terrible end of life. So misunderstood, caretakers give good help, but there aren't enough of them. They need to payed more!! We can look back on our life, social security helps, but inflation will eat that up. It is just hard times for everyone. I witnessed someone living under a tart😢
This is a wonderfully executed documentary. It goes beyond information giving. It shows examples of innovative approaches to support and the reality of what faces many people living with dementia in our, so-called, advanced western society. I am grateful to the programme makers for giving this to me.
How hard it must've been for that poor man to leave his wife alone in that place, It must've been torture.
For her.He dumped her
B. Nyob, you’re an inconsiderate person to think that he’s dumped his wife when you have no idea how difficult it is to care for someone with memory problems.
this makes me cry. watching a mind slip away; ones own memories disappearing; to be put away
So sad, but anyone who has looked after a loved one with dementia will know how hard it is physically and mentally. My heart goes out to anyone/everyone affected by Alzheimer/Dementia. A huge shout out to any caregiver doing this alone! I feel your journey. I feel your pain because I've been there. My mom was also diagnosed in her 60s. Feeling absolutely shattered, heartbroken and drained , working with different physicians across the country with little or no improvement. I was exhausted and overwhelmed to look any further. Crying a lot through frustration, anger and despair, But today with the help of Homeocure Worldwide Natural Medicine, my mother is completely healthy and well again. I think we only need more support and sunlight to overcome this dreadful disease. Search for support regardless and don't stop until you get it. With Homeocure Worldwide treatment, there is hope, don't give up! Check out this blog for useful info️; homeocureworldwide.blogspot.com, Be it any condition, natural treatment and a healthy diet is a road to fast recovery.
@@alicesamekbenoit5990 I only wish that all of us whose loved ones are suffering with dementia ( my daddy is 86 and has “ mixed dementia.
1. Numerous TIA strokes
2. Alzheimer’s ( moderate)
3. Ischemic stroke in July
I have taken many steps to set things up to let daddy stay in his own home( steps away from my house)until it becomes too difficult
mentally or physically for me as we continue this sad journey.
If only we had places like these to care for our loved ones and my husband ( whose disabled himself(71) and I could visit daddy regularly and go on with my life as his daughter not mainly his caregiver.😏
My grandmother is 85 and has dementia. I've been caring for her for almost 3 years and its sad to watch how much she's changed. Every day is a challenge but I always try to put myself in her shoes. I miss who she used to be but I'm keeping her as happy and comfortable as I possibly can!
So sad, but anyone who has looked after a loved one with dementia will know how hard it is physically and mentally. My heart goes out to anyone/everyone affected by Alzheimer/Dementia. A huge shout out to any caregiver doing this alone! I feel your journey. I feel your pain because I've been there. My mom was also diagnosed in her 60s. Feeling absolutely shattered, heartbroken and drained , working with different physicians across the country with little or no improvement. I was exhausted and overwhelmed to look any further. Crying a lot through frustration, anger and despair, But today with the help of Homeocure Worldwide Natural Medicine, my mother is completely healthy and well again. I think we only need more support and sunlight to overcome this dreadful disease. Search for support regardless and don't stop until you get it. With Homeocure Worldwide treatment, there is hope, don't give up! Check out this blog for useful info️; homeocureworldwide.blogspot.com, Be it any condition, natural treatment and a healthy diet is a road to fast recovery.
I truly hope you are doing well and you grand mother is still OK... but if not may she RIP... XOX
This is an amazing facility. I have so much respect for the facilitators and residents. It is such a contrast to the awful nursing homes in the states. Such a beautiful facility.
To all those with or caring for someone with any form of dementia, my heart goes out to you. My mother died of dementia a few years ago. It is a terrible disease but with love and humour you can find some golden moments to treasure, even in very dark times. Hold on to these.
When she eventually died it was a great relief as her life had diminished to such an extent. Once she had died I found I could once again remember her as a whole person. It was a great joy. I felt she was inside me, whole again.
To those critical of others who are choosing to place their loved ones in to the care of others, please don’t judge unless you have walked in their shoes.
You cant judge till you are in that situation.
I said I would never put my mother in a home, but when she got quite bad she was going to the local care home (which was lovely) for a few hours a day during the week. She loved it there and after a few weeks she would get distressed each day, when coming back to her own home. She would keep saying she wanted to go home, she wanted to be with the people. She didn’t know who we were and we couldn’t give the quality of care she got there. By that I mean we were all doing our best, but it was constant care that she needed. She had become inlcontanent and she would take her pads out and hide them and then have a problem. She didn’t recognise what food or drink was. She didn’t understand about washing herself. She needed the expert help from people who knew how to cope, who also were able to get a nights sleep because they could go home and leave the job to someone else for a few hours. Visiting my mother in the home was such a joy, compared to life with her at home. She was well cared for and I could be a daughter again concentrating on the love.
It is important to find a place you can trust if you have to hand the care of your loved one over to others. Our local home was based on a religion, and although my mother hadn’t been a regular church goer, they welcomed her with love and care. The care was fantastic. We could visit her any time 24/7. There were always staff about so if I had wanted to turn up at 2pm I could have done so and had a cup of tea with the carers. The place looked and smelt good and the atmosphere happy. I always left feeling happier than when I arrived.
Leaving her the first day was dreadful, I felt so guilty and I sat in the car and cried my heart out. We left her because it was the best for her. She was happier there. I even felt jealous of the carers as they got to be so important in her life. But I couldn’t do for her all that they could.
When she fell ill and had to go to hospital, one of the carers went to the hospital with her and stayed with her until she was sure that she was going to be cared for appropriately. She was a young girl but she stood up for my mum against doctors who didn’t understand dementia. She stayed and helped my mum, better than I could, to do the thing the doctors needed her to do. I learnt a lot from her and we did all we could to continue that level of support once she had to leave. Being in hospital is terrible for people with dementia. They don’t understand what is happening. Lots of strange noises etc. We stayed with her all the time on a family rota. My son did nights, my sister did mornings and I did afternoons. We found singing to her helped the most, so we sang nearly all the time. Eventually she was moved to a wonderful dementia ward and we thought she was safe. So we left her during the day ( we all had full time jobs we needed to keep up with). We had found a lovely nursing home close to the hospital with a lovely view and were looking forward to moving her there in the next few days.
Sadly a doctor from a different part of the hospital decided to send her for an X-ray while we weren’t there. Against our strong request not to do anything like this when we weren’t there. She wasn’t walking because she had forgotten how to. The doctor wanted to see if there was something wrong with her legs! She had already had two xrays to check this during the previous weeks, nothing wrong with her legs! I arrived to see her that evening. She was rocking, not communicating and I could tell she was traumatised by something. I asked the nurse and he said she had been sent for an X-ray. I was so upset for her as she was clearly terrified. I did all I could to get her to eat something as the nurses couldn’t get her to, and calmed her till she could snuggle down with her teddy. We had got her a lovely teddy and she had spent hours talking to it and stroking it while in hospital. Very calming. She died the next morning.
This is a scary disease that robs us of our loved ones piece by piece.
Please send love not judgment to all those coping with these difficult decisions. You feel guilt enough without others making judgments. If you have this diagnosis I send you so much love and suggest that you please make it clear what care you want etc while you can. My great grandmother had had dementia so my mother knew how difficult it was, and when she was younger, and well, she had told me that if ever she had dementia that we could put her in a home. Knowing this did help once I realised we weren’t copping anymore.
I do not share your winging. Quit your work and take on caring for you Mom (it is full time-job). Why to shift it to somebody else? No? Then euthanasia is the best decision. By the way, if as you say your grandma got dementia and then your mom, it is very likely you will get it as well. Good luck.
mrs. londy the important thing was to provide my mother with the best care, and we were not skilled enough. The care she received in the home was first class 24/7 and much better than anything we were capable of doing. She was clearly happier and so were we. It improved her last few years and we will always be eternally grateful for the wonderful, trained carers who looked after her in the home. If I do get the same diagnosis and still have wits enough, I will book myself in to the same home and I have asked my children to do it if I can’t. It is a scary thought to lose control over ones own life, but I know there I will be treated with respect and love, and cared for in a way that will meet my needs, as they arise, by skilled professionals.
Liz Pope Hey Liz, thank you for sharing your experience, my mother got early onset Behavioral frontal temporal dementia. In India we have no good care homes and hardly any experienced help. We feel like we’re living in hell and you’re right, no one should judge anyone’s decision to put their loved one in a care home. It’s not like you’re trying to dump the person and have a great time, it’s just the situation gets so out of hand that you cannot provide quality care any further. You did the best you could and we all are, a caregivers pain cannot be understood by the general population not facing this disease. Thank you for your post again, it made me feel not so alone.
Richa Gupta I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. You are right, here we are so lucky to be able to find wonderful care homes here (some aren’t wonderful but I have seen more that are). I wish I could help you, it is such a tough time. There is a saying “this too shall pass”, it has helped me remember that one day there will be a time beyond the suffering of now. When your having a rough day just say that to yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope you are able to find some help.
@Liz Pope - God bless you for your kind post which will undoubtedly help many others; it has already helped me. I'm single, an only child, with no children. My mother has always been my best friend and the most precious person on earth to me. When she was in her 70's, although in excellent health, I began to fear the inevitable time I would lose her, but never imagined the slow loss of Alzheimers. Her father developed Alzheimers in his mid-80's and spent the last three years in a lovely assisted living facility as, despite the 24/7 caregiving, he still became a danger to himself by slipping away and proceeding to chop down a tree in their yard or something similar. Even though she lived in another state, my mother spent a great part of three years overseeing her father's care as the other members of the family "didn't feel comfortable talking to Drs" so she truly understood Alzheimers and the difficulty for caregivers.
The latter part of 2018 was when my step-father first noticed memory issues with my mother. She was 84 at the time and he 86. My mother took care of everything in their home, including bill paying so when their water was turned off due to non-payment, SF (step-father) knew something was wrong. Looking back, I believe Mother knew she was developing dementia and cleverly hiding it. One example is that she began isolating and didn't want to go out at all. SF contacted my mother's Dr. for a referral to a neurologist for an exam. Dr. refused & said to my mother at her next visit, "Are they trying to put you in a nursing home?" WOW!!! That began two years of my mother absolutely refusing to take ANY medication because "You're trying to put me in a nursing home." We tried to convince her we wanted to do just the opposite. We lost six months of care for her when she refused to see any Dr. and quickly went from 139 lbs. to 126 (She's 5'7") and often slept 20 hours/day. I was frantic she was dying. My SF and I asked our respective Drs. what to do in the case of an adult who clearly needed medical attention but could still move well and, if one didn't know her, seemed coherent. Both Drs. said it came down to patients rights and if Mother refused to see a Dr., we couldn't force her.
When she dropped to 117 lbs and was extremely weak, she asked for me to take her to her Dr. This time I went INTO the examining room with her (pretty much had to carry her in she was so weak) and in a "CYA" move, the Dr. ordered every type of medical test from a colonoscopy to entire body scans that she didn't need. We only agreed on the less invasive ones but that Dr. still didn't "get it." SF finally managed to get her into a neurologist who diagnosed "mild cognitive impairment" but later told my SF who is also a patient there for a different condition that she does have Alzheimers. Neuro prescribed Aricept which had done wonders for my mother's mother when she, too, developed memory impairment. Mother was so thrilled she only had "mild cognitive impairment," took her meds, and was mentally "herself" again plus began gaining weight. However, when she was feeling well, she again refused the medication and became verbally aggressive/combative which is NOT my mother. My SF, also stubborn, and was now 88 and worn out, began setting them out with her breakfast on the promise she would take the meds...she didn't and her memory nose-dived.
Four months ago Mother began having full-on visual & auditory hallucinations, including preparing and serving food to family members from out of state....who weren't there. For two years she had accused my SF of having affairs (common with dementia patients) but they now kicked up a notch and the "culprit" was one of her sisters-in-law. At next appt. with neuro, he prescribed an anti-hallucinogenic med which worked...when she took it. In her lucid moments I asked if she could remember what the "voices" in her head were like. (I'm a retired mental health counselor.) It was identical to what those with schizophrenia report - voices telling her how bad she was, then she'd hear her sister-in-law's voice saying SF won't continue living with a "sick woman; he'll find himself a better wife" and sometimes she said the voices "mocked her." As soon as the "med wars" began again, she went into major hallucinations, delusions & paranoia. SF called me one morning because she'd locked herself into her bedroom & I could usually talk her down. This time she screamed for me to go away then began pounding on the inside of the locked door yelling help. SF took the door handle off; Mother was crouched on the floor like a cornered animal and flinched if either of us walked toward her. I sat on the floor, and tried everything I knew, including singing her favorite hymns, to calm her and get her out of the bedroom. She wouldn't speak to me and just glared - the eeriest look I've ever seen out of her eyes. SF thanked me for trying & said she'd probably fall asleep in there. Several hours later, SF called saying she'd apparently walked out of the house while he was napping (she'd never done that before) & he was calling 911. By the time I raced over, thankfully a police officer had found her SITTING in the middle of the neighborhood road and brought her home. She'd told the police her daughter had "mental problems" and was "having an affair with her husband." Talk about a punch to the gut when I heard that!!! Even knowing it wasn't "her" but delusions was a knife through the heart. She was taken by law to a psych hospital (happily walked to the police car on the arm of the officer like she was going to the prom) where she stayed 10 days. The nurses reported her as "a lovely woman," "very sweet," "spending time in the common areas with other patients" and they had no problem giving her her meds. Again, due to her being coherent and speaking very well, unless one knew the entire backstory & that everything she said was false she seems very believable.
During her time in the hospital, SF and I agreed we could no longer care for her at home. He was now 89 and Mother was refusing to allow me to come to the house. Continued heartbreak for me since we were so close. I have NO ONE besides my mother. Step-father is also an only child. He has a daughter my age with severe health problems that he formerly saw maybe 1-2x/year; she is widowed and also has no children so it's just the two of us to care for mother. Since Sept. 9 Mother has been in a Senior Living facility that includes a locked section for memory care. It reminds me of one of the places in the video - it was originally a luxury hotel (we live in a tourist-destination near the beach) that was rehabbed into 55+ apartments and a locked section for memory care. It is even located directly behind my apartment complex. I praise God that our Governor opened nursing home/facility visitation the same week my Mother was admitted. I had nightmares about no one being able to check on her care. She has a studio apartment that she apparently really likes, especially the view - a busy city area. My step-sister visited her once, and my step-father twice thus far. She can only have one visitor/week in her room with the visitor wearing COMPLETE PPE and multiple visits in the outside patio area where plexi-glass with "touch sensors" separates her from the visitor. SF has moved some of her favorite furniture into her apartment and reports that she seems very content there and MUCH calmer - proof that taking her meds does help. I didn't want to see her until the meds had taken hold and she was out of the "affair" delusion but, in the meantime, I've gone into a very deep depression. I was apparently running on adrenaline the last two+ years - never sleeping well; afraid of that "phone call in the night," staying busy taking her to Dr. appointments, etc. and always long talks on the phone with my mother. Now all that is gone and I wake up in the night crying and screaming, "I've lost my mother." For the last 10 days I haven't gone out of my apartment until this morning when I ran totally out of food, then did so at 4 am so I didn't have to get cleaned up, I eat whatever then take all the natural "calming supplements" I have plus my prescribed anti-anxiety med and sleep sometimes for 18+ hours. I pray when I do go see my mother she is out of the "delusion phase" and realizes I'm her only child again. On the plus side, I know my mother is safe, well-fed, and content.
Again, those who say it's "horrible to put a loved one into a care facility" - you've likely never cared for someone with dementia. It's not the same as someone with another disease but whose mind is intact and is compliant with meds - not locking themselves in a room, nor getting dressed and sitting in the middle of the street due to hallucinations. Shame on all of you and again, God bless you @Liz Pope.
the villages in d netherlands and thailand r sooo welcoming....soo beautiful....a normal life in a community...
The relatives and carers of people with dementia face a lot of challenges in dealing with loved ones. They need to be emotionally strong yet remain warmhearted to their loved ones. Don't let them feel alone.
My 87 year old husband has dementia and just fell and broke his right hip.All of his health has changed quickly over one single year. He is in rehab until he can recover and go back into assisted living.
thank you for putting up this video have a better understanding of dementia
WOW! NL and Thailand are light years ahead of USA, UK, Canada etc, for care and facility. Very enlightening to know such exists.
I retired in 2006 to Danbury, Ct. My younger sister retired in 2014, at 64, to Ridgefield, Ct. She worked as a journalist for NBC, at Rockefeller Center, for over 30 yrs.She was a world traveler. She started forgetting everything, almost all at once. Now 5 yrs later, she is wheelchair bound, diapers, spoon fed, and tound the clock caregivers in her home. Her throat is starting to constrict. She was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia, which is part Parkinsons. She is almost non verbal. Blessings to your friends and family.
Thailand: One of the old ladies wiped her tears, I'm sure she knows her husband is leaving. The other was very homesick. I feel so sad.
I'm glad that dementia is no longer seen as just part of the aging process.
I live with my nan who has dementia. She's stuck in the period of her life where she's 40 and I'm not even born yet. she doesn't know who I am and constantly asks me to leave which is heart breaking. my grandad refuses to put her in a care home but I'm constantly taking slippers out the microwave or finding knives hidden in underwear drawers. It's the saddest period of my life to date and I feel like I'm in mourning already. I've lost the nan who would make me cookies and have conversations with me when I'm sad. It's one of the cruellest diseases.
I'm sorry to hear that, as a geriatric care specialist I know what you are going through. I can't even imagine if it were one of my family members who had the disease. i wish you the best of luck.
agnes perry a doctor that can cure cancer, aids, HIV, and dementia. Sounds too good to be true and you know what they say if it sounds to good to be true it usually is. Stop trying to scam people who are sick.
+Alice Wyatt
Hold on :)
+agnes perry
I have run into a few trolls like everyone but your comment is the most horrendous and deliberately painful thing ive ever read. Please try and control this darkness in you, this desire to hurt is evil and will lead you to a solitary, sad and tormented life.
Reach for the light,
Follow Love. I hope you find happiness
+agnes perry Have you no shame!?? You're attempting to scam the morning family of a suffering, dying person. What a disgusting thing to do. Life is short - don't waste it hurting others! Get a hobby, scrapbook, read, or start bodybuilding. Just don't scam little old ladies and their families.
The love shown by husbands and wives and family in general is amazing.... watching this I have tears of joy, sadness and dred that I may end up like this or worse my wife has this.....
Quite an emotional roller coaster indeed..... but the love here is exactly what the world needs to fix itself.
It's just me & my mentally ill sister & my brother (who is no help) taking care of our Mom..can't afford to put her in a facility..it's been non-stop...I'm suicidal..trying to hang on..talked to shrink..no help..just want it all to end. It's such a horrific disease...God help me & our family..Please!!!!
scneese64 so sorry to hear about your struggles. Please hang in there, I know it’s easier said than done. My family and I are currently taking care of my dad who has dementia. I agree it takes a toll on you but all we can do is believe we can come out of this stronger
@@ceciliaf1169 Thank you Cecillia for your kind words of encouragement..it truly helps me when other people (like yourself) understand what we're going through. Our Mom is in the latter part of her illness, combative, curses non-stop, no empathy, etc. I do, of course, understand she has no control over it but unfortunately so much of our family & friends do not understand it fully so they've all quit calling or coming to see her. Breaks my heart, I've educated them about her illness but they still refuse any contact with her..just breaks my heart, so; again, thank you so much for commenting..I'm sending so much Love to you, your Dad & all your family & friends. God bless you Cecillia!! xo Suzanne
scneese64 I think it is important to send out positivity more than ever especially with these crazy times, even with those who we may not personally know. At the end of the day we are all human and need others for support. Unfortunately those people who no longer come around do not and may not ever understand what we may go through unless they go through it themselves. Thank you so much for your words as well in this difficult time for us. Wishing you all the best and just know you are not alone. This will pass and in the end what matters is that you did your best and you will be at peace with that. Many prayers 🌺🌹🌸
@@ceciliaf1169 Thank you so much Cecilia..You are the first person whom truly understands..your words touched my heart & soul more than you know. I have been feeling so alone..I have 1 friend that has stood by me..all others have quit calling or coming to see me for they know I have no free time to do fun things so; yes, I have most definitely found out who is a true friend. So sad but true for I've always been there for them, I'm 55 years old, should have already learned that lesson, but I don't look at it as a negative, God knew I needed to learn that! Wow, again..thank you for your heartfelt words..I wish you & your family peace as well..with someone like yourself in this world..it does make me want to stay here..God bless you for he blessed me when you responded to me! Much Love, Suzanne (Idaho)
scneese64 I’ve realized that “friends” do come and go. My circle is very small, and I’m ok with that. There is a saying in Spanish that goes, better alone than with bad company. In true times of need you do realize who your real friends are. I’m 34 and living in CT. Sending positive energy your way!
My friend Judy could sing with the voice of an angel. Often, her singing and guitar playing coaxed seniors out of catatonic states, and they joined her in singing along and clapping their hands. Music animates.
If you work as a carer and only think about your wages,You're gonna be broke,not literally but mentally and physically.Always take your time and do it with heart.Heartbreaking😢Great video. X
I think this is absolutely an amazing little village! There should be such places all over the world. Unfortunately, there are many corrupt politicians that would get their fingers in the pie and the patients would suffer!
Great video! When i cared for Rose with dementia, it was as if she left her body and an evil spirit came in to cause havoc. We talk about abuse to the patient, but what about abuse to the caregiver? I am concerned with this illness growing at alarming rates. The Inspired Caregiver book was written to help the caregiver stay as healthy as possible. Caregivers really have to have patience when caring for someone with dementia and we have to live in their world- much easier. Thanks again for this great video!
The Inspired Caregiver Book i totally agree
WOW! A dozen aides for 102 pts? Lucky ducks! I worked at a Masonic Home in KS for 16 yrs (but worked nursing for A30 yrs, 16 at masonic) @ a 120 bd fac and we felt lucky if we had 1 aide per hall (4 halls) + a bath aide. I worked as a cna/crta & I was in charge of the evening restorative dining prog. I repaired w/c's walkers, electric beds & would sneak the key to the boiler rm to up the thermostat so ppl could at least get a hot bath. i also did house keeping, laundry & dietary. If i had to wait on them to do their job, i would never get mine done. But alas, i work no more due to early onset Dementia. And it sucks. I'm only 54. Wait..my husbad says i'm 55 but i don't believe him. I was 40 & still working when i first notice my forgetfulness. Drs said nothing wrong with me but i knew better. I finally quit working after leaving during a shift, thinking work was done. I had only been there an hour! I,m terribly forgetful & no longer drive due to getting lost. As you can see, i can still type but make lots of errors. Hubby is helping me & says hello. I can still remember the past pretty good. Its everyday things that i forget. I wish we could afford the one in the Netherlands. it looked really nice. Hubby says time for bed. Goodnight.
Something like this could never happen here in the USA. Here it's all about the money and $8000/month is beyond most people's abilities, even with medical insurance.
Agreed..I've been praying for a miracle for a place for Mom..still waiting for miracle.
Tragic. :(
Yea it’s outrageous how profitable this disease is
Im 33 - I was told recently Im on my way to this -
dont assume that everyone who has these conditions is old - that's a misguided assumption...
May I ask how you know this ?
My husband was diagnosed at age 53
my grandpa passed away from dementia at the beginning of 2018 and i miss him every day.
My mother has dementia and lives with me- it's a truly awful degenerative disease.
Thank you
TheGlamorouUberRUclipsr
6 to 8 soft boiled eggs a day
Dementia is a cholesterol defencies disease
Tools of the trade teapot
Mohammad Arif *Idiot. Don't you think that these desperate people has tried EVERYTHING? and if your so called "cure" worked, it would already been spread like wildfire around the world.*
@@NickanM Exactly. Boiled eggs?? That's the secret these scientists have missed all these years?? Lol
this is scarier than any horror movie
This is such a hard thing to watch. My grandmother is dealing with this & unfortunately I can't help. Tough & heartbreaking
it sooo saddening......too painful
the lady in d blue scarf is so cheerful
My heart aches so terribly for the families, those with the disease and the decisions that they have to make. My mom is 75 and while mentally sound, I put myself in the place of those here and could feel my heart break at the thought of having to leave her somewhere. I can’t imagine what they have gone though. I don’t know how I will face it if it comes to that for my mom. So very sad and painful.
There is no way I would leave my loved one in another country, I would find a way for mine to be cared for near me. People are no different in any part of the world, even if there is 1:1 caregiving there is no guarantee that the caregiver is good or bad. I would have to be near enough to be able to frequently actually see my loved one.
The tragedy is that survivors lose their loved one twice: once to dementia and then to death.
YourAnjl there are no survivors of dementia - it's a terminal illness.
***** By survivors I mean the loved ones, not the dementia patient.
YourAnjl ya its like you lose someone and then wait until there shell dies to get closure.
YourAnjl z
My husband says the same about his mum, who has Alzheimer's
Mom has moderate dementia and it kills me wish mom could go to that village ...we live in the US and I wish she had that opportunity
Im surprised that this documentry hasnt been made in the uk..im an elderly care nurse and i see this all the time.....its one of the biggest issues affecting healthcare right now and its heartbreaking.....americans pay for thier healthcare here its all free..yet when u cant make them better or they lose some of their self its your fault. Its true that dimentia patients dont get the care they need.....because in order to do that every single person needs that someone to understand them and it makes u feel like crap that u cant do it.
I REFUSE to believe EVERYONE will get dementia eventually. I have known people over 100 years old who NEVER GOT IT. That remark was just ridiculous.
Lulu Hoop Experts with the most experience and knowledge of dementia all concur that dementia IS NOT INEVITABLE. You are correct Lulu. It won't come to us all. However we must assume that we might get it, and plan accordingly. Financially by putting as much aside as we can so that we are cared for properly, emotionally by educating ourselves and those around us about it, mentally by doing as much as we can to "exercise" our brains constantly and living as healthy lives as we can and most of all, by contributing to dementia research in the hope that one day there may be a cure or prevention for this sad disease.
Lulu Hoop ...good, because otherwise you'd be believing in something that's false. 1 in 10 people over 65 are diagnosed with dementia - that's pretty good odds. until you're over 90...then it's 1 in 3!
Lulu Hoop it does seems quite strange. I feel that it is being forced upon humanity. NOTHING natural.
Expect to get it? that is so very passive and ignorant.
I mean... If we all survived long enough our brains would deteriorate and mimic these symptoms. Most people just die of other things before it happens. I think that stimulation in old age is one of the best preventative measures. Staying active and keeping the mind sharp with various things. Obviously this isn't a perfect measure but I really think sitting around doing the same boring things everyday really contributes to this horrible disease
I wish the US had one of these
it's impressive that someone still prioritizes the quality of life and service provided, and not much of the financial return, in running a place like the one in Thailand.
peters mother is very lucky to still b with her son and his fmly
Praying for a cure 💜💜💜💜
My grandfather has dementia. He lives across seas and I do barely know him, also I don't speak his language and he doesn't speak mine so we can't communicate (in some ways this made his illness seem less real to me the few times I met him). It breaks my heart to know that I was never able to form a relationship with him while he was in better health. I'm not even sure he knows how old I am. People with dementia are such pure, sweet people ... the illness renders you a child in so many ways... :( x
Yes they become our babies and we care for them.
Not all those with dementia are sweet, some are violent and cross but they are still ours to care for with love. There but for god go I!
Im Richard from the states. & i love your programing in Canada. Excellent work at 16x9 thank u :)
If I ever get this disease I will end my life before I get to the point someone needs to care for me.
Get an 'advanced directive' in place that states you wish for euthanasia so you don't end up as a vegetable without a choice. God bless
What a familiar set of circumstances, I highly recommend residential care settings that offer a home in a house setting with a maximum of six residents. More one on one more personal care, safer environment, something definitely to consider, I know I am thankful for the new place my mother has found, thank you “Lily’s Promise ❣️
We believe to uphold the dignity and value of all human life and the fact that every human’s life is important and have to right to be treated with all respect
Yes you are right but as an old lady I have been in St Barts Hospital London last year in JULY , For the first time I was treated like a nothing in ward 4A By The head Charge Nurse and two of his staff I had delirium after open heart surgery I am 71 and latter heard this is common in older people after operations and he must of Known but he was horrible to me and was very rude and uncaring He and two of his staff took great pleasure in taking the mick out of me when I was seeing things and hearing things and I felt so bad and ill and to have them being so uncaring and not sending for anyone when I was having a full blown A Fib attack and delirious I felt my heart rolling in my Chest yet he sent for no one and left me with out Help after open heart surgery I felt it was because I was old and he really did not care if I lived or not if I could remember his name I would put it here I just remember his first name began with the letter A and he was in his middle or late 40s or early 50s , I think. One man was named Christos and a Lady Charge Nurse do not remember her name either but she was horrible to me I hope some one shows them this
@@christinedavis5813 , do you think it is reasonable to have a heart operation at 71? How long are you planning to live?
So cruel so sad my late mum had it for long time it’s devastating an cruel regards uk 🇬🇧
well presented video lovely village Thailand
Wish I could send mom to,the Thailand 4 star hotel she deserves better care than what she gets here in the US
Let us not throw stones! Everyone’s situation is different and they do what they feel is right for their loved one. Walk a mile in their shoes , the husband’s or children’s, it is their personal journey, and one that none of us were created for. When you have to deal with this in your family….and you will, THEN you will have to make decisions that other’s will find heartless and cruel.
All I can add is, if possible, have an honest conversation with your parents about their wishes while they are still in possession of their faculties.
This nursing home looks awful to me. I'm sure the staff are lovely, but the environment is terrible. Its noisy, looks like a hospital and residents are left queuing in a corridor with nothing stimulating to see and nothing to do and no interaction with anyone. the walls are plain, there is nothing homely or comforting about the place. No music, no colourful pictures or paintings, no activities going on. Residents left sat in wheelchairs in a circle doing and looking at what? Dementia care has to improve, we have to work towards one to one care or one carer to no more than two clients at any one time. These people are human beings who have led a normal and usually good life, family people, hard working people, left to waste their final days away sat in a wheelchair in a corridor.
**** off apart from your grammer your argument is facile you seem to be uncaring in the extreme. Dementia is not about economics. It is about the aging process. It is essential that as a society people with Dementia are cared for and looked after properly .
I work with Dementia Residents. You CANNOT have a lot of stimulation.... pictures all over the walls, etc. By the time these types of people are behind locked doors, they are so far gone, they do not understand or see anything. They need calmness, not noise, activities etc. It only agitates them. They cannot even know if it is day or night. That is why so many spend so much of the night up, if not sedated enough. These days, it is near impossible to use methods of sedation. It is considered cruel. Many would be so much better off sedated, till they can pass away, because they are just so violent. I get beaten and beaten all the time. Even if there are two carers to help with the hygiene, washing etc of a resident. Some are just so bloody violent. But their human rights come before the rights of the carers. These people in this place in the video aren't being medicated at all. This is not the truth of Dementia. These people are clearly not the violent type. So lucky them.
I think that you are in the wrong job.
Mr private man I disagree. I work in dementia care and I too take a beating as all dementia carers do but we try to make our residents environment homely and comfortable with personal belongings about and familiar objects. Basic activities for those that are able. I believe in person centered care and you're right sadly some residents are so lost in their dementia they are unable to engage, so we do all we can to keep them comfortable and safe and protect what little dignity these poor people have left with the utmost respect for them. Dementia is an incredibly cruel and mind changing disease which makes some people hit out. I'm on the fence about sedation. When a resident is clearly being mentally tormented and tortured by their mind it's awful to see and I just want them to have some relief from it and I think if that was me in that situation I would rather be sedated and have some calm quiet time and some sleep than being half terrified out of my mind. I guess it's something we should be asking people about while they have capacity. Like the DNR we should ask them in the event of becoming tormented and so upset violent and agitated would they prefer to be sedated. I don't agree with sedating a person for the convenience of the carers. It's a big responsibility knowing what is right to do for each person. Sometimes it all just feels wrong
Calamity Housewife13 i am an ain in the high care dementia ward ..it is sad i often try & make it fun some clients cannot remember the here & now but i play lots of games like i start off with a saying its like water off a ducks??? they know this although could not say the full sentence themselves ..i have been appalled some days i walk in & my poor residents are stuck in blue chairs with tv on no sound & programmes that are disgusting ..yes its hard as we only have a certain time limit on so many to shower ect but at least do the job right i cant stand when they dont get looked after with dignity & respect
love the program i also work with memory care patients
I am sorry to hear about your husband. I enjoyed reading about your connection to Olive Oatman. Life can be cruel as I well know.
i feel so bad for the lady at the beginning, seems like her kids left her.
I can see that the German man was at the end of his rope when he put his wife in that facility in Thailand. One-on-one personal care 'round the clock sounds ideal... there is no way that the wife will want for anything, food or water... or break a hip due to a fall... or as in the case of Dawna Friesen's dad get assaulted by another resident because someone is always at her side. But even with such attentive care and luxurious surroundings I don't think that replaces a family member who can come visit frequently. If the man is retired could he not have moved himself to Thailand to be near to his wife?
I wondered too but realised he may have children and grandchildren at home who need him too.
So sad. The illness takes them away, you are put in a home for long term care, and they exist in a place they don’t know as they drift farther and farther away...
Please don't put me in here. Makes you want to cry...
There's an ice floe with my name on it.
my heart breaks for the partner who has to make the decision to place a loved partner into care and worrying if they have made the right choice. We have to invest more time and care and make sure the right people are chosen for the nursing staff, money plays a large part,but it's not just the money
Dee Horsburgh Yes very sad. the way she cried after he left it was evident that she understood he was leaving. Very sad.
Lpy
That poor old guy sedated in the hall,so sad.The daughter didn't care.
I know Suzanna's husband made the best choice for her. I'm sure his decision to leave her broke his heart but at least he knows she's well cared for with people trained to help her. I admire his strength in making such a heartbreaking decision. This disease is absolutely horrid and I pray one day they can find a cure!!! God bless all of these patients and their families.💔😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
A few ill-informed people commenting on who 'speaks English, or Dutch, German' or whatever. My European colleagues, to a man, are multilingual. They see themselves as part of an international community. Something Americans do not always share. However, with dementia, language loss is deeply personal and, idiosyncratic. I know people who, in the past having spoken more than one language..will 'lose English", or "lose Spanish", and regress, sometimes to a language spoken in childhood. It is the way dementia progresses, for every person.
This is fantastic!
This is a beautiful place..why do we not have this all over in America ?
The mind dies before the body, horrible 💔
My mother in law has dementia and I spend a lot of time with her some of her children want even visit her and the others live out of town and come as much as they can once or twice a year, she needs me,yes there's time when they remember when I spend time with my mother in I talk as if all is well if she tells me her mother visited her I just act as if she just left.
Thx 4 sharing the dutch part in amsterdam.... dementia is such a common...but a not cureable disease.....so sorry for them...and especially for the relatives...hope they ll find a cure....
From $8000/month to $3600 (or whatever) is STILL more than a U.S. citizen "earns" on social security. Way more. So the choices become die or be homeless. It is horrible. Even if they say you will still have a place there, you are warehoused with 1-4 roommates. Then there is the problem of adequate and caring staffing...which doesn't occur in the U.S. due to dollars being the bottom line.
YourAnjl in every country, not just the U.S., to get the best care it unfortunately takes money.
+Chook G this is true. To get good quality care, takes money. This includes the caretakers (nurses, cna's, activities, physical therapists, clergy, paying rent on the property, electricity, housekeeping, training and the list goes on. The facility I work at takes very good care of their residents. But I've seen facilities where they don't. It does all come down to money, but what is the solution? I say we work on prevention.
Whether it is 3,000$ or 8,000$ when you do not have it.. if you live in the US, Canada or wherever... it’s all the same actually
*Dear Lord💟Jesus Christ😘 please, protect all of us from Dementia, Alzheimer, cáncer and... CARELESS CARE GIVERS🙏.*
I could never do that to my husband and my husband wouldn't do that to me. What happened to better or worse to sickness and health. And I would never put my parents in nursing home. It is our responsibility to take care of our parents because they took care of us.
You can’t know until it happens to you. Often families don’t do this until it is impossible to do anything else, or back when their loved one was lucid, they told them they preferred being in a home to having their family wear themselves out taking care of them.
My mother has this and she is deaf and it scares me to know that she will whittle away.
I can relate to the reporter my mom is declining with. Dementia..breaks my heart ❤️ does the anchor have a website or a vlog ? I'd like to talk to her ....I'm going through the same thing ..I dread the future with my poor sweet mama
That is true. You suffer from the difference in their down turn, then you half to face their demise. Their is two faces to this.
And couples can be together
i am very sad, my husband of 57 years now has this dam horrible illness.
gaillee erichsen I'm sorry I hope you find peace in this stressful time .
Suzie from Switzerland has the most beautiful skin. I'd be happy to look like her at 58
Gosh what a lonely place that Thai institute looks like. Taking family to completely different country, different food, different people, different weather and environment. What made me sad was the lady at the end and they just put her to sleep, they could have eased into the idea that she will go home soon to ease her anxiety as she would forget anyway.
There’s nothing wrong with lying to a dementia patient or going along with their delusions, if it helps to keep them happy. They are more likely to hold onto emotions than facts. If you watch more of these videos you’ll see that most carers agree this is the best approach.
México has great elderly care centers and they are not as far away from Canada.
I care for a Dimentia client and this would be excellent for her. There is not enough support for the client or the carer in care homes and live in.
I was born in Holland but have lived in Canada now for 3/4 of my life. Now that I am older I realize that The Netherlands has a much better social system than Canada. People are treated like they matter. in Holland, here in Canada the social system is horrendous and failing. I might go back to Holland. Let's all learn about what works in this world, and that we all do matter and deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Not like a number,...
I know this is about Dementia, but I just wanted to say that Alzheimer’s is also such an awful disease, my Grandma and Uncle had it. Thankfully they are no longer suffering with it, but I sure do miss them!!
People think dementia and Alzheimers are two different diseases. There are many different types of dementia, Alzheimers is one of them and the most common so some people use the terms interchangeably.
SonshineLady oh ok, thank you for correcting me 😀
I wish they had Donna’s parents sitting next to each other. I don’t understand the separation when they are both residing on the same care unit.
If I had to choose I would go to Holland, but at the end of the day as always it all depends on the money.. I could not leave a loved one in any of these places it just seems so cruel and selfish to do this.. So you have dementia let's just throw you away for someone else to look after you! Terrible............
maria parker you cant judge till you are in that situation. I said I would never put my mother in a home but when she got quite bad she went to the local care home (which was lovely) for a few hours a day during the week. She loved it there and after a few weeks she would get distressed each day, when coming back to her own home. She would keep saying she wanted to go home, she wanted to be with the people. She didn’t know who we were and we couldn’t give the quality of care she got there. By that I mean we were all doing our best, but it was constant care that she needed because she had become inlcontanent and she would take her pads out and hide them and then have a problem. She didn’t recognise what food or drink was. She didn’t understand about washing herself. She needed the expert help from people who knew how to cope, who also were able to get a nights sleep because they could go home and leave the job to someone else for a few hours. Visiting my mother in the home was such a joy, compared to life with her at home. She was well cared for and I could be a daughter again concentrating on the love.
So very sad and tragic.
Leave her. Leave her!
ik hou van je, I have dementia and wish I could live in such a place
Not everyone gets dementia. To say that is rubbish.
This video was uploaded 8 yrs. ago, it’s disappointing to see so little changes with Dementia care in general. I have been working with people living with dementia for nearly 20 yrs. now. I have recently changed vocation to education. I’m hoping to educate more Carers on Dementia using Strength Based approach. My biggest disappointment is funding focus mainly on facilities and staff ratio as opposed to quality and education of Staff. It’s frustrating watching the family and staff in this video lacking the basic education on Validation and Orientation therapies used as a communication strategy. But it gives me hope knowing better educated carers are coming.
That one in Bali....how often do the families visit? Not often I think.
Sorry...Thailand
I am 74, a bit forgetful, things like trying to use the wrong key, leaving lights on, remembering peoples names until I need the name to talk to them. I feel that when a mind is buggered, time to go. Not enough young people in the near future to look after all of us old duffers. I have a prepared painless, not at all unpleasant finish for me. Do not want to go early but hope to still remember how before it is too late.
You’re brave and sensible. But it could be tricky to find the right timing. There’s a film called “Still Alice” about exactly this, and it is a sad one.
The US needs to take a page from these countries.
intresting concepts...love to discuss these ideas [rpw56@mail.com]
if only human were taught how to love unconditionally and taught how to accept reality this will be easy to deal with.
You won’t know until it happens to you. When your parent thinks you are a stranger and is scared of you, and they poop in the closet, and insists it is 1975, and they accuse the carer you have coming in of stealing… then unconditional love may not be enough.
My doctor wants to have my brain scan to confirmed that I have young onset dementia. I did the memory test. It shows that I am in the early stage. They need the brain scan to confirmed it. I tend to forget things. I go to the kitchen to do something and end up wondering why I came to the kitchen. I loosed keys and other things. All the signs are there. I quest I am doom. I feel horrible that family members will have to end up taking care of me. I do not want to be out of control of my life. I am loss and sad.
Sorry you're going thru this. My husband is in moderate stage with mixed dementia but we just keep going on with whatever we can. We just say.. "It is what it is"...
He takes pills to keep him stable but it will not stop the progression, we still travel, go to our church, keep busy but there's a lot of things he's finding difficult, no driving, hardly any motivation, and no real appetite.
There will come a time when he'll be living in the past but there's nothing wrong with that. He enjoyed his childhood and looks forward to thinking his parents are alive, even if it means forgetting me, his sons and grandchildren.
Get your diagnosis, be proactive, do research while you can and embrace it.... at some point no more responsibilities, others doing the paperwork and worrying as you slip into a new life.
JM BW ❤️
So sorry for you!!!
The villages are wonderful and should be available in every country, so people don't have to leave their families, but why is the man in Manitoba left sitting in a corridor all the time?
62Tyke exactly, so distressing to see. 😢