Hey, guys! Our first episode, and we're hella nervous to put ourselves out like this, but we feel it's something we need to do to give back to the DID community. Feel free to suggest topics you'd like to see us cover!
Would you’re wife ever come on your channel? I think it would be really helpful if maybe we could hear what a relationship is like for the partner of a DID system and stuff....
@@Hopeandpeaceinjesus While it would be of benefit, when we started the channel we laid down ground rules, one of which was that she would not appear on camera. As she is an educator, there are privacy concerns to be considered. Plus... she's camera shy, so... afraid not (at least at this point).
I'm so happy some older-bodied systems and male-bodied systems are starting to talk about their DID! It is uncommon that I see these and it's important to talk about that both male and female bodies can have DID. We have a friend with DID who is male-bodied (but young) and their host is in a lot of denial because their father and friends discredited their trauma saying "You had s*x with a hot older woman, why wouldn't you want it?" (which is an absolutely vile thing to say). Best of luck with your RUclips channel, can't wait to see more! Also, do you guys have Instagram? If you guys have it we will gladly follow you there (our Instagram account is kalopsia.sys). -Max (protector)
Thank you, Max. You might want to point your male bodied friend towards our video "Boys Cry Too: DID and Male Childhood Sexual Abuse". We cover that EXACT issue in the video- we call it the Myth of the 'Lucky Boy'. That's only one of several things we cover in the video, and it is very frank and very real. There's a reason we have trigger warnings all over the place on it. But alot of male body systems and female body systems with male alters have found that it speaks to them and helped them feel less alone. So... maybe view it first before sending on? We'll leave that to you. We don't have Instagram yet, we're playing catch up with the social media aspect with the help of our daughters, so soon! We'll be sure to post social links in the description. Thank you again, and welcome! 💕💪👥
@@TheInfinitySystem Sorry for late reply! And yes we did point him towards that video and it seemed like it helped him a little, so thank you so much for creating that video.
You have an extremely soothing voice. I do not have a male body but enjoy watching anyway, and feel that you have a lot to contribute to the community because of your differences to what I feel we usually see - which is young female bodies (like myself). Even though it doesn't correlate to me directly I really really appreciate you filling that gap in representation. I think it's really neat that you finally get to learn this thing about yourself after all these years and seem to be handling it in a very healthy, compassionate and productive way.
Haven't even finished the video and your channel is getting my approval to send to my husband w/DID. He's 35, and most of the channels on DID are done by women or younger people. DID has always been a part of our relationship, so he's not newly DXed. But having a male perspective is great. Keep up the good work.
It's really nice to see the DID experiences of people of more ages and genders. Especially since society tends to listen to older men and take them more seriously - maybe you'll get through to a lot of people who would otherwise have written this disorder off as "female hysteria". 🙄
Thank you. And agreed, it's essentially sexist and ageist; but if we can work that 'aura of wisdom' or whatever nonsense to our advantage in order to spread awareness/acceptance of DID and dissociative conditions? To hopefully let folks take it more seriously and cut through all the BS around it now? Then we can live with that. 😜 Thanks again for your kind words, Abigail. Welcome! 💕💪👥 (Loved, Strong, Not Alone)
Your honesty is evident. I appreciate your maturity and thoughtfulness here. I have an academic interest in DID and I look forward to watching you. Thanks for your candor. Subbed.
Thanks so much for being willing to go into more of the awful stuff with DID. We've been really bothered with how sanitized a lot of DID channels feel and it's been even reinforcing some shame. I don't know if you're interested in more resources but i want to recommend the system speak podcast. They are also an older body system (although female) and they are so very honest and raw and informative in their podcast!
@@TheInfinitySystem also could u make the intro sounds more quiet? It's disproportionately loud in comparison to the rest of the videos. And it's super startling which gives us a lot of anxiety 🙈
Thank you for this! I am 45 and newly diagnosed and feel so confused. Most days I don’t feel like I even know who I am anymore. I lose time and I find stuff and then there’s the experiences of being there but can’t control what I do and say etc. the last two days I feel like the two ‘hosts’ are now both gone and I’m here so who the f am I?! I do feel alone and completely confused about who I am. Everyone else ‘alters’ mostly know who they are with all their names, likes, different music, perfume etc. it’s full on! But yeh I seem to be here now coS everyone else is upset and I just don’t know who i am. I’ll look through more of your videos thanks so much for sharing your experience. It’s weird finding this out at 45yrs old.
Thanks, willsmom93! We've actually had professional voice over training and have long been active in music, and vocals. We've even done a stint as an internet DJ. Thanks for the compliment and thanks for watching and subscribing! If you have any thoughts, questions or anything in particular you would like us to cover, please let us know!
Heya! I happened upon your channel while researching DID (I am a psychology major and plan on focusing on DID). You are all really brave to post something so personal and close, and I wish you and the entire system the best!!
So cool to see more representation in the DID community. This was a great video and I'm so looking forward to seeing your perspective and hearing you! Stay safe and nice to meet you all!
Thank you, and welcome! Please be aware that some of our content can be heavy. Those episodes are marked with Trigger Warnings, and we do not use them lightly. Should you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to let us know! 💕💪👥 (Loved, Strong, Not Alone)
@@TheInfinitySystem thank you for the reply and the TW! So thoughtful of you to reach out like that! One of the things that drew me to your channel was your candid talks. I hope you're staying safe and well in there trying times!
Howdy! I'm new here. I'm not a system, there's just me here, but I am someone who's very interested in psychology, and I can tell that this is a very hard story for you to tell. It's super brave of you, though. Just so you know, I'm here with you all the way. Know that whatever any of you might feel is completely valid. Many big hugs to all of you.
Definitely agree that it would be good to have more talk about some more difficult stuff, I think there's becoming more content like that (e.g. talking about factitious DID) but it's obviously hard to get into details of certain things and it has to be handled really carefully. And absolutely great that you're finally diagnosed - I've recently been diagnosed with BPD and ADHD after 6/7 years of it being missed and it's frustrating to know it's gone on so long undiagnosed but also feels wonderful now I know!. Really glad you're coming on youtube to share your story, particularly being older than most DID youtubers and a guy. Big respect, hope to learn more about you guys moving forward! The Entropy system are fab!! I'd also recommend multiplicity and me too if you don't know them :)
Thank you! We'll take a look at them, we're still kind of playing catch up with the various systems on YT. We found Entropy System early on and they just 'clicked' with us. Glad to take a look at other channels! Thanks for watching and commenting. Means alot. 🙂
The Infinity System I love the entropy system they’re such amazing people!! They give such great info and are really articulate and lovely. Would deffo recommend multiplicity and me, and dissociadid;)
I’m only two minutes in and am already struck by the similarities in your experience to my own: the sleep paralysis, sense of intruder, undefined dread of holidays. I was clinically diagnosed with DID just two years ago in my mid-40’s. I never suspected I had DID before that. I will finish watching and subscribe, but I felt compelled to say something before continuing. Thank you for finding the courage to tell your story!
Thanks, Nicole S! We were DX just over a year ago, and the body is 48... so yeah, it has been a challenge. Definitely turns your reality upside down, inside out and every which way. Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment- if there is anything you'd like to see covered, or questions, let us know!
It is incredibly interesting and almost refreshing to see a male bodied system, particularly an older male bodies system. Most systems online are in younger, female bodies. These systems and their channels and education are insanely helpful and wonderful, but this diversity is so, so important and valuable. as a recently discovered system, thank you so much for this.
Thank you for your kind words. We wish you luck on your journey, it's a real rollercoaster ride. Please be aware that we do cover heavy topics on the channel, so take those episodes marked with Trigger Warnings seriously. Again, thank you and welcome! 💕💪👥
And I’m looking forward to your deeper, darker videos. I find some of the younger systems on YT lovely and informative but a bit light on in regards to the nitty gritty hard stuff
Hey! Good to see some more GenX people about! Yeah, we noticed there wasn't alot of representation for us 'older' systems, so we figured we'd help to fill the gap. Glad to have you!
We are super excited to see your content. It is very brave of your system to come forward. I can't imagine what it was like to be diagnosed later in your life but I am happy to know you are now working collaboratively! - Veekee, Forest System
Thank you for making this video. I just got diagnosed two and I have been diagnosed before with the same disorders you had. I’m questioning everything but I’m glad I’m not alone
Most welcome, and welcome! It's a rough ride and no, you're not alone. Again, welcome to the channel- as you poke about keep in mind that our programming is a little different in that we give each alter a space to do their thing, so we have serious episodes dealing with the nuts and bolts of trauma and DID (take our Trigger Warnings **TW**) seriously, we deal with very heavy subjects and we don't place them lightly. We have Rosemarie, who does a cooking show, and Percival does a series we call "Little Stories" where he reads stories to the Littles. Think Mr. Rodgers for DID Littles. We have the episodes on playlist, so be sure to poke around and ask any questions, make comments and explore the content. Hope to see you around the channel! 💕💪👥
Thank you for sharing your story, Chris! You remind me so much of a positive father figure I had in my life during my late teen years and early twenties. I know its a tough subject, but I'm quite looking forward to the episodes where we dive into the concept of trauma - I've learned in the past year that what I previously wrote off as just "a bad couple of teen years" has manifested in my brain as trauma, and I've been working through it steadily and tirelessly for the past year with the help of medication, a very supportive partner, and anything I can find to supplement my knowledge of trauma and how it affects the brain and one's coping mechanisms going forward. While I don't have DID myself, I feel much more connected, better informed, and safe when interacting with the DID community, and I just want to say thank you and the rest of Infinity for using your voice(s) to help all of us feel safe and less alone. :)
Thank you, LivingAeries. If you want to dive into those trauma addressing episodes, then "Boys Cry Too" is where we start. It's a heavy episode, so don't take the trigger warnings lightly. We're glad you feel less alone- that's the worst feeling, especially for trauma victims. We're glad to have you! 💕
Hey there! I'm a new subscriber! I want to say thank you for being brave enough to put your story out there! I'm a psychology major and for the past few months became very interested in broadening my knowledge about the disorder. I'm so glad to see that there are more and more channels sharing their knowledge and perspective on D.I.D, especially since there aren't many men who share their stories. I'll be looking out for your videos, and I know you said you wanted to share more about trauma, but please don't do it if there is a chance that it could put you in a bad place mentally. Even if you don't realise it now, it may be very triggering when you talk about it and can put you down a bad road, and we want you to be safe. We don't need to hear your personal story, that's private in my opinion, but maybe more on how you yourself and therapy are helping you cope with it. See you in the next video!
Thanks for sharing your experiences, I really appreciate hearing the perspectives of many different systems, it broadens my understanding of DID and related topics. I found this easy to understand, and you seem quite genuine, well done and keep it up 🙂
I just came across your channel and I really appreciate your perspective. The way you communicate resonates with me! Thank you for sharing and giving back.
Okay, We finally found you - wait, were we looking? Yeah, we were. [ can you say switchy ]. So we found you through YT Recommended Videos, specifically "Good-bye Entropy System Thank you". WOW, So great to finally find you. Wait we said that, so yeah, we were EXACTLY the same age when "The Emergence" [ is that a title or something? ] occurred. We started with 9 alters. It is SOOOO AWESOME that you are here with us because there is a different level of commendatory that with the younger systems. We are glad that you are getting views and subscribers. So awesome that YOU ARE SO BRAVE!! 14:20 "... [ littles ] take over the wheel [ while driving ] which is still really kind of terrifies us.", yeah, we had this happen as we were driving on an open freeway at 70 mph and our 5 y/o fronted. Everything ended up being okay. Perhaps that would be a good video to make. We think that you may find "Host, Core, and Original" from The Entropy System to be of interest, [ ruclips.net/video/sS50HK2zVWk/видео.html ].
Welcome, 5 of 9! Yeesh... a 5 y/o behind the wheel at 70mph! Wow, so glad that everything was okay. We're terrified of that happening, so at least we're not the only ones! We're familiar with ES Host/Core/Original video, but in our case we're still just not certain yet. Regardless, great to have you here! 💕💪👥
@@TheInfinitySystem Awww, thank you for your reply. So yeah, we are not brave enough for camera, but we think that with time we can also help singlets [ those that do not have D.I.D. { or alters via O.S.D.D. } ] to 'see' or sense the feelings that 'we' may experience with this, um, condition. Just re-read our comment and saw "there is a different level of commendatory that with the younger systems". Instead of commendatory, we wanted to convey 'commeraderie' [ a fellowship amoungst a group ].
I'm just want to say that i admire you because you are just 5 months old on RUclips and you have a lot of videos about DID and thats incredible, Hope you all are doing fine and have a lovely Life, stay safe. (I'm not a english speaker, so i'm sorry if you can't understendme, i'm trying my best ;P)
In this video you alluded to prejudices you personally held, I would be very interested in seeing a video explicitly discussing some of this and how your diagnosis changed your views. I realise this might be a personal thing however I am interested in how things changed for you and how you began to deal with this.
Excellent question/request. Mostly, it doesn't revolve around sexual preference or gender issues, although later we had to unlearn the general public and the personal perceptions of homosexuality we were taught by the media and our abuser(s). Ironically, our main abuser was very (almost rabidly) homophobic (yet this didn't stop him from raping us regularly... wtf?) and as a result of the constant abuse and conditioning, we developed a rather skewed perspective(s) on ALL sexuality, hetero included. Despite all this, we were always accepting (if not terribly open minded at times) of alternate lifestyles. One of our uncles (the only one who never abused us) suffered from severe CPTSD from service as an intelligence officer in 'Nam. He was openly gay during the late 70's and 80's and very much a part of the movement at that time- ironically he was the only man in the family we trusted (other than our grandfather, but that's maternal family). So he was able to show us that no, not every man and especially gay men weren't into having sex with little boys. That they were(are) warm, caring people and more to be trusted than the straight 'man' we were supposed to emulate... our abuser(s). Over the course of time and especially since being diagnosed, we've been able to shed much of what got stuffed into our mind(s) regarding sex and sexuality by our abusers (leaving out the pressure of the societal prejudices that were (fortunately) starting to change during the 70's and 80's). Now, of course, we're digging into all that again with the new lens of DID and the trauma we endured and we're just absolutely appalled by how hypocritical and how deep the conditioning/manipulation went. What we are really ashamed of and regret is what our attitudes towards some mental health issues were. One of our sisters has had extensive mental health issues (which we now know were most likely tied to the trauma that created ours...) and used it as an excuse of sorts to get away with everything WE weren't allowed; we were the 'good boy'. Needless to say, this double standard dichotomy wasn't terribly healthy, so we grew very resentful of her and her 'mental crap'. (Admittedly, being chased around the house by a butcher knife wielding sister screaming at you incoherently tends to color your perceptions) We had the unfortunate and rather simplistic view that as long as your will power or intellect was strong enough, you could control your body and mind; it didn't control you. This, needless to say... was completely and utterly WRONG. Our brain was like "I'ma let you finish but..." So mea culpa there for certain and now that we know what happened and why we are what we are, our attitudes toward her and mental health issues have changed significantly. We'll never be close (we cut off that part of the family due to extreme toxicity), but we do now have the perspective to see her and her issues in a new light. We hope that answers (some) of your questions, we'll likely do a vid talking about it all at some point. Thanks for a thought provoking question and welcome!
@@TheInfinitySystem Thank you. 🙂 And thank you for the refreshingly open and honest response, I very much admire that about your system and I know it will help in the fight against the stigma of poor mental health, DID and other neurodivergent conditions. Keep up the good work and I look forwards to the next video. 🙂
@@notthechosen1 Thank *you* for asking the 'hard questions'. We look forward to seeing you around the channel. Any other questions or suggestions, just let us know! 💕
Hey, just found your channel and I'm really looking forward to seeing your unique perspective on DID. As you've pointed out, there aren't really many older/male-bodied systems talking about their experiences, so it's cool to see you helping to address that.
No, it does not, actually. While we are OG Trek fans, and there are some comparisons, we don't have fictives. Data is more an expression of what he does than an actual name, facts vs. a name. We do cover this in our livestream if you're curious!
Hi there! I have some pet theories regarding the lack of diagnosis for older systems and systems in a Male body particularly, revolving around the way that men in our society are expected to act in general, and the way that attitude permeated into our gender rolls as a whole throughout the 2nf half of the 20th century. Do you have any thoughts on the way that the concept of "manning up" can keep mental illness under wraps, as it were? You mentioned having a lot of anger and anxiety in the beginning of your diagnosis journey. I am coming from this as a transperson having lived in both female and male spheres, and the way that the concept of masculinity functions has lead to this unrelenting and profound anger and sadness regarding our emotional response. Women seem to be allowed a far greater range of emotional intensity, and the toxic part of the equation is that men are then considered to just be angry, violent creatures with little emotional control, when 99.99999% of the time that's just a child who has been profoundly hurt now trying to functioning a great big world. I wonder, truly, how many middle-aged systems (particularly male) there are out there killing their emotions and silencing the voices with substance abuse or other dangerous behavior. Thank you for adding another cluster of voices to this conversation. - Oz
Hey, Oz! Thanks for watching and commenting. You've hit on the issue of one of our upcoming episodes- this is one of the things that we're going to be addressing. We actually made a list of topics we wanted to cover before starting the channel and this is in the top 5, so we'll definitely be covering it! 😊
Hey, Wolfi M.! That's an excellent question! For us, we had already started to 'present'. We were split very early, so we 'grew up' together and learned to kiiiinnnnd of work together by instinct? It's kind of like (for our system) working in reverse. Our system started off more or less integrated, but as time went on we began to fracture more and more as the trauma buried under the surface began to bubble up. We had no idea that other people didn't have full blown conversations and arguments with people in their heads- we thought that was just 'internal dialogue' or an 'overactive conscience'. Surprise! So since our diagnosis, we've been sorting through which voice belongs to whom, what they do, who they are... we're actually become more distinct as individuals as we progress. Think of it like those old joke snake cans, when you take off the top of a can and the snakes come springing out? Like that. 😊
LOL. Yeah, we've turned it off for filming now because that glare on the right was just way too much. But then we've also painted the room and put up more shelves since this was filmed. Oh! Does yours like refuse to screw tight enough to stay straight? Ours leans in the middle just enough to drive us nuts!
@@TheInfinitySystem I cant say that I've had an issue with leaning, but my switch is rather finicky. If I turn it all the way the light will not stay on, so I have to turn it so that it doesnt click. I really like your video, I think you do a great job of explaining things and providing definitions when necessary. I actually just did a paper for my psychology course final on D.I.D. and have been massively interested in learning more people's experiences. In my research for the paper, I found that there is very little information on male bodied systems, so your channel as well as a few others is really enlightening me. Keep up the good work. 😁👍
We have the finicky switch too! Thank you for choosing to help people and thanks for choosing to learn about DID. Systems need all the allies we can get! 💕💕💕
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
Hey, guys! Our first episode, and we're hella nervous to put ourselves out like this, but we feel it's something we need to do to give back to the DID community. Feel free to suggest topics you'd like to see us cover!
Would you’re wife ever come on your channel? I think it would be really helpful if maybe we could hear what a relationship is like for the partner of a DID system and stuff....
@@Hopeandpeaceinjesus While it would be of benefit, when we started the channel we laid down ground rules, one of which was that she would not appear on camera. As she is an educator, there are privacy concerns to be considered. Plus... she's camera shy, so... afraid not (at least at this point).
I'm so happy some older-bodied systems and male-bodied systems are starting to talk about their DID! It is uncommon that I see these and it's important to talk about that both male and female bodies can have DID. We have a friend with DID who is male-bodied (but young) and their host is in a lot of denial because their father and friends discredited their trauma saying "You had s*x with a hot older woman, why wouldn't you want it?" (which is an absolutely vile thing to say). Best of luck with your RUclips channel, can't wait to see more!
Also, do you guys have Instagram? If you guys have it we will gladly follow you there (our Instagram account is kalopsia.sys). -Max (protector)
Thank you, Max. You might want to point your male bodied friend towards our video "Boys Cry Too: DID and Male Childhood Sexual Abuse". We cover that EXACT issue in the video- we call it the Myth of the 'Lucky Boy'. That's only one of several things we cover in the video, and it is very frank and very real. There's a reason we have trigger warnings all over the place on it. But alot of male body systems and female body systems with male alters have found that it speaks to them and helped them feel less alone. So... maybe view it first before sending on? We'll leave that to you. We don't have Instagram yet, we're playing catch up with the social media aspect with the help of our daughters, so soon! We'll be sure to post social links in the description. Thank you again, and welcome! 💕💪👥
@@TheInfinitySystem Sorry for late reply! And yes we did point him towards that video and it seemed like it helped him a little, so thank you so much for creating that video.
@@arisu4249 Glad that it helped. Also, we are on Instagram now at infinity.system!
What a great start! I’m glad to see more men choosing to share their experiences and their knowledge of DID. ...Bootstraps, what a symbolic name!
Thanks, Teresa Henson. We'll have more soon!
You have an extremely soothing voice.
I do not have a male body but enjoy watching anyway, and feel that you have a lot to contribute to the community because of your differences to what I feel we usually see - which is young female bodies (like myself). Even though it doesn't correlate to me directly I really really appreciate you filling that gap in representation. I think it's really neat that you finally get to learn this thing about yourself after all these years and seem to be handling it in a very healthy, compassionate and productive way.
Thank you! It's been... an interesting journey thus far. If we can help someone by relating our perspective and our experiences, then it's worth it. 💕
Haven't even finished the video and your channel is getting my approval to send to my husband w/DID. He's 35, and most of the channels on DID are done by women or younger people. DID has always been a part of our relationship, so he's not newly DXed. But having a male perspective is great. Keep up the good work.
Thank you. 💕
It's really nice to see the DID experiences of people of more ages and genders. Especially since society tends to listen to older men and take them more seriously - maybe you'll get through to a lot of people who would otherwise have written this disorder off as "female hysteria". 🙄
Thank you. And agreed, it's essentially sexist and ageist; but if we can work that 'aura of wisdom' or whatever nonsense to our advantage in order to spread awareness/acceptance of DID and dissociative conditions? To hopefully let folks take it more seriously and cut through all the BS around it now? Then we can live with that. 😜 Thanks again for your kind words, Abigail. Welcome! 💕💪👥 (Loved, Strong, Not Alone)
Your honesty is evident. I appreciate your maturity and thoughtfulness here. I have an academic interest in DID and I look forward to watching you. Thanks for your candor. Subbed.
Thank you kindly. Welcome!
Thanks so much for being willing to go into more of the awful stuff with DID. We've been really bothered with how sanitized a lot of DID channels feel and it's been even reinforcing some shame.
I don't know if you're interested in more resources but i want to recommend the system speak podcast. They are also an older body system (although female) and they are so very honest and raw and informative in their podcast!
Thank you! We always appreciate resources! 😊
@@TheInfinitySystem also could u make the intro sounds more quiet? It's disproportionately loud in comparison to the rest of the videos. And it's super startling which gives us a lot of anxiety 🙈
Absolutely! We're fixing the file now and the lower volume will be on all future content. Thanks for letting us know! 💕
Dude you're so informative and just a cool person all round. Loving these videos!
Thank you!
Thank you for this! I am 45 and newly diagnosed and feel so confused. Most days I don’t feel like I even know who I am anymore. I lose time and I find stuff and then there’s the experiences of being there but can’t control what I do and say etc. the last two days I feel like the two ‘hosts’ are now both gone and I’m here so who the f am I?! I do feel alone and completely confused about who I am. Everyone else ‘alters’ mostly know who they are with all their names, likes, different music, perfume etc. it’s full on! But yeh I seem to be here now coS everyone else is upset and I just don’t know who i am. I’ll look through more of your videos thanks so much for sharing your experience. It’s weird finding this out at 45yrs old.
It's jarring, that's for sure! Thank you, and welcome! 💕
You have a wonderfully resonant speaking voice. It is a pleasure to listen to. You will be successful! #vocalmusicteacher
Thanks, willsmom93! We've actually had professional voice over training and have long been active in music, and vocals. We've even done a stint as an internet DJ. Thanks for the compliment and thanks for watching and subscribing! If you have any thoughts, questions or anything in particular you would like us to cover, please let us know!
Heya! I happened upon your channel while researching DID (I am a psychology major and plan on focusing on DID). You are all really brave to post something so personal and close, and I wish you and the entire system the best!!
Thank you! and double thanks for choosing to help others. We systems need all the allies we can get! 😊
So cool to see more representation in the DID community. This was a great video and I'm so looking forward to seeing your perspective and hearing you! Stay safe and nice to meet you all!
Thank you, and welcome! Please be aware that some of our content can be heavy. Those episodes are marked with Trigger Warnings, and we do not use them lightly. Should you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to let us know! 💕💪👥 (Loved, Strong, Not Alone)
@@TheInfinitySystem thank you for the reply and the TW! So thoughtful of you to reach out like that! One of the things that drew me to your channel was your candid talks. I hope you're staying safe and well in there trying times!
Howdy! I'm new here. I'm not a system, there's just me here, but I am someone who's very interested in psychology, and I can tell that this is a very hard story for you to tell. It's super brave of you, though. Just so you know, I'm here with you all the way. Know that whatever any of you might feel is completely valid. Many big hugs to all of you.
Thank you and welcome! 💕💪👥
Definitely agree that it would be good to have more talk about some more difficult stuff, I think there's becoming more content like that (e.g. talking about factitious DID) but it's obviously hard to get into details of certain things and it has to be handled really carefully. And absolutely great that you're finally diagnosed - I've recently been diagnosed with BPD and ADHD after 6/7 years of it being missed and it's frustrating to know it's gone on so long undiagnosed but also feels wonderful now I know!. Really glad you're coming on youtube to share your story, particularly being older than most DID youtubers and a guy. Big respect, hope to learn more about you guys moving forward!
The Entropy system are fab!! I'd also recommend multiplicity and me too if you don't know them :)
Thank you! We'll take a look at them, we're still kind of playing catch up with the various systems on YT. We found Entropy System early on and they just 'clicked' with us. Glad to take a look at other channels! Thanks for watching and commenting. Means alot. 🙂
The Infinity System I love the entropy system they’re such amazing people!! They give such great info and are really articulate and lovely. Would deffo recommend multiplicity and me, and dissociadid;)
I’m only two minutes in and am already struck by the similarities in your experience to my own: the sleep paralysis, sense of intruder, undefined dread of holidays. I was clinically diagnosed with DID just two years ago in my mid-40’s. I never suspected I had DID before that. I will finish watching and subscribe, but I felt compelled to say something before continuing. Thank you for finding the courage to tell your story!
Thanks, Nicole S! We were DX just over a year ago, and the body is 48... so yeah, it has been a challenge. Definitely turns your reality upside down, inside out and every which way. Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment- if there is anything you'd like to see covered, or questions, let us know!
It is incredibly interesting and almost refreshing to see a male bodied system, particularly an older male bodies system. Most systems online are in younger, female bodies. These systems and their channels and education are insanely helpful and wonderful, but this diversity is so, so important and valuable. as a recently discovered system, thank you so much for this.
Thank you for your kind words. We wish you luck on your journey, it's a real rollercoaster ride. Please be aware that we do cover heavy topics on the channel, so take those episodes marked with Trigger Warnings seriously. Again, thank you and welcome! 💕💪👥
Hi from a fellow Gen X DID! Nice to see someone over 25 🤣 I was diagnosed 20 years ago! Waaay before RUclips existed
And I’m looking forward to your deeper, darker videos. I find some of the younger systems on YT lovely and informative but a bit light on in regards to the nitty gritty hard stuff
Hey! Good to see some more GenX people about! Yeah, we noticed there wasn't alot of representation for us 'older' systems, so we figured we'd help to fill the gap. Glad to have you!
Well, start with "Boys Cry Too". That's our first nitty gritty, but be warned- the trigger warnings aren't placed lightly. 💕
We are super excited to see your content. It is very brave of your system to come forward. I can't imagine what it was like to be diagnosed later in your life but I am happy to know you are now working collaboratively! - Veekee, Forest System
Thank you! It's been an... interesting year. We'll definitely be covering it, Veekee! (Love your system name, btw!) 😍 Be well!
Thank you for making this video. I just got diagnosed two and I have been diagnosed before with the same disorders you had. I’m questioning everything but I’m glad I’m not alone
Most welcome, and welcome! It's a rough ride and no, you're not alone. Again, welcome to the channel- as you poke about keep in mind that our programming is a little different in that we give each alter a space to do their thing, so we have serious episodes dealing with the nuts and bolts of trauma and DID (take our Trigger Warnings **TW**) seriously, we deal with very heavy subjects and we don't place them lightly. We have Rosemarie, who does a cooking show, and Percival does a series we call "Little Stories" where he reads stories to the Littles. Think Mr. Rodgers for DID Littles. We have the episodes on playlist, so be sure to poke around and ask any questions, make comments and explore the content. Hope to see you around the channel! 💕💪👥
Thank you for sharing your story, Chris! You remind me so much of a positive father figure I had in my life during my late teen years and early twenties. I know its a tough subject, but I'm quite looking forward to the episodes where we dive into the concept of trauma - I've learned in the past year that what I previously wrote off as just "a bad couple of teen years" has manifested in my brain as trauma, and I've been working through it steadily and tirelessly for the past year with the help of medication, a very supportive partner, and anything I can find to supplement my knowledge of trauma and how it affects the brain and one's coping mechanisms going forward. While I don't have DID myself, I feel much more connected, better informed, and safe when interacting with the DID community, and I just want to say thank you and the rest of Infinity for using your voice(s) to help all of us feel safe and less alone. :)
Thank you, LivingAeries. If you want to dive into those trauma addressing episodes, then "Boys Cry Too" is where we start. It's a heavy episode, so don't take the trigger warnings lightly. We're glad you feel less alone- that's the worst feeling, especially for trauma victims. We're glad to have you! 💕
Hey there! I'm a new subscriber! I want to say thank you for being brave enough to put your story out there! I'm a psychology major and for the past few months became very interested in broadening my knowledge about the disorder. I'm so glad to see that there are more and more channels sharing their knowledge and perspective on D.I.D, especially since there aren't many men who share their stories. I'll be looking out for your videos, and I know you said you wanted to share more about trauma, but please don't do it if there is a chance that it could put you in a bad place mentally. Even if you don't realise it now, it may be very triggering when you talk about it and can put you down a bad road, and we want you to be safe. We don't need to hear your personal story, that's private in my opinion, but maybe more on how you yourself and therapy are helping you cope with it. See you in the next video!
Thanks for sharing your experiences, I really appreciate hearing the perspectives of many different systems, it broadens my understanding of DID and related topics. I found this easy to understand, and you seem quite genuine, well done and keep it up 🙂
I just came across your channel and I really appreciate your perspective. The way you communicate resonates with me! Thank you for sharing and giving back.
Thank you for your kind words. Welcome! 💕
Okay, We finally found you - wait, were we looking? Yeah, we were. [ can you say switchy ].
So we found you through YT Recommended Videos, specifically "Good-bye Entropy System Thank you".
WOW, So great to finally find you. Wait we said that, so yeah, we were EXACTLY the same age when "The Emergence" [ is that a title or something? ] occurred. We started with 9 alters.
It is SOOOO AWESOME that you are here with us because there is a different level of commendatory that with the younger systems. We are glad that you are getting views and subscribers. So awesome that YOU ARE SO BRAVE!!
14:20 "... [ littles ] take over the wheel [ while driving ] which is still really kind of terrifies us.", yeah, we had this happen as we were driving on an open freeway at 70 mph and our 5 y/o fronted. Everything ended up being okay. Perhaps that would be a good video to make.
We think that you may find "Host, Core, and Original" from The Entropy System to be of interest, [ ruclips.net/video/sS50HK2zVWk/видео.html ].
Welcome, 5 of 9! Yeesh... a 5 y/o behind the wheel at 70mph! Wow, so glad that everything was okay. We're terrified of that happening, so at least we're not the only ones! We're familiar with ES Host/Core/Original video, but in our case we're still just not certain yet. Regardless, great to have you here! 💕💪👥
@@TheInfinitySystem Awww, thank you for your reply. So yeah, we are not brave enough for camera, but we think that with time we can also help singlets [ those that do not have D.I.D. { or alters via O.S.D.D. } ] to 'see' or sense the feelings that 'we' may experience with this, um, condition.
Just re-read our comment and saw "there is a different level of commendatory that with the younger systems". Instead of commendatory, we wanted to convey 'commeraderie' [ a fellowship amoungst a group ].
I'm just want to say that i admire you because you are just 5 months old on RUclips and you have a lot of videos about DID and thats incredible, Hope you all are doing fine and have a lovely Life, stay safe.
(I'm not a english speaker, so i'm sorry if you can't understendme, i'm trying my best ;P)
Your English is fine, Francisca- no worries! Thank you very much, and welcome! 💕💪👥
In this video you alluded to prejudices you personally held, I would be very interested in seeing a video explicitly discussing some of this and how your diagnosis changed your views. I realise this might be a personal thing however I am interested in how things changed for you and how you began to deal with this.
Excellent question/request. Mostly, it doesn't revolve around sexual preference or gender issues, although later we had to unlearn the general public and the personal perceptions of homosexuality we were taught by the media and our abuser(s). Ironically, our main abuser was very (almost rabidly) homophobic (yet this didn't stop him from raping us regularly... wtf?) and as a result of the constant abuse and conditioning, we developed a rather skewed perspective(s) on ALL sexuality, hetero included. Despite all this, we were always accepting (if not terribly open minded at times) of alternate lifestyles. One of our uncles (the only one who never abused us) suffered from severe CPTSD from service as an intelligence officer in 'Nam. He was openly gay during the late 70's and 80's and very much a part of the movement at that time- ironically he was the only man in the family we trusted (other than our grandfather, but that's maternal family). So he was able to show us that no, not every man and especially gay men weren't into having sex with little boys. That they were(are) warm, caring people and more to be trusted than the straight 'man' we were supposed to emulate... our abuser(s). Over the course of time and especially since being diagnosed, we've been able to shed much of what got stuffed into our mind(s) regarding sex and sexuality by our abusers (leaving out the pressure of the societal prejudices that were (fortunately) starting to change during the 70's and 80's). Now, of course, we're digging into all that again with the new lens of DID and the trauma we endured and we're just absolutely appalled by how hypocritical and how deep the conditioning/manipulation went.
What we are really ashamed of and regret is what our attitudes towards some mental health issues were. One of our sisters has had extensive mental health issues (which we now know were most likely tied to the trauma that created ours...) and used it as an excuse of sorts to get away with everything WE weren't allowed; we were the 'good boy'. Needless to say, this double standard dichotomy wasn't terribly healthy, so we grew very resentful of her and her 'mental crap'. (Admittedly, being chased around the house by a butcher knife wielding sister screaming at you incoherently tends to color your perceptions) We had the unfortunate and rather simplistic view that as long as your will power or intellect was strong enough, you could control your body and mind; it didn't control you. This, needless to say... was completely and utterly WRONG. Our brain was like "I'ma let you finish but..."
So mea culpa there for certain and now that we know what happened and why we are what we are, our attitudes toward her and mental health issues have changed significantly. We'll never be close (we cut off that part of the family due to extreme toxicity), but we do now have the perspective to see her and her issues in a new light. We hope that answers (some) of your questions, we'll likely do a vid talking about it all at some point. Thanks for a thought provoking question and welcome!
@@TheInfinitySystem Thank you. 🙂 And thank you for the refreshingly open and honest response, I very much admire that about your system and I know it will help in the fight against the stigma of poor mental health, DID and other neurodivergent conditions. Keep up the good work and I look forwards to the next video. 🙂
@@notthechosen1 Thank *you* for asking the 'hard questions'. We look forward to seeing you around the channel. Any other questions or suggestions, just let us know! 💕
We have a couple of similar alters, even with the names, that's so strange!! I look forward to seeing the rest of your videos :)
Thank you, and welcome! 💕💪👥
so glad I found your channel!
Thank you and welcome!
Hey, just found your channel and I'm really looking forward to seeing your unique perspective on DID. As you've pointed out, there aren't really many older/male-bodied systems talking about their experiences, so it's cool to see you helping to address that.
Thank you! 😊
This is fantastic, thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thanks for listening! Means alot.
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you! 😊😊
Great first video! Looking forward to learning more about y'all. :)
Thank you so much!!😊
Does Data's name come from Star Trek ? If so I find it very fitting considering his role 😁
Greetings from Germany 😊
No, it does not, actually. While we are OG Trek fans, and there are some comparisons, we don't have fictives. Data is more an expression of what he does than an actual name, facts vs. a name. We do cover this in our livestream if you're curious!
Thanks for the answer 😊 still ...kudos from a fellow treckie 😁
Great video! Can't wait to see more!
Thank you!! 😍
Hi there! I have some pet theories regarding the lack of diagnosis for older systems and systems in a Male body particularly, revolving around the way that men in our society are expected to act in general, and the way that attitude permeated into our gender rolls as a whole throughout the 2nf half of the 20th century. Do you have any thoughts on the way that the concept of "manning up" can keep mental illness under wraps, as it were? You mentioned having a lot of anger and anxiety in the beginning of your diagnosis journey. I am coming from this as a transperson having lived in both female and male spheres, and the way that the concept of masculinity functions has lead to this unrelenting and profound anger and sadness regarding our emotional response. Women seem to be allowed a far greater range of emotional intensity, and the toxic part of the equation is that men are then considered to just be angry, violent creatures with little emotional control, when 99.99999% of the time that's just a child who has been profoundly hurt now trying to functioning a great big world. I wonder, truly, how many middle-aged systems (particularly male) there are out there killing their emotions and silencing the voices with substance abuse or other dangerous behavior.
Thank you for adding another cluster of voices to this conversation.
- Oz
Hey, Oz! Thanks for watching and commenting. You've hit on the issue of one of our upcoming episodes- this is one of the things that we're going to be addressing. We actually made a list of topics we wanted to cover before starting the channel and this is in the top 5, so we'll definitely be covering it! 😊
We have an alien girl who is the closest resembling to the body but she’s a bit more pale and has pointed ears
When you were diagnosed, how long did it take for your alters to present themselves to you and how did that happen?
Hey, Wolfi M.! That's an excellent question! For us, we had already started to 'present'. We were split very early, so we 'grew up' together and learned to kiiiinnnnd of work together by instinct? It's kind of like (for our system) working in reverse. Our system started off more or less integrated, but as time went on we began to fracture more and more as the trauma buried under the surface began to bubble up. We had no idea that other people didn't have full blown conversations and arguments with people in their heads- we thought that was just 'internal dialogue' or an 'overactive conscience'. Surprise! So since our diagnosis, we've been sorting through which voice belongs to whom, what they do, who they are... we're actually become more distinct as individuals as we progress. Think of it like those old joke snake cans, when you take off the top of a can and the snakes come springing out? Like that. 😊
@@TheInfinitySystem YES!!! Same!! I've never heard of someone "doing it in reverse"also!!! Ty! Please keep uploading videos!
I literally have that exact same lamp haha!
LOL. Yeah, we've turned it off for filming now because that glare on the right was just way too much. But then we've also painted the room and put up more shelves since this was filmed. Oh! Does yours like refuse to screw tight enough to stay straight? Ours leans in the middle just enough to drive us nuts!
@@TheInfinitySystem I cant say that I've had an issue with leaning, but my switch is rather finicky. If I turn it all the way the light will not stay on, so I have to turn it so that it doesnt click.
I really like your video, I think you do a great job of explaining things and providing definitions when necessary. I actually just did a paper for my psychology course final on D.I.D. and have been massively interested in learning more people's experiences. In my research for the paper, I found that there is very little information on male bodied systems, so your channel as well as a few others is really enlightening me. Keep up the good work. 😁👍
We have the finicky switch too! Thank you for choosing to help people and thanks for choosing to learn about DID. Systems need all the allies we can get! 💕💕💕