Decluttering Tactic for "Chronic Over-Thinkers"
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2021
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I can't always relate to this struggle, but have witnessed it often and have heard the complaints: "I get stuck when I'm decluttering because I think of all of the 'what-if's' of the future!" It makes sense, you don't want to make a mistake, but how do you still make progress? Today we'll talk about a tactic to go from a "chronic over-thinker" to a decluttering pro in no time!
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Thank you for watching and thanks Helix for sponsoring! Go to helixsleep.com/minimalmom to get up to $200 off your mattress, plus two free pillows!
I turned you in, Dawn, lol! I got a Helix mattress. They asked where I heard about them, so I said you. I hope you get some compensation. You guys deserve it. 🙂👍🍁
@@holly5791 Thank you! We appreciate it!!!! :)
As always, you make me think of MORE things that have to go!! One rule (you asked in this video) that I've used lately is to "hear" the reaction during the day, I have to, say, a top that I'm wearing that I have loved in the past. Lately I've heard myself say "Hmm, not sure I'm liking this as much lately" = TIME TO GO. I've heard myself "ugh, this is getting really pilled and it was already purchased used and I've worn it a lot. Someone else may love this and not care about that slight texture change" = TIME TO GO. "Hmm, is this shirt getting shorter from laundry or am I only now noticing?" = TIME TO GO. And for over-analyzers if you resent having touched an item every time you try to declutter = TIME TO GO.
Were you peeking through my windows today???? This episode couldn’t have been more timely. I spent 30 minutes debating on an extra large Tupperware bowl that I haven’t used in 10 years. We used to use it to pass out Halloween candy and that’s how I got sentimental about a dumb plastic bowl. 😂 It is officially outta here, thanks to this episode.
Good for you for getting sponsored Dawn! I accidentally tripped on your channel over a year ago and following your advice has not only made my home more manageable, but also increased my confidence in myself! Thanks for keeping this channel free for us and for keeping your ads short and entertaining 😀
In the past, I would try to sell “new/like-new” items while decluttering because, let’s be real, it’s nice to feel like we at least make a little money back on those impulse buys. But the other day I implemented your rule of “if I can’t get at least x amount from it, then just let it go”. I ended up setting some very nice items out on the curb with a “free” sign, and watched as a school girl passed by on her way home and picked up the cute pair of shoes I had debated letting go, and some pink nail polish. Another child stopped and picked up the pretty headbands. Then a lady pulled up and got the bag of nice toddler clothes. Someone else seemed excited to get the books and cute Fall decor...
I found myself going through the house to find more things, because I was thoroughly enjoying how happy people were at receiving those little “treasures”.
Aww, that made me cry, Louise! What a wonderful thing you're doing. I'm very inspired by it. Sure, making a buck is great, but I bet seeing their faces on what a treasure they happened upon was way more valuable to you! Way to go 👏😄
This is so beautiful!
That is such a great story and how very nice of you! 👍🏻❤️
I've done that, my granddaughter always makes a glittery "Free to good home" sign when we give away our former treasures, always time it for the weekend when people are more likely to have time to stop.
Nice! ♡
🙋♀️Over-thinker here…caught myself trying to justify keeping sweats in case I ever broke my leg and had to get a cast! 🤪
Nice work, that's very creative!
Me, too. I have a large sturdy basket that I bought to sort things into when I was decluttering. It is so large that I store it up high in a closet to get it out of the way. It takes up the whole shelf. I can’t put much in it because it would be too heavy for me to lift. I’ve had it for over 15 years and only used it briefly after I bought it, but I never got rid of it because it is supposed to help me get organized.🤦🏼♀️
Ha ha! I’m wearing some right now…I shouldn’t tell you probably, but the weather is cooling and I’ve lost weight, so they’re the only long pants that fit at the waist!
Me too!
This one made me laugh!
I'll never forget the time my dad and I went to my (minimalist) grandmother's apartment and he needed to look something up in the phone book (pre-internet days, obviously), only to learn she'd thrown it away. "Ma, you threw the PHONE BOOK away?! Why?! You keep it in the drawer, no one even sees it!". She told him, "I knew it was in there and it got on my damn nerves."🤣🙃👍
That's a bit extreme
That's hilarious! She was ahead of her minimalist time
I'm keeping my last local phone book (from 2010) that has residential names and addresses. All the newer ones only include businesses.
Ha ha. I know exactly how she feels tho. Lol.
🙌 Goals!
One of the best gifts I have ever got was from a family friend/employer who was decluttering her home. It was close to Christmas. She told us that we (employees) could all pick an item (lots of things still in boxes and some other nice personal items that had been in her home) as our Christmas gift from her. I picked a square folding card table. We have decorated and used it for 12 years now for receiving gifts at baby showers, graduation parties, birthday parties and more. This dear lady has gone to be with the Lord but I remember her every time I use that table. Thankful to have her memory.
I too have a folding card table it's round that I bought saving green chip stamps with my father. That table was were I did my homework, did crossword puzzles. And very first dinner table when I got married !! And I still use it. I'm 65 and some things are justifiable keepers !!
Thats a good idea to do with family and friends!
That is so beautiful, the memories it evokes.
The important rule for me “Do not buy any storage boxes or containers before I have decluttered 😮If I could take one thing away from the classes was declutter first then get organized. It took awhile for me to realize buying containers and stacking them is only organizing my clutter! Thanks
YES! I agree with you 100%. We have been working in layers, decluttering the garage and basement and this was huge for us. Also, we moved to all clear containers and I put a list of what is in each container facing out inside the front of the container. Making life easier is our 2021 mantra.
So true!
Guilty of this! I have more containers than stuff to put in them!
@@Midwestmomvolunteer365
That's exactly my/our 2022 Mantra!! 😅
We're going to move an will declutter raadicaally!
Don Aslett used to call all the storage systems we buy "junk bunkers"!
I’m in my 60’s and lost my parents 4 months apart. I was the only living child and had to clean out their home. It gave me a whole new perspective on the stuff in my life. When you pass someone is going to have to sort through your things. I have vowed to make that as simple for my kids as I can.
That’s the idea behind Swedish Death Cleansing.
Yes, Swedish Death Cleaning. I need to adopt this idea too. I'm an only child, my parents are both sentimental clutterbugs. They got divorced when I was 21, so I became the "keeper of the family heirlooms" (things representing the complete family, like some of their wedding mementos, etc), and the sets of China from their parents, antique dining chairs that are too fragile (need professional repairs) for daily use in my current life stage... But they match the buffet that I do use, love, and cherish so it seems like a shame to separate them. This is where I get stuck.
That's exactly what I've been doing!! It took me and my husband 2 months to clean out his mother's house. I'm not putting our kids through that!
Why I haven't died yet ...
Exactly same here. I was already a minimalist but with te lost of my mom, i pay more attention to give away with my hands and not be a burden for the rest people. I don't mean my mom was a burden but the staff of this earth is always a burden.
Do you want to know the thing that helped me the most? Now I ask my grown son the question “When I am gone, is this something that you want as a memory or to keep? He always says “No, I am not attached to it I don’t care for it.” Then that makes me ask myself that if I don’t love it or am not using it, then why am I keeping this?” I’m not a museum…let it go.
My youngest son passed away at 37. He was the sentimental one. The oldest pretty much told me he's getting a dumpster and giving all my stuff the heave ho. I told him I am hiding money so he'd better look at everything :-)
@@brendagriffin6437 lol maybe stop hiding your money. 😄😅😆
He may be inclined to not even look then it's a double loss for you in some way.
I AM NOT A MUSEUM.
I SHOULD HAVE THAT ON A SHIRT
@@brendagriffin6437 LOL
my mom has gone on a declutter mission lately, she keeps finding things that used to be mine. i usually tell her no thanks, i don't want it. i have kept some photos and stuff. se of it i take home but then end up getting rid of bc they just aren't important to me. i don't more stuff to take up space in my home.
I am/was a huge overthinker.
My ex-husband died suddenly but not surprisingly in February of this year and the burden it put on my 30 year old son who lives in another state was more than I am willing to put on anyone in the future. So. Much. Stuff to go through in less than a week, so many decisions he had to make.
My husband and I have started to radically declutter and with every room we feel better, freer. We both want to thank you for being a huge part in our journey.
When I start overthinking too much (and decluttering really is a muscle that gets stronger the more you use it), I now know that I'm just tired and I call it quits for the day. Usually after sleeping on it. I roll my eyes at myself.
My craft room is next. Wish me strength.
Wishing you, & your family light love & strength! Thank you for sharing.
Your testimony is inspiring! I'm a clutter bug that is both overwhelmed and an over-thinker. Over-thinking applies to almost every area of my life, which is a definite 2-edged sword for me as an ADHD/Bipolar.
I just acquired a vintage cedar wardrobe, which is going to provide badly needed closet space. Just getting it into place, along with several weeks of soul searching and reading material and viewing videos for ideas and inspiration is motivating me. Thank you for adding to my positive reason file!
It’s been 6mos. Since you posted. How d you do in the craft room?
@@bonnieinthespirit6373 I followed Karen Brown's just get it done quilting channel in January. I went through everything, got rid of what I no longer needed, refolded and "visited" all my fabric, lol, and sorted it by type and then color. It's still a busy room, but being a craftroom, I'm ok with that. I come in here at the end of the day to relax and be happy, and I'm accomplishing that. It's easy to clean up when I have to, I'm not disciplined enough (in this room) yet to do it at the end of the day, but at the end of a project for sure!
Ok, I've commented before but I had to write a quick thanks. I got divorced after 24yrs. It's hard. I embraced retail therapy immediately after the divorce. Buying things he'd never agree with, or colors he hated. That worked for a year. But I was still sad, but now I was overwhelmed with stuff... who needs 19 handbags? No one. Now I'm downsizing and needed inspiration & found you on RUclips. I took loads & loads to Goodwill. I had a yard sale on Saturday and I sold 348 ITEMS. YES! YAY! I SOLD 348 THINGS! I made lots of money. Stuff I didn't sell is going on Facebook Market Place & all the littles are going to Salvation Army. I feel so much lighter. Thanks, Dawn for the good ideas and the encouragement. 🙂
Great job!!
Wow that yard sale was good work, that is alot of items, well done you 🙂
Dude I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. My heart goes out to you. I divorced after 5 years and thought I was going to die. You're amazing for making so much progress emotionally. Never give up!
I got divorced after 20 years and I understand completely that thing of buying things in your own style or things he’d never agree with. I even bought a pet python! Fortunately I came to my senses after a year (and returned the snake), and got back to minimizing.
Big congratulations on the divorce 👍 life is so great when you're free.
I just got rid of 3 purses that were really cute and they sparked joy to look at, but not to use. They were too heavy. Still hard to get rid of but I'm proud that I did it. Rule: If it's not comfortable or easy to use, don't keep it.
I have always enjoyed buying purses, wallets, tote bags and even luggage so I understand. Seems like I let go of a few purses and then find another one or two I think will be "the perfect one".
LOL, I have a beautiful leather wallet that doesn't fit in my very minimal downsized purse. I replaced it with a slim Tyvek "origami" wallet from a $1 sale bin and it works just fine. Now I have to tell myself that it's okay to donate the expensive wallet.
@@marilynndesilva7620 you could gift it to someone instead...
@@MGSpecial2023 One of my granddaughters will likely get it. One of them recently got my old Coach purse. (A new Coach purse is insanely expensive, but I found mine in a thrift shop. It served me well for many years but it was time to pass it on.)
@@barbarakornacki8599 I like the idea of filling them w essential items, sanitary supplies, etc & handing them to the homeless.
What helps me is realizing that everything deserves to be used. If I am simply storing it, then the item is not fulfilling it’s purpose in life. Letting it go is helping the item regain its reason for having been created.
I like that thought! This helps me. Everything should have a chance to fulfill its purpose. You're doing good to the item to let it go so it can. 👏🥰
Yes!! That's one of the things I've spent a long time coming to terms with. Especially with toys. The kids I'm closest to never respected anybody else's things and always broke even their own stuff. So I ended up packing away a lot of my toys as I grew up in hopes to protect it all from those kids. But they've now been in boxes for years and nobody is getting to appreciate them. The other day I finally pulled out some items for a visiting family member that's 2 only to realize the most important pieces were packed some place else so it would have to wait. 🤦🏼♀️ But I'm slowly trying to bring myself to get that stuff out and let someone enjoy it, even if it might break. Sadly, I think many of the things I have are so old they're probably brittle and more prone to breaking now anyways. A lot of good it's done holding onto it all. 🙄
Love this! Thank you!
@@atlanticjem2012 And yet, I think we need to release any guilt we have about keeping things, having them out of use, etc. We made and didn't make decisions from the levels of thinking we were at at the time, with all the emotions that we had. It's just wonderful that we can go beyond that now!
Well put. Reminds me a little of the kids book 'Holly & Ivy.'
I read “Overthinkers” and I just went ahead and showed up. These are my People. 🧠😬
Lol. Me too 😆
🙌
As a person in my 60’s, my gift giving rule is consumable items only, and something I know they’d like!
Now that my grandkids are all young adults, it's such a relief to be able to give them each a check as a gift and have it received with much gratitude. They are in a season of life where their tastes change, their jobs change, their homes change, etc. They don't need more "stuff" to haul around! And I think they are getting the hint. Their gifts to me now are more often consumable and I love that.
Me too. I've been doing that a few years. And include flowers, potted/cut/bulbs. I know they can be pricey, but if the receiver loves them, it's a great and sometimes lasting gift.
Yes, so agree! Trying for handmade usables also. Makes gift giving so much fun knowing it will be loved and used!
Last year my middle aged kids asked for "consumables" for Christmas.
I have a hard time even using consumables. My New Year's goal for the last 5 years has been to make a dent in my lotion/body spray supply. It's going very slowly.
The point you made about spending longer thinking about keeping it than you did buying it was so true! Mind blown
Mine too
Same here!
Exactly. This one sentence was worth watching the video. About 15 years ago I bought a black dress. Totally spontaneous. I never wore it, not even once, but it's still hanging in the closet. Every time I see it I feel bad. So many times I wanted to throw it away, but it wasn't the cheapest buy and my guilty conscience did not allow me to get rid of it. Now I finally will.
I loved watching you go through your decision making processes during decluttering. For 16 years we lived in a home that became like a warehouse because of all that went in and how little ever went out. Then we moved and were forced to confront the massive weight of all those delayed decisions, and this resulted in a massive axing of so much carefully collected stuff. I gave away 29 black trash bags filled to the brim with expensive clothing, much of which still had price tags, and gave away an enormous library of books packed onto shelves. Plus kitchen tools, plus furniture, plus lovingly amassed collections of prized 1950's mid century home decor items. I had not worn any of it, read any of it, cooked with any of it, displayed any of it. I thought I would deeply grieve separating from all this titanic amount of stuff and was stunned to realize that instead, I felt lighter than air. And that was one of the biggest wake up calls, the moment I wish I could bottle, to see what FREEDOM felt like no longer having to manage all of that inventory, and also not having to replace any of it, or even think about it again. It was akin to losing 100 lbs to divest ourselves of what had to be at least 2 tons of stuff. And rather than feel guilt or regret, I found I felt enormous relief. A do-over for the next season of my life. That is the most valuable outcome I could have achieved, bar none!
I am desperately wanting to get there. We sound like kindred spirits. Same composition of clutter. I have enough clothes to sink a ship. Books, ummm, ya. I've collected vintage, MC, and antiquities since I was in my teens. I don't know how to part with all this stuff! Reading your comment is inspiring.
Wow! Incredibly inspiring- congratulations!
Now! You have really inspired me. Thank you!
Loved reading your experience - thank you x
Wonderful! Thanks for taking the time to share your story. It was vey inspiring 💫
Once, I donated some kitchen cutlery to a thrift store, went back a week later and bought it back from them 😂😆🤣😅😂😭😜😂🤣😅
I nearly did something similar last week! I needed a black bag for a night out in London last weekend. So when I didn't find anything I liked in the local shops, I looked in the charity shop.
I was tempted by a lovely little bag, although it looked like it might be too small for my purposes. It also looked familiar. Then I realised that I'd donated it a few weeks before with a whole load of other things I'd decluttered - I never used it because it was too small. Oops!
@@miaschu8175 That's hilarious!
Another story: in our area, were allowed to place item on the street curb for giveaway. So since my decluttering journey, I've been putting stuff out there every weekend. About a month ago, the stuff started disappearing almost as quickly as I could put it out.
Recently, I visited a brand new thrift store, and it was quite well stocked with my old stuff 😂😆😜🤣😅😁
That could have been me😂
Literally yesterday I told my friend "I keep going back and forth on what to declutter. It's like I need someone to give me clear rules and guidelines as a form of permission." And here you are :)
Hahaha, this made me smile!!!!
Kismet!
If I'm on the fence about something, like a book or clothing, I make myself read or wear it that week; if I don't, it tells me how I really feel...and to the donation bin (which I keep right in my closet, so I can declutter every time I get dressed and discover something doesn't fit). :)
That is a good one! I am going to try that
My rule is to ask this question “Is it being used?” Not “is it useful ?” Not “is it usable?” But is it BEING used? If not, out it goes.
Ooh this is the best!
For me, it was rethinking my obligation to keep gifts - the purpose of a gift is to be freely given and gratefully received. When someone gives you a gift, thank them sincerely, and then your obligation is over. Whether you choose to keep it or not is entirely up to you. The person that gave it to you did not want it to be a burden. This was revolutionary for me!
Exactly!! If anything, take a picture of it and move on. That's one of the biggest things that helped me start letting go of gifts. Knowing I have a way to remember it and still think of them and that moment. But not needing the physical item taking up space going forward.
One Christmas several years ago my DIL gave me a big, RED, cut-glass plate on a stand. I smiled and acted excited, but I didn't have ONE place to put it because I had nothing red in my home. Last year I was de-cluttering and came across the plate. She and my son recently re-did their living room, which turned out to have some red in it, so I re-gifted it after explaining why. She laughed and gladly took it!
The biggest rule that helped me ruthlessly declutter my closet was to get rid of anything I had to "make it work", like when you said it looks good only when I hold my arms a certain way. Or it only looks good at this angle, if I tuck it in this particular way, or it has to be paired only with these pants, etc. It has to "work" all the time. It made me get rid of all the closes I didn't love, feel good in, didn't fit right, and never wore in one rule.
That's a big lesson for me.
I think I need to apply this to my whole house even. I def can relate. I think I just need to finally drop the whole “make it work somehow with duct tape” mentality. Being MacGyver lady is so overrated. Lol.
I like this rule. I'm plus sized and on a limited budget, so there are a lot of thrift shop items that fit but don't really work right off the rack. But fortunately I can do a lot with the sewing machine. So my questions are, can I tweak it so it will work for me? And WILL I go to the trouble? Sometimes it's really worth it. I know I had a shirt that I actually wore for years, but it bugged me every single time because the collar didn't lay straight! (Otherwise, it was warm and comfy--that's the main reason I kept it!)
Personally I think I'd have to join a nudist colony because I don't like how any of my clothes look on me anymore. 🤣 Hopeful that'll change as I get healthy/ more fit again.
@@ari3lz3pp i cant join a nudist colony mate, i'd terrify the wildlife.
but wouldnt it take the anxiety out of OH GOD WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR??
If you have multiples of things (for instance baking dishes, pots and pans, food containers) and you are in doubt which ones you use and need to keep: put a piece of paper in them with a date on it. When you use the item, remove the paper. After some period (several months, a year) check which papers aren't removed. It's a variation on quarantaining, with the advantage that you don't have to restore them elsewhere.
Love this idea
Could hang a tag around hangars w/ clothes as well with date last worn.
Good idea! Similar to the “put all your hangers backwards and only reverse when you wear the item “ idea.
Brilliant! Thanks!
Smart!
One of my favorites when I pull something out of the closet is, "whoa was I with me when I bought that?" No problem getting rid of those things
Just finished reading Essentialism and have been trying to apply when he says “If I didn’t have this opportunity, what would I be willing to do to acquire it?” To things I’m decluttering: “If I didn’t already have this item, what would I be willing to do to acquire it?” And a lot (most) of the time, the answer is that I would do nothing to acquire it. It makes it easier to let it go.
Wow, this is so good!!! I'll definitely try that.
Something else to consider is if you would actually be relieved if an item were to get broken and you had no choice but to throw it away. So often when that happens it takes away the guilt, fear, decision fatigue etc. of choosing to get rid of something. If we can ask ourselves if we would feel a sense of relief to never have to deal with that item again and our answer is yes, it doesn't deserve anymore of our time, attention and energy.
I'm a student of Dawn's thinking and she is changing our lives for the better everyday! Thank you Dawn and Tom!
I love this. This is spot on with my thinking.
Great way to look at it, Christine. I've had that secret wish myself a few times. 😏 Your post inspired me to write a poem:
CHESHIRE SMILE
Should I keep this?
Should I not?
I waiver, forth and back
There's really nothing wrong with it
---Not a blemish
Not a crack
Perhaps it's best to set it here
And think on it awhile
Was that a crash!
How sad is that!
Forgive my Cheshire smile
~Melinda❤😺
Relatable.
I used to stay with someone whose house was flooded by Harvey. So they lost a lot of stuff. Of course some of my stuff that I kept at the home was lost due to flood also. So sometimes, when I'm decluttering, especially paper stuff, I just toss it and say "oh no, oops, that got destroyed when Harvey flooded the home!"
I think one of the minimalists came up with the idea of spontaneous combustion. If this whatever were to spontaneously combust, how would you feel. If you'd feel relief, it's time to get rid of it!
I have all boys this is my declutter strategy. Sooner or later they will break everything I own and voila 😂
“Often if you are an analyzer, you’re also a rule-follower.” Ummmm, yep, you’re talking directly to me. Over analyzing the possibilities is easily my biggest hang-up with decluttering.
Same 🙋
Yep
I found this video may resonate with those on the Autism spectrum, or like me those who work with autistic learners.
I am an overthinker. Making choices is difficult. So yes rules make sense.
@@Saintacy I too am an over-thinker who has trouble making decisions. I re-wrote this response 3 times. 😌😂 Good grief!!!
@@MelindaPlainandSimple lol I can *so relate ☺️
Another rule for me is to remind myself how expensive is 1 sq meter of real estate in London, where we bought a house, which isn't even big enough for us as a family. The empty and clutter free space is more expensive then the stuff in it which don't serve me any purpose.
I know, right? When I think of the cost of the real estate I've been taking up with flotsam and jetsom!
I liked your idea of "it was an impulse buy, so it can be an impulse declutter." Lol.
I haven't bought hardly anything on impulse, though, because I'm poor, so... the 20/20 rule was hard to swallow, because you got rid of was it 6 folding fabric boxes, and yes, they were $5 each (but they're more like $10 now with X2 inflation going on) but $5 x6 boxes is $30... and replacement cost is currently $60... 😱 So the poverty-frugal part of me is freaking out...
If find the same problem now I'm retired. I was always taught by my parents and grandparents, who remembered the 1930s depression and aftermath here in Australia, to not to throw out anything that is or might be useful, so I feel guilty getting rid of something I no longer want or like just in case I might need it in the future and have to buy something similar again.
I would tailor the 20/20 rule to your budget. You know best.
Same here, and I was thinking that when she was talking about the folding boxes. Thanks so much for sharing!
Bingo!
If she gives those storage containers away, YOU may find them somewhere at a bargain price. Her give-away item became a blessing for you!
Over thinker here. 🙋🏻♀️ Yes, it does get easier with practice. Something that always helps me with the really hard stuff is to imagine the person who finds it in the thrift store and how happy and grateful they will be.
Yes! Love this!!
My overthinking goes a different way unfortunately. I think about the overflowing charity shops (what we call thrift stores) and how most of those clothes end up in a landfills and rivers in Africa or SE Asia 😩
@@MultiDonja That really is a problem too. I don’t think of this as much because I don’t over- buy clothes. I buy many things second hand as well. In the end, having less and wanting less means I buy less and hopefully the future of the landfill is better off.
@@MultiDonja - Or the bales of clothes are sent overseas and are SOLD to market traders who go into debt to buy them. Don’t think these things are being donated.
@@MultiDonja This is me! I spend so much time thinking I would be better wearing it again then it ending up in a Landfill. But I am going to focus on the why or the goal!
I use some other rules/questions of yours all the time:
Can I get by without it?
And the "poof" rule. If it suddenly disappeared would I be relieved or upset?
…. or even notice it’s gone? ☺️
Love the "poof" rule. To me that really gets to the heart of it 😊
I love your “puff rule”…
Ooh, I love that. Thanks so much for sharing :)
creative!
I’m in the middle layers of the onion of decluttering, where it is a little harder. I like your idea of less inventory. I don’t want to manage this stuff, and I don’t care what it cost me in the past, I don’t want it to cost me peace of mind now or in the future.
Hello Julie how are you doing?
Cheers
Your "Silent to do-list" has helped me a lot: I seriously ask myself what message the item sends me. I hear my things communicat to me, it's like in a cartoon: "Wear me, wear me" or "dust me, dust me" and my response to that often tells me VERY CLEAR weather I like that message or not! Bad conscience, excuses, a slight irritation AND IT IS GONE!
I often wonder how something as practical as getting rid of stuff can lift my spirit but this is the answer: my home now just sends me the POSITIVE messages!
Ugh, slight irritation. I hear that. My dishes were so chipped! As someone who has OCD issues (real issues), I finally bought a simple, white set and sold the remaining dishes that were in good condition and PRESTO! Irritation and anxiety gone! New dishes $50, old dishes sold = $15. So, a $35 fix! Worth it!
When I decluttered my shoes a few months ago, I came across some dress shoes. I don't wear them. I don't think I wore them even when I was working. In fact, I think I bought them in case I had to go to a wedding or something. Well, as it was, I had a wedding coming up in September, so even though I wanted to let them go, I kept them with the intention of letting them go after the wedding. Surprise! Not surprised! I ended up not wearing those shoes to the wedding after all...Time for them to bless someone else.
I find it really difficult to declutter, so I gave myself just a few rules.
T-shirts, dresses have to be high natural fibre content. I just look at the labels, man made fibre goes out.
I decided on a heel height I could wear on special occasions, anything higher, out.
I retire in 9 months, so as the season changes, I’m donating my work clothes.
I’m using space available as my decider, plus a deep ‘quarantine’ drawer.
One box at a time, that I can carry. Empty and reuse.
Where is yojr favorite place to buy cotton t-shirts?
I really like your decision on the heel height. You're so right. (I'm going to man up and get rid of my stilletos today). Grtz from Belgium!
@@danaerakstad7924 yeah I can’t find cotton anywhere. It’s annoying. That used to be all I ever wore.
I’m in Glasgow, Scotland, and I have found Organic Cotton, and recycled cotton, in a shop called Primark. Basic inexpensive clothes shop here! Also some cotton/linen mixes. Then I found 100% cotton sweaters in TK Maxx (I think it’s TJ Maxx in USA?)
@@normahl9086 thx! They don't want us to have any cotton here in the US lol
The rule of £20 really helped me declutter and take control of my home. When suffering clinical depression over the last 6-8 years particularly the last two years I started watching self improvement, motivational, and minimalism videos like yours but your channel really resonated and most of the books or speakers you spoke about I had recently found myself. I love your cheerful, positive, realistic videos. With help from videos like yours I've made my home more controllable and the depression is lifting, I am now managing well on half the antidepressants. I look forward to watching more and hope you and your family continue to thrive. Sending love from England 💕 Oh and I have to admit to getting goosebumps on two occasions when your sister has been reading scripture. I stopped going to church when the depression got really bad so it was really nice to have scripture speak to me again. God bless 💕
In the same boat here and I was wondering if she was a believer and you just confirmed it. He is so kind and knows I want freedom from anything that weighed me down unnecessarily. I'm excited to have help down this road and so happy I found this channel! I had a house fire 20 years ago and have a hard time letting go of things but these rules are reasonable and freeing 🕊💛
My friend was on 5 antidepressants she filled her home a 5 bedroom of Qvc HSN shopping stuff & buying made her happier but the side effect of a few of her drugs was gambling and spending for the thrills. .she takes out loans to pay her property taxes now and cant afford her water or utility bills in socialist CA
@@shadowprovesunshine oh that's awful about the fire. Glad this channel is helpful to you I also find 'decluttering at the speed of life' with Dana motivating. Good luck going forward. 💕
@@believewithmrsilly187 Thank you, I'll check out that channel. Same to you! God bless your New Year 🌻
Second you. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for the last 5 years. Felt like I could never keep up even though I have adhd and I'm constantly doing something. I found decluttering my home slowly has brought so much peace!
Been cleaning out/decluttering for a little over a year. Two things- 1 Have not missed ONE thing I’ve gotten rid of, and 2 Find the clearing process is happening in “layers.” As time goes on, I have become more confident to dispose of stuff!😊
Perfect is the enemy of the good - Voltaire
i do not understand that quote.
William, I think that it means perfection isn't possible, so being a perfectionist can stop you from doing something that is good. Trying to be perfect can be paralysing as you can't do something if it's just good enough.
I love how you talked about having your goal in mind. My goal is not low inventory. My goal is a home for everything. If it can't have a home, then it will have to go. Thanks for helping me clarify that.
I love it! I never thought of it that way but that is how I save money, “every dollar has a name,” ie a job. (Dave Ramsey- in case I’m suppose to give credit.) NOW: EVERY ITEM HAS A PLACE😊
Hi Dawn, Another rule I use is: does that object bring negative emotional energy with it? Example: does it remind you of a time in your life that you felt sad, embarrassing, guilty, scare? We do not need to keep object in our home, which may serve a purpose, look great on or which we have gotten a lot of compliments if that object brings back a negative emotional response within us. Let it go :)
That is a very good point and haven't heard it brought up before. Thanks!
I've held on for years to the emails and messages print outs my spouse sent to the people he was involved with outside our marriage. I felt the need to prove why I separated from this person, because I got blamed for so long for "abandoning" this person. The other day going through boxes, I came accross these papers. They represent pain and betrayal. I looked at my life and realized that the people I love and care about most, my kids, my parents... THEY KNOW what I've been through and they love and support me 100%.
I finally burned those papers.
For me, "rules" works the other way around: I can't help noticing what happens when I get rid of things, and that reality seems to have rules of it's own. If I get rid of something, I WILL need it within 3 days, and end up having to buy another one. If I can't find something [because of over-cluttering], and buy another one, the lost one will turn up within 3 days after getting a new one, regardless of how much time/ effort I spent trying to find it before getting a new one, usually turning the whole place upside down trying to find it.
Of course if I don't get rid of an item, I will probably never need it. So I now keep everything just so I won't need it.....kind of backwards, I know, but living in the twilight zone is hard. And of course no one believes me.
This speaks to me. I have been avoiding a small box of keepsakes from an old job where, even though I have happy memories there, mostly the stuff just reminds me of the many bad feelings I associate with that chapter in my career. It's funny that just tonight I was eyeing that box...I'm going to go through it tomorrow and be brutal. Thank you!!
@@jameseverett4976 I might suggest then establishing specific categories to your belongings so that you can always find a thing when you need it. This worked well for me! Once everything had a home that made sense to my brain ("If I need this, where will I look for it?") it became a lot easier to proceed forward into decluttering those difficult items with confidence!
Along the same lines, putting like items together is also important (so you know if you have 3 of one thing, for example).
Nearly 6 months ago my dear husband of 52 years died. I've been decluttering the past month. (Could just manage getting out bed and getting dressed most days till then) . The question that has helped me the most has been " will I miss this?" In the majority of times the answer is NO not at all. I am not letting many of his things loose yet but so much is going out the door this weekend when our church is collecting saleable stuff for a mission fund raiser.
They raise over $200k each year so I am thrilled to have the opportunity to contribute and declutter at the same time.
I still don't know what my next year looks like but the question is helping tremendously!!
And, Rose, thank you. You appear to have a kind giving heart and I needed to be reminded to give more and to ask the question again "Will I miss it?" 🥲
Previously when I would be gifted flowers for a special occasion I would have nowhere to properly display them that truly did them justice because of clutter. Now, because of you, I do have a place! Our kitchen table! I just get inexpensive flowers from grocery and put them on my table and it's a sure-fire way to keep this flat surface clear! It works for me and it's a win-win reward. 😊
I love the make it pretty tip! It really works!
Just today, I switched out my capsule wardrobe from Summer to Fall/Winter. Never mind that’s it’s going to be 90 on Friday. 😂
I debated and debated about a certain sweater. I love the color, it’s perfect and I love the weight of the knit. Good brand too. But the sleeves don’t look good and it has to be belted and it annoys me every time I wear it.
I got it at a thrift store with my sister, a super good memory.
I finally told myself today:
“If you’d never walked in that thrift store that day you’d never have owned it anyway and your life would be just fine. Let. It. Go.”
I did this to some other items too and I was finally able to weed down some things I’ve been hanging on to that are good but not great.
I have some awkward holes in my wardrobe right now but something will come along that’s better.
Here in the Gulf Coast I can't get rid of summer clothes when it's winter. One day it's 80 degrees, the next it's 40.
I’m glad to read this! I’m having a problem with some thrift store items I love but can’t wear anymore :/
Regarding the “Endowment Effect” , just take a trip a thrift store or fb marketplace and see how little china, crystal, furniture etc. is going for. In some cases they can’t give it away!
I wrote these rules down & I'm going to make another pass at every room, one at a time!
I learned another great question to ask from Rachel Jones/Nourishing Minimalism, & I use it when I get stuck....she said that she once had a plumbing catastrophe & her basement was flooded with sewage. Her question: Would I be willing to scrub poo off this in order to keep it?
(Edit: It's 5 days later and I have packed FIVE more boxes to donate! I can really see the difference and it feels wonderful.)
🤣 that is an excellent question! Ewww! So many things would go! Love it!
Can you please share them in the comments? That makes the rule much more accessible to people. Thank you 🙏
@@himaureen 1) One year rule -have I used this in the last year?
2) 20/20 rule -can this be replaced for $20.00 and in 20 minutes?
3) Would I buy this again?
4) Am I keeping this out of guilt? -then it makes me feel bad & my home should make me feel good
Goal: Low inventory = Low maintenance
Dawn, hang that picture with command strips. Then if you decide to take it down there are no holes from nails.
That was my thought too.
They ripped my wall apart. I’ll never use them again!
I have missing paint and sheet rock in the shape of those little devils all over my house. My son in law when they lived here put them all over their and their kids bedrooms. I also have a white painted cabinet door stripped down to the wood where the stick on child latch was attached! And my front door has the residual glue still from the same mechanism. He also had some on their shower wall that only the steamer could remove. I told my daughter when they moved out into the house they bought don't... DON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO YOUR HOUSE!
@@krijoe3433 Wow, I have never had that problem.
I have used command strips in houses with dry wall and with plaster-and-lath walls and have not had the problems described below. Maybe try them somewhere discrete before using them extensively?
You read my mind and spoke straight to my struggle! I've just found you over the last couple of weeks and you're changing my life in such a good way! I had to stop the video and thank you before I lose my nerve to comment. I've been going back and watching your past videos daily. The opening of your video today is EXACTLY where I'm at in my decluttering process. Thanks for taking the time to show those of us that learn best by watching an example. I'm praying for a long lasting and far reaching blessing over everything you put your heart and hand too.
This is so kind of you, THANK YOU Molly -- this means more than you know and I'm really excited for you -- it just keeps getting better and better!!!
Welcome Molly! 💜💜💜
That is so kind of you to utter such a prayer for another person. May you be blessed as well, just for being a blessing :-)
Rules (or guidelines) are great for keeping us on track.
Another helpful method of deciding is holding up 2 similar items-tops, pants, decorative items,etc.- and asking myself, “As long as I have this one, will I ever choose to use that one?” Slowly and surely the items that don’t make the cut leave my house.
Here's the thing: I've let stuff go that I thought would be super easy to replace and then found that I couldn't. Example: I got rid of some flannel pajamas, purchased from Walmart for $10 per pair, thinking that I would just buy new ones in the fall. Surprise, because Walmart had zero flannel pjs that next fall. I could get some in another store for $40 per pair, but I had in no way planned to buy two $10 pair of pjs for $80! I also take a petite size in pants, coats, and jackets, and in case you haven't noticed, many retailers have severely curtailed the amount of petite clothing they offer; some have stopped offering petite clothing altogether. I can't bring myself to get rid of much of anything now because I don't know if I'll ever be able to get a replacement.
As long as you have a wardrobe or drawer in which these clothes that fit you can easily be stored, I can’t see any sense in even considering throwing them out. Surely minimalism isn’t about waste or discomfort, those flannel PJ’s were something you would wear for half a year, so deserved a place in your home. I wish these clearly thought through words were as easy to apply when I try to make decisions about clothing that may need to go…….particularly a couple of really beautiful high heeled shoes! I do hope you find some lovely PJ’s this Winter.
I think the 20/20 rule applies here. You can't replace it for $20 and you can't replace it in 20 minutes.
But she thought she could. I had a similar issue when I got rid of pure cotton jumpers (sweaters) a few years ago because I thought that they were looking a bit worn. They're really not so easy to come by now, and they're much more expensive than they used to be. Cotton is much more comfortable than man made fibres and I find wool makes me itch (and it's also expensive).
So I am keeping my other cotton jumpers, even though one is also rather worn now. Besides, there's something comforting about an old, baggy jumper with old jeans and warm socks on a cold day :)
Also when you find the "perfect"pair of pants, or dress, have a seamstress make some in your chosen fabric...if you don't yourself sew.
Bingo!
I am decluttering my homeschool books, and it is harder than I thought it would be. Three of my children used certain books, but the last one has learning difficulties and will not be using the same curriculum. These book series have been a daily part of our lives for the last 16 years. Throughout the decluttering I have tried to think logically and use my own set of rules to determine whether to keep an item or not. I have actually had to treat them not just as favorite books but also as sentimental items. I have decided to sell the newer books and give away the well used ones to bless new homeschool moms as someone did for me when I first started. Wish me luck...I may have to have a few tearful moments.
I get this. Finally started decluttering the homeschool stuff and then Covid happened and everyone was scrambling for resources. My "baby" is 31! :)
Maybe a library would take them
Preschool mom here- may I ask what the books were? Or any reccomendations?
@@shadowprovesunshine They were mostly just a variety of both fiction and nonfiction children's books that my youngest said she did not care to keep, and a few text like Life of Fred Mathmatics I knew would not work with her. I recommend for a preschooler to simply do life. Visit the library to pick out a variety of books you think they will like and let them pick their own out. Sing, read together, watch fun things together, take care of pets, the environment, and your neighbor, explore the world around you whether that be your back yard or park, the Dollar Tree, museums, relatives, friends, places of worship... Encourage lots if opportunities for both social play with a variety of children but also have plenty of time for alone time and cuddle time. Let it be very organic. I have three boys who are 20, 18, and 16...I did a lot of just playing with them especially when they were in the elementary grades. I made sure they could read and did Singapore Math when they were ready. We used Mystery of History and Story of the World...lots of activities. And Apologia Science. And a huge variety of stuff for reading and writing. Judge your own child on what THEY enjoy doing and how they learn. Some like my daughter who is 11 likes and needs workbooks, some will enjoy and need to be Unschooled. Try different things. We explored taekwondo, American Heritage Girls, and Royal Rangers also. My girl likes to cook, play in the creek, knits hats using a loom..Your kiddos will all be different, and they will change also throughout their childhoods. Focus on character more than knowledge. And don't freak if they choose a path that may not be expected. My eldest is a gamer and makes good money doing it. Do what is good for your children and your family and circumstances. Blessings...and enjoy the ride. (Sorry if this is way more than you needed...I just felt that I wanted to tell someone what I wish someone had told me.)
@thelma Katherine your last message resonates so beautifully. Yes to all of it 💕
As we get closer to retirement I ask myself, " Is something our adult child will want, or get paid a good price if they chose to sell it?" Often the answer is no, and that makes it easier to pitch or donate.
My husband is motivated donate his clothes when he thinks of the person who will find his things at the thrift store. It takes the sting out of getting rid of "perfectly good" stuff!
My husband grew up with 3 shirts in high school. He now has a huge collection of shirts. Whenever he runs into someone in need, he donates to them. He is the most giving person ever. I need to once again go thru closets, etc. I’m pretty organized but need less to “inventory”. Thanks for the help.
I love the question - Is this part of my past or part of my future? Great tips for decluttering, Dawn!
Hello Barb Kandel how are you doing?
Profound🌠
I have a blouse hanging in my closet that I've worn ONCE! I was told it looked cute but made me look FAT! Unfortunately, they had a point. ANYWAY....after watching your video I've given myself "permission" to donate it. I can't tell you how much better I feel! Thank you.
Yes! We don't need anything like that in our closet! So glad you're passing it on ;)
Sounds like you need to declutter whoever said that to you
Maybe you just looked "fluffy" ?
As per Gifts so the recipient doesn't have to declutter later: I'm waiting for the idea of giving a more expensive food item you know the person LOVES but only treats themselves to once or twice a year to become a trend.
Maybe it's a local company that makes it, maybe it's organic, or simply costs more than they normally budget for that food item. I feel that is a nicer gift than something they have to "deal with". And if it's a family run company you're supporting by making the purchase you as the giver get to also feel good for helping a small business.
Great idea. I know of people that would enjoy a $16 steak or a good bottle of EVOO. Or even a gift bag full of keto and gluten free goodies 🤔
These items are expensive.
Thank you for the tip.
I love it!!
When my child had a life-amending Heath crisis the one gift I remember is a dear friend driving up to my porch to hand me a specialty coffee from a local coffee shop through the door. She didn’t say a word, but knew I loved it and wouldn’t be going to get one any time soon. I don’t remember any other gifts from that time, but I remember my coffee treat ❤
I have some guidelines, but my one hard and fast rule is that if I ome across something I forgot I owned, I don't need it anymore. Out it goes!
An area I struggle with a lot is half finished projects, or things with an unclear future, like your picture scenario
"Half-finished projects." Yep. I need to start following rules for that, too. Project supplies take up so much space.
@@kerryh.5419 and they are hard to find both the time and space for anyway. A way to keep them contained & off my bed, dresser, table, etc.
I had some work done on my house yesterday to repair termite damage. And because I was paying for a load to the dump, I decided to clean out my garage and take advantage of having stuff hauled away. Amazing what I got rid of and how much neater & more organized the garage is and I can actually get at the gardening tools and supplies now.
Best part was the cleanup, because when I had the garage roof replaced 2 yrs ago, no one told me the debris it was going to make on top of everything beneath! And I dreaded how I was going to clean it up. Talk about nagging me every time I would get in my car... What a relief to be done with it!
When I'm waivering, I remind myself: I DON'T WANT TO DUST THIS OR THE BOX IT'S STORED IN!
I've come up with a couple of rules for me, while trying my journey...
If it has dust, it's gone. Even if the container er has dust, but not the item. Apparently it wasn't THAT important to me.
Another is, I'm not doing the single use items anymore. If it's a storage bowl, that doesn't have a lid, it's just a bowl, and I have plenty of them. No "popcorn" machine that only does that.
Getting rid of inventory BEFORE buying new. No more buying spaghetti sauce, if I already have 2. EVEN if it's on sale.
I'm staying out of T. J. Mazz, Homegoods, etc. Yes, I'm remodeling but less "STUFF" = more "SPACE" to breathe.
I agree, I have move in to my Dads (80s) to look after him at the moment (family farm). The kitchen has no appliances (toaster only) and no oven. When I first got here my attitude was I can hardly cook anything.... 6 mths down the track. Cooking cake in large saucepan as the oven. I have a wooden spoon, whisk, a large sharp knife, spatula, egg lift, grater (more dints than flat surface lol), mixing bowl, frypan, 3 saucepans. And am amazed at all the different things that are made.
I am often asking myself 'how would Granny have done this'💓
It seems like being minimal is different from being frugal. Frugal people keep everything. It does seem wasteful to get rid of something you might have to buy again but I think you’re right that most likely, you will not buy it again. This was helpful, thanks!
I’m having my floors replaced at the end of October. I have to have everything off the floor…..such a pain, like moving without going anywhere.☹️. It’ll be great when it’s done. But what happened is I have storage boxes under my bed full of things from when my kids were little guys. I told one of them I still have his hat from a vacation when he was about 8. He asked my WHY? I told him he was so cute wearing it! Lol. That lead to asking him about his tae kwon do medals, swimming medals, etc. He has no interest in having any of it! Kinda broke my heart a minute but I realize I’ve been keeping these because I cherish the memories. I can do that without all that stuff taking up space. Soooo it’s all going away. I hope I’ll be ok! 🙃
Hello Vickie how are you doing?
Take pictures and let the stuff go
@@danarzechula3769 that’s exactly what I need to do. 🙂
@@danarzechula3769 Ok good. Where are you writing from?
@@vickiecoles8214 A friend of mine has worked in a museum. Her idea is to take a well-lit picture of the item, then curate the memory.
•Date
•Source/Origin
•Description (as detailed as you’d like to be) of the item. Can include specifics on things like color (the pic might not capture the ‘warm mahogany’), or you can’t see the little scratches in the back or the small chips in it, or even how it smells or feels to the touch.
•Key thoughts/feelings (of the giver, of the item, of the place it was received, what was happening in life at the time)
Put the picture and information on index cards to file, or in a scrapbook. The index card box(es) and/or scrapbook(s) will take up less space than all the items. It makes a neat way to reminisce more often, and also to share it with someone else.
Edit: you also can upload the pics and info as a backup. Then you’re at less risk of flood or fire destroying the items OR the curated memories, and you can browse on the computer as well.
Please have Tom do a minimalism video for the husbands with the tools 😁😂. Tom would probably say “No!!” Lol. But I think it might help a husband or two. 💙💙
Amen to that!
I spent the lockdown cleaning out the basement full of my late husband's tools and stuff I knew I would never use. My knees ached for a couple of days from climbing those stairs so many times, but it felt so good to get rid of all that stuff!
The greatest impact is the Quarantine Bins and putting items away that you have a really hard time with. As they get out of sight, you lose attachment to them and also see how you feel living with less. While there is no pressure to getting rid of things immediately.
My problem is with my office. Decluttering it has been horrible. Plus, I finally learned that, as an ADHD adult, I finally understand at a whole different level why decluttering is so difficult for me. I'd love to have you bring in a person who has ADHD and has successfully decluttered.
I have ADHD and give myself permission to declutter one small area at a time, like the utensil drawer or the linen closet. My goal is to declutter SOMETHING every day. It is slowly getting easier. I focus on what is bugging me the most in that moment. I’ve been working like this for about 2 months and it’s already made my life SO much less stressful. Although I’ll admit that I have no clue where to start in the garage 😮
@@TheFunctionalMom Kass at Clutterbug is as ADHD as they get. Look her up. She and Minimal Mom are friends, FYI.
My teaching job has done this to my apartment
Clutterbug is a RUclipsr that talks about having ADHD and how to declutter. 🤗
You can see it in her behavior. 😅
I have ADHD 58yrs and a hoarder. We can do this, I am doing it successfully.
This video made me laugh because I've always been an over-thinker! Among my excuses are: Oh, this wallpaper sample is so pretty, I could use it to line a drawer; oh, this ribbon is pretty, I could use it for a craft (said someone who buys yarn, kits, etc., and never makes them); I have to buy a bookshelf then I'll be organized; I love these shoes, I just can't get rid of them...and on and on it goes! I hope I listen to your sage advice. Thanks for the video!!
Trying to not think about this amazing new idea of finding wallpaper to line drawers.....
I use freezer paper to line drawers - also easy & cheap to replace. But what is up with ribbons? I don't even know why I collect them...
Yes!! it gets so much easier the further along you get! i have completely decluttered our ENTIRE house and now i don't even think twice about getting rid of things! i also find myself being WAY more intentional on what i am buying. Surprise! I buy way less things ;)
As I’ve minimized my belongings I’ve learned to feel more pain when I purchase something vs. feeling pain when I declutter something. This shift in mindset has helped me so much with my finances and my ability to declutter with ease. :)
Agreed! Now I don't buy something unless I really, really love it and will use it frequently, adding value to my life
yes yes yes this is the trick -> feel the pain of purchasing the item first and of going back home with extra shopping bags. Last month I ordered clothing for over 700€ and immediately I felt very sick at my stomach. I can afford them, money is no problem, but I only made the order because I needed a pair of pans which were priced at 100€. I send the order back and kept the pans. I would never forget the sick feeling when I made that purchase.
Long post alert ! Sorry ! I can throw ANYTHING away EXCEPT sentimental things. I sat in my basement yesterday all day long trying to declutter 12 totes of what I call “the happiest years of my life”, and I mean that statement literally. I have one 33 year old son ( only child ) that took me seven years to get pregnant with. There are no words to describe the joy that child brought to my life ! I kept every single card, drawing, school paper, gift, pictures, etc that had anything to do with him. When I pick something like that up it takes me back to a time that I treasure and I think “ when I throw this away, I’ll never ever be able to see it again and feel that feeling”. I do not live in the past at all, it truly just gives me that feeling again of how much fun we had and how much I love him. He was/is a special person and I have THE SWEETEST cards and notes and things he made me that melt my heart . It is just SO much stuff though in my basement. I realize I would feel better with a declutter Ed basement because the totes do drive me crazy, BUT I just can’t get the mindset of how to handle this. I know once it’s gone, it’s gone. How do you handle things like this? I can’t even pick just special things, toys, notes, pictures, because they all feel special to me. Sometimes I find myself wishing I had not kept it all to start with. He wants a few things but not much of it. Any ideas how to work past this?
A decluttering challenge I have that I have yet to hear anyone address….it is my thinking or ‘mindset’ that is kind of the opposite of one of your points…the one where you say I ‘mindlessly’ bought this ( impulse buy). I have not had a lot of money all of my adult life so I have always thought a lot about almost every purchase before I buy. This means that what I have bought in the past is usually of a high quality and has lasted literally sometimes decades. So the problem comes when I TRY to apply say the 20/20 rule for example. Could I technically replace the item? Yes,. However, if/ when I would need to replace it I know the quality of the item I could purchase now days is not going to be made of the same quality ( planned obsolescence) and last like the item I currently own. So I feel like I ‘have to’ hold on to it. An example of this that I already regret a lot, is a sewing machine. I had. It was from when I was just a teen and sewed almost all of my own clothes. I went to university and then career and it sat around for many years and it did have some minor working problems. It was a moderate to slightly high end machine at the time of purchase. When I did a big declutter about 2 years ago when I first discovered minimalism, I decided not to get it fixed ( even looked at) and someone did tell me it costs more to fix than to buy a new one. So I got rid of it. I recently wanted to take up sewing again and I got a new sewing machine as a gift and thought I could make do with a fairly basic machine so they bought me the one I hinted at. I tried to do a few small starter projects and quickly realized I need to upgrade as it didn’t have some pretty basic features I was used to having and using. So I was able to pay some more and upgrade. I ended up with the best brand that any of my local shops carry in terms of quality and well known brand and a slightly better than basic model. I have really tried to be patient and I keep trying to tell myself my frustration and issues are just a ‘break in ‘ period and I just need to get used to a new machine. But No, it’s been almost a year and several projects later and this machine is just not the same quality ( and therefore ease of function) as my old machine. I really wish now I would have just got my old machine repaired. Long ‘story’/ example but this is also a struggle I have with several other items ( clothing is another one) . I have difficulty ‘letting go’ of items’ because I know I will never be able to purchase the same QUALITY of item if I need to in the future. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help as to how to ‘obercome’ this mindset/ obstacle. it’s harder to ‘let go’ of what I have when I know getting a new version of the same item means it will be of a far lesser quality and will not last or perform as well as the current item. It’s like I’m ‘attached’ to the ‘security’ of knowing how something works for me and the reliability or dependability of the quality item. Buying new/ a replacement almost always means being let down, disappointed or having to settle or make do in some way. I really run into this problem in my wardrobe trying to ‘replace’ my well used and worn out items.
I can relate to this and it is hard. I'm trying to buy less but better quality and second hand. Definitely things aren't made as well as they used to be even 30 years ago.
So I'm watching this video and I had to pause it to comment...I've always agreed when Dawn asks, " Do I want to manage this extra item if I keep it?" But I also just had an epiphany! Will I even REMEMBER that I have it?! I might remember that I have 4 extra things, but will I remember 30 things that I held onto that I don't use everyday?? NO WAY! So I usually improvise without the item or buy it again if I really need it --which I usually don't! Even if I DO remember that I have that item, I usually tear apart my garage or my closet TRYING to find it and make a giant, frustrating mess! Counter-productive for sure! Either way, keeping the item(s) just isn't worth it for me!!! I say, let Goodwill, Walmart or Amazon "store" them for me! Better yet, maybe I can borrow it from someone? And they can borrow what I've got when they need it! Everybody saves space AND money.
I am a chronic overthinker...and you totally nailed it!! The one thing I do know is that I'm more focused in the morning and less inclined to overtime anything. Thanks for telling me what I already knew but wouldn't admit!!
I am a thinker and decluttering is more difficult for me, so this was very helpful. I have found that once I decide to get rid of something, I need to go to the donation center fairly quickly or I may change my mind or try to justify keeping the item because I thought of a purpose for it. One thing that helps me is that over the last 20 or so years, I can only remember two times where someone asked me if I had something, and I had already donated it. It made me feel sad that I couldn't help them, but I also figured out that there is no way to predict what we will need in the future. An obstacle for me has been that my decluttering is in the basement and it's a dirty job, so I really have to be in the mood to work on it. Your 5-minute rule has helped me here. It's amazing how much can be done in 5 minutes!!
The overthinking for me isn't in items I've bought, but in those that have been given to me, especially those handed down items. It's one thing to have an item that reminds you of a grand-parent, but it's quite another to be the guardian/steward of family legacy items. I will never use a silver service set but how am I suppose to let go of an item that has been in my family for generations? If this was the only thing, sure I could make a place to honor it in my house, but I have SO MANY THINGS like this.
Hello Lucinda how are you doing?
I'm 32 and have basically all of our families belongings that have been passed down through generations because I have no living parents nor grandparents and everything came to my house to be kept. My house started to feel like a shrine/museum housing their history/memories and didn't feel like my own displaying my growing family's memories/treasures etc. Most things were handmade by them so it made it hard to get rid of anything. I gave away what I could to other family members, but it still felt Iike too much. I recently decided to only keep one item per family member to represent them in that manner. For example, my grandpa made wooden vases and bowls on his lathe. I had a lot of them. I decided to keep one little vase that was given to me that had a memory attached to it and a written note with it. I had a collection of family bibles from my mom (she collected bibles and hymnals), but only kept the one that had the family geneology written inside. My grandma made a lot of ceramics, I only kept one pitcher vase that I can use to put flowers in. I try to only keep things that can fit nicely in my little curio entertainment cabinet that I can see and isn't cluttery or things that I actually use.
@@shayleanwalters9233 Great ideas. Thanks so much!
You've helped me so much with sentimental items. I take pictures now of the items I over think. (my heels that I will never wear again) My collection of milkglass (given to me) My Fire King glass collection that I started at age 14. Then sentimental items of my son that passed last October. His handprint & baby book & bible are what I have left. It is freeing, but takes time.
Oh my gosh!! I love love old glass. I cannot part with it.....yet
Sorry for your loss! 😔♡
Sounds like you have a good head on those shoulders. Things cannot replace memories, but a few things can spark memories. Sorry for your sons passing.
May the soul of your son, by the ✝️ mercy of God, rest in peace. 💕
So sorry for your loss. My son died at 37 from a heart attack on Easter Sunday 2 years ago. I cherish the things he gave me and other memories. I can't part with any of that right now, probably never.
Can I just tell you I LOVE YOU!?! (And your totally adorable hubby and kids too!l But seriously, I have been "peeling away at our onion" and I every time I go to a space that has been decluttered it bring me so much joy! The space and PEACE I gain is exponentially more valuable than the "things" that I've been holding onto. Every video you make is so helpful to your followers.
Feel the same here!
We live in Texas on 50 plus acres and feed the hummingbirds, song birds, Turkey, our pond duckies you name it so I thought our neighbor would enjoy a hummingbird feeder as a gift as I adore the dozens of birds ours draw in the Spring.
Her comment as she gifted it back…. was a reminder that not everyone feels the same way we may feel. She said “ I do not accept things that end up being a chore for me or guilt if I don’t do it”…….oh my goodness, things that bring us joy may feel like a burden to someone else!! I could totally respect that she is protecting her space!! Such a great lesson to protect your peace, whatever that looks like!! God Bless from The Hill Country!!
I have found through my decluttering journey the "storage solutions " are actually contributing to the problem. As I declutter, out goes the clutter and the storage containers used. If I use the storage containers or "storage solutions " someplace else I am just giving myself permission to hold on more stuff.
Dawn can you do a video for older folks like me that are dealing with health issues and chronic pain? I inherited my parents things and have steadily been purging but there are some painful memories associated with them. It's hard to get everything done and I get depressed and very critical of myself. I'm sure I'm not alone with these issues and your upbeat and encouragement are so positive. God bless you and your precious family.
God bless you, Brenda! I feel your pain! Give yourself permission to spend 15 minutes decluttering, then reward yourself with something that makes you smile (maybe watching another encouraging video by Dawn!) What you get done is farther than you were. Be gentle with yourself….especially when dealing with painful memories! Know that you are not alone and God is your Rock, your Refuge, and Strength!
I just tossed 5 sentimental coffee mugs that were tormenting me, loaded the dishwasher and hung a new clock. Kitchen looks nice. Thanks for the motivation, Dawn😊
Years ago we bought a VERY expensive large set of waterless pots and pans and skillets with everything that could go with them. One of the skillets had a grill-like bottom that I never used. I finally gave it to my daughter, thinking she could use it for her big family of four boys. She never used it and gave it back to me. I held onto it for another year, thinking I could never donate it because it cost over $400! Finally I realized that I could never get that money back and that the huge pan was taking up way too much space, and I donated it to a thrift store owned by friends. THAT was a big lesson to me. Even though I paid a lot for it, it was of no value to me. So why keep it? That is the hardest thing I’ve had to give up, merely because of its cost.
I love what you said about associating a specific person with a burden because of the gifts they give. I have felt tension with someone in my life for a few years now and I realized that this is one reason why. Thank you!
I was a chronic over thinker. I have found that with practice in my decluttering journey it has gotten easier. Progress not perfection….. I have decluttered in layers, and my husband is on board now as well.
It's even better to have a spouse/life partner on board. It's so much easier!
“Keeping a shirt only because it works for Zoom calls” really resonates with me. I have worn tops to make videos that I would never wear out of the house just so I can look different on my channel. Thanks for validating me 😍
I think I am definitely an high level over thinker and get nothing done.. it took me watching 2 hours of video today on cleaning to just get me motivated to organize & throw few small things .. 😊
This is exactly me today! I guess the only good thing about it is, that I completely recognize it, acknowledge it, and allow myself to do this so that I can actually get good tips or as she says rules, to actually get done the things I want to do!😊
I am the same. Keep up the good work. Trust me, it gets easier.
"If you are an Analyzer you are probably also a rule follower." Ding, ding, ding!! You just checked me and I loved it!
Guilty as charged! I'm an over-thinker that needs rules. Clothes and shoes are still the most difficult category for me, but one rule I stick to is my chosen color palette: if it's not one of my "good" colors, then it's much easier to get rid of. (Also I don't buy things that aren't "my colors" anymore)
I really like the mentality of "less inventory to manage", it's so true that the clutter in my home is something I'm always managing, and I'm working on having less, so that I have less to think about and stress about. Thank you for all your videos and helpful rules. I also definitely tend to over-think things.
I donated a bunch of picture frames I no longer use to a women's recovery home! The manager of the home was so grateful!
I had to get over the hump with the question "Would I replace it if there was a fire?" 🤔
“If I only wear it in Zoom calls...” 😆
I have always used the one year rule, but the year2020 changed that for me. I didn't wear so many of my clothes because I couldn't go any where, so now I'm on the two year plan. Hopefully next year will be different!
Same here!
Yes, I think we all can delete 20/21 in our lives..
I so agree that the last two years do not count.
I just cleaned my large freestanding mirror with magnification that I rarely use. I took alot of time searching for the right one. It even has a light. I found a hand size one. I am giving it to a friend that is excited to receive it. It took up alot of space under the sink. What a relief. I am down to almost being able to move into a 8.5 x 24 ft tiny home. If it happens I am ready. You have given me the constant motivation to continue decluttering. Thank you Dawn.
This reminds me of a motto I came up with years ago and use often! "Start with your stuff, not your space." Meaning... it is tricky to get rid of anything organizational, but like a larger purse we will probably try and figure out a way to fill it! So... for instance... I would never want to buy a set of shelves and then figure out what to put on them! I would want to have the stuff first and then go purchase the shelves as a direct solution to the problem! I am raising seven kids on a farm... 5 biological and two little boys we've just unexpectedly added! I am so excited to teach my kids that we don't want stuff, we want FUN! And we want it to be really quick and easy to get out the door and go HAVE fun! I've helped lots of people over the years get organized and this is always a red flag for me when they show me some type of shelving or basket or organizational containers and I can see their wheels turning trying to figure out what to use them for! That is backwards! Thank you for what you're doing!!! GOD IS USING YOU!!! 🎉
I keep reminding myself how excited someone else will be when they find what I have “blessed” them with. It’s a gift, what a lovely surprise for them. It’s a lot easier to donate it when I remind myself of this.
I'm an over-thinker too. When I finally got a basket full of clothes to donate I asked my husband if he could approve what I did (to get some emotional support) he asked me to put them on to tell me so I modeled all the clothes for him and instead of agreeing with me he told me he loved how I looked on all of them so there they are back in my closet 🤦🏻
You’re absolutely right about having us write down the rules. Hand-writing things is a good way to make an impression on your brain.
I'm mostly in agreement but I was so grateful to my mom for hoarding her fabulous 70's and 80's wardrobe for me and subsequently my daughters to discover decades later!
This isn't a rule but a question i ask myself: if I was moving to a place that had half the space of our current place would this item make the cut? And is it worth carrying to that new place? Having moved a few times in the past several years (and again this weekend!) this has been very helpful.
That's the thing I'm trying! I imagine I'm getting a tiny house and stuff has to go...it helps but toys are so hard for me!
And lately with all the horror stories of moving companies outsourcing their moves to shady subcontractors, and people's things disappearing for 3-4 months, or sometimes forever, it really makes you think about what you would pay to put on a truck and what is so valuable you would make it fit in the vehicle that you are personally driving.
@@Random_ness Or a boat! Would you pay hard earned money to store it indefinitely?
Perfect timing! Today I plan on decluttering our bedrooms - things strewn across my dresser or sitting on the floor, etc. These rules will help me a lot since I do tend to over think when trying to let things go. When this video popped up I had to watch, glad I did. I'm in my 60s, live in a small house and just want to simplify my environment so I can concentrate on the things I like doing.
I love that the rules came with some solid examples of when you might use them. The picture, deconstructing to sentimental versus a frame which may be purged. The unused item with tags still on. This was a great video format.