9:57 I was forced by my adoptive mother to assimilate all my childhood and I'm TIRED. My adoptive mother is one ppl would call a light skin exotical. And she raised me and my brother and her biological daughter in a predominantly white suburban neighborhood. I grew up being the only black girl in my classes ever since kindergarten. Because of this my mother had my hair heat straightened ALL MY LIFE from kindergarten up to I was in college. She told me it was important to have "white girl hair" so that other people would think I'm mixed with more than just black. I was literally forced to be a "dark skin exotical" my whole life cuz my natural type 4 hair wasn't good enough. As soon as I broke free from her control and abuse I cut off my very badly heat damaged hair amd finally got to be introduced to my natural hair. I'm choose to be natural and unambiguously black because literally being my natural self was never a right a was allowed to have as a child. And that's crazy! What other race has to deal with that? I'm tired of assimilating.
Well said. I feel the same way. That being the only blk person in every class, every year gets old. The moment I left home and had control over my own hair I went natural and never looked back.
As a ds girl who grew up in a white suburban neighborhood all my life as well, I’ve had plenty of other non white/non black friends and they had to do the same thing. Maybe not when it came to hair but a lot of them never got to speak their languages, talk abt their culture and overall had to be white identified. It isn’t just black people
Oh yeah I know other races have to assimilate to whiteness but I was more specifically talking about hair. At least asian and southeast Asian even latinx poc have the hair texture that brings them ever so closer to whiteness. It's the just the use of hair to pretend I had a whole different ethnicity was just so exhausting to me as a child. It was better in my mother's eyes for me to be mistaken as a dark skin Ethiopian than as an African American. She also made me take Spanish classes in school to help cultivate this image. Wild.
I'm in a much better place, thank you! I'm no contact with my mother. I'm 2 years post big chop so it's been a journey of actually being introduced to my natural hair for the first time. I'm learning from scratch but the more I love and accept my hair the more I feel myself loving and accepting myself. It's so healing ❤️
I am Nigerian myself, and i think colorism has always been a thing here, it wasn't just so noticed until it was being talked about in the west. Then you think about some experiences you have had growing up, and then can now put a name to it. I think we just had it better in our side of the world because most of us are dark or brown skinned. So it was easier to see our images on screen.
If I grew up with more media like that with good depiction of romance or drama etc with people who look like me and not just hood classics that are based on stereotypes my self esteem would be miles better tbh
@@SpiritVinesat a certain age I legit stopped watching this kind of stuff. I could see it from young, the stuff we got vs what the white and Asian people got. TO THIS DAY Tyler Perry can’t make a movie that isn’t about black suffrage most especially black female suffrage. It’s on black people for real that the ones in these spaces literally choose to create and perpetuate these images of ourselves for some reason. And in the times that they don’t try to exploit black suffrage, they turn it into some interracial thing instead! (Recent black movie that everyone thought was about magical black people but it was just some IR romcom) I HATE IT. They legit had us watching PRECIOUS and similar stuff when we were kids. Meanwhile the white kids getting bingo the dog or some shi and the Asian kids getting studio ghibli. Then people act confused when a lot of the youth don’t see/have a good image of themselves.
💯 we have to love ourselves and not expect others to do it. They love themselves so why should we expect them to elevate our look. It's our job to elevate our look and to not elevate other peoples look above our own. It's not their job to like our look and it's not our job to like theirs.
I get what you’re saying but you can literally be worried about yourself and still receive hate but i agree we should definitely push our looks more (as if we already haven’t 🙃)
13:24 reading those sickening comments is just a reminder that the original natural hair movement was never made for 4c hair. If it was it was very swiftly copted by the 3b-4a texture. And to be real honest, the natural hair movement was copted by a lot of lightskin women with looser curls. It's so frustrating how in those days you type 4c hair in the search bar and get 20 exotical looking women (which is another conversation we need to have. Exotical women talk all the time about how 4c girls want our hair but when we were trying to learn how to do our hair all we could find were exotical women like you claiming your hair was 4c when it was just dry) We really need to forge our own unambiguous black 4c only natural hair movement from the ground up. It requires questioning things normalized from the previous movement like wash n go's. The purpose of wash n go's was to get super defined curls and the goal was to emulate 3b as close as possible. In the new wave of the natural hair movement we might have to normalize different methods, methods that prioritize the health of 4c hair, less manipulation, not demonizing shrinkage and chasing length but embracing how our hair shows growth, in volume. We have to become our own beauty standard.
Or people who don't have 4c hair would pretend to and use the 4c hash tag or claim that the style they are doing is for 4c hair which gave us unrealistic standards. Your wash n go point was spot on a lot of these popular "natural hairstyles" were only popular because they were being done by people with 3c/3a/4a /ect hair textures or were trying to make 4c hair appear looser. The natural hair movement wasn't that successful in its goal for trying to get black women to embrace their natural hair it just set unrealistic standards for our hair and that's why a lot of black women found it hard to go natural and your right about unambiguous black women needing our own movement that focuses on 4c hair so we don't have people who don't look like us being used to represent us.
@@Genesisorginhonestly this is only a little bit more annoying to me than what OP described. A lot of these people know DAMN WELL they don’t got 4C. Then will act like they didn’t know 🙄 I feel like a lot of them want to be told they don’t have 4C hair. On forums I’ve seen people with obviously non 4C asking if their is that, claiming that they can’t tell with the chart. 🙄 I don’t even have 4C myself (I think I am 4a/4b) , but I like to watch them because I like to see the hairstyles, and it’s actually the only way I get to see people doing hairstyles in the type 4 range. It’s the same for 4a/4b because you’ll have people with obviously 3b/c hair coming up and it’s like WTF??? But I get so tired searching for 4C and see some mf with hair only a little bit tighter curled that that of the hair on a shihtzu dog.
They may have been dark but l bet they wore wigs...nonsensical..ask yourself why our hair is villanised?...because it's special..unique...and something that is not easily replicated...it was something so outstanding that it had to be covered !
Period! Our hair is mesmerizing❤ and we are the only race of people blessed to have it. It's vastly different from other races around the world, and what sets us apart as a whole. I love it because it gives us such an ethereal look and represents our authentic selves❤
@@KatyJacyou can lift yourselves up without putting the rest of the world down. It’s not the look, and it’s not giving what you think it is-especially when if it’s so ‘mesmerizing’ then how come the rest of the world only wears that texture for Halloween, and not for beauty?
@@ravenrebel3183 I'm confused, she didn't put anyone down. She simply stated that afro hair is unique... Why does someone appreciating their uniqueness bother you so much to the point of you attempting to insult them?
@@ravenrebel3183 who put anyone down? Just because the the 'rest of the world' #the west wears something as a costume does not negate something has beauty or is ethereal..stop relying on others ..as a woman who has afro hair and wears it out regularly...it's something that others love and are literally mesmerised by..maybe not you tho😅..stop caring what people who are idiots think...
8:15 thinking things in your head and voicing them out so random people who are scrolling through social media can hear your negative comments are not the same thing that type of content shouldn't be put out it will just keep normalising it
9:57 I was forced by my adoptive mother to assimilate all my childhood and I'm TIRED. My adoptive mother is one ppl would call a light skin exotical. And she raised me and my brother and her biological daughter in a predominantly white suburban neighborhood. I grew up being the only black girl in my classes ever since kindergarten. Because of this my mother had my hair heat straightened ALL MY LIFE from kindergarten up to I was in college. She told me it was important to have "white girl hair" so that other people would think I'm mixed with more than just black. I was literally forced to be a "dark skin exotical" my whole life cuz my natural type 4 hair wasn't good enough. As soon as I broke free from her control and abuse I cut off my very badly heat damaged hair amd finally got to be introduced to my natural hair. I'm choose to be natural and unambiguously black because literally being my natural self was never a right a was allowed to have as a child. And that's crazy! What other race has to deal with that? I'm tired of assimilating.
Well said. I feel the same way. That being the only blk person in every class, every year gets old. The moment I left home and had control over my own hair I went natural and never looked back.
That’s actually so messed up I hope you’re okay
As a ds girl who grew up in a white suburban neighborhood all my life as well, I’ve had plenty of other non white/non black friends and they had to do the same thing. Maybe not when it came to hair but a lot of them never got to speak their languages, talk abt their culture and overall had to be white identified. It isn’t just black people
Oh yeah I know other races have to assimilate to whiteness but I was more specifically talking about hair. At least asian and southeast Asian even latinx poc have the hair texture that brings them ever so closer to whiteness.
It's the just the use of hair to pretend I had a whole different ethnicity was just so exhausting to me as a child. It was better in my mother's eyes for me to be mistaken as a dark skin Ethiopian than as an African American. She also made me take Spanish classes in school to help cultivate this image. Wild.
I'm in a much better place, thank you! I'm no contact with my mother. I'm 2 years post big chop so it's been a journey of actually being introduced to my natural hair for the first time. I'm learning from scratch but the more I love and accept my hair the more I feel myself loving and accepting myself. It's so healing ❤️
I am Nigerian myself, and i think colorism has always been a thing here, it wasn't just so noticed until it was being talked about in the west. Then you think about some experiences you have had growing up, and then can now put a name to it. I think we just had it better in our side of the world because most of us are dark or brown skinned. So it was easier to see our images on screen.
If I grew up with more media like that with good depiction of romance or drama etc with people who look like me and not just hood classics that are based on stereotypes my self esteem would be miles better tbh
I imagine it's a post colonialism issue. I think in the pre colonial world melinated people didn't have this problem.
@@SpiritVinesat a certain age I legit stopped watching this kind of stuff. I could see it from young, the stuff we got vs what the white and Asian people got. TO THIS DAY Tyler Perry can’t make a movie that isn’t about black suffrage most especially black female suffrage. It’s on black people for real that the ones in these spaces literally choose to create and perpetuate these images of ourselves for some reason. And in the times that they don’t try to exploit black suffrage, they turn it into some interracial thing instead! (Recent black movie that everyone thought was about magical black people but it was just some IR romcom) I HATE IT. They legit had us watching PRECIOUS and similar stuff when we were kids. Meanwhile the white kids getting bingo the dog or some shi and the Asian kids getting studio ghibli. Then people act confused when a lot of the youth don’t see/have a good image of themselves.
💯 we have to love ourselves and not expect others to do it. They love themselves so why should we expect them to elevate our look. It's our job to elevate our look and to not elevate other peoples look above our own. It's not their job to like our look and it's not our job to like theirs.
I get what you’re saying but you can literally be worried about yourself and still receive hate but i agree we should definitely push our looks more (as if we already haven’t 🙃)
I love my natural hair lol but I feel like you’re talking me out of a toxic relationship I’m about to make the call 😂😂😂 excellent video!
13:24 reading those sickening comments is just a reminder that the original natural hair movement was never made for 4c hair. If it was it was very swiftly copted by the 3b-4a texture. And to be real honest, the natural hair movement was copted by a lot of lightskin women with looser curls. It's so frustrating how in those days you type 4c hair in the search bar and get 20 exotical looking women (which is another conversation we need to have. Exotical women talk all the time about how 4c girls want our hair but when we were trying to learn how to do our hair all we could find were exotical women like you claiming your hair was 4c when it was just dry)
We really need to forge our own unambiguous black 4c only natural hair movement from the ground up. It requires questioning things normalized from the previous movement like wash n go's. The purpose of wash n go's was to get super defined curls and the goal was to emulate 3b as close as possible. In the new wave of the natural hair movement we might have to normalize different methods, methods that prioritize the health of 4c hair, less manipulation, not demonizing shrinkage and chasing length but embracing how our hair shows growth, in volume. We have to become our own beauty standard.
Or people who don't have 4c hair would pretend to and use the 4c hash tag or claim that the style they are doing is for 4c hair which gave us unrealistic standards. Your wash n go point was spot on a lot of these popular "natural hairstyles" were only popular because they were being done by people with 3c/3a/4a /ect hair textures or were trying to make 4c hair appear looser.
The natural hair movement wasn't that successful in its goal for trying to get black women to embrace their natural hair it just set unrealistic standards for our hair and that's why a lot of black women found it hard to go natural and your right about unambiguous black women needing our own movement that focuses on 4c hair so we don't have people who don't look like us being used to represent us.
@@Genesisorginhonestly this is only a little bit more annoying to me than what OP described. A lot of these people know DAMN WELL they don’t got 4C. Then will act like they didn’t know 🙄 I feel like a lot of them want to be told they don’t have 4C hair. On forums I’ve seen people with obviously non 4C asking if their is that, claiming that they can’t tell with the chart. 🙄
I don’t even have 4C myself (I think I am 4a/4b) , but I like to watch them because I like to see the hairstyles, and it’s actually the only way I get to see people doing hairstyles in the type 4 range. It’s the same for 4a/4b because you’ll have people with obviously 3b/c hair coming up and it’s like WTF??? But I get so tired searching for 4C and see some mf with hair only a little bit tighter curled that that of the hair on a shihtzu dog.
They may have been dark but l bet they wore wigs...nonsensical..ask yourself why our hair is villanised?...because it's special..unique...and something that is not easily replicated...it was something so outstanding that it had to be covered !
Period! Our hair is mesmerizing❤ and we are the only race of people blessed to have it. It's vastly different from other races around the world, and what sets us apart as a whole. I love it because it gives us such an ethereal look and represents our authentic selves❤
@@KatyJac Yes! ❤️
@@KatyJacyou can lift yourselves up without putting the rest of the world down. It’s not the look, and it’s not giving what you think it is-especially when if it’s so ‘mesmerizing’ then how come the rest of the world only wears that texture for Halloween, and not for beauty?
@@ravenrebel3183 I'm confused, she didn't put anyone down. She simply stated that afro hair is unique... Why does someone appreciating their uniqueness bother you so much to the point of you attempting to insult them?
@@ravenrebel3183 who put anyone down? Just because the the 'rest of the world' #the west wears something as a costume does not negate something has beauty or is ethereal..stop relying on others ..as a woman who has afro hair and wears it out regularly...it's something that others love and are literally mesmerised by..maybe not you tho😅..stop caring what people who are idiots think...
8:15 thinking things in your head and voicing them out so random people who are scrolling through social media can hear your negative comments are not the same thing that type of content shouldn't be put out it will just keep normalising it
Yay! Am i first? 👀💅🏾✨
You are! 🥰
African bleachers look so odd