Sex is not healthy for everyone. I'm tired of always hearing "well when you can have sex again and experience pleasure you'll know you're healed". Those of us sexually abuse survivors that stand in our power and say I'm healed and healthy and thriving and I don't have sex and don't want to have sex." We are looked at as "being in denial" or "oh I feel sorry for you" or " well let's look at your hormones" and more. We are not looked at as HEALTHY. We must create space that accepts all of the survivors that don't want anything to do with sex (or men in my case) and that's OK. We don't need to be fixed. I spent years feeling bad because I could never get to the point where I wanted anything to do with any kind of sex or kissing. Always was broken still according to the "experts". I decided 7 years ago i am healthy. Given what happened to me, they broke parts permanently. Period. When I accepted that I healed almost instantly on many levels. Lots of trauma work mostly on my own because i could never find a therapist that truly saw me as healthy in the sex department. Others need to hear the message from experts like yourself they are OK if they never want anything to do with sex. That may be the healthiest choice for them.
20:54 the investigator literally put me in an interrogation room for over an hour by myself still in the hospital scrubs, still dirt all over my face, and then walked in said “so there’s some red flags with your story” I’ll never report again, not to the police at least.
I still blame myself for the s. assault that happened to me 6 years ago. I was very drunk and kept falling asleep and did not fight back at all. I blamed myself for being so intoxicated.
It is not your fault! Please don’t blame yourself , I’m sorry that happened to you , I hope you are well and recovering.. I have recently went through a horrible experience and I had a Glass of wine and a drink with the worst person … I blamed myself initially but I know it is not my fault … This person took advantage of my vulnerability and I am not responsible for their disgusting behaviour and neither are you … I fought off as much as I could but my body froze because of fear… Please don t blame yourself and seek help
Sex is not healthy for everyone.
I'm tired of always hearing "well when you can have sex again and experience pleasure you'll know you're healed". Those of us sexually abuse survivors that stand in our power and say I'm healed and healthy and thriving and I don't have sex and don't want to have sex." We are looked at as "being in denial" or "oh I feel sorry for you" or " well let's look at your hormones" and more. We are not looked at as HEALTHY. We must create space that accepts all of the survivors that don't want anything to do with sex (or men in my case) and that's OK. We don't need to be fixed. I spent years feeling bad because I could never get to the point where I wanted anything to do with any kind of sex or kissing. Always was broken still according to the "experts". I decided 7 years ago i am healthy. Given what happened to me, they broke parts permanently. Period. When I accepted that I healed almost instantly on many levels. Lots of trauma work mostly on my own because i could never find a therapist that truly saw me as healthy in the sex department. Others need to hear the message from experts like yourself they are OK if they never want anything to do with sex. That may be the healthiest choice for them.
Thank you ❤
Really appreciate this episode 💜😭
20:54 the investigator literally put me in an interrogation room for over an hour by myself still in the hospital scrubs, still dirt all over my face, and then walked in said “so there’s some red flags with your story” I’ll never report again, not to the police at least.
“Pleasure is our birthright” well damn when you put it that way
I thought it was not bad but it's affected me all my life. I'm 50. Abused at 4.
The trust breaks in others. Not being able to trust anyone.. That piece follows me today. I'm 60.
I still blame myself for the s. assault that happened to me 6 years ago. I was very drunk and kept falling asleep and did not fight back at all. I blamed myself for being so intoxicated.
It is not your fault! Please don’t blame yourself , I’m sorry that happened to you , I hope you are well and recovering.. I have recently went through a horrible experience and I had a Glass of wine and a drink with the worst person … I blamed myself initially but I know it is not my fault … This person took advantage of my vulnerability and I am not responsible for their disgusting behaviour and neither are you … I fought off as much as I could but my body froze because of fear… Please don t blame yourself and seek help
What if you can’t fully remember what happened? I seem to have blocked out so much 😩
im so glad this was recommended! great podcast :)
Awareness, understanding , behaviour change 8 mins in. 29.53 start to trust your own voice
Survivors have highly sensitive nervous systems, 4 mins.anxiety depression etc. 7 mins in there will be a side effect
I enjoyed this. Wish the negative speak on men hadn’t popped in. But overall, excellent message. Thank you.
This was an amazing show! So important. Definitely needed all of this 🙏🏾🫶🏽