Who do you THINK you are? - Dr. Gabor Maté with Diederik Wolsak and Sat Dharam Kaur ND
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- Опубликовано: 18 фев 2016
- “Who Do You THINK You Are?” public talk in Vancouver Jan 29, 2016, with Dr. Gabor Maté, Diederik Wolsak and Sat Dharam Kaur ND. This talk was a fundraising event for Beyond Addiction: The Yogic Path to Recovery, in Vancouver. See beyondaddiction.ca
For more lectures with Dr. Gabor Maté, see drgabormate.com
For workshops with Diederik Wolsak, see choose-again.com
I've been an addict all my life, I am sixty five and just a one hour lecture from him and I am free. The man gave me validation and although I'm still an addict he told me why I am, and gave me permission to be who and what I am. God bless him.
That’s good you’ve made it to 65 as an addict. I’m 28 and feel like if I make it to 65 I’m going to be very blessed
Yes he knows what he is talking about. Addicts seldom want to face themselvves. Even those in AA won't really do a thorough 4th step. They just can't look. Too scary. They cannot accept that fear is normal and part of the human condition. When we embrace our fear and accept and examine it..it fades away. Exposed to the light of Truth fear dies.
Me too at hi masses on opiates?
Wow...holy Steve ish
It's better byhsb hiding ahind grandma's sjirts
I love Dr Mate's Voice, it's very soothing.
i do too!
i hate him [ that was a joke {a poor joke but still } ]
I like it too. I agree it's soothing. (Non constantly but often, the voice reminds me of Johnny Depp's voice).
He's so genuine. I love his transparency. It's so refreshing.
Me too- it’s like therapy and asmr!
Pls dr. Mate...dont get older....people like you need to stay immortal....love
😂😂😂
I also feel like this with Byron Katie
So much love and knowledge that we need in our world
This man is amazing! His face tells me just how much he has experienced in his life and that he is a truly rare, authentic person! I came across one of the videos of him speaking.... and I was blown away not only by his compassion, but his genuine understanding of the human spirit!
Stop being so needy, it's like your not hearing him. Health comes from within.
As someone who is in recovery, I hear constantly from newly sober people that they made the decision to stop "for their children /marriage etc.". Those are the people that I know will go back out because I was one of them. I love Diederik's honestly about his drinking. The way to maintain sobriety is to understand where the pain is coming and develop that self awareness. This is the only way to stop the reactivity that emanates from the younger self. My precious children may never understand this, but I do my best to receive their resentments, anger and sadness with genuine compassion, love and empathy.
Very true. It only works if one stops for oneself. If you stop for xyz you’re still disconnected from yourself and your pain. And what if xyz decide to leave? There goes your purpose…
Great advice!
I so appreciate Gabor's way of just being who he is, open and exposed. He is a safe person, trustworthy. He teaches humility, even though he'd be the first to say he's not humble.
He's so genuine. I love his transparency. It's so refreshing.
I agree, he’s vulnerable.
I have never heard the role of a parent described so simply or beautifully: Be so safe for them that they never have to disconnect from themself and manifest so much love for them that they never have to question that the universe is love.
Amen
Swe....we can but try to do it, we will do it better if we are connected to God Who is LOVE and the source of love. By ourself we are selfish and do it for seelf 😥💕❤️❤️🙏😍🌹
Thank you Halina
💯perfect💓
Was thinking exactly that, only that, after watching the entire video
I already know that I have to listen to this talk at least 5 times to get every bit of wisdom presented here. I feel these kind of talks are saving my life!
I'm half way through this video...., And that's Exactly how I felt!
“ We should ask, “Not why the addiction, but why the PAIN?’ “ Thank you, Dr Maté! Your explanations have help me change my life!
This is the most powerful discussion I have heard so far. I said the words, My mother and father are innocent and I love them and immediately I cried, felt dizzy, laid down, and told myself do not get up until you identify yourself with the infinite love that you are. When I stood up, still dizzy but kept walking and feel stronger, taller, and lighter then I have ever felt in my entire life. Thank you for your intelligence and sharing it with the world.
The comment “I wouldn’t have answered the question that way” resonates the same as the father saying, “You held the rake the wrong way”. And isn’t it interesting that we tend to work or have relationships with those who are similar in behavior as our parents so that we can stand up to them by challenging ourselves so that we rise above them (their issues from their parents and so on) as well as our egos/ our little, self-sabotaging selves of trauma, fear, rejections, etc. We are worth, then, every effort to be our authentic, healed selves. Thank you very much as this was EMPOWERING!!!❤️💖🧡
The earthquake happened as a young child. The AFTERSHOCKS HAPPEN AS AN ADULT.
I like this! Thanks for sharing!
Trauma is created from large and small incidents, but we feel guilty about not getting over the 'small' stuff in our pasts. People generally think of trauma as car crashes, physical attack etc, but, as Marilyn Van Debur put it so succinctly, "It's not what happened, it's how it made you feel."
I like the way Maté is sitting.
lol.. I sit like this all of the time .. I'm 53 and I just thought to myself the other day how come I never see anyone else sit like this..
Yeah the child within is showing.
I always sit like this😱
I've sat this way my whole life
I've sat like that a few times....
I love you, Gabor. You are an amazing human being.
I'm 40 min into the talk and already sooo grateful I get to hear Dr Mate. He's a blessing.
Dr. Mate. Who do you think you are.... is an awesome question. What you were describing about Pres. Trump is precisely what you were describing about yourself at the airport when you’ve lost your luggage. We all know that under anger and frustration is fear. Most of us also know that we have every actions that come out of our subconscious. That parallels what you see in our president and what you possess in the airport when your luggage is misplaced. Is it moral to demean one and not the other?
This discussion is the much needed medicine for our modern age. It reminds me of a quote I came across recently: “I am not I in myself alone, but only in the self of others.” This suggests that neither our bad or our good is entirely self made, and that in judging others we are judging ourselves. I am reminded of Christ’s words: Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.
The Myth of Normal by Gabor & his Son & the book & online course Choose Again by Diederik Wolsak are amazing Healing teachers. Also reconciliation with the inner Child by Thích Nhất Hạnh. The way out is in....
Love Dr Mate's talks..honest, compassionate,.and thought provoking.....
Such respect for both of these men. Dr. Mate walks the path. I respect that even in his 70s he still does things like Diederik Wolsak's workshop for his own healing. It takes great maturity to co-host a talk with someone you know you don't fully agree with. Excellent talk. Also, I recommend checking ou/ Diederik's story because he healed from an extraordinary traumatic early life.
Also born in 1942 in the middle of the war, in an occupied country - and it takes my whole life to learn. I see that in essence it is exactly like Gabor and Diederrik say. 🙏
One cannot hear until they are ready to hear. I appreciate this conversation and learning of Mr. Wolsak through Mate. Everyone is different and that is great for variety is the spice of life. You can focus on the aspects you like from each while remembering that your inner being is the most important of all. The answer to your question is already within you.
Thank u 🙏🏼- I was born in a culture where boys were preferred over girls - Girls were considered a burden - I was #5 daughter followed by 2 boys & my sister older than me took out all her anger & got attention- to this day in my 50’s I work so so hard - perhaps to get attention & to matter - i try my hardest to please everyone! This talk opened my eyes - I can’t blame anyone - Thank u helping me understand me !!
“You have to leave people with their eyes shining, and if their eyes are not shining you have to ask yourself who am i being.? “
profound
Enjoyed hearing Dr Maté, Diederik Wolsak and Sat Dharam Kaur who all complimented each other whilst having a different and valid approach to achieving the same goal.
Will watch again as I find Diederik's targeted approach at locating fear and tracing it's memory back very helpful, and more helpful still, he has a conviction to speak of what we are in truth and what my fear is concealing. His videos have helped me in studying A Course in Miracles and taking a braver and more practical approach, rather than my usual not wanting to look at the problem and hoping if I read it enough I will get beamed up by the spiritual mothership for just for being a diligent reader. Thanks Sat Dharam Kaur.
+John Round Thank you for your comments John. May insight transform fear. Blessings on the path.
Watched many interviews of Gabor recently. This one is older. He has come a long way in five years. Brings much less ego to the table these days. Nice work.
Dr Mate is amazing.
Doctor Mattes words are amazing. Doctor Matte worked with my late husband David Biggs and I when we ran our home for high risk teens with ADHD and addiction. Bieng a parent is the greatest gift from god . Matte's wisdom of how childhood trauma and abuse leaves a permanent scar leading to addiction and self loathing is so true. We feed the hunger from wthin ourselves to fill an emptiness that was void in are childhood never feeling sustained. So many trying to fill the void even as we watch ourselves withering away. Love where are you, feed me ,i'm empty and so alone fill me I cannot take the pain anymore. Anything please work, fill me fill me. Nothing is working anymore ,fear sucumbs me for I'm losing myself please tell me who I am . I searched my whole life I need you to tell me who I am for I was little and lost I needed you to care where were you
May I suggest you put in the effort to spell his name correctly? Especially if your husband had privilege of working with such a man., and you obviously respect, appreciate and benefit from his work.
@@evannaallen8881 🙌🏆🙌
@@evannaallen8881 I have one word for ms perfect
WOW
Finally I found my teacher!!!!! Dr Gabor Maté wins the parade!!!
Loved this. I love Gabors work, I'm sikh too and love to meditate so was great to listen and see this. Effective no nonsense real help, no other self help books needed to find answers. And a pleasure to listen to the other chap who spoke every truth. Respect and love from UK. Ps. I visited BC its beautiful. Bless
I lived almost sixty Years out of my body, on the expectations of others, I totally disagree with " We are not our body", we are, and there is where healing starts in the body.
Totally agree with you. I just do that also.
I assume "you are not your body" is rethorical.
They can't mean that, seriously,
We are more than physiological processes but we are these also. The brain registers constantly the physiological states and reacts to these Data by entering a mind state or another. No brain is functioning without massive body-interactions.
Thus "i am nothing without my body" is true.
The science fiction with brains living in a bath is the greatest stupidity ever expressed on this earth.
These old guys in their socks are so cool😍♥️♥️👍🏻👍🏻 seriously, I'm getting so much out of this. Thank you
Legacy, Gabor will leave a legacy to help mankind return to himself.
the good stuff starts at 9:50 ;)
I came to this talk from having had watched many of Gabor Maté's talks and knew nothing of Diederik. I did scroll through the comments, as I often have the habit of doing (and having my thinking influenced by them, because of my sensitivity). In my view they are both saying the same essential thing - that peace or "joy" is an end result of recognizing true self as apart from the egoic mind. Gabor calls this authenticity or the authentic self, as you are when born, and then distracted from by societal influences and childhood traumas.
I do like the point they seemed to both agree strongly on, which is that "trauma" is the reaction to the incident, not the incident itself - so a seemingly small minor reaction by a parent (minor in their eyes) in early childhood could become a trauma in the psyche that could possibly go unnoticed in a lifetime (and probably expressed through the body via illness) - luckily us who are watching this are already on that path to understanding.
Diederik does seem to have a more intellectual approach in his manner of speaking, that I can understand why some people see it as perhaps condescending. In my case, if I pick up on that feeling it means I recognize that potential in myself - that recognition is always a gift of awareness. In any case I'm grateful to have these two beings willing to share such powerful knowledge.
that's really powerful... starts at 1:35:08 about addiction/mental issues, keypoint: "... it's an experience of life and death. if my mum or my dad is not there when they are supposed to be there; i am threatened - my life is threatened. That becomes a traumatic incident."
who hasn't experienced that? If that's true, very easy to see where insecurity comes from; generated from our society (parents working all the time, inefficient transport, etc.)
That's what I thought. Then why do some people find it easy to heal. And others sabotage
@@daynat2349 Differences in epigenetics endowments,supportive environments, difference between each person's type and grades,age at trauma, insight, presence of individuals of light,etc vary greatly between the said traumatic individuals.
I just finished my BA in psychology. Gabor is such a huge insperation, I love his work and perspective, and I adpre how he shares his own struggles as well. he gives so much hope that I can too help other people, even if I have struggles and wounds myself. bless his soul
I am listening for a long time about 60 years of my life.......Dr Ashley Montagu in the book TOUCHING got me started in the summer and spring of 1972-1973 in Richmond BC.........la leche league international
Incase you're interested, here are the lyrics to IN YOUR MIND
[Singer: Johnny Cash .. Songwriter: Rosanne Cash]
"In Your Mind In your mind
One foot on Jacob's ladder and one foot in the fire
And ***IT ALL GOES DOWN IN YOUR MIND***
Livin' at the bottom of the stairs of life
Never a smile knockin' on your door
The air is blue and so are you
Prehistoric monsters on the floor
Last verse of your last song
And God don't hear dead men
The end of the line is in your mind
Then you'll be stayin' in
In your mind In your mind
Bone for bone and skin for skin
Eye for eye and tooth for tooth
Heart for heart and soul for soul
Somebody said "What is truth"?
Lock it up and close it down
The sound of mournin' like a dove
High beyond the rattlin' roar
Lookin' to the face of love
[Chorus:] In your mind In your mind
It all goes down in your mind
One foot on Jacob's ladder and one foot in the fire
And it all goes down in your mind
In your mind In your mind
Sunday words are back again
And you eat your fundamentalist pie
But just a piece you understand
You get the rest up in the sky
Praise and glory, wounded angels
Shufflin' 'round the room
Eternity is down the hall
And you sit there bendin' spoons
In your mind In your mind
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Sacrificial drops of pain
On a silver plated cross
Sanctification on a chain
Thay say redemption draweth nigh
The storms of silence from above
Stop your ears and close your eyes
And try to find the face of love"
[Repeat Chorus twice]
{Dksmith@king.bristol.tn.us}
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Rosanne Cash
Thank you.
such a comfort to listen to beautiful souls that are willing to share ways to heal our painful addictions.very grateful blessings Namaste.
The authenticity of sitting in a chair.
Deeply greatful. You all are such “eyes”-openers. 🙏🏽🌻🙏🏽🌻🙏🏽🌻🙏🏽
One of the best Talks you can find of YT. And i have listened to a lot. Especially Diederiks introduction from min.40. and the powerful soundhealing at the end. Thank you Dr. Gabor Mate
What a wonderful collaboration between Gabor and Diederik.
exploring wisdom of the ages he deserves more recognition for all of his effort
Many thanks for such great talk.
Thanks for the upload
This is one of the most enlighten videos I have never seen. Thank you!
THANK you BOTH, Gabor and Diederik!
There was lot of eye opening comments!
I really enjoyed this 2h and it really helped me.
What a wonderful talk. Thank you for opening your hearts to everyone.
All this consciousness talk. Cool
As Allan Watts posed the question Who am I ! The answer was: I am playing someone on the stage of life and when the show is finished for some, we go back stage and never return. There will always be new players and not many will find out they real act.
What a great man! Excellent talk and analysis by Dr. Gabor. He
So many helpful insights! Thank you.
Incredible wisdom. Thank you sincerely.
How i love your wisdom Dr. Gabor we are blessed to learn from you! May u be blessed with health vitality always
omg Gabor on his phone in the beginning just gave me the best giggle, I just love him lol
Brilliant teamwork guys ❤️🙏🏿. Love from South Africa. Thank you.
Love Dr. Gabor, such a pure mind 💞. One lecture is better than the other, and so on..
Great Attitude = Gratitude 💕
A safe container ! Absolutely necessary when we are uncovering unconscious beliefs 💓
I am an 86-year-old woman 42 years clean and sober! i’m still in AA but I have worked my other issues and only recently came across Gabor Maté ! He is wonderful❤
Brilliant!! Thank you to you both ..
Thank you both very much
Patricia
I love Diederik soothing voice and the patience and peace he exudes. Love his Choose Again therapy!
2 Masters.... how rare 💖
Thanks for posting
Thank you !! it is so full of truth!
The excercises were amazing 🙌
We are not our body, and our true self cannot be abused or hurt. However, in order to fully embody it we absolutely need to experience our true self, go beyond our ego experientially and not with our conceptual mind.
I was 6 when my brother was born and I want to write him all the trauma he experienced in his first years and can't remember now, so that he can know where his subconscious beliefs are rooted in.
Do it please
Do it
I understand what you mean.... That was exactly what I thought I should do with my brothers.....Perhaps we MUST.. To help them 'discharge' their pain, discomfort
i love this video one of the best ...love those two guys .thank you
What a fantastic and inspiring talk! Thank your amazing gift
What wonderful brilliant men who care about others an who want our societies to function for the betterment of it's citizens.
I understand it at a intelectual level when he says that rape happened to the body. But I will not believe it unless it comes from a person who has suffered rape or abuse.
Its easy to talk when you haven't gone through a rape experience.
It’s both, the body remembers and the soul is violated.I wasn’t raped but molested and I couldn’t begin imagine the lifeline violation . I feel and remember every touch sometimes and when people hug me around my waste or someone looks at me through shallow desire there’s a sickening discomfort I feel. This was 9-10 years ago I don’t remember that year I just rennet that day in the summer vividly
Rape is murder of the soul. It happens to every aspect of the person entirely. Including the identity. I was raped by an ex after he was diagnosed with mental illness. The same brain changes happen as those of soldiers in direct battle
I believe that DR. Maté has got some revolutionarily brilliant ideas when it comes to healing. Why? because the polarization between the mind and the body is probably what completely has harkened and halted progress in treating people on a fundamental level. And i dont agree with that people dont want to heal, i believe everyone wants to feel as good as they possibly can, and that becomes apparent in addiction. People who take drugs or use alcohol to feel the euphoria or the wellbeing they are missing in their everyday life. And it is that feelgood type thing that people without depression or any sort of problem with their minds have. We usually forget how we got so deep into our depressions and the answers are there but now some of our feelings and trraumas are locked into conditions physical or mental but usually its not only physical or usually not only mental its both. Our Ego is something we cannot live without because it keeps track of what made us sick and what keeps making us sick. Our ego is the only part of us that is interrested in getting well and ultimately free.
Dr Mate
You are a blessing and you are helping many people
Thank you for all your hard work that you do to help people
God Bless U
😍
a really great session; so much insight so kindly provided!
this is absolutely brilliant
Beautiful words!
Wonderfully wise talk .
Taking 'responsibility' for myself in every moment means precisely, responding with ability. Ability to realize that as infinite love at i time where there's the greatest illusion of separateness, in all levels of our society that seems designed for maximum isolation, i'm allowing myself the exquisite joy of coming home.
Wow, life changing. Thanks 😊 🙏
Gabor Mate, you are such an inspiration.
2 hr well spent! Great talks!
did you complete the hand waving exercise?
i luv his brutal honesty
This is such a great enlightening, learning session not just for addicts but for entire human being community around the World!!!!
Parenting ,and not necessarily intentional trauma ,never has been presented to many generations!!
That’s why a lot of us got angry, emotional treatment and like Dr Gabor said emotional separation from parents in very early age!!
This presentation should be translated to many languages!!!!!!!
so whoever finds it on You Tube have a chance to go back to their childhoods and figure it out how to modified their behaviors to produce new , mentally healthy generations , and reduce addictions tendency.
Super deeply learning session !!
Seems like I’m getting addicted to all Dr. Gabor presentations!!!Will take me long time to dive through tall of them , but there is always time to listen them in the bathroom, during cooking, during make up, driving,at check up lines, doctors behind the schedule , waiting rooms etc,
Fantastic job to make The World better place.
Thank you for this’d!
Would love to be a fly on the wall wen theese two have a "three day talk".
Wonderfull insights beautifully expressed. Thank you all for your wonderfull work.
The language and song of love, can be a great station to tune into :)
Flies don’t have ears so you won’t hear a darn thing! Hahaha
I'm glad I found him he is so deep in all his experiences but he shares with us I give my whole attention to him he knows what the hell is going on and what he's talking about quite an extraordinary man unique and sexy
powerful testimony of self improvement and release from negative and limiting self fulfilling prophesy's.
I am teaching what I need to learn …
Wolsak is amazing. I didn't know about him. Of course mate is.
Thank you for your response Diederik.
AE I am not interested in new age rhetoric. Only Truth, and keeping it real..
i've seen a few comments here about the part where the woman who got raped and the 'you are not your body' part of the video ... when one is STILL able to be triggered, it cannot be full healing ... i was raped years ago, thought i'd healed. heard a rape 'joke' in a MMORPG game among 2 guys i had thought good friends of mine, got upset, triggered, to me they were agreeing with the horrific experience i went through, condoning it in a small way. i unleashed my anger, others heard about it .... One of them came to me, a young lad, helped me to reframe my experience of both the joke and my past ... somehow he had naturally come across this concept during or after an entire childhood of being raped by a gang of men (who now locked away) Got to know him well over these last few years, oneof the sanest people i have ever met. but he was right, i needed to change the way i thought about my experience, no amount of 'validation' was gunna help me fully heal (to get over it and move on in life however? yes, helpd me with first bit of healing), a harsh cold truth i know, but i was holding myself prisoner to that experience, locking myself as a victim, a survivor etc .... sometimes i can still get that tension in the gut, but nothing like i used to, i can and do choose how to react when thats provoked by something rape related
kim warburton you’re my hero for saying this.
This talk is addictive.
It's on fire 🔥
Thank You Gabor
For me I feel like Diederick was talking from an abstract point of view,he may well have experienced himself as Source but it did not feel like he as speaking from that perspective.He did not feel congruent to me.He actually came across as quite annoyed and aggressive.I did not find his energy good for me,I had to keep on skipping and go back to Gabor whose energy I found a lot more grounded and congruent.
Balls!!! Diedrich I found him to be authentic!!!!! And east to listen to. Lovely man!
Easy to listen* hes got great advice!
@@daynat2349 hi I agree with Upenda comments. I found Diederick not actually living in his body. But as some one one looking down on his body giving descriptions. Not really experiencing from the inside. He openly blames the women asking the
question about why some of her clients in the circle left. Saying that it was her fault.-- "shaming her ". perhaps some one left because they became instantly enlightened. We are not so powerful that we can make every one want to listen to us.
Perfect
Feel that discomfort you feel and use Diederiks 6 steps to release YOUR hidden belief
There in lies the opportunity for YOUR inner Peace...Diederik is merely triggering YOUR thought and feeling for you.
If your feeling were actually universal fact, then everyone would agree with you and that surely isnt so
Bless you Sister
Love Gabor - but sadly switched off when the other chap seemed to dismiss the rape womans experience, diminishing body experience. That's too heady and sounds patronising to me, we are also our body and experience.
These two are the dinosaurs to a fucked up world. I am so grateful for this finding!!
If you force a victim of sexual abuse to forgive and say she loves her abuser BEFORE you help her heal what it did to her psyche then I guess you would think some people don't want to heal! Everyone wants to heal if they get to see their innocence and that they get to experience that they are love, (not just hear platitudes) though Wolsak may have "ultimate truth" on his side his approach is lacking in compassion, empathy, and humility. Help her UNDERTAND what she thinks her abuse meant about her is a lie; help her FEEL her innocence; help her EXPIERENCE that she is love; THEN ask to see/say she loves her father and she forgives him and she will cry tears of gratitude, not think you didn't hear her "story" that is remembered through the lens of trauma. You believe people don't always want to heal, but you think all abusers are innocent? Maybe you are missing something here? Maybe?
Yes, that was ridiculous. This guy sounds like he just wants to be wow so superior to everyone, look how woke he is. I don't buy it.
I think it's a major red flag
@@johnorona99 Me too. He sounds like a narcissist. And I hate how Maté is making jokes about what he's saying. I thought he would stand up for what's right.
great one!
Talk starts at 9:55
We are having a physical experience from a conscious perspective. If we say “I am not the body” before I understand what it means to have a body, then it makes it very difficult to process emotional responses, traumas and addiction in such a way that the body and emotional responses can help us grow rather than defend ourselves and shut down the part of us that wants to learn.