Baby Lydia's Birthstory | Stillborn at 30 Weeks

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  • Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 312

  • @1bzymom.Of2Kids
    @1bzymom.Of2Kids 11 месяцев назад +19

    I appreciate Danielle's story! If it wasn't bad enough that I blamed myself, my husband and mother also were angry and blamed me. After about 3 years of infertility treatment we finally were expecting. My son was born sleeping at 36 weeks. There were no warning signs. In fact, I had felt him kick just 2 minutes before lying on the ultrasound table. I had low amniotic fluid, so the dr did frequent ultrasounds. This time was different, the ultrasound tech was eerily quiet. She left the room and only said she'd be right back. My OB/Gyn entered the room and put the wand on my belly. He looked up and said, "I'm so sorry there's no heartbeat".
    It was the end of their clinic shift and I had to wait until the next morning.
    I remember going back home to my son's empty nursery that we had a Noah's Ark theme for. His room was completed...we were just waiting to bring him home. I was so mad that I started throwing off his bedding and tipped my baby's crib over. Then I just sat on the floor sobbing. My husband was so cold and indifferent. I stared at my son's torn crib bumper in my hands. All my husband said was, "I can sew that," as he took it from my hands. My husband never grieved with me. He was angry, annoyed, told me that I was overreacting. He kept telling me that I needed to except what happened and move on.
    The next day we arrived at the hospital and they had me waiting in the lounge with all the other pregnant women and their babies. My mom had to ask a receptionist if I could be moved somewhere else. I think it's horrible that we even had to ask!
    The nurse that moved me in another room was cold and annoyed. My mother pulled her aside to ask her to be kind because our baby had passed.
    It felt like forever until I was checked into labor and delivery. When I got there, everyone was really cheerful and acting like my baby was alive. To the point that a nurse started putting the heart monitor on, and I had to tell her my baby passed.
    Apparently my doctor did not pass along the message that I was there to give birth to a baby that would be stillborn.
    As soon as they were informed, the 3 nurses in my room briskly walked out and were having a meeting outside my room which I heard EVERY word of. They could have at least gone to the nurse's station so that I didn’t have to hear them.
    When 2 of the nurses came back their vibe was completely solemn. Both of them explained the breakdown of communication and profusely apologized. I saw the 3rd nurse hang a sign with blue angel wings on the door.
    Christian Tobias was born sleeping at 36 weeks at 6lbs 13oz, 20 inches...big boy! He was born just 2 weeks before my birthday and Christmas 😢 Just before our ultrasound, we had bought him a baby's first Christmas stocking, a santa pull toy that had the tune Santa is Coming to Town, and a Noah's Ark advent calendar. To this day the toy's tune still plays and still brings tears to my eyes.
    My children know that they have a big brother in heaven 💙 He will forever be in my heart and memories

  • @kkdoc7864
    @kkdoc7864 Год назад +42

    As an ER Dr, I’ll never forget the afternoon a 7 month old baby girl came in dx’d with SIDS. She was so perfect, porcelain skin and tiny red eyebrows. I couldn’t take her as a patient even though I was assigned to her because I was too upset. I had a 4 month old little girl at home, an only child, adopted. I don’t know if I could have held up like you did even though I have a strong faith. You didn’t do anything wrong. I always think when our babies and children are taken too soon (in our minds), that God Who knows all things is saving you from a more awful thing happening in the future like maybe a paralyzing accident preceding death, cancer etc (my daughter is now 31 and I still vividly remember that little patient every time I see my “baby”. Thank you so much for having the courage to share precious Lydia with us. It’s hard to write this through tears. May God keep you safe.

    • @megtaylor1027
      @megtaylor1027 8 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you doctor for being a provider to patients who actually cares and has the sense of Faith.
      I’m sure the things you see are absolutely heart breaking sometimes, and God Bless you for all that you do 🙏♥️♥️

    • @lyricusx2900
      @lyricusx2900 4 месяца назад

      A doctor with a heart ❤.

  • @MaryBlair-cu7ry
    @MaryBlair-cu7ry 3 месяца назад +3

    All Lydia knew was love and warmth. She never was hungry,cold,sickness,sadness. Ect. She went to sleep nested safely inside your womb and now she’s with our father in heaven

  • @d3bby943
    @d3bby943 3 года назад +117

    Your story is so similar to mine. I too had a stillborn baby girl in 1998 one week before my due date. I named her Kimberly. The slogan I had for was also written on her grave site. “When I held you in my arms, you were already in the arms of the Lord”.❤️

  • @kathholbrook8588
    @kathholbrook8588 3 года назад +73

    Your story touched me greatly and I so feel your pain. My baby Kirsty was born sleeping at 38 weeks, it was 50 years ago this year (2021) and I never got to see her or touch her which is very sad, but I know she was beautiful. Leaving the hospital without my baby was the hardest thing ever. Our babies born sleeping are tucked away tightly in our hearts forever. Sending you big hugs ❤️xxx

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +2

      That you so much for sharing your little precious Kristy with us.

    • @dianethompson1378
      @dianethompson1378 3 года назад +3

      @@StillAPartofUs it must be hearbraking to lose ababy if ugo on to have other babies thats nice but u never forget the one u lost

    • @givemeahappyending
      @givemeahappyending 2 года назад +3

      I’m so sorry you went through that and so grateful that times have changed. I can’t imagine the pain of not even being able to see your precious child, much less hold her in your arms. There’s nothing like the ache in your arms when your baby isn’t in them. It’s not only emotionally devastating but it’s actually physically painful. 💜

    • @margaretpare8206
      @margaretpare8206 Год назад +6

      I ditto your remarks. My son was born at 42wks, on May 2, 1978. Life was so different then. I never saw my son either. I will love and miss him till the day I die

    • @eileenlocke7877
      @eileenlocke7877 Год назад +2

      I’m so very sorry

  • @dawnbartle123
    @dawnbartle123 6 месяцев назад +6

    I have given birth to two stillborn.
    It’s genuinely the most traumatic moments I have ever gone through.
    My first was Margaret. My second was Naimh.
    I don’t think I ever got over it.
    I had 3 children before, and my rainbow baby after.
    Nothing takes the pain. They are always my children. Much love x

  • @bgipper4109
    @bgipper4109 2 года назад +16

    A mother’s intuition is soooo strong. I don’t know what else to say here.

  • @judyivie4181
    @judyivie4181 Год назад +6

    I truly will pray that your lovely Lydia will always be in your family's life. God bless to the family.

  • @iri5456
    @iri5456 3 года назад +46

    Thank you for sharing your story. My baby was stillborn at 28 weeks. I feel and felt the same ways as you in a lot of ways I related to you in that sense. It was so hard to leave my baby and kept telling him I’m sorry for leaving you. When I visit him at the cemetery I always feel bad for leaving him. Our babies are in heaven and one day we will be together again 🥺❤️

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +3

      Thank you for sharing your experience. It is so hard to say that "we are sorry" for what their future could have been. We will have to wait to see them till when we pass from this mortal life.

  • @lyricusx2900
    @lyricusx2900 4 месяца назад +1

    I'm so sorry. Every hospital needs a cuddle cot. Rest in heaven sweet Lydia. My baby is also in heaven. Beautiful picture of baby Lydia.

  • @Emmydance99
    @Emmydance99 7 месяцев назад +7

    Lost my identical twin girls at 17 weeks. Changed me forever. Have never been able to get past the depression.

  • @AT-uj3rx
    @AT-uj3rx 2 года назад +68

    Just lost my baby boy last week at 38 weeks , I feel for every mother that had to go through it

    • @standup2982
      @standup2982 Год назад +5

      I'm so very sorry for the loss of your baby son.

    • @Elixirfragrance
      @Elixirfragrance Год назад +4

      I’m so sorry for the loss of your son 💙

    • @billieflowers1
      @billieflowers1 Год назад +4

      Oh honey. I'm so sorry

    • @becky73460
      @becky73460 Год назад +2

      Your beautiful little boy is your precious angel now ❤

    • @jeanniecalello1227
      @jeanniecalello1227 Год назад +2

      So sorry for your loss 😢

  • @janjaf844
    @janjaf844 3 года назад +37

    This is so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss she's absolutely precious. I love the little foot ornament, so sweet.

  • @shell2136
    @shell2136 4 месяца назад +1

    You are a courageous mother to share your story of Lydia entering our world! It was raw and I just wanted to hug you tight and assure you that you did not do anything wrong. They say our souls choose to come to the physical world. If this is so, then I also read that if a child is stillborn, the soul has decided they were not ready. Lydia is alive and well in the spirt world and is your angel! She knows you were her mom and she can watch you and your family. You will be reunited again! ❤️🇨🇦

  • @shelleys1790
    @shelleys1790 Год назад +3

    I cannot imagine how a mother can even get beyond something like this. I have had three pregnancies with three healthy babies. After watching this, i cannot even fathom the strength it takes to overcome something so horrible. I know all your little ones are angels watching over you. 🙏

  • @renayconner7171
    @renayconner7171 3 года назад +69

    Praying for everyone who has lost a precious baby,God has them in his arms

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +5

      Thank you.

    • @KYMom23
      @KYMom23 Год назад +1

      Thank you... It's definitely a hard situation to go through 🥺💔

    • @sharonlujan4959
      @sharonlujan4959 Год назад

      Thank you from all us families that has lost an Angel❤

    • @dieuvo2700
      @dieuvo2700 Год назад

      Thank you I lost my identical twin 33 years ago but I still felt like yesterday.😢

  • @rebeccalunsford9372
    @rebeccalunsford9372 3 года назад +13

    To all thoes who have lost their babies I am so sorry. I can't imagine what you have been though. Your strength is amazing. Thank you for sharing your stories.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад

      You are so kind, and thank you for your sweet words.

  • @ebonyrose2280
    @ebonyrose2280 Год назад +3

    Ive never been pregnant and I understand this woman's pain i cried throughout this

  • @pienpakvis6118
    @pienpakvis6118 3 года назад +15

    Heartbreaking story but beautifully told. Very, very sad…Lydia was lucky to be loved by you.She looked exactly like you but also like her Dad. She was perfect. May you see her again in Heaven, one day.💕
    Your children are beautiful, all three of them, gorgeous. Their three names are so beautiful. I am so sorry that your first daughter was gone so soon.

  • @buglove515
    @buglove515 3 года назад +25

    I love the drawing of the whole family with big sister and her angel 😇 wings

  • @bethlouden971
    @bethlouden971 3 года назад +39

    Thank you Danielle for telling us Lydia's story and who she is. I think talking about them is a form of therapy. I know it was for me when I lost my granddaughter. They are someone and they did live therefore we should make them known to others.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +7

      Thank you so much. Talking about our children is a beautiful form of therapy, for we get to remember and we get to share.

    • @kimberlypeterson5197
      @kimberlypeterson5197 3 года назад +1

      I know how you felt and sad cause I had a daughter she was stillborn she weighs 10 pounds 9 oz 22 ins long I can't have any more I almost died having her. I miss my baby girl I name her after my grandma Dorothy Linda Peterson I had her on August 24 1995

    • @kimberlypeterson5197
      @kimberlypeterson5197 3 года назад +2

      I was ready for her to come home but she never did make it home I still cry she was my only one I had her father left me when he found out I was pregnant but I'm glad he did cause he not aloud to be around kids so I moved back to California and found out her dad was locked up cause he was child molester so I'm glad he left me and I am glad I moved back to California then I moved to Arizona

  • @brilliantbutblue
    @brilliantbutblue 3 года назад +9

    Gone but never forgotten, Lydia is so beautiful. Thankyou Danielle for sharing your story with us. 🙏

  • @jamiedecker7853
    @jamiedecker7853 2 года назад +6

    I've been watching these stories and relate to them on so many levels. I had very high risk, complicated pregnancies, and my babies were born with birth defects, but my first baby girl died when she was 3 weeks old to a very severe form of CHD. It's comforting to watch these and to know I'm not alone.

  • @megtaylor1027
    @megtaylor1027 8 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for sharing your story lovely Mama 🩷 I am so sorry for your loss, and am thankful that you have had 2 healthy babies after her 🙏

  • @akishiadeanda6598
    @akishiadeanda6598 2 года назад +4

    from a mom who went through it at 27 weeks I want to send my love .❤ Aiden was my first child and I got my rainbow . I miss him dearly thank you for being brave and posting this

  • @heathersalveson2480
    @heathersalveson2480 2 года назад +2

    Such a precious beautiful baby girl 💗 I am so sorry for your loss. I will never forget your Lydia.

  • @HEIDIBrayInMaine
    @HEIDIBrayInMaine Год назад +1

    I've lost 11 babies all but 2 in the first trimester and the other two were ectopics and that has weighed so heavily on me for so long... I can't begin to imagine what any mama goes through having to labor and delivery a baby they know they can't take home and I just want to sending healing living strengthening supportive vibes and prayers your way... Lydia was a the sweetest tiny human and she is in heaven watching over as every perfect angel does ...

  • @AnnHolloway-i4c
    @AnnHolloway-i4c 3 месяца назад

    I have no words for all of you who have lost a child. There are no word, but I send each and everyone of you love light and a ton of hugs.

  • @lesleymiller8446
    @lesleymiller8446 Год назад +7

    My son and his partner lost their baby at 17 weeks pregnant, they are now expecting again and hopefully all will be ok this time....

  • @cherylsmay5691
    @cherylsmay5691 Год назад +3

    Sooo sorry for your loss!!! Hugs and prayers for all who have lost a baby.
    You have such wonderful pictures to help remember Lydia. She would have been beautiful just like your other two children that God blessed you with! 😢

  • @demoraatz
    @demoraatz 2 года назад +2

    She is SO beautiful!!! Your story made me cry. Wishing you much love, light and strength and peace

  • @alisonfisher9345
    @alisonfisher9345 3 года назад +11

    I lost my baby girl at 25 weeks, that was 40 years ago.I too was so scared to see her and hold her. Never a day goes by without me thinking of her.I have so many regrets. If i could go back i would do things very different. Your Lydia was very beautiful xx

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +1

      Thanks for sharing, and we hope that you are able to find peace with us in hearing these sad stories.

  • @kimandersenjohnson2324
    @kimandersenjohnson2324 3 года назад +8

    Lydia was Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. You have a lovely family. I know Lydia still lives in your heart, and you will rejoice one day when you are together again. 💟✝️🙏🏻

  • @lydialeipprandt3536
    @lydialeipprandt3536 Год назад +7

    Thank you for sharing your story. My name is Lydia and I have a "J" middle initial too (for "June"). Your Lydia was just precious. 🩷 From listening to your story I'm feeling like you and your husband are believers (Christians) and I am as well. I share some of your feelings of loss because in 2015 I had 2 early miscarriages--never got to hold my babies, but I believe that they are in heaven playing with Lydia in a place so beautiful that we just can't imagine it (yet). I was happy to see that you have 2 "rainbow babies." My double rainbow baby (and only girl!) was born 6 weeks early in June of 2016. Although you NEVER forget, God has a way of sending beautiful healing...and heaven is made sweeter because one day those precious babies will welcome us there. Until that day God give us the peace and strength to carry on...resting our hearts in You! Blessings on you today. ❤

    • @karlaparker7988
      @karlaparker7988 Год назад

      What a beautiful message. I am so glad your faith is so strong, our Lord carries us through our troubles in life. I 🙏 for the health care in America it would seem Maternal death and stillbirth is high in America may God do his powerful work in this area. X

  • @milomoore9450
    @milomoore9450 3 года назад +2

    She's still a part of "all" of us. We'll always love her, as we love you and the rest of the family--even though we've never met. We are a universal family. Thank you for sharing her story with us. She 'is' beautiful!
    Ms. M. Moore
    (USA)🇺🇸

  • @francesca1870
    @francesca1870 2 года назад +11

    These stories always get to me. My sons movements were exactly like she described and I worried often about them. There would be large chunks of time where I didn’t feel him at all. No sweet foods or cold things ever got him to move. I did have an anterior placenta and was always told it was normal. My son was born perfectly fine, he did have his cord loosely wrapped around his neck but it wasn’t any big thing. They didn’t even tell me, my husband did. I’ll never understand why some peoples stories end like this and others go like mine. It’s not fair and I feel so bad this family went through this.

  • @candytiger644
    @candytiger644 3 года назад +13

    I am so very sorry, I cried so much when I watched this video. There's no way to reverse what happened, but she is in your hearts and will always be looking upon you.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад

      Thank you so much. It's true that there is no reversing, but we hope that we move forward with love and the ability to help others in a similar situation.

  • @annwarren4171
    @annwarren4171 Год назад +2

    My heart goes out to all parents who have lost their children. My first born son died at 9 weeks and 4 days old of Sudden infant death syndrome on valentines morning. I was put on Strong sedatives for a week. I still think of him 40 years on.

  • @helenfranklin4936
    @helenfranklin4936 2 года назад +3

    What a beautiful little doll. Thank you for sharing. You are a special person. God bless all of you💖

  • @aprilmapp3140
    @aprilmapp3140 2 года назад +2

    It was a very heart felt story. god took her for a reason God bless you.xx

  • @lorenarivas5485
    @lorenarivas5485 Год назад +1

    Am so sorry for your loss😢😢😢 I can not even imagine that kind of pain

  • @danieladevries7991
    @danieladevries7991 3 года назад +8

    I lost my beautiful boy Benjamin at 27 weeks. He was perfect, but not alive. I really understand your pain. Fantastic you have 2 beautiful children. I got my healthy son 15 month later, Jonathan Willem and 2 years after that Adam James. Great boys, I will never forget my Benjamin.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад

      Thank you for sharing your personal story. We are sorry for your loss.

  • @debbiecameron6574
    @debbiecameron6574 2 года назад +5

    I watch some of these videos because I try and picture what my baby brother might have looked like when he was born! His name was John David and he was a full-term baby when he was stillborn on October 13, same day as your beautiful little girl but he was born in 1970 so he would be 58 now! Back then, no one except the father got to see or hold the baby though he didn't have the option to hold him, just look at him! The only reason the dads did was to witness that he had passed away. But it's very difficult when you try and try to picture what he looked like exactly, I wish we all could have seen him and hold him! Thank you for sharing your story and when you mentioned her birth date was the same as my brother, I just felt like I should comment, usually I don't say anything! God bless you and your family.

  • @ravenhoskins3526
    @ravenhoskins3526 3 года назад +9

    Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for your loss! she was beautiful! RIP beautiful Lydia

  • @chrisshowering7357
    @chrisshowering7357 Год назад +1

    Awww my sincerest condolences to you both in your sad loss. I hope Lydia rests in eternal peace and I wish you God's love and strength to you and your family.

  • @johndo7016
    @johndo7016 Год назад +1

    She is so beautiful,so sad for you all.we lost our granddaughter at 36 weeks we were heart broken and then to watch the trauma our daughter went through so the a double heartache ❤❤❤💔😢😢😢

  • @JadaPlant
    @JadaPlant 2 года назад +5

    Praying for your sweet baby. I didn’t have a stillborn but I did lose my baby girl at 21 days old. She was born along with her identical twin sister at 26 weeks her twin spent 127 days in the NICU but losing a child is a pain like no other. 🌸🙏🏼

  • @wendyb6446
    @wendyb6446 2 года назад +1

    When I visited relatives in England a few yrs ago we went to a memorial garden where there was a rememberance for every war fought and another section entitled "Babies Born Sleeping." I thought that was such a beautiful way to describe them instead of "stillborn." Thank you for sharing your story. Parents don't know what to expect or what to do at this time, and have regrets of what they didn't do. I am reminded of one father who had just lost a child asking another how he lived with the loss of his son, to which the other father responded that you never forget, just learn to live with it.

  • @joaniebowers5844
    @joaniebowers5844 3 года назад +2

    Such a beautiful baby. Praying for this family. Bless your baby. May you always carry the love this child brought you even with such heartbreak. I am so sorry.

  • @kathleen9929
    @kathleen9929 3 года назад +7

    Thank you for sharing your story about Lydia. Some of your memories I could share and some of the looking back and the questions you wished you had asked hit home too. It is such a surreal experience when it is happening to you and yet we all can recount each and every moment years later. 46 years for me and I still remember the feeling of no movement and the trip to the hospital to get checked and then the horror of what was happening. I even remember the nurse that helped me. I'm glad that now there are steps in place to keep your baby with you and photos and like you said, there should be a guidebook because you really are not in your right mind to make decisions.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +2

      Thank you for those sweet words and your personal experience. Sometimes the best healing comes from sharing with those who have walked a similar path as our own.

  • @sherij7330
    @sherij7330 3 года назад +12

    I will keep Lydia in my thoughts! She will always be remembered! When you started talking about the time that Lydia was born I looked at my clock on the computer and it was 7:51pm.. Almost the exact time:) Take care

  • @DJNaphoxay
    @DJNaphoxay 3 года назад +6

    Sorry for your loss! I lost my baby boy at 30 weeks too but in March 2020.

  • @ABECEBSC
    @ABECEBSC 8 месяцев назад +2

    I feel like she definitely subconsciously knew and that’s why she was emotional

  • @shelley6746
    @shelley6746 3 года назад +13

    Such a beautiful heartfelt story of Love & Loss💖😪
    Subscribed 10/06/21👍🏼

  • @shannonmurray9117
    @shannonmurray9117 Год назад +1

    Thank You So Much for Your Story. My Momma heart hurts for you. My first born, William Brett died when he was 4 days old of pneumonia. Brett would be 36 years old today. I know how hard that was. I too wished that someone would have told me what to do after he died. We did get to hold him afterwards but thats it. At first they asked me if we wanted to hold him and my first thought was No. But, I am So glad I changed my mind. Looking back, wished so much I would have got a lock of his hair so I could look at and touch later. Also like you said, i didnt think at the time about bathing him or dressing him. I felt like they were waiting to take him. God Bless You and Your Sweet Family and Know we will see Our Sweet Babies One Day Soon and Be together Forever. I know while we are on this Earth, we are selfish and want them here with us but we are human. Its ok. Take Care. ❤

  • @pamelalima1087
    @pamelalima1087 Год назад

    I accidentally came across your story. I’m sorry for your loss. Thankfully, hospitals have come a long way dealing with parents that have experienced such great loss. God bless your family.❤

  • @LorraineMeasor1
    @LorraineMeasor1 Год назад +2

    I lost a baby at 6 1/2 months gestation
    She lived for 4 days. In those days I wasnt able to hold or cuddle her
    She was laid to rest with my parents!

  • @lexismom9341
    @lexismom9341 3 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing your story of love and loss of your beautiful baby Lydia. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. My prayers go out to you, and all families who have gone through infant loss. God bless you.

  • @SpicyLady842
    @SpicyLady842 2 года назад +3

    Love her name; she was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing her story. I know you suffered “mommy guilt” but I’m telling you, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Even if you’d slept on your left side or counted kicks sooner doesn’t mean the outcome would have been different. I am so sorry for your loss. My sister-in-law lost a daughter, Emily, from a cord accident; she was to be induced the following day: I always think how much can change in just a day.

  • @dianejasinski593
    @dianejasinski593 3 года назад +3

    Love the walking dead!! This is the last season, I'm so very very sorry that you lost your baby, thank you for telling your story, Lydia is such a sweet beautiful little Angel 🙏❤

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +2

      I glad that you are able to share with them the love of the tv show "The Walking Dead" and thank you for showing support

  • @lostdreams2737
    @lostdreams2737 2 года назад +3

    I'm unsure how I ended up coming across these videos/stories of people's lives and experiences of still birth. However I've watched a few now and I've cried my eyes out.
    As much as I haven't experienced still birth, I did have a traumatic experience during pregnancy and after my son was born. I'm 43 now and had my son 12 year ago. My 1st and only child. During pregnancy, I wasn't very well. I ended up with obstetric coliastasis (spelling could be wrong) I also became extremely uncomfortable when walking, as it felt like something was putting pressure in my pelvic area on the inside and it was uncomfortable. After GP appointments, it was decided nothing could be done until I had my baby. The day I had my baby, my placenta got stuck so I had to go to theatre to have it manually removed. During this, the surgeon said they had found something inside and wanted to take a biopsy. I agreed and then forgot about it.
    At my 6 week check up, thinking it was just the routine check up after baby being born, I wasn't sure what this appointment entailed as this was my first baby, so I went in and was met with a gynecology oncologist, who introduced himself and he also introduced a woman called Amanda who he stated was a Macmillan Nurse. Well, in the UK, Macmillan is a cancer charity/organisation. Yet I didn't think anything and thought this was routine. As I sat down I was told that after doing a biopsy, I had shocked the maternity ward and the lab who conducted the biopsy as I had s very rare cancer that woukdnt have been picked up through cancer screenings etc. The pregnancy hormone caused the growth to grow quicker and my son, even though wasn't planned, his appearance enabled this cancer to be found. Especially as the placenta got stuck too. My sons star sign is cancer too. He was sent for a reason. Anyway, I had surgery almost instantly and I struggled building a bond in fear of dying and not seeing my son grow. I didn't want to build a bond and then I die and he felt lost. It was a horrible time. I was so sad, scared, confused, feeling of being punished, angry. So many emotions. Wondering what I had done to deserve to be given a beautiful baby in one hand but in thr other hand, feeling like I was being teased....like here is the most precious being in the world but you can't have this experience for long, because you're unworthy. I felt grief. That whole experience was one of hurt and pain rather than joy and happiness.
    Luckily everything worked out well and 12 year later, I'm doing well. But watching these makes me feel like I should have been grateful that my son was born and I should have embraced that......because these families haven't had that opportunity. Yet I did the opposite and I feel guilt even to this day. I wish I had the mindset of.....other people are experiencing worse.....rather than why me. Sound very selfish of me now.
    These women are warriors and are stronger and braver than they probably realise. Much love to each one. May their babies fly high and be remembered for ever and a day.

  • @deanawade5878
    @deanawade5878 3 года назад +3

    love the name Lydia. And I remember that feeling too , of wanting to show off the unliving baby. Your baby from the pictures, was very beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @christinekeough5584
    @christinekeough5584 Год назад +1

    I'm so very sorry for your loss...
    💜🙏🏻💜👼🏼💜🙏🏻💜
    All three of your babies are ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!
    They truly are picture perfect gorgeous sweet precious little angels...💙👼🏼💜
    Blessings to you both Momma and Daddy...
    💜🙏🏻💜👼🏼💜🙏🏻💜

  • @kristineelizabeth1277
    @kristineelizabeth1277 9 месяцев назад +1

    What a Beautiful family... So brave ❤

  • @maryellenblount6376
    @maryellenblount6376 Год назад +3

    Thank you for sharing your story. It was heartbreaking to hear. My thoughts and prayers are with you 🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @judycoulter4556
    @judycoulter4556 3 года назад +3

    What a gorgeous little baby Lydia was. Tfs such a heartbreaking time.

  • @dianecagnole9158
    @dianecagnole9158 Год назад

    I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you.. Thank you for sharing your story, I’m sure you have shared it a hundred times but each time feels like the first…wishing you much love and happiness to you and your family…❤

  • @debbiejackson7218
    @debbiejackson7218 Год назад

    My mum had my sister 1976, she was born early at 7 months. When born the nurse said don't her, then she took her away. My mum never got to see her, then a few hours later. The nurse came in and said baby Jackson was dead and left. She never got to see or touch, or picture nothing. At her funeral she was put in a coffin, with an old lady. They didn't do baby burials on their own then. My heart breaks for my mum. And all you lovely mums and dads who have had a lose x🙏

  • @Sylviamm2
    @Sylviamm2 3 года назад +1

    Heaven gained a beautiful little angel. God bless you and your family.

  • @annsmith4739
    @annsmith4739 2 года назад

    I’m so sorry for your loss,she was beautiful,you will always have her with you god bless Ann uk 🇬🇧🇬🇧❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @alphonserobichaud1278
    @alphonserobichaud1278 3 года назад +1

    Im sorry for your loss of your sweet baby girl. I'm sooo happy God has given you two more sweet children. I believe God will give her back to you and a angel will put her back in your arms when we get to heaven. God bless you.

  • @JaneDoe-ip5yl
    @JaneDoe-ip5yl 2 года назад +2

    These stories are well done. And hopefully make the families feel special and heard🤗

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  2 года назад

      Thank you. We hope that through these stories that the families are able to show their love, and that those who listen know we do love our children who have passed.

  • @rosefrontuto992
    @rosefrontuto992 Год назад +3

    I lost the son he was 6 years old He turned 6 January 29th passed away February First He was a beautiful little boy To this day I just wish he was still here but I wouldn't wish him to be here with what was wrong with him because I knew he was suffering He would be 46 this year I wonder what he would look like and be like He was a very loving little boy I know one day I will see him again And Be able to hold him again and telling him how much I love him❤ I'm so sorry to hear about your little girl She will always be with you like my My son who is always in my heart and will never be forgotten

  • @kyleenwasko4104
    @kyleenwasko4104 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing your story! I'm sorry for your loss!

  • @lucyterrier7905
    @lucyterrier7905 2 года назад +4

    My husband and I were Blessed to have 2 children ( live births), however they were both born with Lyme disease because I was unaware I had it. It explained why our son had headaches & was pegged as ADD by teachers ( even though he was not per 3 doctors). I ended up bed ridden for several years unable to raise our own children during that time. My Mother ( an angel!) Took care of our 2 children until Daddy came home. The kids went through all the treatment, 2 years worth. Today, our children are adults and married & everyone is cured. We are truly blessed.

  • @Wrennie_bird08
    @Wrennie_bird08 3 года назад +13

    I lost my second baby at 20 weeks. The ultra sound tech said the same thing. "There's no heartbeat." Just bluntly. It sucked all the oxygen out of the room. He left, and a few minutes later my obgyn Dr called me in the room. He was gentle, kind, caring, and so far away. This is definitely something that needs to be addressed and there needs to be better standards. I had to wait a whole weekend before I could deliver the baby. It was absolute torture.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +1

      We are so sorry to hear of your loss. The bedside manners of doctors and other hospital staff sometimes is rough. From our own experience with our OBGYN, he didn't really know what to say and that made it just a little hard to connect with him.

    • @melaniewalker5226
      @melaniewalker5226 3 года назад

      I'm sorry for you're loss.

  • @grandmasworld3655
    @grandmasworld3655 2 года назад +5

    So sad, my little sister had a stillborn baby at 7 months of pregnancy it was heartbreaking 💔...so very sorry for your loss and I have always loved the name Lydia...

  • @TheBlondebunny99
    @TheBlondebunny99 2 года назад +2

    God Bless You for sharing your story of your precious daughter ❤️🙏She is the most beautiful perfect little Baby Girl . 🙏You are so strong for sharing and I am so glad you did .Stillbirth is heartbreaking and we never think it will happen to us but sadly it happens a lot more than I want to even think about .I think the more we share the more we can help others .I wish all hospitals had a guidance book for parents who have to go through it as well as cuddle cots .Like you said you didn’t know you could do certain thinks like bathing , dressing and brushing hair.Also what to do after I think a lot of women who have gone through stillbirth will tell you they have regrets. It’s a difficult enough experience to go through without having regret and looking back wishing you had done things differently at the time all because you don’t know what your options are . Most hospitals who do not have any kind of help for this situation tend to be very pushy in getting you to make your mind up on things when you are very tired and are grieving .I don’t think we could ever get it 100% right in hospitals but I do feel in this day and age they should be a lot better than what we have . So for every parent who tells their story it brings us that one step closer to making it better for other couples who go through this awful time . I pray for everyone who has suffered a loss of a baby and for those who will go through the loss .God bless you all my prayers are with you and these beautiful little Angels 👼🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️👼😘😘

  • @sarah29880
    @sarah29880 2 года назад +1

    She was adorable. That story is hard to hear. It felt like the mother is at peace and still looks back at memories of the good times she did get to spend with her. It has to be so hard to deal with all of that at one time with the birth and death :((. Sweet sweet girl, she was perfect💕💕💕

  • @joannedibben2352
    @joannedibben2352 Год назад

    Im am so very sorry about your dear lovley baby what beautifull child there is no doubt it is so hard to lose them my son lived a week you always remember them there just a thought away bless you and your wonderfull family❤❤

  • @joycekelley6362
    @joycekelley6362 3 года назад +1

    That was a very difficult story to hear. I am so sorry for your loss. Your baby daughter is beautiful. Thank you for your courage to talk about it. I am certain your story will help other parents. You have two beautiful children now. Enjoy them every day. Hugs to you.💓🧸💓

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад

      Thank you so much. It does take great courage to share such sad, lovely, heart wrenching, and hopeful events with the whole world.

  • @nancycampbell9554
    @nancycampbell9554 3 года назад +6

    So sad I'm so sorry for your loss I cried my eyes out watching this may God be with you and give you peace and comfort so sorry this happened God bless you so many prayers I can't imagine the hurt i don't know what say but my prayers for you God bless you

  • @NS-lx4hx
    @NS-lx4hx 11 месяцев назад

    😢this womans strength 😢 i dont think enough support and awareness out on many levels .. pregnancy, emotional care, dealing with grieving parents ..

  • @lindawalters4098
    @lindawalters4098 3 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing your story of your beautiful baby Lydia.To lose your first baby must have been so hard.Her brother & sister are lovely children.I know you have regrets about things you wish you had done,that is part of the grieving process & however much you would have done there would always be something to regret💕

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +1

      Thank you for your words of support and comfort.

  • @kathleendobens6648
    @kathleendobens6648 3 года назад +2

    What a beautiful baby!!

  • @elizabethobrien5152
    @elizabethobrien5152 3 года назад +2

    My deepest love and sincere care. With a God Bless you and your family. Elizabeth.Mother grandmother and nfpp.

  • @rhondasneed4683
    @rhondasneed4683 3 года назад +1

    I'm so sorry for your loss may your baby rest in peace

  • @brandijackson9112
    @brandijackson9112 Год назад +1

    My condolences to you and your family RIP Lydia

  • @jernidis3316
    @jernidis3316 Год назад +1

    We lost our babygirl at 27 weeks last November. her name is Fabienne. ❤my heart goes out to all the families who had to go through this.
    We are 15 weeks pregnant now and ITS a Girl......

  • @karenhenry2430
    @karenhenry2430 3 года назад +6

    Bless you both xx she was so beautiful ❤That happened to me, conceiving one month, after taking Angus castus

  • @lizzieturbeville4089
    @lizzieturbeville4089 3 года назад +1

    I have to think of my parents. They had a still born before I was born also. Mom got to hold Sarah just briefly before and Mom has wished she had held her longer. I came along a year later. That has been 44 years ago. I'm so sorry that you had to go through it. Thank you for sharing tho. She was beautiful! I agree, she is with God.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад

      Thank you for sharing your personal story.

  • @joferrell5184
    @joferrell5184 3 года назад +3

    Bless your poor heart, you did nothing it's not anyone's fault. Sometimes things happen and we just don't understand it all.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад

      Thank you for those sweet words of comfort.

  • @veronicat6841
    @veronicat6841 3 года назад +4

    Thank You For Sharing Y’all’s Beautiful (Sad in my eyes) life story. Y’all Are AMAZING ♥️ ♥️ Much Love To Y’all !!
    #LydiaNeverEverForegotten

  • @elizabethobrien5152
    @elizabethobrien5152 3 года назад

    I was deeply touched with your story and beautiful photos of your family and angel. Special. And a beautiful tribute to life and soul unceasing.Always there Always near. Elizabeth.

  • @aijab5129
    @aijab5129 3 года назад

    God, may Your precious angel Lydia be in peace,guarding Your beautiful family from above.What You told, recalled so much of what I experienced, loosing my amazing angel girl in 23 weeks..Sending lots of love and best wishes for You all! ❤❤❤

  • @SaraSilva-py1yz
    @SaraSilva-py1yz 2 года назад +1

    Thank you 💖💖💖 , my baby girl slept in my belly at 29 weeks, her name is Amylia Juliette , I'm so sorry for you pain is the worst pain in this world

  • @THE.ROBINETTE.FAMILY
    @THE.ROBINETTE.FAMILY 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for sharing your story. My baby girl has the same dob as your baby girl.

  • @honeyhoney1252
    @honeyhoney1252 3 года назад +6

    I had a still born full term her heart stop beating last minute I was about to give birth to her she be 18 now I nearly lost my life after 7 hours off pushing myself not a dry eye that night even the male nurses cried that night worse part is when you hear someone else baby cries in the next roomxxxx

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +1

      So sorry for your loss.

    • @mariapobje5692
      @mariapobje5692 3 года назад +1

      I lost my grandson at 35weeks now he would be 14 now.

    • @StillAPartofUs
      @StillAPartofUs  3 года назад +2

      A loss child affects some many people in the world. We are sorry for your loss grandson 14 years ago.

    • @mariapobje5692
      @mariapobje5692 3 года назад +1

      The same happened to my girlfriend's daughter. She lost my grandson at 35weeks. He would be 14 now.

    • @mariapobje5692
      @mariapobje5692 3 года назад +1

      It's very sad when a baby passes on.at least they r at peace

  • @peanut924
    @peanut924 4 месяца назад +1

    The baby is so pretty.

  • @bethkelsey1
    @bethkelsey1 Год назад

    I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Lydia. We lost one from in utero cord strangulation at 37 weeks. We spent five weeks watching her die. She never woke and never cried in those five weeks. It is always awful regardless of how it happens.