Hang in there, Kelley! It sounds like a bit of distance might do some good, and if anything it’ll to help your wrist recover. You’re juggling a lot: work, writing, content creation, a long commute, an injury, etc. I hope this funk passes for you soon ❤
I have totally been in the same self-doubt cycle and taking a break helped me so much to reframe my thought process, but it is still definitely a journey where some days are better than others! ❤
Honestly, you sound hella burned out. I've been there and being burned-out genuinely makes you doubt everything and the point of anything I love your honesty and your vibes!
I regularly get consumed with wondering if there's any point in anything, esp my writing and social media. I can't really give any concrete advice because I feel like that myself, but what helps me is being aware of how much joy other people's stories give me, and knowing that I have that same ability for others! seeing you get excited about Yume Kitasei (I also saw her at an event and have been meaning to read the Stardust Grail) and Ana Huang inspires me to one day free others with my authenticity, and I hope you find the self-confidence to keep going with your WIP💞 thank you for sharing your honest doubts and fears; I hope your wrist feels better!
I love how raw this is, Kelley! As a disabled, immunocompromised, queer, Egyptian American writer, I definitely understand where you’re coming from a the expectations of what we should and shouldn’t write. I’m sorry about your wrist pain, but I hope ice and bracing helps! I’m also glad you’re looking to other books for inspiration! It sounds like you have some burn out (I’ve been there), so maybe take a break from novel writing and focus on other projects. No matter what, writing will always be there! You got this! I’m rooting for you and sending you ease! 💜🫶
i love your vlogs so much!! i'm sorry to hear about your wrist pain :( your melancholia is very relatable and i think so many people, not just writers, can resonate with that. i find that i feel that way at least once a month these days and i've learned not to push myself too hard when the feelings get too much. i'm jealous that you live in an area where authors do so many events!! i loved going to book events with you when you were still here in toronto 😭💛
I'm so glad you shared about feeling melancholic and wondering 'what's the point?' about things. I'm feeling quite similar though I know this current bout is related to having started querying this past month and a bit of a rude (while still helpful!) comment about my first page on a critique page in the midst of it. I've had plenty of other bouts of it though and I'm sorry you have to deal with one too. I've personally started to feel a teeny bit better while throwing out ideas for my next WIP and looking up books I'm planning to get soon. And I hope that your bout of it leaves soon! And I get what you mean about how brilliant it is to see a fellow BIPOC author just getting to write whatever and thrive. I feel like all that I'd like to say would make this comment an essay lol, but I get what you mean here too. What a sweet gesture with the train conductor making you a bookmark. I'm wishing you well on the melancholic feelings and I see you
the way you ripped open your book mail is so so real lol I hope you're taking care of yourself, kelley! working, writing, youtube... it's a lot. isn't it funny how far we're willing to go for our dreams? loved the video
Hey! So honestly, typing a lot can give wrist pain.Try getting a w6rist pads and I hope you get well. Self doubt is something very common as we write so yea, don't think too negatively. Try staying positive. Sometimes, we can diagnose that something is wrong with the book. At such times just take a step back and think in a cool mind. I felt like that too, so I ended up leaving 2 of my projects and giving myself time. Feel good, take care of your health and then move forward. All the best!
I normally dont comment on videos even though I should as someone who is trying to start her own authortube channel. I love how authentic you are with your feelings because I believe you are not alone in these feelings. I haven't written more than 40K words since 2019 and i've been writing and re-writing beginning of books and hating my voice and grammar because English isn't my strong suit at all. I struggle with voice to the point where I feel like I don't even understand the concept of Voice and every day I feel like "what's the point of wanting to be an author if my skills aren't at a normal college level skill when it comes to writing." The reason why I keep writing is because I haven't found a story that I want to read or watch. For example I watch a lot of anime and I want to write a bad a** female Isekai protag that also has a reverse heram going on because I don't see that much in the Fantasy Genera. Characters live in my head rent free and if i want some weight lifted off my shoulders I have to write these stories. THIS is why I KEEP writing. I write because I am curious about the outcome of my characters. I stopped carring about publication and if people will think my writing is horrible because I know it is. English isn't my first language grammer wise. I learned ASL growing up so it took years to attempt to fix my ASL grammar usage.
This video was so soothing and relatable. I especially felt that when you talked about that sense of not-succeeding at things -- maybe it's the turning of the seasons, but I've felt like I don't have my feet under me for the things I want to do. It was kinda validating though hearing that I'm not the only person who struggles with that so I really appreciate the honest and vulnerable thoughts here!
Kelly! Feel you on the wrist pain, I hope it heals soon! I get flare ups every now and then and hate not being able to wrote bc of it. Also I died laughing so hard at the part of your vlog where you're stone faced and then jamming to music, universal writing experience 😂
the self doubt is so real 🥲 and yesss I’m also currently reading Ana Huang’s Twisted series and I’m on the second book now. She writes a lot about broody dark haired MMCs and I’m here for it haha
Oooh the cafe looks niceee. I really want to start going to more cafe’s to relax and write. I went to one with my sone recently because it’s a cafe and indoor playground for kids so you can work on your projects while your littles play lol it was nice but you have to book the play sessions so I’ll only go to that one occasionally
it's okay, kelley. i'm also having some issues. i have issues with categorizing it into a genre. is it horror? is it thriller? is it both? all i know is that i'm writing a disgusting and vile book (intended as such) and that's good enough hahaha. just remember that we're only human after all and that the best things take time. also i had just achieved 20k. it is such a surreal feeling. it might not seem much to others but it is a huge milestone to me 🎉🎉🎉🎉 all the best to you, to us and to everyone who is a writer by hand and by heart. ❤
I also agree that I don't understand how people put their first ever book out into the world. I feel like you need at least one longer length project to be bad at writing to learn the process.
18:34 If it were me, what would happen is that I would keep coming up with reasons not to go, before getting a random sense of impulsiveness, and then just buying the tickets at the last minute and YOLOing it. Maybe get a friend to come along as an extra incentive not to bail out. Haha 22:53-23:11 Best montage ever, btw.
I felt really off and weird and not present during the 3 or so days of the lunar eclipse - change of energy in the air maybe? Maybe this has something to do with why you felt so melancholy and not in the mood . I hope you're doing OK now though ❤
Hang in there, Kelley! It sounds like a bit of distance might do some good, and if anything it’ll to help your wrist recover. You’re juggling a lot: work, writing, content creation, a long commute, an injury, etc. I hope this funk passes for you soon ❤
I have totally been in the same self-doubt cycle and taking a break helped me so much to reframe my thought process, but it is still definitely a journey where some days are better than others! ❤
the thumbnail pictures: 🎀💗☁ the thumbnail text: 😵💫🫣😤 hahahaha can't wait to watch this one
Honestly, you sound hella burned out. I've been there and being burned-out genuinely makes you doubt everything and the point of anything
I love your honesty and your vibes!
I regularly get consumed with wondering if there's any point in anything, esp my writing and social media. I can't really give any concrete advice because I feel like that myself, but what helps me is being aware of how much joy other people's stories give me, and knowing that I have that same ability for others! seeing you get excited about Yume Kitasei (I also saw her at an event and have been meaning to read the Stardust Grail) and Ana Huang inspires me to one day free others with my authenticity, and I hope you find the self-confidence to keep going with your WIP💞 thank you for sharing your honest doubts and fears; I hope your wrist feels better!
I love how raw this is, Kelley! As a disabled, immunocompromised, queer, Egyptian American writer, I definitely understand where you’re coming from a the expectations of what we should and shouldn’t write. I’m sorry about your wrist pain, but I hope ice and bracing helps! I’m also glad you’re looking to other books for inspiration! It sounds like you have some burn out (I’ve been there), so maybe take a break from novel writing and focus on other projects. No matter what, writing will always be there! You got this! I’m rooting for you and sending you ease! 💜🫶
i love your vlogs so much!! i'm sorry to hear about your wrist pain :( your melancholia is very relatable and i think so many people, not just writers, can resonate with that. i find that i feel that way at least once a month these days and i've learned not to push myself too hard when the feelings get too much. i'm jealous that you live in an area where authors do so many events!! i loved going to book events with you when you were still here in toronto 😭💛
we love u Kelly🤍✨ tysm for ur hard work, this vlog was so beautiful and raw xx
I'm gonna put this on while I work today, I'm so stoked! Also you look GORGEOUS
I'm so glad you shared about feeling melancholic and wondering 'what's the point?' about things. I'm feeling quite similar though I know this current bout is related to having started querying this past month and a bit of a rude (while still helpful!) comment about my first page on a critique page in the midst of it. I've had plenty of other bouts of it though and I'm sorry you have to deal with one too. I've personally started to feel a teeny bit better while throwing out ideas for my next WIP and looking up books I'm planning to get soon. And I hope that your bout of it leaves soon!
And I get what you mean about how brilliant it is to see a fellow BIPOC author just getting to write whatever and thrive. I feel like all that I'd like to say would make this comment an essay lol, but I get what you mean here too. What a sweet gesture with the train conductor making you a bookmark. I'm wishing you well on the melancholic feelings and I see you
so cool to find a writer from new jersey, i feel like we don't exist sometimes
the way you ripped open your book mail is so so real lol I hope you're taking care of yourself, kelley! working, writing, youtube... it's a lot. isn't it funny how far we're willing to go for our dreams? loved the video
Hey! So honestly, typing a lot can give wrist pain.Try getting a w6rist pads and I hope you get well. Self doubt is something very common as we write so yea, don't think too negatively. Try staying positive.
Sometimes, we can diagnose that something is wrong with the book. At such times just take a step back and think in a cool mind. I felt like that too, so I ended up leaving 2 of my projects and giving myself time. Feel good, take care of your health and then move forward. All the best!
I normally dont comment on videos even though I should as someone who is trying to start her own authortube channel. I love how authentic you are with your feelings because I believe you are not alone in these feelings. I haven't written more than 40K words since 2019 and i've been writing and re-writing beginning of books and hating my voice and grammar because English isn't my strong suit at all. I struggle with voice to the point where I feel like I don't even understand the concept of Voice and every day I feel like "what's the point of wanting to be an author if my skills aren't at a normal college level skill when it comes to writing." The reason why I keep writing is because I haven't found a story that I want to read or watch. For example I watch a lot of anime and I want to write a bad a** female Isekai protag that also has a reverse heram going on because I don't see that much in the Fantasy Genera. Characters live in my head rent free and if i want some weight lifted off my shoulders I have to write these stories. THIS is why I KEEP writing. I write because I am curious about the outcome of my characters. I stopped carring about publication and if people will think my writing is horrible because I know it is. English isn't my first language grammer wise. I learned ASL growing up so it took years to attempt to fix my ASL grammar usage.
This video was so soothing and relatable. I especially felt that when you talked about that sense of not-succeeding at things -- maybe it's the turning of the seasons, but I've felt like I don't have my feet under me for the things I want to do. It was kinda validating though hearing that I'm not the only person who struggles with that so I really appreciate the honest and vulnerable thoughts here!
Ahhhh I feel you on this one
Kelly! Feel you on the wrist pain, I hope it heals soon! I get flare ups every now and then and hate not being able to wrote bc of it. Also I died laughing so hard at the part of your vlog where you're stone faced and then jamming to music, universal writing experience 😂
Thank you for sharing the melancholic and doubtful moments too. I get like that too and it made me feel less alone. 💛
I loved this video! Your honesty is refreshing ❤❤
the self doubt is so real 🥲 and yesss I’m also currently reading Ana Huang’s Twisted series and I’m on the second book now. She writes a lot about broody dark haired MMCs and I’m here for it haha
This vlog is so nice and easy to watch, I really love it and it's making me want to finish my book too! Lots of strength and love from Germany 🫶🏻
Thank you!! I love Germanyyyy I studied abroad there for a month back when I was in undergrad 💖
Oooh the cafe looks niceee. I really want to start going to more cafe’s to relax and write. I went to one with my sone recently because it’s a cafe and indoor playground for kids so you can work on your projects while your littles play lol it was nice but you have to book the play sessions so I’ll only go to that one occasionally
14:00 yup. Have had this before. Multiple times. Still happens.
it's okay, kelley. i'm also having some issues. i have issues with categorizing it into a genre. is it horror? is it thriller? is it both? all i know is that i'm writing a disgusting and vile book (intended as such) and that's good enough hahaha. just remember that we're only human after all and that the best things take time. also i had just achieved 20k. it is such a surreal feeling. it might not seem much to others but it is a huge milestone to me 🎉🎉🎉🎉 all the best to you, to us and to everyone who is a writer by hand and by heart. ❤
I also agree that I don't understand how people put their first ever book out into the world. I feel like you need at least one longer length project to be bad at writing to learn the process.
18:34 If it were me, what would happen is that I would keep coming up with reasons not to go, before getting a random sense of impulsiveness, and then just buying the tickets at the last minute and YOLOing it. Maybe get a friend to come along as an extra incentive not to bail out. Haha
22:53-23:11 Best montage ever, btw.
I felt really off and weird and not present during the 3 or so days of the lunar eclipse - change of energy in the air maybe? Maybe this has something to do with why you felt so melancholy and not in the mood . I hope you're doing OK now though ❤