Limmy's Improv Stories: Glasgow Uni Student on Work Experience at the Barras

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  • @adudefromtheukvideos
    @adudefromtheukvideos 6 лет назад +1979

    Hey Limmy - I’m just 3 months into a 600 year prison sentence for the cannibalistic murder of 87 women and children, so as you can imagine I’m a bit down in the dumps - these videos are a real treat, helping me forget my troubles. Thanks and all the best x

    • @Scott_Raynor
      @Scott_Raynor 6 лет назад +386

      stay strong mate you'll be out soon

    • @quantumblurrr
      @quantumblurrr 6 лет назад +186

      Stay true to yourself ignore the haters they’re just jealous x

    • @robertmartin4555
      @robertmartin4555 6 лет назад +86

      You'll pull through, I'm sure it was all just a misunderstanding

    • @chrisscott7990
      @chrisscott7990 6 лет назад +47

      Hopefully an endorsement from limmy will show people our life choices aren't something to be ashamed of.

    • @urgumskurgum7570
      @urgumskurgum7570 6 лет назад +30

      Do you know where i can get some steak ?

  • @mt2oo8
    @mt2oo8 5 лет назад +264

    Unreal how invested I was in this story. Just zonked out picturing it aw out

  • @HistoryMush
    @HistoryMush 2 месяца назад +4

    5 years later and I’ve suddenly remembered fucking dying at this and the same has happened again, Limmys best work imo

  • @BIGJAMES026
    @BIGJAMES026 4 года назад +185

    My name is Jamesy Johnstone and I absolutely shat myself when you said my name staring into the depths of my soul

    • @scumbad7953
      @scumbad7953 4 года назад +26

      But you look like a Peter.

  • @KirbyMario12345_939
    @KirbyMario12345_939 6 лет назад +405

    That intimidating angry guy voice is comedy gold.

    • @Sadpanda82
      @Sadpanda82 4 года назад +1

      Aye, that's pretty standard for Scots.

    • @urthofthenewsun8465
      @urthofthenewsun8465 4 года назад +23

      I love how he whisper shouts because his wean and the missus are probably asleep

    • @Elcore
      @Elcore Год назад

      Laugh a minute when yer on the receiving end ay it selling steaks in the Barras.

  • @number1spritefan
    @number1spritefan 4 года назад +158

    asmr roleplay: you’re getting strangled for using the word “sate” in the barras

    • @Jamie-yr9be
      @Jamie-yr9be 8 месяцев назад +1

      That was my favourite part, it reminded me of Ivor Cutler's "The Shapely Balloon" when the shopkeeper goes ballistic after hearing the word "assuage"

  • @Jonathan-pg2hd
    @Jonathan-pg2hd 4 года назад +116

    “Jenksy was right about you lot man” - barras salesmen

  • @pitchwife7573
    @pitchwife7573 6 лет назад +341

    pissing myself why does it always end up so violent

  • @sleepcyclesgaming
    @sleepcyclesgaming 5 лет назад +206

    used to buy games in the barras from a guy. he'd walkie talkie a lad and he'd appear with CDs for the ps1. great times.

    • @avlpe7662
      @avlpe7662 5 лет назад +9

      What about Amiga disks before that, did you ever get them there..!??

    • @aluskn
      @aluskn 3 года назад +11

      @@avlpe7662 Not in the Barras, I'm from Manchester, but this brings back memories of me as a 13 year old travelling 30 minutes on a bus to Cheetham Hill to meet up with an older lad, hand over a fiver and get passed a brown shipping envelope full of 3.5" disks loaded with ST and Amiga Warez compilations from groups like Automation and Fairlight, good times :)

  • @Darthox200
    @Darthox200 4 года назад +263

    “We’re corrupt as fuck”
    This is the best sentence I’ve heard a person say

    • @G2020-
      @G2020- 3 года назад +9

      You need to get out more then, Craig.

    • @kirstymcintee8162
      @kirstymcintee8162 3 года назад +2

      I kno man hehe

    • @pimposki6232
      @pimposki6232 3 года назад +2

      @@kirstymcintee8162 "hehe" is the best possible spelling for this
      "hehe im corrupt as fuck man hehehehe"

  • @Peter-k2j
    @Peter-k2j 5 лет назад +219

    "great on a plate" you just can't teach that

  • @zanaris-xu5fr
    @zanaris-xu5fr 3 года назад +34

    "I CANT BREATHE!!!!"
    [Terrifying Presence] "coz im fucking killing ye."

  • @PeroxideQueenie
    @PeroxideQueenie 6 лет назад +218

    Think this is my favourite one, I like an uplifting story.

  • @WritingOnGames
    @WritingOnGames 6 лет назад +337

    Was worried Craig wouldn't be involved for a minute there.

  • @jackmiller1324
    @jackmiller1324 6 лет назад +162

    These emotions feel too real. Feel like this is some life experience comming out here

    • @scottinbristol
      @scottinbristol 5 лет назад +24

      There's personal tragedy in all good comedy

    • @kdmedia1534
      @kdmedia1534 3 года назад +3

      Nah Limmy’s just that good.

  • @captainbeachboy3413
    @captainbeachboy3413 6 лет назад +155

    even the polis dinnae like a grass

  • @newdawnfades5725
    @newdawnfades5725 4 года назад +70

    idk why but the thought of elon musk travelling all the way to Glasgow just to hear Craig speak has me in hysterics

  • @roisinmc7442
    @roisinmc7442 3 года назад +33

    I always remember when I was in first year in Glasgow Uni, just arrived from Northern Ireland and someone told me to go to the barras one weekend. There was a jakey guy trying to sell 1 shoe and a wee van selling "sea food" that smelt really off and was stinking the whole place out. Was a baptism of fire. Bought a load of pirate cds, happy days 🤣

  • @baisteescruncher
    @baisteescruncher 6 лет назад +508

    So weird but me and my wife were shagging there with our usual RUclips playlist of shagging tunes and this video randomly came on the sequence. Even weirder we both just ploughed on. I was watching this whilst rattling her up the Miller and Carter (I.e Farter) and we were both just laughing away. Thanks

    • @rutter89
      @rutter89 5 лет назад +28

      This comment man 😂

    • @Etcher
      @Etcher 5 лет назад +2

      This comment is better than the video!

    • @cartmanofsp
      @cartmanofsp 5 лет назад

      Hahahahaha

    • @bajsbrev4651
      @bajsbrev4651 5 лет назад +7

      Is it the playlist "tunes for when burst"? Those are some BANGING 80s tune m8.

    • @jamamafegan4382
      @jamamafegan4382 5 лет назад

      Hahahahahahaha

  • @SandySkinner29
    @SandySkinner29 6 лет назад +186

    Limmy nails these stereotypes to a tee. Craig then drops out after spending too much time at underground art school parties drinking hooch, gets a job at the politics bar and evolves into Malcolm Malcolm by his 30s.

  • @FunnyAngeli
    @FunnyAngeli 3 года назад +47

    i like to hold my breath everytime the kid gets choked out to really immerse myself in the story cheers !

  • @Brickkzz
    @Brickkzz 6 лет назад +88

    Top ASMR channel

  • @scott_young
    @scott_young 6 лет назад +314

    Why didn’t The Barra’s Human Resources Department get involved in this managerial harassment?

    • @Etcher
      @Etcher 5 лет назад +29

      That's what I was wondering. Surely there is strict procedural protocol to handle this kind of situation in the Barras.

    • @scottinbristol
      @scottinbristol 5 лет назад +58

      @@Etcher There is, a fuckin chokin'

    • @jjammmees
      @jjammmees 3 года назад +5

      because they’re corrupt as fuck

    • @craigfromscotland5272
      @craigfromscotland5272 3 года назад +1

      @@Etcher plot twist: they are the HR department tae 😂

    • @alibrown6268
      @alibrown6268 2 года назад

      🤣🤣🤣

  • @Uppers101
    @Uppers101 6 лет назад +18

    Limmy, this is your finest work to date. Amazing.

  • @scrimmybingus4871
    @scrimmybingus4871 3 года назад +10

    Skyrim court wizard: "I'm sendin' yu t' the barras"

  • @MarqueeDeSade
    @MarqueeDeSade 6 лет назад +108

    "Your appetite it will sate"

  • @BeatPoet67
    @BeatPoet67 4 года назад +37

    "the shops look shite..." Tears.

  • @hauntedgamingpc
    @hauntedgamingpc 2 года назад +13

    this and parasite 2019 are constantly fighting for dominance over who is the better classism commentary in my head

  • @reidreid2280
    @reidreid2280 5 лет назад +44

    "you're jenks now" that was so wholesome

  • @philipe1502
    @philipe1502 5 лет назад +12

    the void noise in these videos are really the cherry on top

  • @christywhiteman4249
    @christywhiteman4249 6 лет назад +15

    So happy you posted some again. Really helps when my life is in the toilet. Appreciate you Limmy.

  • @Hutchie2112
    @Hutchie2112 5 лет назад +26

    Spot on with that vinegar and sickly sweet smell description, it cracked me up as I instantly remembered it, and flashbacked to digging about for cheap singles (records!) on a sunday. I wonder what that smell was, but I dareny think about it too much.

    • @MrOllivie
      @MrOllivie 4 года назад +9

      It's the brewery man, the brewery mixed with the old river industry. The combination smells toxic

  • @bennyblanco9602
    @bennyblanco9602 6 лет назад +212

    16 glasgow uni students disliked this

    • @agsrd4496
      @agsrd4496 4 года назад +3

      Did they aye

    • @zinodali1334
      @zinodali1334 4 года назад +2

      You a long way from the Bronx benny

  • @sohaibnk
    @sohaibnk 5 лет назад +15

    I lost it at the bit where the cops go ''we're corrupt as fuck here mate...'' hahaha

  • @tommaddi
    @tommaddi 3 года назад +17

    This is Limmy's crowning achievement.

  • @brooscaredya
    @brooscaredya 5 лет назад +94

    This happens to me everytime i go to the barras.

    • @agsrd4496
      @agsrd4496 4 года назад +4

      Diz it aye

    • @brooscaredya
      @brooscaredya 4 года назад +3

      @@agsrd4496 no I was lyin

    • @agsrd4496
      @agsrd4496 4 года назад +7

      @@brooscaredya
      Wir ye aye

  • @Soki7000
    @Soki7000 6 лет назад +71

    Started laughing just at the title.

  • @ajsctech8249
    @ajsctech8249 3 года назад +10

    "The shops look shite". The best line in this story

  • @pwdplastering2120
    @pwdplastering2120 6 лет назад +30

    That Mr Jenks has worked everywhere btw (also in the Reunion Improv), gotta love a recurring character Limmy #doubleplusgood

  • @pootpoot13
    @pootpoot13 2 года назад +5

    This is tremendous. I genuinely haven't laughed so much at a comedian for years.

  • @adam-wq9ew
    @adam-wq9ew 6 лет назад +39

    this is the most jarring ASMR video i’ve seen

  • @mrtandemslidessbtt
    @mrtandemslidessbtt 5 лет назад +37

    You know you’re Scottish when the title alone makes you laugh 😂😂

  • @MarcusMandible
    @MarcusMandible 6 лет назад +67

    "Always felt that I look like a Peter"

  • @ultimok
    @ultimok 6 лет назад +52

    Hey!! Stop that...or I'll be telling Twitter. 🤣🤣

  • @ClaireyG100
    @ClaireyG100 5 лет назад +31

    As soon you hear “let the story commence” then you know you’re in for a ride 😂

  • @jambutty2218
    @jambutty2218 3 года назад +7

    This is the third time I’ve listened to this story an it gets better every time.

  • @spaceship_00
    @spaceship_00 6 лет назад +6

    Limmy the Story Genius, always a joy too watch dude....

  • @frostieuk3064
    @frostieuk3064 3 года назад +2

    I cannot believe this free to watch, it is AMAZING, PURE GLESGA xxx

  • @AlexnicholasBlakely
    @AlexnicholasBlakely 4 года назад +135

    Would be incredible if someone animated these haha

  • @nickriches4641
    @nickriches4641 5 лет назад +5

    Best improv story you've ever done

  • @NekitGallus
    @NekitGallus 7 месяцев назад

    This story is a strong lesson in humility, flexibility, and the real challenges of business. It shows that true business skill isn't just about book knowledge or big ideas, but about understanding and handling different situations, dealing with tough people, and making the best of hard times.
    Craig's story is a clear reminder of the difference between school learning and real-world application. It emphasizes the need for adaptability, hands-on experience, and the ability to navigate various and tough environments in business.The hard lessons Craig learns at the Barrows could be very valuable in his future, making him a more complete and resilient person.

  • @kriswingo5905
    @kriswingo5905 3 года назад +14

    For about 10 minutes, I thought he was talking about selling STICKS. Imagining the uni student with a pile of twigs he's gotta sell.

    • @amp4105
      @amp4105 2 года назад

      @Marty McK most def

  • @bloodhound9638
    @bloodhound9638 3 года назад +4

    This is my current favorite story, i go through stages where im addicted to the one story, keep the laughs coming in this fucked up world, Legend

    • @peterbett3076
      @peterbett3076 2 года назад

      Why is it one of your favourites? My favourites if I had to choose are ‘dodgy cookie’ and ‘facebook friend only, doesn’t really like him’, although there’s so many others which are also genius, too many to mention.
      I think this one, which you’d expect from the title to be perfect class dynamics material for Limmy, loses its way and gets bogged down in the social politics. In my view he falls into this trap too often, even now as a more accomplished story teller. Most often, but not always, with the independence/scottish vs english source material.

    • @jackglossop4859
      @jackglossop4859 Год назад +1

      I’ve watched every improv story he’s done but I return to this one for the full 25 minutes every now and then. It’s pure joy.

  • @sevendaughters
    @sevendaughters Год назад +2

    I'm a lecturer and I got the job by becoming rich and then losing it all. Now my life is full of Craigs.

  • @cartmanofsp
    @cartmanofsp 4 года назад +3

    Back for my weekly viewing of this masterpiece

  • @intello8953
    @intello8953 2 года назад +3

    Still one of my fav Limmy improve stories

  • @MIKE-TYTHON
    @MIKE-TYTHON 2 года назад +2

    17:00 this is just so good it’s honestly wasted on a random improv vid on RUclips. 😂

  • @riceboybebop7018
    @riceboybebop7018 3 года назад +6

    Mary didnt know John's name for the 10 years they were together until they both met Craig

  • @craynosis
    @craynosis 6 лет назад +62

    I love goin tae the barras

  • @Bears84
    @Bears84 5 месяцев назад +1

    "I can't breathe"...
    "Because am killin ye".

  • @Cairo_666
    @Cairo_666 3 года назад +5

    This should really be a movie.

  • @LEMCproductions
    @LEMCproductions 3 года назад +5

    the glasgow uni accent gets me everytime

  • @SociologistEugenFitzherbert
    @SociologistEugenFitzherbert 4 года назад +4

    this is my favorite video on youtube

  • @alanreid3175
    @alanreid3175 6 лет назад +33

    A steak that tastes great on a plate mate 😂

  • @nolikeygsomnipresence270
    @nolikeygsomnipresence270 4 месяца назад

    Limmy, this is glorious. Thank you.

  • @tomjones6347
    @tomjones6347 2 года назад +1

    I've been here a few times... This is the best improv.

  • @scottcrawford8755
    @scottcrawford8755 2 года назад +4

    "am no oan the internet a don't gee a fuck" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @klawpse
    @klawpse 4 года назад +24

    I watch this every night it's a perfect bedtime story for adults.

  • @SomethingVeryGeneric
    @SomethingVeryGeneric 5 лет назад +6

    After that story, I feel as though we are all Jenks now

  • @BennTheGamer
    @BennTheGamer 5 лет назад +9

    Didnt know Limmy was playing Begbie in Trainspotting 3 following the cancellation of Robert Carlyle

  • @tyredmechanic290
    @tyredmechanic290 3 года назад +8

    I want a spin-off story about Jamesie Johnston

  • @joshdr45
    @joshdr45 6 лет назад +41

    Benny Harvey rip

  • @roo407
    @roo407 4 года назад +3

    24:51 is that wee look that gets me man

  • @potatoefacedfox
    @potatoefacedfox 3 года назад +4

    you know that cliché where the old fart is too out of it to realise he's reciting the plot of a tv show he saw?

  • @entropybear5847
    @entropybear5847 7 месяцев назад +1

    "THREE FOR A POON! THREE FOR A POON-AH!"

  • @iangpark
    @iangpark 3 года назад +4

    that ending was fit for a black mirror episode

  • @aiden2083
    @aiden2083 2 года назад +7

    Love me some hand fed corn fed Argentinian kobe steaks from Japan

  • @ingylu
    @ingylu 5 лет назад +3

    i can't stop staring at that flick of hair on limmy's crown

  • @elizabethkierere5806
    @elizabethkierere5806 4 года назад +3

    I don't care what anyone says, I'm attending this man's streams.

  • @mankyscotchgit4986
    @mankyscotchgit4986 5 лет назад +10

    'Mary, do people know what 'rate' means?'

  • @ЮлияСуходоева-л6о
    @ЮлияСуходоева-л6о 5 лет назад +1

    The best story I've heard!

  • @conor1814
    @conor1814 6 лет назад +9

    The barras guy is Gary Barton aka mr Glasgow on RUclips

  • @emlyndewar
    @emlyndewar 4 года назад +1

    The is the most inspirational story I've ever heard.

  • @teejaymack5839
    @teejaymack5839 6 лет назад +3

    Super enjoyed that just waiting on the first bus on shift to arrive so I can go busking maybe a story about buskers would be cool

  • @MIKE-TYTHON
    @MIKE-TYTHON 2 года назад +1

    What a masterpiece of performance art this is.

  • @Sun-Eater616
    @Sun-Eater616 6 лет назад +158

    This is very problematic

    • @Etcher
      @Etcher 5 лет назад +11

      Only if you're Craig

    • @88omair
      @88omair 5 лет назад +20

      What's the ploblem?

  • @MIKE-TYTHON
    @MIKE-TYTHON 2 года назад +1

    16:06 😂 this guys got it all. Honestly though Limmy your just a lovely man. Funny as fuck n all.

  • @jakeescott
    @jakeescott 2 года назад +2

    Might be the best one, certainly my favourite from the old fella.

  • @donaldbrechin8170
    @donaldbrechin8170 6 лет назад +11

    23:20 . burst into laughter

  • @Scott_Raynor
    @Scott_Raynor 6 лет назад +6

    Great story. Shocking ending.

  • @ASMRMuzz
    @ASMRMuzz 6 лет назад +166

    Fkn Craig man, ah hate that khunt.

  • @SirJaceMan93
    @SirJaceMan93 3 года назад +1

    This is the funniest thing on youtube no exceptions

  • @jonescrusher1
    @jonescrusher1 4 года назад +8

    I want more Jamesy Johnston.

  • @fancypants1
    @fancypants1 4 года назад +1

    This is your finest story

  • @brynbowler9963
    @brynbowler9963 2 года назад +1

    17:20 creasing at johns name reveal

  • @Scott_Raynor
    @Scott_Raynor 6 лет назад +7

    15:05 not one not two not three not four

  • @jxp
    @jxp 3 года назад +2

    The entire plot of Line of Duty: 12:19

  • @theziggyh
    @theziggyh 5 лет назад +15

    “I’ll ram ma fookin steak thru yar hart”

  • @LilyKittyCatto
    @LilyKittyCatto Год назад +1

    trumps heed getting kicked in was the best bit

    • @amp4105
      @amp4105 6 месяцев назад

      😭

    • @Bears84
      @Bears84 5 месяцев назад

      Of course...

  • @fionaflorissax
    @fionaflorissax 6 лет назад +7

    Fav incarnation of craig