I like the perspective about the bed-ridden camp because it kinda touches the trends I was warry around. It's like extreme gluttony and hedonism. They're selling messages that women can have everything they want without effort. I understand the anti-work and self-care sentiments. But it creates the idea that women don't have to contribute to society, their community, etc. That everything should come to them because they exist. Anything outside of that is painted as a struggle. It's so unrealistic. Constant comfort can decay us as humans. I don't support putting yourself in constant stress either. But desiring to not have drive, purpose, or will to grow from challenges (all that can be accomplished without a 9-5) because you're a woman seems very childish.
It’s also like, when you go so far left that you go right. it basically tells women to not work on themselves or do things that will add to their development as an individual. It doesn’t necessarily make an independent and competent person
This is exactly why I had to remove myself from social media! You eventually become reduced to a “pick me” girl promoting some random trend of the week. I was becoming less and less of a multifaceted soul with depth. The minute I spoke my mind or said something philosophical my interactions plummeted or I would get completely ignored but if I threw up one of my own ‘sad girl’ photos or put on my sexiest look and pose, boom, the interaction would explode again. It was completely training me to only act this way because I was being rewarded when I acted the way it wanted me to. It makes me sick. I loved how I got to express myself without having to say much because I love to confuse and confound the mind with absurdity, mystery and beauty but it wasn’t translating right and it was changing me. I honestly began to noticeably lose my vibrant vocabulary, deep thinking abilities & all around felt dumber and I became very consumeristic. I honestly am still trying to rediscover who I am without social media. It’s going to be a journey. I now use only RUclips for its long form content & abilities it gives me to fully express myself. Hoping to start recording again soon but for now I use the community tab on my channel for self reflecting posts and photos.
i am also guilty of consuming that content at a gluttonous rate (though mostly because i can’t look away from the stepford-wives-ness of it all), but i totally agree with you! there’s only so many luxurious baths i can take on the way to self-actualization
I totally understand what you mean by that clone-like stepford wives quality of it! I think we are drawn to what is conventional due to the comfort it brings, but I don’t think there’s much to be gained outside of that comfort.
I've been following femininity content for over a decade, mostly related to hypergamy and self-development. Years ago you could barely find anything, it became much more popular after a lot of women had realised they could make a living by telling other woman how to be a woman. Some of them teach others how to get the things (like an engagement ring, provider husband or elegance) even they themselves couldn't get. Some of them 'forget' to give credit in getting where they are to prostitution (which I have nothing against). Concealing their past is understandable and it's their right but it leaves big part of reality out of the picture and gives girls false hopes or straight up delusions. I'm in so deep in this online community, that when someone steals ideas, tips, language they use, most of the time I know from who. 🤣 There's a lot of drama, lying, repackaging same advice over and over and a lot of idiots who buy it and expect to be led by the hand from their shithole in the middle of nowhere into the arms of a millionaire who will pay them for existing. To the girls blindly following gurus and their disciples, I would say that most of advice is pointless, wrong, will make you look stupid, put you in danger or set you up for abuse. You have to dive through the deep sea of trash with a pink bow on it for one gem of good advice. Valuable groups with people who know what they are talking about are private, with selection process and paid access, or simply closed for the public and you just won't get in as an outsider, and certainly not as a delusional imbecile learning who to be and how to live from tiktok. Don't brother with buying courses from popular people who can't show you the results in their own life (and remember that there is a lot of lunatics lying in everyone's face). Don't buy this one cookie-cutter brand of femininity - every other naive girl is doing it, you'll just blend in the crowd of doe-eyed giggling dolls, thinking they're so slick and fooling everyone, when you're fooling yourself. Even if you learn to pretend to be feminine in a way someone else tells you to, you will exhaust yourself by having to act 24/7 and a lot of people stil won't fall for your bullshit. When you're learning new makeup techniques, next time try clown makeup, at least this time you'll learn something about yourself looking in the mirror, because that's who you are thinking you'll change your identity and essence from the outside. If you want to 'elevate' your appearance, the shade of pink of your dress doesn't matter, as long as it matches your skin tone; honestly: get fit body, healthy, styled hair, white teeth, clear skin, pretty nails, use subtle aestetic medicine to look more fresh and symmetrical; always be presentable, try out specific beauty tips from people who look like you, tailor your clothes and you're already ahead. For real results, inner work and self-development: get therapy, education, interests, passions, hobbies, opinions, your individual thoughts, develop social skills, emotional intelligence, manners, form connections. You have to get a life and go live it. Go on adventure, try something, fuck it up, try it again and learn. What are you going to talk about on the date, five hours you spend on watching the videos teaching you how to sit in a chair in a feminine way, when you could do something worthy of talking about or at least read a book? Good luck with even getting that date by being robotic empty shell. Don't just sit consumming endless advice, get one tip and go out and try it, what works for them doesn't have to work for you. Boom, just saved you thousands of dollars for hearing something you already know. No one will teach you to be a woman, no one can teach you anything - you can only learn and you are one of a kind, respect that. For the sane ones, this content can be a reference point for refining yourself on surface level when you already are complete, interesting person and a starting point for learning to use 'femininity' as a tool to get what you want, by taking some ideas, techniques, trying them out for yourself and calibrating them to work for you. The good thing about this community is that it's strictly women, so it provides female-only spaces, which we desperately need. I learned the most from places where men aren't allowed so we can talk without being interrupted, ridiculed, gaslighted and getting intentional bad advice. I like that they talk about having high standards for men, in this hookup culture they are tragic, so even if one of enabling girls stops to think, dumps the douchebag and demands what she deserves, it's still a smallest positive step in direction of better treatment for all of us - if we don't ask for more, we won't get it collectivelly. Another small good thing is that this subject by becoming more popular can at least make some of us to even consider our femininity and inspire to discover and embrace it. I think it would be much more helpful if instead of surface tips we got techniques how to connect with ourselves, discover our essence, archetypes; how to honor our intuition; feel our feelings; effectively use flowy, cyclical energy in man's world, ruled by schedules and obligations; how to spot danger so we can be soft when there is none; understand how much power we have; how to be happy alone; how to forgive ourselves for being too good and how to let ourselves be angry and feral; how to fight when so many things try to kill our spirit; how to raise strong, healthy daughters and how not to become our mothers; how to be here and now, open, in touch with the world, how to live truly, madly, deeply and bring to life everything around us, but as you said, it's a lifelong journey and not a RUclips playlist. I really liked your take on this subject, I agree, mostly it's a toxic cult fueled by greed and delusion. I follow the subject for years and I didn't even know about this movement of bed- ridden slugs (thank god), you always amaze me with some new insight. I loved your other content about femininity and would love to see more of it, you're such a breath of fresh air.
Wow, dear stranger, I cannot thank you enough for such a valuable comment. It’s so cool that you have been in this space for so long. Do you have any favorite mentors you look up to? I am really curious. At the end of the day I know what I have to do is do some of the things you mentioned, plain and simple, instead of looking for new information. I am a bit addicted 😅. Are you familiar with the universe guru? With Cynthia L? I would really appreciate your input on those two since you have been in thsi space for so long and have seen so many different perspectives. Of course no pressure to reply to this strange girl. Sending love your way
I appreciate some of the points you’re making in this comment, but I think it's important to address some misconceptions here. Falling into the traps of online cults isn't about lacking intelligence; more often than not, it's about vulnerability. Many factors can make someone susceptible to these groups or the content they post on social media-being marginalized, neurodivergent, trauma survivors, or simply going through a hard time and struggling to find support, etc. I’m speaking as someone who herself has got sucked into some of these online cults when they first took off, including the “femininity cult” that is addressed in this video. Reading comments where people like me are being called names and put down is hurtful. Blaming and condemning people for falling prey to these online cults is not helpful; it only adds to their suffering. What we need is understanding and support, empathy, and help with educating others about the dangers of these groups and the content in a way that is well-informed and compassionate to those of us who have been harmed by them.
Before this video is even released I know it's going to feel like I'm going to be looking in a mirror. I use to binge this content like my life depended on it. 💀 Yet I'm also glad to have watched this to have found out what real femininity ISN'T which was helpful for the period of my life I was in.
I thought Something was wrong with me when I would watch these “feminine” videos and become offset by them, i used to think I lacked femininity myself. But watching your content has alleviated my spirit as we have similar perspectives on this “trend”, I’m so thankful, I’ve learned so much watching you and grow more awake with every one , keep doing what you’re doing because your authenticity is seen
Shit I don't know where you came from, but thank you. I was on the whole feminine journey and felt like something was a little off with what they were saying.
Rosemary I hope you haven’t given up on a “femininity journey” that resonates with you. There’s such a wide variety of femininity content out there and some of it is good. Sorry if this is an annoying comment 😄
(Sorry, this kinda long, just realizing now) I strongly agree with yhe inflated self worth! It's bordering on extreme entitlement just for being born a woman. Now everyone has to open your doors, pay for your every meals, wait on you hand & foot, etc. All this talk about high standards, boundaries, picking your battles (most of it's pretending)-- while being soft & delicate...but in the next video they are verbally destroying the "pick-me's" and "dusty men". Does that sound like a high value woman? It really felt like a cult at times. The goal: to be a perfect high value woman who gets the perfect high value man. The enemy: pick-me's and dusties. Maybe even your friends & family. Your teacher: any watered-down spam channel that recycles the same talking points about reCeptIviTy, cLaSs & sELf-cAre. And if you're not careful you can find yourself in murky waters of incel pages, red-pillers & alt-right extremists . At it's mildest, it's pretentious & harmless at it's worst it's regressive & can lead you into making terrible into life decisions. Even developing dangerous ideologies. After being in that rabbit hole, I wouldn't reccomend it to anyone. So glad I'm out. I feel 100x more embodied in my femininty now than I ever did watching those videos.💞
Oh yes. All of this! I consider myself to be a representative of the Divine Feminine, at least sometimes, and let me tell you; my Sundays are spent planting trees, hauling water, building structures and cleaning the house. Literally. My job is hard labor and centered around caring for others (massage therapy). I have kids (teens, oh lord). I have a cranky ass husband. I have a dog. I have plants. I am in relationship with all of them and it all requires ingenuity, strength, resilience, stubbornness, and grace. Do I look amazing while I am doing it? It would depend on how you define that , but my body is strong and I feel like a badass, and despite the difficulty I feel I enjoy it. So yeah, sure those ladies know how to sip champagne with their long nails just so, but I know how to landscape a garden so that I can keep a fig tree alive in a zone it doesn't belong in. Also, I can ride a horse bareback. Also, I own my own business. Also,......this list goes on. And while I am sure those ladies might have some hidden depth I do not feel confident it's being developed. I wonder how far their line of thinking will travel in the direction of insipitude (is that a word? I like it, so I am declaring it a word) before it swings the other way.
There was a certain degree of utility to the HVW rhetoric at one point: Before it was reappropriated for TikTok (interestingly, by the retaliating trad manosphere), identifying as HV was used by forums like FDS to weed out low effort dates and consequently red flags for abuse and assault early, in an attempt to protect and inform het women. That's no bad thing when a third of American women murdered are still killed by the men in their lives, and looking for sus, low effort and hyperpornified behaviour like fetish mining in men genuinely correlates with reducing rape and assault risk as early as possible. Sadly, as with all trends protecting women and allowing them space to complain about genuinely terrible men, there was an incel backlash, and the expectation of a man contributing to dates (primarily to weed out aggressive guys with disempowerment issues from recent unemployment OR low effort misogynists with sex or worse on the brain) was emphasised to the extent that the term morphed into something tradwives and capitalists could profit off. Patriarchy and rape culture too. The irony. To address the spiritualisation point, I'm actually a tarot reader (for skeptics also, as tarot can be used as a thought experiment and therapeutic tool) and the venn diagram of this old and complex art with 'that girl' culture and witch-tok is horrendous to me. You can't shove these ideas into an attention economy safely or responsibly. Like femininity, divination is a very layered subject with a complex relationship to world history which informed the symbology of art and syncretic religious understandings we take for granted. To see it reduced to 'fortune telling' (an old slander against it), glow up readings and 'twin flame' readings whitewashing abuse dynamics rather than requiring action or work on the self (or indeed community contribution) is pretty devastating. I'm struggling to put effective disclaimers on my developmental readings in a culture where any challenge to laziness or hyper-individualism is dubbed 'triggering' and grounds to sue. Not sure when being a 'goddess' became about living in a bubble and ignoring ones impact on what spirituality broadly believes to be an interdependent system requiring responsibility, but commodification is the death of concept. Where's Adam Curtis when you need him?
This was wonderful! Thank you so much, I had no idea it was initially utilized was a form of defense, which I absolutely see the value in it serving that purpose. But unfortunately yes, things have changed. We need an awakening.
I have a “provider” husband and let me tell you I didn’t get him by sitting pretty lol, if anything I wear the pants (which I felt I was doing something wrong when I started watching those “femininity” videos - I’ve now come to terms with our dynamic and we’re both happier. ) we’re 2 balanced people coming together
So many gems here in this video. I have never resonated with the "level up" feminine community because it seemed shallow. They spend their day arguing about "dusties" instead of being solution oriented understanding how to be a quality person that a quality man would desire. There's a lot of mimicking of femininity out there but very few are actually embodying deeper depth I never heard of the bed ridden community but that sounds awful too LOL The spiritual feminines are kinda cringey too.. A lot of fluff and pandering but very little action or practical information I am still developing my channel into what I want it to be.. but I feel the direction I am going in is focusing more on inner healing to discover the unique woman inside of you as the foundation. And then whatever external expression you feel is best for you gets developed from there. And the man is just the extra if you desire it.. but not the main focus! Thanks for your magic here doll. Keep shining xoxo
The fact that the community even calls them dusties is probably an indication to stop watching. It sounds so immature. Like women fighting over a man. Glad you liked the video babe! Thanks for all the love ❤️
I had to remove myself from Instagram because of this. I was bombarded with this crazy content and it really started to affect me, and my relationships. It was so toxic and really destroyed my self esteem. Since I removed myself from this content, I feel that I have came back into my own and feel better.
This hit me right in the gut and rightfully so. I drank the kool aid of pseudo self care. Previously I’d been true to my path but post lock down I veered off coarse. I needed the wakeup call. Thank you.
if I recall you said femininity is not natural but becomes second nature when a woman practices and nourishes it. I understand that this video is made to draw attention to the superficial femininity that commercials keeps feeding young girls or women. I'd love to see a more extensive video on true femininity and how is it possible to nurture the feminine without falling too deep into commercialism or shallow spiritualism
I believe I said that in those which femininity is not natural, they have to discipline themselves until it becomes second nature. I didn't say femininity is always a learned behavior. That's very important to understand. Some women are have no issue with it at all and are just born that way, but I as well as many other women, had to find my way back to my feminine dominant self.
Gonna admit I did watch these kind of videos a lot for the self improvement motivation it gave me. But when I realized they were basically teaching women to be gold diggers, I got put off..
I'm so guilty of watching these youtubers and praying my personality would change so that I can be "feminine". I embody a femininity which is probably closer to what you'd call destructive chaos. I'm not light, pink frilly princess feminine. Ugh, I wish I spent all that time binge-watching and brain-washing on something similarly pointless but fun, like looking at the stars or counting dust specks in the rays of sunlight... Would have been more character building :D
Hey, what’s wrong with zodiac and crystals? Lol I have learned so much about me,my personality etc through zodiac, my birth chart. Just because someone doesn’t understand it doesn’t make it bad. I agree with you on the other stuff tho
I like femininity gurus. If i get toxic vibes i scroll past. I think embracing femininity has been so empowering after girl boss femininity. It became women must be like men to be respected. Like anything on the internet it starts good but people will take it too far or skew it.
Because it’s an absolute scandal that online femininity gurus might be the main thing influencing the gender roles of a young generation of girls. Like this RUclipsr says femininity can be complex, spiritual, eclectic, independent - its own thing - not just a means to attracting a man
I don't think it's really fair to label these channels pseudo feminine. Just because your idea of femininity isn't seeking out a high value man, doesn't mean it's not the idea of another woman's. There's a lot of straight women out there that wouldn't even take a bath if they weren't trying to be attractive to men lol - there's nothing wrong wrong that! I like your channel but this really just feels like you're shitting on women who don't fit your artistic or personal view of womanhood. Being a woman is a highly unique and personal journey and there isn't a right way or a wrong to do so. To compare these women to a cult is completely ridiculous and insulting to people who have survived being in ACTUAL cults.
This video is 100% criticizing those channels. My specific use of the word "cult" is explicitly detailed in this video, as well as the levels of severity each different definition holds. I also think it's fair to note the use of hyperbole for making a point in an argument. We can agree to disagree, but I absolutely do not believe there is anything positive to be gained by doing something or being a certain way for other people period; specifically if your identity is rooted in pleasing others. I hold this opinion regardless if it is a woman being feminine for a man or if it pertains to varying types of social relationships. Of course being a woman is a unique experience but I will not fall victim to a relativistic philosophy when it comes to dignity and femininity. The only time I will is within artistic practice. There are indeed eternal fixed principles that even the most unique feminine journey will arrive at with time. I do not excuse the spiritual laziness or lack of self-reflection. My "idea" of femininity, by the way, predates significant male interference. It does not succumb to it's self-destructive pull (as too much masculinity, whether internal or external is a threat to maintaining the integrity of true self-sufficient femininity). So I would argue that certainly counts for something, or could alone vouch for the merit in my statements. I will always believe a woman, the eternal divine female is "one in herself", and I encourage anyone who follows me to adopt the same belief for a happier, fulfilled life. But I am not your keeper, and if that doesn't resonate with you, I also believe in your right to hold opinions that differ from mine.
Your comment makes zero sense. Seeking a "high value man" and cultivating one's femininity are two completely different concepts. Why are you equating femininity to men? That's (hetero)sexuality. Nothing to do with femininity.
I like the perspective about the bed-ridden camp because it kinda touches the trends I was warry around. It's like extreme gluttony and hedonism. They're selling messages that women can have everything they want without effort. I understand the anti-work and self-care sentiments. But it creates the idea that women don't have to contribute to society, their community, etc. That everything should come to them because they exist. Anything outside of that is painted as a struggle. It's so unrealistic. Constant comfort can decay us as humans. I don't support putting yourself in constant stress either. But desiring to not have drive, purpose, or will to grow from challenges (all that can be accomplished without a 9-5) because you're a woman seems very childish.
I just feel that mindset is stupid regardless of your gender. These women just feel they have a moral excuse, which is so self defeating.
It’s also like, when you go so far left that you go right. it basically tells women to not work on themselves or do things that will add to their development as an individual. It doesn’t necessarily make an independent and competent person
This is exactly why I had to remove myself from social media! You eventually become reduced to a “pick me” girl promoting some random trend of the week. I was becoming less and less of a multifaceted soul with depth. The minute I spoke my mind or said something philosophical my interactions plummeted or I would get completely ignored but if I threw up one of my own ‘sad girl’ photos or put on my sexiest look and pose, boom, the interaction would explode again. It was completely training me to only act this way because I was being rewarded when I acted the way it wanted me to. It makes me sick. I loved how I got to express myself without having to say much because I love to confuse and confound the mind with absurdity, mystery and beauty but it wasn’t translating right and it was changing me. I honestly began to noticeably lose my vibrant vocabulary, deep thinking abilities & all around felt dumber and I became very consumeristic. I honestly am still trying to rediscover who I am without social media. It’s going to be a journey. I now use only RUclips for its long form content & abilities it gives me to fully express myself. Hoping to start recording again soon but for now I use the community tab on my channel for self reflecting posts and photos.
i am also guilty of consuming that content at a gluttonous rate (though mostly because i can’t look away from the stepford-wives-ness of it all), but i totally agree with you! there’s only so many luxurious baths i can take on the way to self-actualization
I totally understand what you mean by that clone-like stepford wives quality of it! I think we are drawn to what is conventional due to the comfort it brings, but I don’t think there’s much to be gained outside of that comfort.
You are exactly what I have been looking for. The rare kin I can rub shoulders with. Thank you so much for your channel and your work!
I've been following femininity content for over a decade, mostly related to hypergamy and self-development. Years ago you could barely find anything, it became much more popular after a lot of women had realised they could make a living by telling other woman how to be a woman.
Some of them teach others how to get the things (like an engagement ring, provider husband or elegance) even they themselves couldn't get. Some of them 'forget' to give credit in getting where they are to prostitution (which I have nothing against). Concealing their past is understandable and it's their right but it leaves big part of reality out of the picture and gives girls false hopes or straight up delusions.
I'm in so deep in this online community, that when someone steals ideas, tips, language they use, most of the time I know from who. 🤣 There's a lot of drama, lying, repackaging same advice over and over and a lot of idiots who buy it and expect to be led by the hand from their shithole in the middle of nowhere into the arms of a millionaire who will pay them for existing.
To the girls blindly following gurus and their disciples, I would say that most of advice is pointless, wrong, will make you look stupid, put you in danger or set you up for abuse. You have to dive through the deep sea of trash with a pink bow on it for one gem of good advice. Valuable groups with people who know what they are talking about are private, with selection process and paid access, or simply closed for the public and you just won't get in as an outsider, and certainly not as a delusional imbecile learning who to be and how to live from tiktok. Don't brother with buying courses from popular people who can't show you the results in their own life (and remember that there is a lot of lunatics lying in everyone's face). Don't buy this one cookie-cutter brand of femininity - every other naive girl is doing it, you'll just blend in the crowd of doe-eyed giggling dolls, thinking they're so slick and fooling everyone, when you're fooling yourself. Even if you learn to pretend to be feminine in a way someone else tells you to, you will exhaust yourself by having to act 24/7 and a lot of people stil won't fall for your bullshit. When you're learning new makeup techniques, next time try clown makeup, at least this time you'll learn something about yourself looking in the mirror, because that's who you are thinking you'll change your identity and essence from the outside.
If you want to 'elevate' your appearance, the shade of pink of your dress doesn't matter, as long as it matches your skin tone; honestly: get fit body, healthy, styled hair, white teeth, clear skin, pretty nails, use subtle aestetic medicine to look more fresh and symmetrical; always be presentable, try out specific beauty tips from people who look like you, tailor your clothes and you're already ahead. For real results, inner work and self-development: get therapy, education, interests, passions, hobbies, opinions, your individual thoughts, develop social skills, emotional intelligence, manners, form connections. You have to get a life and go live it. Go on adventure, try something, fuck it up, try it again and learn. What are you going to talk about on the date, five hours you spend on watching the videos teaching you how to sit in a chair in a feminine way, when you could do something worthy of talking about or at least read a book? Good luck with even getting that date by being robotic empty shell. Don't just sit consumming endless advice, get one tip and go out and try it, what works for them doesn't have to work for you. Boom, just saved you thousands of dollars for hearing something you already know. No one will teach you to be a woman, no one can teach you anything - you can only learn and you are one of a kind, respect that.
For the sane ones, this content can be a reference point for refining yourself on surface level when you already are complete, interesting person and a starting point for learning to use 'femininity' as a tool to get what you want, by taking some ideas, techniques, trying them out for yourself and calibrating them to work for you.
The good thing about this community is that it's strictly women, so it provides female-only spaces, which we desperately need. I learned the most from places where men aren't allowed so we can talk without being interrupted, ridiculed, gaslighted and getting intentional bad advice.
I like that they talk about having high standards for men, in this hookup culture they are tragic, so even if one of enabling girls stops to think, dumps the douchebag and demands what she deserves, it's still a smallest positive step in direction of better treatment for all of us - if we don't ask for more, we won't get it collectivelly.
Another small good thing is that this subject by becoming more popular can at least make some of us to even consider our femininity and inspire to discover and embrace it.
I think it would be much more helpful if instead of surface tips we got techniques how to connect with ourselves, discover our essence, archetypes; how to honor our intuition; feel our feelings; effectively use flowy, cyclical energy in man's world, ruled by schedules and obligations; how to spot danger so we can be soft when there is none; understand how much power we have; how to be happy alone; how to forgive ourselves for being too good and how to let ourselves be angry and feral; how to fight when so many things try to kill our spirit; how to raise strong, healthy daughters and how not to become our mothers; how to be here and now, open, in touch with the world, how to live truly, madly, deeply and bring to life everything around us, but as you said, it's a lifelong journey and not a RUclips playlist.
I really liked your take on this subject, I agree, mostly it's a toxic cult fueled by greed and delusion. I follow the subject for years and I didn't even know about this movement of bed- ridden slugs (thank god), you always amaze me with some new insight. I loved your other content about femininity and would love to see more of it, you're such a breath of fresh air.
You hit all the points love. I’m happy you trust I can provide some higher quality insight in comparison to that garbage.
Wow, dear stranger, I cannot thank you enough for such a valuable comment. It’s so cool that you have been in this space for so long. Do you have any favorite mentors you look up to? I am really curious. At the end of the day I know what I have to do is do some of the things you mentioned, plain and simple, instead of looking for new information. I am a bit addicted 😅. Are you familiar with the universe guru? With Cynthia L? I would really appreciate your input on those two since you have been in thsi space for so long and have seen so many different perspectives. Of course no pressure to reply to this strange girl. Sending love your way
Wow this comment needs to be a video
I appreciate some of the points you’re making in this comment, but I think it's important to address some misconceptions here. Falling into the traps of online cults isn't about lacking intelligence; more often than not, it's about vulnerability. Many factors can make someone susceptible to these groups or the content they post on social media-being marginalized, neurodivergent, trauma survivors, or simply going through a hard time and struggling to find support, etc. I’m speaking as someone who herself has got sucked into some of these online cults when they first took off, including the “femininity cult” that is addressed in this video. Reading comments where people like me are being called names and put down is hurtful. Blaming and condemning people for falling prey to these online cults is not helpful; it only adds to their suffering. What we need is understanding and support, empathy, and help with educating others about the dangers of these groups and the content in a way that is well-informed and compassionate to those of us who have been harmed by them.
Before this video is even released I know it's going to feel like I'm going to be looking in a mirror. I use to binge this content like my life depended on it. 💀 Yet I'm also glad to have watched this to have found out what real femininity ISN'T which was helpful for the period of my life I was in.
I thought Something was wrong with me when I would watch these “feminine” videos and become offset by them, i used to think I lacked femininity myself. But watching your content has alleviated my spirit as we have similar perspectives on this “trend”, I’m so thankful, I’ve learned so much watching you and grow more awake with every one , keep doing what you’re doing because your authenticity is seen
A hyper-feminine woman and hyper- masculine man make for an unbalanced dynamic ; 2 balanced people coming together is a more healthy relationship
Shit I don't know where you came from, but thank you. I was on the whole feminine journey and felt like something was a little off with what they were saying.
You were meant to find me, babe.
Rosemary I hope you haven’t given up on a “femininity journey” that resonates with you. There’s such a wide variety of femininity content out there and some of it is good. Sorry if this is an annoying comment 😄
I meant some of it is gold
(Sorry, this kinda long, just realizing now)
I strongly agree with yhe inflated self worth! It's bordering on extreme entitlement just for being born a woman. Now everyone has to open your doors, pay for your every meals, wait on you hand & foot, etc. All this talk about high standards, boundaries, picking your battles (most of it's pretending)-- while being soft & delicate...but in the next video they are verbally destroying the "pick-me's" and "dusty men". Does that sound like a high value woman?
It really felt like a cult at times. The goal: to be a perfect high value woman who gets the perfect high value man. The enemy: pick-me's and dusties. Maybe even your friends & family. Your teacher: any watered-down spam channel that recycles the same talking points about reCeptIviTy, cLaSs & sELf-cAre. And if you're not careful you can find yourself in murky waters of incel pages, red-pillers & alt-right extremists . At it's mildest, it's pretentious & harmless at it's worst it's regressive & can lead you into making terrible into life decisions. Even developing dangerous ideologies. After being in that rabbit hole, I wouldn't reccomend it to anyone. So glad I'm out. I feel 100x more embodied in my femininty now than I ever did watching those videos.💞
Sorry for any typos, autocorrect isn't my greatest friend.
That was so lucid, thank you! It’s nice to hear from someone who indulged in that content regularly. You give a lot of what I said validity.
Oh yes. All of this! I consider myself to be a representative of the Divine Feminine, at least sometimes, and let me tell you; my Sundays are spent planting trees, hauling water, building structures and cleaning the house. Literally. My job is hard labor and centered around caring for others (massage therapy). I have kids (teens, oh lord). I have a cranky ass husband. I have a dog. I have plants. I am in relationship with all of them and it all requires ingenuity, strength, resilience, stubbornness, and grace. Do I look amazing while I am doing it? It would depend on how you define that , but my body is strong and I feel like a badass, and despite the difficulty I feel I enjoy it. So yeah, sure those ladies know how to sip champagne with their long nails just so, but I know how to landscape a garden so that I can keep a fig tree alive in a zone it doesn't belong in. Also, I can ride a horse bareback. Also, I own my own business. Also,......this list goes on. And while I am sure those ladies might have some hidden depth I do not feel confident it's being developed. I wonder how far their line of thinking will travel in the direction of insipitude (is that a word? I like it, so I am declaring it a word) before it swings the other way.
You definitely are, your own version of it. A goddess of iron. ❤️
These pseudo femme gurus came along with the rise of alpha high value man podcasters and gurus
Thank you for this video. There is no one way to be feminine
there’s more to life than money and retinol
There was a certain degree of utility to the HVW rhetoric at one point: Before it was reappropriated for TikTok (interestingly, by the retaliating trad manosphere), identifying as HV was used by forums like FDS to weed out low effort dates and consequently red flags for abuse and assault early, in an attempt to protect and inform het women. That's no bad thing when a third of American women murdered are still killed by the men in their lives, and looking for sus, low effort and hyperpornified behaviour like fetish mining in men genuinely correlates with reducing rape and assault risk as early as possible. Sadly, as with all trends protecting women and allowing them space to complain about genuinely terrible men, there was an incel backlash, and the expectation of a man contributing to dates (primarily to weed out aggressive guys with disempowerment issues from recent unemployment OR low effort misogynists with sex or worse on the brain) was emphasised to the extent that the term morphed into something tradwives and capitalists could profit off. Patriarchy and rape culture too. The irony.
To address the spiritualisation point, I'm actually a tarot reader (for skeptics also, as tarot can be used as a thought experiment and therapeutic tool) and the venn diagram of this old and complex art with 'that girl' culture and witch-tok is horrendous to me. You can't shove these ideas into an attention economy safely or responsibly. Like femininity, divination is a very layered subject with a complex relationship to world history which informed the symbology of art and syncretic religious understandings we take for granted. To see it reduced to 'fortune telling' (an old slander against it), glow up readings and 'twin flame' readings whitewashing abuse dynamics rather than requiring action or work on the self (or indeed community contribution) is pretty devastating. I'm struggling to put effective disclaimers on my developmental readings in a culture where any challenge to laziness or hyper-individualism is dubbed 'triggering' and grounds to sue. Not sure when being a 'goddess' became about living in a bubble and ignoring ones impact on what spirituality broadly believes to be an interdependent system requiring responsibility, but commodification is the death of concept. Where's Adam Curtis when you need him?
This was wonderful! Thank you so much, I had no idea it was initially utilized was a form of defense, which I absolutely see the value in it serving that purpose. But unfortunately yes, things have changed. We need an awakening.
I have a “provider” husband and let me tell you I didn’t get him by sitting pretty lol, if anything I wear the pants (which I felt I was doing something wrong when I started watching those “femininity” videos - I’ve now come to terms with our dynamic and we’re both happier. ) we’re 2 balanced people coming together
Your perspective is so thought provoking
So many gems here in this video. I have never resonated with the "level up" feminine community because it seemed shallow. They spend their day arguing about "dusties" instead of being solution oriented understanding how to be a quality person that a quality man would desire. There's a lot of mimicking of femininity out there but very few are actually embodying deeper depth
I never heard of the bed ridden community but that sounds awful too LOL
The spiritual feminines are kinda cringey too.. A lot of fluff and pandering but very little action or practical information
I am still developing my channel into what I want it to be.. but I feel the direction I am going in is focusing more on inner healing to discover the unique woman inside of you as the foundation. And then whatever external expression you feel is best for you gets developed from there. And the man is just the extra if you desire it.. but not the main focus!
Thanks for your magic here doll. Keep shining xoxo
The fact that the community even calls them dusties is probably an indication to stop watching. It sounds so immature. Like women fighting over a man.
Glad you liked the video babe! Thanks for all the love ❤️
It's soooo refreshing and eye-opening to hear an alternative opinion on this! Amazing 😍 So glad I found your channel)
So happy youre here xx
i feel like my prefrontal cortex develops every time i watch one of your vids :,)
I'm so glad that I have found this !!!!!
Please create a podcast! I would eat that upppp!
I....will consider it 💫
I had to remove myself from Instagram because of this. I was bombarded with this crazy content and it really started to affect me, and my relationships. It was so toxic and really destroyed my self esteem. Since I removed myself from this content, I feel that I have came back into my own and feel better.
This hit me right in the gut and rightfully so. I drank the kool aid of pseudo self care. Previously I’d been true to my path but post lock down I veered off coarse. I needed the wakeup call. Thank you.
ooh this is gonna be good
Definitely!
if I recall you said femininity is not natural but becomes second nature when a woman practices and nourishes it. I understand that this video is made to draw attention to the superficial femininity that commercials keeps feeding young girls or women. I'd love to see a more extensive video on true femininity and how is it possible to nurture the feminine without falling too deep into commercialism or shallow spiritualism
I believe I said that in those which femininity is not natural, they have to discipline themselves until it becomes second nature. I didn't say femininity is always a learned behavior. That's very important to understand. Some women are have no issue with it at all and are just born that way, but I as well as many other women, had to find my way back to my feminine dominant self.
Thank you!! So true 🙌🏻
Gonna admit I did watch these kind of videos a lot for the self improvement motivation it gave me. But when I realized they were basically teaching women to be gold diggers, I got put off..
All of it just starts hurtling towards extremes
girl honestly my depression been severe but ya videos today made me laugh... bc your wit is similar to mine😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙋♀️
I am so honored I could do that for you babe!!!
I'm so guilty of watching these youtubers and praying my personality would change so that I can be "feminine". I embody a femininity which is probably closer to what you'd call destructive chaos. I'm not light, pink frilly princess feminine.
Ugh, I wish I spent all that time binge-watching and brain-washing on something similarly pointless but fun, like looking at the stars or counting dust specks in the rays of sunlight... Would have been more character building :D
Thank God someone actually talked about this
Omg i love you, you said what I've been wanting to say
I made a video about thisssss!!! Ughhhh we’re soul sisters
Thank you, really thank you.
❤️
You are awesome girl. I can not agree more with you.
❤️
Brilliantly put.
12:41 Para-social relationships are a dumpster fire waiting to happen when taken too seriously.
still hits today
ilysm
❤Thank you
You made❤my day
Hey, what’s wrong with zodiac and crystals? Lol I have learned so much about me,my personality etc through zodiac, my birth chart. Just because someone doesn’t understand it doesn’t make it bad. I agree with you on the other stuff tho
i don’t watch their content cos i notice it’s filled with humbling tactics … almost a humiliation ritual.
❤❤❤❤❤
your hand gesticulation is mad grace. bless up you sexy little savant
Why not just focus on yourself instead of hating on other women ? 😬 I get your point but you seem angry.. just do you and leave them alone.
she is speaking something a lot of people agree on. If you dont like it dont watch this content. Put your energy somewhere else
I like femininity gurus. If i get toxic vibes i scroll past. I think embracing femininity has been so empowering after girl boss femininity. It became women must be like men to be respected. Like anything on the internet it starts good but people will take it too far or skew it.
Criticism and hate are different things btw
Criticism and hate are different things btw
Because it’s an absolute scandal that online femininity gurus might be the main thing influencing the gender roles of a young generation of girls. Like this RUclipsr says femininity can be complex, spiritual, eclectic, independent - its own thing - not just a means to attracting a man
I don't think it's really fair to label these channels pseudo feminine. Just because your idea of femininity isn't seeking out a high value man, doesn't mean it's not the idea of another woman's. There's a lot of straight women out there that wouldn't even take a bath if they weren't trying to be attractive to men lol - there's nothing wrong wrong that! I like your channel but this really just feels like you're shitting on women who don't fit your artistic or personal view of womanhood. Being a woman is a highly unique and personal journey and there isn't a right way or a wrong to do so. To compare these women to a cult is completely ridiculous and insulting to people who have survived being in ACTUAL cults.
This video is 100% criticizing those channels. My specific use of the word "cult" is explicitly detailed in this video, as well as the levels of severity each different definition holds. I also think it's fair to note the use of hyperbole for making a point in an argument.
We can agree to disagree, but I absolutely do not believe there is anything positive to be gained by doing something or being a certain way for other people period; specifically if your identity is rooted in pleasing others. I hold this opinion regardless if it is a woman being feminine for a man or if it pertains to varying types of social relationships.
Of course being a woman is a unique experience but I will not fall victim to a relativistic philosophy when it comes to dignity and femininity. The only time I will is within artistic practice. There are indeed eternal fixed principles that even the most unique feminine journey will arrive at with time. I do not excuse the spiritual laziness or lack of self-reflection.
My "idea" of femininity, by the way, predates significant male interference. It does not succumb to it's self-destructive pull (as too much masculinity, whether internal or external is a threat to maintaining the integrity of true self-sufficient femininity). So I would argue that certainly counts for something, or could alone vouch for the merit in my statements.
I will always believe a woman, the eternal divine female is "one in herself", and I encourage anyone who follows me to adopt the same belief for a happier, fulfilled life. But I am not your keeper, and if that doesn't resonate with you, I also believe in your right to hold opinions that differ from mine.
Your comment makes zero sense. Seeking a "high value man" and cultivating one's femininity are two completely different concepts. Why are you equating femininity to men? That's (hetero)sexuality. Nothing to do with femininity.