Too Late for Swedish Death Cleaning (Decluttering My Parent's Garage - Day One)
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
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Love you guys thanks so much for watching!!
Carla xx
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Man, I wish I lived near you. This is right up my alley.
That would be a DREAM collab ❤️❤️❤️
Mack, your spin kicks need to go west coast! 👊🏻
Just hope on your moose you will be there in no time!
See, Mack, I bet you're really regretting all those moose you spun-kicked right about now, huh? They could have created a moose-and-carriage situation to get you out to California!
How can we make this happen?
I'm in Australia and I wish I could come and help her! My Dads house had mice inside by the end, it was truly truly awful. My last memory of my childhood home was huddling on the laundry step with the family Christmas decorations, waiting to be picked up because it was raining and the moisture just made the mouse dropping smell inside intolerable.
Carla, you do so many declutter with friends sessions, why not have one of your friends be a support buddy for you for a change while you handle this enormous project? You could really benefit from emotional support while tackling this. ❤
That's a great question and very sad. ☹️
This is hard to watch because I've been through it. Also, as a librarian who dealt with donations for a long time, please do not donate those books anywhere. Discard them. Recycle if possible, but sometimes that isn't even an option. Don't feel guilty! Bless you for this.❤
I'm a librarian as well. I know how attached people are to their books, but realistically, if it's not in very good condition or something very special, we don't have space for it either :) Exactly, recycling!
@@nellautumngirl The M6 Toll Road in England is built on old Mills and Boon romance novels!
So true. Libraries need to be full of clean, relevant books.
Putting them out on the edge of the lawn in a box marked free tends to get rid of them. But it depends on the neighborhood. Lots of dogwalkers and other pedestrians around here
Our library takes books to sell in their little shop. They also have a big book sale every year to raise money. Some of our thrift shops take them too. I’ve been getting rid of books as I declutter.
I recommend getting one large Rubbermaid bin for yourself and each of your siblings for sentimental items. Realistically, everything else should probably go. Good luck! This is a huge project.
I was thinking the same thing!
Thats such a great idea!
This is so sad. My mantra is "you can't take it with you." It keeps me from purchasing or retaining stuff.
The car & antique books can definitely be sold!
When my parents passed away I took absolutely nothing out of their home as I am already very blessed and did not need any more stuff. I left it all for my brother, he can do whatever he wants with the stuff.
This is a hard go Carla. It’s not a regular decluttering session - emotions, grief, nostalgia etc. Don’t pressure yourself, take it in manageable chunks and plan food and good friends or family time around it so you are balancing the process ✨
One rule when you are doing this kind of clean up. Slick your hair back in a ponytail or cover your hair with a scarf or something and use a mask. All love ❤️
Baseball hat, and clear glasses that cover your eyes and much of your face, to also protect your eyes from dust and random debris that rains down.
Baby books. My mom wrote in mine the time she dropped me on my head at 3 months. No other notation, just "Dropped Carol on her head at nap time."
Baby books holding all the secrets!
Calendar kept the year I was born - Tuesday: Caitlin was very cranky today. Wednesday: Caitlin was very cranky again.
Haha, mine was: Rolled off changing table. Seems fine. 😂😂😂 How did we survive?!
This gave me a laugh I really needed today. Thank you all for sharing these gems.
I kept screaming; you need a mask! You really can’t donate any of that stuff because it’s been contaminated with rodent droppings.
I’m screaming with you! My husband’s cousin died because of cleaning dressers with rodent droppings!! And she should throw out all papers saved, because of the same reason!
Yes! Hantavirus can be deadly.
Agree.
Me too rat urine and poo so dengerous!!!
She definitely should throw out the papers/photos but I would recommend taking a picture of each them first - that way she could still hold onto them without the fear of getting sick!
My parents are deceased. Hoarders of antiques and collectables. My father passed away last right before covid. 3 years i couldnt touch anything. Im finally into the very last corner of stuff. I cant wait to be done by the end of this month. It has been a lot. Then on to my own stuff. Im so tired of stuff.
I moved my mom and dad into my house in November, 2019. I started cleaning out their house a year prior by going through all their papers. They had paperwork dated back to 1980. It took me 6 months, 8 hours every Saturday. My mom at the time was able to help me weed through the paperwork and shred everything they did not need to keep and then I organized the remaining documents in labeled plastic containers. After that I cleaned out my dad's work room. It was 500 square feet piled high with tools, equipment, RC Airplanes and parts and a lot of trash. It took me 6 months, 8 hours every Saturday. I brought sellable items to my house and sold them. Gave money to my dad. At that time my dad had Parkinson's and was not able to control his hands. Then in June, 2021 my parents decided to put house on market. I called my mom an organized hoarder. She had 5 large closets packed, s paced she'd and a packed attic in garage. I spent every Saturday and Sunday 8 hours each day for a month packing all their stuff because my mom refused to let anything go. It took two 26 foot moving trucks to bring furniture and boxes to my house. Half of the furniture came into my house . the other half was stored in my 2 1/2 car garage with all boxes. It took me a year to go through boxes, help my mom decide what to keep, what to sell, what to give away and what to donate. I have never been a person to hold onto things. I declutter on a regular basis. If I haven't used something in a year, it's gone. I don't keep paperwork longer than 7 years except house papers and life insurance papers. I do not want to leave it behind for my children to handle.
Wow, that sounds like a lot of work! I’m sure your parents are very grateful that you were able to help them. I’m glad you are doing all this decluttering while they are still alive and can participate in the process with you.
@jaynecrews2778 My friend, you are a hero! Blessings! 😊🤗
Seriously wow. Respect. That was tough.
The process was much easier with them advising me!
Well done! ⭐️ My in-laws (78 & 82) have paperwork and belongings going back to the 1950s, they refuse to get rid of anything, refuse our help, refuse to downsize - it’s like a heavy weight hanging over us. We respect their wishes, and support their choices, but dread what we will have to deal with eventually. 🥺
That photo of your dad in the air force was just gorgeous. I'd frame that and put it in your house to treasure forever ❤
Wish your sister were there with you , because I love the way you guys work together.
@@nette101 True but her sister seems to have a lot under her roof and still needs help herself .
It might be an eye opening experience too
I’ve started Swedish Death Cleaning this year. I’m 75 and do not want to leave a big mess for my daughter. That will be the best part of her inheritance.
Absolutely!!!
I had to do this 3 years ago after my Mother died, 50 years of stuff, everything randomly shoved all over the house and she never had got rid of anything, it was emotionally and physically so draining and took months. I’m 58 and I’m doing Swedish death cleaning now, no way I’m leaving my daughter with such a terrible task. Good luck Carla, just keep a few things you will use or really cherish. You could always just take a photo of your limbo champion glasses to remember them without physically keeping them.
I'm wondering if getting a huge dumpster will be easier and working your way from the outside in... this way you can pull things out properly, quickly throw out trash and take your time going through the sentimental items while getting fresh air without having to worry about bugs and critters surprising you. 🤔😊
Do you have anyone who can help you so it doesn't seem so overwhelming?
This is exactly what I was thinking! Dumpster in the driveway, and start at the door. Get the big stuff out of the way and into the dumpster first. Then the animals should leave too-at least the bigger ones. 🤮😱🙀And you’ll have an easier time going through the smaller items with space around you.
I second that
Just moved my 88 yo father to assisted living and sorting out his house. My mom passed 16 years ago and he has not decluttered anything of hers, so I'm mourning her all over again. Only now, almost everything has to be trashed because things degraded so much in that time. Elastic on clothes dry rotted, fabric and papers yellowed with age, photos stored improperly so they are fading, yellowing, and tear when you try to remove them from sticky albums. Dad is a pack rat and didn't trash anything deemed "useful" so there were over 100 empty coffee cans stacked in a tower. He kept every grocery bag in the last 16 years. He kept every type of old technology... slide projector, reel to reel, 8 track, cassette players, etc and every gaming console, from pong and atari up to the first nintendo. He had 12 tracphones, 5 rokus, 3 george foreman grills, 4 magic jacks... some of these still in their original packaging. He's been in that house 49 years and its never been remodeled, so everything but the carpet is circa 1973. My brother and I went through and took the things that meant something to us. Neither of us took more than would fit in a couple grocery bags. Then our spouses went to town looking for things of value or things we might have over looked. A dumpster is scheduled for the end of this week and I suspect it will be filled twice with crap from the house I cannot even understand why my dad saved. He kept every manual to every purchase, as well as every receipt. He had payroll and tax info dating back to 1949, paperwork on every car and insurance policy, and every nut, bolt, and screw he ever saw in the last 75 years. Its all disorganized, so amidst the medical bills is his marriage license. Under the silverware tray is a car title to a vehicle he no longer owns. And for the last 5 years he's had delusions that someone is stealing from him so he took to hiding things, both big and small. He hid money in the wall inside an air vent. There was a shoe horn and back scratcher hidden in the tube of a roll of paper towels and deodorant hidden in a shoe box. He kept a list of the things he thought had been stolen, and we are slowly finding them all in the house. Not sure if the story was for attention or the very early stages of dementia. Thankfully his house doesn't have rodents, but its in FL and it does has roaches, especially since with his declining eyesight he couldn't clean up well after himself. I live 600 miles away, and my hubby is spending the entire month down there renovating his house and unfortunately having to make the judgement call on many of the items there. But he and my SIL have the benefit of objectivity and so while they won't know what is sentimental, they will be able to recognize important papers and things of value. You really need to line up help from a non-family member who can catch you when you start to spiral in moments of nostalgia and help you to only keep the things that are important. I don't think I could tackle my dad's house alone, and I while I know you can do hard things, please get help to speed the process, share the heavy lifting and dirty work, and minimize the emotional trauma. And I agree with everyone who said get work gloves, a mask, and start from the driveway. You'll feel infinitely better when you have a dumpster and can get some big stuff out.
I went through a very similiar experience with my dad's house. It's traumatic. I'm sending you and Carla a lot of love and strength ❤❤❤
Wow what a story! I like your idea of a non family member
My dad had dementia and he thought somebody had stolen the cheese and a bag of flour. In the meantime nobody had stolen any money or my mom's purse. Amazing. I tried to reason with him but couldn't he didn't understand. My mom could see the logic but for awhile even her was wondering about the missing cheese!! My dad wanted to stay up all nigh with his shotgun to catch the thief!
Fortunately he didn't. We installed a camera and there was no thief, only my dad and mom going about the property.
@@chapman1569 Oh honey, I feel this so much! My dad had this elaborate story that the guy he bought the house from *40+ years prior* was a locksmith and he could gain access with a bump key. "Sticky Fingers" never took anything of value, just everyday items to inconvenience him or things that might be sentimental. First he installed unmonitored cameras, but those weren't good enough. He installed a full monitored security system, then supposedly saw on tv where people could get some device off Amazon that could override the base unit of any security system, so of course the locksmith would have one of them! I asked how the thief knew when he was gone since at 80+ he hardly left the house but for the doctor. First he blamed the appt card on the refrigerator, then declared he still had friends on the street that would tip him off when the house was empty. ***I found the previous owner's name, and then found his obituary***, and told my dad he was dead, hoping it would end there. Nope, said his son took over the business. I'm like the son had no grudge against you! Oh, but the son was honoring his dad with the thefts 🤦♀ Through all of this he wasn't calling the cops, which I would point out. If I had an intruder, I'd involve the police. For years, we thought it was all for attention, but I only recently learned it is an early sign of dementia. Its been at least 10 years of Sticky Fingers stories, but getting him into assisted living has finally stopped the shenanigans. While there were times the whole thing gave the family a good laugh, it was more often a source of stress and annoyance over the last decade and it made people not want to be around him, which is sad. And the amount of time and money wasted try to thwart Sticky Fingers is sad too. And no logic would ever sink in. Near the end before he moved he said he realized it didn't make any sense and he was starting to question his own sanity. When we found some of the "stolen" stuff in the house after he moved, I brought him one of the items, a serving ladle from a very old set of serving utensils. Something that couldn't have been bought in a store. He recognized it immediately but instead of being excited it was found, he just accused Sticky of hiding it from him all these years. No, my dad took the ladle and a few other utensils off the hooks to hang things that were more useful to him. He put them in the hutch, because that would be where he would look for them if needed. But he forgot he did it, so 16 years later they "must've been stolen". Now every inch of his house has to be thoroughly search before stuff is thrown out or donated. And every ac vent has to be checked. Also found stuff hidden above a floating ceiling. *sigh* Its overwhelming and I'm relieved that we have 4 of us working together on this! Thank you for making us feel less alone in this though cause I honestly felt like we were the only ones dealing with something like this!
@@suzanneroelofse5970 Thanks sweetie! I tell ya, the up side of this is that its helping me Swedish Death Clean my own house so I don't leave this kind of mess to my son to clean up!!!
"I love to declutter I just don't want bugs falling on my head." I mean, seems perfectly reasonable. Bless. I shared this video with my patrons because it demonstrates so clearly what can happen to priceless family memories. Such a great video - thank you for making it.
Thanks for sharing!!💖💖
This is a huge undertaking for one person. Sending you many hugs and good vibes. One suggestion I thought for next time is have a tote ready for
Any photos or memorabilia and put that in the tote to go through later when you are ready to tackle it. That way you won’t get pulled into looking at sentimental items until you decide you are ready. You are doing awesome Carla!
Great suggestion!💖
i wish i lived in LA so i could sit w u and hand u iced coffees and play w Samson so u didnt have to be alone doing this. My mother was a hoarder. I have prob moved her about 10 times in the last 15 years. My sis was the keeper of all the mom things but she just downsized and now i am the keeper. I have all her old records, the photos, my mothers art (which i am framing and displaying all over my house)her 50 years of journals. When she left independent living many years ago i had to go to NH alone, stay in a hotel (because her home was too depressing without her in it)and i sorted through all of her things to make sure nothing important to my family got thrown away. I know u prob wont see this but i highly recommend next time you go to bring a buddy, your family, anybody w u to support u. This is hard hard stuff. ty for sharing this journey, i can see from the comments many people can relate
Yes, I so relate to this. When I did the big Declutter in 2019 I stayed in the house but this time I can’t even spend a single night there. So I’ll just drive back-and-forth. Better for me to have my own space to come home too.I’ll have to see what friends I can rally to come help❤
@@TheCarlaProject I wish u the very best. U provide so much amazing content for us and helping friends and family u deserve support too!
@@TheCarlaProject Maybe a few of the people you have helped on your channel would be willing to come help you this time? Or if you and Mack ask your viewers, we could pay for plane tickets for him and a helper to come with him and a hotel -- would be an awesome collab video series!!
If something jumps out at me, my soul will leave my body. 🤣 Exactly what would happen to me too!
I hope you never get mice
This is a hard job, I hope you get help. I am 69 and this makes me feel good to know I have worked hard and will not leave a ton of stuff for my kids when I'm gone.
Carla, after quite a few decluttering adventures with your friends, it is an honor to be a witness/accountability buddy for you doing this for your family home.
Maybe set up some critter deterrent systems so they can run away to another place? I've lived through a massive rat invasion. It can be done relatively quickly and not too expensively.
I strongly recommend vinegar and a MASK!!!! Rat & mouse poop for someone with breathing issues are just no bueno!
The music is always beautiful, and so are YOU!!!! ❤❤❤
It seems silly, but check with your local cat rescues. There are a few that will essentially rent out what could be considered barn cats - they'll hunt the rats out and they're spayed or neutered so you aren't increasing the local population. 😊
This one was such a vibe. You cleaning out whats clearly all sentimental stuff with "oh baby its a wild world" falling down in front of you with that beautiful song playing. 😢
Dont forget these videos will catalog what youre seeing so even if you get rid of stuff, you can watch these videos back again! ❤
Wow. Excellent point !
Such a good point!! ❤❤❤
This is why estate sellers are amazing. My dad was overwhelmed dealing with my grandmother's house, and she was not even a hoader. She just lived in it for 50 years. We both walked the house and took what we wanted. Called the estate sellers, and they dealt with everything else. Papers, trash, everything, even her car. They even cleaned the house, so it was ready to be put on the market.
You definitely need a dumpster for immediate garbage one tub for each sibling and keep, donate, or throw out pile
Agreed! I made the same comment about getting a dumpster, but she needs decluttering help if she was to rent one.
I could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice that this was tough for you. What's great is that you are the perfect person for this job! You have all the skills to handle this! Cheering you on!!
Thank
You ❤❤❤
I just went through this with a family member’s house I moved into last year after they passed. The garage looked exactly like your parents’ garage. Even down to the beer steins and wonky homemade wooden storage shelves that we’re definitely made of scrap wood… I’m pretty sure it traumatized me into minimalism lol wishing you the best of luck with this project ❤
Traumatized into minimalism lol I so relate!!
I know that feeling of being overwhelmed with memories of your family members who have passed. If you can I would recommend not doing it alone. Having your family around you makes it more enjoyable bc you get to share those moments and remember the moments together and also create new memories. Makes its less melancholy.
Yes. Let your family help you. Don't feel like it is all on you. Get a dumpster and everyone pitch it in. Love and prayers.
I have found that as I sort through and find photos, albums and other sentimental items that it's easier to place that stuff in a special bin to go through later rather than get side tracked looking through it all. That way I can focus on clearing out the stuff that is a quick and easy decision for me to make and I don't lose my momentum. It's good that you have a game plan with the bulk pickup and dumpster scheduled. I know this is hard and emotionally draining beyond words. You are doing an amazing job.
Make sure you go through all the "random" boxes of stuff one paper at a time. When my grandmother passed away, we found import papers stuffed in boxes with old newspapers and magazines...you don't want to accidentally toss out house/car/insurance/stock paperwork that has been buried in the chaos. My kids give me grief for being hyper-organized, I tell them they'll thank me later. I wish you weren't doing this alone, it's harder when you don't know what someone else might want. Blessings
This! went through this with my grandmas passing too! She had 3 sons but I was like her daughter, my uncles and dad have no attention to detail and don’t care if the stuff just all goes to trash 😔 but my sister and I went through EVERYTHING, every piece of paper …it was current day cvs receipts mixed with vintage photos from the 1950s that would have been lost, cash, gift cards and her kids school papers from 50 years ago 😂 we separated everything by son and for the extended family are currently scanning the photos, no one else would have done it and we would have lost all that family history
You are a good daughter and sister. ❤ Lovely seeing photos of your beautiful parents.
Zone the items. Put similar items together. Yup, collect all the photos. Remember the room you have in your place. Where will that item live? Get other people to help you. You got this!❤
10:05 I heard that sigh from the depths of my soul, been there, my heart goes out to you
I know this is very difficult on a few levels and I’m sending positive vibes your way. Stay hydrated, remember to snack and eat, take plenty of breaks, and when you feel overwhelmed just walk away for awhile. ❤
Oh sweetie! This really spoke to me.❤ I had to clean out my estranged father's apartment by myself when he passed and the entire process changed my life in so many ways. I'm now in the process of caring for my sick and elderly mother as well as slowly removing her things from the house. She has dementia, so she is not missing her items as much, but the process for me is so sad. Take your time and get some help if you need it.
I would’ve take that cabinet home with you, the wooden one with the gold inlay, matches your aesthetic.. it just needs some love.
My sister & I recently cleared out my parents home, barn, shed….etc. It was so very hard. There were so many family pics that we found. They are now stored in my closet, waiting for me to scan them in & share with other family members. Smaller boxes are recommended. Photos are very heavy. Take your time, don’t forget to breathe. ❤ you got this.
Be strong Carla huge emotional task! Know your virtual RUclips fam is here to support you. Sending lots of ❤
I am so touched by this video. I feel your sadness when you had to go through all of your parents memories 😔but I also feel that your Mom is so proud of you to do this decluttering. ❤️
This is exactly what the Swedish term dödstädning, death cleaning, is about. Clearing your home of all the items that were your parents' after they have passed away. The famous book proposes doing your own death cleaning while you're still alive to make sure your children don't have to go through the physical and emotional stress of doing it themselves.
I feel incredibly lucky that my mom is starting this process while still alive and mentally sound. She is 68, and not a hoarder by any means. Still a lot of knicknacks and collections of stuff like books though.
No, Swedish death cleaning means decluttering your own stuff to reduce the burden on your family. Her parents did not do that. Thus the title too late for it.
Carla please be very kind, gentle and patient with yourself doing this monumental task. It will be emotional. I think you need to get more family members to help with this. This RUclips family will be cheering you on too. Take plenty of breaks and stay hydrated. Having a plan for the large pickup items will make a big difference too. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 👏👍💪🙏💐🐕🦺
Oh Carla - my heart goes out to you. I was my parents executor and my mom passed at the beginning wave of COVID.
Please let others help you and think of yourself during this process. I still have nightmares from it - but it was cathartic.
I remember decluttering my mums house after she passed. I did it in stages.
She was a collector of books and a hoarder to some extent.
When she was alive, I made her go through some of the documents, which helped alot. We got rid of more than a tonne of paper.
After she passed, it took me 5 weeks to go through each and every remaining paper and document. 3 weeks to declutter the photographs.
I sold most of the household furniture and cutlery. The rest i gave away.
I donated and gave away alot of the books and her clothes.
It was such an exhausting process, I cried a lot as it was overwhelming, tiring, exhausting, irritable.
Decision fatigue is real!!!
The whole process took at least an year with month long breaks in between.
Swedish death cleaning is important, i tried telling my mum about it, but she wasn't comfortable with it. Which is understandable.
I've become more careful and mindful of the items I now own. Am not a minimalist, but if the item hasn't been used in ages or I've forgotten about it, I get rid of it.
I can say I now spend my money more on experiences than on items I dont need.
Girl, let Jay Leno know about that car. He LOVES classic cars and could bring that sweet baby back to life!
And she could get a chunk of money. It needs to be marketed to the right people.
Or Robert Downey Jr
OMG a collab between Carla and Jay Leno would be amazing! :)
This video made me cry so much because I’m in the same boat as you. We lost my mom 2.5 years ago and she left so much crap for us to deal with. Anytime I start to declutter I instantly become sentimental and shed so many tears. You got this Carla, one trash bag at a time. ❤
Oh Carla! I am so sorry you are having to do all of this. I am sure it’s so difficult. I could sense the pain in your voice.
This is an excellent example for why Swedish death cleaning, or any form of decluttering, is important while you're still able to do it yourself. It's really difficult for kids or other loved ones to have to do this.
My parents sadly died young. Dad in 09 at 51 and Mum in 15 at 54. Mum couldn’t clean out the Garage (her cancer journey started 18 months after Dad died) and Dad was a hoarder of old printing press machines, wood, window frames. My siblings and I couldn’t believe how much stuff was on the property because the house was tidy and usable. We ended up getting two giant metal bins with a tonne capacity each delivered and just went at it throwing everything that we could move ourselves and had A metal buyer come get the printing presses. Death cleaning your parents/family home of 26yrs… was painful and still impacts how I live and what I bring into my home and how I parent my children.
If you can get your siblings in on this journey it could make it much faster and less overwhelming
We went through cleaning out multiple houses when we lost several family members back to back. What wound up being the easiest option was to bin up the sentimental items and slowly purge them while at home. We felt more confident getting rid of more and more each time especially once we could see how much room they took up.
If you don't know where the title to the car is, it could of been in the box you threw out. 🥴 Paperwork is something you definitely have to sort through if there are other documents such as birth certificates, passports, house title, etc. A friend of mine found stocks and bonds that he wasn't even aware that his parents had. I found drawings that my Dad had drawn in his work shed, you just don't know what all is there. It was emotional for my brother, sister and I when we had to clear out my parent's home after my Dad passed away. It was easier for us to be there together so we could take things with us after the sorting. We had 2 large garage sales to clear things so we didn't have to get a large dumpster.
I went through the entire box near the trashcan before throwing it out but it wasn’t in there. I don’t think it’s in the garage, but it’s definitely possible.
@@TheCarlaProjectdon't worry these things always appear when you least expect it. It will find it's way back to you!
So sad and heart breaking that kids have to go through this garbage. TO ALL PARENTS OUT THERE CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!
I agree 100%
Her parents were very selfish to leave this horde ..but with 5 kids, not one went over to help in 40 years?!?
@@magicgemmaster7055you can't help hoarders. If you have hoarder parents and want any semblance of a relationship you cannot mess with their stuff! It's exhausting. Literally watch an episode of Hoarders and how difficult some of those people are then imagine that x2 and that is hoarse parents! I couldn't even get my father to let go of a single mouse chewed random playing card! You can't make your parents, of all people, do anything!
@@magicgemmaster7055it’s quite likely that the parents refused help, or sabotaged efforts to help. After a while, you stop offering because the arguments aren’t worth it.
I’ve been there. It’s devastating. But once it done you are free😃. Play music that makes you happy bring a friend that has no connection to the stuff. Treat yourself to all the things that uplift you. And don’t have your siblings come. Better to save things for them then have them there! You’ve got this. My heart is with you.
When I had to clean out my father's house, I took paper items that had been stored in the basement and put them in a plastic tub with a sturdy lid to go through later. I then took some of the Combat roach traps and put a couple in each bin. It took a while to get back to the papers and felt like they were safer to sort. You could also put in other pest killers (like for silverfish) in the tub. I also sorted the papers outside.
Wow. This is going to be a great series. Be strong.
I had to do this too. I had categories: Recycling, Shred, Donation, Keep, Trash/
Hazardous Waste(all chemicals cleaning/ yard/ paint/ aerosol/ disposed at my city’s hazardous waste center- very important not to put in the trash)
Sentimental items -there will often be a 2nd and 3rd purging going over them more than once over time and slowly being more able to let go and narrow it down to the most important.
Oh my. This takes me back to doing my parents' home of 48 years. My siblings left me to deal with it all which sucked. I love that you went through it all to not miss the treasures.
Cleaning out my parents' home after my parents passed was a big motivator to begin a journey to minimize my own life. I don't want to leave others with that job when I pass. It was so overwhelming. They literally had shelves and shelves of expired food, boxes and boxes of stuff that they never unpacked after moving 20 years earlier, etc.
Aww, I’m so sorry for your losses Carla! I’m a sentimental person, so my suggestions come from that viewpoint.
You’ve made a great start… it’s hard, I had to do this not long ago and boy, it sucks emotionally. The best advice I can give you aligns with what you’ve started:
1. Obvious trash-but don’t let paper fool you, you can find a car title in those piles or home deed etc.
2. Dumpster for big trash or a junk guy who will recycle the metal etc.
3. Labeled bins for usable items, memorabilia, photos etc for siblings to find tokens in.
4. Trash bags, recycle boxes, cleaning supplies.
5. Take your time and take plenty of breaks. ❤
And you can save anything you want-set things aside to think about, we exist in the timelines and memories of our lives. Save plenty to share your journey with your own kids someday to tell your story. ❤️
Excellent advice!
We for sure need to value the family stories/ stories of ancestors to share with the younger generations. Often we're getting on by the time we realise that we want to know/ understand more about our own parents, grandparents ... (Carla has nieces and nephews. )
Decluttering the family home is not an easy task.😢 I went through that difficult journey, you go down memory lane and experience so many emotions. Hang in there Carla you can do this.❤ Sending you hugs and positive vibes from Ontario Canada
You can do this Carla! You’re right not to rush through the sentimental things, make those decisions later. My mom has been gone over 16 years and I still have some boxes stored away. Wish I could display things but the space doesn’t allow it, but I’m still not ready to let go. There’s no harm in waiting. My heart understands your emotions here. ❤
I was just thinking you really need a dumpster & than u said it. If your siblings will be mad they should be there helping. Please wear a mask & gloves @ all times. You got this. All your viewers are here for support 😊❤😊
I totally agree, some of my siblings chose to sit on the sideline and I was on the frontlines and had to make the others help me the cleanout. My sister appeased the side liners of there guilt and sent them there things which was a waste of time.
Cheering you on from San Jose. ❤
I understand your situation. I retired early to move in and take care of my parents. Unfortunately, we couldn't move in fast enough because my mother is a hoarder and wouldn't get rid of things, so Dad passed the month before we moved in. Now I'm just taking care of her. She laughs when she says she's leaving it all for us to clean up when she passes... I'm going to need a couple months vacation after I go through this hoarders mess! 😢
Remember to be kind to yourself. It's not easy to do this. We're all behind you and wish you the best. Love and light to you, sweet lady. ❤
Dad's army picture was really touching. What a treasure❤
Went through similar a couple years ago when we inherited my dad's house. I know how overwhelming it can seem to see the whole space at the outset. I recommend getting as much of the trash out of the way if possible, having more visual space and space to maneuver will help ease the walls-closing-in-on-you feeling. I saved photos/sentimental stuff for last and found a video Benita Larsson did on her channel about going through her Mom's photos to be very helpful. Weirdly, the good side of rodent problems means that so much more stuff is dumpster bound. It sucks but it does make for fewer decisions. Please stay safe, physically and mentally during the process and thank you for your vulnerability in sharing it with us ❤️
Not gonna be able to watch this through … however sending you positive vibes. I’ve got a similar project that I haven’t been able to start. 😢
This is so generous of you to share this with us. Thank you! We all appreciate you.
The only downside I see to tossing boxes of misc paperwork without carefully sifting through is that you said you needed to find the title to that car. If you're pretty sure it's not in the garage, then go for it!
(I went through this same process last year clearing out 30 years worth of packrat doom boxes in my parents' garage. I feel your pain! And yeah, old photos can definitely stir up complicated feelings.)
We need a part 2 carla! Until the garage is done 🎉
I believe there will be quite a few episodes before the garage is cleared. What an unbearably difficult task for her.
Mom in her 90s here...similar circumstances involving collecting and not purging for years. We, the kids, are nervous about it all. The average person moves every--is it 11 years? or is it 7? anyway, she has been in her home for 50. Love your channel. P.S. A mask is always necessary, airborne germs and stuff....keep safe...oh, goggles too...necessary IF rodents.
That's so crazy Carla! My mom had practically that exact blue hard sided toiletry bag w/that exact Jamaica sticker on it from my parents honeymoon to Jamaica circa 1965. That was like seeing a piece of my family's history in your parents garage!! I bet that'll happen again for me & others as you go through this lifetime of your family's things...
Oh wow!
❤❤ Thank you for bringing us along. IDK if I've ever shared this, but especially when you showed your high school pics, I felt nostalgic in my own way because you look almost exactly like my high school best friend. She unfortunately passed away from a drug overdose. High school was when she started. She was sweet, smart, lovely, and fun to be around. She was my Rocker Girl Bestie. RIP Bree. Your videos bring me joy and closure of what it could've been like if things were better for her and I.
I read a suggestion by a professional who said put photos and personal papers aside, remove them from the premises to be gone through when you have time, a heart for it. Then just deal with remainder, which is plenty. My suggestion...wear a scarf or ball cap on your head to protect from yucky anything! I've been working on my parents for nearly 3 years, Mom still living in the house. Hard.
That travel cosmetic case would be great in your closet on top of the dresser with your cosemetics or in your bathroom on that shelving unit with cosmetics in. Thats so great.
Carla ,Thank You for doing this and for showing us all of these steps that you are going through, it's all very real. I think this will help out alot of people that are going through this or to help us to not let it get to this point. We are rooting for you, take it one day at a time.
I ❤ you Carla ! You are my kindred sister!
Have been into the Swedish Death Cleaning for almost 2 years now.
Moving and downsizing helped.
I know it looks overwhelming, but I feel like you should use the tsd method, start with the big wins, like the mattresses and furniture, and put the boxes aside to go through when there’s more room, more prepared (for the emotions).. etc
Awe Carla, I think we all felt this pain watching you barely able to move through this space. It’s a first step and it’s a big one. I lost my Mom in 1987 and all of her children were very close to her. Maybe taking some photos of things you know you can’t store in your home but you still want the memory. Hugs to you in this journey. I hope you can find some help/support to finish this project. If I lived in LA I would come help you dressed in plastic wrap and boots with a mask and hat. 😫 I hate critters. 😂😂😂😂 ❤❤❤❤
I def agree, look through all papers and books even if you trash it all. You never know if money or valuables are hiding!
Seeing this makes me understand that maybe all that cleaning of family house is left me tired and burned out 5 years later and unable to get going on my own stuff. Especially the stuff that came from that house
You can take pictures of sentimental things you want to remember, like those glasses from the holiday inn. Would you ever buy out your siblings and live in your childhood home?
That car looks like one that a collector would quickly buy and restore. I'd definitely find your local car antique collectors group and see if they want to buy it. Provided you don't want to keep it.
You need to call an estate sales company. You may throw away things that are really valuable-they are used to rats, spiders, dirt and dust. This is a chance to make a lot of money! They usually work for a percentage of the total sales. They clean, organize and get rid of the trash. At the end, you are left with an empty and swept clean garage. If you are looking for anything sentimental, tell them what you want to be set aside for you to keep like photos and any documents that look legal like deeds, birth certificates, etc.
I can so relate to what you are doing. I lost both of my parents in 2023. They were married 68 years, both 88 years old. I lost my father first, which was expected, then three months later, my brother and I found my mother, which was such a shock. I was/am the executor for their estate. I’ve had a myriad of emotions while being responsible for all of the endless tasks. Thankfully my family has been a huge help. I am subscribing to your channel and will watch all of your videos. Thank you! ❤
This video was very difficult for me to watch. First because I spent a year helping my mother deal with my father's estate. Second because I relate to the grief the memorabilia brings up. But I think the third reason maybe the most significant.... which was watching Carla in an environment which has live infestation and rat droppings without adequate planning and self-care. Every single time an item is moved in this environment, it creates a lung hazard. Wear. A. Mask.
Agree 100%, Carla please wear a respirator or at the very least a mask. Airborne hantavirus is no joke. And be careful about taking contaminated items home with you.
Also, you might find that a few weeks of dumpster rental is well worth it. Sending you good thoughts from Santa Barbara
I understand from past experience how difficult clearing out a family home can be. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. Hang in there Carla we are all pulling for you. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️
Big hugs Carla! You have been such an inspiration to me with your content. Thank you! My parents are both gone, Mom(55)1998, Dad(83)2022, I'm the only one left, besides two granddaughters and one great granddaughter. I'm slowly getting through. It's hard but you put on your gloves, mask ball cap and tackle it. I believe in you. Maybe some of your siblings, nieces/nephews or friends can pitch in. It is okay if they can't. You got this.
Make a pile of all those photos/documents and get a scanning service to scan all those in! Get yourself a pretty little flash drive so you can still have them digitally. Best of both worlds.
Cleaning out my parents home was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I finished it several years ago but remember the process clearly. You will do it. Give yourself grace. God will provide.
What an undertaking! Sentimental cleaning and clearing out is the hardest kind, and for obvious reasons. There's three labors you're doing, emotional, mental, as well as physical. I tackled my grandparents' house and enormous 3-car garage on my own, and I did get ruthless, lol, but it takes time and a toll.
I was glad to see you set things aside saying "maybe I won't keep but I will decide later." It's a great approach. Because when we're initially confronted with the sentimental items, it's all memory and nostalgia and some guilt, and while you might wind up being able to part with most of it after a thorough reckoning and "goodbye," there's no reason to force yourself to throw things away immediately (or to feel lasting guilt for not holding onto them in the end). We're with you!
Most garages or tire stores will take and recycle old tires, often for a fee. Very few places take old tube televisions anymore--either as electronic donation or for recycling. No one buys tube tvs and there's not a lot that's valuable in them to recyclers. Old books can be recycled, but depending you might need to strip the covers.
This video made me cry. Brought back recent memories of clearing out my late parents house😔buy one good sized Rubbermaid container and fill it up with your memories. Don’t take more than what fits in the one container. I brought lots back from my parents house. I still have to go through it; I keep delaying it, it’s so difficult. 😔💔I hope your dad is doing well in his new place 💕💕I’m trying so hard to declutter my house so my kids don’t have tons to go through. My hubby and I have our parents things and grandparents things but we do use them. We have a box of photos of people we don’t know. We need to have my hubby’s older cousin go through them. Thinking of you Carla💕💕
Carla, this is such a hard road to go down. My Father has been gone 10 years and my Mother 4. Going through their home was so hard, the only way I could do it was have my youngest brother there and together we got through it. It took alot of time but twice a week we met and tackled one room at a time. The problem is my Mother had bins and bins of family photos, 60 years of diaries and tons of other stuff. My brother and I are alot alike and ended up bring home so much of there stuff!!! Four years later I can't bring myself to go through any of it!!! Neither can my brother. Be careful with what you keep because it doesn't get easier least it hasn't for us!!! Best of everything on this journey!! Love you!!❤❤❤
Just finished doing almost an identical project with my parents. All the feels and words.Daunting, overwhelming,emotional…..deal in chunks and get a large truck for dump or dumpster, bring siblings in for specific tasks- it takes organizing- we had trucks for donation, dump,taped names on items and put in specific areas and called people to pick up- if they couldn’t retrieve - we moved on…..hang in there.
Hey Carla,
I found this video very emotional for me, letting go can be so hard.
Please be careful when tossing any paper work before going through it. Amongst the paper work could be the title of the car, for example. I like how after this initial start, you were able to reflect and come up with a plan for how to store and keep and sort, pictures, sentimental items, things for your other family members, etc…
I think the tall cabinet looked very clean when you opened the drawer and could be donated instead of trashed. Furniture in general, unless it becomes wet, can be still be salvageable in my humble opinion. ❤❤❤
I felt like past comments in your videos indicated your father’s situation was changing, and I think like others who watch your channel-I am sending you strength, patience and perseverance. This past week I have been going through over more than 35 years of tax, business and other personal papers of my Dad’s. My dad cannot do any of that on his own at this time so I am filling boxes to take to a local paper shredding company. If my father had passed, I think this process would be easier than taking on a big task and asking him for permission to do things and giving him updates, and I don’t know if you are in a similar situation. I would say check out the Veterans Care and attendance pension program for former military. A non-profit called American Patriot Service Corps supports veterans/their family apply for the benefit which I believe can be up to $2,200/mo, but it has a crazy long application process- one of the many reasons that most veterans or their family don’t get funding (the non profit will help you through the whole process). Just a thought…best of luck cleaning out the garage!❤
Sending love! This is such a difficult job, especially when the memories in the garage are not just yours. Thinking of you.
Dear Carla, You're not sentimental, but I definitely am. I cried while watching you go through your family pictures. I feel like you shouldn't be there by yourself. I love the pic collage your mom made for you. You were a hottie!!! (You still are but you know what I mean) And your homecoming partner, whooowee 😍 You cracked me up when you said you would die if something jumps out at you. I would too lol
I love all animals but don't jump out at me! This was a tough video to watch. Take your time, this project is really going to put your decluttering muscles to the test. I think you have the right to keep as much as you want. ❤ Lety from Chicago ((BIG HUG))
I felt this video in my heart and soul. I hope others will be willing to help you as you have helped so many. If I lived close, I’d help in a heartbeat. ❤
💕 You got this! It is going to feel so good to get it all sorted out after all this time. You look so much like your dad 💕
Really appreciated you sharing this side of your life with us Carla.❤ Not everything or everyone is perfect. So thanks for keeping it real for us. Wishing you the very best. ❤️
I am slowly doing Swedish Death cleaning in my home of 45 years and you have just shown me how important it is from the point of view of kids left after parents die.