I wish there was more sex positive channels like this, because I feel like sex positivity is a huge step towards world peace. It's stupid that RUclips demonizes educational channels about sex positivity and learning, but then leaves up animal abuse videos. Keep up the amazing work, Dr Doe, you are amazing. 😊💗
Hey! You can check out Hannah Witton (cis, straight and disabled woman) and Stevie Boebi (cis, lesbian and disabled woman) for more sex positive, fun and educational videos. Stay curious!
RUclips demonetizes videos the advertisers don't like. RUclips can't pay you money they won't get from advertisers. So it's up to you whether you care more about your videos making money or changing the world.
She’s one of the reasons I’m studying psychology and want to be a sex educator and sex/ relationship therapist... if you have an Instagram and are interested you should check out my education Instagram @learneroflove !
Honestly, normalizing compassionate behaviors towards masturbation and discussion about doing it, i would imagine it would vary wildly. Would people do it more, or less? Too many factors to say. But having a more accepting world to experience myself in, sign me up.
@@Rednilsunwood there is benefit in doing it and not doing it. There really is something good to doing it daily and also something good to doing it rarely like once a month or less. Until you've tried both you are stuck. Both are good for different reasons. Short term pleasure vs long term pleasure
In middle school one time I was doing sit-ups on my bed and because the bed squeaked. my dad barged into my room roaring "What are you doing!?!" Growing up I was terrified of my sexuality, and never really was taught or talked to about sex. Anyone have any similar experiences? p.s. I love doctor Doe's insight by the way; I've learned so much from her, especially about self-acceptance and feeling safe and comfortable around sex. Cheers!
Kinda: My wife caught me watching porn and scolded me bad, saying it was disgusting and she didn't wanted to touch me anymore and that she felt substituted. I tried to explain to her it wasn't the case and that it was natural, but she wouldn't listen, and a vicious cycle begun in which every time she felt angry at me she blamed it on me masturbating instead of having sex with her (despite having sex somewhat constantly, at least way more than nowadays). It didn't lasted long, but after a few months she kinda came to terms with what I told her, but at that point I had gradually closed my sexuality to her, effectively enjoying more masturbation than sex. I simply didn't trust her anymore, feeling more and more judged every time, which made things worst. It's only 10 years later, and after talking her into buying a dildo and knowing herself that things are barely starting to turn back. We're both 36.
I was living with my mom a few years ago helping take care of her when she was having kidney problems. Her husband walked in on my son in his bedroom. They both came to me, saying that, "He walked in on my son touching himself." Clearly, expecting me to go scold my son. To their surprise, I told them, "Maybe you shouldn't be walking in on someone in their bedroom and be respectful and knock on the door and wait for a response."
@@apopompi I'm so sorry you're dealign with that. I lived it with my first wife: she rarely wanted sex but also had a major issue with me masturbating when I wanted it and she didn't because she felt it was "insulting" and "a statement that I'm not good enough."
Geez it's so sad reading stories about romantic/sexual partners that aren't accepting. It just makes me more paranoid about dating and stuff because I want that person to be my comfort zone, not a place where I get judged for having a sexual side to myself that isn't dictated by them. If someone is gonna shame you what's the point of having the romantic relationship? Sorry I sound depressing lol I hope you all are having a good day and good communication!
My menstrual cycle has a lot to do with my frequency. Different parts of my cycle have different levels of sexual desire. Generally speaking, while bleeding, i dont often masturbate, and during ovulation, its a lot more frequent. I also have depression, and im still in the process of finding the correct medication for me, and some meds boost my desire, while some kill it completely. Ive actually talked to my doctor because i use masturbation as a form of stress relief and self exploration, so i try to avoid meds that kill my desire.
This is a huge reason I've not been able to be on SSRIs and SSNRIs. Orgasms are one of the few things that help me release that stress and tension too and my inability to do so used to drive me to do more destructive things. Wishing you the absolute best of luck navigating things and finding what works best for you and your body. You are definitely not alone in your struggles
Your experience is close to mine. Before the two times I was on antidepressants, I used to be able to determine where I was in my cycle just by "How much do I want to masturbate?" and "Which fantasies seem more appealing for that?" I often masturbate just to get to sleep quick and easy :P Some nights it's more difficult to fall asleep, so it's super practical for me :D
@Khaffit as someone who takes psychiatric meds, that's probably not too high on this person's priority list. Hyper-sexuality, while it CAN cause your life to spiral when coupled with low impulse control, is not that big of a deal compared to having a coping mechanism taken away.
Videos in the past have been recorded and edited by professionals. Not this week. I humbly present my novice efforts and want to express extra gratitude for those who've worked with me to build this channel. Another big shoutout to Vic Liu and her book BANG!, a full color deep dive into all things masturbation which is available for preorder at bit.ly/3iFhzTd I LOVE MASTURBATION EDUCATION!!!!!!!
God, this makes me want to cry. It's so validating. My partner thinks my lack of sex drive is due to my masturbation when they are just coexisting concepts. Thank you so much, Dr Doe.
So, this is interesting. I'm a 28-year-old guy and... I can't remember when I started doing it but all I know and remember is that it's been quite constant. Even when I was into long term relationships with good and often sexual intercourse, I still had to hide away and have that me-time at least a couple of times a week. And the weird thing is if I don't do it I just feel like I'm going crazy. I can't think straight, I can't control myself if I don't "release" once in a few days, even now as a grown-ass adult. I was starting to think there is something wrong with me... but I heard some other guys that are about the same, they have to masturbate at least once every few days in order to function properly from a mental/psychological perspective.
With a girl friend when I and she were younger, realizing that masturbation was still attractive / needed for me, we took to masturbating with each other. Was very erotic. So we kept that up, communicated more, and mixed it in with regular sex.
i know women who are the same way!! everyone’s libidos work differently, and sometimes people just gotta masturbate more often than others. it’s very human hahaha.
I can relate with the feeling of going crazy if you don't have some sort of release. I also still needed me time even when the sex was fantastic and often in my previous relationships. Since being out of a relationship, I've noticed my sex drive has gone down, and masterbating isn't as often. But when I need to, the urge is so strong, I feel crazy and like I can't think until I after I've taken care of it. But then I'm good for another 6-9 days. For the most part I feel healthy. Stay curious folks!
I can't say I've ever been in a stable long relationship, but near daily has been my normal before, during, and after relationships. Sometimes more than once a day, sometimes not for a week or more. It's all down to mood which is itself determined by the nuances of what is going on in my life.
I love the setting of this video! Like an extension of my living room, shared with a professional talking about their specialty. Distinctly different from a bedroom or a therapist's office. I felt more casual and connected, as if I were waiting to discuss the points being raised. I even found myself mirroring Dr. Doe's posture, and leaning in! Well, OK, I know I would feel a bit awkward having such a frank discussion literally in my living room, but that thought arose only because of how this video was made and presented, which in turn gave me more to think about. Please keep this in your roster of video sets!
OH-MY-GOSH! Why couldn’t I have heard this when I was a teenager!!?? Just wow....this was such a good topic. And you presented it so masterfully, or meaningful, or educationally, or at an age level from 1 to 100! Thank you so much! Now, I am going to open this video on my wife’s tablet tomorrow...NOT to rub it in her face, but to get her impression and feedback. I hope to have an open and educationally centered, progressively oriented discussion. One that I’ve been trying to have for years! Thanks, more than you can possibly imagine!
Honestly, it's all I have left to me. My wife passed in early 2018 and even before that Cancer was destroying her body to the point that having intimacy was dangerous for her. Now that I'm a widower you'd think I would just be able to get out there and try dating but I found that I'm still very much in love with my wife and seeing someone else feels like such a betrayal so self care is what I have. I know sounds pathetic but don't judge, I hope you never have to go through what she or I went through.
We had a similar path. My wife suffered for her last four years with Alzheimer's, passing early 2020 after 41 years together. I understand the concern feels like something of a betrayal, but your spouse would want you happy & healthy.
There's nothing pathetic about dealing with loss. You're not wrong to decide what's right for you. And you won't be wrong if it changes later... or if it doesn't. Just keep some friends and family in your life for stability and relax, because you're doing the best you can with what you have and are suffering the least you can. Also, it's very common for widowers, if you do find someone, to... well... they're always going to be #2. Nothing's taking her place in your heart. You and any hypothetical other interest would have to be okay with that. You're normal, not pathetic.
Losing a spouse IS terrible in itself and then the loneliness sets in to haunt you & your heart among many other mental games. However being pathetic IS NOT one of them. I lost my wife in March of 2019 and was in such a turmoil, I found myself doing and going places I never imagined and then the pandemic happened & saved me LOL. As such I choose not to think about seeking out a partner and enjoy being by myself more (not even a pet). The heart is a fickled thing and will let you know when you’re ready....... don’t worry, we’ll all be OK in due time as long as we stay safe & true to ourselves. Peace Y’all 😊
Good video, my wife and I were just talking about this. We felt sad that there are people apparently even some friends of ours who are denied a basic self relief by their partners or their up bringing. Personally I feel it brings emotional steadiness.
The husband who's wife does not want sex but he is not allowed self relief? or vice versa sometimes guys turn off their sex drive. Reminds me of some cultures that when one spouse dies the other dies as well?
I lived in group homes a lot with 10 boys living together. They all make fun of each other for "probably" playing with themselves but in the dark they likely were doing the same thing as they made fun of others for doing. So there's stigma, but hypocritical stigma. I was curious as a teen too. I went to a college library and got a card. They might have thought it was weird to checkout 20 books on sex, but there was no internet then. I don't care what others think of me.
Dr. Doe you and Shannon Boodram are the reason I’m going to school to become a sex therapist and sex educator and why I created my learner of love Instagram page! Understanding Sexuality is so important in self worth and confidence and in turn compassion for others. By being accepting of ourselves we are able to accept others.
I gotta remember not to associate SAA with Sex Addicts Anonymous -- my wife is a member of the Society of American Archivists, which is also known as SAA . . . .
1:40 So important when it comes to male insecurities around their female partner masturbating (the data available is cis and I identify as heterosexual so I by no means am meaning to say it's not important for other relationship configurations). There is a stigma around female masturbation in the first place (teenage girls giggling that they don't do it...the song "She Bop"...the historical stigma continues) but I find that women hide and/or lie about it to their male partners because of various social expectations around when sexual activity and arousal is appropriate (ie. a woman should only engage in anything sexual with her husband - a very antiquated way of thinking). But this shame also impacts female sex lives as they may be embarrassed to show their partner what they like or touch themselves while engaging in intercourse. Generally, it's always been socially acceptable to acknowledge that males masturbate (and slang terms used all the time justify that) but it's a little "kinky" and "taboo" to acknowledge women when it comes to any part of sexual pleasure.
Right? I had that exact same narrative written in my brain and I was obviously becoming less and less interested in having sex because I was constantly faking because I wasn't telling what I liked. It made me miserable. I'm so happy I got comfortable talking it out though
Doe, you are an amazing voice in the wilderness. As a 54 Y.O. male, to hear you explain to everyone that normal means what's normal for you. Helping men and women, of all ages to grasp what a healthy activity this should be and how positive it should be for you, no matter how frequent you do it. You point out so eloquently how partners do have different needs but that doesn't mean the other person isn't meeting them, it just mean we have individual needs for self care. Thank you for being an intelligent voice in the internet noise box.
My depression and anxiety disorder really effects my sex life in a negative way so I'm glad to see this video. I struggle with sexual anorexia. I don't do it very often because my depression shames me and convinces me that I don't deserve to be happy. It's pretty sad and I want to overcome it. So I really apprecaite this video. You talking about how it is self care really helps destigmatize and eradicate shame surrounding this topic.
See if you can track down the book: Womens Anatomy of Arousal, by Sheri Winston. Not only will you learn so much about your body, but she gives a lot of advice on overcoming negative beliefs and a bad self image/talk. I have improved my self-confidence and self-image of my body with it, and I went from very mechanically performing masturbation (done in 2 min, with a 'meh' orgasm) to literally spending a good hour or more, and crying after my third orgasm in one session by myself. It has really changed my sex life with my husband too, if you have a partner. If the beginning of the book feels a little too "new age-y" for you, skip to the anatomy, and go back to it when you want to learn more about channeling your energy, to be fully present and feel deeply.
Not everyone's opportunities change that much with lockdown. If you're already doing it as much as you care to, being home alone a lot won't really change that.
It's actually been kind of frustrating tbh lol. Mine has gone up because stress has increased and it's one of the only forms of release I get now, but also I've been in therapy working through some of the physical trauma I've experienced that took away from the pleasure I get from it. So now it's becoming more pleasurable and more necessary, but I'm also never alone lol
No increase or decrease in masturbation. Safer marital sex has increased somewhat due to working 20h/week instead of 50h/week and beeing able to spend time together in general. Had this pandemic happened in my teens, instead of mid thirties, it would most likely not have affected masturbation much either as I already masturbated at least once a day, not so much nowdays.
The evolution of this channel from a clinical machine gun data points delivery to a more personal, informal and friendly discussion is refreshing, welcome and encouraged!
I will be 38 this Saturday and I am so glad to have discovered your channel. I am still working through my sexuality and I love your energy and non judgment zone.
Thanks very much for such a... therapeutic approach? This seemed to be the closest to what a therapy session would be like with you, and it really showed a different version of your professional, caring, curious, empathetic approach. Thanks very much!
Thank you Dr. Doe for all you do with this channel! It is EXTREMELY VALIDATING to hear this. It feels like the glass wall blocking my well being gets more cracked a bit more each time I watch your videos.
I've been having some incredible depression lately, and I masturbate less frequently when I'm depressed. I'm starting to feel better (although it's a process, and I backslid a bit a couple days ago), and I'm masturbating a bit more now that I'm having energy and fighting the intrusive thoughts. I used to have a lot of conflict about masturbation. Church trauma, definitely. I remember when I first started feeling shame around my own body, and I wasn't ever able to talk about it until I got older. I love my body when I am able.
I'm unhappy because at 74 my meds make masturbating ( my only sexual outlet) fruitless. Frustrating. Sad. I masturbate a lot but orgasm maybe 3 times a year😭
same thing for me, i started depression meds and i masterbated for the first time in months and they say those are supposed to screw up sex drive (that was a major reason i didn't take them for so long, i didn't want it to get worse)
@@Tradinghonest Yes. I take an anti-depression med, have chronic pain --so need and benefit from pain meds, and would have high BP except it's corrected by meds. My PCP said all 3 of those make sexuality more difficult, i.e., erections. Generic Viagra (from India) helps. But frequency is way down. I'm just as or could be just as visually interested as ever. (Abt 15 years ago I learned that doesn't change, just adding some years).
I have noticed that when I am full of anxiety and mental tension, and can't sleep, after I choke the chicken and shoot the goo, I fall asleep like a baby, it's better than sleeping pills !
This was such a helpful video for me. 💙 I used to masturbate all the time but I started taking antidepressants almost a year ago and it's made it almost impossible to orgasm, so it's taken the joy out of masturbating. My husband masturbates three to four times a week and I found myself feeling really jealous and inferior, to the point that I asked him to stop masturbating so much. This video really helped me see that I have some things I need to work on and stop feeling inferior compared to a toy. I have an apology I need to go make. Thank you so much!
I really appreciate you doing this. When i was young, I had the urge to do it daily, but due to catholic guilt, it really tore into me mentally. It wasn't until I left my religion that I felt not bad about my sexuality. Which is funny, because I am asexual. (most likely, i am still confused to this day) When all you get in school is "Here is how a baby is formed, abortion bad, no sex until marriage." and at home "Hey get back to studying!" it is hard to figure things out. Fortunately for me, since I did not and still do not have attraction towards others I never did anything with people and thus avoided having messed up big time. As an adult now it is about 3-4 times a week or so? Have done it twice in a day about every month or so. Usually about things that aren't even sex, like the Rotten tomatoes rating of Batman vs Superman or bad Stadia news.
I was raised super conservative Baptist and can relate to the tremendous guilt and shame and every Sunday hearing that even thinking about a woman being attractive was a sin cause its "lust" according to what jesus said. I'm 24 now and havent gone there in years and I still have trouble sometimes feeling guilt and shame
Wow. That moment when you said that masturbation can be self care, that is huge. Masturbation IS self care to me. It does fluctuate with life and my mental health at the time, but good Lord this is so validating. Thank you so much for this Lindsey. I hope you're well as well ❤
Your advice is always so positive, inclusive, judge free, and SUPER IMPORTANT! I am currently getting my Master's is Marriage and Family Therapy and Sex Therapy and plan to become a licensed sex therapist. I would love to create content like yours one day that helps so many people find the education and acceptance they desperately need. Thank you for your wonderful mark on the world. It has immeasurable value!
Yet one more reason the ex wife and I never had kids. Truth be known... I really wish we would have. Kant go back in time even though I would in a New York Second. 🤔
Lindsey, your energy seems a bit different in this episode. I'm not sure if it's just the frustration associated with the topic or if something more is going on, but I hope you're doing okay and taking care of yourself. Hang in there.
It's the first time since DoeEyes that I recorded myself, no videographer. That meant I was also attending to lights, camera position, and camera operation without much training. Oh, and no script so you're getting a very raw Lindsey. I'm doing well. Grateful that this is being received positively and happy to mix it up. Thanks for checking in.
Love that you called it "self-care". I've been calling it that for years. So now that "self care" is all the rage, i just chuckle and raise an eyebrow.
@@shwkq310 oh I know, but she had posted a video about sex and math a few weeks ago, so I wanted to do some quick math for her obvious hyperbolic situation.
@@shwkq310 There are people who exceed this level, hence the part where it starts to interrupt, life, family, relationships, work, school, this is where the act is problematic, and if it is causing issues where SAA can help.
There is one should we as a people need to discuss and embrace - we should be making this type of education available for teens and young adults (not saying older people don't need it but). Young people have enough new surprises without having to figure out how to deal with questions of what is healthy/unhealthy sexually. We need to recognize that mental and emotional health is health and sexual expression is part of that. Thank you Dr. Doe for providing this needed education.
Dr. Doe, I enjoy your conversation about masturbation it’s very important to know so many of these interesting facts. At a very young age I was told that playing with myself that was dirty and morally wrong, my mom even took me to our minister for a Christian cleansing. I spent several weeks every Saturday for one hour getting taught what all was wrong with myself pleasing. I started finding more and more hiding place to increase my daily masturbation, plus I found a neighbor buddy that was into the very same pleasuring! Sure wish you had of been around back in my times. Thanks for all you do and say! Appreciate you very much.
You are one awesome lady. I have always enjoyed and been educated by your videos. I wish everyone had the level of maturity and emotional intelligence that you possess, including myself. Each time I watch one of your videos, I inch ever closer. Thank you so much for your content. I understand it has been difficult for you at times and I applaud you for your courage and your humanity. You are one of my heros and I felt the need to tell you, I hope you are not offended by my statement.
I'll be 60 in less than a month and I masturbate 4 times a day, sometimes more but rarely less. I don't have a girl friend or wife. I found out 3 yrs ago I'm bipolar. It's my understanding that this may be one of the factors causing this situation. I've listen to many of your videos but you never mention about mental health being an underlying condition to sex issues. I do have some of the past drama you have mention in this video. Love your videos. I think you're doing great service for people like me. I always stay curious.
This has been really interesting to listen to, though the stats at the beginning really had me twitch nervously. Those statistics would say I have a abnormally high sex drive. Like 4 times a week? I could easily go multiple times a day, with sex included. And I still work, play, socialise, it doesn't direct my life. I fit it in when I am alone, comfortable and have time. I also find I feel more regularly aroused when I have been more social. If I have been working non stop the want diminishes. And until this video, never really thought anything of it. Reading some of the comments, seems I am also extremely lucky.
Thank you Dr. Doe, I feel like these days you are just giving your opinions on things straightforwardly. I really appreciate it. Including the part in a previous video about how it should take effort to climb towards an orgasm. That it's part of the process and important. It's really made an increase to the overall quality of my sexlife because I no longer think about effort put into orgasm as a detractor. Now I just take it as part of the journey. It's a huge mental relief. I'm commenting about that video on this one because the point is that it's stuck with me. This wasn't some temporary in one ear and out the other thing.
Thank you for this video! As always, important ideas given with compassion and understanding! Information that I wish I'd had 40 years ago!! Stay safe and keep up the important work!!
In rare cases, some individuals may masturbate more than they desire, which may: 👍 cause them to miss work, school, or important social events interrupt a person’s daily functioning affect their responsibilities and relationships serve as an escape from relationship issues or substitute for real-life experiences
@@olisk-jy9rz The basic idea is well and good but they come of as almost cult-like. It's definitely not the best community out there for this sort of thing. Some people on NoPorn also avoid masturbation if they feel one leads to the other.
Can you talk about “Cupid’s Poison Arrow” by Marnia Robinson? Not many people talk about these side effects to dopamine, energy levels, drops in hormones, etc.
2:26 I think also mental health and how open we are about our sexuality are also huge factors. Masturbation can be a way of self-harm and sometimes can be the only way we have to vent our repressed desires. I appreciate you bringing up this topic. Edit: I used to masturbate excessively and feel so terriblely about it. Nowadays, I still do it a lot but it’s not causing me day-to-day dysfunctioning. After I accepted my homosexuality, most of the shame is gone and after reach out for therapy I’m not using it as a self-harm anymore. But I live in a very homophobic environement so the only expression of my sexuality is masturbating on porn or on fantasies about what my prince charming would be like.
This was so incredibly helpful in every aspect possible. I’ve always loved you, you’re great, this is great, I just felt all anxiety leave my body like thank you.
Amazing as always Lindsey. Your rants are always really enjoyable. I've always felt a few times a weak with different ways to be really right for me and I hope others can find their own level. Your making me wish more and more that I had gone down the sexual therapist/doctor when I was younger. Stupid parents blocking my path and stupid mind.. thank you as always Lindsey
I usually only do it once or twice a month, if that. Sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on how I feel. I find sexual things interesting, but probably not in the way that most people do. It doesn't really arouse me that much. I like admiring nice looking bodies though
I love how you explained this, and how you reach out to every spectrum. I went to saa and from here. Decided what was acceptable and best for me. It was a wonderful group of people. In the end, of this part of my journey, I have found acceptance of myself from me was the best course. As for the stats Doe gives I am way higher than normal and this is okay. I am not everyone else and nor can I ever be. As for my relationships I am still growing and learning. Everyone is different and needs to be given thier own lense on which something is built. On much of this I can be wrong, but that is life. Apart of growing and learning.
@@freecleets i understand busy, but when i'm not busy, like days off, vacation, relaxing after work...well... a month is a day. But it's more like an interminable nag than waiting for the opportunity- drive a workout? i can't focus unless i drive it out!
Idk about other people, but for me it's more like once every other month, because I get UTIs E X T R E M E L Y easily, and tbh I'd rather be ridiculously horny all day for a couple days than have chronic UTIs :(
Be it on on the method or the frequency, there's a lot of "shoulds" surounding masturbation. Some of it's society, some of it's self-generated, but thanks to people like you "shoulds" are fading little by little every day. Thank you Dr. Doe :)
Soooo, an average of once a day for a woman for over 15 years is probably way too much? Lol I honestly use it to help me relax and fall asleep before bed. Depending on my cycle will depend on if I do it or not. Usually if I’m bleeding then it’s a no go, during ovulation I will be more frequent. I have been almost 1 year on the Skyla IUD though and it’s thrown my desire all over the place so my average has changed to A LOT less this year. The IUD itself isn’t the issue just the cramping, random spotting and random exhaustion
When I was younger yes. Then it became twice a day but not everyday. Up until the last 6 months, I was doing it once everyday (usually after I woke up in the morning) and sometimes 2nd time in afternoon or evening.
This vid felt really heavy & personal, your vibe was kinda intense, anyway, when you were referencing spectrum all i kept thinking about was that whole Buddhist 'in the now' thing, especially when you suggested Dr Doe's 2020 spectrum rating could be different than 2021's rating, food for thought. A dynamic perspective is kind of assumed when referencing things like spectrums, most, simply don't have that app installed in their little brains(which is not to say that they can't install it), but the US is riddled with metrics/ratings/maps with 'you are here'. A spectrum is simply like taking the temperature of right now, it's value is only to be had if you log that data over time. Ya know, weather might be a good metaphor in future explanations of the subject. ;) Love your work and your humanity, Dr. Doe.
It's a little ctitoral... vacuum? I think that's the best way to describe it. It's a tiny, adjustable device that creates a little pocket of suction/air pressure for people with clitorises. I personally can't wait to get my hands on one when pandemic economics allow (read: when I have an income again).
I love how your talks normalize sexuality in a culture that that discourages it. On this topic I have a high sex drive so I masturbate once a day. I see it as good healthy self care and should never be something someone is ashamed of. Thank you for another great video. :)
My record is 4 times in a day (and that's only happened maybe 5 or 6 times in my life). With the help of edging, I've done it a couple of times for about 6 hours. But on average, I do it 2 or 3 times a day.
Wow, this was a very great video. I'm always worrying about what amount is okay and if I'm doing it for the health benefits or for ignoring the rest of the world.
I wish there was more sex positive channels like this, because I feel like sex positivity is a huge step towards world peace.
It's stupid that RUclips demonizes educational channels about sex positivity and learning, but then leaves up animal abuse videos.
Keep up the amazing work, Dr Doe, you are amazing. 😊💗
Needs to be more sex positive companies willing to back channels like this as well. A&E have been pretty awesome with their support.
They strike suicide prevention video
Hey! You can check out Hannah Witton (cis, straight and disabled woman) and Stevie Boebi (cis, lesbian and disabled woman) for more sex positive, fun and educational videos. Stay curious!
RUclips demonetizes videos the advertisers don't like. RUclips can't pay you money they won't get from advertisers. So it's up to you whether you care more about your videos making money or changing the world.
She’s one of the reasons I’m studying psychology and want to be a sex educator and sex/ relationship therapist... if you have an Instagram and are interested you should check out my education Instagram @learneroflove !
This is a refreshing format. I'm really into it. Also, the stats were discussed with nuance, and it feels special to hear these words compassionately.
Full चुदाई वीडियो
फोटो पर टच करें देखो
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Bottom line: We should do our bodies and ourselves good... that looks different for everyone.
Just as long as they arent ashamed. More sex education and positivity is required. Less shame.
for sure I love to take care of my body
Lol 666 likes
Curious what these numbers would look like without a shame based culture.
Times 3 for men.
Divide by 3 for women
Honestly, normalizing compassionate behaviors towards masturbation and discussion about doing it, i would imagine it would vary wildly.
Would people do it more, or less? Too many factors to say. But having a more accepting world to experience myself in, sign me up.
@@Rednilsunwood there is benefit in doing it and not doing it. There really is something good to doing it daily and also something good to doing it rarely like once a month or less. Until you've tried both you are stuck. Both are good for different reasons. Short term pleasure vs long term pleasure
You're actually wrong. But when it comes to sex partners divide by 3 for men and mulitply by 3 for women.
@@lightningandthunder4164 was going to write the same thing 😂
Mad props to the lady working to make a better world where we’re less ashamed of our bodies.
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😍
In middle school one time I was doing sit-ups on my bed and because the bed squeaked. my dad barged into my room roaring "What are you doing!?!" Growing up I was terrified of my sexuality, and never really was taught or talked to about sex. Anyone have any similar experiences?
p.s. I love doctor Doe's insight by the way; I've learned so much from her, especially about self-acceptance and feeling safe and comfortable around sex. Cheers!
Kinda: My wife caught me watching porn and scolded me bad, saying it was disgusting and she didn't wanted to touch me anymore and that she felt substituted. I tried to explain to her it wasn't the case and that it was natural, but she wouldn't listen, and a vicious cycle begun in which every time she felt angry at me she blamed it on me masturbating instead of having sex with her (despite having sex somewhat constantly, at least way more than nowadays). It didn't lasted long, but after a few months she kinda came to terms with what I told her, but at that point I had gradually closed my sexuality to her, effectively enjoying more masturbation than sex. I simply didn't trust her anymore, feeling more and more judged every time, which made things worst. It's only 10 years later, and after talking her into buying a dildo and knowing herself that things are barely starting to turn back. We're both 36.
I was living with my mom a few years ago helping take care of her when she was having kidney problems. Her husband walked in on my son in his bedroom. They both came to me, saying that, "He walked in on my son touching himself." Clearly, expecting me to go scold my son. To their surprise, I told them, "Maybe you shouldn't be walking in on someone in their bedroom and be respectful and knock on the door and wait for a response."
@valdmer the ii No offense, but your dad is a psycho.
@@apopompi I'm so sorry you're dealign with that. I lived it with my first wife: she rarely wanted sex but also had a major issue with me masturbating when I wanted it and she didn't because she felt it was "insulting" and "a statement that I'm not good enough."
Geez it's so sad reading stories about romantic/sexual partners that aren't accepting. It just makes me more paranoid about dating and stuff because I want that person to be my comfort zone, not a place where I get judged for having a sexual side to myself that isn't dictated by them. If someone is gonna shame you what's the point of having the romantic relationship? Sorry I sound depressing lol I hope you all are having a good day and good communication!
Oh my, i didnt expect to see such rookie numbers
1-3 times per day is apperently not avarage
Saaaaame!
It can be VERY normal for some people.
Like they said, it's likely under-reported...
3 times a day?
Amateur
I felt the same way
My menstrual cycle has a lot to do with my frequency. Different parts of my cycle have different levels of sexual desire. Generally speaking, while bleeding, i dont often masturbate, and during ovulation, its a lot more frequent.
I also have depression, and im still in the process of finding the correct medication for me, and some meds boost my desire, while some kill it completely. Ive actually talked to my doctor because i use masturbation as a form of stress relief and self exploration, so i try to avoid meds that kill my desire.
This is a huge reason I've not been able to be on SSRIs and SSNRIs. Orgasms are one of the few things that help me release that stress and tension too and my inability to do so used to drive me to do more destructive things. Wishing you the absolute best of luck navigating things and finding what works best for you and your body. You are definitely not alone in your struggles
Your experience is close to mine. Before the two times I was on antidepressants, I used to be able to determine where I was in my cycle just by "How much do I want to masturbate?" and "Which fantasies seem more appealing for that?"
I often masturbate just to get to sleep quick and easy :P Some nights it's more difficult to fall asleep, so it's super practical for me :D
@@evalynn1863 I'm so happy you are not on SSRIs and SSNRIs. They affect the brain seemingly permanently and not in a positive way. You are worth it.
@Khaffit as someone who takes psychiatric meds, that's probably not too high on this person's priority list. Hyper-sexuality, while it CAN cause your life to spiral when coupled with low impulse control, is not that big of a deal compared to having a coping mechanism taken away.
@Von Fields Im 18, why?
Videos in the past have been recorded and edited by professionals. Not this week. I humbly present my novice efforts and want to express extra gratitude for those who've worked with me to build this channel. Another big shoutout to Vic Liu and her book BANG!, a full color deep dive into all things masturbation which is available for preorder at bit.ly/3iFhzTd I LOVE MASTURBATION EDUCATION!!!!!!!
God, this makes me want to cry. It's so validating. My partner thinks my lack of sex drive is due to my masturbation when they are just coexisting concepts. Thank you so much, Dr Doe.
Yo, I hope you are able to communicate that sometimes people want sexual gratification without having to worry about another person's needs.
So, this is interesting. I'm a 28-year-old guy and... I can't remember when I started doing it but all I know and remember is that it's been quite constant. Even when I was into long term relationships with good and often sexual intercourse, I still had to hide away and have that me-time at least a couple of times a week. And the weird thing is if I don't do it I just feel like I'm going crazy. I can't think straight, I can't control myself if I don't "release" once in a few days, even now as a grown-ass adult.
I was starting to think there is something wrong with me... but I heard some other guys that are about the same, they have to masturbate at least once every few days in order to function properly from a mental/psychological perspective.
With a girl friend when I and she were younger, realizing that masturbation was still attractive / needed for me, we took to masturbating with each other. Was very erotic. So we kept that up, communicated more, and mixed it in with regular sex.
i know women who are the same way!! everyone’s libidos work differently, and sometimes people just gotta masturbate more often than others. it’s very human hahaha.
I can relate with the feeling of going crazy if you don't have some sort of release. I also still needed me time even when the sex was fantastic and often in my previous relationships.
Since being out of a relationship, I've noticed my sex drive has gone down, and masterbating isn't as often. But when I need to, the urge is so strong, I feel crazy and like I can't think until I after I've taken care of it. But then I'm good for another 6-9 days.
For the most part I feel healthy.
Stay curious folks!
Full चुदाई वीडियो
फोटो पर टच करें देखो
💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️❤️
I can't say I've ever been in a stable long relationship, but near daily has been my normal before, during, and after relationships. Sometimes more than once a day, sometimes not for a week or more. It's all down to mood which is itself determined by the nuances of what is going on in my life.
I love the setting of this video! Like an extension of my living room, shared with a professional talking about their specialty. Distinctly different from a bedroom or a therapist's office. I felt more casual and connected, as if I were waiting to discuss the points being raised. I even found myself mirroring Dr. Doe's posture, and leaning in!
Well, OK, I know I would feel a bit awkward having such a frank discussion literally in my living room, but that thought arose only because of how this video was made and presented, which in turn gave me more to think about. Please keep this in your roster of video sets!
OH-MY-GOSH! Why couldn’t I have heard this when I was a teenager!!?? Just wow....this was such a good topic. And you presented it so masterfully, or meaningful, or educationally, or at an age level from 1 to 100! Thank you so much! Now, I am going to open this video on my wife’s tablet tomorrow...NOT to rub it in her face, but to get her impression and feedback. I hope to have an open and educationally centered, progressively oriented discussion. One that I’ve been trying to have for years! Thanks, more than you can possibly imagine!
I hope the discussion goes well!
So how did it go?
This makes me feel slightly better about having two hour sessions fueled by the desperate need for enough dopamine lol
Damn why does that hit so close to home?? Hope you're doing well.
@@j.o.w.4099 thanks, I'm feeling better now!
@123 That's so gross and uncalled for.
LOL ME
I feel your pain, once or twice a day.
Honestly, it's all I have left to me. My wife passed in early 2018 and even before that Cancer was destroying her body to the point that having intimacy was dangerous for her. Now that I'm a widower you'd think I would just be able to get out there and try dating but I found that I'm still very much in love with my wife and seeing someone else feels like such a betrayal so self care is what I have. I know sounds pathetic but don't judge, I hope you never have to go through what she or I went through.
We had a similar path. My wife suffered for her last four years with Alzheimer's, passing early 2020 after 41 years together. I understand the concern feels like something of a betrayal, but your spouse would want you happy & healthy.
I don't think it sounds pathetic. It's . . . honorable? Or something. imho.
There's nothing pathetic about dealing with loss. You're not wrong to decide what's right for you. And you won't be wrong if it changes later... or if it doesn't. Just keep some friends and family in your life for stability and relax, because you're doing the best you can with what you have and are suffering the least you can.
Also, it's very common for widowers, if you do find someone, to... well... they're always going to be #2. Nothing's taking her place in your heart. You and any hypothetical other interest would have to be okay with that.
You're normal, not pathetic.
Losing a spouse IS terrible in itself and then the loneliness sets in to haunt you & your heart among many other mental games. However being pathetic IS NOT one of them. I lost my wife in March of 2019 and was in such a turmoil, I found myself doing and going places I never imagined and then the pandemic happened & saved me LOL. As such I choose not to think about seeking out a partner and enjoy being by myself more (not even a pet). The heart is a fickled thing and will let you know when you’re ready....... don’t worry, we’ll all be OK in due time as long as we stay safe & true to ourselves. Peace Y’all 😊
@@loueynlv1 Well said. Hope life become more kind and prosperous for you!
Wow I’ve never heard of sexual anorexia, that’s really interesting. Great video!! We don’t talk about this enough!
I heard the term recently and had no idea what it was. Interesting to know.
Good video, my wife and I were just talking about this. We felt sad that there are people apparently even some friends of ours who are denied a basic self relief by their partners or their up bringing. Personally I feel it brings emotional steadiness.
The husband who's wife does not want sex but he is not allowed self relief? or vice versa sometimes guys turn off their sex drive. Reminds me of some cultures that when one spouse dies the other dies as well?
I send your videos to my class’ facebook group and I keep getting DMs thanking me and you for letting them know, I hope this one can help some too
"NO MORE SHOULDS!" Poor doggo has worried eyes.
"Get the Shoulds out of here!" needs to be some sort of merch.
@Martin Owens I agree, either "Get the 'SHOULDS' outta here!" or #NOMORESHOULDS merch would be awesome! 👍
Woah, I didn't even notice there was a dog in the video till I read this comment.
I lived in group homes a lot with 10 boys living together. They all make fun of each other for "probably" playing with themselves but in the dark they likely were doing the same thing as they made fun of others for doing. So there's stigma, but hypocritical stigma. I was curious as a teen too. I went to a college library and got a card. They might have thought it was weird to checkout 20 books on sex, but there was no internet then. I don't care what others think of me.
Librarians generally aren’t judgemental.
They probably would have wanted to know if you wanted help carrying those tbh
When you get that many boys together, they begin to help each other out
Dr. Doe you and Shannon Boodram are the reason I’m going to school to become a sex therapist and sex educator and why I created my learner of love Instagram page! Understanding Sexuality is so important in self worth and confidence and in turn compassion for others. By being accepting of ourselves we are able to accept others.
I gotta remember not to associate SAA with Sex Addicts Anonymous -- my wife is a member of the Society of American Archivists, which is also known as SAA . . . .
Or Single Action Army
I'm also a member of the Society of American Archivists. My ex is a member of the Society of American Anthropologists.
South African Airways
@@McBehrer unus annus?
1:40 So important when it comes to male insecurities around their female partner masturbating (the data available is cis and I identify as heterosexual so I by no means am meaning to say it's not important for other relationship configurations). There is a stigma around female masturbation in the first place (teenage girls giggling that they don't do it...the song "She Bop"...the historical stigma continues) but I find that women hide and/or lie about it to their male partners because of various social expectations around when sexual activity and arousal is appropriate (ie. a woman should only engage in anything sexual with her husband - a very antiquated way of thinking). But this shame also impacts female sex lives as they may be embarrassed to show their partner what they like or touch themselves while engaging in intercourse. Generally, it's always been socially acceptable to acknowledge that males masturbate (and slang terms used all the time justify that) but it's a little "kinky" and "taboo" to acknowledge women when it comes to any part of sexual pleasure.
Right? I had that exact same narrative written in my brain and I was obviously becoming less and less interested in having sex because I was constantly faking because I wasn't telling what I liked. It made me miserable. I'm so happy I got comfortable talking it out though
Doe, you are an amazing voice in the wilderness. As a 54 Y.O. male, to hear you explain to everyone that normal means what's normal for you. Helping men and women, of all ages to grasp what a healthy activity this should be and how positive it should be for you, no matter how frequent you do it. You point out so eloquently how partners do have different needs but that doesn't mean the other person isn't meeting them, it just mean we have individual needs for self care. Thank you for being an intelligent voice in the internet noise box.
My depression and anxiety disorder really effects my sex life in a negative way so I'm glad to see this video. I struggle with sexual anorexia. I don't do it very often because my depression shames me and convinces me that I don't deserve to be happy. It's pretty sad and I want to overcome it. So I really apprecaite this video. You talking about how it is self care really helps destigmatize and eradicate shame surrounding this topic.
See if you can track down the book: Womens Anatomy of Arousal, by Sheri Winston. Not only will you learn so much about your body, but she gives a lot of advice on overcoming negative beliefs and a bad self image/talk. I have improved my self-confidence and self-image of my body with it, and I went from very mechanically performing masturbation (done in 2 min, with a 'meh' orgasm) to literally spending a good hour or more, and crying after my third orgasm in one session by myself. It has really changed my sex life with my husband too, if you have a partner. If the beginning of the book feels a little too "new age-y" for you, skip to the anatomy, and go back to it when you want to learn more about channeling your energy, to be fully present and feel deeply.
Has anyone else's frequency gone way up during lockdown...
Oddly enough no
Not everyone's opportunities change that much with lockdown. If you're already doing it as much as you care to, being home alone a lot won't really change that.
Yes, and I definitely use it to avoid thing /:
It's actually been kind of frustrating tbh lol. Mine has gone up because stress has increased and it's one of the only forms of release I get now, but also I've been in therapy working through some of the physical trauma I've experienced that took away from the pleasure I get from it. So now it's becoming more pleasurable and more necessary, but I'm also never alone lol
No increase or decrease in masturbation. Safer marital sex has increased somewhat due to working 20h/week instead of 50h/week and beeing able to spend time together in general.
Had this pandemic happened in my teens, instead of mid thirties, it would most likely not have affected masturbation much either as I already masturbated at least once a day, not so much nowdays.
The evolution of this channel from a clinical machine gun data points delivery to a more personal, informal and friendly discussion is refreshing, welcome and encouraged!
Lindsay: "No more shoulds!"
Dog: O.O
I could write an essay about how important I think this video is, but I think letting the video speak for itself is important. Thank you Dr Doe!
I will be 38 this Saturday and I am so glad to have discovered your channel. I am still working through my sexuality and I love your energy and non judgment zone.
Thanks very much for such a... therapeutic approach? This seemed to be the closest to what a therapy session would be like with you, and it really showed a different version of your professional, caring, curious, empathetic approach. Thanks very much!
Thank you Dr. Doe for all you do with this channel! It is EXTREMELY VALIDATING to hear this. It feels like the glass wall blocking my well being gets more cracked a bit more each time I watch your videos.
I've been having some incredible depression lately, and I masturbate less frequently when I'm depressed. I'm starting to feel better (although it's a process, and I backslid a bit a couple days ago), and I'm masturbating a bit more now that I'm having energy and fighting the intrusive thoughts.
I used to have a lot of conflict about masturbation. Church trauma, definitely. I remember when I first started feeling shame around my own body, and I wasn't ever able to talk about it until I got older.
I love my body when I am able.
I'm unhappy because at 74 my meds make masturbating ( my only sexual outlet) fruitless. Frustrating. Sad. I masturbate a lot but orgasm maybe 3 times a year😭
same thing for me, i started depression meds and i masterbated for the first time in months and they say those are supposed to screw up sex drive (that was a major reason i didn't take them for so long, i didn't want it to get worse)
@@Tradinghonest Yes. I take an anti-depression med, have chronic pain --so need and benefit from pain meds, and would have high BP except it's corrected by meds. My PCP said all 3 of those make sexuality more difficult, i.e., erections. Generic Viagra (from India) helps. But frequency is way down. I'm just as or could be just as visually interested as ever. (Abt 15 years ago I learned that doesn't change, just adding some years).
YYYYYUP fellow church trauma survivor here! the journey to self-love is a long & difficult one, but we will get there eventually. ❤️
I'm a little lucky in that my current antidepressant does not affect me sexually. I have had some that made it... inefficient.
I have noticed that when I am full of anxiety and mental tension, and can't sleep, after I choke the chicken and shoot the goo, I fall asleep like a baby, it's better than sleeping pills !
When you living with a family member during the covid lockdown in a studio apartment...yep.
Think about the bath or shower thats your space your creating for some time so use it to your advantage
Yep...what Sam said 😉!
Wow Omg RIP 😭😭
This was such a helpful video for me. 💙 I used to masturbate all the time but I started taking antidepressants almost a year ago and it's made it almost impossible to orgasm, so it's taken the joy out of masturbating. My husband masturbates three to four times a week and I found myself feeling really jealous and inferior, to the point that I asked him to stop masturbating so much.
This video really helped me see that I have some things I need to work on and stop feeling inferior compared to a toy. I have an apology I need to go make. Thank you so much!
This made me feel so relieved. As a sex educator myself I feel pressured to masturbate regularly. Thank you Dr. Doe. You inspire me always
An excellent, mature, articulate, well researched "rant," that needs to be heard. Plus your tan is lovely.
I really appreciate you doing this. When i was young, I had the urge to do it daily, but due to catholic guilt, it really tore into me mentally. It wasn't until I left my religion that I felt not bad about my sexuality. Which is funny, because I am asexual. (most likely, i am still confused to this day) When all you get in school is "Here is how a baby is formed, abortion bad, no sex until marriage." and at home "Hey get back to studying!" it is hard to figure things out. Fortunately for me, since I did not and still do not have attraction towards others I never did anything with people and thus avoided having messed up big time. As an adult now it is about 3-4 times a week or so? Have done it twice in a day about every month or so. Usually about things that aren't even sex, like the Rotten tomatoes rating of Batman vs Superman or bad Stadia news.
I was raised super conservative Baptist and can relate to the tremendous guilt and shame and every Sunday hearing that even thinking about a woman being attractive was a sin cause its "lust" according to what jesus said. I'm 24 now and havent gone there in years and I still have trouble sometimes feeling guilt and shame
@@AaronEllisOfficial ( T_T)＼(^-^ ) there there
Wow. That moment when you said that masturbation can be self care, that is huge. Masturbation IS self care to me. It does fluctuate with life and my mental health at the time, but good Lord this is so validating. Thank you so much for this Lindsey. I hope you're well as well ❤
i’ve learned that “shoulds” are actually judgements in disguise
Your advice is always so positive, inclusive, judge free, and SUPER IMPORTANT! I am currently getting my Master's is Marriage and Family Therapy and Sex Therapy and plan to become a licensed sex therapist. I would love to create content like yours one day that helps so many people find the education and acceptance they desperately need. Thank you for your wonderful mark on the world. It has immeasurable value!
What kind of time and privacy do you have? BINGO!!!!!!!!! Quarentine has KILLED everything. Kids around 24-7 and I can never escape!
"Kids, go in the other room for an hour or so. Mommy needs.... to nap. Yes, nap, that's it..."
IceMetalPunk lol
Yet one more reason the ex wife and I never had kids. Truth be known... I really wish we would have. Kant go back in time even though I would in a New York Second. 🤔
@@IceMetalPunk Can I help you Ma'am..? 😁
Warren Pouyer Sir this is a Wendy’s
I have been watching for a few years as of now. I can honestly say thank you 🙏 and I cannot believe you do not have a million subscribers.
Lindsey, your energy seems a bit different in this episode. I'm not sure if it's just the frustration associated with the topic or if something more is going on, but I hope you're doing okay and taking care of yourself. Hang in there.
It's the first time since DoeEyes that I recorded myself, no videographer. That meant I was also attending to lights, camera position, and camera operation without much training. Oh, and no script so you're getting a very raw Lindsey. I'm doing well. Grateful that this is being received positively and happy to mix it up. Thanks for checking in.
@@sexplanations that's good to know.
@@sexplanations What is DoeEyes?
@@sexplanations that was just a very nice and caring vid. You are wonderful Dr Doe x
Love that you called it "self-care". I've been calling it that for years. So now that "self care" is all the rage, i just chuckle and raise an eyebrow.
3000 times in one year is just over 8 times a day, for your sex math statistics.
Theres no way someone does that tho
@@shwkq310 oh I know, but she had posted a video about sex and math a few weeks ago, so I wanted to do some quick math for her obvious hyperbolic situation.
@@shwkq310 There are people who exceed this level, hence the part where it starts to interrupt, life, family, relationships, work, school, this is where the act is problematic, and if it is causing issues where SAA can help.
There is one should we as a people need to discuss and embrace - we should be making this type of education available for teens and young adults (not saying older people don't need it but). Young people have enough new surprises without having to figure out how to deal with questions of what is healthy/unhealthy sexually. We need to recognize that mental and emotional health is health and sexual expression is part of that. Thank you Dr. Doe for providing this needed education.
Thank You for all the work you do
Dr. Doe, I enjoy your conversation about masturbation it’s very important to know so many of these interesting facts.
At a very young age I was told that playing with myself that was dirty and morally wrong, my mom even took me to our minister for a Christian cleansing.
I spent several weeks every Saturday for one hour getting taught what all was wrong with myself pleasing. I started finding more and more hiding place to increase my daily masturbation, plus I found a neighbor buddy that was into the very same pleasuring!
Sure wish you had of been around back in my times. Thanks for all you do and say! Appreciate you very much.
Thank you so much for saying "sexual anorexia" i've never heard the term but it is so fitting
You are one awesome lady. I have always enjoyed and been educated by your videos. I wish everyone had the level of maturity and emotional intelligence that you possess, including myself. Each time I watch one of your videos, I inch ever closer. Thank you so much for your content. I understand it has been difficult for you at times and I applaud you for your courage and your humanity. You are one of my heros and I felt the need to tell you, I hope you are not offended by my statement.
I'll be 60 in less than a month and I masturbate 4 times a day, sometimes more but rarely less. I don't have a girl friend or wife. I found out 3 yrs ago I'm bipolar. It's my understanding that this may be one of the factors causing this situation. I've listen to many of your videos but you never mention about mental health being an underlying condition to sex issues. I do have some of the past drama you have mention in this video. Love your videos. I think you're doing great service for people like me. I always stay curious.
Good for you, Tom. I'm 73 and average 6X per week. sometimes skip a day, sometimes do it two times or three. It all works out.
I love this channel & this person so much. I'm sad that she had to stop posting & was experiencing so much kickback from RUclips.
This has been really interesting to listen to, though the stats at the beginning really had me twitch nervously.
Those statistics would say I have a abnormally high sex drive. Like 4 times a week?
I could easily go multiple times a day, with sex included. And I still work, play, socialise, it doesn't direct my life.
I fit it in when I am alone, comfortable and have time.
I also find I feel more regularly aroused when I have been more social. If I have been working non stop the want diminishes.
And until this video, never really thought anything of it.
Reading some of the comments, seems I am also extremely lucky.
Thank you Dr. Doe, I feel like these days you are just giving your opinions on things straightforwardly. I really appreciate it. Including the part in a previous video about how it should take effort to climb towards an orgasm. That it's part of the process and important. It's really made an increase to the overall quality of my sexlife because I no longer think about effort put into orgasm as a detractor. Now I just take it as part of the journey. It's a huge mental relief.
I'm commenting about that video on this one because the point is that it's stuck with me. This wasn't some temporary in one ear and out the other thing.
As someone with POIS I do it to sedate myself for the rest of the day so that my mind isn't constantly distracted with sexual thoughts.
Thank you for this video! As always, important ideas given with compassion and understanding! Information that I wish I'd had 40 years ago!!
Stay safe and keep up the important work!!
Thank you at 58 I'm very much healthy sex positive and loving it. People like you help lots, wish there was more of you to spread the love!❤️❤️❤️
you are such a fun person to watch. still enjoying myself after many years!
I'm 58 and once per day is normal for me. I'm a smoker and on a beta-blocker, so I count myself very lucky.
It's been a bit since I've watched your vids, but I love how you've constructed your videos to be more personal.
what the heck I literally had a rant about this exact topic right before this was uploaded
In rare cases, some individuals may masturbate more than they desire, which may:
👍
cause them to miss work, school, or important social events
interrupt a person’s daily functioning
affect their responsibilities and relationships
serve as an escape from relationship issues or substitute for real-life experiences
It feels so good. And i.feel relaxed and laid back afterwards.
I can't appreciate your channel enough. This is exactly what so many people need to hear.
Always found whole 'NoFap' movement highly suspect personally..
I never understood HOW. 1/day has been my minimum since starting in my 20s. I'd explode.
Suspect how? Have you not heard Lindsey? It's totally legit and you should be respectful of other people's sexualities.
@@olisk-jy9rz Suspect as in, I was being facetious. Lighten up champ.
@@olisk-jy9rz
The basic idea is well and good but they come of as almost cult-like. It's definitely not the best community out there for this sort of thing.
Some people on NoPorn also avoid masturbation if they feel one leads to the other.
@@DannyboyO1 so you are saying alot more now
Absolutely love you. Fantastic advice, great data and easy to digest. It isn't water down just plain and what it is rather than talk around. Always 👍
This is so wholesome and lovely, thank you.
Excellent video as usual.
3:00 Sleepy dog on the left
“Mommy is just talking about mating again... Humans are super, super weird!”
Maybe he’s just resting after he was done!✌️🤪👍
Can you talk about “Cupid’s Poison Arrow” by Marnia Robinson? Not many people talk about these side effects to dopamine, energy levels, drops in hormones, etc.
I usually do it once a week. That’s enough for me.
This week has been different though...
How was that week different jw
One of your most informative videos to date. People should talk more openly about this.
I must be in the minority, I started at 10 and by 12 it was more than once a day.. By 13 it was 2-3 times a day.
I started when I was 11, so - not too far after.
2:26 I think also mental health and how open we are about our sexuality are also huge factors. Masturbation can be a way of self-harm and sometimes can be the only way we have to vent our repressed desires.
I appreciate you bringing up this topic.
Edit: I used to masturbate excessively and feel so terriblely about it. Nowadays, I still do it a lot but it’s not causing me day-to-day dysfunctioning. After I accepted my homosexuality, most of the shame is gone and after reach out for therapy I’m not using it as a self-harm anymore. But I live in a very homophobic environement so the only expression of my sexuality is masturbating on porn or on fantasies about what my prince charming would be like.
It eases cramps a lot. I wish more people knew that.
Has it helped you ease cramps? How? I heard it does.
This was so incredibly helpful in every aspect possible.
I’ve always loved you, you’re great, this is great, I just felt all anxiety leave my body like thank you.
Is that a fun factory toy I see? I love fun factory toys.
Amazing as always Lindsey. Your rants are always really enjoyable. I've always felt a few times a weak with different ways to be really right for me and I hope others can find their own level. Your making me wish more and more that I had gone down the sexual therapist/doctor when I was younger. Stupid parents blocking my path and stupid mind.. thank you as always Lindsey
I usually only do it once or twice a month, if that. Sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on how I feel. I find sexual things interesting, but probably not in the way that most people do. It doesn't really arouse me that much. I like admiring nice looking bodies though
I love how you explained this, and how you reach out to every spectrum. I went to saa and from here. Decided what was acceptable and best for me. It was a wonderful group of people. In the end, of this part of my journey, I have found acceptance of myself from me was the best course. As for the stats Doe gives I am way higher than normal and this is okay. I am not everyone else and nor can I ever be. As for my relationships I am still growing and learning. Everyone is different and needs to be given thier own lense on which something is built. On much of this I can be wrong, but that is life. Apart of growing and learning.
3...to 4 times a month? How do they live?
I go every 10 days or so. When life gets busy it becomes a forethought. And crazy urges help drive workouts and work
@@freecleets i understand busy, but when i'm not busy, like days off, vacation, relaxing after work...well... a month is a day. But it's more like an interminable nag than waiting for the opportunity- drive a workout? i can't focus unless i drive it out!
Idk about other people, but for me it's more like once every other month, because I get UTIs E X T R E M E L Y easily, and tbh I'd rather be ridiculously horny all day for a couple days than have chronic UTIs :(
Be it on on the method or the frequency, there's a lot of "shoulds" surounding masturbation. Some of it's society, some of it's self-generated, but thanks to people like you "shoulds" are fading little by little every day. Thank you Dr. Doe :)
I started at 12 but I was home schooled with nothing better to do 😂
Soooo, an average of once a day for a woman for over 15 years is probably way too much? Lol
I honestly use it to help me relax and fall asleep before bed. Depending on my cycle will depend on if I do it or not. Usually if I’m bleeding then it’s a no go, during ovulation I will be more frequent. I have been almost 1 year on the Skyla IUD though and it’s thrown my desire all over the place so my average has changed to A LOT less this year. The IUD itself isn’t the issue just the cramping, random spotting and random exhaustion
What's wrong with 7-20 times a day ?
Nothing... Other than it might hurt 😋
@@legzfalloffgirl5148 Nope we're good !!!, thanks for the concern.
chafing, thats why
@@Evilbob33 Nope !, me thinks that you might be projecting Bob !
@@Evilbob33 i mean if youre using lube, you shouldnt chaff
I love your platform ❣️honest facts from an educated doctor and a true compassionate woman 🕊
When I was a teen I did it 7 times a day, this has slowed down to 1time a day at 49.
Yeah time slowes you down
In my mid teens I could do it four times in an hour. Time certainly has its effect unfortunately.
@@DavidSmith-ze2wi how old are you now jw
@@jamesfranz7508 Seventy five but I can still fire a shot just not a salvo.
@@DavidSmith-ze2wi where you from jw
I so love your outlook on everything.. You’re most definitely someone I could really get to know... Thanks for everything you do.. Terry
4 - 5 times per day. Anyone else?
What wow I don't know how you do that
I’m personally 1-2
@@MaxAndCheese0917 a day
When I was younger yes. Then it became twice a day but not everyday. Up until the last 6 months, I was doing it once everyday (usually after I woke up in the morning) and sometimes 2nd time in afternoon or evening.
@@andypetrelli8193 wow
This vid felt really heavy & personal, your vibe was kinda intense, anyway, when you were referencing spectrum all i kept thinking about was that whole Buddhist 'in the now' thing, especially when you suggested Dr Doe's 2020 spectrum rating could be different than 2021's rating, food for thought. A dynamic perspective is kind of assumed when referencing things like spectrums, most, simply don't have that app installed in their little brains(which is not to say that they can't install it), but the US is riddled with metrics/ratings/maps with 'you are here'. A spectrum is simply like taking the temperature of right now, it's value is only to be had if you log that data over time. Ya know, weather might be a good metaphor in future explanations of the subject. ;) Love your work and your humanity, Dr. Doe.
Everyone else is having very enlightening comments but I want to know what that second sex toy was! I have no clue how that would even be used 😂
It's a little ctitoral... vacuum? I think that's the best way to describe it. It's a tiny, adjustable device that creates a little pocket of suction/air pressure for people with clitorises. I personally can't wait to get my hands on one when pandemic economics allow (read: when I have an income again).
I love how your talks normalize sexuality in a culture that that discourages it. On this topic I have a high sex drive so I masturbate once a day. I see it as good healthy self care and should never be something someone is ashamed of. Thank you for another great video. :)
Holy fu*k-sexual anorexia makes so so so so much sense! I had no idea this was a thing. *wow thank you*
I didn't know how much I needed a video like this until I watched it. Thank you Lindsey. Thank you so much.
Porn addiction is also definitely a thing please talk about this!
My record is 4 times in a day (and that's only happened maybe 5 or 6 times in my life). With the help of edging, I've done it a couple of times for about 6 hours. But on average, I do it 2 or 3 times a day.
RUclips: 10 comments.
Me: Oh cool can I see them?
RUclips: StOoPiD, I ain't even gon let you get the CHANCE-
Wow, this was a very great video. I'm always worrying about what amount is okay and if I'm doing it for the health benefits or for ignoring the rest of the world.