What to Do When Relationships Go Sideways
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- Опубликовано: 17 сен 2024
- What to Do When Relationships Go Sideways
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I'm glad John called out the mom for not stopping that father from going nuts. I don't even have kids but no one is talking to my loved ones in that way
I immediately felt a knot in my throat when John said "you have to reclaim your childhood". Many times the oldest sibling becomes the substitute parent, forcing them to grow faster and skip that beautiful childhood phase.
Dr. John is intense. He dissects the issues and allows the caller to see clearly what the problem is and how to potentially move forward. Great man. Daily listener here. Thanks Dr. John!
Everytime Dr. JD says you are worth it, I feel like he's talking to ME! Good job guys.
Wow!! I can so relate to her. My mom was left with 3 yo twins & i was 16 & felt i had to step in so my mom could go to work for all of us...so i became their 2nd mother. I'm so like her ... don't feel like I can be silly nor able to laugh; like I always have to be the "adult." I'm always so very serious that people think I'm mad & it makes me unapproachable. I know my flaws...😔😔.
1st Caller, I spent 16-18 mourning a stolen childhood and I felt like I really needed to. It really helps you heal from a childhood marked by something it shouldn't have been.
The second call was really intense ... as a female listener, I could tell she was coming face to face with the reality and truth of her's/children's lives. They're not safe, period.
At least she is recognizing it. My dad still to this day tells me to do whatever my mom wants so she stops yelling. He ended up driving me out of their life so I would stop falling short of her expectations.
The first caller is so helpful for us parents or many. To be careful not to let this become the story of our oldest kids. 🙏
The downside to the advice to the first caller is that those situations are where robotically she will switch into mom mode. She has to plan it out. Then she has to make sure it is fun…and when it happens she will automatically be concentrating on everyone else’s fun. As a big sister-mom who knew kids needed silly times, those were work, not fun. We find ourselves gauging our siblings’ (and by extension, everyone’s) moods and try to add in that silly face or kind word to keep things happy. And as a sibling to adults, not their mom, a water balloon fight will just reinforce the “with the kids” feeling for both her and them. She is hanging out with adults, and while balloon fights rock, she needs to set up a situation where she isn’t in charge of whether or not it is fun and can engage them as equals, not responsibilities. Then, do some fun-by-herself things to learn how to have it before trying the group party.
Essentially, she didn't get a childhood. Big gap, there!
I reclaimed my childhoid by having some very fun times with my child. Putting together kites and going out in a field flying them comes to mind! Dancing! Singing to Peter Paul and Mary when she was young, as loud as we could!
And though I was doing these things for my daughter, I now realize that I likely benefitted as much or more than she did.
I think many students athletes have experienced this with their parents who were also athletes. Good topic. Very common.
Totally relate to first born issues. The way i put that down was laughing freer and not maintaining the role by admitting when i didnt know something and being honest abt my shortcomings. The facade of big sister served my ego, letting that go was huge for me to become myself and put the long-held and no longer necessary responsibility down. Plus i was able to acknowledge and celebrate the strengths of everyone else.
From one Houstonian to another, I love your diversity when it comes to music. Only someone from H-Town can truly appreciate that. The song of the day is icing on the cake for a great show and something we look forward to. Keep up the great work and we appreciate all you do.
The first caller really hits home 😔
I'm one of 11 kids. Parent kids unite! 🙏😁
I love this show never stop Delony. I feel like i have a problem every week i need to call in with 😅
Great calls today, good luck to the second caller with her husband🙏🏻
I found it! For some reason RUclips stopped notifying me of new videos even though I'm subscribed and watch every show. 😅
Artis NF has great songs as well. 🔥
Happy to hear she left her cheating husband and is doing well
The first caller I can identify with! 9 kids and both parents passed away… I’m even surprised she had 3 kids! I had 1 child only and that brought out some the ugly side of playing parents to your siblings in the past.
The 2nd caller… most infidelities in relationships never really recover! You just learn to put up with it until you can’t anymore. I feel for her those kids! Those kids need to be protected.
This is why, if you ask most experts in the field, it's not a good idea for a parent to be their child's primary athletic coach. While it does work out sometimes, most can not separate the parent and coaching roles, and take everything the kid does too personally.
@Buena Petite You think that she had trauma that she didn't mention?
She has never laughed. She has never eaten dessert. She had no youth hood because she was stricken with pregnancy at 19.
She stated that her husband is totally Goofy, yet she never laughs.
28?? She sounds 40. Maybe it's the phone quality, but I think she sounds prematurely aged by the life she's led.
Must be your quality speaker because I think she sounds late 20’s.
She sounds older because she needs some joy in her life.
Yeah she sounds so drained I pray she finds some joy. She deserves it.
She does sound very burdened
Can you please please post the info on the caged bear referenced author and material and make Crazy sports dad a highlight 🙏🏽
Dr. Nadine Burke-Harris
Can anyone link the call with Mary that he references at the end of the show? It would be nice if it was in the drop down for this video - just a suggestion to whomever uploads the vids. Thanks!
They did a small segment named “My husband is on his fourth affair (is it over)?
Second called needs to protect the children, yes, but can't delay addressing her rationship with the husband with a GIRLFRIEND!!! Unless, I'm mistaken. Oxygen mask on oneself in order to help others!
💜💙🤟🏾
She didn’t experience trauma just because she mothered her younger siblings!!! That happens a lot in families.
You don’t know what she went through.
Lol try some empathy. This is EXACTLY what it feels like as an oldest of a large family. Very traumatic to have to parent your younger siblings, then watch those siblings get the childhood and attention and parents that you always wished for.
One of my friend went through this. They were in the middle of a public place, and the mom said " I am tired I am out" and told my friend (the oldest) that she was in charge. She was 12, and had to wrangle 6 younger kids by herself in the middle of a crowd including a baby and 2 toddlers, or else.... When that happens all the time, yes, that's traumatic. You are not supposed to be dealing with this at 12.
Got to add in drug abuse in the dad, emotional neglect, maybe emotional abuse, physical neglect, she was going into puberty and no one to talk to because mom was working and she was mom. We don't know the struggles she walked through as a teenager likely alone because she didn't mention any other adult came along side her through this either. Please don't compare traumas.