The wife saying that every woman will cheat if they don’t get what they want tells you everything you need to know: She doesn’t actually feel any remorse and will cheat again. Believe her. 3rd story bf is absolutely awful. I can see where he was coming from but the stuff he said was just terrible and petty. Those commenters are horrible too.
3rd story: Seriously, I saw that in a couple other places and people were absolutely vicious towards her. Personally sounds BF realized he can't handle the fact that she's always going to love her former husband. And handled it in the worst way possible. The man died. They didn't break up. People need to realize that if you're dating someone with a dead SO you need to be comfortable with the knowledge that you likely wouldn't be in this relationship if they were still alive. If you can't handle that then don't get in relationships with people like that.
@@SapphWolfIndeed, the lady I want to pursue a relationship with is a widow. There's some wrinkles preventing the relationship from happening at this time but I'm working on ironing them out. Just a matter of time and I know it. I'm totally fine with it considering I have a powerful feeling the first love of my life also passed away. So in a way, I'm grieving a loss too. God, my heart goes out to OP in story 3 either way, having to deal with a cruel, narcissistic boyfriend who couldn't come to terms with her being a widow and missing her late husband.
@@Tuturial464 And here we go again. People claiming she hasn't moved on because she had the gall to *check notes* feel nostalgic on special occasion and miss someone she lost. No one would have batted an eye if she had pulled up pictures of a family member or female friend she missed because they always did new years together, but she misses her dead spouse occasionally and suddenly "She needs to move on."
Oh and he should also prepare for a life of loneliness and using the term 304 often 📣 Incels prepare for another member 😂 I've always wondered how they were made lol🤔
3rd story: I dont understand how she doesn't see why her ex was upset about this. While I'm not the biggest fan of therapy in general, she deffinitly needs some sort of advanced grief counselling.
Clearly she's still grieving and grief has no timeframe. Her ex couldn't accept it and decided to ditch. Personally, I think he did her a solid. She deserves someone who is more compassionate and understanding. The guy treated her cruelly. She'll look back and realize she not only dodged a bullet, she also dodged a fully loaded nuclear warhead that was ready to detonate at any time.
@@DesertRainReads Or she will realize that she is not really ready for a COMMITTED relationship, because she is still more committed to her late husband, and it seems she always will be. The ironic thing is that in cases like this, where the spouse dies young, they are forever idealized, when in reality, if he had lived they might even be divorced by now.
@@DesertRainReads i dont know, i think it's reasonable to assume that in a relationship you don't put anyone above your partner, unless you have children. I don't think "she dodged a bullet" as you said (wich I don't agree with because she is to blame here too) is because her ex couldn't keep living with the red flag that is her obvious attachment to her dead husband. If anything, she is the cruel one for leading him on. I'm not going to say that her attachment or grief are invalid, but I am saying that if her current partner keeps seeing her looking back at old pictures of herself and her dead husband... that would eventually wear down everyone (especially if these are, as she said, NSFW). Also, if she's still grieving this badly after what did the story say? 6 or 8 years? She deffinitly should search out some kind of help and not a romantic relationship.
The man broke up with OP for the exact same reasoning when you date someone not over their ex. Looking at their ex's photo while dating someone else for 3 years, that's a huge red flag.
@@DesertRainReads grief is something you work through not wallow in and she is wallowing like a pig in mud 8 years on and 3 yrs into a relationship with someone else. That love she had with him and claimed to want again isn't going to appear if she has her head in her satin pillow weeping over their home made porn. Normal healthy expressions of grief don't look like that especially not when your current partner is literally steps away and you are oh so surprised they are justifiably pissed off. She needs to stay away from dating other people she's not ready and that's completely unfair to anyone she attempts a relationship with.
Story 1- When all the people you have relationships end up cheating on you (assuming that you are not cheating on them), then your partner picker is broken. And it sounds like a broken record, but a therapist can help you figure out why you are attracted to people like this.
BS, women will cheat if you leave for a job even if it is for you to support her and the family you both created she will cheat no matter what you do, and no matter how much you love her, that's just how they are and they will expect you to just forgive them lmfao like she felt lonely. IF you don't like what I just said it's your problem.
@@Ando1428 let me tell you this all my friends from when I started high school got in to problems because of their "girlfriends" and in my first or second year of high school I got in to fight because of some people who hit my friend and guess why? because " his" girlfriend can't decide on whos to date yet, and right now I SWEAR to god RIGHT NOW my neighbor who comes to her parents house because her husband work in the military and he needs to go for a long period of times is cheating on him and every day some random guy picks her up to dates SHE USED TO BE A GOOD WOMEN and I'm 100% sure if someone ask her she will tell him or her husband if he caches her that she was lonely , and you expect me to believe them? I did not date any girl and I'm not going to do so especially after my fight in high school 12 or 13 years ago until I'm ready mentally, physically and financially because I KNOW she will start to be a problem the moment I have problems with money or the moment I can't stand her BS or I have problems in Bed because I'm in bad shape or something like that, mentally and physically I'm good but financially I'm not there yet but let me tell you this I'm going to be picky also when it comes to my wife because I don't want some 304 to be in that position, and many girls tried to ask me to date or start a relationship over the years some even went to marriage after I graduated collage and I refuse just because of two reasons, first I know it's not going anywhere and I'm not ready second I don't like to lead girls especially if they are good and innocent because their father used most of his money and health to rise them and I'm in no position to replace him if I'm not ready to do so, you will say now that I just admitted that they are good! I know but when they don't get what they want or find a weakness in you they will change.
Story2: It sounds like you're really doing your best to balance your family's expectations with your own needs and boundaries. It’s clear that you love them deeply, but it's also important to take care of yourself and your own happiness. It’s okay to seek independence and stand up for yourself, especially when you're being treated unfairly
Story 1: When i was in middle school, we had a field trip to a paint ball arena, my parents gave me 100 bucks for spending on it, only as it turned out, one of my friends decided that he wanted more so he stole it, i knew he did it, but with no proof, and the teachers not giving a shit, i couldn’t do anything, point is, this taught me a very important lesson, *value loyalty above all else* and if you have to test for it, go right ahead, the problem with op here is that he was too trusting, you would think after getting cheated on *EVERYSINGLE TIME* that he would learn, but he didn’t and instead chose to blindly trust his partners, he should have done everythibg to receive as much information as possible to determine whether she is clean or dirty, but he didn’t, it is his own fault for being sloppy.
Yikes! Re: 1st story and the generational trauma. As for story 3, unfortunately the relationship was probably always going to end like this. Grieve the breakup.
2nd story is exhausting. But its not like I don't have an idea what shes going through. Im hispanic and grew up with immigrant parents, as did my friends. I have seen all kinds of people who come from that kind of life and have experienced my own. My problem is that she is not fixing the cycle. She is continuing it. She sounds just like my own mother who had her own hardships and never tried to grow out of it. She needs to put distance between her family and herself, become independent. She can always keep a relationship, but needs to learn that when she sets boundaries, they aren't "hey can you not do that? No? Okay..." Its "I don't like when you do this, and if you do it again- we aren't talking."
3rd story: She doesn't deserve all the hate she got, however, she shouldn't even have tried to compromise with still keeping the raunchy photos. It's A ok to love & appreciate former partners, its a really good sign of compassion & commitment. It's very important to understand what you should & shouldn't keep of previous partners, if you're planning to continue finding your SO. It's not healthy to hold on to everything that was once a person, because the constant reminders will only depress you further (not saying you shouldn't have key momentos of your loved ones). She needs therapy, there is nothing wrong in seeking help for grief. It is very beneficial, even for things you imagined were unrelated, but got resolved due to the source being snuffed out. The bf was quite right in feeling betrayed. She is not innocent for having a stash of inappropriate photos with her former SO. its not right. It wouldn't have bothered him, if they were SFW. Example: pictures of them being silly together, at an amusement park, out for a stroll/ice-cream, just enjoying each other's company as that is beautiful. This was different, the underlying suggestion of what they were doing was nothing less than a slap to the face. The bf could've at least not been a dirtbag, when it came to her frequenting the graveyard. I totally agree. The dead (if they weren't the worst kind of human being while alive), deserve to be honored & remembered. I, personally, would love to hear SFW memories from my future SO, if they're a widow. That's just my opinion, though. If you don't mind your SO having lewdies of previous partners, that's your choice. 🤷♂️
I agree with you she didn’t deserve all the hate when u lose someone it doesn’t take a yr or 3 to go away grieve does sneak up on you, as far as the photos when she explain they was just lil cute moments and shit if she was gonna keep them she should at least blocked out the naked ones in case a moment like that happens or gotten rid of the ones that could potentially threaten a future relationship, but in my opinion he went too hard in disrespectfing her dead husband like the issues with her don’t take it there with the dead
@@Mswhatsittoya YES! I, especially, appreciate the way you phrased that last sentence. Her late husband did nothing, but love her, truly! She needs to address her grief, properly, instead of denying that anything is concerning with what she is doing. The bf was very much in the wrong for bullying the deceased.
There's a lot of disfunction in Op's life in the first story. My brother, many years ago had similar sentiments about women. I reminded him as, his sister I'm a woman and I am not like that. Perhaps it's the women he was drawn to? There's always a nuance you didn't even know you're attracted to.
I agree. His recollection of his childhood and his parents dysfunctional marriage shows he has no idea what a healthy marriage or relationship looks like. He said he's been cheated on in every relationship he's had. If he doesn't take time for therapy and introspection, I fear he will continue to fall for more women like his ex.
Yep, like women who always get with guys who physically abuse them. You can put them in a room with 99 upstanding men and one abuser and they will pick the abuser everytime. Therapy can help a person recognize what characteristics they find attractive, like "love bombing", that are the characteristics found in abusers.
@@maxmccullough8548 You are confused over which is the exception. Most women do not cheat. Neither do most men. However if you take 5 minutes to Google it you will see men are more likely to cheat than women, so your views of women should apply more to men. I would provide sources but RUclips doesn't allow external links. OP and probably you as well think your generalisation of most women being bad is rational and people who disagree are reacting emotionally, but again the opposite is true. The statistics show that. You can even see it in the small sample size of this post. OP's wife cheated on her husband, OP's brother cheated on his wife, yet OP irrationally only condemned women as fundamentally unfaithful, because his thinking was led by his emotions.
Story 1: if every women he found cheated on him. Maybe he should cast his net in a different lake. Reminds me on my friend who can't keep a dude yet goes to late night bars and hooks up with frat bros
i have a feeling its his own self worth it so low that he doesn't feel worth a good woman. but thats just going from his X's and his family. from what or how they have spoken to him all his life.
Yeah OP is definitely subconsciously picking the worst effing women to date and marry if every single woman he has been with has cheated. I wouldn't be surprised if he's picking women like his mom, who it turns out is a gross cheater too. Chances are that he finds them at bars and pubs or at parties, and chances are his type is the hot party girl type. He's picking his partners in all the wrong ways.
Story 1: It's always so pathetic when vile people defend their vile actions and choices by saying "everyone makes mistakes, you too" or "no one is perfect, neither are you", like OP's brother did. It's such a cowardly cop-out to avoid accountability. What they are trying to do is to equate their genuinely evil actions with whatever mistakes the victim has made, as if they cancel each other out.
aaaaaaand blaming the guy for getting cheated on Lets do the same with woman "you get r@pd because of that attitude of yours and your choice of clothing"
People are people and it doesn't matter where they are from, but a person like Op just KNOWS it has nothing to do with him and is the fault of those women HE IS CHOOSING!
Dam op is going thru it but not trynna victim blame but idk choose better, how has every one you been with cheated? I hope he stay strong and heals. GOD DAM everyone in that family is so miserable his ex brother is bitter..
For the last story. Not everyone is strong enough to handle dating someone whose past SO died. People become so obsessed with competeing with the dead that they will sabotage the relationship and often hurt their partner out of jealousy and insecurity. OPs ex literally got jealous she visited his grave on his birthday and past anniversary ffs
Story 1: why is it that when a woman gets dogged on by men, no one tries to correct her when she says all men are trash but the same thing happens to a man and people lose their minds over his statement against women. He’s speaking out of pain the same way you women do when you pick terrible men.
Uh, what? Clearly you haven't experienced loss like that in your life. She was grieving her late husband and doing so in her own way. Boyfriend was clearly unaccepting that her late husband will always have a place in her heart and decided to cut and run. She deserves someone who will understand, so if anything the boyfriend did her a solid by ditching. I hope she finds the peace she needs either way.
That “back in the day, people had better self respect” if the self delusions people tell themselves. People have been cheating forever. Yall need to do better
I moved to Mexico after 40 yrs, I've noticed that the majority of people are Narcissists. Seriously it's amazing the Education in schools is way lower than in the USA. 😊
Op on the second story has no accountantabily Its been 8 years yes its awful but she messed ip on her now bf and didnt validate him she needs to just move on that man is hurt and done leave him alone
story1) let him die and youre not in the wrong, your brother is a monster, he only gave good advice after he found out hes going to die, let him rot and leave her, she cheated and wanted someone/something while they already have something story2) leave them and make them suffer story3) i understand where both of you stand, op has lost someone dear to them without warning so watching them from a picture or video can help grieve (i think) but OP's BF needs to understand that wouldn't even be in your life if he was alive, and that its also uncomfortable when you watch intimate videos of him while dating BF, may makes things awkward. But you need to move on, and try, remember is basically a drug like euphoria which is making it harder to let go, you're still grieving so you still trying to date someone while having intimate videos of them doesn't help, he also in not innocent either, he needs to understand that you need to cope, someone you loved dearly die unexpectedly, another is that how you still do care about him
Jesus story 3 Doesn't need a man she needs therapy. It was a private moment?? You weren't alone the person who you were sleeping with and claimed to love was in the next room. He had every right to say and feel what he felt because she's next level delusional about being remotely over her husband's death. Visiting a grave completely normal sentimental keep sakes normal looking at images of you and your late partner naked loving each other up while your current partner is literally feet away only to be surprised he's hurt and hugly pissed is a level of hot mess.
Story 3, op doesn't need to date if she's still this attached to her late husband I don't blame him for being mad. She needs to completely heal before she tried dating again She hurt her bf. Op did cheat on him mentally. She shouldn't be with someone and then go look at this stuff She defend everything she does having to do with her husband but you can't go around wearing his wedding ring when you're with other people!!! She's fucking messed up and needs therapy
story 3: why date a widow if you dont accept their love to their lost one? you all act like it is just an ex. he is DEATH and she will never stop loving him and that is fine🙏
@@buttertoast7262 Absolutely right. When all you end up with are cheating partners, the question is not WHY do you attract cheaters, but why YOU are attracted to THEM.
I’m gonna go against the grain here, but I don’t entirely get why the OP in the last story was in the wrong? She lost her husband to an accident and missed him, so she dug up some old photos and videos of them together to help with the grief. Maybe it’s my asexuality, but I do not get why the video being NSFW was such a big deal. She said she wasn’t watching it to masturbate, just because it’s a good memory and she needed that at that moment. I get that it’s probably shocking to walk in on your girlfriend watching it, but if he’d let her explain it shouldn’t have been that big a deal. If you asked me, I think he was the one wasting her time. If you don’t wanna be someone’s “second choice” and actively feel threatened by a dead guy, go date someone who’s not a widower. Yeah maybe she needs some grief counseling, but I don’t get how looking at old videos is a sign that she hasn’t moved on. Maybe I’m in the wrong here, but I do not understand why. Genuinely, could someone explain it to me?
Bit hard to sympathize with OP when he went straight to xenophobic views. He may have been cheated on in the past, but if it KEEPS happening, there's a common denominator here he's not facing that isn't entirely the women if they were all, supposedly, different. The woman sounds like a walking red flag that outright told him without saying she'd do it again and wasn't sorry, he chose a woman who sounds and behaves exactly like his mom and his brother made it worse by giving him the negative view he grew up with as the known Affair baby and blames others instead of his bio mom and dad.
Yeah, honestly, both brothers sound like they hate(d) women, and Op definitely fetishizes women from other countries like green card scams don't exist. Being cheated on is awful, but OP gave me the creeps with that rant.
Story 3: it is messed up to look at nsfw videos and pictures of you and another man. Even if it is your late husband. It shows that you wont let your bf anywhere close in your heart as your husband
I hate that they said that All American women are trifling. That's a lie. That's a whole lot. I'm an American woman and I would never stop generalizing s*** Your american wife It's a cheater, not All American women are bad. That's crazy behavior
Men, especially foreign men, don't like a strong independent woman. Oh no, we can think for ourselves and we say no to men, the horror! xDDDDD It's hilarious and sad how many men project onto women simply because they feel threatened or insecure.
OP1 is such a chump. His bro slept with his wife, didn’t regret it, and he still gave him closure. It’s like I hope EVERY one of his future gfs/wives cheats on him, he doesn’t deserve to be happy.
Story 1) OP has just insulted every single female of the country by calling us all 'trifling would be cheaters. " F8 him. Had he said that HIS wife cheated with scum brother, that would be one thing, and I would have sympathy for the AH. but not with that blanket INSULT. The AH brother was a scumbag incel who got lucky. story 3) Um OP, you are NOT ready to be in another relationship. Full stop. Personally, I don't think that the BF should put himself into a world of hurt with someone ( OP ) who cannot see BF for ghost of dead husband. OP The BF is TIRED of having to compete with a dead guy because the BF knows he will NEVER win that competition. ( Sort of how siblings of a dead child whose AH parents never stop putting the dead child as the MOST perfect, most best child of all time. and forget the living children's feelings and then get all pikachu face with the surviving kids finally say " ENOUGH and go LC/ NC with the AH parents.
@@marystarr3025 everyone in his life including his own mother contributed to his views, including his wife outright stating his 'insult' to be a fact of life. He's clearly a product of his environment and needs support from people who won't reinforce shitty views.
@@MacerXGP At this point he is attracted to people like his ex and his mother AND his brother. I can guarantee you that if a very "upstanding", non-cheating woman went out with him he would find something unattractive with her, saying the chemistry isn't there, and then proceed to hook up with another version of his ex.
The wife saying that every woman will cheat if they don’t get what they want tells you everything you need to know: She doesn’t actually feel any remorse and will cheat again. Believe her.
3rd story bf is absolutely awful. I can see where he was coming from but the stuff he said was just terrible and petty. Those commenters are horrible too.
3rd story: Seriously, I saw that in a couple other places and people were absolutely vicious towards her. Personally sounds BF realized he can't handle the fact that she's always going to love her former husband. And handled it in the worst way possible. The man died. They didn't break up.
People need to realize that if you're dating someone with a dead SO you need to be comfortable with the knowledge that you likely wouldn't be in this relationship if they were still alive. If you can't handle that then don't get in relationships with people like that.
@@SapphWolfIndeed, the lady I want to pursue a relationship with is a widow. There's some wrinkles preventing the relationship from happening at this time but I'm working on ironing them out. Just a matter of time and I know it. I'm totally fine with it considering I have a powerful feeling the first love of my life also passed away. So in a way, I'm grieving a loss too. God, my heart goes out to OP in story 3 either way, having to deal with a cruel, narcissistic boyfriend who couldn't come to terms with her being a widow and missing her late husband.
She wasnt ready to move on as well @@DesertRainReads
@DesertRainReads she's also in the wrong because she wasn't ready to move on
@@Tuturial464 And here we go again. People claiming she hasn't moved on because she had the gall to *check notes* feel nostalgic on special occasion and miss someone she lost.
No one would have batted an eye if she had pulled up pictures of a family member or female friend she missed because they always did new years together, but she misses her dead spouse occasionally and suddenly "She needs to move on."
Woman who cheat while husband are away does not need to be called a wife and op is heartless? Fuck no he did the right thing
OP need a better family. He should never listen to his mother, brother or wife. Therapy and no contact will be the only option.
@@veronica5lmaa shout out for meeting that story with understanding, you're a good person.
Oh and he should also prepare for a life of loneliness and using the term 304 often 📣 Incels prepare for another member 😂 I've always wondered how they were made lol🤔
3rd story: I dont understand how she doesn't see why her ex was upset about this. While I'm not the biggest fan of therapy in general, she deffinitly needs some sort of advanced grief counselling.
Clearly she's still grieving and grief has no timeframe. Her ex couldn't accept it and decided to ditch. Personally, I think he did her a solid. She deserves someone who is more compassionate and understanding. The guy treated her cruelly. She'll look back and realize she not only dodged a bullet, she also dodged a fully loaded nuclear warhead that was ready to detonate at any time.
@@DesertRainReads Or she will realize that she is not really ready for a COMMITTED relationship, because she is still more committed to her late husband, and it seems she always will be.
The ironic thing is that in cases like this, where the spouse dies young, they are forever idealized, when in reality, if he had lived they might even be divorced by now.
@@DesertRainReads i dont know, i think it's reasonable to assume that in a relationship you don't put anyone above your partner, unless you have children.
I don't think "she dodged a bullet" as you said (wich I don't agree with because she is to blame here too) is because her ex couldn't keep living with the red flag that is her obvious attachment to her dead husband. If anything, she is the cruel one for leading him on.
I'm not going to say that her attachment or grief are invalid, but I am saying that if her current partner keeps seeing her looking back at old pictures of herself and her dead husband... that would eventually wear down everyone (especially if these are, as she said, NSFW).
Also, if she's still grieving this badly after what did the story say? 6 or 8 years? She deffinitly should search out some kind of help and not a romantic relationship.
The man broke up with OP for the exact same reasoning when you date someone not over their ex. Looking at their ex's photo while dating someone else for 3 years, that's a huge red flag.
@@DesertRainReads grief is something you work through not wallow in and she is wallowing like a pig in mud 8 years on and 3 yrs into a relationship with someone else. That love she had with him and claimed to want again isn't going to appear if she has her head in her satin pillow weeping over their home made porn. Normal healthy expressions of grief don't look like that especially not when your current partner is literally steps away and you are oh so surprised they are justifiably pissed off. She needs to stay away from dating other people she's not ready and that's completely unfair to anyone she attempts a relationship with.
Story 2 is just exhausting.
Abusive and controling parents. Just hope this person realizes keeping them in her live is not going to help.
You better than me. I still wouldn’t have went to see him. F*ck that!!! He’s gone and you the one left with on your mind and he dead 🤦🏽♀️
I definitely would have gone. Just to have.......Fun.
Laughing and reminiscing a love that pissed away is considered cheating
I wuld have gone just to tell him I hope it really hurts.
I honestly love how story 1 was short, sweet, and to the point. I dont blame him.
Wow. Top to bottom, everyone in OP’s life is a POS.
I'd probably include the OP in that
Story 1- When all the people you have relationships end up cheating on you (assuming that you are not cheating on them), then your partner picker is broken. And it sounds like a broken record, but a therapist can help you figure out why you are attracted to people like this.
He might be to far gone. He is super jaded now.
Cap.
BS, women will cheat if you leave for a job even if it is for you to support her and the family you both created she will cheat no matter what you do, and no matter how much you love her, that's just how they are and they will expect you to just forgive them lmfao like she felt lonely.
IF you don't like what I just said it's your problem.
@@headofchaos298 people with poor morales maybe. If that has mainly been your experience then that says a lot more about you then it does about them.
@@Ando1428 let me tell you this all my friends from when I started high school got in to problems because of their "girlfriends" and in my first or second year of high school I got in to fight because of some people who hit my friend and guess why? because " his" girlfriend can't decide on whos to date yet, and right now I SWEAR to god RIGHT NOW my neighbor who comes to her parents house because her husband work in the military and he needs to go for a long period of times is cheating on him and every day some random guy picks her up to dates SHE USED TO BE A GOOD WOMEN and I'm 100% sure if someone ask her she will tell him or her husband if he caches her that she was lonely , and you expect me to believe them? I did not date any girl and I'm not going to do so especially after my fight in high school 12 or 13 years ago until I'm ready mentally, physically and financially because I KNOW she will start to be a problem the moment I have problems with money or the moment I can't stand her BS or I have problems in Bed because I'm in bad shape or something like that, mentally and physically I'm good but financially I'm not there yet but let me tell you this I'm going to be picky also when it comes to my wife because I don't want some 304 to be in that position, and many girls tried to ask me to date or start a relationship over the years some even went to marriage after I graduated collage and I refuse just because of two reasons, first I know it's not going anywhere and I'm not ready second I don't like to lead girls especially if they are good and innocent because their father used most of his money and health to rise them and I'm in no position to replace him if I'm not ready to do so, you will say now that I just admitted that they are good! I know but when they don't get what they want or find a weakness in you they will change.
Story2: It sounds like you're really doing your best to balance your family's expectations with your own needs and boundaries. It’s clear that you love them deeply, but it's also important to take care of yourself and your own happiness. It’s okay to seek independence and stand up for yourself, especially when you're being treated unfairly
Story 1: When i was in middle school, we had a field trip to a paint ball arena, my parents gave me 100 bucks for spending on it, only as it turned out, one of my friends decided that he wanted more so he stole it, i knew he did it, but with no proof, and the teachers not giving a shit, i couldn’t do anything, point is, this taught me a very important lesson, *value loyalty above all else* and if you have to test for it, go right ahead, the problem with op here is that he was too trusting, you would think after getting cheated on *EVERYSINGLE TIME* that he would learn, but he didn’t and instead chose to blindly trust his partners, he should have done everythibg to receive as much information as possible to determine whether she is clean or dirty, but he didn’t, it is his own fault for being sloppy.
Yikes! Re: 1st story and the generational trauma.
As for story 3, unfortunately the relationship was probably always going to end like this. Grieve the breakup.
Ahhh the POC Eldest Daughter Experience™️
2nd story is exhausting. But its not like I don't have an idea what shes going through. Im hispanic and grew up with immigrant parents, as did my friends. I have seen all kinds of people who come from that kind of life and have experienced my own. My problem is that she is not fixing the cycle. She is continuing it. She sounds just like my own mother who had her own hardships and never tried to grow out of it. She needs to put distance between her family and herself, become independent. She can always keep a relationship, but needs to learn that when she sets boundaries, they aren't "hey can you not do that? No? Okay..." Its "I don't like when you do this, and if you do it again- we aren't talking."
Not every American woman is trifling. I am not and I haven’t and won’t ever cheat. My first husband cheated on me but I don’t say all men are trifling
This story kinda of sus maybe written by a foreigner who is claiming to be from the U.S.
@@manutd316 A foreigner or an incel or both.
@@lilywong9672 a married incel? Make it make sense.
@@MacerXGPA married incel is a man whose wife refuses to sleep with him. It happens more often than you think.
Give the guy a break. He's raging. Understandable. Unless you're his ex, there's no reason to take his statement personally.
3rd story: She doesn't deserve all the hate she got, however, she shouldn't even have tried to compromise with still keeping the raunchy photos. It's A ok to love & appreciate former partners, its a really good sign of compassion & commitment. It's very important to understand what you should & shouldn't keep of previous partners, if you're planning to continue finding your SO. It's not healthy to hold on to everything that was once a person, because the constant reminders will only depress you further (not saying you shouldn't have key momentos of your loved ones).
She needs therapy, there is nothing wrong in seeking help for grief. It is very beneficial, even for things you imagined were unrelated, but got resolved due to the source being snuffed out.
The bf was quite right in feeling betrayed. She is not innocent for having a stash of inappropriate photos with her former SO. its not right. It wouldn't have bothered him, if they were SFW. Example: pictures of them being silly together, at an amusement park, out for a stroll/ice-cream, just enjoying each other's company as that is beautiful. This was different, the underlying suggestion of what they were doing was nothing less than a slap to the face.
The bf could've at least not been a dirtbag, when it came to her frequenting the graveyard. I totally agree. The dead (if they weren't the worst kind of human being while alive), deserve to be honored & remembered. I, personally, would love to hear SFW memories from my future SO, if they're a widow. That's just my opinion, though. If you don't mind your SO having lewdies of previous partners, that's your choice. 🤷♂️
I agree with you she didn’t deserve all the hate when u lose someone it doesn’t take a yr or 3 to go away grieve does sneak up on you, as far as the photos when she explain they was just lil cute moments and shit if she was gonna keep them she should at least blocked out the naked ones in case a moment like that happens or gotten rid of the ones that could potentially threaten a future relationship, but in my opinion he went too hard in disrespectfing her dead husband like the issues with her don’t take it there with the dead
@@Mswhatsittoya YES! I, especially, appreciate the way you phrased that last sentence. Her late husband did nothing, but love her, truly! She needs to address her grief, properly, instead of denying that anything is concerning with what she is doing. The bf was very much in the wrong for bullying the deceased.
@@KingDeadManbut she wasn’t in the right either
There's a lot of disfunction in Op's life in the first story. My brother, many years ago had similar sentiments about women. I reminded him as, his sister I'm a woman and I am not like that. Perhaps it's the women he was drawn to? There's always a nuance you didn't even know you're attracted to.
I agree. His recollection of his childhood and his parents dysfunctional marriage shows he has no idea what a healthy marriage or relationship looks like. He said he's been cheated on in every relationship he's had. If he doesn't take time for therapy and introspection, I fear he will continue to fall for more women like his ex.
Yep, like women who always get with guys who physically abuse them. You can put them in a room with 99 upstanding men and one abuser and they will pick the abuser everytime.
Therapy can help a person recognize what characteristics they find attractive, like "love bombing", that are the characteristics found in abusers.
The exception exists to prove the rule, you personally not being "like that" does not negate the fact that the vast majority of women are.
@@MegaHarvickFan29 not fall in love with women. But continue to break the women's families
@@maxmccullough8548 You are confused over which is the exception. Most women do not cheat. Neither do most men. However if you take 5 minutes to Google it you will see men are more likely to cheat than women, so your views of women should apply more to men. I would provide sources but RUclips doesn't allow external links. OP and probably you as well think your generalisation of most women being bad is rational and people who disagree are reacting emotionally, but again the opposite is true. The statistics show that. You can even see it in the small sample size of this post. OP's wife cheated on her husband, OP's brother cheated on his wife, yet OP irrationally only condemned women as fundamentally unfaithful, because his thinking was led by his emotions.
Story 1: if every women he found cheated on him. Maybe he should cast his net in a different lake.
Reminds me on my friend who can't keep a dude yet goes to late night bars and hooks up with frat bros
i have a feeling its his own self worth it so low that he doesn't feel worth a good woman.
but thats just going from his X's and his family. from what or how they have spoken to him all his life.
Yeah OP is definitely subconsciously picking the worst effing women to date and marry if every single woman he has been with has cheated. I wouldn't be surprised if he's picking women like his mom, who it turns out is a gross cheater too. Chances are that he finds them at bars and pubs or at parties, and chances are his type is the hot party girl type. He's picking his partners in all the wrong ways.
1st story in my head I was hearing the song american woman by: The Guess Who, can you hear it, american woman stay away from me
Good grief man...
My heart goes out to the OP in the first story. That's a LOT to deal with.
Story 1: It's always so pathetic when vile people defend their vile actions and choices by saying "everyone makes mistakes, you too" or "no one is perfect, neither are you", like OP's brother did. It's such a cowardly cop-out to avoid accountability. What they are trying to do is to equate their genuinely evil actions with whatever mistakes the victim has made, as if they cancel each other out.
1st story, Poor Op i can understand the harsher then needed way of thinking but i really hope he finds a partner who can change this p.o.v
3rd: wtf is wrong with her, bf should have left
“You should sleep in his grave”
Shitshtain behavior
@@HarryVibes36 doesn't change the fact that the bf is the second choice
@@HarryVibes36 She was watching softporn of her past lover. And you can't even spell shitstain, shitstain
3rd story: she's not ready for new relationship, yet there she was run around wasting people's time.
First story’s OP has a really.. interesting attitude. Gotta imagine that played a part
aaaaaaand blaming the guy for getting cheated on
Lets do the same with woman "you get r@pd because of that attitude of yours and your choice of clothing"
"Typical female crap" less than two minutes in I can already tell he hates women.
@@Al.E.Gator_99 You can't bring that up without acknowledging literally everyone around him thinks the same way *including his wife*
@@MacerXGPwhich is why it reads like a fake story
what attitude?
Op Story 1 should watch the American men in 90 day fiance. Theyre getting cheated on left and right by women from other countries.
People are people and it doesn't matter where they are from, but a person like Op just KNOWS it has nothing to do with him and is the fault of those women HE IS CHOOSING!
@shells500tutubo yeah he's overlooking or ignoring something about these women.
Story 1 OP deserves a better partner. And if he needs to work on himself before he can trust a woman again, maybe he should consider the other side.
2nd st title was misleading
Dam op is going thru it but not trynna victim blame but idk choose better, how has every one you been with cheated? I hope he stay strong and heals. GOD DAM everyone in that family is so miserable his ex brother is bitter..
exactly
I wouldn’t forget my brother
You mean forgive?
@@Tuturial464 yea
Every girl cheats when she doesnt get what she wants?? Not me! Not in my Vocabulary, marriage is not perfect i just have to accept that.
For the last story. Not everyone is strong enough to handle dating someone whose past SO died.
People become so obsessed with competeing with the dead that they will sabotage the relationship and often hurt their partner out of jealousy and insecurity.
OPs ex literally got jealous she visited his grave on his birthday and past anniversary ffs
Story 1: why is it that when a woman gets dogged on by men, no one tries to correct her when she says all men are trash but the same thing happens to a man and people lose their minds over his statement against women. He’s speaking out of pain the same way you women do when you pick terrible men.
Story 3: yes, ytah. If you are not over your ex, don't enter any relationship. Op is a massive selfish jerk.
Uh, what? Clearly you haven't experienced loss like that in your life. She was grieving her late husband and doing so in her own way. Boyfriend was clearly unaccepting that her late husband will always have a place in her heart and decided to cut and run. She deserves someone who will understand, so if anything the boyfriend did her a solid by ditching. I hope she finds the peace she needs either way.
Clealry but at the same time, do you know how it feels to be second fiddle? @@DesertRainReads
@DesertRainReads and the best way to have those kind of photos of your late spouse? Clealry not, she needed therapy
@DesertRainReads No one should play second favorite partner in a relationship. She's the asshole, and needs therapy.
thank you
First guy really needs therapy. Misanthropy doesn't lead you anywhere good
That “back in the day, people had better self respect” if the self delusions people tell themselves. People have been cheating forever. Yall need to do better
I moved to Mexico after 40 yrs, I've noticed that the majority of people are Narcissists. Seriously it's amazing the Education in schools is way lower than in the USA. 😊
First story is like an episode of Jerry Springer.
Op on the second story has no accountantabily
Its been 8 years yes its awful but she messed ip on her now bf and didnt validate him she needs to just move on that man is hurt and done leave him alone
story1) let him die and youre not in the wrong, your brother is a monster, he only gave good advice after he found out hes going to die, let him rot and leave her, she cheated and wanted someone/something while they already have something
story2) leave them and make them suffer
story3) i understand where both of you stand, op has lost someone dear to them without warning so watching them from a picture or video can help grieve (i think) but OP's BF needs to understand that wouldn't even be in your life if he was alive, and that its also uncomfortable when you watch intimate videos of him while dating BF, may makes things awkward. But you need to move on, and try, remember is basically a drug like euphoria which is making it harder to let go, you're still grieving so you still trying to date someone while having intimate videos of them doesn't help, he also in not innocent either, he needs to understand that you need to cope, someone you loved dearly die unexpectedly, another is that how you still do care about him
1st story: I'm sorry why the fuck the brother had the gall to even say all of that? Why on earth OP even meet him?
That family all f up
1st story is also on rspace
Jesus story 3 Doesn't need a man she needs therapy. It was a private moment?? You weren't alone the person who you were sleeping with and claimed to love was in the next room. He had every right to say and feel what he felt because she's next level delusional about being remotely over her husband's death. Visiting a grave completely normal sentimental keep sakes normal looking at images of you and your late partner naked loving each other up while your current partner is literally feet away only to be surprised he's hurt and hugly pissed is a level of hot mess.
Story 3, op doesn't need to date if she's still this attached to her late husband
I don't blame him for being mad.
She needs to completely heal before she tried dating again
She hurt her bf. Op did cheat on him mentally. She shouldn't be with someone and then go look at this stuff
She defend everything she does having to do with her husband but you can't go around wearing his wedding ring when you're with other people!!!
She's fucking messed up and needs therapy
3rd story: ex bf deserves better than a partner who looks at softporn of her past lover, YTA. hope your softporn keeps you warm at night.
to anyone who attempts to critique my statement, if the genders were reversed, would you still stand up for OP?
Who took the photos of OP and her late husband in intimate moments anyway since it sounds like they weren’t selfies
oh so the whole family is just messed up okay
Story 2: mental health in Spanish culture is non existent. You described my family and I don’t talk to them anymore. Good riddance.
story 3: why date a widow if you dont accept their love to their lost one? you all act like it is just an ex. he is DEATH and she will never stop loving him and that is fine🙏
Op 1 needs therapy
Well yeah, of course but he's not completely in the wrong
His wife is horrible, but blaming all women. Sounds very similar with a woman hating on men "all men bad"
@@Tuturial464 plus.. he keeps attracting all these shit women. He needs a break. Just don't Justified hating all.
@@buttertoast7262 Absolutely right. When all you end up with are cheating partners, the question is not WHY do you attract cheaters, but why YOU are attracted to THEM.
@buttertoast7262 right, like yiu anything of trauma and relationships issues
I’m gonna go against the grain here, but I don’t entirely get why the OP in the last story was in the wrong? She lost her husband to an accident and missed him, so she dug up some old photos and videos of them together to help with the grief. Maybe it’s my asexuality, but I do not get why the video being NSFW was such a big deal. She said she wasn’t watching it to masturbate, just because it’s a good memory and she needed that at that moment. I get that it’s probably shocking to walk in on your girlfriend watching it, but if he’d let her explain it shouldn’t have been that big a deal. If you asked me, I think he was the one wasting her time. If you don’t wanna be someone’s “second choice” and actively feel threatened by a dead guy, go date someone who’s not a widower. Yeah maybe she needs some grief counseling, but I don’t get how looking at old videos is a sign that she hasn’t moved on.
Maybe I’m in the wrong here, but I do not understand why. Genuinely, could someone explain it to me?
Every woman will cheat but then she says she's sorry? Math aint mathing here love
Bit hard to sympathize with OP when he went straight to xenophobic views. He may have been cheated on in the past, but if it KEEPS happening, there's a common denominator here he's not facing that isn't entirely the women if they were all, supposedly, different. The woman sounds like a walking red flag that outright told him without saying she'd do it again and wasn't sorry, he chose a woman who sounds and behaves exactly like his mom and his brother made it worse by giving him the negative view he grew up with as the known Affair baby and blames others instead of his bio mom and dad.
Yeah, honestly, both brothers sound like they hate(d) women, and Op definitely fetishizes women from other countries like green card scams don't exist. Being cheated on is awful, but OP gave me the creeps with that rant.
>zionist
I don't think you ha e the slightest clue what that word means.
@MacerXGP I'll apologize for using the wrong terminology when I meant Xenophobic, but Zion was the first to come to mind incorrectly in sound
@@CG-yb6zj That's... Also wrong. You mean misogynistic.
Can you blame him, if someone was being traumatized by women, he would have a hard time trusting them. Kind of like me too movement @CG-yb6zj
Story 3: it is messed up to look at nsfw videos and pictures of you and another man. Even if it is your late husband. It shows that you wont let your bf anywhere close in your heart as your husband
I hate that they said that All American women are trifling. That's a lie. That's a whole lot. I'm an American woman and I would never stop generalizing s***
Your american wife It's a cheater, not All American women are bad. That's crazy behavior
Stop trifling
lol jk jk
Facts.
Yikes OP
American women are good. Just find the right one 😂😅
Men, especially foreign men, don't like a strong independent woman. Oh no, we can think for ourselves and we say no to men, the horror! xDDDDD
It's hilarious and sad how many men project onto women simply because they feel threatened or insecure.
6:54 icel fanfic detected
S1: lmao this is just mgtow propaganda
OP keeps getting cheated on because he keeps dating feminist types.
The lack of English is bad bad.
OP1 is such a chump. His bro slept with his wife, didn’t regret it, and he still gave him closure. It’s like I hope EVERY one of his future gfs/wives cheats on him, he doesn’t deserve to be happy.
1st story is bs. Especially the deathbed sermon. 😂
calm down edge lord
Yta op is soo heartless he could forgive them 😢😢😢😢😢😢
Nah. OP is completely justified
If someone betray me in the worst way possible they don't deserve forgiveness It deserve karma
lmao kiddo quit supporting cheaters
Spunds like you want your significant other to cheat on you with your family too
Brother got karma
3rd story…girl wtf?
Story 1) OP has just insulted every single female of the country by calling us all 'trifling would be cheaters. " F8 him. Had he said that HIS wife cheated with scum brother, that would be one thing, and I would have sympathy for the AH. but not with that blanket INSULT. The AH brother was a scumbag incel who got lucky.
story 3) Um OP, you are NOT ready to be in another relationship. Full stop. Personally, I don't think that the BF should put himself into a world of hurt with someone ( OP ) who cannot see BF for ghost of dead husband. OP The BF is TIRED of having to compete with a dead guy because the BF knows he will NEVER win that competition. ( Sort of how siblings of a dead child whose AH parents never stop putting the dead child as the MOST perfect, most best child of all time. and forget the living children's feelings and then get all pikachu face with the surviving kids finally say " ENOUGH and go LC/ NC with the AH parents.
@@marystarr3025 everyone in his life including his own mother contributed to his views, including his wife outright stating his 'insult' to be a fact of life. He's clearly a product of his environment and needs support from people who won't reinforce shitty views.
@@MacerXGP At this point he is attracted to people like his ex and his mother AND his brother. I can guarantee you that if a very "upstanding", non-cheating woman went out with him he would find something unattractive with her, saying the chemistry isn't there, and then proceed to hook up with another version of his ex.
@@shells500tutubo Obviously he'd need therapy before he got in another relationship.