I think in a way it's good that the phone went off during the video as it serves as a reminder of how many of us are addicted to our phones as well, great video!
THANK YOU! I was trying to ask this question to the fb group, but I guess I didn’t explain myself well. I to know if and when I could expect my AH to stop having what I believe is some level of morbid jealousy. That way of defending or explaining his drinking- making it my fault, has been damaging to me and to our marriage. (It a very shameful thing I did that had nothing to do with him and preceded our relationship.) The unjustified jealous anger came out when he started drinking heavily last summer. He has been sober for almost two months and that angry blame has gone away too. Thank you for confirming to me that the thinking he latched onto, the pain he inflicted on me, is not unique to him and that it can become “reprogrammed” in recovery. His normal self is humble, which I’ve heard you say is very important to success, so I am optimistic. Thank you!
Oh wow, this is exactly what I was saying to my son who has substance abuse disorder. I also told him that he believes it’s a @ normal “ lifestyle because his father taught him this by conditioning him to his drug culture lifestyle and therefore my son grew up believing it was the normal lifestyle of the people he associated with, like a culture.
I’ve been applying your insight to my relationship with my sister (and her demon) for a couple years now and SHE AGREED TO GO TO TREATMENT…about 2 hrs ago!!! Especially helpful were your videos on denial, and stages of change (D.A.R.N.) means so much to me thx❤️
I am at 13 months. I am sober(I am at a good headspace), but getting back into society feels like walking up an impossibly large hill. It's doable, but I feel like if we put more effort accepting as a illness as a society. The relapses would go down. It's easier get a job selling the baking soda, then to get a legit job when you get sober.
I live with my tormentor-my narcissistic mother. She emotionally and psychologically abused me growing up but won’t acknowledge let alone own or apologize for it.
My 30 yo son stopped drinking alcohol after 10 years!!! yay!!! and tells me he needs to use Kratom because he was on ritalin since he was six and his brain receptors don't work very well and the Kratom helps him focus. He is being successful now but I asked him to try his best to taper off. IMO there needs to be studies done on kids who have taken ritalin until the age of 18 and then they turn to alcohol due to not being able to get the drug. Other countries don't prescribe such drugs to young children and I sure wish I wouldn't have accepted the medicine the Dr ordered
My hubbs just went into a facility last night. Detoxing from meth, bupenorphine, etc. He is stuck in thinking that I put so much " shit on him" that he is blamed for everything that goes wrong. He told me today that I need therapy, help, etc. And hung up on me. I have asked what can I do to get better. He is dead set on me taking a big portion of the blame for this " mess" I think this is helping me realize that if he can blame me then he has a right to use
Amber you are so awesome! 😎 You get it! You really get it! I tell everyone pointing fingers at me, (I ALWAYS say) look at your hand, see those THREE fingers pointing back at you????? LOL 😂 The Bible talks about this.
@@PutTheShovelDown I’ve been married to my husband who is a recovered addict for 4 1/2 years he’s been drug free. All of of sudden I get my inheritance money and I bought him a car and gave him lump sum of money he relapsed. When he admitted it to me after numerous lies and days of being gone for hours asked him to leave in hopes he would get help. Instead he changed his number, stopped his direct deposit and completely left me to handle the bills. We’ve been going to church and our marriage has been great I thought. What just happened I kept asking myself I’ve been watching your show since he left a month ago and he showed non of the signs. I feel as though I was in a train wreck. He vaguely apologized and stated know he knows we should file for a divorce I can’t believe this all happened
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I think in a way it's good that the phone went off during the video as it serves as a reminder of how many of us are addicted to our phones as well, great video!
Good point.
God bless you Amber. Very helpful information.
Thank you! You too!
I'm a professional myself and I really appreciate how you communicate about addiction.
Thanks, Tamara! I really appreciate the positive support. Especially from an addiction professional 😀
Amber you're so helpful caring and thorough 🙏 PLEASE write a book!!!
Maybe one day!
THANK YOU! I was trying to ask this question to the fb group, but I guess I didn’t explain myself well. I to know if and when I could expect my AH to stop having what I believe is some level of morbid jealousy. That way of defending or explaining his drinking- making it my fault, has been damaging to me and to our marriage. (It a very shameful thing I did that had nothing to do with him and preceded our relationship.)
The unjustified jealous anger came out when he started drinking heavily last summer. He has been sober for almost two months and that angry blame has gone away too. Thank you for confirming to me that the thinking he latched onto, the pain he inflicted on me, is not unique to him and that it can become “reprogrammed” in recovery. His normal self is humble, which I’ve heard you say is very important to success, so I am optimistic. Thank you!
Oh wow, this is exactly what I was saying to my son who has substance abuse disorder. I also told him that he believes it’s a @ normal “ lifestyle because his father taught him this by conditioning him to his drug culture lifestyle and therefore my son grew up believing it was the normal lifestyle of the people he associated with, like a culture.
I’ve been applying your insight to my relationship with my sister (and her demon) for a couple years now and SHE AGREED TO GO TO TREATMENT…about 2 hrs ago!!! Especially helpful were your videos on denial, and stages of change (D.A.R.N.) means so much to me thx❤️
I am at 13 months. I am sober(I am at a good headspace), but getting back into society feels like walking up an impossibly large hill. It's doable, but I feel like if we put more effort accepting as a illness as a society. The relapses would go down. It's easier get a job selling the baking soda, then to get a legit job when you get sober.
Yes your videos have helped me thanks !
Great video like what you said about lessons of relapses. You don't have to think you just can't or are bad at recovery
Absolutely!
You looking beautiful today!
Oh thank you! 😁😁😁
I live with my tormentor-my narcissistic mother. She emotionally and psychologically abused me growing up but won’t acknowledge let alone own or apologize for it.
My 30 yo son stopped drinking alcohol after 10 years!!! yay!!! and tells me he needs to use Kratom because he was on ritalin since he was six and his brain receptors don't work very well and the Kratom helps him focus. He is being successful now but I asked him to try his best to taper off. IMO there needs to be studies done on kids who have taken ritalin until the age of 18 and then they turn to alcohol due to not being able to get the drug. Other countries don't prescribe such drugs to young children and I sure wish I wouldn't have accepted the medicine the Dr ordered
I know someone that is an alcoholic and when not drinking uses kratom and now hears voices. I hope everything turns out well.
I just knew today about somebody that got addicted to kraton. Be careful
If there’s not a book yet… shouldn’t you be writing one?❤
I like the way you think! 😀
Seriously though!
That's what I said! Do it Amber!
My hubbs just went into a facility last night. Detoxing from meth, bupenorphine, etc. He is stuck in thinking that I put so much " shit on him" that he is blamed for everything that goes wrong. He told me today that I need therapy, help, etc. And hung up on me. I have asked what can I do to get better. He is dead set on me taking a big portion of the blame for this " mess"
I think this is helping me realize that if he can blame me then he has a right to use
It's always easier to blame others
15:00
Amber you are so awesome! 😎
You get it! You really get it!
I tell everyone pointing fingers at me, (I ALWAYS say) look at your hand, see those THREE fingers pointing back at you????? LOL 😂 The Bible talks about this.
44:35 I have been posting is this the right place to post
Hi Debby, This is the place to leave a comment on the reply.
@@PutTheShovelDown I’ve been married to my husband who is a recovered addict for 4 1/2 years he’s been drug free. All of of sudden I get my inheritance money and I bought him a car and gave him lump sum of money he relapsed. When he admitted it to me after numerous lies and days of being gone for hours asked him to leave in hopes he would get help. Instead he changed his number, stopped his direct deposit and completely left me to handle the bills. We’ve been going to church and our marriage has been great I thought. What just happened I kept asking myself I’ve been watching your show since he left a month ago and he showed non of the signs. I feel as though I was in a train wreck. He vaguely apologized and stated know he knows we should file for a divorce I can’t believe this all happened
4:35
Can I send this video to my kid , how her reaction would be . I hardly talk about this problem. Help 🕊🙏🏼🫶