My BF told me I was a really good girl then he said this is not working for me I said y this has clearly worked for 4 years he said I CheATed I said that is because I am not good enough the said no then he said I am sorry I just started to cry then I said with who it wAS mY bEsT fRIEND I hate him and if your reading this sorry it to late the only way you can talk to me is whne your killing me
I have no one else to tell this too, so yeah I’ll just let my feels loose. On August 2, 2017 at 11:33, I met this girl... I had knew her before because of a friend who had liked her. I’d play around with my friend saying stuff about her and getting him mad. I knew her brother and I was, I’d say a decent friend to him, I’d also joke around his sister. One night I’m off on vacation and noticed I had this girl on Snapchat, she had post a comment of some sort. She was sad, I messaged her... She immediately responded and was furious for me responding, aha it wasn’t anything related to me playing around with my friends or anything. But wow! I fell in love with this girl. I’d had been in a depressed place for a while in my life until she arrived to brighten it. She was perfect, sweet, making me feel something I’ve never felt before. It made me actually really scared and happy to be here. But, here’s the catch, she was a freshman in high school... I was a senior. She had told me a few days after we met. I didn’t care and she didn’t care. We’d have long conversations at night about the most randomness things, but it was perfect! It was beautiful to be in this place. School was coming around again and we were both so shy to see each other in person for the first time. I saw her one day at lunch when I was getting my food, across the tables she was freaking out and I as well did. I wasn’t able to come up to her. But she told me she had crazy butterflies over me. Also, her parents didn’t know anything about me... We stopped talking for a while (a month) because of this specific reason that really it shouldn’t be a reason. Aha. But her birthday was coming around, so I decided to message her wishing her birthday to be well and good, it was dry. But I had still big feelings for her! Two months later of non talking, valentines was coming quick. My school did this thing where you can buy roses for three dollars and that was one rose, I bought a dozen roses. It was anonymous, but she immediately knew it was me, and was so happy. Keep in mind we had not talked in person yet after being back in school for a while now. But she messaged me saying how happy she was. That was it again for another two weeks it was complete silence from both of us again. I remembered being in class thinking about her so much and I randomly got the need of talking to her, so I ditched my 6th period early and went on a search for her. I saw her walking out of her class and boom. I said “Her name” she turned around and saw that it was me standing there. She immediately covered her face with her hair, she could’ve barely talked, it was like she was going to have a panic attack. But gosh, she looked beautiful up person than the distance we’d have. She was sweating, stuttering all her words and it was adorable. We talked for a bit, but after that she messaged me once I got home with the most unforgettable essay. It said she had never felt this way for any other guy and the reason she stopped talking to me was because she was scared of me graduating and leaving high school. She didn’t want high feelings for me...She was happy and scared, same way I was. She was a queen! We continued speaking in person for another month, FINALLY. Since the beginning I had always wanted her to go to prom with me, we talked about it as a joke when we first met considering how weird it’ll be for a senior and a freshman to go together, but I wanted it now. One day I tell her to meet me in the NPR building, it was a room with a piano and tables around. I proposed to her to go to prom with me with a huge poster and ofc the piano. She walked in and was freaking out again, she told me “You’re giving me butterflies again! Like the first time we saw each other!”. She said yes, we had our first hug... I asked if I could’ve have a kiss, we kissed, she was really red. She tightly hugged me again. I walked her to her class after and again she gave me another tight hug. But remember she hadn’t told her parents about me yet. She told me that it was time for them to know who I was. They were happy to know I invited her, but they weren’t too sure who I was, so they invited me to go see “The Avengers” when it came out. I was scared balls! They met my parents and she as well, was really awkward for both of us. I had spent a great time with them, we ate, and her dad helped me choose my outfit (tux) for prom that day. I felt like we connected. Aha. Though the most unexpected thing happened the next day, she was mad? Sad? Frustrated? I really don’t know! But it had seemed like she regretted saying yes to me. I decided to ask her what was wrong a day before prom. I came up to her and saw that she had done her nails perfectly getting ready for prom the next day, but I asked what’s wrong. She says “nothings wrong”. It’s common for people to say that when they want to hide something... I couldn’t say bye to her that day, I couldn’t and I didn’t. We both left saying nothing. The next day for prom I had ordered this Stretched hummer, I had always told her I got a normal limo, I surprised her in front of her house with it. I don’t think it was a good idea... But gosh damn she was beautiful! She was the star light of prom. We took pictures in front of her house and moved on to a new location to take pictures. I told her that we might go to Denny’s after prom to go eat, she was excited. We both ignored what happened the day before, when I tried asking what was wrong. But everything seemed perfect! We took a lot of pictures going to prom inside the hummer. She seemed happy and that was all that mattered to me. We danced for a bit and suddenly her mood changed again. We were with my group of friends that i introduced to her when I first proposed, but they all agreed something was going on with her. She was happy and all, and suddenly she was mad at everyone, specially me. We slowed danced, but it wasn’t quite what I wanted, the ride back home was so different to when we were going to prom. Everything seemed dead. We got to Denny’s and she gave me one last hug and said she had a great time. The hug felt as if it were the last... her dad was already waiting for her at Denny’s and took her home. I asked him if she wanted to come in and eat with us, he said “No I think she’s fine”. I thanked him for letting her daughter go to prom with me. He said “Yeah”. I thought we had connected... After prom she didn’t respond to me for a week. She gave me a reason to why she didn’t respond anymore, she didn’t have a charger... I responded, but since then I have been left on delivered for now 9 months. I think about what I had done wrong that night, was it anything I said? Was it in anyway that I touched her made her feel insecure? I have been blaming myself for a long time now. I’ve graduated, looking out to the crowd to see if she were there, she wasn’t. I have no idea what happened, everything was going great! She was happy! Excited! Nervous! And shy all for me. I was crazed by her. We talked about my graduation, but like I said she wasn’t there. I have gone to my old school a couple of times hoping to see her after school in our old spot. She’s not there. But I did see her once, I was coming up to her and immediately she speed walked out. I was destroyed! Why was she doing this??? I have many friends who still haven’t graduated and I gave one of them a letter to give to her since she didn’t want to see me. My friend said that she had given the worst response ever. She said she rolled her eyes and said “Oh great” and walked away with the letter. I was destroyed! That was about a month ago. I wonder where did I go wrong, why she went like this, when did I hurt her, who told her lies about me? I blame myself and question myself day and night. It’s been 9 months and my depression has been killing me again. Where’d had she gone? Listening to these types of songs helps me and relates to me so much. Valentines is coming up again and it’s been a year since we first talked in person seeing her adorable freaking out face. I haven’t seen her in so long, I don’t know how she even looks likes now. I wish I could’ve said happy birthday to her back in November. I wish I could see her again and ask her personally what happened that night. This valentines is going to be a damage breaker for me. I want to do something anonymously for her again... If you read that entire long story, thank you! It means so much for me. If you could help me with advice/help I will be happy to know what to do. Sorry if there’s any misspells or grammar errors.
maybe she just freaked out. it's really hard when you're left without an explanation, i'm so sorry. she could've just not been ready and when she realized just how real it was, got scared and backed away because she realized how much she cared for you, love can be scary. last year i was with a guy that i really liked and we went to the school dance. i was having an amazing time, we were laughing and it was just pure happiness for me. but then i realized how easily it could be taken away and i didn't think i'd be able to handle it if something happened, so, i backed away so my feelings would lessen but they never did. he moved states and it's still one of my biggest regrets. he made an effort to know why i was suddenly unhappy, had his friends come ask me for him because every time he'd approach me i'd turn in the opposite direction, so when they'd ask me i'd act like i was annoyed with him because i wanted him to have happiness. it sounds really weird but at the time it made sense to me. i thought that if i hurt him enough to where he'd leave me alone and forget about me, he'd be better off in the long run. silly, i know. maybe that's the case with her. sorry i can't give you much advice, i'm not really the best at that. maybe one day in a few years you guys will meet again unexpectedly, fate is a funny thing. the only thing i could suggest is giving her time, she needs to figure out how she actually feels, it took me almost a year to realize how much i'd fucked up. i'm sorry mate. i wish you the best ❤
Oh honey!! Don’t beat yourself up for her. She doesn’t deserve such a wonderful guy like you. You completely cared about her and it’s her loss. You seem like a wonderful guy I don’t think she deserves you. Maybe she freaked out. Or else she just wasn’t ready for a relationship. Whatever happened, happened for a reason. Don’t beat yourself up over it because from where I can see and from your point of view you did EVERYTHING right. You’re every girls dream. Trust me. Being proposed to go to prom? Saying all those nice things about her? Trust me you deserve way better.
JosiasDE I'm sorry I really don't know how to help I read the whole thing btw and like idk was there any conversations where you said something like I doubt it or something jokingly when she said something and thought you didn't believe her, I doubt that was it like my gf can be like that but she's my gf and like its a relationship ya know and a relationships about trusting each other anyway that's different bc she's my gf not a on the verge of a relationship if that makes sense, but like idk sry man tbvh she doesn't deserve you and you deserve better, thanks for the story btw idk it helps me to relate to others even if its different my gf is considering breaking up with me bc her over controlling parents won't let her date and no we're not like 13 or anything it's got me down a bit myself she pulled me out of a bit of a hole too and ig ik how hard it is. And I seriously really really really doubt you did anything wrong so don't go beating yourself up over it. Thanks. Btw I think the second replies pretty good, good luck, i wish all the best and I hope you're alg
This ... just leaves me in tears ..... but if somewhere, he really mean those words , I just wanna tell him .. thank you , for the hurt, scars, broken pieces heart , and for this love, yes, even if it didn’t last , it is still love, and the best when it comes to sacrifice ...
that type of songs remind me how I was lost, how i felt myself so alone, when i didn't have any self-confidence, that make me so nostalgic but also fine, I can understand how we can feel unperfect for someone or feeling not enought good for others. I miss some choice I did because of that but now I feel so better to move forward and making choices for me
I hurt someone I really loved, and even though he's forgiven me for it I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. I love this song; it explains my feelings for me.
A year ago I was in such a bad place mentally, heart break and terrible thoughts about myself. This song helps me so much, slowly getting stronger and stronger 💙
Day breaks and when I turn You're not on my pillow My head shakes and then the penny drops Still your t-shirt on my chair Pencilled hearts on paper I try not to think but I can't stop And doubt sets in like a storm I could feel it coming And words echo out yesterday Time pushed me to the edge The jump was my decision I've only got myself to blame [Chorus] 'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn't wanna stay And I have no right to need you When I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do Yeah, I still do [Verse 2] Night falls, I'm wide awake Wishing I could call you I'm too used to hearing all about your day The cold creeps up next to me Now we don't share these covers But I've no license to complain Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn't wanna stay And I have no right to need you When I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do [Bridge] You know I care, but I can't be there To make this unmade bed of roses And you deserve to be put first I had to let you go [Extended Chorus] 'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn't wanna stay And I have no right to need you When I knew what my heart was gonna lose To ask if you're okay When I left you so confused I have no right to love you I have no right, oh I have no right to love you But I still do Yeah, I still do, woah I still do
I asked him if he'd changed his mind. I asked if he'd changed his mind about loving me like I love him. But he said no, that nothing had changed. I tried to be okay with his choice, but it hurt too much. I respect his answer and him, but it hurt too much to look into the eyes of a man I loved more than I thought possible, and know that I wouldn't be able to keep him in my life. It hurt too much to know that once he closed the door behind him I would never see him again. So I closed the door before he could. And even though the people around me say I did a good thing, I'm still struggling to see how that was a good choice. Because all I feel is pain and loss.
Same. Exactly the same :( I guess the worst part is, I've learned this song from him. He added this on his playlist after he told me to move on and I left. I love him so much but he has his reasons why we couldn't be together and it fucking hurts. It's good to realize that a kind of love like this (what we felt) exist. I guess we can only learn from it. It's either not the right time or they just needed to play a big-short role in our lives. Don't worry Elena, I got your back *pats*
Same here, gave me the hope saying maybe in the future we could work but he closed all the doors possible and I still have to see him through the halls almost every day. He loved me and I could tell but one day it just disappeared so fast and easily that it hurts since we been through so much in less than a year.
Royal Mystery The closed door hurts ..but there is something always better ..this is just a bad chapter we have to go through ..but we have a “happy ever after ending” 😊 We are queens and we deserve better
Exactly the same. I was asking him again and again. I finished it, with a lot of pain and crying but with this situation I was losing myself. In the end, he came back after 4 months saying that he love me and that he changed.
Day breaks and when I turn You're not on my pillow My head shakes and then the penny drops Still your t-shirt on my chair Pencilled hearts on paper I try not to think but I can't stop And doubt sets in like a storm I could feel it coming And words echo out yesterday Time pushed me to the edge The jump was my decision I've only got myself to blame 'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn't wanna stay And I have no right to need you And I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do Yeah, I still do Night falls, I'm wide awake Wishing I could call you I'm too used to hearing all about your day The cold creeps up next to me Now we don't share these covers But I've no license to complain 'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn't wanna stay And I have no right to need you And I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do You know I care, but I can't be there To make this unmade bed of roses And you deserve to be put first I had to let you go I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn't wanna stay And I have no right to need you And I knew what my heart was gonna lose To ask if you're okay When I left you so confused I have no right to love you I have no right, oh I have no right to love you But I still do Yeah, I still do, woah I still do
it explains where i am here and right now where i sit...every single word in this video...every single one describes what im going through and where i am at with this person
This song is so apt for my situation. I had to leave the girl who selflessly loved me. I had my reasons but... She did not deserve that. I felt so guilty while leaving and her sad face still lingers in my mind and I just cannot forget her. She was (is) my first love. I wish I could sing this song to her.
This song is perfectly describe my life. I am going through hard times now because i've made a mistake not one but two times.. i was the one who said i dont want to be with her..i thought this is the right decision. But the truth is i love her so much and now i cant do anything. :( All along she wanted from me to show her that i love her but i always pushed her away from me. Now im just sitting alone with my broken heart and and i dont have the right to love her..
Wow. No joke I accidentally clicked on this instead of a video below it I was intending to. His voice is incredible, and this song is beautiful! Thanks for the lyrics!!
As soon as the chorus hit I started crying because I did something like that I knew I loved him but I still walked away, left him with pain & confusion . But I still miss him, I still love him and I'm still sorry for wait I did.
I Know a boy. He was the first one to make me feel something. He’s lost in what he feels for me and for other girls. And yet i still feel for him what i never felt for anybody. I can’t stop thinking about him, i’m lost I wanna forget him and move on but at the same time i wanna hold him and feel his arms around me. I know deep down inside that i could never forget him untill i find someone else I don’t know if this is love or attachement but what i know for sure is that it hurts like hell
The part about being put first really hit me hard because o really did love you a lot, all you wanted was for me to show it. But instead I focused on fixing a broke bond with someone else. Now the only person left broken is myself. But it hurts so bad to know I broke two hearts, when all I wanted to do was fix yours.
you miss the feeling when youre with her. you miss the thought of her. you miss the the attention she gave you. you miss the thought of her. don't go back. don't make the mistake I did.
I walked away when my heart wasn't ready to let go, Now I spend days reading books, learning how to let go of someone I once called "the love of my life"
I love you with all my heart Rosie. I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll wait the rest of my life for you to come home and If it’s not this life hopefully I can be with you in the next. You are that worth it to me ❤️ -Ry
its hard to listen to this i have lost so many people its awful and i am sorry to anyone who feels that way it really sucks and tbh none of us deserve it whether its a family member or a loved one it really is tough ....and i hope everyone finds that one person to always be there for them no matter what.
Finally a song that explains what I’m feeling. Yet the dude that was in “love” with me and sweared he did was neutral when breaking up with him and a day later he has a new “girl” friend. I knew it but oh welllll
I love this song. I wasn't coward when I walked away, it's just that I had confusions and self realisations thus I had to leave. Now that I'm back with a better version of myself, and I'm staying. But there is already changes in him and I completely understand why so. I just don't know if it's the right time to open up because I'm pretty sure he has doubts already.
I love love songs and love stories even though I’m almost 100% sure Im not going to find love. I think I’m just one of those people who can’t ever be in a relationship. I think it’s partially because I’m insecure with myself and I’d always feel like I was being used (but mostly I’m just a disconnected kind of person). It’s not a big deal for me. There’s plenty of other things I can spend my time doing than be sad about it, but sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have someone who really loved me and be able to fully love them back.😅
UPDATE: quite a rollercoaster. No-one will probably ever read this, but the story's out there anyway. My best, best friend just left me. We were like soulmates; we knew each other as well as a married couple would, we said everything we thought - there were no boundaries. No-one laughs as much as we did. But I was always insecure that she didn't love me enough. And I told her so. And over time, she began to feel like she could never prove it to me. Understandably. One day, out of nowhere, after 3 years, she left me over text. Over fucking text. I remember getting tunnel vision. The adrenaline surge, the way I dropped the phone on the table like it was burning acid and just repeated over and over again 'oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.' I remember bursting into confused sobs and screaming 'if she leaves me, I am going to kill myself'. I remember being rocked and held but I wanted to throw up, to get it out my system, to rewind the clock to just before she made that decision to leave. I was very, very depressed at the time. And she did it out of nowhere - out of fucking nowhere. At first, shock took over me. I saw her the next day, I told her it would be better from now on, we would get through this, i'd give her all the time she need and then we could go back together. I told her i would always forgive her and love her no matter what and hugged and kissed her forehead. She seemed to agree that we could try again. Until that evening I got 115 messages saying she couldn't do it, she felt too 'panicked' to go back to me. I remember locking the door and trying to strangle myself just so I would pass out. Just so I didn't consciously have to deal with the pain. After the shock left, a few days ago now, the depression set in. Oh my god. I didn't even know it was possible to actually breathe and survive in this much pain. I don't know how my heart keeps beating. I feel like there's an iron chain around my chest - sometimes i only breathe once a minute because it takes so much effort. It hits me at the most random moments, and then I can't breathe and I just go limp and can't move. I feel like a dead person trapped inside a living body. I don't blame her. I wouldn't have ever wanted her to keep this to herself. I love her far too much for that. But it's just...its agony. And for her too, I can imagine. I'm pretty sure this song describes how she feels - guilty, still loving me. But my god. There are two sides to every equation. HELLO, UPDATE: we made up. I realise now that that argument had to happen for us to have a healthy relationship again. We've got "back together", and this time I truly understand her, and in doing that, I no longer feel insecure :) i honestly have total faith this can be a lifelong friendship, based on mutual love, respect, and understanding now. Im so glad- she's the loveliest human i could ever imagine, and she makes me the best version of myself. so if you related to this post: hold on, have faith in love and treat yourself kindly as well as others. I got so close to ending it. But now im well on the path of recovery. The future is up. I swear, everything happens for a reason, even if you can't see it right now. Sending all my love 💕 Edit a month later: she just did the exact same thing. All over again. I don't believe this. I don't know whether to give her a chance or move on. I'm going to find some other friends for now and see what happens. But thank god I reacted well this time. I'm in a better mindset now and I know I'm going to be okay. I do feel like an idiot for writing all the happy stuff above, however. Though I do still believe in it. Maybe this is for the best. Edit around 9/10 months later: long time no see. Long story short, we tried to stay just casual friends after that 2nd breakup. We stuck it out for 4 months. One day, I told her I felt like I didn't see her enough, that 'all our memories are being locked into a vault of nostalgia. I miss you. Can we see each other more?' Days later, she responded, saying that was it. She couldn't do it. She couldn't be friends at all or have me in her life anymore, because it was like opening an old wound every time she saw me. That was 5 months ago. We haven't spoken since. I have waves of missing her so much it feels meaningless without her. I'm going to contact her in a few years - if I can. I don't know if she'll be friends with me again. This just doesn't feel right. I don't think we're meant to be entirely apart. Something feels wrong in my life without her. If there's one thing you learn from me: never, ever question someone's love for you over and over again and make them feel not good enough. Don't give in to your insecurities; accept that they love you, maybe not always in the ways you want them to, but you can't change people. You either accept them as they are or be prepared to lose them. I'm paying for my mistakes every second that goes by without her. Please, don't make the same ones I did. Edit another 5 months after that: if you read anything, read the last paragraph. I just went through a bad month or two with my darling boyfriend for doubting his love for me over and over again. One night I told myself to essentially fuck off and stop doubting both myself and him and accept his promises that he loved me the same, even more than before. I made an effort to be happy and kind and see him as my ally, not my enemy. I feel so much better now and our relationship is starry and thriving again. That paragraph above is the most important one. I still think about my friend every day, missing her like crazy but more resigned, and I'll contact her in a couple years to try and rekindle us or at least apologise for breaking us down. I'll come back here, inevitably, I love this song :)
I felt like I read my own story... Incredible. You're not alone!!! Stay strong 🙏 time doesn't heal a scar like this, I'm still dealing with depression after 3 years since she left me... I have no right to love her but I still do, although nothing will ever make her come back to me... Your story hurts me just the same, hold on 💔❤️
@@leovaldez6139 i know i must sound so cliche, but the agony of not knowing is never, ever gonna get better unless you tell her. worst thing: she reacts terribly and you lose her. yes, it's devastating - believe me, i know - but the difference is at least it has a chance to heal over time. if you stay stuck in that limbo forever it may never improve, you could sacrifice other relationships. im so so sorry - i can't imagine the terror and agony of knowing you might lose her. and you can completely ignore what i say if you wish, it's your decision entirely. also, i just want to say that the video you linked for me? i watched it about 3 weeks ago. when it loaded my heart stopped because wow that was like some kind of sign, because of all the suicide prevention videos, that was the one that hit me most. thank you. i wish you all the luck in the world.
@@maya_chx Hey, no problem! Clayton Jennings is one of my favorite artists! Always hits me where I'm at. I'll keep you in my prayers. Thank you for the advice! I'm probably going to hint at it soon in an introverted kind of way. I am one of those people that believes that you can have a wonderful future and relationship with a numerous amount of people, so I'm sure there will be many others. But at the same time I don't want there to be anyone else. It's hard to realize that I could feel this way about someone else in the future: it's so unbelievable. It is true that I am probably sacrificing other relationships, which sucks, but I would gladly sacrifice them if I got her. But whatevs. I'm playing it patient and cool for now. I really can't force anything. I just let my love be shown through my actions. Just hoping and praying.
@@nikkiallen3799 thank you lovely, i hope youre okay, stay strong for me xx and I'm trying to hold on. Really. I am. I just don't know if I can 😂 I can barely get up
Sometimes... it is better to let go so you will keep that beautiful memories of each other.. than to hang on to it and slowly fill up your memories with pain.
''I have no right to miss you, when I didn't want to stay'' I saw that the man I love, who asked me to leave 5 months ago, has been contacting my best friend, asking her how I am, telling her that he misses me. He isn't very emotional, and shows it even less. So the fact that he's been telling someone that he misses me... that's huge. Trying to process it all.
He made me feel something I never felt! We only had conversions and 1 kiss. He had someone, I had someone. We were confused! I am married now, but there are times when I still miss him. But some things are not meant to be and we cant be driven by emotions all the time. We had to choose. Learn and live♡
Not many people realise what they had until it’s gone
SO relatable...🥺
Let me tell you it's not as bad as knowing and never being able to have it
That's why there are so many lost, broken, scared people in the world
Yes
My BF told me I was a really good girl then he said this is not working for me I said y this has clearly worked for 4 years he said I CheATed I said that is because I am not good enough the said no then he said I am sorry I just started to cry then I said with who it wAS mY bEsT fRIEND I hate him and if your reading this sorry it to late the only way you can talk to me is whne your killing me
Finding out you broke two hearts, hers and your own.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Almost the same situation. Feels like a deep cut in my heart and it hurts more, because I'm not the only one with broken heart..
Sarka Humpolcova I relate to this too much:/
Sarka Humpolcova Exactly
For real😭
Is it bad to miss someone you we're never with?
💯%
let your heart run free, my friend
Can't say whether it's bad or not , buh I know it sure hurts like hell
Just don’t miss them for too long. But yes it’s okay.
I feel you... he hurt me and I hurt him we liked each other but were never together. He was one of my best friends and we left each other.
Listening to this song makes me wish and hope he feels this way about me...
I hope he does my friend
I feel exactly this way for someone, and it's too much too too much really!
Idk it's killing this feeling!
He must be fallen with ur cute name itself Nesli
SAME
I’m speechless. my thoughts portrayed in a way I didn’t even think of. thank you.
I have no one else to tell this too, so yeah I’ll just let my feels loose.
On August 2, 2017 at 11:33, I met this girl... I had knew her before because of a friend who had liked her. I’d play around with my friend saying stuff about her and getting him mad. I knew her brother and I was, I’d say a decent friend to him, I’d also joke around his sister. One night I’m off on vacation and noticed I had this girl on Snapchat, she had post a comment of some sort. She was sad, I messaged her... She immediately responded and was furious for me responding, aha it wasn’t anything related to me playing around with my friends or anything. But wow! I fell in love with this girl. I’d had been in a depressed place for a while in my life until she arrived to brighten it. She was perfect, sweet, making me feel something I’ve never felt before. It made me actually really scared and happy to be here. But, here’s the catch, she was a freshman in high school... I was a senior. She had told me a few days after we met. I didn’t care and she didn’t care. We’d have long conversations at night about the most randomness things, but it was perfect! It was beautiful to be in this place. School was coming around again and we were both so shy to see each other in person for the first time. I saw her one day at lunch when I was getting my food, across the tables she was freaking out and I as well did. I wasn’t able to come up to her. But she told me she had crazy butterflies over me. Also, her parents didn’t know anything about me... We stopped talking for a while (a month) because of this specific reason that really it shouldn’t be a reason. Aha. But her birthday was coming around, so I decided to message her wishing her birthday to be well and good, it was dry. But I had still big feelings for her! Two months later of non talking, valentines was coming quick. My school did this thing where you can buy roses for three dollars and that was one rose, I bought a dozen roses. It was anonymous, but she immediately knew it was me, and was so happy. Keep in mind we had not talked in person yet after being back in school for a while now. But she messaged me saying how happy she was. That was it again for another two weeks it was complete silence from both of us again. I remembered being in class thinking about her so much and I randomly got the need of talking to her, so I ditched my 6th period early and went on a search for her. I saw her walking out of her class and boom. I said “Her name” she turned around and saw that it was me standing there. She immediately covered her face with her hair, she could’ve barely talked, it was like she was going to have a panic attack. But gosh, she looked beautiful up person than the distance we’d have. She was sweating, stuttering all her words and it was adorable. We talked for a bit, but after that she messaged me once I got home with the most unforgettable essay. It said she had never felt this way for any other guy and the reason she stopped talking to me was because she was scared of me graduating and leaving high school. She didn’t want high feelings for me...She was happy and scared, same way I was. She was a queen! We continued speaking in person for another month, FINALLY. Since the beginning I had always wanted her to go to prom with me, we talked about it as a joke when we first met considering how weird it’ll be for a senior and a freshman to go together, but I wanted it now. One day I tell her to meet me in the NPR building, it was a room with a piano and tables around. I proposed to her to go to prom with me with a huge poster and ofc the piano. She walked in and was freaking out again, she told me “You’re giving me butterflies again! Like the first time we saw each other!”. She said yes, we had our first hug... I asked if I could’ve have a kiss, we kissed, she was really red. She tightly hugged me again. I walked her to her class after and again she gave me another tight hug. But remember she hadn’t told her parents about me yet. She told me that it was time for them to know who I was. They were happy to know I invited her, but they weren’t too sure who I was, so they invited me to go see “The Avengers” when it came out. I was scared balls! They met my parents and she as well, was really awkward for both of us. I had spent a great time with them, we ate, and her dad helped me choose my outfit (tux) for prom that day. I felt like we connected. Aha. Though the most unexpected thing happened the next day, she was mad? Sad? Frustrated? I really don’t know! But it had seemed like she regretted saying yes to me. I decided to ask her what was wrong a day before prom. I came up to her and saw that she had done her nails perfectly getting ready for prom the next day, but I asked what’s wrong. She says “nothings wrong”. It’s common for people to say that when they want to hide something... I couldn’t say bye to her that day, I couldn’t and I didn’t. We both left saying nothing. The next day for prom I had ordered this Stretched hummer, I had always told her I got a normal limo, I surprised her in front of her house with it. I don’t think it was a good idea... But gosh damn she was beautiful! She was the star light of prom. We took pictures in front of her house and moved on to a new location to take pictures. I told her that we might go to Denny’s after prom to go eat, she was excited. We both ignored what happened the day before, when I tried asking what was wrong. But everything seemed perfect! We took a lot of pictures going to prom inside the hummer. She seemed happy and that was all that mattered to me. We danced for a bit and suddenly her mood changed again. We were with my group of friends that i introduced to her when I first proposed, but they all agreed something was going on with her. She was happy and all, and suddenly she was mad at everyone, specially me. We slowed danced, but it wasn’t quite what I wanted, the ride back home was so different to when we were going to prom. Everything seemed dead. We got to Denny’s and she gave me one last hug and said she had a great time. The hug felt as if it were the last... her dad was already waiting for her at Denny’s and took her home. I asked him if she wanted to come in and eat with us, he said “No I think she’s fine”. I thanked him for letting her daughter go to prom with me. He said “Yeah”. I thought we had connected... After prom she didn’t respond to me for a week. She gave me a reason to why she didn’t respond anymore, she didn’t have a charger... I responded, but since then I have been left on delivered for now 9 months. I think about what I had done wrong that night, was it anything I said? Was it in anyway that I touched her made her feel insecure? I have been blaming myself for a long time now. I’ve graduated, looking out to the crowd to see if she were there, she wasn’t. I have no idea what happened, everything was going great! She was happy! Excited! Nervous! And shy all for me. I was crazed by her. We talked about my graduation, but like I said she wasn’t there. I have gone to my old school a couple of times hoping to see her after school in our old spot. She’s not there. But I did see her once, I was coming up to her and immediately she speed walked out. I was destroyed! Why was she doing this??? I have many friends who still haven’t graduated and I gave one of them a letter to give to her since she didn’t want to see me. My friend said that she had given the worst response ever. She said she rolled her eyes and said “Oh great” and walked away with the letter. I was destroyed! That was about a month ago. I wonder where did I go wrong, why she went like this, when did I hurt her, who told her lies about me? I blame myself and question myself day and night. It’s been 9 months and my depression has been killing me again. Where’d had she gone? Listening to these types of songs helps me and relates to me so much. Valentines is coming up again and it’s been a year since we first talked in person seeing her adorable freaking out face. I haven’t seen her in so long, I don’t know how she even looks likes now. I wish I could’ve said happy birthday to her back in November. I wish I could see her again and ask her personally what happened that night. This valentines is going to be a damage breaker for me. I want to do something anonymously for her again...
If you read that entire long story, thank you! It means so much for me. If you could help me with advice/help I will be happy to know what to do. Sorry if there’s any misspells or grammar errors.
💙💙💙
maybe she just freaked out. it's really hard when you're left without an explanation, i'm so sorry. she could've just not been ready and when she realized just how real it was, got scared and backed away because she realized how much she cared for you, love can be scary. last year i was with a guy that i really liked and we went to the school dance. i was having an amazing time, we were laughing and it was just pure happiness for me. but then i realized how easily it could be taken away and i didn't think i'd be able to handle it if something happened, so, i backed away so my feelings would lessen but they never did. he moved states and it's still one of my biggest regrets. he made an effort to know why i was suddenly unhappy, had his friends come ask me for him because every time he'd approach me i'd turn in the opposite direction, so when they'd ask me i'd act like i was annoyed with him because i wanted him to have happiness. it sounds really weird but at the time it made sense to me. i thought that if i hurt him enough to where he'd leave me alone and forget about me, he'd be better off in the long run. silly, i know. maybe that's the case with her. sorry i can't give you much advice, i'm not really the best at that. maybe one day in a few years you guys will meet again unexpectedly, fate is a funny thing. the only thing i could suggest is giving her time, she needs to figure out how she actually feels, it took me almost a year to realize how much i'd fucked up. i'm sorry mate. i wish you the best ❤
Oh honey!! Don’t beat yourself up for her. She doesn’t deserve such a wonderful guy like you. You completely cared about her and it’s her loss. You seem like a wonderful guy I don’t think she deserves you. Maybe she freaked out. Or else she just wasn’t ready for a relationship. Whatever happened, happened for a reason. Don’t beat yourself up over it because from where I can see and from your point of view you did EVERYTHING right. You’re every girls dream. Trust me. Being proposed to go to prom? Saying all those nice things about her? Trust me you deserve way better.
obvisouly she dont deserve your love, shes a little kid, i hate to say it but its true, find you a female that knows what she wants.
JosiasDE I'm sorry I really don't know how to help I read the whole thing btw and like idk was there any conversations where you said something like I doubt it or something jokingly when she said something and thought you didn't believe her, I doubt that was it like my gf can be like that but she's my gf and like its a relationship ya know and a relationships about trusting each other anyway that's different bc she's my gf not a on the verge of a relationship if that makes sense, but like idk sry man tbvh she doesn't deserve you and you deserve better, thanks for the story btw idk it helps me to relate to others even if its different my gf is considering breaking up with me bc her over controlling parents won't let her date and no we're not like 13 or anything it's got me down a bit myself she pulled me out of a bit of a hole too and ig ik how hard it is. And I seriously really really really doubt you did anything wrong so don't go beating yourself up over it. Thanks. Btw I think the second replies pretty good, good luck, i wish all the best and I hope you're alg
This ... just leaves me in tears ..... but if somewhere, he really mean those words , I just wanna tell him .. thank you , for the hurt, scars, broken pieces heart , and for this love, yes, even if it didn’t last , it is still love, and the best when it comes to sacrifice ...
Agree with you 🙏
It's learning to live without him when you love him. That, princess, is healing.
-one self broken heart to another
that type of songs remind me how I was lost, how i felt myself so alone, when i didn't have any self-confidence, that make me so nostalgic but also fine, I can understand how we can feel unperfect for someone or feeling not enought good for others. I miss some choice I did because of that but now I feel so better to move forward and making choices for me
I hurt someone I really loved, and even though he's forgiven me for it I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. I love this song; it explains my feelings for me.
A year ago I was in such a bad place mentally, heart break and terrible thoughts about myself. This song helps me so much, slowly getting stronger and stronger 💙
Day breaks and when I turn
You're not on my pillow
My head shakes and then the penny drops
Still your t-shirt on my chair
Pencilled hearts on paper
I try not to think but I can't stop
And doubt sets in like a storm
I could feel it coming
And words echo out yesterday
Time pushed me to the edge
The jump was my decision
I've only got myself to blame
[Chorus]
'Cause I have no right to love you
When I chose to walk away
I have no right to miss you
When I didn't wanna stay
And I have no right to need you
When I knew what my heart was gonna lose
I have no right to love you
But I do, I still do
Yeah, I still do
[Verse 2]
Night falls, I'm wide awake
Wishing I could call you
I'm too used to hearing all about your day
The cold creeps up next to me
Now we don't share these covers
But I've no license to complain
Cause I have no right to love you
When I chose to walk away
I have no right to miss you
When I didn't wanna stay
And I have no right to need you
When I knew what my heart was gonna lose
I have no right to love you
But I do, I still do
[Bridge]
You know I care, but I can't be there
To make this unmade bed of roses
And you deserve to be put first
I had to let you go
[Extended Chorus]
'Cause I have no right to love you
When I chose to walk away
I have no right to miss you
When I didn't wanna stay
And I have no right to need you
When I knew what my heart was gonna lose
To ask if you're okay
When I left you so confused
I have no right to love you
I have no right, oh
I have no right to love you
But I still do
Yeah, I still do, woah
I still do
good content
Woah. Hits me in the feels. I still miss him.
Leaving someone because ur scared to be left, 😔💔💙
The perfect song for where I am right now
I asked him if he'd changed his mind. I asked if he'd changed his mind about loving me like I love him.
But he said no, that nothing had changed.
I tried to be okay with his choice, but it hurt too much. I respect his answer and him, but it hurt too much to look into the eyes of a man I loved more than I thought possible, and know that I wouldn't be able to keep him in my life. It hurt too much to know that once he closed the door behind him I would never see him again.
So I closed the door before he could.
And even though the people around me say I did a good thing, I'm still struggling to see how that was a good choice.
Because all I feel is pain and loss.
Same. Exactly the same :(
I guess the worst part is, I've learned this song from him. He added this on his playlist after he told me to move on and I left. I love him so much but he has his reasons why we couldn't be together and it fucking hurts.
It's good to realize that a kind of love like this (what we felt) exist. I guess we can only learn from it. It's either not the right time or they just needed to play a big-short role in our lives.
Don't worry Elena, I got your back *pats*
Same here, gave me the hope saying maybe in the future we could work but he closed all the doors possible and I still have to see him through the halls almost every day. He loved me and I could tell but one day it just disappeared so fast and easily that it hurts since we been through so much in less than a year.
💙
Royal Mystery The closed door hurts ..but there is something always better ..this is just a bad chapter we have to go through ..but we have a “happy ever after ending” 😊 We are queens and we deserve better
Exactly the same. I was asking him again and again. I finished it, with a lot of pain and crying but with this situation I was losing myself. In the end, he came back after 4 months saying that he love me and that he changed.
Hoping all of us LEARN by our mistakes.❤Loving is the most beautiful gift we have offer another.Keep pushing forward with LOVE 💕 in our hearts.
why is this underrated??? tell me why?
AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE.
(I apologise but I'm not at all sorry.)
@@georgiajeffries5531 ain't nothing but a mistake
@@briannahugill6416 I never wanna hear you say.
@@georgiajeffries5531 I want it that way
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never want to hear you say
I want it that way
I love how youtube recommends songs I haven't heard before that are so beautiful.
Day breaks and when I turn
You're not on my pillow
My head shakes and then the penny drops
Still your t-shirt on my chair
Pencilled hearts on paper
I try not to think but I can't stop
And doubt sets in like a storm
I could feel it coming
And words echo out yesterday
Time pushed me to the edge
The jump was my decision
I've only got myself to blame
'Cause I have no right to love you
When I chose to walk away
I have no right to miss you
When I didn't wanna stay
And I have no right to need you
And I knew what my heart was gonna lose
I have no right to love you
But I do, I still do
Yeah, I still do
Night falls, I'm wide awake
Wishing I could call you
I'm too used to hearing all about your day
The cold creeps up next to me
Now we don't share these covers
But I've no license to complain
'Cause I have no right to love you
When I chose to walk away
I have no right to miss you
When I didn't wanna stay
And I have no right to need you
And I knew what my heart was gonna lose
I have no right to love you
But I do, I still do
You know I care, but I can't be there
To make this unmade bed of roses
And you deserve to be put first
I had to let you go
I have no right to love you
When I chose to walk away
I have no right to miss you
When I didn't wanna stay
And I have no right to need you
And I knew what my heart was gonna lose
To ask if you're okay
When I left you so confused
I have no right to love you
I have no right, oh
I have no right to love you
But I still do
Yeah, I still do, woah
I still do
Bro, there are lyrics on the screen.
@@chennyagulto3533 they're to slow for me though so I thought others will appreciate it too...
give credit to the person above thx lololololol
This song is able to remind me memories I don't even have.. Sad
Wish he can hear this.
This comment was exactly hw I was feeling
malaysia?
Wish he can hear this (2)
Me too
I am absolutely balling right now. I knew exactly what my heart would lose and I made the jump anyway. Completely broken
Loved this song ! Came up on suggested vids randomly , so glad I clicked on it made nice memory’s flow threw my mind whilst feeling low
I fully get it
Why isnt this in the charts.. Not only in the charts this should be the top 1 in the charts and in the billboard whatever they got
This song needs to be more popular. It’s to beautiful
That's my story that you wrote, thanks for that beauty, Rhys Lewis!
Hearts continue to yearn for those who left.❤ ☕️It’s a beautiful feeling.😇We tuck it away and keep moving forward.2023
I’m here from the sad songs playlist on Spotify 🙋♀️
I'm not XAXA ;)
Γωγω Ξενικακη same
Αχ και εγω το ιδιο ..!
Im too
Same!
it explains where i am here and right now where i sit...every single word in this video...every single one describes what im going through and where i am at with this person
Hey buddy, does it get any better?
adit pandey idk man its just an endless void but ill get through it sometime
Sorry buddy, it's idk scary to hear it. I m exactly here with someone and it's fresh and I m scared I'll never b ok.
@@flukymaze hope you get out and be better. Its a tough place to be for a soft soul but we gotta be ok!
@@aditpandey6422 yeah man true true
Finding out you broke two hearts, his’ and your own.
This song is so apt for my situation. I had to leave the girl who selflessly loved me. I had my reasons but... She did not deserve that. I felt so guilty while leaving and her sad face still lingers in my mind and I just cannot forget her. She was (is) my first love. I wish I could sing this song to her.
Love this it goes perfectly with the mood of the song
This song is perfectly describe my life. I am going through hard times now because i've made a mistake not one but two times.. i was the one who said i dont want to be with her..i thought this is the right decision. But the truth is i love her so much and now i cant do anything. :( All along she wanted from me to show her that i love her but i always pushed her away from me. Now im just sitting alone with my broken heart and and i dont have the right to love her..
How u feeling now bro?
It’s a year later hopefully your doing better
10 November 2019 still love it
Wow. No joke I accidentally clicked on this instead of a video below it I was intending to. His voice is incredible, and this song is beautiful! Thanks for the lyrics!!
This fits me perfectly in my situation, Thank you for the beautiful music
This is the first song i came looking for after the heartbreak..
This made me cry, I felt this in every part of me
This song puts you right in your feels 😭💔
One of best things i've heard in a while
🙋♀️🇧🇪Danke für dieses tiefe aus der Seele sprechende Lied das ein so bewegt... Thank you for your Musik 🙏
I actually cried listening to ths song coz it is exactly what am going through and it so painful
As soon as the chorus hit I started crying because I did something like that I knew I loved him but I still walked away, left him with pain & confusion . But I still miss him, I still love him and I'm still sorry for wait I did.
This song is my new favorite, I know what it's like getting your heart broke it isn't fun.
Schöne Musik, warme Stimme . I like ♡
Always gonna be my favorite 😻💜
I Know a boy. He was the first one to make me feel something. He’s lost in what he feels for me and for other girls. And yet i still feel for him what i never felt for anybody.
I can’t stop thinking about him, i’m lost
I wanna forget him and move on but at the same time i wanna hold him and feel his arms around me.
I know deep down inside that i could never forget him untill i find someone else
I don’t know if this is love or attachement but what i know for sure is that it hurts like hell
Girl 33 most accurate thing ive ever read. preach.
Brooo same :((
The part about being put first really hit me hard because o really did love you a lot, all you wanted was for me to show it. But instead I focused on fixing a broke bond with someone else. Now the only person left broken is myself. But it hurts so bad to know I broke two hearts, when all I wanted to do was fix yours.
Essa música é taooo linda... a voz e a letra se completam de uma forma tão especial
remembered when i first heard this song 💔 still makes me cry. 2 yrs had passed yet it still makes me cry
I miss her or I miss the feeling when I'm with her. I don't know.
you miss the feeling when youre with her. you miss the thought of her. you miss the the attention she gave you. you miss the thought of her. don't go back. don't make the mistake I did.
@@katelynstevens1362 Thank you, I'm happy to tell you that I don't miss the person I used to miss anymore 😃
💫Sometimes it's better to be by yourself sometimes💫
Finally a comment that l can relate to.
Listening to this again now is starting to make sense more than ever
I walked away when my heart wasn't ready to let go, Now I spend days reading books, learning how to let go of someone I once called "the love of my life"
The comments broke my heart faster than the song did ! I'm here for you guys !
I love you with all my heart Rosie. I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll wait the rest of my life for you to come home and If it’s not this life hopefully I can be with you in the next. You are that worth it to me ❤️ -Ry
Tell her this
I cried so bad everytime I hear this. This is the exact thing I did last year to my best friend... But we're still close no matter what
I love him, he loves me. But due to certain circumstances I let him walk away from me. So yeah I don't have the right to love him but I still do.
Thank you Spotify for making this one of my daily mix 🙂
This is beautiful ❤️
When this hits just the right spot :'(
Miss her so much more than i thought
Listen to this song when I miss my ex. He has no right, when he’s the one who left. It comforts me.
That’s all I needed right now
Twin flames 🔥
Ok I really needed this about 4 months ago😂😂 I would have cried my eyes out
your comment made my day....like you really not gonna cry for you needed it 4 months ago
its hard to listen to this i have lost so many people its awful and i am sorry to anyone who feels that way it really sucks and tbh none of us deserve it whether its a family member or a loved one it really is tough ....and i hope everyone finds that one person to always be there for them no matter what.
Finally a song that explains what I’m feeling. Yet the dude that was in “love” with me and sweared he did was neutral when breaking up with him and a day later he has a new “girl” friend. I knew it but oh welllll
Some day we gonna look back at this and laugh about it but today lemme cry over it....😪💔
I love this song... Love never dies. The lucky ones just find a way to set her free. I'm still trying.
Has anybody ever made you feel something that you have never felt befor?
Ouvir essa música só me fez pensar no quanto eu queria que a pessoa que eu mais amei se sentisse assim sobre mim. Tipo de coisa que não se realiza.
Amazing lyrics!
Speak to the one who you miss so much and love . Life is short! Take that leap.
I love this song. I wasn't coward when I walked away, it's just that I had confusions and self realisations thus I had to leave. Now that I'm back with a better version of myself, and I'm staying. But there is already changes in him and I completely understand why so. I just don't know if it's the right time to open up because I'm pretty sure he has doubts already.
Time pushed me to the edge,the jump was my decision...that hit me hard
Wide awake.
💙💙💙
I can’t explain how much this song means to me 😢😭😔
what a beautiful song
this hit me like a truck
I really love that kinda songs unknown,emotional and have deep meaning even it makes me cry
this might be my dance solo song!
What a beautiful song 😢
i needed this song right now. it’s hurt so bad but i left him he moved on bc it was best for him but it hurts like hell.
Love this song ❤️
the best😊🌸
WOW I’m in my feels now
Love ur music 😀😀
Hits really close to home..
I miss him like crazy even tho I broke up with him... but I have my reasons why :(
We all do... It's amazing how we all miss and love the memory but the reality of the horrors unfortunately outweigh it
@J I yeah... you’re absolutely right but I’m trying to do better and I hope you’re too
@@karlaorozco2355 ❤️❤️ stay strong ❤️❤️
@J I thanks I really needed that and likewise ❤️ you seem like a great person that’s great
@J I this might be weird to ask but how old are you? 😅
Maybe it's better this way i will always have a special place in my heart for you keep your head up beautiful 💙💚
I love love songs and love stories even though I’m almost 100% sure Im not going to find love. I think I’m just one of those people who can’t ever be in a relationship. I think it’s partially because I’m insecure with myself and I’d always feel like I was being used (but mostly I’m just a disconnected kind of person). It’s not a big deal for me. There’s plenty of other things I can spend my time doing than be sad about it, but sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have someone who really loved me and be able to fully love them back.😅
UPDATE: quite a rollercoaster.
No-one will probably ever read this, but the story's out there anyway.
My best, best friend just left me. We were like soulmates; we knew each other as well as a married couple would, we said everything we thought - there were no boundaries. No-one laughs as much as we did. But I was always insecure that she didn't love me enough. And I told her so. And over time, she began to feel like she could never prove it to me. Understandably.
One day, out of nowhere, after 3 years, she left me over text. Over fucking text.
I remember getting tunnel vision. The adrenaline surge, the way I dropped the phone on the table like it was burning acid and just repeated over and over again 'oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.' I remember bursting into confused sobs and screaming 'if she leaves me, I am going to kill myself'. I remember being rocked and held but I wanted to throw up, to get it out my system, to rewind the clock to just before she made that decision to leave.
I was very, very depressed at the time. And she did it out of nowhere - out of fucking nowhere. At first, shock took over me. I saw her the next day, I told her it would be better from now on, we would get through this, i'd give her all the time she need and then we could go back together. I told her i would always forgive her and love her no matter what and hugged and kissed her forehead. She seemed to agree that we could try again. Until that evening I got 115 messages saying she couldn't do it, she felt too 'panicked' to go back to me. I remember locking the door and trying to strangle myself just so I would pass out. Just so I didn't consciously have to deal with the pain.
After the shock left, a few days ago now, the depression set in. Oh my god. I didn't even know it was possible to actually breathe and survive in this much pain. I don't know how my heart keeps beating. I feel like there's an iron chain around my chest - sometimes i only breathe once a minute because it takes so much effort. It hits me at the most random moments, and then I can't breathe and I just go limp and can't move.
I feel like a dead person trapped inside a living body.
I don't blame her. I wouldn't have ever wanted her to keep this to herself. I love her far too much for that. But it's just...its agony. And for her too, I can imagine.
I'm pretty sure this song describes how she feels - guilty, still loving me. But my god. There are two sides to every equation.
HELLO, UPDATE: we made up. I realise now that that argument had to happen for us to have a healthy relationship again. We've got "back together", and this time I truly understand her, and in doing that, I no longer feel insecure :) i honestly have total faith this can be a lifelong friendship, based on mutual love, respect, and understanding now. Im so glad- she's the loveliest human i could ever imagine, and she makes me the best version of myself. so if you related to this post: hold on, have faith in love and treat yourself kindly as well as others. I got so close to ending it. But now im well on the path of recovery. The future is up. I swear, everything happens for a reason, even if you can't see it right now. Sending all my love 💕
Edit a month later: she just did the exact same thing. All over again. I don't believe this. I don't know whether to give her a chance or move on. I'm going to find some other friends for now and see what happens. But thank god I reacted well this time. I'm in a better mindset now and I know I'm going to be okay.
I do feel like an idiot for writing all the happy stuff above, however. Though I do still believe in it. Maybe this is for the best.
Edit around 9/10 months later: long time no see. Long story short, we tried to stay just casual friends after that 2nd breakup. We stuck it out for 4 months. One day, I told her I felt like I didn't see her enough, that 'all our memories are being locked into a vault of nostalgia. I miss you. Can we see each other more?'
Days later, she responded, saying that was it. She couldn't do it. She couldn't be friends at all or have me in her life anymore, because it was like opening an old wound every time she saw me.
That was 5 months ago. We haven't spoken since. I have waves of missing her so much it feels meaningless without her. I'm going to contact her in a few years - if I can. I don't know if she'll be friends with me again. This just doesn't feel right. I don't think we're meant to be entirely apart. Something feels wrong in my life without her.
If there's one thing you learn from me: never, ever question someone's love for you over and over again and make them feel not good enough. Don't give in to your insecurities; accept that they love you, maybe not always in the ways you want them to, but you can't change people. You either accept them as they are or be prepared to lose them. I'm paying for my mistakes every second that goes by without her. Please, don't make the same ones I did.
Edit another 5 months after that: if you read anything, read the last paragraph. I just went through a bad month or two with my darling boyfriend for doubting his love for me over and over again. One night I told myself to essentially fuck off and stop doubting both myself and him and accept his promises that he loved me the same, even more than before. I made an effort to be happy and kind and see him as my ally, not my enemy. I feel so much better now and our relationship is starry and thriving again. That paragraph above is the most important one. I still think about my friend every day, missing her like crazy but more resigned, and I'll contact her in a couple years to try and rekindle us or at least apologise for breaking us down. I'll come back here, inevitably, I love this song :)
I felt like I read my own story... Incredible. You're not alone!!! Stay strong 🙏 time doesn't heal a scar like this, I'm still dealing with depression after 3 years since she left me... I have no right to love her but I still do, although nothing will ever make her come back to me... Your story hurts me just the same, hold on 💔❤️
@@leovaldez6139 i know i must sound so cliche, but the agony of not knowing is never, ever gonna get better unless you tell her. worst thing: she reacts terribly and you lose her. yes, it's devastating - believe me, i know - but the difference is at least it has a chance to heal over time. if you stay stuck in that limbo forever it may never improve, you could sacrifice other relationships. im so so sorry - i can't imagine the terror and agony of knowing you might lose her. and you can completely ignore what i say if you wish, it's your decision entirely.
also, i just want to say that the video you linked for me? i watched it about 3 weeks ago. when it loaded my heart stopped because wow that was like some kind of sign, because of all the suicide prevention videos, that was the one that hit me most. thank you. i wish you all the luck in the world.
@@maya_chx Hey, no problem! Clayton Jennings is one of my favorite artists! Always hits me where I'm at. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Thank you for the advice! I'm probably going to hint at it soon in an introverted kind of way. I am one of those people that believes that you can have a wonderful future and relationship with a numerous amount of people, so I'm sure there will be many others. But at the same time I don't want there to be anyone else. It's hard to realize that I could feel this way about someone else in the future: it's so unbelievable. It is true that I am probably sacrificing other relationships, which sucks, but I would gladly sacrifice them if I got her. But whatevs. I'm playing it patient and cool for now. I really can't force anything. I just let my love be shown through my actions. Just hoping and praying.
@@nikkiallen3799 thank you lovely, i hope youre okay, stay strong for me xx and I'm trying to hold on. Really. I am. I just don't know if I can 😂 I can barely get up
Sometimes... it is better to let go so you will keep that beautiful memories of each other.. than to hang on to it and slowly fill up your memories with pain.
''I have no right to miss you, when I didn't want to stay''
I saw that the man I love, who asked me to leave 5 months ago, has been contacting my best friend, asking her how I am, telling her that he misses me. He isn't very emotional, and shows it even less. So the fact that he's been telling someone that he misses me... that's huge.
Trying to process it all.
Must add to that... he came back to me last week. And he's mine now.
Stay in there baby, you truly are the love of my life and I'm so proud of you ❤
This song gets me every time😢
What an amazing song. Will love you. Always. *G*
He made me feel something I never felt! We only had conversions and 1 kiss. He had someone, I had someone. We were confused! I am married now, but there are times when I still miss him. But some things are not meant to be and we cant be driven by emotions all the time. We had to choose. Learn and live♡
I've always liked him but he's so underrated
It's a shame knowing we could be good,that you could treat me better if you wanted to...😓