The hard messy reality of decluttering (things did not go as planned)
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- Опубликовано: 22 сен 2024
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Thanks for keeping comments kind and respectful! I'm off to the park with Samson but will come back to check in. Happy Fall!!✨❤🥳🏡🍂
Hey where is sherriiiiiiiiiii
I hope you had a lovely walk! 🙂
This lovely woman is so indecisive. She’s talking herself in circles. I’m not sure she’s really ready for change.
I feel like giving her a good shake !
Yeah, it seems that way. Some people just aren't organized, nor do they desire to be.
Please help someone who really wants the help.
Sooooo true.
Even with the chase lounge. She wants to put it " on loan " to a friend.
Sister, no one wants to store your stuff for you.
@lealea3364 don't write her off, it can take time. Even seeing these struggles can be instructive for us all. She's been very vulnerable and I respect that.
Bless her, she is terrified of letting anything go. It speaks that she is carrying trauma. I pray she finds the courage somewhere within her to break through this fear, she’s a gorgeous lady and I wish her peace and joy in her life.
Well said.😇
I wonder if trauma also has the opposite effect in people. I've heard of people experiencing a loss or feeling overwhelmed by life and they get rid of a lot. I guess that's possible.
You are so sweet in your response! I get she feels that getting rid of things makes her feel like she has nothing. That’s a clear indication she feels disconnected and unloved. Bless her to feel confident in being alone in the world. Because, ultimately, we’re all on a solo journey.
@@BallroomLilliesandHydrangeas absolutely it does. I had a traumatic experience that ended with me losing over half my possessions. Ever since, I've been neurotic about constant decluttering. The less I have, the less I have to lose.
@@RaeC5280 Thank you for sharing that, RaeC5280. So, you're saying the constant decluttering makes you feel good? I know removing things out of my life that serve no purpose makes me feel happy or in control.
I could see your frustration and it is understandable when someone wants help but is reluctant to let go. You are a wonderful friend!
I would say that girl needs a cleaner, not a declutteler. That's why it was frustrating, the wrong "occupation" dealing with this situation. 🙂
@usagi_t I don't think she needs a cleaner, it's much deeper than that. Her resistance was of the charts, being afraid to be left with nothing, holding on to things that are just wrong for her small home, hoping she'll use them in a future home. That clearly shows some deeper emotional issues. Carla was extremely patient because she could see her friend's struggle. I hope she'll find the way to move beyond whatever is causing her to be stuck.
In a studio, vertical space is your best friend!!
She needs to take advantage of her walls for storage (in addition to having a smaller bed).
Yes!! Ikea besta cabinets can be hung high up for seasonal stuff and acually hug in like the bed area (paige wassels did that in her old apartment for example)
Like others have said, this was frustrating to watch, but at the same time, it was a nice reality check for me. To see someone surrounded by things she doesn't love or need but is keeping for seemingly unimportant reasons (though they're important to her), it made me realize I am doing the same thing and have no right to feel frustrated with her decisions (or lack thereof), and then do the same thing in my own life. This might have not gone as planned, but it was very important to post and let people know this happens, some people have struggles decluttering, and that's okay. We'll get there in time.
I have had items that brought so many negative feelings up but it took a while to let them go - so freeing once I did though! And now I rarely think of those items. I am struggling with a cookbook my Dad gave me because I feel guilty I never cooked him anything from it not because I love the book. So I am going to try and make peace with letting it go by browsing the recipes once more and if I still don't feel inclined to use it then it's really ok to donate it. If I ever see my Dad again I don't believe he will ask why I never made him that pie 😂
This is why I love this channel, because it’s very real and we can feel identity with some of the situations. Yes, at some point I was like. “Don’t you see, all the potential your apartment has if you just let things go” I’m actually very excited to see her space once she’s ready.
Love your comment Kelsey!
I have found the biggest block for me decluttering was letting go of my "fantasy self" where I had a whole life created around the things I owned that I never lived out. Once I was ready to let that go I didn't have less but I had more of what I loved, used and enjoyed!!!❤❤❤❤😊10 wonderful useful things was wayy better than 500 useless ignored items bogging down my space and my mind.
You said it 👏
You hit the nail on the head! I didn't know how to word it so kindly!❤
This is it right here. Yes! 🙌🏼
heck yeah!!!! i could never think to put it that way....i have a few "fantasy self" pieces of clothing...maybe 15 - 20. I just NEVER wear them and they're not even appropriate for my lifestyle and needs right now (or the last 10 years lol) I threw out 6 tops today (actually donated them) so i am not a lost cause yet...
This was a challenge to watch but it points out that decluttering is very much an internal/mental journey. She’s not ready but hopefully will be eventually. Her apartment has so much potential.
We need to remember Gabby is a creative, visual person who reinvents herself for a living. So those clothes pieces are essentially her muse. Some inspire her; a lot don't. So having them around is part of her creative process as an actor. I think having them in a wardrobe separately from her everyday pieces would be so wonderful - she could open the doors for inspiration, but close them for quiet, too. I think that working on the bed (see other comment) and a functional wardrobe will help her remove the items she dislikes and helps her create clarity. You can't get clarity when everything is a mound of jumble.
You mentioned a basement. Can Gabby box up some of her clothes and store them in the basement? Things she doesn't wear but isn't ready to part with. Maybe the basement could be purgatory and after 3-6 months she'll be ready to make a final decision.
PS I suggest separating audition clothes from regular clothes. I'm sure she doesn't need all the clothes she has for auditions. Keep 2-3 outfits for each genre: cool mom, prarie, period piece...
Great idea!
She could use the suitcases to store the clothes she is not sure she wants to get rid of till she does decide!
@@jansmith8021 Great idea! I did something where I turned all my clothes hangers to the back, so the opening of the hanger top part is facing the back of the closet. I put in my calendar to check after 6 months. Whichever clothes hangers are NOT turned the right direction -- indicating I wore the item at least once -- it's getting donated or trashed (if it's not nice enough to donate). That TRULY is helping me see what I'm never wearing -- and no matter how much I love looking at that item -- if it's not worn -- it has to go.
I recently moved from a big farmhouse that I lives in for 32 years to a one bedroom Senior apartmemt and I had to give up alot of my possessions ,it was hard but I pushed through it and now feel so much better with less stuff and having fun coming up with storage ideas for what I did bring with me!
@@jansmith8021. GREAT idea!!!
Moving the chair out made a huge difference to the space! 🎉 So agree that having a vision for what is wanted out of your space is so important for motivation and direction.
In the first Gabby video, I remember commenting she needs a smaller bed and a PAX type wardrobe where that chair is. I remember they put her clothing rack near the door, which was fine, but she has so much stuff that she’s keeping.
Having a vision is huge in changing things. One of my strongest visions for my kitchen was NOTHING on countertops between kitchen use times. That meant really paring down like crazy since not only were cabinets and drawers stuffed, so were the countertops. But we ended up doing it. We made replacements of some things, like a small cheap toaster that is light enough to keep in a lower drawer so it is easy to get out and put back, and donating our large heavy countertop toaster. One set of utensils and dishware for each of us. One glass and one mug each. Donating tons of gadgets and cookware. The kitchen is less emotionally fraught than decisions about clothes though. Great video.
@@daCubanaqt❤❤ I'm a big fan of "starting from zero" in your mind. Picture your place [or a room] completely empty. Then start "filling" it by first using only built in storage [closets, permanent shelving, cabinets, etc.]. Once you've filled those, then move on to stand alone storage and be very specific and keep it to as few pieces and as minimalist as possible.
As soon as Gabi said the chair felt like an energy block it was obvious it was time for it to go. Decluttering is hard, but hopefully once she has some time to enjoy the newly freed up space she will start to feel more ready to embrace change
it really does look like a bulky block
So pleased Gabby was finally ready to accept that the chair was taking up room. Her bed is huge!, She would gain so much more space with a smaller sized bed. It seems like the thought of not being surrounded by unnecessary things/clutter makes Gabby very anxious, bless her. Great job though Carla as always..you did manage to achieve space which is definitely needed. ❤
I agree, maybe a foldout bed could be an idea.
Yes, or there are beds that you can lift up the mattress & frame & the underneath is all storage, or where the base has storage drawers either side & at the end of the bed would be ideal, a double size bed would be fine for her too.
Carla you are so kind and respectful. I really just think she isn’t ready for this and she doesn’t know what she wants or what she needs. She is caught up with her things and how much they cost and the story behind them . Until she is ready to declutter and wants to declutter, no one can “help her”. I think what she wants from you is to help her organize her wardrobe.
Yes! She's in a different head space. I think if she sees her clothes in a way that encourages her, she will be inspired to do a little more digging in other areas and declutter to get that good feeling in other areas of the room too. She's just lacking inspiration to get motivated.❤
WOW ! A great observation and comment. 🤔
This time Carla is spending with her IS helping her. Her brain is actually wired that way at the moment, and I believe Carla's influence will slowly help her. She was clearly feeling frustrated and stuck and that's a good sign. I believe she will have a breakthrough.
Yeah, like all change it’s not easy and it really requires a huge amount of willingness and readiness. Organizing the clothes would be totally possible if there was that extra armoire since Current closet is too tiny for the amount of clothing.❤
Yes, she is falling completely into the sunk cost fallacy. She also needs to stop thrifting for a while, as that contributes to the problem - both the sunk cost problem and the too much stuff/spending problem. She may benefit from a “you bring one thing in, you need to take one (or two) out” deal, which will help combat both the amount of stuff and the amount of spending/thrifting.
This was sooo relatable in my early decluttering days when I just wanted to organize. Good for her building up those muscles to get things out of the space. Scarcity mindset and sentimental obstacles are real challenges. Agreed, smaller bed footprint would allow more living and breathing calm space.
You have made great observations. Thanks. 💚✌
Me too! I sincerely believed I needed to be more organized with the right containers. In reality, I couldn't manage the amount of stuff I owned.
I love when we have return places on this channel. It really shows how much of a process it is to declutter and that it takes time!
Mibs She’s not ready to let things go , equating things with people she’s lost .My heart goes out to her x You were so patient & kind with her . Reassurance that She didn’t need to if she didn’t want to x Big Love Carla ❤
Grief is a real monster. Thanks for this comment.
I loved the realness of your FACE in this one, Carla. So patient & kind but still helping Gabby stay focused. What a gift!
I haven’t watched this all the way through yet, but I just have to say how kind and positive you are. 💕 And you really listen without judgement. That’s hard to do with a situation like this. What a lovely person you are. 🤗 Deb x
Thanks for this comment. 😘
I think fixing the bed situation would start an avalanche of change. It's like the elephant in the room. Get a totally new bed frame with drawers underneath, a new mattress, and new bedding. The change will start the process flowing.
I've seen worse hoarding situations than this, and her just moving furniture out and tidying I can already tell has made a huge difference!
A new smaller mattress and bed frame with drawers underneath would definitely make a world of difference! She is over thinking everything and going in circles! Revamping the whole room will make her life much simpler and more organized!
Oh my goodness. I found this so frustrating to watch. She just wasn’t ready for the help she invited, and really needs. Unfortunately I foresee her space going back. She needs a breakthrough to push her to making the hard but necessary decisions.
Bless you Carla! You were so patient.
You are remarkably patient. You allow her to talk through her reluctance to part with things, reason that she doesn’t wear or like items, and finally donate. You go back to the reason why you are with her and what she truly wants to accomplish. Good video!
You are very kind Carla. She doesn't seem willing or able to make a change but living in such chaos is not good for
Yep. I know people like this and they seem scattered mentally.
Carla, the look on your face when she doesn't want to let things go . . . You're a good friend and very kind to her.
Sometimes you are a decluttering therapist and sometimes you are a listening ear. It’s wonderful that you care so much ❤
I love when you visit/work w/ old friends/previous clients. It's like we're friends too. 😂😂😂
Much love to Gabby and you for meeting her where she's at. It sounds like she really does want a change in her space, but is really struggling with a lot of internal fears, attachments, and guilt. She might just need some more time to work through her feelings and clarify her goals. Good job to you both for the little wins you made!♡
Yes it takes time! Took me many many years and I’m still working on my space which is twice the size ❤.
One thing I noticed is her fear of letting go of things people gave to her, especially lost loved ones. It took me a long time to realize that the person and their love aren't in the things. It made it easier to let go of stuff.
I kept my father’s baptism dress from 1930s and it hangs on the wall. One thing works for me. Some need a memory box.
That space would drive me mad…she is definitely not ready for this!!
Everyone needs a sweet Carla in their lives💗
It's the excess/oversize stuff in the space for me, and not cleaning. Just too much for those small rooms.
Carla you have the patience of jobe , you’re perfect for this job and it’s a gift you have! not just anyone can do this! Ty for what you do!
Beautiful comment. Thanks! 🤗
Job. There's no "e"
Baby steps, Gabby. Baby steps. You are moving in the right direction!
She made a little progress. That's good.
when she threw out the 3 tops i was ecstatic for her!! the burgundy, white and the brown...they were obviously tossers, even to me. i can be slow like that too...i want to throw out 5 bags of stuff but only end up with 1. Some days are like that.
Just a thought for the pieces Gabby describes as "audition clothes." It's easy to see how critical they are for helping to create a character and make a certain impression, but if they aren't clothes Gabby wears IRL, they don't really deserve places of honor in her grab-and-go closet/drawer/armoire. Let them live under the bed. If they are organized carefully in the right containers, they will be useful when needed and not in the way the rest of the time.
I came here to suggest this too. I think she should separate out all the clothes that are for auditions. I was going to suggest putting them in a bin on the shelf with the suitcases, and if possible getting rid of one of the suitcases.
Hmmm…I have a few thoughts here. I live in a 576 sq ft place. Let me see if this helps. When I buy things I too have made purchases that did not work. It took me 4 tries at a dining table, yes 4. Two tries at a sofa. Two tries at a storage closet for clothes. I share my home with my husband. It has taken us 5 years to get it right. It finally feels right. I take up 3 drawers in a dresser and 1/2 of a small closet. I have one thing under the bed and it’s a comforter for cold months in a zip pouch, it could probably fit in a small suitcase instead now that I think of it. I personally don’t think Gabby needs more furniture, I think she would do well using a laundry service to stay on top of the laundry. Referring tasks out is super helpful in a small space. I think the other thing Gabby needs to do is really “define” her style. It sounds like a somewhat “costume” type of wardrobe is where she leans. So maybe dividing up the closet to reflect that might work. Living in the constant chaos of a cluttered space to me seems like Gabby is a SUPER imaginative person whose thoughts are always swirling above and around her. So some grounding needs to happen in her space to balance the energy. The space needs to be styled in healing colors. I thinks tones of greens & blues with some grounding brown and a little yellow. Whatever brings in a sense of feeling the need to “control” less whether it’s stones or something that “releases” that needs to be in place too. All of this after the space is truly organized. Grounding can only happen with a clear space. Peace will come when that happens because you are making the way Gabby. Pull the energy down from your feet (which create the steps in the right direction) all the way up. ☮️ ❤😊
😍
I used to be like her. Afraid to let go. Allowing worry and what ifs to rule my mind. Stuff took over and clouded so much. I was manic with clutter and I hated it. I started letting go a year ago and can say 50% of my stuff is gone and I really don’t miss any of it. The peace of mind and open space has allowed for me to grow in a clear way. I have ENOUGH because I am ENOUGH ☺️I hope she finds her way.
Good for you, I NEED to do the same asap
Hi Carla, Your videos have helped me so much in letting go of the things that were weighing me down over the years and I'm sure Gabby will get there too with your help!
Your suggestions on a wardrobe is spot on. I feel like she needs different categories/sections for her clothing: 1) sentimental (put in the pink Ross luggage) 2. Audition clothing (keep in current closet) 3. Everyday wear (new wardrobe).
If she gets a wardrobe she can easily maximize the sides of them like adding hooks for her dog's leash closest to the door and hooks for necklaces/jewelry on the other side.
I agree that the chaise had to go especially if she didn't want to downsize her bed. I hope Gabby gets more clarity as she continues to declutter 😊
I could see your frustration and it is understandable when someone wants help but is reluctant to let go. You are a wonderful friend! She needs to learn the “container concept” by Dana K. White for sure.
I suggested the same thing!😂
@@Katy_living_simply great minds 😀
Agree 100% on container concept!
Whenever I watch your videos, I declutter. I have watched this episode several times today. It has inspired me to get moving. I have released so many things today! Thank you and Gabby! ❤
Carla, you are very patient. I think Gabby really just wanted a friend over. Making the few changes ye did will definitely help her mindset. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 👏💪👍🙏💐🐶
That was my feeling also...
Thank you Carla for your patience and care with Gabby. Sending positive prayers and love for her decluttering chaos resolution. 🙏🏽❤️
I wonder if separating her audition clothes from her personal clothes will help Gaby. That way she may be able to work out her own style and what she needs to invest in for her capsule wardrobe. She could also use the purple suitcase for sentimental items (even her mom's clothes she won't be wearing) and that way she gets to keep sentimental things and have designated storage for them 💗
Love these ideas!
Visual clutter can be very stressful. Couple of suggestions: 1. sort all clothing in colour order, ie rainbow order, it will look less chaotic. Secondly, put the curtain back on the cupboard to hide clothes, again it will make room more peaceful. Thirdly, store clothes or linen in the big suitcases, then pull them out when you travel and then put them back when you are back, reduces more visual clutter. Next, look into second hand cupboards, or cabinets with doors, they go cheaply, and definitly replace the cluttered open clothing rack. Don't use open shelves In a small flat, it creates more of the loud visual clutter, best to get cabinets with doors or drawers If you want more peaceful energy. Also u could get couple of narrow storage ottomans and fit some clutter inside, and use as seating. Think dual purpose. Think how you could use heights, ie floor to ceiling cabinets are ideal. Wishing u well x
Great suggestions!
The scarcity mindset is overwhelming and paralyzing. 😢
Yes there would be less but it would be less of items that are just hanging in the closet not ever being worn. Or an item on a shelf that will never be used. It’s a difficult question I face too but is that item really doing anything for me other than keeping me from feeling a certain way, which maybe I should face, then move past it. This is a question I’m asking myself too.
I heard this gorgeous question for the purpose of making a choice:
Does this item belong in my empowered, creative future?
I'm having a much easier time to let things go because I know what my empowered, creative future looks like. It is REALISTIC these days because I am incorporating the reality of my current health challenges.
I HAVE A DREAM TO BE FULLY ME.
❤❤❤🎉❤❤❤
If the mom item that shrunk is tossed - what would you be losing? Something damaged and not wearable. The item is not your mom. Take a photo for the memory and toss it - it will free up new space (mentally and physically).
Congratulations to you for your patience cus i would lost it and gave a speech about her way of living
You sound like my mom. ☺
Yeah, the shower curtain did me in. There is only so much space in that tiny place. Carla is a good friend.
You are an AMAZINGLY patient and understanding friend. I admit it; I couldn't work with her. I hope she is able to do some work and be able to make some breakthrough so she can help herself live in a better environment.
She needs someone who deals with hoarders! It’s sad she lives that way! Just listening to her she’s living in a dream world! If she is too tired, and can’t motivate herself, sounds like depression. She really needs mental help. I’m not being mean but, just listening to her, I know she’s unable to help herself. I love Quince! What you chose from them, was perfect!
decluttering opens the gates of opportunity including wealth! I have first hand experience with people around me also! ❤
I felt the same when I was watching Carla's own decluttering video, but I also love how honest your friend is. Being honest and not afraid of what other people might think on the internet. Thanks Carla for posting videos like this.I am truly inspired.
Bless her heart. I felt her anxiety. Sending her good energy and clarity. She deserves a space that brings her peace of mind.
This was rough go watch.. she seems so lost and in need of maybe some therapy. You can tell shes so frustrated with living with so much, yet unwilling to make the changes to ease the stress shes putting herself through. "I feel so bare" and "i feel like im gonna have nothing" are very concerning statements. I feel without the metal healing, she will not be able to help herself. Sending prayers her way, that God will patch up that place in her soul and help her to let go and feel free and at peace. ❤
@@courtneylangworthy5345 Very astute comment. I’m wondering about ADD. She’s all over the place. She’s so lovely and warm. The apartment does reflect her current emotional state. Also sending positive vibes!
@@mohenn22smith27She has the CUTEST apartment, but I agree-it does currently reflect her emotional state. I hope she can get both herself and her apartment at its fullest potential! 😊. She has such a sweet spirit. 😊
The 'scarcity' energy and the feeling of being 'bare' also somewhat reminded me of a similar energy around an eating disorder.
I have cleared out the gargantuan closets I used to have, and I am very close to letting go of anything I won't be wearing again. I got a bit stuck with the reset of my bedroom to be turned into a work space/sleep space. I'm so READY TO RELEASE the clothes I just don't wear. Now I just have to do the drawer by drawer review. I'm going to be so much more free in my mind when I don't have the (very REDUCED) overflow in my way.
Gabi is TALKING about how she feels and she is ASKING FOR HELP.
GREAT INDICATORS for her getting ready to 'move' that energy that trapped her.
Sending gentle hugs to those on this journey. It IS painful. This is what BRAVERY looks like and I am inspired.
❤❤❤
As soon as she started talking , I knew she wasn’t ready for any change. We know her place isn’t too small…She just has too much stuff. Hopefully she’ll realize that one day. Refocusing was a great save!
We agree.
It looked so much better with the new shoe rack, the chair taken out of the room and the dresser turned the other way. Such an improvement!
Omg, I relate to her about the wardrobe, so much of my clothes aren’t “me” but I can’t let them go until I have my “fantasy” replacements first!
I totally relate!
i've kept things for 20 years thinking i would wear them. One was a pearl and applique GAP top that'd be good for someone 40 years younger than me. Another was a pretty camisole with delicate lace and a few rhinestones. Never wore it !!! Ah..the fantasy.... :/
Oh it’s so hard. She is not alone. We all struggle and her space is so so tiny. I think she has done amazing considering her very small space. Her style is amazing and so full of fun and energy like she is.
I’ve had to do 3 rounds of purging with time in between and I have found it gets easier each time. I love the freedom it brings.
Maybe she can get a bed that lifts and there's storage underneath. She can downsize to a full size bed because of the space.
She's doing a great job decluttering.
Great idea.
Even a queen bed would help a lot!
I have found that when I’m working in a room that’s messy if the bed is made, it becomes a place for sorting. I would find it very difficult to not want to make that bad up and have it looked tidy to begin with so that there was something, that could be gained
Before buying new big furniture, would love to see if she is open to like renting a small uhaul truck for like a weekend to hold things, emptying the room, steam mopping the floors, paint the walls, etc to start with a clean slate. Then she can have a better idea which items she loves to add back in. It might make her feel uplifted and brand new.
I'm decluttering my mom and dad's house one room at a time, everything is sentimental, so it is a struggle, so I feel her.
That’s a great idea. I kind of wanna do that with my place! These little apartments get really banged up when you’ve lived there for a decade, plus!
The ikea wardrobe and possibly the queen ikea bed with drawers underneath would be perfect for the space. She doesn't seem like she would put things away when there is a system in place.
or she would just buy more stuff to fill up the wardrobe and drawers.
Sometimes we want something we’re not quite ready for.
Carla, you're the best, your friendship with Gabby shines through, even in a frustrating situation. Maybe Gabby can fill two of the suitcases, one with audition wear, the other with things she's not sure about decluttering just yet. Storing them would leave her with only the things she actually loves/wears, which she'll probably realize is enough. This will also help give her the confidence to declutter some of what's stored as backup. I love the new shoe rack and laundry basket plus your kind advice and organizing. Also your collaboration with Quince is amazing for great wardrobe upgrades at a reasonable price!
❤ Comment 1 (before watching) I love her space! It just dawned on me that I would personally put a bed where her little office area is and enjoy the room you walk into as a living room/dressing room. There's space for a couch and a clothing rack 😊 Just putting it out there!
Great idea!
Definitely if you get the right bedframe one with storage underneath in that room. It will give her some added hiding places, even if it’s nothing but bedding.
I'm glad to see you challenging her way of thinking - that's how change happens. It's slow, it's hard, but it's worth it.
The sooner Gabby realizes the money she spent is already gone - and that holding onto things you don't want or use doesn't bring it back - the better. It's hard to accept, but doing so helps change the pattern of spending and acquiring things that end up exacerbating the clutter problem, and will ultimately help create a more peaceful, sustainable living environment (something she'd benefit from immensely.)
Great work, Carla.
i was so much like her, kept holding on to everything and had difficulty letting things go. then i found my happiness elsewhere and i was able to clean my space. many items had good but also bad memories attached to them. i thought with letting go of items i was letting go of myself and all memories.
I’m thinking there’s a train of thought to really do a deep declutter to open up space for new things and opportunities. I have been in your friend’s headspace and it’s really an emotional challenge. You’re a really good friend.
During and right after the pandemic I thrifted a lot of clothes. I spent a lot of money on things I didn't end up liking or needing... and then proceeded to keep them in my bedroom for over two years. This past week, I went and consigned some items and I'm donating the rest! I'm so happy to have the items finally off of my to-do list and happy to have gotten some money back on them in the process. She can do it too - she just needs to want it or be sick of them enough to take action! Thanks, Carla!
As a overthinker we find our selfs focus in the details and some times lose track of what is important. I hope she gives the Ikea closet a chance, I know it is not her style, but her quality of life will increase dramatically! That is really the best option. Especially if she uses the top for extra stuff! Hope she gives it a chance ❤
I am so glad that the chest of drawers (with the mirror on top) was moved to the side (i kept calling out 'Flip it around, flip it around!'). The apartment is actually super cute and if it were curated with just the absolutely BEST stuff ONLY, would look amazing! I am hearing mixed messages: a person who wants clarity, peace and positive energy but is not able to see that a mish-mash of possessions is what's holding her back. Gaby, I hope that when you watch this video you realise just how overwhelming our possessions can be. Downsize the bed, buy a second-hand vintage free-standing shallow wardrobe from Marketplace and allow the ensuing free space to guide you. I am confident that it will open doors for you, in more ways than one. Best of luck to you!
Carla, you are a gem and so very patient. 😌
Bless you for your patience with this sweet lady. I like to organize so first thing I would do is make the bed, do the dishes, fold anything out and put in a neat pile. Wipe down all flat surfaces. Straighten out the closet. Off season clothes can be stored in the suitcases. Do laundry and vacuum/ wash the floors. Her puppy would feel better too. She can keep her belongings just neaten it up and she would feel better. I’m still decluttering and I can’t explain why I can’t let go of some things🤷♀️myself. My kids won’t want anything when I’m gone.
I need a running start …my weekends are when I have time to clean/organize/declutter, the work week is when I try to make a plan, a REALISTIC plan. I know myself much better now, I try not to have great expectations. Small chunks, sometimes they’re bite sized pieces but I take them as a win.
Gabby might just be needing to work in the small bite sized pieces we saw today. She can do it, I believe in her. ❤️
Her struggle is real. We all struggle with something along the way. No judgement here. One handful at a time, she will get there one day. Go Abby!
Carla you are such a wonderful friend with such a big heart and what seems like unlimited patience!! Gaby is clearly struggling but was brave enough to let go of that chaise. Her mattress seems too large and looks like it’s hanging over the base. It would help if Gaby put a hold on shopping of any kind, no matter how cheap. She would benefit from the 1-in-1-out rule. Thrifting is probably filling some kind of void and her scarcity mindset makes her believe she’ll never find a deal like that again every time she spots a bargain. Her overwhelming amount of clothes are diminishing her quality of life. She deserves a peaceful home. I wish her all the best❤
Respectfully, this client should get therapy first.
I agree she needs therapy she's almost like a hoarder in some way.
I think that would be beneficial too. I hear a lot of self-help language in her answers and think she would benefit from a credentialed professional who is experienced in grief and chronic disorganization. I think Gabby would also benefit from looking into resources by KC Davis (like How to Keep House While Drowning) and Dana White. Gabby’s apartment reminds me of Dana’s container concept; her apartment is a finite container, and as Carla said, the capacity has been exceeded.
I recently switched my queen bed for a double and moved an armoire out of my bedroom. My new bed has storage space under the bed which I didn’t have before. I’m now doing another declutter and organize and feel so good about what I’ve done so far. Sometime down the road I’ll do another declutter/organize session. It’s a work in progress. ❤
Dividing the wardrobe into audition clothes and clothes that are worn every day will help Gabby so much. Having the clothes all mixed up adds to the confusion. Also, separating the maybe clothes with the hook of the hanger hanging in the opposite direction will also help with the decision to keep or donate.
I find categorising helps me in the decluttering process. Rehandling items multiple times can get very overwhelming.
It can be so hard to let things go!
The lovely Gaby has a really tiny apartment, actually she has not at all too much stuff. But the reality is that it is still too much for the space she has, and that makes the situation very, very difficult for her. I feel for her!
I wish she had somewhere another room, a basement, a rented space, where she could keep the things that she does not want to be parted of, but she does not use regularly. And then, maybe in a year or two she can let go more.
Or if not, embrace it and do not let it overwhelm you.
All the best and good luck to you, Gaby, you worked so hard in this process. ❤
And big thanks to Carla! ❤
I see how heavy she is. She is weighed down and suffering. She could be so free. Saying she will have nothing is very telling. The stuff means more to her than having a calm and light space. Maybe the suffering is a comfort 🥺
I think Gabby may have recently lost both of her parents? I know from my own experience that this is a very difficult time for her and she may feel like she's not ready to loose anything else just yet. She needs kindness and grace, which Carla is definitely giving her.
good call moving the lounger out! That made a huge difference! Also moving the dresser at a different angle opened it up even more!
It’s fun to watch decluttering videos where people find the courage to let go of a lot of things, but it’s good to see the real struggle too. She was brave to remove the big lounge chair. Sometimes small steps are the only possible way forward. ❤
I relate so much to Gabby! The creative, woo woo, indecisive, sentimental, distracted woman! I love all of the videos you’ve done with her!
I was thinking IKEA wall unit too! 👍🏾 you are so awesome and patient. Thank you for all you do!!
This was a tough one. I think she should use 2 of the suitcases for storage of audition clothes and sentimental clothes. She will then be able to really see what clothes she has for every day clothes.
She also should see a therapist online or in person to see why she has difficulty letting go of things. There is no shame to seeing a therapist when we are feeling stuck in life.
Congratulations Carla on the increasing number of subscribers
Her apartment is not small....she just needs to work with her hoarding mentality....how can a woman live like that? How do you clean when your stuff is all over the place? Why would she seek for your help if she is not ready for that? She is in complete denial and I am sorry to say but I thimk you know that too because I ve never seen you this upset in your videos...
Shower liners can be laundered in washing machine with hot water, detergent, bleach. Hang back up after it is out of machine. Will almost be as good as new.
You are so Patient
That's what I said! I would've walked in and turned around. Cluttered and unclean spaces cause me to become frazzled. It's like the stuff is coming in on me. 😬
Thank you for showing us the realness of the process. I loved that you didn't edit out yours or Gabby's frustrations... this is real and I can see that you both love and respect each other a lot. Frustration is part of friendship❤
Totally relatable. Thanks for helping and thanks for sharing.
I find it so hard to know what to keep when I have so much and nothing resonates. For some reason, I love my things more when I just have fewer. I think it helps to calm my ADHD. Lotsa love to you gals💞💞
I love her apartment! Its such a vibe!
Maybe she can get Walmart to sponsor her for their memory foam mattress. She definitely could use a smaller bed. And that mattress is unbelievably comfortable.
I think Gabby should categorize and store her audition clothing in her suitcases and in under bed storage. Also could upload pics of every clothing item to a closet app. With a cheap metal king size bed frame from Amazon, she should have plenty of space. Then I would keep the chaise lounges chair at the end of the bed for relaxing, working on laptop, and watching tv. Could face it towards the window if the view is more important than watching tv. Good luck Gabby!! Just keep trying new ways to get everything how you want it. Right now I’m doing the KonMarie method and I’m still in the messy middle but it’s been worth it so far. (PS- hope it’s ok I mentioned another decluttering technique.)
This is how I got over the “I paid money for it thing”… Whether you keep it or get rid of it, the money is gone either way. Keeping it isn’t going to give you your money back. And you’re not getting any use out of it, so let it move on to someone else and you can create your new life without it.
And when it does hurt a little financially, I think it makes it a better lesson to make better financial choices in the future. I learned a lot from it.
Someone said that to me-the money is gone either way-and I quickly snapped out of my frivolous spending habits. 👍🏼.
Even though her apartment is small, it is really cute and I can imagine how amazing it could look if she let go of more of the stuff that doesn't serve her anymore and was then able to find a home for everything. Even just getting everything off the floor and letting go of the big chaise made a positive change. It has to be so draining energetically to have so much stuff around (even just watching this video made ME feel drained) so I hope next time she's able to let go of more and get positive energy flowing thru the space.
Challenging! Getting organized in such a small space is hard. I’d store the suitcases in the basement along with any audition clothes assuming it’s a locked space for her use. New bed situation for sure. Large storage unit with drawers and hanging space. Get rid of the old dresser, rolling clothes rack, add doors to the closet, and paint! It’s dingy and Gabby is vibrant and creative!
How many times have you heard “oh I don’t think I have any clothes to let go of” and then you start going through one by one and low and behold, there are some things they realize they don’t use or need? That what I said when my friend and I went through my closet. I thought maybe one small bag. Pfft, 5 full black garbage bags later… It was difficult to start but wow what a difference it’s made. The container concept by Dana K White also helped me greatly. I’m praying for Gabi to get the clarity she needs to move forward.
Two useful things I've learned from watching a lot of decluttering videos: The money you spent on an item is already gone, but the longer you keep an unwanted or unused item you are still paying for it every day with your space and peace of mind. The other one is that if you aren't using something while you do have it, then the odds are that when it's gone you won't miss it.
I think Gabby talking herself around to letting go of a few more clothing items was good progress. It took me a long time to actually properly let go of things. I don't have a lot of money so I didn't want to let go of things I could possibly use in the future, but I live in one room with all of my things (books, clothes, craft supplies, etc.) so something had to go. My first steps looked exactly like Gabby's overthinking every item and keeping things I clearly didn't even want. At some point I realized my sanity was worth more than the extra items. I still have too much stuff, but it's so much better and I'm still decluttering. I think Gabby will be able to come around at some point if she can let go of the "what if" and "if only" thoughts that make us keep things we don't want.
I can totally understand her!! Clothing for me is hard too because as she said, capsule wardrobe or better replacements like sometimes it’s not possible money wise or body wise..
Here are my suggestions. I agree with smaller bed with risers so that bins can be stored beneath. She should sell the dresser and mirror and replace with a tall dresser and mound a full length mirror onto the closet door. Beneath the picture, she can fit an "apartment size sofa". I used to own one of these sofas when I lived in a small apartment in NYC. Furniture stores actually have sofas specifically for small apartments. I think money may be an issue with her, maybe that's why she has a hard time letting go. I would suggest she sell items instead of donating. Hang in there, Carla.