Could you imagine the reactions of abusive parents to their child having the vocabulary to describe their abuse as it’s happening in real time? It would be so empowering to these poor babies. Abuse occurs because of a power differential. Share this and level the playing field!
I agree. Blessings🙏 At some point early on in childhood however the children of abuse who are naturally prone to it, become the abusers themselves and so it goes on and on and on. There's actually no one person to blame in this. It's an ongoing human condition that's been in play since the beginning. A true knowledge and love of God (within) and loving our neighbors as ourselves would maybe be a good place to start our individual transformation.
So right. It would stop or reduce the effect of the ego trips that go in the school dynamics. It will actually raise the ones feeling less for whatever reason and temper the ones who seem having it together. The effects of the clicks and the bullies may be reduced if not eliminated-too much to ask.
People have abused me all my life and now everyone criticizes me that I'm "negative." people don't usually develop a sunny disposition from decades of abuse. So this is a catch 22 it seems.
@@rockstarofredondoI understand your feelings on that. I was there too. One day I was thinking about this and this thought came to mind. God creates us to follow our own free will. It’s not that God allowed. God sat there and saw the trauma and cried. He is there with us, burdened and sad that people can do awful things to others. He didn’t leave you, he can’t stop people from doing terrible things, especially when they don’t give themselves to God.
At last someone who definitely knows what he's talking about. This guy is extremely intelligent and detailed. Glad that he's giving this great presentation.
This brings my whole life full circle. Its makes so much sense. Its too bad a very small percentage are self aware, the majority of people will never wake up to this. So powerful.
Wow - and thanks for sharing this! How is this for you hearing all this? And is this new Information for you? And what do you recommend all the younger ones on their journey? I am 54 now and since 17 years on this journey - but i never heard all this so crystal clearly broken down by someone. And I am still deep in shame And for me C.Jung gave the best advice - Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. Our whole society is uniquely build on shame! One must be very brave or deep in pain to consciously step out of this crazyness
I recognize so many people from these descriptions. So sad that they don't have a clue. I wish this was presented to every high school class in the world.
Me too. I have deep shame and insecurities which I feel I am aware of (the anxiety is undeniable). My dad tells many bizarre stories which make me feel he is totally unaware. Like a story he has retold over the decades, how my mum could have been with an amazing guy but somehow she chose his insignificant self, and he tells it very dramatically. It looks so sad. One day my gentle husband quietly responded: "I don't think that's psychologically very healthy, no one person is worth more than any other." My dad was quite stumped and responded with: "Can't you just leave me with my fantasy?" He seams to enjoy such stories which make people around him wince.
I wish I had heard this information when I was in high school. I could have dealt with my pain at 17 instead of 67. I graduated from H. S. in June 1974.🤔
So deep. So incredibly deep. Its so great to be able to listen to stuff about childhood trauma and actually be able to listen instead of getting triggered by trauma and escaping into fantasy and thoughts the whole time.
This is life-saving material. Thank you so much for normalising shame, its effects and the healing required. This video itself reduces feelings of shame.
@@AngelaLopez-gf7ks Yes! It helps with being less ashamed of the shame! Most of the time I walk around feeling awful for feeling awful, hearing that it's a natural consequence of a crappy childhood is a great relief.💖
(I wish I wasn’t the way I’m) I told my self that sentence for thousands of times in my 25 years of living and I’m so thankful I could change even abit thank you lot sir your videos are extremely helpful ❤
❤Me too there is not much change, but understanding what he is saying brings relief. Somehow feeling less ashamed of being always ashamed, someone saying it is normal if you had a disadvantaged childhood. So grateful for these videos.
I’m eternally grateful for your support and service!!!! You are helping me understand how at 43 years of being unconscious to who I am today as a human being and addict attempting to get and stay sober as well as deepen my relationship with my Higher Power! Thank you and God bless you and yours!!!!
Aha...now I get it! I had to watch this three times to experience this! I now understand the core of my shame and will guide it through in how God sees us all. I bring understanding with compassion. Shame has carried so much pain and abuse. It deserves love. It served its purpose and did a great job doing what it could to make me a better person with how it thought it could. Today, I hold it close to my heart and accept a new way to be together - with respect and compassion. I see it now, after the session with my coach, the inner child workshop and now, after hearing your words, Pastor Tim! What a beautiful moment, what a wonderful experience - thank you for this! Wow
no you dont deserve love, shame is self centered. we deserve wrath and yet God loved us apart from our sins and in compassion died in our place. this should transform our identity to be christ centered. healing is a part of the christian life but we need to be in Christ by repentance and faith in his blood, receiving his mercy justice and compassion
Why is hurting/disappointing other people so truly terrifying for me? I would go above and beyond to avoid hurting someone's feelings even if it means to not put up proper boundaries for myself..
I guess you're afraid of being left alone, again. Not giving you the chance to learn that people won't really respect you unless you put up borders they can respect, so you'll end up abused and alone instead. I'm not an expert but I have been there and I just had to start start somewhere. People will easily treat you as if you are the problem, even when you just try to develop a spine, but keep at it and you'll learn over time. A have learned from history as well, especially the Bible as that is unusually honest about how we as people are. Just be aware that the criticism Jesus had for the religious upper classes of his day is equally as valid for a lot of religious leaders today, even when there are exceptions. Psychology and other such things of are useful as well, of course.
My experience with this is that I am not afraid of being rejected in the end but I am afraid of the feelings that might (or might even not) give me. It is never the thing I am afraid of but the fear of the negative feelings I expect to overwhelm me For years I focused on the wrong subject - i always tried to overcome my fear of rejection where instead I should/could have focused solelely on the feelings behind it. By this it is still not easy BUT it became a completely different game for me - as it has nothing more to do with the others or the outside but only with me and myself internally - that gave me total different perspective on and a huge motivation as now, I felt empowered just by myself again. It is never the rejection but what kinds of feelings I tried to avoid - that is the thing I try to focus on now
The step mentioned at 42 mins about stopping it before it progresses is EXTREMELY important and also EXTREMELY difficult. Not impossible, but really hard.
These videos have been so informative and it helps to understand what's going on and why we act and feel the ways we do. A point that stood out for me is don't try to be authentic with unsafe people. That makes so much sense. I appreciate Tim sharing his knowledge 🙏
Thank you so much for the work that you do. Your videos have helped me so much in the past few weeks, I have NEVER been able to find any therapist or anyone who is this educated and genuine. I can feel how much you care about helping others and it I am very moved by that. We need more people in the world like you, thank you sir
I feel exatraordinary gratitude towards what you do here. It is like the time when Jesus came to a blind man and commend him to see and the man strated to see. I feel just the same listening to you. Crying, overwhelmed, feeling sorry for myself and my kids, sometimes hopeful, but anyway, finally SEEING...
This man is literally changing my life! Every single series I listen to, just helps me unwire my brain little by little. It seems like I am not alone, I was never alone what I felt is a real thing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and keep doing this amazing work. We all are sending you best wishes
I feel like scapegoats should be able to sue or get reparations for carrying all the family's pain how are we expected to be normal adults after living a nightmare
@Kali08012 if someone internalizes the scapegoat role well enough it can be debilitating because you take it with you wherever you go and you will start to create new situations where you're playing the role which means you're adult relationships are rocky and easily fall apart your job can be lost because you only feel comfortable when you are negatively targeted and it goes on and on and usually when you have let the scapegoat role become you it's unconscious so it's very hard to undo and don't forget most scapegoats are loyal too so the more loyal they are the more they will be bad because if they are good its a betrayal of the role
Tim! I can't thank you enough. I have always been busy growing in my personal growth and healing yet the way and method you explained trauma and shame puts everything into a crystal clear perspective. Listening to you already changed my cognitive understanding and I'm very confident this will transform my life and relationship. So grateful for your work 💚
Yep. Just realised my generalised anxiety is …. My inner child crying for connection (as HIMSELF). Yep, I’m trying to connect with people all the time… as myself (because I could “sort of connect” through my persona). That criticism from parents, comes from their hidden intentions of possessing you (as they want you to be).
Its so tragic. It makes me wonder about my mom because she says she has no sense of self. While i have a very clear sense of self, but was raised on such a way where me being authentic was shameful. I never got the help i needed when i faced a traumatic event my family os very critical of me the person who faced abuse and instead of getting help for it i was neglected. I don't trust anyone not even myself
I stumbled across this channel a few days ago. They have been eye opening. Right now these videos are my emotional lifeline. Sounds dramatic but its true. Thank you so much for these recordings.
This guy is the answer to all my life questions! And yes…I would love to be a part of a programme to teach that at schools in UK! Thank you and love you Tim! 🫶
Thanks @Tim Fletcher. Your insights have helped me better understand my own thoughts and emotions, as well as those of the people who are important to me but arrogant and abusive. While the past cannot be changed, it still profoundly has impacted my present and future. Revisiting past experiences and memories helps me better understand myself and the world around me. Through this process, I can uncover the truth and break free from the illusions created by those around me. These illusions come from a variety of sources, such as loved ones who have intentionally or unintentionally misled me, educational institutions and textbooks that have presented a one-sided view of history, movies and other media that might have perpetuated stereotypes, and cultural and religious norms that have restricted my thinking. Additionally, spiritual figures and communities created illusions by promoting certain beliefs and practices that didn't align with my values or beliefs. By examining my past experiences and questioning the illusions presented to me, I can better understand myself and the world around me and move forward with a greater sense of clarity and purpose.
Super important to know. I operated out of shame all my life until I had a psychic change. I drank and used until I was at death's door, thank the Lord I started working on myself odaat!
As abused children we blame ourselves for the victimhood, only as adults can we see we weren't the bad guy. Working through this right now and hope to be free from this old shame soon its a weighted burden on the soul.
This is the best and most fruitful definition of codependency I every heard Codependency is how 2 shame based people relate to each other - the dance of 2 people trying to avoid the others pain and at the same time trying to get fullfilled their needs. Without revealing who they really are! Nailed it and i can 100% to it from all codependent relationships i was in so far. And can see it now perfectly in the relationships of my parents and all my siblings 😮
Everything you said hits home! Especially the wanting of a child to feel loved, that’s exactly why I prayed and asked for my son, and though he is a major blessing it definitely created more trauma 😢. Thank you for your teachings
I was the scapegoat as a child and again, the scapegoat as an adult going through divorce and child custody, which continues to this day with my adult children still blaming me for things wrong with their life. I feel as though non of my children, or grandchildren(now adults with their own children) really know me at all. I've worn my mask my entire life, and was always in rebellion. I'm 76 years old, I need to find the real authentic me.
To be honest I hate myself. I have fucked up. I haven't taken the responsibility for myself. I have lived my life to serve and help others because that is all I know. Finding a reason to live without doing that I am lost. I love seeing the joy I bring to others in need then for them to become autonomous. But I can't help, become autonomous myself 😢or soothe myself. Without others I'm nothing. What I wrote to myself today is: If only I were different I am failing myself every day I feel like a looser I'm not good enough I am not enough I am a failure of myself I don't function properly I have no discipline I take no responsibility for my life I don't like myself I'm not self-sufficient I am a failure I have no reason to stay alive I only exist to help others but I don't live I hide as much as I can and only come alive when someone needs me So that's how I feel.
That's all the things we teach ourselves to die when in REALITY you are worthy just there, you. Forget the world. They survive and go forth. Take your SOUL TO HEART NOW. Hold, nurture and heal.❤
Every part I am watching I am growing more gratefulness to you giving this life changing information to people for free. Thank you thank you thank you!
I am the perfect child but I am still criticised and abused and that's why I set boundaries Nd also stopped trying to be perfect learning to accept myself and focus on good enough improvement and saying no
Tremendously helpful, I have been searching for sufficient information for years. You have answered all my questions. Lots of aha moments. Words are not enough to thank you 🙏 ❤🌹
I have lived behind a mask for so long I don't know which part of me is the mask in which part is authentic. Even if I don't need to lie,I feel the need to lie about something. It's like if I tell the truth the world will end.
Thank you, great information that clarifies how we get our needs met from shame mind frame. Some I was aware of but some of it I wasn't. Very well presented. 💖
Now , I understand something I couldn't for 42 years, even reading a lot of psychology couldn't structure so well. I even feel the pain listening to it. Thank you for these lectures.
Really enjoyed listening to this video on healing shame and intrinsic value-- I know this to be a major issue in my life and this causes me to feel like I want to hide or extremely shameful and blocked/anxious when connecting with people and especially when I get the vibe some won't be accepting and will be judgmental or rejecting if I show my true self or express myself naturally or if I make mistakes and do or say something wrong or that they don't agree with and I can totally agree that this is what happens when we're shame based parented. Really loved to be reminded that despite what I believe about myself or what I have done in the past, I do have intrinsic value just as everyone else and that feels very liberating in itself! Thank you again!
I had to say No to involvement in activities at church...had no family assisting me with my son...with my day to day plus "added tasks". Its not kind to myself to be overextended. I could see the Lack of comsideration related to family, home mgmt. I cd not fulfil the expectations to such a high degree.
This is so true. All of it. It is something I learned through spiritual practice, but always love to hear about psychology cause they describe different parts of the same phenomenons usually.
Thank you for explaining all this so well. Ive caught a couple videos with bible examples at the end. I like how youre making this for everyone because trauma happens to anyone. Im working through my own trauma so it helps to know exactly where my behavior has come from. Now how to fix this after 52 years of carring all this baggage.
sadness and grief and longing and aching and misery and nostalgia: flood me. my heart literally physically hurts. HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? HOW AND WHY? he doesn't miss me? I'm that easy to replace? I'M THAT EASY TO BE THIS CRUEL TO? I don't deserve a goodbye nor an explanation? our connection and friendship wasn't real? I AM STUCK IN FREEZE (mostly, perpetually). my heart is so heavy. the grief; the ache; the longing. I miss him. I needed him. I miss our connection. HOW THE FUCK COULD HE ACTUALLY REALLY DO THIS TO ME? One day we're talking all day, every day, the next, we're complete strangers. I die inside. PANIC PANIC PANIC AND. SO. MUCH. GRIEF!! I truly die inside. The pain is unbearable. I am dizzy with grief. Truly unimaginable darkness. DEBILITATING PARALYZING PANIC... I wish to die. I have severe PTSD. the person whom I thought was my best friend, gave me this PTSD. he raped me. on a soul level. he viciously brutally violently maliciously raped my soul. ghosted me. discarded me like garbage. replaced me for another. (STUPID SICK MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE, HE IS!!) I feel the PTSD in my body. I am drowning in darkness. I'm in hell with no escape. I face every moment of every day: with utter dread and sheer terror. so... as an act of my own free will... I choose to release and detach all vibrations and frequencies that do not serve my highest good. I responsibly cut all cords from all people in my past, and declare and command their energy to no longer have access to the sacred parts of my being! I release and send back their energy to them with the purest intent. I call back my energy from their sacred space. I command this all, for my inner healing and for my inner peace. IN JESUS' PRECIOUS HOLY MIGHTY POWERFUL NAME, I DECLARE, IT IS SO! I am embracing the light within my soul. I forgive therefore I am forgiven. I love therefore I receive love. And so it is. NOTES TO SELF: - work on yourself - heal yourself - purify, release, cleanse, attract - be independent; fall in love with you - radiate magical energy - develop a sense of mystery and safety and astonishment - visualize wishes fulfilled (COMMAND and FEEL) - live your life on purpose ❤ - Radical Honesty = EASY (if you're not afraid of losing something) Thank you Heavenly Father ❤ Thank you Universe ❤ Thank you God❤ Thank you Gurus❤ Thank you Angels❤ Thank you Ancestors ❤ Thank you Divine Spirit ❤ Thank you Mother Earth ❤
Your caring heart and experience and education, is helping people figure out what is going on in their lives not many people with the proper credentials that really care about people with addiction we normally get judged and pushed to the bottom or trash pile I want to thank you so very much for caring and doing what you do I am now almost 60 years old and my whole family has been struggling all of our lives with trying to be the best we can be but there is something that interferes I live in Kentucky and I was wondering if you know how I can get to someone that understands complex trauma in a holistic approach so my family and my self can begin the healing process
There's another source of shame I believe isn't mentioned: The child who doesn't meet their parents expectations, won't take it upon themselves to find out who this child really is, and where the sensitive child is perfectly able to discern that their worried parents find them of little value. It leads to confusion, and the stunted development that results from always being treated as if you should be someone else doesn't help any either.
![Megan Thee Stallion - Neva Play (feat. RM) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TpYTyAaTRts/mqdefault.jpg)
Extremely powerful. These videos should be shown in schools.
Could you imagine the reactions of abusive parents to their child having the vocabulary to describe their abuse as it’s happening in real time? It would be so empowering to these poor babies. Abuse occurs because of a power differential. Share this and level the playing field!
These videos need to be included in Sunday Morning worship services Across AMERICA
Agree
I agree. Blessings🙏 At some point early on in childhood however the children of abuse who are naturally prone to it, become the abusers themselves and so it goes on and on and on. There's actually no one person to blame in this. It's an ongoing human condition that's been in play since the beginning. A true knowledge and love of God (within) and loving our neighbors as ourselves would maybe be a good place to start our individual transformation.
So right. It would stop or reduce the effect of the ego trips that go in the school dynamics. It will actually raise the ones feeling less for whatever reason and temper the ones who seem having it together. The effects of the clicks and the bullies may be reduced if not eliminated-too much to ask.
People have abused me all my life and now everyone criticizes me that I'm "negative." people don't usually develop a sunny disposition from decades of abuse. So this is a catch 22 it seems.
same~ or i get pegged as " playing a victim". Most people cant handle anyone who has actually been through decades of trauma. We are loner's.
Same however I'm an extremely Positive loving caring Empowered Lady ❤
...
❤ God Loves You 😇 😇 😇 ❤
@@sheiladuke3289but “God” allowed all that to happen? Doesn’t make sense at all.
@@rockstarofredondoI understand your feelings on that. I was there too. One day I was thinking about this and this thought came to mind. God creates us to follow our own free will. It’s not that God allowed. God sat there and saw the trauma and cried. He is there with us, burdened and sad that people can do awful things to others. He didn’t leave you, he can’t stop people from doing terrible things, especially when they don’t give themselves to God.
Tim is so knowledgeable about trauma and shame. I feel like he's teaching me a PhD on these subjects.
At last someone who definitely knows what he's talking about. This guy is extremely intelligent and detailed. Glad that he's giving this great presentation.
This man is a genius. He can talk for hours, no notes, no podium wow
❤
This brings my whole life full circle. Its makes so much sense. Its too bad a very small percentage are self aware, the majority of people will never wake up to this. So powerful.
I live in a constant state of shame. Seventy one years old, and it still grabs me by the throat and shakes me hard.
Wow - and thanks for sharing this! How is this for you hearing all this? And is this new Information for you?
And what do you recommend all the younger ones on their journey?
I am 54 now and since 17 years on this journey - but i never heard all this so crystal clearly broken down by someone. And I am still deep in shame
And for me C.Jung gave the best advice - Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
Our whole society is uniquely build on shame! One must be very brave or deep in pain to consciously step out of this crazyness
I recognize so many people from these descriptions. So sad that they don't have a clue. I wish this was presented to every high school class in the world.
Me too. I have deep shame and insecurities which I feel I am aware of (the anxiety is undeniable). My dad tells many bizarre stories which make me feel he is totally unaware. Like a story he has retold over the decades, how my mum could have been with an amazing guy but somehow she chose his insignificant self, and he tells it very dramatically. It looks so sad. One day my gentle husband quietly responded: "I don't think that's psychologically very healthy, no one person is worth more than any other." My dad was quite stumped and responded with: "Can't you just leave me with my fantasy?" He seams to enjoy such stories which make people around him wince.
I wish I had heard this information when I was in high school. I could have dealt with my pain at 17 instead of 67. I graduated from H. S. in June 1974.🤔
@@joanfolds476don’t we all! ❤❤
So deep. So incredibly deep. Its so great to be able to listen to stuff about childhood trauma and actually be able to listen instead of getting triggered by trauma and escaping into fantasy and thoughts the whole time.
This is life-saving material. Thank you so much for normalising shame, its effects and the healing required. This video itself reduces feelings of shame.
❤I1
@@AngelaLopez-gf7ks Yes! It helps with being less ashamed of the shame! Most of the time I walk around feeling awful for feeling awful, hearing that it's a natural consequence of a crappy childhood is a great relief.💖
This guy should have millions of views
He probably would if it didn't look like a church service.
(I wish I wasn’t the way I’m) I told my self that sentence for thousands of times in my 25 years of living and I’m so thankful I could change even abit thank you lot sir your videos are extremely helpful ❤
❤Me too there is not much change, but understanding what he is saying brings relief. Somehow feeling less ashamed of being always ashamed, someone saying it is normal if you had a disadvantaged childhood. So grateful for these videos.
I’m all three perfectionist, people pleaser and procrastinator.
"Welcome to getting wrecked with Tim on Friday nite" 😂 appreciate your work kind sir.
😂😂😂
I’m eternally grateful for your support and service!!!! You are helping me understand how at 43 years of being unconscious to who I am today as a human being and addict attempting to get and stay sober as well as deepen my relationship with my Higher Power! Thank you and God bless you and yours!!!!
Are you a cougar or a puma do you still got it lol
@@middleofnowhere1313 video about shame and you're trying to shame me I love it lol
I wish ya well. I love the crossovers between spirituality and psychology.
@@leahflower9924 Cougar for sheezy lol
💗
This is an excellent series. The seven mountains of influence in our society need to hear this entire series.
Aha...now I get it! I had to watch this three
times to experience this! I now understand the core of my shame and will guide it through in how God sees us all. I bring understanding with compassion. Shame has carried so much pain and abuse. It deserves love. It served its purpose and did a great job doing what it could to make me a better person with how it thought it could. Today, I hold it close to my heart and accept a new way to be together - with respect and compassion. I see it now, after the session with my coach, the inner child workshop and now, after hearing your words, Pastor Tim!
What a beautiful moment, what a wonderful experience - thank you for this! Wow
no you dont deserve love, shame is self centered. we deserve wrath and yet God loved us apart from our sins and in compassion died in our place. this should transform our identity to be christ centered. healing is a part of the christian life but we need to be in Christ by repentance and faith in his blood, receiving his mercy justice and compassion
Really dude usung religion as an excuse to be cruel here of all places smh!
I’m grateful to have found you. I connect too much to deep shame and didn’t know I had deep shame. Mind blowing. Mahalo
❤❤😇 😇 ❤
Welcome to "Getting wrecked with Tim on Friday night" 😂 wonderful video!!
🤣
I know what a strange name for a program. I enjoyed it but the name really threw me off.
😂😂@@yomama...isaverynicelady
@@yomama...isaveryniceladythere is a lot of addicts in recovery there. It’s a play on words.. a joke so to speak ❤
@@iBi_uBu Is wrecked an addict slang term or somethin?
Why is hurting/disappointing other people so truly terrifying for me? I would go above and beyond to avoid hurting someone's feelings even if it means to not put up proper boundaries for myself..
I guess you're afraid of being left alone, again. Not giving you the chance to learn that people won't really respect you unless you put up borders they can respect, so you'll end up abused and alone instead. I'm not an expert but I have been there and I just had to start start somewhere. People will easily treat you as if you are the problem, even when you just try to develop a spine, but keep at it and you'll learn over time.
A have learned from history as well, especially the Bible as that is unusually honest about how we as people are. Just be aware that the criticism Jesus had for the religious upper classes of his day is equally as valid for a lot of religious leaders today, even when there are exceptions. Psychology and other such things of are useful as well, of course.
My experience with this is that I am not afraid of being rejected in the end but I am afraid of the feelings that might (or might even not) give me.
It is never the thing I am afraid of but the fear of the negative feelings I expect to overwhelm me
For years I focused on the wrong subject - i always tried to overcome my fear of rejection where instead I should/could have focused solelely on the feelings behind it. By this it is still not easy BUT it became a completely different game for me - as it has nothing more to do with the others or the outside but only with me and myself internally - that gave me total different perspective on and a huge motivation as now, I felt empowered just by myself again.
It is never the rejection but what kinds of feelings I tried to avoid - that is the thing I try to focus on now
The step mentioned at 42 mins about stopping it before it progresses is EXTREMELY important and also EXTREMELY difficult. Not impossible, but really hard.
This is so foundational for deep healing. Thank u.❤
These videos have been so informative and it helps to understand what's going on and why we act and feel the ways we do. A point that stood out for me is don't try to be authentic with unsafe people. That makes so much sense. I appreciate Tim sharing his knowledge 🙏
Thank you so much for the work that you do. Your videos have helped me so much in the past few weeks, I have NEVER been able to find any therapist or anyone who is this educated and genuine. I can feel how much you care about helping others and it I am very moved by that. We need more people in the world like you, thank you sir
This has been me my entire life. Its too late for this to help me now
I feel exatraordinary gratitude towards what you do here. It is like the time when Jesus came to a blind man and commend him to see and the man strated to see. I feel just the same listening to you. Crying, overwhelmed, feeling sorry for myself and my kids, sometimes hopeful, but anyway, finally SEEING...
💓
❤😇 😇 😇 ❤
My God...a lot just suddenly clicked. I'm almost in tears...
This is helping me understand myself and my children 😢
This man is literally changing my life! Every single series I listen to, just helps me unwire my brain little by little. It seems like I am not alone, I was never alone what I felt is a real thing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and keep doing this amazing work. We all are sending you best wishes
The best psychology lecture series I've ever seen ❤
These talks are definitely huge eye openers and I believe they are useful to all kind of people.
I feel like scapegoats should be able to sue or get reparations for carrying all the family's pain how are we expected to be normal adults after living a nightmare
@Kali08012 if someone internalizes the scapegoat role well enough it can be debilitating because you take it with you wherever you go and you will start to create new situations where you're playing the role which means you're adult relationships are rocky and easily fall apart your job can be lost because you only feel comfortable when you are negatively targeted and it goes on and on and usually when you have let the scapegoat role become you it's unconscious so it's very hard to undo and don't forget most scapegoats are loyal too so the more loyal they are the more they will be bad because if they are good its a betrayal of the role
@Kali08012 and I know this is a Christian channel but forgiveness has little to do with it
As someone who has been horribly scapegoated by a really fkd up family, no. Anyone can then manipulate a situation to steal the reparations.
I feel sorry even for my mum and dad 😢.
I hope this comment is made with humor from the op. Whoever reads this, I hope no one actually agrees with this mentality.
Tim! I can't thank you enough. I have always been busy growing in my personal growth and healing yet the way and method you explained trauma and shame puts everything into a crystal clear perspective. Listening to you already changed my cognitive understanding and I'm very confident this will transform my life and relationship. So grateful for your work 💚
This series has been so healing and life changing for me at a time when I needed it most, you're truly doing the lord's work 🙏
Incredibly accurate, insightful, and powerful. I'm sure you are helping many thousands of people. Thank you!
I love this so much, these concepts. I def shared these to my two adult babies.
Peace be with you.
Scapegoat here. Distance and healing is my only solution
Yes
Yep.
Just realised my generalised anxiety is …. My inner child crying for connection (as HIMSELF).
Yep, I’m trying to connect with people all the time… as myself (because I could “sort of connect” through my persona).
That criticism from parents, comes from their hidden intentions of possessing you (as they want you to be).
Wow! You just described my previous relationship almost word for word.
One of the best speakers on CPSTD, if not the best. I've learned so much.
Its so tragic. It makes me wonder about my mom because she says she has no sense of self. While i have a very clear sense of self, but was raised on such a way where me being authentic was shameful. I never got the help i needed when i faced a traumatic event my family os very critical of me the person who faced abuse and instead of getting help for it i was neglected. I don't trust anyone not even myself
Wow, this is lot of information about Shame in just one session amazing 👏.
The tools to do something positive to free yourself from built in shame. Messy process but you can reduce triggers and change behaviours. Excellent!❤
I stumbled across this channel a few days ago. They have been eye opening. Right now these videos are my emotional lifeline. Sounds dramatic but its true. Thank you so much for these recordings.
This guy is the answer to all my life questions! And yes…I would love to be a part of a programme to teach that at schools in UK! Thank you and love you Tim! 🫶
Thank you very much for sharing such valuable knowledge about trauma.
hes describing me at age 47, i started this stuff when i was 8 years old
WOW! Another revelation! Thank you Pastor Tim!
I'm very honest with people and I'm still more or less friendless so I show my happy self
Awareness is a great! So are somatic therapies and/or therapy assisted psychedelic approaches so we can heal our minds.
I am slowly working my way through these from the start having come across one from much later in the series. So good & helpful. Thank you.
I am the invisible child
This is real Gold!
God bless you sir!
Thanks @Tim Fletcher.
Your insights have helped me better understand my own thoughts and emotions, as well as those of the people who are important to me but arrogant and abusive.
While the past cannot be changed, it still profoundly has impacted my present and future. Revisiting past experiences and memories helps me better understand myself and the world around me. Through this process, I can uncover the truth and break free from the illusions created by those around me. These illusions come from a variety of sources, such as loved ones who have intentionally or unintentionally misled me, educational institutions and textbooks that have presented a one-sided view of history, movies and other media that might have perpetuated stereotypes, and cultural and religious norms that have restricted my thinking. Additionally, spiritual figures and communities created illusions by promoting certain beliefs and practices that didn't align with my values or beliefs. By examining my past experiences and questioning the illusions presented to me, I can better understand myself and the world around me and move forward with a greater sense of clarity and purpose.
Super important to know. I operated out of shame all my life until I had a psychic change. I drank and used until I was at death's door, thank the Lord I started working on myself odaat!
Thank you!! It is very life changing.❤
As abused children we blame ourselves for the victimhood, only as adults can we see we weren't the bad guy. Working through this right now and hope to be free from this old shame soon its a weighted burden on the soul.
Thank you so much Tim, you really are a wonderful human being.
Well my word .. what an education of how I got where I am ! Grateful to hear all this as difficult as it is . Thank you Sir !
This is the best and most fruitful definition of codependency I every heard
Codependency is how 2 shame based people relate to each other - the dance of 2 people trying to avoid the others pain and at the same time trying to get fullfilled their needs. Without revealing who they really are!
Nailed it and i can 100% to it from all codependent relationships i was in so far. And can see it now perfectly in the relationships of my parents and all my siblings 😮
I love you. I have been doing therapy for years and this puts everything into a structure with such great detail that I can understand
😮😮😮😢😢😢 This is so spot, he is telling my life. Tim is by far the best teacher on trauma and its impact.
Everything you said hits home! Especially the wanting of a child to feel loved, that’s exactly why I prayed and asked for my son, and though he is a major blessing it definitely created more trauma 😢. Thank you for your teachings
I was the scapegoat as a child and again, the scapegoat as an adult going through divorce and child custody, which continues to this day with my adult children still blaming me for things wrong with their life. I feel as though non of my children, or grandchildren(now adults with their own children) really know me at all. I've worn my mask my entire life, and was always in rebellion. I'm 76 years old, I need to find the real authentic me.
I could look at other ppl. And see this, but most I see me… right now that’s what I need.
Thank you Mr. Tim Fletcher for your amazing videos and for sharing your work and knowledge. (Larisa/ Romania)
Yet so many people who should feel shame, don't.
Exactly. Everything is backwards.
To be honest I hate myself. I have fucked up. I haven't taken the responsibility for myself. I have lived my life to serve and help others because that is all I know. Finding a reason to live without doing that I am lost. I love seeing the joy I bring to others in need then for them to become autonomous. But I can't help, become autonomous myself 😢or soothe myself. Without others I'm nothing. What I wrote to myself today is:
If only I were different
I am failing myself every day
I feel like a looser
I'm not good enough
I am not enough
I am a failure of myself
I don't function properly
I have no discipline
I take no responsibility for my life
I don't like myself
I'm not self-sufficient
I am a failure
I have no reason to stay alive
I only exist to help others but I don't live
I hide as much as I can and only come alive when someone needs me
So that's how I feel.
So sorry, it is difficult. Love and courage to you💗. You are not alone, many of us feel like this. One little step of self-love at a time.
@@jmvwegnerpriest Thank you for your encouragement! 🙏 Sending you love and courage 💞💞💞
That’s shame bb, that’s not you! You are valuable & I’m rooting for you ❤️🫶
That's all the things we teach ourselves to die when in REALITY you are worthy just there, you. Forget the world. They survive and go forth. Take your SOUL TO HEART NOW. Hold, nurture and heal.❤
Hola chicos. Started just watching these, then realized how good they are. Went back just to take notes and screen caps!
Every part I am watching I am growing more gratefulness to you giving this life changing information to people for free. Thank you thank you thank you!
OMG...he's been in my head rummaging around! This stuff is freakishly accurate.
I am the perfect child but I am still criticised and abused and that's why I set boundaries Nd also stopped trying to be perfect learning to accept myself and focus on good enough improvement and saying no
Wow… this man is speaking my whole life in his talk. Rude of him to use my life and not ask for consent first 😂
Tremendously helpful, I have been searching for sufficient information for years. You have answered all my questions. Lots of aha moments. Words are not enough to thank you 🙏 ❤🌹
I have lived behind a mask for so long I don't know which part of me is the mask in which part is authentic. Even if I don't need to lie,I feel the need to lie about something. It's like if I tell the truth the world will end.
Thank you, great information that clarifies how we get our needs met from shame mind frame. Some I was aware of but some of it I wasn't. Very well presented. 💖
This is the answer to so many prayers! Thank you!
Now , I understand something I couldn't for 42 years, even reading a lot of psychology couldn't structure so well. I even feel the pain listening to it.
Thank you for these lectures.
Really enjoyed listening to this video on healing shame and intrinsic value-- I know this to be a major issue in my life and this causes me to feel like I want to hide or extremely shameful and blocked/anxious when connecting with people and especially when I get the vibe some won't be accepting and will be judgmental or rejecting if I show my true self or express myself naturally or if I make mistakes and do or say something wrong or that they don't agree with and I can totally agree that this is what happens when we're shame based parented. Really loved to be reminded that despite what I believe about myself or what I have done in the past, I do have intrinsic value just as everyone else and that feels very liberating in itself! Thank you again!
Thank you ❤fantastic video. This will help me brake down some barriers inside my own head stuff.
Thank you. Upon watching many of your videos a release of emotions i didnt even know i was hiding away.
I had to say No to involvement in activities at church...had no family assisting me with my son...with my day to day plus "added tasks". Its not kind to myself to be overextended. I could see the Lack of comsideration related to family, home mgmt. I cd not fulfil the expectations to such a high degree.
This is so true. All of it. It is something I learned through spiritual practice, but always love to hear about psychology cause they describe different parts of the same phenomenons usually.
Thank you for explaining all this so well. Ive caught a couple videos with bible examples at the end. I like how youre making this for everyone because trauma happens to anyone. Im working through my own trauma so it helps to know exactly where my behavior has come from. Now how to fix this after 52 years of carring all this baggage.
This is so powerful and so true !
What i understoof is being a seed size family can be blessing as well , on major realm i aggree with my teacher , what a massive family mass 🎉🎉
Thank you so much for this insight to the trauma that has affected my entire life; since childhood. Thank you and God bless.
how to heal from an entire lifetime of trauma and rage and grief?
I know right
Great video - thank you for all work you are doing
sadness and grief and longing and aching and misery and nostalgia: flood me.
my heart literally physically hurts.
HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?
HOW AND WHY?
he doesn't miss me?
I'm that easy to replace?
I'M THAT EASY TO BE THIS CRUEL TO?
I don't deserve a goodbye nor an explanation?
our connection and friendship wasn't real?
I AM STUCK IN FREEZE (mostly, perpetually).
my heart is so heavy.
the grief; the ache; the longing.
I miss him.
I needed him.
I miss our connection.
HOW THE FUCK COULD HE ACTUALLY REALLY DO THIS TO ME?
One day we're talking all day, every day,
the next, we're complete strangers.
I die inside.
PANIC PANIC PANIC
AND. SO. MUCH. GRIEF!!
I truly die inside.
The pain is unbearable.
I am dizzy with grief.
Truly unimaginable darkness.
DEBILITATING PARALYZING PANIC...
I wish to die.
I have severe PTSD.
the person whom I thought was my best friend,
gave me this PTSD. he raped me. on a soul level.
he viciously brutally violently maliciously raped my soul.
ghosted me. discarded me like garbage. replaced me for another.
(STUPID SICK MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE, HE IS!!)
I feel the PTSD in my body. I am drowning in darkness.
I'm in hell with no escape.
I face every moment of every day:
with utter dread and sheer terror.
so...
as an act of my own free will...
I choose to release and detach all vibrations and frequencies
that do not serve my highest good.
I responsibly cut all cords from all people in my past,
and declare and command their energy to no longer have access
to the sacred parts of my being!
I release and send back their energy to them
with the purest intent.
I call back my energy from their sacred space.
I command this all, for my inner healing and for my inner peace.
IN JESUS' PRECIOUS HOLY MIGHTY POWERFUL NAME, I DECLARE, IT IS SO!
I am embracing the light within my soul.
I forgive therefore I am forgiven.
I love therefore I receive love.
And so it is.
NOTES TO SELF:
- work on yourself
- heal yourself
- purify, release, cleanse, attract
- be independent; fall in love with you
- radiate magical energy
- develop a sense of mystery and safety and astonishment
- visualize wishes fulfilled (COMMAND and FEEL)
- live your life on purpose ❤
- Radical Honesty = EASY (if you're not afraid of losing something)
Thank you Heavenly Father ❤
Thank you Universe ❤
Thank you God❤
Thank you Gurus❤
Thank you Angels❤
Thank you Ancestors ❤
Thank you Divine Spirit ❤
Thank you Mother Earth ❤
Your caring heart and experience and education, is helping people figure out what is going on in their lives not many people with the proper credentials that really care about people with addiction we normally get judged and pushed to the bottom or trash pile I want to thank you so very much for caring and doing what you do I am now almost 60 years old and my whole family has been struggling all of our lives with trying to be the best we can be but there is something that interferes I live in Kentucky and I was wondering if you know how I can get to someone that understands complex trauma in a holistic approach so my family and my self can begin the healing process
Thank you for these videos.
Ooh, d*mn. This has me almost tearing up over here. Give me more of this external validation! Lol
15:00, 16:30, 18:00, 25:40, 36:30, 39:30 (character sensitive to disrespect), 41:00 oppinionated as a strategy, 49:00, 52:40
Thank you so much ❤
There's another source of shame I believe isn't mentioned: The child who doesn't meet their parents expectations, won't take it upon themselves to find out who this child really is, and where the sensitive child is perfectly able to discern that their worried parents find them of little value.
It leads to confusion, and the stunted development that results from always being treated as if you should be someone else doesn't help any either.
Thanks
Tim - you are the absolute Best! 💯. I learn soo much from you. You explain it all soo soo well. It’s a gift you have! Thank you. Thank you! 🙏 ❤
Everybody...and judgements.....yes so me , and lately .
THANK YOU ❤