I’m not there yet but they probably meant stake but that won’t stop me from assuming they just took out a medium rare steak from a massive grill in their room.
@@Hardcherrysweetie I kept thinking of meat and I thought I was stupid for not knowing how stake was spelled until this comment (I'm not a native speaker, so thanks for this lmao)
“Writing's not easy. That's why Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy, and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message and the word choice is bland.”
@@Machalily (holy hell my brain cells have given up after just 10 minutes into the video and couldn't spell Microsoft for a minute there) Microsoft had an update a few months ago and suddenly has really good spelling, grammar and punctuation suggestions now. Not often it's wrong. But yeah, I gotta reinstall Grammarly.
I’m trying to imagine Dumbledore screaming ‘what are you doing motherfuckers?!’ And at first it felt ridiculous until I remembered that scene in the goblet of fire.
dumbledore asked c a l m l y harry HARRY DIDJA PUT UR NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE *casually strangles star student* harry: no dumby: oh ok then HES INNOCENT GUYS
And a gryffondor as well of course. And preppy, not goth at all ! Cause the least emo, dark, maybe a lil goth character is definitely Snape right? Right?
@@betelgeux6010 i like to believe it's actually a one-person show, "Raven" was a side plot, making the author's notes their own story and the story itself was written poorly to make way for wonderful writing quips like this Evidence: "Making out against a tree keenly" is not a sentence anyone who writes like this would actually attempt to write, "mediocre dunces" is too good for someone this hard into gothic culture, the gratuitous clothing descriptions but not describing the "deprezzing book" she read after slitting her wriztz, you get the idea
It's like they were written by Warhammer 40k Orks. I'm not even joking, you could tell me an actual Ork wrote them and I'd believe you without a moment's hesitation
what kills me is how at the start of the fanfic ebony is described to be wearing pink fishnets and having a coffin with hot pink material on the inside then later when hagrid offers her pink "roses" she tells him that she hates the color pink this fanfic is very good with continuity
Good luck for your writing journey! As long as you try to improve, you will, so just keep on writing and I'm sure you'll get better. Just remember that reading up on writing advice can help you more than you think, if you actually implement it. (Don't be like me basically.)
@@densejereje214 Honestly, I wouldn't worry so much if your fanfic is up to 'AO3 level'. There's some awful stuff on there, but also the users are SO supportive. I uploaded a first chapter of an AC Odyssey fanfic I wrote (and never continued lol), which was the first bit of writing I have ever done, and although it wasn't very good the comments were so nice!
I know right that is like part of the definition of Mary sue and she also gave her depression as a flaw but depression is closer to a mental medical condition than a flaw
The fic is named after a song (my immortal by Evanescence) and Amy Lee (singer) is mentioned in the opening paragraph. Lee's sister got her to read it and she said it was hilarious. Just a fun fact
ngl I want a whole HBO production of My Immortal that's completely acted seriously but everyone does everything exactly as it is in the book and there's the author's notes as skits
My favorite things are the sheer number of times Dumbledore is called Dumblydor (I might call him that from now on) and the fact that P!ATD is miswritten as P?ATD making the band name infinitely funnier because now they’re questioning whether or not you should be panicking at the disco
@@genericname2747 HA! YOu think you're SOOO clever and FUNNY panicking in my disco! You just wait. When I'm done with you, panic is going to seem as sweet as honey
Don’t forget the number one rule for Mary Sues is managing to almost die even though they are immortal and doing it “sexily” and “seductively” Because continuity can’t exist
Just search getting sold to the mafia au It was will wait her be “Mr.bad boy who si toxic “oh that guy is nice to me but I need to choose the bad boy “
Actually one thing that lends itself well to this all being a troll is the fact that the spelling gets progressively worse the longer the story goes on (even the authors notes get WORSE SOMEHOW) I truly believe that this was fully intended to be terrible.
@@katerinachatziroditi9996 oh really? I didn’t know that, thanks for the info. I swear it was her though cause she updated the account and then published a book about how the story was actually a way for her to try and find her brother after they were both put in the foster care system and were separated.
If it WAS satire, can you imagine how fun it would have been to write? Just like spelling words wrong, completely fucking up canon - it must feel so f r e e i n g
When I write I have some scrap paper next to me so if I get bored or get a writer's block I can just vomit what ever comes into my head on to the paper and it honestly helps me
Lol true At first I thought this was a troll story or satire because I was like, “Nobody could possibly write anything this terrible!” I was wrong lmfao
Listened/watched this while coloring my hair… unsurprisingly, the colour came out darker than planned, and I burned my scalp. "What u gon do???" I shrugged sexily while goffikally criing tearz of blood down my pallid face
and random authors notes that explain "darkness is ginny (jenny)" or sexualize bisexual men.. and of course how many times they have to say ebony's full name
I think this project STARTED as an actual, young goth girl, genuinely trying her best to be creative... but failing miserably.... Then, at some point, she realized that it was truly awful, and had some friends gather to help her turn it into satire. That, or someone else hijacked the story somehow. Frankly, either makes sense.
Well, I highly doubt she was an actual goth for the simple reason that none of the bands she mentioned so frequently (at least by the point I’m at in this reading) were actual goth rock bands. Good Charlotte and Simple Plan are pop-punk; Slipknot, Linkin Park, and Evanescence are alt-metal (though Evanescence at least take more influence from gothic metal); MCR are emo; and Marilyn Manson seem to be either industrial rock or dark glam rock of sorts depending on the album.
@@eeyorehaferbock7870 internet teen goth culture in the early 2000s and 2010s was a lot of those bands and aesthetic and wasnt the same as the actual goth subculture
the way that this author DID in fact, accurately predict that Harry was a horcrux though. And when they called JKR a transphobe and we called them crazy. Now we know that the author was right that one time, but crazy for MANY other reasons lmao
@@ignoreallmycommentsandreplies this fic specifically reminds me of this one story I wrote when I was 12 that was written like a diary and had the phrase "OMG we are totally pashing right now!" in it. (for non-Aussies, I mean kissing)
I remember reading this with friends at uni. We would take turns reading a chapter and (another's note because they're golden!). We made it into a drinking game for every time "bloody prep" was mentioned, the name "Ebony" was misspelled, everytime the author bashed her friend Raven, everytime an AN was in the middle of a chapter. Fair to say, people got drunk real fast. Would reccomend, even those who weren't HP fans were on the floor laughing.
Author's notes in the middle of chapters grind my gears at the best of times when reading fanfic; in my experience, the frequency of mid-chapter ANs is inversely correlated with the quality of the writing.
My favorite chapter of My Immortal is the unofficial chapter 30 when the hacker gets control of Tara's account, and writes about Ebony going to hell and being forced to wear clothes from Hollister and American Eagle, and whenever she tries to take them off, there's another one underneath it.
If we wanna be technical about it it's not even that. Most of it is a form of rock (from rock to punk rock to glam rock) and aesthetically a mix of different subcultures and pop culture around that the time
The greatest literary journeys begin with one line: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” - _Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina._ “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” - _George Orwell, 1984._ “Call me Ishmael.” - _Herman Melville, Moby-Dick._ “Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested.” - _Franz Kafka, The Trial._ “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.” - _William Gibson, Neuromancer._ "Hi. My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair..." - _Tara, My Immortal._
I would pay so much money to make this into a movie if it was WORD FOR WORD what was written. Inconsistencies included. Draco randomly shows up again? Never explained. Suddenly in a different spot with no explanation? Just switched between shots. The author's notes come in the form of a narrator. And all of the 18+ stuff maintains the same ~vibe~ that it has in the fanfiction. So it's not explicit. Parts are replaces by a poorly photoshopped cucumber and peach. All lines are said exactly as it's written even if it doesn't match what it's supposed to mean. "Passionately" but the author put "passively"? Well then the actors kiss very unenthusiastically.
The makeup descriptors, immaturely written sex scenes, countless spelling and grammatical errors, questionable sentences and vehement author protests are so funny. I’m crying tears of laughter I don’t think I can go on it’s so bad
I had to take a break and go to sleep midway through the video, I couldn't stand it. I finally finished watching it now and I definitely won't be re watching this nor recommending it to anyone, good lord it was kinda funny but I also greatly suffered
Serious Question Here: if Enoby likes watching guys together and she has a thing for both Draco and Vampire..why is she causing so much drama over the idea of the two of them together rather than just joining in?
@@Lucy_the No 😹 (I was asking a "serious question" very tongue-in-cheek-ly. Lol!) It's just difficult to miss when it makes such a point of telling the readers over and over again that everyone is bi and anti-social-norms or whatever, but is actually quite socially-normative and such.
Yeah, Ebony is pretty homophobic. It looks like she things gay sex is hot, but also dirty and shameful. Kind of like how most people who hire prostitutes view prostitutes.
I'm torn between wanting to read the author's attempt at writing a threesome and never wanting to subject myself to such a horror. It'd be quick at least!
Imagine sitting in Hogwarts one day doin your thing when naked Draco runs in chasing after a girl named Ebony... Y'all I would die internally and externally
Sometimes I get scared to write about my OCs in the fandoms I made them for. Then I remember this fic exists still, and say, “I don’t have much left to lose anyways,” then start writing. It may be a bit mean to say, but I don’t think my writing can be as bad as this.
I mean, if you spell with minimal errors(or at least go back and fix the errors made), have semi consistent characters, and avoid having your MC literally cry about how everyone loves her and how she's good at too many things, then your already leagues ahead.
50% of this fic: im goffik
49% of this fic: vivid descriptions of goffik clothing
1% of this fic: i drink blud
100% of this fic: And he put his thing into my you-know-what.
Additional 15%: roasting the prepz in the author's notes
@@ahniandfriends123 I think you mean 69%
100% of this fic: Prepz suk!1!!
0.003% of this fic: “OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?” (At 27:21)
“I ran suicidally to my room and sexily took a steak out”
*W h a t*
I wanna write like that. I love how her style invokes so much utter confusion. It's unironically entertaining.
Time stamp??
I’m not there yet but they probably meant stake but that won’t stop me from assuming they just took out a medium rare steak from a massive grill in their room.
@@thebooksommelier 1:40:00 ish
@@Hardcherrysweetie I kept thinking of meat and I thought I was stupid for not knowing how stake was spelled until this comment (I'm not a native speaker, so thanks for this lmao)
“Writing's not easy. That's why Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy, and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message and the word choice is bland.”
Whenever I write, I always have to use Grammarly because I know I did a mistake in at least twelve sentences.
That’s a great joke but there is no part of this dumpster fire that is grammatically correct
@@Machalily (holy hell my brain cells have given up after just 10 minutes into the video and couldn't spell Microsoft for a minute there) Microsoft had an update a few months ago and suddenly has really good spelling, grammar and punctuation suggestions now. Not often it's wrong. But yeah, I gotta reinstall Grammarly.
HAHAHAHAHSHSHAHA
LMAO İ GOT THE AD BEFORE THE VİDEO START
Fun fact:
My writing professor showed an exert of this fanfic to the class to show us how _NOT_ to write.
I love that lmaooo
Are you serious that is just hilarious lmao
Which part?
LMAOO
as an aspiring writer, i wish to eventually have that professor in the future lmao
The consistent replacement of "passionately" with "passively" is one of the highlights of this for me.
Frenching passively is my new favourite thing ever
@@littlewolfyzapling8810 When you want to french but you're too half-assed to do so.
@@littlewolfyzapling8810 that's when you shove your tongue into each other's mouths and then just let them rest there. for a few minutes at least.
Mine is “I stand up suicidally”
“I got up suicidedly”
“I fear nothing. But those words…
‘Voldemort gave me a gun.’
…they scare me.”
At what point in the video was that in?
@@onekarodriguez3134 19:04
i tried to like the comment but i clicked dislike i feel so bad hel-
Actual Voldemort: Tf is that muggle weapon
@@LivesInHerBooks lol
I’m trying to imagine Dumbledore screaming ‘what are you doing motherfuckers?!’ And at first it felt ridiculous until I remembered that scene in the goblet of fire.
We're never going to get over that, are we? 😂
Dumbledore asked calmly
I thought the exact same thing, and then I yelled "HARRY DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE"
@@eveninglyric687 never. 😂
dumbledore asked c a l m l y
harry HARRY DIDJA PUT UR NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE
*casually strangles star student*
harry: no
dumby: oh ok then HES INNOCENT GUYS
Snape being a Christian is beyond fucking hilarious to me 😭
Ikr- and him and "loopin" being together is too funny-
do you mean a _christina_
And a gryffondor as well of course. And preppy, not goth at all ! Cause the least emo, dark, maybe a lil goth character is definitely Snape right? Right?
I’d argue he’s a Lutheran.
The fact that she called "Serious Blak" Harry Potters "dogfather" is both genius and hilarious.
The dogfather
i am convinced, and will by no means be convinced otherwise, that this entire story was made to be hilariously bad
Dogfsther sounds like a perfect rapper name
Lmao ikr
@@betelgeux6010 i like to believe it's actually a one-person show, "Raven" was a side plot, making the author's notes their own story and the story itself was written poorly to make way for wonderful writing quips like this
Evidence: "Making out against a tree keenly" is not a sentence anyone who writes like this would actually attempt to write, "mediocre dunces" is too good for someone this hard into gothic culture, the gratuitous clothing descriptions but not describing the "deprezzing book" she read after slitting her wriztz, you get the idea
With the way the author’s notes are written, reading them like they’re rap song lyrics is just a lot funnier for me lol
It's like they were written by Warhammer 40k Orks. I'm not even joking, you could tell me an actual Ork wrote them and I'd believe you without a moment's hesitation
@@pranavghantasala6808 OI’ MU’TE
@@spacetacos7574 WAAAAAAGH!
@@pranavghantasala6808 DA’KA
I usually add a beat 😌💅🏻✨
“I almost got an organism” had me cracking up💀
Why is this comment so underrated💀
@@colourlessfireflies4008 I never even noticed this comment of mine even got 311 likes i’m gonna so deadass rn😭😭
@@Shikisonlylove it’s cos your comment was too good 😔
I mean, vaginal epithelial cells do count as living beings.
Took me back to the time in science I yelled the answer as Orgasim, instead of Organism😅 but now writing it I can see how easy that is 🧐
One reason I don’t believe this is a troll: a troll would go with “Professor McGothgall”
That would make it to obvious that their a troll
@@asaasssddd have you been listening to the same story we have.
Then again...who actually knew about Tom Bombidil back then?
Why da fuq are there so many links here
Or McGonnaghoul
"Voldemort gave me a gun."
This has so much meme potential.
the first thing I did was take a video of that clip
i want someone to make a meme of this
@@Shoigrrrl me too, dude, me too
On it
it’s like me and my *f r e n ‘ s* “Voldemort’s toenails” gag
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING MOTHER EFFERS?!" Said Dumbledore calmly
IM CACKLING
Swearing OOC Dumbledore... The best.
This is giving me goblet of fire flashbacks
@@meowcat2608 me too.
I was just about to comment this haha
what kills me is how at the start of the fanfic ebony is described to be wearing pink fishnets and having a coffin with hot pink material on the inside then later when hagrid offers her pink "roses" she tells him that she hates the color pink
this fanfic is very good with continuity
Hot pink with black is simply different than pink. The black cancels it out
same with crosses, she can’t even say the word it’s so disgusting and then she’s wearing cross earrings not even a day later
Ah yes, character development.
Also Ebony’s eyes change from blue to red (?) halfway through the fic and nobody says anything
@@embarrassinglyStupidomgggg she’s a vampire,let her beee
"Hello, My name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way."
This has to be the biggest amount of OC energy packed into one line that I have ever seen.
Actually it's Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way u prep🙄.
😂😂😂
That's micro dick energy right their
@@durrangodsgrief6503 there*
🤣🤣🤣😂
@@cynister7384 Escue me. this is my imortal. GRamer? Spelin? Pah, wot nonsene
Get it rigt
As a beginner fanfic writer, this gives me hope that I can't be the worst.
fr, it makes me feel so much better about my first fic. i'm working on getting to AO3 level
@@densejereje214 Same, but for now, I can only dream! I really need to improve- Good luck on the AO3 journey my friend! :D
@@densejereje214 same here and i'm planning to release mine mid february.
Good luck for your writing journey! As long as you try to improve, you will, so just keep on writing and I'm sure you'll get better. Just remember that reading up on writing advice can help you more than you think, if you actually implement it. (Don't be like me basically.)
@@densejereje214 Honestly, I wouldn't worry so much if your fanfic is up to 'AO3 level'. There's some awful stuff on there, but also the users are SO supportive. I uploaded a first chapter of an AC Odyssey fanfic I wrote (and never continued lol), which was the first bit of writing I have ever done, and although it wasn't very good the comments were so nice!
I knew it's gonna be My Immortal.
Even non-Harry Potter fans should read it for the lols
69
(Un?)fortunately, I could tell it was My Immortal from the thumbnail.
Where?
im so glad im here and i knew about that😂
I read it occasionally.
"She's not a Mary Sue"
"Oh if only Satan had made me less beautiful! I'm too good at everything!"
Bruh
I know right that is like part of the definition of Mary sue and she also gave her depression as a flaw but depression is closer to a mental medical condition than a flaw
honestly i like that idea. a mary sue who hates being a mary sue and tries hard to fail at everything, but somehow can’t
i would like this comment but its at 666, perfect for the video lol
@@yes07777That sounds like an SCP
I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT “EBONY DARKNESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY” WAS JUST A MEME I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS ACTUALLY _FROM SOMETHING_
LMAO SAME HERE
how tf do yall think memes start? they don't just follow the ebony dark'ness dementia raven way into existence
**dark’ness
i can’t imagine being a normal hogwarts student watching this shit go down, i would literally transfer
To where 😭😭 isnt there only 1 english school r somethinf
@@mmaantj there’s one in america
This comment got me lmao 😂 like same lol
Duurmstrag here I come! 🏃♀️💨
@@abandonmentissues1887 have fun in public school random english hogwarts student
Every time Enoby "runs angrily" or "jumps seductively", I'm flashbacked to this post:
**Begins breakdancing gently** What's wrong, son?
don’t you mean “Enopby” or “inobny” or “eöbney”
Do u mean Ebnbny
I’m pretty sure ur thinking of Enby
I think u mean Eb-doby
Enoby drank blood calmly
The fic is named after a song (my immortal by Evanescence) and Amy Lee (singer) is mentioned in the opening paragraph. Lee's sister got her to read it and she said it was hilarious. Just a fun fact
Why isn't this comment higher up
@@marble639 probably because I commented it months after the video had been posted
Well that's a tidbit I never thought I'd see. Thank you for sharing!
HAHAHA DEAD
Wait really? Lmao
The “ Voldemort gave me a *G U N* ” made me laugh way too hard-
Harry Potter and the guns barrel.
No, but like, if Voldemort had just used a gun, Harry would’ve been dead by now.
AK47 actually stands for AvadaKedavra-47.
@@dr.rodabthicc Harry Potter and This Bitch Got A Glock
ngl I want a whole HBO production of My Immortal that's completely acted seriously but everyone does everything exactly as it is in the book and there's the author's notes as skits
Fr I want this to be a full Tom hanks Steven Spielberg war drama production of my immortal
AND everyone pronounces their lines exactly as they’re written
@@gretablackwell495 YES
i want voldemort to give enoby a gun
@@sootless_ YES
I forgot how almost physically painful this was to read.
I'm not even the one reading it and Ive almost thrown up twice from the physical/mental pain I'm feeling
I was in physical pain because I was laughing too hard XD
It was physically painful to listen to Coley just made it worth the pain with the laughs
@@Yamaguchi_Tadashi it hurts so fucking much 😩😩😩😭😭😭😭
bene gesserit initiatives should just have to read this fic instead of taking the water of life
I hate how this fanfiction actually has a more legitimate love triangle than most romance books
like it made drarry make sense
Fr
damn 💀
I mean for one it's closer to an actual triangle than every single 'love triangle' in a movie
“Harry shouted and pointed his womb at them. I grabbed my gun-” fucking wiped me out
i mean bruh, if a guy would shout at me while pointing his womb at me i would be pretty fuckin terrified tbh^^
My favorite things are the sheer number of times Dumbledore is called Dumblydor (I might call him that from now on) and the fact that P!ATD is miswritten as P?ATD making the band name infinitely funnier because now they’re questioning whether or not you should be panicking at the disco
panic???????????
at the disco??
@@alexkoester9634 It's more likely than you think
@@alexkoester9634 panic? really? hmm
you sure?
@@scottperson007 panic? In MY disco??
@@genericname2747 HA! YOu think you're SOOO clever and FUNNY panicking in my disco! You just wait. When I'm done with you, panic is going to seem as sweet as honey
My Immortal is the best fanfic to have ever been written, it’s given the internet countless hours of joy and laughter.
It might be the best thing to happen to fanfiction but that doesn't make it a good fanfiction.
@@djdenman4540 That's why it gives the internet countless hours of joy and laughter , how bad it is
So True! and Ebony is one of the best protags to ever be created! The way she subverts The Mary-Sue trope.
Or cringe and laughter
@@bumblebeeproductions1673 trrrue
I’m not going to lie y’all, after the fourth chapter I legitimately had no idea what was going on in the plot at all, I was so confused 😭
Pretty sure the author didn't know what was going on, either 😂
I have no idea what happened after she had sex on the woods, I'm just hearing words with no meaning lmao
Like Shonen Jump mangakas and comic writers, bloodyrose666 just writes at the top of her head
There's a plot?
Can we appreciate how they spelled Sirius as Serious but seriously as siriusly
ROFL :D this is too good to be true
They were so close to! Just get rid of the ly at the end!
Proof enough for me that this is, in fact, a troll.
serious siriusly said the most sirius thing i have ever heard
“Triumelephantly” is a word Shakespeare wishes he had invented
Is it bad that I read: triumph elephanty?
@@axoltheartist lol same
@@ItsMeBarnaby audible confusion
@@ItsMeBarnaby oh, gotcha!
I went into this thinking "it can't possibly be that bad..."
It can.
It was.
So true
same
it hurts i couldnt last 5 min mainly because i dont prefer oc in fanfics or at least not the main character
Prep, you just don't understand great story telling
I went in knowing it was going to be horrible, and I just went “yeah this is gonna be funny as hell”
Enoby : I HATE PINK!!
Also Eboby : The inside of my coffin is hot pink velvet and I also often wear clothes with hot pink accents; the first chapter.
You mean Ebotononglobolgobeny
Edit: OH MY GOD I’M ruclips.net/video/CSJXle3LP_Q/видео.html
(Song: Coming Undone by KoЯn)
dont yall mean ebay 😜🤪😜😜😝😜😜😜🤗🤗🤗😜😜😜🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
don’t u mean TaEbory
You guys are all wrong, you mean Egogy
It's obviously written as Ebola.
"the worst fanfic ever" coley this is a masterpiece, what are you talking about
Lol?
Only 1 reply but 1.6K likes? Really suprising, atleast for me.
It's beautiful. And we will never see anything like it ever again
It's the BEST comedie I've ever read and will ever read
@@firewingy I love everything about this comment
On Friday I attended a My Immortal themed birthday party. We all had to dress up as a character, and I was Diabolo. It was legendary.
That is amazing
That’s unironically the greatest thing ever
I wish I could’ve attended.
Oh my god
This is the cringiest thing I have ever wanted to be a part of.
"He put his thingy into my you-know-what."
Ah yes, amazing smut scene.
10/10.
Best I've ever read.
Because I dont read those.
I'm a beginner on AO3, and I write better smut scenes than this.
I cant- i- its like teachers trying to censor how to make a baby in grade school- help- im getting ptsd
@@LEXANDRINEEEEE lmfao
i’ve never wrote smut before but i could probably write them better than that😟😟
ive been speedrunning smuts lately
The amount of times I cackled from every time the characters did something "Sexily" "seductively" "suicidally" or "gofficly" made me piss myself.
@bradley brown Lmaoooo
they're so real 4 that
don't forget "meanly" or "depressant"
Don’t forget the number one rule for Mary Sues is managing to almost die even though they are immortal and doing it “sexily” and “seductively”
Because continuity can’t exist
I love that this girl saw ONE picture of Draco Malfoy and decided to make a whole fanfic without the plot💀
yes that's exactly what happened 😭
…… what?😭
This is the exact definition of every girl's "edgy phase." Im honestly surprised I didn't mistake this fic for monster high
That is offensive to Monster High
@@mossybeewasteland DON'T YOU DARE BRING MONSTER HIGH INTO THIS 😭😭😭😭😭
“Reading the WORST fanfic ever.”
Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?
Just search getting sold to the mafia au
It was will wait her be
“Mr.bad boy who si toxic “oh that guy is nice to me but I need to choose the bad boy “
Oh God...
@@jellym3735 Or that one Blaze x Aaron fanfic where they make out and then get married shortly after.
Fair, and I know you're joking, but at the same time when you read that title the first thing that came to mind was absolutely this you can't deny
@@invisibilly1946 When you've never heard of this fanfic before:
The saga between the author and Raven is more suspenseful and exciting than the actual fanfic 💀
That's probably the best part of all of this 😆 I need more of their story!
I think my favourite author's note is the one that begins with simply "Shut the fuck up"
@@Eightsixseven23224 PLS GIVE ME A TIME STAMP THAT MADE ME CRACK UP
@@madokazzzsilly 52:38
@@starrycharacter you are amazing.
Challenge:Take a shot every time Tara misspells her own main character's name
Are you trying to kill people?! LMAO
Now that's a game for someone who has given up on life.
0/10, would still do again tho
@@SoulHopperI’m so down lol let’s do itttt
@@i_am_very_vexed ah, a kindred spirit! Let's go!
“I lay dead in my throne.”
I love how 'Dementia' is one of her names. It's quite charactersitic
Idk why this made me laugh so hard…
maybe thats why theres so many continuity errors
It would certainly explain why the author writes like they're having a perpetual stroke.
I think my favorite thing about this fanfic is the fact that the goth love interest is Draco Malfoy. The preppiest boy in Hogwarts.
literally 💀
Exactly lol I bet he has a 20 step skincare routine
@@ignoremeplease nah have u seen that man's pores 😭😭
@@ignoremeplease he looks like he owns a haircare buisness
LMAO
The fact that this fic has en entire wikipedia page dedicated to it scares me
WAHAHAHAHAH does it? 😭😭😭
@@tinuvielrhubarbe3850 IT DOES IT DOES en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Immortal_(fan_fiction)
@@tinuvielrhubarbe3850 Yeah, it does, I just looked it up. It's hilarious, you can really feel the confusion the author of this wikipedia page had
@@dandelionhood4508 I must look it up wahahaha
what makes it better is that it's a long wikipedia page
"I asked gothikally."
"I got up suicidally."
"I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!"
HELP ME LMFAO
"He started to cry wisely" 😭
Wtf are these words 😭☠️
@@diejoeboo5624HOW DOES ONE CRY WISELY LMAO
@@Nameless_CringelordThe same way one manages to "french PASSIVELY". 😂
What is the author’s friend Raven helping them with exactly? Cause it sure as hell isn’t spell checking
Actually one thing that lends itself well to this all being a troll is the fact that the spelling gets progressively worse the longer the story goes on (even the authors notes get WORSE SOMEHOW)
I truly believe that this was fully intended to be terrible.
@@francescapatti2934 Nah this is too good to be a troll.
@@popcultureoverdosed Not sure if you know but the author was revealed in 2017 to be Rose Christo and she has a book about writing My Immortal
@@brooke4502 she claimed to be the My Immortal author for clout, it was later discovered that she was lying
@@katerinachatziroditi9996 oh really? I didn’t know that, thanks for the info. I swear it was her though cause she updated the account and then published a book about how the story was actually a way for her to try and find her brother after they were both put in the foster care system and were separated.
I like how Snape doesn't even react to Draco walking around naked.
Like, he just wants to pretend this isn't happening
"Just smile and wave boys.. just smile and wave"
Snape in his head: it's just another day in the slytherin dorms
I would too tbh
Insert the meme of the two wolves laughing while the third is like -_-
read the last chapter LMAO
I love how the MC's name kept evolving throughout the story from Ebony to Enoby, then to Eboby and finally... *_Egogy_*
Obi-Wan Enoby
You forgot Evony 🤡
she also becomes
TaEbony, TaTa, and Tara.
Don't forget TaEbory
@@galaxyxd6500 Is this a fellow dream smp fan (not stan) or am I going crazy
You can hear her soul leaving her body as she keeps reading
I swear the times when she stops reading and goes "uh okay" got me crying from laughter
I stopped reading a good fanfic for this.
Reading fanfic < someone reading fanfic
It doesn't makes sense but it kinda does
Samee💀😭
Ironic, Isn’t it
What fanfic?
As you should, considering this is the best fanfic
okay but Draco calling Dumbledore a prep feels way more canon than it should
STOPPP AKSKDKKD
Hahahaha
"Seductively"
"Gothicly"
"Sexily"
"Suicidely"
These are now my new favourite adjectives.
STOP IM WEEZING-
Adverbs
@@gas.4872
I always confuse the two, even now.
Don’t forget triumelephantly
Flirtily~
I'm gonna cry the author notes 💀
HOW DOES ONE RUN -SUICIDALLY- ????
With scissors
@@TangleSlime2 dont run (suicidally) with scissors
if you run (non-suicidally) with scissors you will be fine
the best authors note other than the drama with raven is still the one that explained that dumbledore swore because he had a headache
If it WAS satire, can you imagine how fun it would have been to write? Just like spelling words wrong, completely fucking up canon - it must feel so f r e e i n g
I should try that sometime
When I write I have some scrap paper next to me so if I get bored or get a writer's block I can just vomit what ever comes into my head on to the paper and it honestly helps me
That's just the best calming thing to me. I love satire
I did this multiple times with a friend of mine, and i tell you, that were some of the funniest nights ever
Lol true
At first I thought this was a troll story or satire because I was like, “Nobody could possibly write anything this terrible!”
I was wrong lmfao
Listened/watched this while coloring my hair… unsurprisingly, the colour came out darker than planned, and I burned my scalp. "What u gon do???" I shrugged sexily while goffikally criing tearz of blood down my pallid face
This comment made me laugh so hard I wish you could have heard it 😂
@@ariahazelwood3842 I was eating and I choked on my food
@@yejiluvrr i was in the bathroom and shit instantly when i saw that comment
I swear 80% of my immortal is just what she’s wearing that day
and random authors notes that explain "darkness is ginny (jenny)" or sexualize bisexual men.. and of course how many times they have to say ebony's full name
10% is what others are wearing
It is
Raven really looked at every chapter and said "that's correct spelling"
Raven really is the villain of this story
Raven did it for us, not sure if it's to make us laugh or torture us, but still, they did it for us
Raven probably realized the fic was actually going to be shit, and decided to do a little trolling
Raven wrote a similar fic to this with actual spelling for the most part, called I’m Not Okay
It truly gets better when you find out Raven wrote a very similar fanfiction, but her spelling is totally fine.
Drinking game:
Take a shot every time she fetishizes bi guys
And take a second one every time one of those bi guys are villanized for having sex with another guy, regardless of circumstance.
@@the_last_ballad woah there let’s not poison people
@@AdbotsStuff i wanna know what they said ;-; I have to know
@@eh_lisee I think it was “take a shot for every grammar error” but I don’t really remember
very funny comment, unfortunately i am in the hospital with alcohol poisoning
the author would absolutely call you a prep undoubtedly
there isnt a single line in the history of fanfiction that will make me laugh harder than “I WANT TO SHIT NEXT TO HER!1”
Isn't that from Norbit!?
Holy fucking shit I want to shit...
Next to my one and only love
i think "'Cum now!' we did, guiltily." might be a close second
TIMESTAMP PLEASE
@@elliefowler2508 I wish I knew it I’m so sorry 😭
This is either going to be really horrifying or really entertaining, depending on what type of person you are.
Either? I’m 99% sure it’ll be both.
It's both for me
I think horrifyingly entertaining is the current camp I'm in.
@OPEN PAGE,,,, 👇😍 What the actual fuck
both, actually
Dumbledore having Alzheimer's was so unexpected and i was wheezing for a solid minute over it.
And being thrown in *A Z E R B A I J A N* because of it.
Timestamp please?
@@Imperials3nate 56:52 i think!
@@YoCelKreSunt HAHAHAHAHAHA
This seems horrifying. Time to listen to the whole thing
the replies are just filled with bots
@@marimonsoon7636 Yeah, seriously. What's with this sudden surge of them?
@@glitchyunknown5259 they've always been there it's just that they've been staying for longer
I see quackity
“Bolsemort and the Death Dealers” is a kickass name for a punk band.
THIS HAD ME ROLLING I- 💀💀💀💀💀
Shall I start this band? Maybe
@@Hurricane_Tortilla_yt I'LL BE THE BASSIST/ SINGER 🙋
@@Hurricane_Tortilla_yt ill be the on on the speaker
@@Hurricane_Tortilla_yt I can play piano / sing / recorder for some reason
"He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff" might be the _most_ in universe decision in this entire fanfic
The fact that I’m Hufflepuff as well- ✋😭
Us poor Huffpepuffs are truly the middle children
What’s a hufflepuff?? /j
Honey Badgers give no fucks
As a Hufflepuff we always get our blood sucked
I think this project STARTED as an actual, young goth girl, genuinely trying her best to be creative... but failing miserably....
Then, at some point, she realized that it was truly awful, and had some friends gather to help her turn it into satire.
That, or someone else hijacked the story somehow. Frankly, either makes sense.
Well, I highly doubt she was an actual goth for the simple reason that none of the bands she mentioned so frequently (at least by the point I’m at in this reading) were actual goth rock bands. Good Charlotte and Simple Plan are pop-punk; Slipknot, Linkin Park, and Evanescence are alt-metal (though Evanescence at least take more influence from gothic metal); MCR are emo; and Marilyn Manson seem to be either industrial rock or dark glam rock of sorts depending on the album.
@@eeyorehaferbock7870Yeah, but kids are dumb...
@@eeyorehaferbock7870 Another possibility is that she thought they were goth and never figured out that they were not.
I did shit like that so I can see it being the case.
@@eeyorehaferbock7870 internet teen goth culture in the early 2000s and 2010s was a lot of those bands and aesthetic and wasnt the same as the actual goth subculture
the way that this author DID in fact, accurately predict that Harry was a horcrux though. And when they called JKR a transphobe and we called them crazy. Now we know that the author was right that one time, but crazy for MANY other reasons lmao
apollo gave her the gift of prophecy but no one believed her
Even a broken clock is right twice a day
@@sun_daes Apollo gave her the gift of prophecy, but cursed her to only be able to tell people in horrible fanfiction
Time stamp???
@@genericname2747 That sounds pretty par for the course for Greek mythology tbh.
My friend and I read this and we both almost teared laughing
No cause this is funny
i hope ebony finds her virility soon
i too lost my virility…. painfully sad
This has the same energy as "what do you mean you lost the baby. go find it".
this made me wheeze like a tea kettle at 1:30 am thank you for this
I don't know if you meant EVERYBODY or EVERYPONY but this still made me laugh so hard
@@irliiMicrophone Pretty sure they meant the main character of the fic (whose name is Ebony)
“You mediocre dunces” is now one of my favorite insults
My favourite from this is "Horny Simpleton"
Or "despicable snobs"
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared.
If that's not literature at its finest, i don't know what is.
Frrr
*FLASHBACKS TO MY OLD WARRIOR CATS FANFICS THAT WERE LIKE THAT*
IT GIVES ME FLASHBACKS TO ONE IF MY OLD WATTPADS 😭😭😭
@@vocaloidteto I think it gives us all flashbacks to our old fanfics 💀😭
@@ignoreallmycommentsandreplies this fic specifically reminds me of this one story I wrote when I was 12 that was written like a diary and had the phrase "OMG we are totally pashing right now!" in it. (for non-Aussies, I mean kissing)
I remember reading this with friends at uni. We would take turns reading a chapter and (another's note because they're golden!). We made it into a drinking game for every time "bloody prep" was mentioned, the name "Ebony" was misspelled, everytime the author bashed her friend Raven, everytime an AN was in the middle of a chapter. Fair to say, people got drunk real fast.
Would reccomend, even those who weren't HP fans were on the floor laughing.
Author's notes in the middle of chapters grind my gears at the best of times when reading fanfic; in my experience, the frequency of mid-chapter ANs is inversely correlated with the quality of the writing.
I did this with my friends, without the drinking!
That’s fucking gold xD
what about every Dumblydore?
@David Robins tbh I did that to some of my stories but usually it's when I write in a different language
My favorite chapter of My Immortal is the unofficial chapter 30 when the hacker gets control of Tara's account, and writes about Ebony going to hell and being forced to wear clothes from Hollister and American Eagle, and whenever she tries to take them off, there's another one underneath it.
Same. I’m sad that she skipped over it. I was waiting all video for it, too!
I missed a couple chapter (1-29 to be exact)
Can I have the link? I really want to read that.
@@jinnie4271 in the description of this video, there's a link to the official repost of the story which has the hacker chapter
That was the fun chapter where it was the only time that made me laugh. I was so sad she didn't read it. XD
I hope the 33 year old ebony darkn’ess dementia raven way is enjoying the mcr reunion tour and all of Gerard’s IMMACULATE outfits
I hope she’s not haunted by this fic
Yes.
@@lunarwolfmoon5015I hope she is
Just remember everyone, you do something sexily or gothically, then you’re doing it right and not in a prep loser way
Also suicidally, don't forget.
Don't you mean gofikly?
Suicidally🤩😩💅💞💞
@@cawareyoudoin7379 What if I’m suicidal but neither sexy nor goth?
@@RikkiLove0317 That's just regular-flavour depression.
I would cry tears of blood if this was not written by a 11 year old.
@@ultimatemultishipper6822 Close enough
@@ultimatemultishipper6822 14?????? I thought it was written by a 7 year old
@@ultimatemultishipper6822 if this what written by a 14y/o then i'm dissapointed in the education system
Edit; unless it was supposed to be satire
like a gothic vampire uwu
@@hiya7125 Exactly🤣😂
if this is a troll then "dogfather Serious Blak" has to be the single greatest use of this golden opportunity
IKR?!
its so funny how the characters call themselves goth when really everything thats mentioned in the fic is emo 😭
If we wanna be technical about it it's not even that. Most of it is a form of rock (from rock to punk rock to glam rock) and aesthetically a mix of different subcultures and pop culture around that the time
"Reading the worst fanfic ever"
So you're reading the Cursed Child?
fr my immortal is 100% better than cursed child
The only reason I even checked out some clips after the Rowling drama was because Scorpius and Albus. Their dynamic along with Delphini was 10/10!
I- the sHaDe👀✨
No no to be fair, it a pretty good fanfic, it's just a terrible official story.
Ikr, they’re all *so* out of character in that book. Doesn’t Harry actually start crying at one point and Ginny has to bring him back to his senses-
When i think im bad at writing, i remind myself: at least im not THIS bad.
Ikr? If I wrote like this I would not post it TwT
True, true.
I just read a chapter of this, read my own work and then feel better. It's an instant confidence boost!
Yes my old fanfiction is kinda pants but it’ll never be this bad; and I still get nice feedback on them to this day.
Whenever I feel bad about my writing I remember this story
This fanfic HAS to be a troll. No way you can write that badly, even at 14
You have a too much faith in 14 year old emo girls lmao, it is and was possibly to be this bad lol
You have too much faith that this person is actually 14 they sound like maybe 11 or 12
I know someone who's 14, and they are actually a really good writer.
IM WAYYYY YOUNGER THAN THAT AND I WRITE BETTER THAN MOST ADULTS I KNOW!
@@KAWAIKEDOHORA no need to write in all caps, young one
The greatest literary journeys begin with one line:
“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” - _Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina._
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” - _George Orwell, 1984._
“Call me Ishmael.” - _Herman Melville, Moby-Dick._
“Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested.” - _Franz Kafka, The Trial._
“The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.” - _William Gibson, Neuromancer._
"Hi. My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair..." - _Tara, My Immortal._
I would pay so much money to make this into a movie if it was WORD FOR WORD what was written. Inconsistencies included. Draco randomly shows up again? Never explained. Suddenly in a different spot with no explanation? Just switched between shots. The author's notes come in the form of a narrator. And all of the 18+ stuff maintains the same ~vibe~ that it has in the fanfiction. So it's not explicit. Parts are replaces by a poorly photoshopped cucumber and peach. All lines are said exactly as it's written even if it doesn't match what it's supposed to mean. "Passionately" but the author put "passively"? Well then the actors kiss very unenthusiastically.
stop i'd sacrifice my family and my dog to watch that movie 😭
I CACKLED SO HARD I SNORTED
I think it has the ability to be immortalized as a theater production. Probably won't pick up steam till 50 or more years from now
“So bad it’s terrible”-Rotten Tomatoes
@@fionajansen395My Immortal, indeed.
The makeup descriptors, immaturely written sex scenes, countless spelling and grammatical errors, questionable sentences and vehement author protests are so funny. I’m crying tears of laughter I don’t think I can go on it’s so bad
I literally fell and laughed on the floor when I heard “he put his thingie in my you-know-what”
I had to take a break and go to sleep midway through the video, I couldn't stand it. I finally finished watching it now and I definitely won't be re watching this nor recommending it to anyone, good lord it was kinda funny but I also greatly suffered
Wattpad has that same energy but not that level of degeneracy.
not tearz of blood?
'started to run in a suicidal way' is now a sentence that will forever come in between my exams while I'm trying to figure out the actual answer. Yay.
What's the time stamp?
@@kitkatkass3079 53:08
@@le_void_goblin Thanks
The gasped “she changed her name because of the friend divorce!”
Art.
I’m not the only one who lost it when they learnt that Ron’s name is Diabolo now, right?
THAT WAS RON?!
BLOODY CHEESEPIT
I'm sorry what 🤠
THAT WAS FING RON??????
@@nayshaprasad8318 yes. yes it was.
For her it was the worst fanfiction in the world, for me it was Tuesday.
H o w ? I almost threw up halfway through
@@Yamaguchi_Tadashi Exposure, the way you build up any kind of tolerance to poison.
@@mikakestudios5891 You're a mad person- Where do you even find fics as bad as this
@@peppapig2.065 Fair point.
Any fandom that is large. Any fandom that skews young.
I hate how I knew immediately what fanfic it was just by reading the title
Same XD
I was wondering if she was gonna read Sonic Highschool
But this is such a classic
Same
Same
@@neonpinkqueen1403 What the FUCK is Sonic Highschool
i think the best part of this fanfic was how it described an ancient and noseless man who is supposed to be the embodiment of evil as “preppy”.
Serious Question Here: if Enoby likes watching guys together and she has a thing for both Draco and Vampire..why is she causing so much drama over the idea of the two of them together rather than just joining in?
1:09:32
Are you seriously analyzing that piece of… work? 😳
@@Lucy_the No 😹 (I was asking a "serious question" very tongue-in-cheek-ly. Lol!) It's just difficult to miss when it makes such a point of telling the readers over and over again that everyone is bi and anti-social-norms or whatever, but is actually quite socially-normative and such.
Yeah, Ebony is pretty homophobic. It looks like she things gay sex is hot, but also dirty and shameful. Kind of like how most people who hire prostitutes view prostitutes.
I'm torn between wanting to read the author's attempt at writing a threesome and never wanting to subject myself to such a horror. It'd be quick at least!
Anyone else more interested in the author/Raven drama rather than the actual story…
Toby, Toby, Toby, and Toby want to review your bible poetry.
Yea! Like I want the tea pls
@@TBG1 Red Bard and Sarah Z made videos on the Tara/Raven drama
@@slevingarganera8375 thank you, this saves me from boredom!
"That's not a spell. That's an mcr song" is SUCH an underrated line i swear
That's no moon, that's a space station
THANK YOU I was saying that 😭😭
Ebony is crazy 💀 she cheats then gets mad when her SO cheats. Can’t get mad at someone following your footsteps
tbh i'm impressed you were able to pick that up, past chapter 4 i didn't understand a single word
when ebony grabbed a "steak" and almost stuck it to her chest, I was so confused. I mean the whole time I was thinking of food
Why does she even have something to kill herself?
Same
*slaps self with a steak*
*gross meat sounds*
@@genericname2747 What a waste of perfectly fine steak. >:C
“I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white” she literally just used her teeth to describe every character in this godforsaken fanfic
💀🤣
You're completely right, except apparently they're all bi (homophones feck of!!)
Daaaaamn
Almost every character in Harry Potter as well
Isn't that just HP in general? Not exactly much representation going on.
Except all the sensitive Bi guys
Imagine sitting in Hogwarts one day doin your thing when naked Draco runs in chasing after a girl named Ebony...
Y'all I would die internally and externally
Don't forget how he was rigidly flapping in the wind at the time.
I sure won't.
@@the_last_ballad oh no how could I forget about that 🤣😂💀
*suisidally woks outta da room*
If I saw that I'd be rolling around on the floor laughing.
Sometimes I get scared to write about my OCs in the fandoms I made them for. Then I remember this fic exists still, and say, “I don’t have much left to lose anyways,” then start writing.
It may be a bit mean to say, but I don’t think my writing can be as bad as this.
I mean, if you spell with minimal errors(or at least go back and fix the errors made), have semi consistent characters, and avoid having your MC literally cry about how everyone loves her and how she's good at too many things, then your already leagues ahead.
"Well, I can't be _that_ bad." Honestly, same.
69 likes? I'm not gonna be the one to mess that up, so here's a like in comment form instead. 👍
(Edit, it got messed up.)