If your partners self centered and selfish, just prepare for the divorce. Marriage is a team effort, not “every man for themselves” mentality. BOTH MEN AND WOMAN have to submit to each other, in order to make this work. A lot of people thinks marriage is like a Disney movie and they need to read the Bible
Y’all are supposed to put each other first, that’s the point. If I’m doing what I am supposed to do as a man which is primarily taking care of my children and my wife. In return my Wife is supposed to make me her priority which is being a helpmate and giving me emotional support and also so she can do what she needs to do for the kids etc… God is the only person you put before your spouse.
I really think this mentality comes from women seeing the women in their lives sacrifice their needs for partners that were not worth the sacrifice so they say "I will never put a man before myself" They just can't wrap their mind around a healthy partnership. I've been guilty of this myself after a one sided relationship but now, at 54, I get it.
Exactly. And ironically those same women will make all sorts of sacrifices for a job and a boss that doesn’t even deserve or appreciate their sacrifices putting in extra hours working off the clock etc. And they think that’s empowering even if they don’t own the company or they are not even properly compensated
@@catharsismemory Most of those women are being overworked and underpaid for a job that will post their replacement in an online ad before their obituary is printed. And in a healthy relationship many of them could afford to work less hours because of a man who pays for the majority of their bills…
I don't think she believes a man can put her first. Thats why she is saying she wont put a man first. Also i dont believe she has kingdom thinking at all. Maybe she is defensive or hopeless.
Bc many men dont. Even "men of God" end up cheating etc, when someone cheats they put THEMSELVES FIRST. Happens too much. Not to mention, many men leave women who do put everyone else first. Theyll be like "you let uself go" whilst taking care of everyone else. U must put urself first in sum aspects for a marriage to work bro.
I don’t think she’s self-centered, I think she made a stance and a choice about herself and maybe marriage isn’t for her, and that’s fine, there are a lot of women out here who are not thinking about marriage. Also, most men and marriages don’t put their wives first look at the marriage data.
@@Princess-us5so exactly, they always wanted to tell and teach women how to be good wise, but no one ever talks to these men about being good husbands, and how to teach them to be good husbands, it’s always about the woman holding it together, but never about the men holding the marriage together.
@@Sunflower_Shinee Exactly! That's why the institution of marriage and dating period is falling apart. Even the Bible put the burden of holding things together on the man even to the point of saying that "he is the savior of the body". It's a total role reversal. Men want to be the woman in the relationship and women have to take the man's role and still do her role. It's crazy. That's why I even though I mostly agree with Shoemake (even though in this video he kind of missed the mark a little, I'd say he's a bit tonedeaf) I also don't blame the woman in this video at all.
Then why is she talking about marriage and being a wife? I don't blame her for it but she is totally misguided. People treat marriage like it's just another relationship or like it's insurance against being lonely, or a social status symbol/goal in life to check off. It's none of those things. It's a sacrifice on both sides, and both people should be willing to make sacrifices for their partner. On the other hand people are in relationships treating it like a marriage. They are together long term with no official commitment. It's just so backwards nowadays.
Totally agree. They always omit that verse. But according to the Bible, married Christian women still have to obey their husbands as their heads. They should then make sure to find a man wiser than they are,in my humble opinion...
I think you miss the point as why men say this. In fact your point contradicts itself. If men and women should submit to each other then why should men stop saying women should submit to them? I don't really hear men out here saying they won't listen to their wives, do things their wives want even if it doesn't make them happy. Or say they wives are controlling because they set a boundary.
@@Womanomics Perhaps you should read the initial comment again. If men and women should submit to each other it's a contradiction to then say men shouldn't ask women to submit to them. Not sure what you're finding confusing about that
That’s false. Yes the scriptures state wives submit to their husbands. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Submission and love are entirely two different things. Bible even states the woman is the weaker vessel in comparison to man. She was designed to be a helpmeet. If you can’t admit that then you don’t believe in the scriptures truly.
The sprinkle sprinkle girlies and the what about me guys dont belong in relationships much less marriages because both ideologies are inherently selfish
She dont have a marriage mindset she has a single person mindset and that why she should not enter marriage. If you going into marriage your thinking and mindset need to change from I to us. You got to put your spouse before yourself and.they do the.same. You both giving and recieving through serving each other.
There's no such thing as toxic masculinity. Masculinity in itself is a very healthy thing in men, if a man is toxic... being toxic and being truly masculine don't go hand in hand. Being domineering, mean spirited, and abusive has nothing to do with masculinity. A toxic man is just toxic.
You are always to put yourself first. This why alot lf our grandmothers was unhappy because she put everyone else before herself. If a man is saying himself before yourselves then run 🏃🏾♀️
The ceremony seems like another reason for a party. The vows are meaningless and some have no intention of dropping their single lifestyle.Will always be grateful for advice from a much older and wiser lady.Shs said marriages fail because there's too many ghosts in the marriage bed. That's the price paid for being promiscuous! Virtuous people are comparing ex lovers!
You know they say love is not enough and that statement is true love is not enough for a relationship to thrive. First of all you have to see your partner as there is no one else in this world as good as that person I have with me agreement doesn’t take much to get you moving in the right direction, love is the path to heaven love is the path to Heaven
Grand rising 🙏if you want anything to work You have to put the work into it. Not a you or me but an US togetherness.marriage n business partner working because they want it to work, work at it no one give up. compromise help.
You aint even watch the video before you said this🤦🏾♂️ in a relationship, there are going to be times where you have to put the other persons needs or wants above your own and your partner should be willing to do the same
@@nakiacharease Exactly. Thank God you get it. Not only does that mentality make for a bad marriage partner but also a terrible sister in Christ, as even Christ and Apostle Paul says to put one another (in Christ) before ourselves. All in all, this is a mindset that pollutes the soul, instead of bearing fruit, she’ll bear thorn and thistles in her garden.
@@SonDeku-y5x It’s better to sleep in a bed alone then with someone that makes you feel alone. If you fear being alone that’s an issue that you need to work on. The Bible says a man that finds a wife finds a good thing and that the woman is the helpmate to the man. If a woman has no man then she is directly serving TMH. “But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.“ 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 KJV
The only reason a lot women oppose submitting is when men do treat it like a slave and master situation or if the man is treating her wrong emotionally, physically, Mentally, or financially. In the past a lot women had to put up with a lot things from men that they're not willing to put up with today.
4:46 immm I don’t think you have to out yourself last in order to submit to your husband. If I’m not taking care of myself first I can’t take care of anybody. I agree with shorty maybe just not her mindset necessarily
When you raise up a 'me-me-me!' brattish generation, self-obsessed and absorbed with selfies and self-image and the rest of it, what better can you expect. The concept of selflessness and giving is just anathema to them.
Y’all are clearly misunderstanding her. and then try to apply Bible scriptures to it sounds like a joke look at this generation if you was to get married, you can believe you put in your wife first but you cannot truly put her first we all have priorities.
Not true. My husband always puts me first & I put him first. He works hard to keep me in the home, he takes care of me, he assists me when I need it, and he always strives to keep me satisfied & vice versa. Marriage is all about sacrifice. If you go into marriage being selfish, it will fail. I never have once thought about satisfying my own needs without also thinking about how I can satisfy my husbands.
Love this discussion, absolutely a woman should put her husband and family first. Most of all her husband. I am married in islam and In the quran it states : The Prophet (ﷺ) said that if he were to order anyone to prostrate themselves before another, he would have ordered a woman to prostrate herself before her husband. ❤
Why marry, only to divorced. Marriage in my opinion is necessary only if one chooses to have children. Due to legacy options such as" inheritance, medical decisions, etc. In sum, if one chooses to marry choose wisely as in all situations in life.
What do you think of the likelihood of successful DINK (dual income, no kids) marriages? I'm not here to argue btw. I agree with your sentiments about divorce, especially when considering children!
No. The Man is supposed to lead. It will only work whrn the man leads, and loves his wife as he loves the LORD, and the wifes dows what she is supposed to as a helpmate, and he is leading them to the LORD.
They have seen women being abandoned and hurt by men for generations. It is a defense mechanism. The question, when will the black man get proper leadership skills to lead his women
Black women really bother me, because since the beginning of time black people have always survived together.....Grandmomma & Grandaddy met each other in the gutter and climbed out of the mud hand-in-hand...... Modern women love to scoffe at that level of committment and call it struggle love and see it as beneath them to help a man build a 🏰 and instead they feel that they're the 👸🏽 Princess who should be able to simply move in.
I don't think men like you should get married either. Commitment I agree with, but life ain't all about struggling. We are not in 1927, we are in modern times, that's not going to work. There have been many women who have built a man and in the end he left her for another woman. That's not sustainable. Where's help for the woman? Because it's always one way. A lot of men just bring bullshit such as being broke and cheating. I understand life brings struggles but a man should make a womans life easier and lift some burdens not add more problems that she had when she was single. Nowadays we women ain't having it. We have been struggling unnecessarily since the inception of the country why continue to struggle?
@@Princess-us5so I've been married almost 10 years....Why is the idea of having to crawl before you walk such a foreign concept to women, but they'll allow the white power structure to brainwash them into the belief system that blk men are worthless unless they can afford to pay all of their bills like 👨🏻🦳 Zaddy does through programs like SECTION 8, WIC, SNAP, TANIF etc.
Don't even sit here and tell that lie. So many of us have helped black men and tried to build with them when they had absolutely nothing. I did it and still got left. Never made him feel bad, always supported his dreams even knowing I had to be the bread winner because of them, but held out hope that it would be okay and worth it in the end. Then once things looked up for him, he dumped me like a bad habit. We're tired of being used when y'all have nothing cuz we're the only ones that accept y'all when y'all have nothing (white women don't put up with that mess) and then getting tossed aside when you finally get your lives together.
It's called selective submission, modern women know how to be submissive, because daily they submit to 👨🏻🦳 Zaddy at work, the people at the WIC, TANIF, and SNAP offices downtown, but when it comes to the black man he has to either walk on water/ turn water into wine to get basic respect.
And thats exactly why I hope women stop having sex unless the man they do it with proves his commitment. Women should not be providing husband-intended benefits while never being treated like a wife
People definitely don't know what love is these days.🤦🏿♀️ You're so right.
Lol
If your partners self centered and selfish, just prepare for the divorce. Marriage is a team effort, not “every man for themselves” mentality. BOTH MEN AND WOMAN have to submit to each other, in order to make this work. A lot of people thinks marriage is like a Disney movie and they need to read the Bible
Y’all are supposed to put each other first, that’s the point. If I’m doing what I am supposed to do as a man which is primarily taking care of my children and my wife. In return my Wife is supposed to make me her priority which is being a helpmate and giving me emotional support and also so she can do what she needs to do for the kids etc… God is the only person you put before your spouse.
Amen
Where does it say emotional support? Do you give her emotional support
Well then I’m done, because I put god and my child before my spouse 🤷🏾♂️
Mark 10:7-8
I really think this mentality comes from women seeing the women in their lives sacrifice their needs for partners that were not worth the sacrifice so they say "I will never put a man before myself" They just can't wrap their mind around a healthy partnership. I've been guilty of this myself after a one sided relationship but now, at 54, I get it.
agreed - got it too
Exactly. And ironically those same women will make all sorts of sacrifices for a job and a boss that doesn’t even deserve or appreciate their sacrifices putting in extra hours working off the clock etc. And they think that’s empowering even if they don’t own the company or they are not even properly compensated
The difference is those women ate being paid for their hard work.
@@catharsismemory Most of those women are being overworked and underpaid for a job that will post their replacement in an online ad before their obituary is printed. And in a healthy relationship many of them could afford to work less hours because of a man who pays for the majority of their bills…
@@truthbearer7891 that's almost everyone these days, every lone is under paid and men can't even support a family on their own anymore.
I don't think she believes a man can put her first. Thats why she is saying she wont put a man first. Also i dont believe she has kingdom thinking at all. Maybe she is defensive or hopeless.
That's what I was thinking, she needs to give her life to God.
most men do not have the ability.
Bc many men dont. Even "men of God" end up cheating etc, when someone cheats they put THEMSELVES FIRST. Happens too much. Not to mention, many men leave women who do put everyone else first. Theyll be like "you let uself go" whilst taking care of everyone else. U must put urself first in sum aspects for a marriage to work bro.
Has nun to do w God but with how men are these days.
When a man submits to God, his family will follow. This is how women submit and how men are meant to lead.
Thanks! Keep being the right example of a man trying to follow christ with your fam!
Thank you
I don’t think she’s self-centered, I think she made a stance and a choice about herself and maybe marriage isn’t for her, and that’s fine, there are a lot of women out here who are not thinking about marriage. Also, most men and marriages don’t put their wives first look at the marriage data.
I agree 💯
@@Princess-us5so exactly, they always wanted to tell and teach women how to be good wise, but no one ever talks to these men about being good husbands, and how to teach them to be good husbands, it’s always about the woman holding it together, but never about the men holding the marriage together.
@@Sunflower_Shinee Exactly! That's why the institution of marriage and dating period is falling apart. Even the Bible put the burden of holding things together on the man even to the point of saying that "he is the savior of the body". It's a total role reversal. Men want to be the woman in the relationship and women have to take the man's role and still do her role. It's crazy. That's why I even though I mostly agree with Shoemake (even though in this video he kind of missed the mark a little, I'd say he's a bit tonedeaf) I also don't blame the woman in this video at all.
Then why is she talking about marriage and being a wife? I don't blame her for it but she is totally misguided. People treat marriage like it's just another relationship or like it's insurance against being lonely, or a social status symbol/goal in life to check off. It's none of those things. It's a sacrifice on both sides, and both people should be willing to make sacrifices for their partner. On the other hand people are in relationships treating it like a marriage. They are together long term with no official commitment. It's just so backwards nowadays.
blame the devil and his plan to undermine the God ordained bedrock of society - the family unit@@Princess-us5so
SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER!! Men need to stop saying be submissive to them when the Bible clearly states we are to submit to each other.
Totally agree. They always omit that verse. But according to the Bible, married Christian women still have to obey their husbands as their heads. They should then make sure to find a man wiser than they are,in my humble opinion...
The man submits to god not you fool
I think you miss the point as why men say this.
In fact your point contradicts itself. If men and women should submit to each other then why should men stop saying women should submit to them?
I don't really hear men out here saying they won't listen to their wives, do things their wives want even if it doesn't make them happy. Or say they wives are controlling because they set a boundary.
@@Womanomics Perhaps you should read the initial comment again.
If men and women should submit to each other it's a contradiction to then say men shouldn't ask women to submit to them.
Not sure what you're finding confusing about that
That’s false. Yes the scriptures state wives submit to their husbands. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Submission and love are entirely two different things. Bible even states the woman is the weaker vessel in comparison to man. She was designed to be a helpmeet. If you can’t admit that then you don’t believe in the scriptures truly.
Amen…. I wish I could get this point across over to my son …..you must establish a sound relationship with God.
The sprinkle sprinkle girlies and the what about me guys dont belong in relationships much less marriages because both ideologies are inherently selfish
That part. The sprinkle sprinkle ideology is for women that just want to marry for money.
She dont have a marriage mindset she has a single person mindset and that why she should not enter marriage. If you going into marriage your thinking and mindset need to change from I to us. You got to put your spouse before yourself and.they do the.same. You both giving and recieving through serving each other.
She’s assuming that she won’t find a Godly man.
I just love this channel. Good Word.
Preach It!! Young Brother 🙏
This a tough one. Thanks for your view point.
It’s because of toxic masculinity (men who intentionally abuse their power and authority), period.
Jesus loves us all ✨
There's no such thing as toxic masculinity. Masculinity in itself is a very healthy thing in men, if a man is toxic... being toxic and being truly masculine don't go hand in hand. Being domineering, mean spirited, and abusive has nothing to do with masculinity. A toxic man is just toxic.
Totally! Now women ain't having any of it! We didn't get like this just because.
Women don’t have a problem submitting to moral men who have their best interest in mind.
You are always to put yourself first. This why alot lf our grandmothers was unhappy because she put everyone else before herself. If a man is saying himself before yourselves then run 🏃🏾♀️
Good stuff brother
People don't even respect marriage anymore smh don't even respect a relationships
The ceremony seems like another reason for a party. The vows are meaningless and some have no intention of dropping their single lifestyle.Will always be grateful for advice from a much older and wiser lady.Shs said marriages fail because there's too many ghosts in the marriage bed. That's the price paid for being promiscuous! Virtuous people are comparing ex lovers!
Thats it . people do not understand the definition of a godly marriage.. according to God's way nkt our way
If we are not at the stage where we can give in to our partners without losing ourselves then we are not ready for serious commitments.
You know they say love is not enough and that statement is true love is not enough for a relationship to thrive. First of all you have to see your partner as there is no one else in this world as good as that person I have with me agreement doesn’t take much to get you moving in the right direction, love is the path to heaven love is the path to Heaven
That is so not love. The list of demands everybody has.
These men are unable to love.
Grand rising 🙏if you want anything to work You have to put the work into it. Not a you or me but an US togetherness.marriage n business partner working because they want it to work, work at it no one give up. compromise help.
Agreed , pray for her son! I post under my son in laws name ( keeps the wolves away)..
As she should. Absolutely no one comes before Self.
You aint even watch the video before you said this🤦🏾♂️ in a relationship, there are going to be times where you have to put the other persons needs or wants above your own and your partner should be willing to do the same
Facts God and self should be the number 1 focus
@@asiadpContinue believing that and check back with us in about 30 years.
Mindsets bear fruit, you’ll sleep in the bed you’ll make.
@@nakiacharease Exactly. Thank God you get it. Not only does that mentality make for a bad marriage partner but also a terrible sister in Christ, as even Christ and Apostle Paul says to put one another (in Christ) before ourselves.
All in all, this is a mindset that pollutes the soul, instead of bearing fruit, she’ll bear thorn and thistles in her garden.
@@SonDeku-y5x It’s better to sleep in a bed alone then with someone that makes you feel alone. If you fear being alone that’s an issue that you need to work on. The Bible says a man that finds a wife finds a good thing and that the woman is the helpmate to the man. If a woman has no man then she is directly serving TMH. “But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.“
1 Corinthians 7:32-33 KJV
The only reason a lot women oppose submitting is when men do treat it like a slave and master situation or if the man is treating her wrong emotionally, physically, Mentally, or financially. In the past a lot women had to put up with a lot things from men that they're not willing to put up with today.
but woman have no problem, submitting they body to a man
💯💯💯💯
❤❤❤❤❤🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👋🏾🌹
And these are the women that become baby mommas teaching this to the next generation of women.
4:46 immm I don’t think you have to out yourself last in order to submit to your husband. If I’m not taking care of myself first I can’t take care of anybody. I agree with shorty maybe just not her mindset necessarily
Coveted under God ❤ equally yoked 🙌🏾
I’m sorry, but today society, modern men and women are not marriage material
Some people are.
ADONI comes first if we all did what He wanted submission wouldn't be a problem ❤
When you raise up a 'me-me-me!' brattish generation, self-obsessed and absorbed with selfies and self-image and the rest of it, what better can you expect. The concept of selflessness and giving is just anathema to them.
Y’all are clearly misunderstanding her. and then try to apply Bible scriptures to it sounds like a joke look at this generation if you was to get married, you can believe you put in your wife first but you cannot truly put her first we all have priorities.
Not true. My husband always puts me first & I put him first. He works hard to keep me in the home, he takes care of me, he assists me when I need it, and he always strives to keep me satisfied & vice versa. Marriage is all about sacrifice. If you go into marriage being selfish, it will fail. I never have once thought about satisfying my own needs without also thinking about how I can satisfy my husbands.
Love this discussion, absolutely a woman should put her husband and family first. Most of all her husband. I am married in islam and In the quran it states : The Prophet (ﷺ) said that if he were to order anyone to prostrate themselves before another, he would have ordered a woman to prostrate herself before her husband. ❤
Actually the best relationships ull ever have before being with someone is yourself
Why marry, only to divorced. Marriage in my opinion is necessary only if one chooses to have children. Due to legacy options such as" inheritance, medical decisions, etc. In sum, if one chooses to marry choose wisely as in all situations in life.
What do you think of the likelihood of successful DINK (dual income, no kids) marriages? I'm not here to argue btw. I agree with your sentiments about divorce, especially when considering children!
How about 1 Corinthians 7 ?
And for people that have a strong relationship with Christ Jesus
@@Edelweiss-w7wPeople are unpredictable, and cannot be controlled indefinitely, not even by the standards of religion, which a human wrote.
@@velitelight No control. Following Christ is voluntary. Matt 10:14
I logged off when you said “get into heaven”… ✌🏾✨
Just got married fr and all this content with people talking so negatively about marriage makes me cringe. I really think I found a diamond in the mud
Marriage only works when both partners put the woman first lol. Happy wife happy life.
No. The Man is supposed to lead. It will only work whrn the man leads, and loves his wife as he loves the LORD, and the wifes dows what she is supposed to as a helpmate, and he is leading them to the LORD.
@@ShaynieB👏🏾
If a woman doesn't obey you and doesn't Revere you as her man, don't make her your wife.
Stop looking for what can you do for me love if you’re not willing to push your partner up the ladder there’s nowhere for y’all to go
Let you I gotta say so a man and a woman supposed to be married before you get before you have kids
Yall gon see her crying in 2yrs about not being chosen
Girl I think she will be fine. Who's even out here whining to be chosen anyway with the way men are today.
Submit to God Man ,submit to Man Woman
What is happening here, stop getting involved with people who are not evenly yoked.
What is wrong with some of these black women?
They have seen women being abandoned and hurt by men for generations. It is a defense mechanism. The question, when will the black man get proper leadership skills to lead his women
@@ertfgghhhhAmen👍🏾🙏🏾
🙄 had I known this was a religious channel I would have never wasted my time 😒I’m OUT!!
✝️👨👩👧👦🐕
Black women really bother me, because since the beginning of time black people have always survived together.....Grandmomma & Grandaddy met each other in the gutter and climbed out of the mud hand-in-hand......
Modern women love to scoffe at that level of committment and call it struggle love and see it as beneath them to help a man build a 🏰 and instead they feel that they're the 👸🏽 Princess who should be able to simply move in.
I don't think men like you should get married either. Commitment I agree with, but life ain't all about struggling. We are not in 1927, we are in modern times, that's not going to work. There have been many women who have built a man and in the end he left her for another woman. That's not sustainable. Where's help for the woman? Because it's always one way. A lot of men just bring bullshit such as being broke and cheating. I understand life brings struggles but a man should make a womans life easier and lift some burdens not add more problems that she had when she was single. Nowadays we women ain't having it. We have been struggling unnecessarily since the inception of the country why continue to struggle?
@@Princess-us5so I've been married almost 10 years....Why is the idea of having to crawl before you walk such a foreign concept to women, but they'll allow the white power structure to brainwash them into the belief system that blk men are worthless unless they can afford to pay all of their bills like 👨🏻🦳 Zaddy does through programs like SECTION 8, WIC, SNAP, TANIF etc.
Don't even sit here and tell that lie. So many of us have helped black men and tried to build with them when they had absolutely nothing. I did it and still got left. Never made him feel bad, always supported his dreams even knowing I had to be the bread winner because of them, but held out hope that it would be okay and worth it in the end. Then once things looked up for him, he dumped me like a bad habit. We're tired of being used when y'all have nothing cuz we're the only ones that accept y'all when y'all have nothing (white women don't put up with that mess) and then getting tossed aside when you finally get your lives together.
It's called selective submission, modern women know how to be submissive, because daily they submit to 👨🏻🦳 Zaddy at work, the people at the WIC, TANIF, and SNAP offices downtown, but when it comes to the black man he has to either walk on water/ turn water into wine to get basic respect.
That's not true, some of us would love to build together and dig ourselves out of the mud together.. maybe you haven't come across that woman yet
Exactly women aren't willing to give what we as men use to give..
So we have given up
All's I want is free box nothing else I'm good
And thats exactly why I hope women stop having sex unless the man they do it with proves his commitment. Women should not be providing husband-intended benefits while never being treated like a wife