When I transitioned, my best friend at the time started calling me "old man" as kind of a joking nod to Jadzia Dax. As with Sisko and Dax, it was a private thing between us. Misgendering is condescending, in my opinion, a way of saying "I'm not going to enable you by indulging in your little fantasy--I'm going to call you what *I* think you are." As if I were a child and had to be corrected for my own good.
The Tagalog language (the main language spoken in the Philippines) uses a single gender neutral word for 'he' and 'she'. The word is 'siya'. That's why Filipinos when speaking in English would sometimes mix up using the pronouns 'he' and 'she'. When my family moved to America and we started speaking English more and more, i had to train myself to use the gender-specific pronouns properly.
If I ever misgender or miscommunicate in anyway that makes my allies feel less than human, pleeeease tell me. I'd rather be embarassed and fix my ignorance than to make someone else feel bad. I'm a creature of habit and I can sometimes lean in habits over careful interaction. I am so glad I discovered this channel thanks to Picard Day.
Fun fact relating to this: The Singular They is actually an OLD pronoun, older than "You". English speakers were using "they/them/theirs" as a pronoun for a single person when the second person pronouns were still "thou" and "thee". So don't let anybody bullsh#t you into thinking this is some new thing that those youngsters with their tumblrs and their twitters came up with. It's as classic as William F*%king Shakespeare. As you were.
Not native English speaker. We didn't learn they/them/theirs as neutral singular in school... i guess the teacher had a hard time enough to teach us the nonsensical 'you' ('you are' and 'you are' were the most confusing things to learn back then... btw, one is plural and the other one is singular, if you haven't guessed, lol). English is so simple that past a certain point it becomes confusing. I remember when I first read about they/them on-line I got angry that the US people multi-purposed yet another freaking pronoun instead of inventing a new word for the neutral gender... but nah, they just pulled out one from the middle ages and decided to use it again.
7:58 "If I can look at someone and get their age wrong by looking at them, why can't we acknowledge that we may get someone's gender wrong, even when it's obvious?" Brilliant quote Jessie!
I have the opposite “problem”, although my family calls it the “genetic gift”: everyone in my mom's family looks young; my grandpa looked 65 when he was 90, my mom looks like she's 45-50 when she's actually 70, & I look like I'm 25-30 when I'm actually 43. I usually say that's why I'm so HORRIBLE at judging age, because I never had accurate examples.
I thought that one interesting aspect of The Cogenitor episode of Star Trek: Enterprise is that the third gender was necessary for reproduction. It is the reverse of the argument used by some people who claim that both homosexuality and transgender identity are abominations due to a perceived lack of reproductive purpose. This episode confronts that argument directly showing that the argument isn't really about reproduction, it is about oppressing a gender minority in an attempt to control them. We may have a ways to go in our society, but I have seen genuine change for the better. I know people who openly admit that they do not understand transgender identity (for example, a politically conservative, gun-toting ex-military father who has a trans daughter) but respect the human who is transgender and uses that person's preferred pronouns. I see him as an example of hope for the future, that empathy and love for each other will continue the transformation of our society.
Thank you so much for commenting on the Jadzia/Old Man thing. I identify so strongly with Jadzia (I kind of named myself after her) but that was something I had a hard time reconciling for myself. Your take on it is brilliant. :) And overall, great video.
To me, as English is not my mother tounge, this is very fascinating to listen to. In German the plural pronoun (they/them) is the same as female. (And the formal adressing of strangers/ a sign of respect; Sie) And funfact: German has several nouns for females that are corresponding to the genderless/non-living-thing related it (e.g.: the girl = das Mädchen - diminuitive form of die Magd; the woman (old timey, nowadays dismissive) = das Weib)
And for Dutch, the plural and the female are the same pronoun as well (ze), and the formal is a different one (u). When I say "ze", the verb tells the difference. As English ain't my mother tongue. My mother tongues are Dutch and Limburgish. I speak German as well. And they all do the plural/female the same thing. And that makes me wonder how I should translate.
Jessie, I adore all you do. I stumbled on your page when looking for info on upcoming Star Trek shows. Discovery and continued on with Picard. Your love of the subject is delightful and I enjoy your insights. Am grateful that along they way you have educated me and answered questions that I've always been reluctant to ask. As I feared being disrespectful or prying into private matters. As for myself, I consider myself an ally. I believe that any misunderstanding or confusions can be bridged with compassionate listening, kindness, respect and acceptance of human expressing itself and their individuality. Not to mention out love, admiration of Star Trek that brings us all together. Thank you.
This really moved and informed me to see just how harmful it is to use the wrong word. I would like to post this on my Twitter feed with your permission. Most are not Star Trek fans but this is so informative. I think everyone needs to hear this. I won't post until I have your permission.
Since I first found your channel, there is something I have wanted to share with you, but I've been reluctant to do so. I was so excited to see a female Trekkie with an intellectually stimulating and fun channel. I felt a kinship there. I see you as a woman, like me. Just because your life's journey started out differently than my own doesn't change that. However, I've been afraid to say so for fear that I will say the wrong thing. and be accidentally offensive. I appreciate you explaining gender issues with Trek., too. It makes it easier to understand. Thanks for doing what you do.
Now this isn't really a debate I have a place in since I'm a bisexual cis male, but I also wish to show my support Also I'm really tired, it's past 1 am, so I'm unable to be insightful right now Species 8472 has 7 sexes. Chew on that, conservatives
I can relate to the pronoun anxiety you brought up. One of my best friends started transitioning after we graduated from college, and sometimes I would still say 'she' instead of 'they'. Each time I kind of flinched, and I still sometimes feel like I should get it right all the time now. One thing about pronouns is that sometimes, especially around people who don't 'look conventionally binary or cis', I try not to ask because I feel like they must get this all the time. I feel like asking their pronouns comes off as....I don't know, condescending? I want to get better at this, but I just really don't want somebody to feel like I'm addressing them in the way similar to those comments you started the video with. I know that I don't mean it in a dehumanizing way, but my fear is that it may not come off that way. Interesting to note, this is much easier in some languages and much more difficult in others. Languages like Turkish and Finnish lack grammatical gender, even with pronouns! In Turkish, he/she/they is just 'o', which is the same word for 'that. However, I speak Hebrew, and like Arabic, it poses a LOT of issues with gender neutral language. At the present, it is actually kind of impossible. For example, verbs change based on gender and number. In the present tense, there are four options: to write - lichtov kotev - a male writes kotevet- a female writes kotvim - many males or a mixed group writes kotvot - many females write Essentially, the language as is spoken today simply doesn't allow for gender neutrality The case is similar with Arabic. That said, a lot of queer Jews are working hard at adjusting the language to include non-binary people.
Thank you for this. It's wonderful. I was misgendered several times today and just hearing from somebody who understands this, even parasocially, made me feel a lot better.
Jessie, that was such an awesome video. I always admire how open you are about many parts of being trans and how open and neutral you can talk about the pronoun issue, the not-sticking-into-categories-thing and the many other parts which can be so very painful many of us.
I’ve always thought of Odo and the founders as the quintessential examples of transgenderism in Trek. Odo appears as a male in form most of the time because he was emulating dr. Mora who is male, the same could be said to be true for the “female changling” or any of the others in the great link.
In the mosaic that is my life, I have a partner with their own little pieces making up a whole. I'm rarely misgendered in person but it happens a LOT if they see my name by itself. My partner on the other hand, is often misgendered in public. Never as a slight, always as a person not paying that careful an attention. We're both a mosaic of gender and I admit that I think we both prefer the safety of letting "the outside" think whatever makes them not hurt us. I think as Jadzia has a variety of experiences, the mosaic comes out in her. I don't recall discussions of trill gender outside that of the humanoids they share their lives with. Same for the Gaould (sp) Thank you for your hard work on this.
What an interesting, well-made video. Thanks Jessie for your continued courage in addressing topics that many people can find more sensitive. I live in a small, isolated town in Northern Ontario with fewer than 2000 people and appreciate RUclipsrs, like yourself, who share information about people and groups of people that I'd not otherwise have any insight into since our community is not very diverse.
Thank you so much Jessie! I care so much about acknowledging people as they see themselves and I'm afraid of making a mistake and hurting them when I don't mean to. I'm so appreciative anytime I can learn how non-cys people feel, think and react to those of us who are learning how to recognize and respect them. I felt you were so straightforward and kind here. Thank you. 🥰
I've been trying my best to educate myself as much as possible about the topics you address so well in so many of your videos. This one has really gone the extra mile in solidifying things. Thank you for putting out such fantastic material and broadening my understanding. Cheers!
I discovered you through your recent (and amazing) videos on she-who-shall-not-be-named and now I'm so excited to go through your Star Trek back list! I recently finished TNG series and am hoping to get started on Voyager (and Picard) soon :D Thank you for all the work you do!
I realize this is a sensitive subject. I myself, am a gay male, thus I understand some of these difficulties. However, transgender topics are still new, and can be uncomfortable and new to most people. I think we all need a little understanding, as our entire society has created a binary world. I mention this because some people get upset because not everyone understands these pronoun and gender and sexual issues. We all need to be more understanding and for those of us falling outside of binary constructs, we need to understand that, while people may mislabel someone, it’s not necessarily out of disrespect or callous. Thank you for this video.
Your comment about 'If you call someone It often enough, the phrase becomes real.' reminded me of the book Phule's Company by Robert Asprin. In it, they bring up the same concept and I found it inspiring. Also, I have to say I love your videos and your point of view. You also look amazing in your Trek costumes. :D
It'd be interesting to know how languages that don't have gendered pronouns or only use 'it' on people affect their users mindsets. At least telling some of these stories, using these subtle hints of dehumanization, would be difficult.. Or at least different?
Thank you for the well-done video. I facilitate a gender variant support group in Victoria, BC, Canada and in 2 meets from now, we are going to talk about gender in sci. fi and fantasy. Hope it is ok, I was thinking of using this video as a starting point for our conversation at the meetup.
I was talking with my sons about gender and pronouns, one of them said "well, whatever they look like or choose to be, we can call them all a person". He's only 9.
This is a truth of language it is a weapon strongest kind also. I Have defended many people who do not sit within binary cultural placements, with many pronouns and appearances outside of others comfort zone. I Find this diversity beautiful and needs flourishing its a sign of society degradation when it is stagnant. Change growth and fluidity of cultures is a good thing i have and do Love many trans people I fight for them all the time eithrr agaisnt dehumanization or misgendering. As I have told countless people who are ignorant but not malicious. Using someone's pronouns causes you NO HARM. But mis-using them may severely damage another. I always tend to vote for kindness. Helping a friend who is Mormon and her child came out as Trans and begin the path to loving who they are. I told my friend. "No matter what you may be feeling with on how YOU feel, in public you support your son 100% in private you can hit s pillow curse at god and cry but your son will need your public support a thousand percent and thankfully she got it and would rather have w Healthy Son versus a dead daughter. SO she is even helping him pay for hormones and suergieries her son wants. It hurts nobody to be kind even if you disagree. Public kindness is the best medicine to end dehuminazation
Whenever the subject of pronouns come up (which is still something that I try to figure out for myself in the German language as a gender-fluid Person, in English, I feel "they" is right), I tend to eny those languages that don't distinguish gender in ANY of their pronouns such as Finnish. At least English now has the solution of using they gender-neutrally. German still has to find a fitting equivalent.
I have loved star trek since i started watching TOS in reruns in the late 70s, but man trek in general often treats sexuality and gender pretty poorly. :( Man, I love Tig and her character on Disco! I have had long hair (and piercings) since about 1990, when it wasn't that common for guys to have them, and I sometimes got called 'ma'am' or a woman (almost always by innocent error), but i mainly found it amusing - especially seeing a 'manly man' have to re-process how to interact with me when he realized i am a guy. However if i wasn't as ok as i am with being identified as male, I'd want my pronouns to be 'it', as in most of my life I have though of myself as...well, hard to explain in a RUclips comment - and i was surprised at the fact that saying that recently for the first time to someone made me feel kinda good. I like that you mentioned the 'old man' thing. My name is 'James' but i prefer to be called 'Jim' in most settings. However I have had a HS teach and later a college prof, both of whom i respected greatly and called me 'Jimmy' in a mentor kind of way and i always thought of that 'old man' as a similar term of connection and respect.
Interesting video. I tend to avoid the issue by just flat out asking the person if I don't already know. A lot of unintentional misgendering I see in general conversation (Being English) comes from the perception that asking woudl be impolite. People in general need to be less squeamish about just asking. "Oh hey, what woudl you like me to call you" I have a non binary acquaintance and the first thing I did was ask. At the time they were using Her/She/It, now they are further along their journey they use They, Them, Their, and my favorite "Dude" I try to ask every now and then what they currently want to be called.
Another wonderful video, Jessie 🤗 It can be so frustrating when people treat each other as lesser. We still have a long way to go as a beautifully confusing species. Live long and prosper. 🖖
@@CristalianaIvor school is cruel and gender and sexual identity insults are particularly bad when you are discovering these thing about yourself. and you don't even have to fit a stero type, you just have to have the wrong name. there is nothing particularly feminine about me, i am a (mostly) straight cishet white guy, and the mostlly did not get added until my 20's. yet from 6th to 12th, most knew me as "gay jae". this could have turned me into a raging homophobe if it was not for one of my mom's best friends who is a FABULOUS (his words) GAY MAN, who has been apart of my life since before i was born.
You asked what what gender we ascribe to you right? Well I vote no gender because you're obviously a robot. No human could produce the amount of quality content that you have been. Humans need sleep and food and you don't have time for that! No but seriously, this is a very important topic. I think think people are scared of offending someone by asking someone about their pronouns because that infers the person isn't the "passing" and that's not something anyone wants. I tend to use "they and them" as much as possible. I'm so glad I found your channel because you do such a great job educating us "outsiders" without putting us down. So many members of the LGBTQ+ community get hostile when addressing issues like this. You acknowledge that people are human and make mistakes without being preachy or judgmental about it. By giving people a peek behind the curtain without being condescending your message is so much more impactful than attacking people for their mistakes. Thank you.
I often refer to compassion as something that defines what it is to be humane and have humanity, a sentiment inspired by TNG (even though humans are clearly not the only animals capable of compassion). And I try to do that without dehumanising those who hold the ideas fundamentally devoid of compassion that I'm referring to. I recently came up with the idea of explicitly referring to these people as human beings to avoid any misunderstanding. I was wondering what you thought about this, Jessie?
This is a great video, the most clear and eloquent expression of why using correct pronouns - the ones the individual prefers - is about the most basic kind of respect. Not using the correct pronoun is openly and belligerently disrespectful at a profound level. I am also glad you made clear just how high the stakes are.
I was told years ago that asking about gender was rude. Mind you it was 25 years ago but it did confuse me. It did not stop me from asking though because I basically thought it was impolite not to inquire about gender. Most people I met were actually pleased I was interested enough to want to know.I discovered it was not black and white topic.
Perhaps I could call you Jessie-san. In Japanese, the san honorific is used for male and female. While Kare and Kanojo do relate to him and her, pronouns are not used the same way as we do English. Truthfully though I was taught to respect others. It just is not a big thing to respect someone's identity,
One thing I liked about this video is how you talked about pronouns using Star Trek, and my favorite example is actually Dax and Sisko. I had problems with the development of both characters. Dax was a flat and frankly a bit passive in the first couple of seasons, while, I assume, Terry Farrell was still finding her voice as Dax. Sisko on the other hand had some very interesting aspects to him. In many ways he was the most complex character in Star Trek ever. But sometimes it felt jumbled together, and I always felt Avery Brooks wasn't quite a talented enough actor to hold it all together coherently and convincingly. But two of his relationships - the one with Jake and the one with Dax - felt extremely genuine (with Dax, not at first but eventually) and human. And Sisko's use of the term Old Man for Dax is a great example of it.
Great video essay. If Star Trek is about anything (besides "space socialism") it is about humanity at its best. And "humanity at its best" requires empathy. If you cannot see yourself in the other, you bettter stop and think. I really appreciated your illustrations and supporting examples. The world needs more people like you, Jessie.
I'm not even sure why people need to know what gender someone is anyway? I got into the habit of saying 'they' ages ago when I disliked how people call animals 'it' when they aren't inanimate objects, so I started doing it with people too. Just treat people kindly, doesn't matter what gender they are.
Alien Nation had a similar premise as Cogenitor. Albert Einstein was a sterile male (Binnaum) third gender needed for Tencton procreation and, while considered a respected and necessary member of his race, was forbidden from taking a Tenctonese life mate. The Tenctonese were very liberal on interspecies mating and marriage, but their Matriarical faith and traditions viewed the Binnaum as "less than" who should consign themselves solely to assisting with procreation as they couldn't reproduce themselves He eventually married May O'Naise and asked George Francisco to act as a surrogate father
I remember a line from the tv series about how some members of the species don't consider themselves real men until they have carried and given birth to a child. I know it's a bit off topic, but also an interesting reminder that our perception of gender roles may not be universal.
A. You look great in that uniform. B. I actually learned the ze/zir pronouns from a Star Trek novel. I would like to see them become a standard neutral for English. If there's an acceptable neutral, then it could be formal until someone is comfortable with sharing zir status.
This is perhaps one of the best ways to explain gender and its special significance to non gender conforming individuals, thank you very much! 100% agree and support everything you said and very appreciative that you made this video!
Hi, Jessie! Very good points, appreciated them. I will say that when I first ran across your channel, it took me about two minutes get over noticing any dissonance between your chosen gender and some of your minor physical attributes that matter not, accepted you as a woman, and listened to the content. But not everyone can do that, I know. Heck, I'm a straight white American male, and thus never ran across much prejudice (which is created by, and extended through, epithets and hate speech, i.e., language). Until now, when, at age 64 and retired, I find that people, desperate for some group it's OK to hate, have decided I am a Boomer (in every negative sense you can imagine) and that it's OK to taunt me on the street, with my walker, with "OK, Boomer, move it!" as they cut me off. Like that was any different from, or more acceptable than, "Get out of the way, stupid N-word!" So, Boomer is now being made into hate speech, targeting a group of people who are being discriminated against and dismissed at this purely social level on the basis of their age. It's hard to suddenly be in the oppressed-minority-group-of-the-week, and while it's not too bad now, I can imagine it getting severely bad with little notice or warning. So, commentaries like yours are great, they let people understand that you use definitions, like synth or gay or boomer, not to identify an individual and anything about them, but solely to place themselves in a class above, where they can feel superior to another group.
Hi, Jessie! I'm a non-binary trans woman who has come out pretty recently, so a lot of this is sadly becoming a routine experience. I especially appreciate you highlighting how the best way to acknowledge and respect someone can vary quite a bit. One situation that comes to mind, is that I know of several people who do use it, for their personal pronouns. Their unique needs, much like the situation with Jatzia, can run counter to our intuition. Thanks so much, for making this video! :)
okay, you may be able to answer a question for me about the use of the pronoun "it". i have no trans friends (or many friends period) and so i am left to this. i personally find the use of "it" as a pronoun to be insulting and demeaning. i will use any pronoun someone wishes, including "it" but should i explain my discomfort, or would it be better to just let it be?
@@pathevermore3683, thank you for asking. I'm glad that you're making an effort to learn. :) Generally speaking, trans people are already very aware of the discomfort cis gender people feel about our identities. If you meet someone who uses pronouns other than he or she, they know it will be unfamiliar to most people. But we really can't do anything to make you feel better, since we simply use the pronouns that we need. The best thing you can do is practice and try to get used to it. And remember, by using your future friend's correct pronouns, you are doing the opposite of insulting them. You are validating them and demonstrating acceptance. I hope this helps!
@@pathevermore3683, sorry. I intended to be more clear. I'd recommend just letting it be. If you're uncomfortable with someone's pronouns, telling them so will probably just make them uncomfortable too. So it's not really helpful.
Sex: anatomy. Gender: Role and Self Expression such as feminine, masculine, androgynous, etc. Sexualtiy: How and with whom you partake sexual pleasure and corresponding worldview lens. Reproduction: Sexual, cloning, and "test tube" (for lack of better term due to my ignorance, likely). Western Society is binary, conflating each sex to each gender exclusively. In some NA cultures: you, of course, had three sexes such as male, female, intersex with multiple variations of expressions based on those sexes. At least, that is my take from a lifetime of sociology, psychology, and cultural anthropology.
Fascinating subject, specially from a Spanish-speaking point of view. In Spanish everything is gendered, people, animals, things. Some words change meaning when the gender is changed: tetera, a teapot; tetero, a baby bottle. There are neutral words and pronouns, but are scarcely used. There is now a trend in modifying some letters in words to made them gender neutral as a way of inclusion, like using "todes" to sum up "todos" (all people/male) and "todas" (all people/female), which breaks havoc in Spanish grammar; you should do that to every substantive, adverb, adjective, pronoun... and utter confusion follows. Spanish is curiously inclusive. When you say "ciudadanos" (citizens/male) it's implied you are talking to every citizen of every sex/gender. If you say "ciudadanas" (citizens/female), you are addressing females exclusively. All laws are redacted using male vocabulary, all women are subject to the same laws. Using the neutral pronouns like "eso" (it) would be unthinkable. They are used to mean inanimate things only; it's even wrong and offensive to use them with animals.
It's also interesting that Riker in Outcast didn't thought of pretty obvious solution: actually learning alien pronoun that would be used in their culture, and use this one. He's hellbent on imposing his views of gender instead of acknowleging that, maybe, it's not the only way. (also, I'm sorry, I just discovered this channel today and that's amazing, so I left a number of pretty random comments)
Jessie I have seen this play out many times in Social settings and work settings. I work with someone who is a trans man people like me have mistakenly misgender him but corrected corrected ourselves once we realized. Then there are those people who purposely say she's a girl and I'm not going to call Her he I don't care whether she likes it or not. Which I feel personally is disrespectful. Sad thing you can have friends or acquaintances who you think are the nicest sweetest people but when it comes down to a topic like this sometimes you see a very ugly side of that person. I have a guy who used to play in a band with and we reconnected on Facebook a few years ago. he's very transphobic I also have a member of my family who is extremely transphobic. So much that I've actually turned off seeing any posts by them. Both of these people are in biracial marriages it floors me that two people who have come through so much in their respective marriages and people not accepting people of different races being together that they are so quick to demonize people who identify as a different gender than they were born. I see this play out of one of my dear friends whose niece identifies as bisexual his mother her grandmother will say she doesn't know what she is she's just confused. That's not healthy. To me you have to want to be open minded. I'm a 51 year old cisgender man of color. Me being open-minded about people their sexualities their genders didn't come overnight either there was a point in time in my life where these things were strange or off-putting to me also. But you have to learn and grow. I don't treat people as equals because it's politically correct I treat them as equals cuz I want people to treat me the same way.
What’s your take on if someone has a credit on someone (film, theatre, TV etc...) from before they transitioned and the official credit on that production is obviously in their dead name? How, once that person has transitioned should someone refer to them in that production. Because If someone wants to find information about that persons involvement in that production then searching on the internet for their dead name is going to be more useful in bringing up results so if someone asks you who directed it, what would you say is the best thing to say?
" ... or learn if someone is a Trekkie just by looking at them." Take care to not accidentally mis-scifi-franchise them! Better not assume - ask! Someone liking primary colours doesn't automatically mean they're not a Star Wars fan!
This is the first vid I've seen on this channel. RUclips recommended it to me while I was watching some other stuff. I have very little experience with trans people but it seems my default is to call them by the gender they're presenting as. I'd call Jessie she/her, for example. I never really put any thought into why until this vid though.
This is exactly why I sincerely hope that Discovery or Picard adds a trans and/or enby character. Star Trek has always muddled up when it comes to this issue, despite it's few attempts to address it. It would be very nice to see it done right.
I remember being praised for using the right pronouns in a short story I wrote with a trans protagonist and then think: "but this is the basic, like, the very minimun I could do" and I didn't even knew that much about trans identity back then as I do know but I knew this already. it's just about being respectful and thoughtful. But maybe I'm just open to it bc I had contact with androginous and trans characters through anime since I was a kid? (fun [or actually sad[ fact: I used to draw said characters and new ones I come up with and people always asked me their gender and I always thought "I don't know! I didn't think about it that much, I just drew" ksksks like, it's a f*cking drawing but people have to place it in the binary just bc) but most people have spent years and years without ever questioning any of that? I don't know, of course, I still have a lot to learn.
at 2:48 about Troi ignoring gender fluidity: isn't being gender fluid permanent? What I mean is, gender fluid people may present as male or female but will not claim one of the binary's, which sounds permanent to me. If any Gender Fluid people read this please let me know.
genderfluid here. It does depend. When I came out, I made up a diary for two months to helps me figure out some clearer lines in which I noted down which gender I felt like at that day. But I personally do usually identify either as genderfluid and/or nonbinary. I have a dear friend who technically would be genderfluid from what he himself told me about his perception. But since he feels male about 8/10 of the time he felt most comfortable as male and decided to fully transition and take on a male identety. I personally will sometimes dress more female sometimes, mostly more male though. it changes. Hope that helps some ;)
I dunno, 'Gender fluid' seems like it's actually a new phrase, that came about shortly after this time when one 'study' called a lot of womens' sexual orientations 'fluid' ....while actually just describing bi women and kind of inventing a new phenomenon to try and explain why bi people ...self-report orientations differently depending on the circumstance quite often. Likewise, I'm not sure 'gender fluid' really has a coherent definition these days. People varying their *presentation* sometimes is one thing, but it used to be you could just be kind of androgynous and not seem to be in a constant identity crisis about it. :) (I mean, I'm not exactly a poster child for the gender binary myself, but getting a little more dolled-up for increasingly-rare more-formal occasions doesn't mean my *identity* changed. I dunno if it really does for someone else or what. I mean, I remember a lot of the 'genderqueer' kids kind of trying to 'encourage' me to 'be myself' ...with their idea of flamboyant, garishly-colored gender-clashing, ...but ...nah, that's not 'myself.' I said so at the time, when I'd generally be trying to just make a pretty androgynous style look put-together and snappy. I said, 'Err, nah, this is me. If I had some kind of costume budget, it'd be more or less the same things, only tailored.' :) So I kind of wonder, is 'fluidity' really describing a gender identity, or is it just... not fitting well in either of the 'boxes?' And what's wrong with *that?* I mean, most of the things I do and my interests tend to be considered 'mostly for guys' but it doesn't mean my identity *flowed* anywhere. I've just noticed that in so many of the little things, as much as some forces decry some 'degradation of gender boundaries,' it seems that for decades now, all the little things are kind of trying to force people into those boxes just on the practicalities. I mean, try finding womens' clothes you can move and work in without them looking pretty butch anyway. (Where did jeans with a nice cut and real pockets go, anyway?) Even those toy sections a lot of Millenials and later probably grew up in, ...it was like absolutely all the 'things for girls' were garish Barbie pink or maybe lavender, and it's almost like no wonder lots of real people those ages felt like *total misfits in their early lives and later.* I sometimes think maybe, despite what some have complained, if a lot of the problem is that various social...and marketing forces, in reaction to more liberated times, actually managed to make material culture and the like ...actually so tightly-binary that the 'boxes' just actually stopped including more actual people and their tastes and aptitudes and identities and desires and, well, lives. If anyone's still with me on that, I wonder if adding this idea of 'fluid' to people that have been around all along isn't just bringing it all back to the idea that 'People who don't fit in keep changing back and forth between absolutes, so we should change them to fit just one box.' Not that that ever works, but it's from a perspective of someone that came of age during New Wave times, when a gal might decide to dress like KD Lang or like Cyndi Lauper or whatever, and everyone kinda sank or swam when it came to carrying off their style, and it didn't have to be about 'pick a box or else claim your identity changes back and forth between those boxes.' I just think, the more they try to re-impose those boxes on people, the fewer actual people those boxes really hold.
For me Sisko calling Dax "Old man" as never bother me because I saw it as a nickname he caried from Curzon to Jadzia as a continuation of their friendship...plus he pretty much always says it in a kind loving way. Data thinking Lal need a gender to be adequate could be an honest mistake. I mean the Vissian have 3 genders, the Tholian are male/female intersex, the Andorian have 4 genders most species have 2 and they have'nt met the genderless J'naii yet so in Data's databank pretty much everything that is sentient come with 2 or more genders; if The Offspring would have took place after The outcast it would have been more questionnable. As my usage of pronouns I usually use the one that fit with my perception and correct myself if ask too. I will use neutral mostly when I can tell a person gender or sometime in LGBTQ setting when it's normalized to use neutral or ask someone about their pronouns. In a more straight setting I tend to refrain cuz using neutral and ask for pronouns is associated with the LGBTQ communities and sometime I kinda like my cis/straight passing and don't want to blow it out on something I'm getting right by observation 90% of the time. That being said I do know how to use neutral pronouns and I'm practicing them when I'm talking about my pet spider cuz I honestly don't know their gender (the lady that sell them to me did'nt either). I even use the brand new "iel" officially added to the french language pronouns. Unfortunotly I don't know the neutral (or if there is neutral) in the other language I speak (spanish and norwegian) and pretty much everything is somehow neutral-ish in japanese. My own pronouns are she/her and...we/us cuz I have semi-strong dissociative traits and sometime "I/me" just don't feel right/precise enough.
My friend Skye is transgender. I love her and see her as a mom figure. She is super cool. Miss Jessie, you look like a girl so you're she/her. You choose to appear as a girl. You seem happy as a girl. 😊 I believe in reincarnation. I was male in my last life. But I'm a girl this time around and have no problems being a girl. I feel like I'm not saying what I mean because it seems disjointed but I know that it makes sense. I hope I didn't offend anyone. LLAP 🥰 Edited because I forgot to say that you look nice btw
And what was the thing with the "attack helicopter"? I don't get it. Is it any kind of a slur meant for trans-people? I don't see the connection at all.
in discussions about trans people back in 2014 edgy teens always pasted a copypasta with "I identify as an apache helicopter" and stuff, and they still do that as grown adults which became even more obnoxious by time
You Jessie Gender- are a brilliant positive person, with dynamic and creative and inspiring beautiful insights and thoughts! Why don’t you do the ZOMBIE episodes of Star Trek? The original series: Spock has a giant brain cell attached to his back and is forced to do its bidding, TNG several characters are attacked by non corporeal beings! Think about it! I sure you will make the right decision! 👽👾
When I transitioned, my best friend at the time started calling me "old man" as kind of a joking nod to Jadzia Dax. As with Sisko and Dax, it was a private thing between us.
Misgendering is condescending, in my opinion, a way of saying "I'm not going to enable you by indulging in your little fantasy--I'm going to call you what *I* think you are." As if I were a child and had to be corrected for my own good.
"As long as you're trying, you're not a bad person. You're just learning" is such a fantastic quote.
Once again, I watch Jessie for Star Trek and social awareness. Now, I get to understand social awareness through Star Trek! Jessie you rock!
The Tagalog language (the main language spoken in the Philippines) uses a single gender neutral word for 'he' and 'she'. The word is 'siya'. That's why Filipinos when speaking in English would sometimes mix up using the pronouns 'he' and 'she'. When my family moved to America and we started speaking English more and more, i had to train myself to use the gender-specific pronouns properly.
If I ever misgender or miscommunicate in anyway that makes my allies feel less than human, pleeeease tell me. I'd rather be embarassed and fix my ignorance than to make someone else feel bad. I'm a creature of habit and I can sometimes lean in habits over careful interaction.
I am so glad I discovered this channel thanks to Picard Day.
#SAME
Same here. Shives sent me.
HE IS BITING THAT FEMALE!
I had forgotten how goddamn funny that line read was XD XD XD
I didn't know that "they" was a neutral pronoun. I just discovered that there is neutral pronouns in my native language (portuguese)!
Fun fact relating to this: The Singular They is actually an OLD pronoun, older than "You". English speakers were using "they/them/theirs" as a pronoun for a single person when the second person pronouns were still "thou" and "thee".
So don't let anybody bullsh#t you into thinking this is some new thing that those youngsters with their tumblrs and their twitters came up with. It's as classic as William F*%king Shakespeare. As you were.
Not native English speaker. We didn't learn they/them/theirs as neutral singular in school... i guess the teacher had a hard time enough to teach us the nonsensical 'you' ('you are' and 'you are' were the most confusing things to learn back then... btw, one is plural and the other one is singular, if you haven't guessed, lol). English is so simple that past a certain point it becomes confusing. I remember when I first read about they/them on-line I got angry that the US people multi-purposed yet another freaking pronoun instead of inventing a new word for the neutral gender... but nah, they just pulled out one from the middle ages and decided to use it again.
7:58 "If I can look at someone and get their age wrong by looking at them, why can't we acknowledge that we may get someone's gender wrong, even when it's obvious?" Brilliant quote Jessie!
I got the senior discount the other day. I'm rapidly approaching that awkward age, but I haven't yet achieved it.
I have the opposite “problem”, although my family calls it the “genetic gift”: everyone in my mom's family looks young; my grandpa looked 65 when he was 90, my mom looks like she's 45-50 when she's actually 70, & I look like I'm 25-30 when I'm actually 43. I usually say that's why I'm so HORRIBLE at judging age, because I never had accurate examples.
I thought that one interesting aspect of The Cogenitor episode of Star Trek: Enterprise is that the third gender was necessary for reproduction. It is the reverse of the argument used by some people who claim that both homosexuality and transgender identity are abominations due to a perceived lack of reproductive purpose. This episode confronts that argument directly showing that the argument isn't really about reproduction, it is about oppressing a gender minority in an attempt to control them.
We may have a ways to go in our society, but I have seen genuine change for the better. I know people who openly admit that they do not understand transgender identity (for example, a politically conservative, gun-toting ex-military father who has a trans daughter) but respect the human who is transgender and uses that person's preferred pronouns. I see him as an example of hope for the future, that empathy and love for each other will continue the transformation of our society.
That Leonard McCoy quote as a grace-note on your comment! Bless you. SOOO GOOOD!
Thank you so much for commenting on the Jadzia/Old Man thing. I identify so strongly with Jadzia (I kind of named myself after her) but that was something I had a hard time reconciling for myself. Your take on it is brilliant. :)
And overall, great video.
Dax and Sisko's friendship was so fricken wholesome.
To me, as English is not my mother tounge, this is very fascinating to listen to.
In German the plural pronoun (they/them) is the same as female. (And the formal adressing of strangers/ a sign of respect; Sie)
And funfact: German has several nouns for females that are corresponding to the genderless/non-living-thing related it (e.g.: the girl = das Mädchen - diminuitive form of die Magd; the woman (old timey, nowadays dismissive) = das Weib)
And for Dutch, the plural and the female are the same pronoun as well (ze), and the formal is a different one (u). When I say "ze", the verb tells the difference. As English ain't my mother tongue. My mother tongues are Dutch and Limburgish. I speak German as well. And they all do the plural/female the same thing. And that makes me wonder how I should translate.
Jessie, I adore all you do. I stumbled on your page when looking for info on upcoming Star Trek shows. Discovery and continued on with Picard. Your love of the subject is delightful and I enjoy your insights. Am grateful that along they way you have educated me and answered questions that I've always been reluctant to ask. As I feared being disrespectful or prying into private matters. As for myself, I consider myself an ally. I believe that any misunderstanding or confusions can be bridged with compassionate listening, kindness, respect and acceptance of human expressing itself and their individuality. Not to mention out love, admiration of Star Trek that brings us all together. Thank you.
It's the thought that counts. One person gets it wrong but when corrected stands corrected, another intentionally gets it wrong just to upset.
This really moved and informed me to see just how harmful it is to use the wrong word. I would like to post this on my Twitter feed with your permission. Most are not Star Trek fans but this is so informative. I think everyone needs to hear this. I won't post until I have your permission.
Please please do
Since I first found your channel, there is something I have wanted to share with you, but I've been reluctant to do so. I was so excited to see a female Trekkie with an intellectually stimulating and fun channel. I felt a kinship there. I see you as a woman, like me. Just because your life's journey started out differently than my own doesn't change that. However, I've been afraid to say so for fear that I will say the wrong thing. and be accidentally offensive. I appreciate you explaining gender issues with Trek., too. It makes it easier to understand. Thanks for doing what you do.
Now this isn't really a debate I have a place in since I'm a bisexual cis male, but I also wish to show my support
Also I'm really tired, it's past 1 am, so I'm unable to be insightful right now
Species 8472 has 7 sexes. Chew on that, conservatives
I can relate to the pronoun anxiety you brought up. One of my best friends started transitioning after we graduated from college, and sometimes I would still say 'she' instead of 'they'. Each time I kind of flinched, and I still sometimes feel like I should get it right all the time now.
One thing about pronouns is that sometimes, especially around people who don't 'look conventionally binary or cis', I try not to ask because I feel like they must get this all the time. I feel like asking their pronouns comes off as....I don't know, condescending? I want to get better at this, but I just really don't want somebody to feel like I'm addressing them in the way similar to those comments you started the video with. I know that I don't mean it in a dehumanizing way, but my fear is that it may not come off that way.
Interesting to note, this is much easier in some languages and much more difficult in others. Languages like Turkish and Finnish lack grammatical gender, even with pronouns! In Turkish, he/she/they is just 'o', which is the same word for 'that. However, I speak Hebrew, and like Arabic, it poses a LOT of issues with gender neutral language. At the present, it is actually kind of impossible. For example, verbs change based on gender and number. In the present tense, there are four options:
to write - lichtov
kotev - a male writes
kotevet- a female writes
kotvim - many males or a mixed group writes
kotvot - many females write
Essentially, the language as is spoken today simply doesn't allow for gender neutrality The case is similar with Arabic. That said, a lot of queer Jews are working hard at adjusting the language to include non-binary people.
Thank you for this. It's wonderful. I was misgendered several times today and just hearing from somebody who understands this, even parasocially, made me feel a lot better.
This was great, I love that your channel deals with Star Trek but also real-world stuff. Keep up the good work!
This is really good. The Trek examples really make it clear. I think this is one of your best videos.
Thanks ❤️❤️❤️
I had forgotten about Data saying, "You must choose a gender."
As a kid with Enby leanings that really set me back
Jessie, that was such an awesome video. I always admire how open you are about many parts of being trans and how open and neutral you can talk about the pronoun issue, the not-sticking-into-categories-thing and the many other parts which can be so very painful many of us.
Wow. The use of the Lal episode show how something “woke” and groundbreaking decades ago can be cringeworthy today.
I’ve always thought of Odo and the founders as the quintessential examples of transgenderism in Trek. Odo appears as a male in form most of the time because he was emulating dr. Mora who is male, the same could be said to be true for the “female changling” or any of the others in the great link.
They are literally gender fluid
In the mosaic that is my life, I have a partner with their own little pieces making up a whole. I'm rarely misgendered in person but it happens a LOT if they see my name by itself. My partner on the other hand, is often misgendered in public. Never as a slight, always as a person not paying that careful an attention. We're both a mosaic of gender and I admit that I think we both prefer the safety of letting "the outside" think whatever makes them not hurt us. I think as Jadzia has a variety of experiences, the mosaic comes out in her. I don't recall discussions of trill gender outside that of the humanoids they share their lives with. Same for the Gaould (sp) Thank you for your hard work on this.
What an interesting, well-made video. Thanks Jessie for your continued courage in addressing topics that many people can find more sensitive. I live in a small, isolated town in Northern Ontario with fewer than 2000 people and appreciate RUclipsrs, like yourself, who share information about people and groups of people that I'd not otherwise have any insight into since our community is not very diverse.
You are so thoughtful, well spoken, and informative. Thank you.
Great video as usual. I keep forgetting to comment because I don't really have anything to add but here's some engagement for ya! 🖖🏽
Thank you so much Jessie! I care so much about acknowledging people as they see themselves and I'm afraid of making a mistake and hurting them when I don't mean to. I'm so appreciative anytime I can learn how non-cys people feel, think and react to those of us who are learning how to recognize and respect them. I felt you were so straightforward and kind here. Thank you. 🥰
I've been trying my best to educate myself as much as possible about the topics you address so well in so many of your videos. This one has really gone the extra mile in solidifying things. Thank you for putting out such fantastic material and broadening my understanding. Cheers!
❤️❤️❤️😊
Thank you Jessie. Almost every video of yours I learn something new, and often it's a way to be a better person.
I discovered you through your recent (and amazing) videos on she-who-shall-not-be-named and now I'm so excited to go through your Star Trek back list! I recently finished TNG series and am hoping to get started on Voyager (and Picard) soon :D
Thank you for all the work you do!
It's also worth noting that some people go by it/its, so while it's primarily used as a way to dehumanize, context and consent can change that, too.
That pause before Picard turns to look at Hugh...
It is not only the polite way to refer to someone by the gender that they identify with, it's the only way to do it.
Lal referring to 'gender neuter' as 'inadequate' annoyed me and broke my heart at the same time.
I realize this is a sensitive subject. I myself, am a gay male, thus I understand some of these difficulties. However, transgender topics are still new, and can be uncomfortable and new to most people. I think we all need a little understanding, as our entire society has created a binary world. I mention this because some people get upset because not everyone understands these pronoun and gender and sexual issues. We all need to be more understanding and for those of us falling outside of binary constructs, we need to understand that, while people may mislabel someone, it’s not necessarily out of disrespect or callous. Thank you for this video.
Your comment about 'If you call someone It often enough, the phrase becomes real.' reminded me of the book Phule's Company by Robert Asprin. In it, they bring up the same concept and I found it inspiring.
Also, I have to say I love your videos and your point of view.
You also look amazing in your Trek costumes. :D
It'd be interesting to know how languages that don't have gendered pronouns or only use 'it' on people affect their users mindsets. At least telling some of these stories, using these subtle hints of dehumanization, would be difficult.. Or at least different?
Thank you for the well-done video. I facilitate a gender variant support group in Victoria, BC, Canada and in 2 meets from now, we are going to talk about gender in sci. fi and fantasy. Hope it is ok, I was thinking of using this video as a starting point for our conversation at the meetup.
I was talking with my sons about gender and pronouns, one of them said "well, whatever they look like or choose to be, we can call them all a person". He's only 9.
Sounds like you have a great kid.
2:38 When Lal is in the holodeck "trying on" different looks, the guy in red looks like young Paul Rudd. Just me?
You are a delightful and insightful woman. I am glad I found your channel.
This is a truth of language it is a weapon strongest kind also. I Have defended many people who do not sit within binary cultural placements, with many pronouns and appearances outside of others comfort zone. I Find this diversity beautiful and needs flourishing its a sign of society degradation when it is stagnant. Change growth and fluidity of cultures is a good thing i have and do Love many trans people I fight for them all the time eithrr agaisnt dehumanization or misgendering. As I have told countless people who are ignorant but not malicious. Using someone's pronouns causes you NO HARM. But mis-using them may severely damage another. I always tend to vote for kindness. Helping a friend who is Mormon and her child came out as Trans and begin the path to loving who they are. I told my friend. "No matter what you may be feeling with on how YOU feel, in public you support your son 100% in private you can hit s pillow curse at god and cry but your son will need your public support a thousand percent and thankfully she got it and would rather have w Healthy Son versus a dead daughter. SO she is even helping him pay for hormones and suergieries her son wants. It hurts nobody to be kind even if you disagree. Public kindness is the best medicine to end dehuminazation
Whenever the subject of pronouns come up (which is still something that I try to figure out for myself in the German language as a gender-fluid Person, in English, I feel "they" is right), I tend to eny those languages that don't distinguish gender in ANY of their pronouns such as Finnish. At least English now has the solution of using they gender-neutrally. German still has to find a fitting equivalent.
I have loved star trek since i started watching TOS in reruns in the late 70s, but man trek in general often treats sexuality and gender pretty poorly. :(
Man, I love Tig and her character on Disco! I have had long hair (and piercings) since about 1990, when it wasn't that common for guys to have them, and I sometimes got called 'ma'am' or a woman (almost always by innocent error), but i mainly found it amusing - especially seeing a 'manly man' have to re-process how to interact with me when he realized i am a guy.
However if i wasn't as ok as i am with being identified as male, I'd want my pronouns to be 'it', as in most of my life I have though of myself as...well, hard to explain in a RUclips comment - and i was surprised at the fact that saying that recently for the first time to someone made me feel kinda good.
I like that you mentioned the 'old man' thing. My name is 'James' but i prefer to be called 'Jim' in most settings. However I have had a HS teach and later a college prof, both of whom i respected greatly and called me 'Jimmy' in a mentor kind of way and i always thought of that 'old man' as a similar term of connection and respect.
Interesting video. I tend to avoid the issue by just flat out asking the person if I don't already know. A lot of unintentional misgendering I see in general conversation (Being English) comes from the perception that asking woudl be impolite. People in general need to be less squeamish about just asking. "Oh hey, what woudl you like me to call you"
I have a non binary acquaintance and the first thing I did was ask. At the time they were using Her/She/It, now they are further along their journey they use They, Them, Their, and my favorite "Dude" I try to ask every now and then what they currently want to be called.
Very thoughtful discussion as usual. Thank you.
I
Another wonderful video, Jessie 🤗
It can be so frustrating when people treat each other as lesser. We still have a long way to go as a beautifully confusing species.
Live long and prosper. 🖖
they did that to me in school by calling me "it". It's not okay to hit girls, but since I'm not a girl, I'm just an "it" it's okay...
❤️❤️❤️ I’m so sorry that happened to you. Sending love
@@JessieGender1 thanks, it's over now, so I'm alright, but I thought it would match the topic. Btw my nickname there was "Aids".
@@CristalianaIvor school is cruel and gender and sexual identity insults are particularly bad when you are discovering these thing about yourself. and you don't even have to fit a stero type, you just have to have the wrong name. there is nothing particularly feminine about me, i am a (mostly) straight cishet white guy, and the mostlly did not get added until my 20's. yet from 6th to 12th, most knew me as "gay jae". this could have turned me into a raging homophobe if it was not for one of my mom's best friends who is a FABULOUS (his words) GAY MAN, who has been apart of my life since before i was born.
That ds9 edit is too cute jessie gender. ☺️
You asked what what gender we ascribe to you right? Well I vote no gender because you're obviously a robot. No human could produce the amount of quality content that you have been. Humans need sleep and food and you don't have time for that!
No but seriously, this is a very important topic. I think think people are scared of offending someone by asking someone about their pronouns because that infers the person isn't the "passing" and that's not something anyone wants. I tend to use "they and them" as much as possible. I'm so glad I found your channel because you do such a great job educating us "outsiders" without putting us down. So many members of the LGBTQ+ community get hostile when addressing issues like this. You acknowledge that people are human and make mistakes without being preachy or judgmental about it. By giving people a peek behind the curtain without being condescending your message is so much more impactful than attacking people for their mistakes. Thank you.
Great video!! I love your channel. I've learned a lot through your videos, specially because you use fanthoms i enjoy to illustrate your points.
I often refer to compassion as something that defines what it is to be humane and have humanity, a sentiment inspired by TNG (even though humans are clearly not the only animals capable of compassion). And I try to do that without dehumanising those who hold the ideas fundamentally devoid of compassion that I'm referring to. I recently came up with the idea of explicitly referring to these people as human beings to avoid any misunderstanding. I was wondering what you thought about this, Jessie?
Regarding comments... OMG WTF - FFS. People are crap, I can't imagine dealing with comments like that. As always, love your stuff.
Great use of the Reagan-Nixon recording.
This is a great video, the most clear and eloquent expression of why using correct pronouns - the ones the individual prefers - is about the most basic kind of respect. Not using the correct pronoun is openly and belligerently disrespectful at a profound level. I am also glad you made clear just how high the stakes are.
I was told years ago that asking about gender was rude. Mind you it was 25 years ago but it did confuse me. It did not stop me from asking though because I basically thought it was impolite not to inquire about gender. Most people I met were actually pleased I was interested enough to want to know.I discovered it was not black and white topic.
Perhaps I could call you Jessie-san. In Japanese, the san honorific is used for male and female. While Kare and Kanojo do relate to him and her, pronouns are not used the same way as we do English. Truthfully though I was taught to respect others. It just is not a big thing to respect someone's identity,
One thing I liked about this video is how you talked about pronouns using Star Trek, and my favorite example is actually Dax and Sisko. I had problems with the development of both characters. Dax was a flat and frankly a bit passive in the first couple of seasons, while, I assume, Terry Farrell was still finding her voice as Dax. Sisko on the other hand had some very interesting aspects to him. In many ways he was the most complex character in Star Trek ever. But sometimes it felt jumbled together, and I always felt Avery Brooks wasn't quite a talented enough actor to hold it all together coherently and convincingly. But two of his relationships - the one with Jake and the one with Dax - felt extremely genuine (with Dax, not at first but eventually) and human. And Sisko's use of the term Old Man for Dax is a great example of it.
Jessie, you did such a good job on this video.
"But you are Borg?"
"No. I am you."
Great video essay. If Star Trek is about anything (besides "space socialism") it is about humanity at its best. And "humanity at its best" requires empathy. If you cannot see yourself in the other, you bettter stop and think. I really appreciated your illustrations and supporting examples. The world needs more people like you, Jessie.
I'm not even sure why people need to know what gender someone is anyway? I got into the habit of saying 'they' ages ago when I disliked how people call animals 'it' when they aren't inanimate objects, so I started doing it with people too. Just treat people kindly, doesn't matter what gender they are.
While I am not transgender (I'm cis in presentation and pronoun preferences) I can see that working fine. Maybe that's where we're headed.
even as a trans person, who is non-binary, it took years for me to deconstruct my internal gender binary and truly see people as non-binary
Alien Nation had a similar premise as Cogenitor.
Albert Einstein was a sterile male (Binnaum) third gender needed for Tencton procreation and, while considered a respected and necessary member of his race, was forbidden from taking a Tenctonese life mate. The Tenctonese were very liberal on interspecies mating and marriage, but their Matriarical faith and traditions viewed the Binnaum as "less than" who should consign themselves solely to assisting with procreation as they couldn't reproduce themselves
He eventually married May O'Naise and asked George Francisco to act as a surrogate father
I remember a line from the tv series about how some members of the species don't consider themselves real men until they have carried and given birth to a child. I know it's a bit off topic, but also an interesting reminder that our perception of gender roles may not be universal.
Everything about this was perfect!
A. You look great in that uniform. B. I actually learned the ze/zir pronouns from a Star Trek novel. I would like to see them become a standard neutral for English. If there's an acceptable neutral, then it could be formal until someone is comfortable with sharing zir status.
This is perhaps one of the best ways to explain gender and its special significance to non gender conforming individuals, thank you very much! 100% agree and support everything you said and very appreciative that you made this video!
Hi, Jessie! Very good points, appreciated them. I will say that when I first ran across your channel, it took me about two minutes get over noticing any dissonance between your chosen gender and some of your minor physical attributes that matter not, accepted you as a woman, and listened to the content. But not everyone can do that, I know. Heck, I'm a straight white American male, and thus never ran across much prejudice (which is created by, and extended through, epithets and hate speech, i.e., language). Until now, when, at age 64 and retired, I find that people, desperate for some group it's OK to hate, have decided I am a Boomer (in every negative sense you can imagine) and that it's OK to taunt me on the street, with my walker, with "OK, Boomer, move it!" as they cut me off. Like that was any different from, or more acceptable than, "Get out of the way, stupid N-word!" So, Boomer is now being made into hate speech, targeting a group of people who are being discriminated against and dismissed at this purely social level on the basis of their age. It's hard to suddenly be in the oppressed-minority-group-of-the-week, and while it's not too bad now, I can imagine it getting severely bad with little notice or warning. So, commentaries like yours are great, they let people understand that you use definitions, like synth or gay or boomer, not to identify an individual and anything about them, but solely to place themselves in a class above, where they can feel superior to another group.
Hi, Jessie! I'm a non-binary trans woman who has come out pretty recently, so a lot of this is sadly becoming a routine experience. I especially appreciate you highlighting how the best way to acknowledge and respect someone can vary quite a bit. One situation that comes to mind, is that I know of several people who do use it, for their personal pronouns. Their unique needs, much like the situation with Jatzia, can run counter to our intuition. Thanks so much, for making this video! :)
okay, you may be able to answer a question for me about the use of the pronoun "it". i have no trans friends (or many friends period) and so i am left to this. i personally find the use of "it" as a pronoun to be insulting and demeaning. i will use any pronoun someone wishes, including "it" but should i explain my discomfort, or would it be better to just let it be?
@@pathevermore3683, thank you for asking. I'm glad that you're making an effort to learn. :) Generally speaking, trans people are already very aware of the discomfort cis gender people feel about our identities. If you meet someone who uses pronouns other than he or she, they know it will be unfamiliar to most people. But we really can't do anything to make you feel better, since we simply use the pronouns that we need. The best thing you can do is practice and try to get used to it. And remember, by using your future friend's correct pronouns, you are doing the opposite of insulting them. You are validating them and demonstrating acceptance. I hope this helps!
@@TechpriestMagos that didn't help at all. you did not address my question at all and gave me a standard "how do i use pronouns" answer.
@@pathevermore3683, sorry. I intended to be more clear. I'd recommend just letting it be. If you're uncomfortable with someone's pronouns, telling them so will probably just make them uncomfortable too. So it's not really helpful.
@@TechpriestMagos thank you.
Sex: anatomy. Gender: Role and Self Expression such as feminine, masculine, androgynous, etc. Sexualtiy: How and with whom you partake sexual pleasure and corresponding worldview lens. Reproduction: Sexual, cloning, and "test tube" (for lack of better term due to my ignorance, likely). Western Society is binary, conflating each sex to each gender exclusively. In some NA cultures: you, of course, had three sexes such as male, female, intersex with multiple variations of expressions based on those sexes. At least, that is my take from a lifetime of sociology, psychology, and cultural anthropology.
Fascinating subject, specially from a Spanish-speaking point of view.
In Spanish everything is gendered, people, animals, things. Some words change meaning when the gender is changed: tetera, a teapot; tetero, a baby bottle.
There are neutral words and pronouns, but are scarcely used. There is now a trend in modifying some letters in words to made them gender neutral as a way of inclusion, like using "todes" to sum up "todos" (all people/male) and "todas" (all people/female), which breaks havoc in Spanish grammar; you should do that to every substantive, adverb, adjective, pronoun... and utter confusion follows.
Spanish is curiously inclusive. When you say "ciudadanos" (citizens/male) it's implied you are talking to every citizen of every sex/gender. If you say "ciudadanas" (citizens/female), you are addressing females exclusively. All laws are redacted using male vocabulary, all women are subject to the same laws.
Using the neutral pronouns like "eso" (it) would be unthinkable. They are used to mean inanimate things only; it's even wrong and offensive to use them with animals.
It's also interesting that Riker in Outcast didn't thought of pretty obvious solution: actually learning alien pronoun that would be used in their culture, and use this one. He's hellbent on imposing his views of gender instead of acknowleging that, maybe, it's not the only way.
(also, I'm sorry, I just discovered this channel today and that's amazing, so I left a number of pretty random comments)
Jessie I have seen this play out many times in Social settings and work settings. I work with someone who is a trans man people like me have mistakenly misgender him but corrected corrected ourselves once we realized. Then there are those people who purposely say she's a girl and I'm not going to call Her he I don't care whether she likes it or not. Which I feel personally is disrespectful. Sad thing you can have friends or acquaintances who you think are the nicest sweetest people but when it comes down to a topic like this sometimes you see a very ugly side of that person. I have a guy who used to play in a band with and we reconnected on Facebook a few years ago. he's very transphobic I also have a member of my family who is extremely transphobic. So much that I've actually turned off seeing any posts by them. Both of these people are in biracial marriages it floors me that two people who have come through so much in their respective marriages and people not accepting people of different races being together that they are so quick to demonize people who identify as a different gender than they were born. I see this play out of one of my dear friends whose niece identifies as bisexual his mother her grandmother will say she doesn't know what she is she's just confused. That's not healthy. To me you have to want to be open minded. I'm a 51 year old cisgender man of color. Me being open-minded about people their sexualities their genders didn't come overnight either there was a point in time in my life where these things were strange or off-putting to me also. But you have to learn and grow. I don't treat people as equals because it's politically correct I treat them as equals cuz I want people to treat me the same way.
It's so much easier to dehumanize people when they only socialize over the internet.
What’s your take on if someone has a credit on someone (film, theatre, TV etc...) from before they transitioned and the official credit on that production is obviously in their dead name?
How, once that person has transitioned should someone refer to them in that production. Because If someone wants to find information about that persons involvement in that production then searching on the internet for their dead name is going to be more useful in bringing up results so if someone asks you who directed it, what would you say is the best thing to say?
" ... or learn if someone is a Trekkie just by looking at them." Take care to not accidentally mis-scifi-franchise them! Better not assume - ask! Someone liking primary colours doesn't automatically mean they're not a Star Wars fan!
This is the first vid I've seen on this channel. RUclips recommended it to me while I was watching some other stuff. I have very little experience with trans people but it seems my default is to call them by the gender they're presenting as. I'd call Jessie she/her, for example. I never really put any thought into why until this vid though.
I just wanna know WHERE DID YOU GET THAT SHIRT? It looks comfy and cute :)
I love you Jessie and I love your channel. Thank you!
This is exactly why I sincerely hope that Discovery or Picard adds a trans and/or enby character. Star Trek has always muddled up when it comes to this issue, despite it's few attempts to address it. It would be very nice to see it done right.
@#$% rick berman.
I remember being praised for using the right pronouns in a short story I wrote with a trans protagonist and then think: "but this is the basic, like, the very minimun I could do" and I didn't even knew that much about trans identity back then as I do know but I knew this already. it's just about being respectful and thoughtful. But maybe I'm just open to it bc I had contact with androginous and trans characters through anime since I was a kid? (fun [or actually sad[ fact: I used to draw said characters and new ones I come up with and people always asked me their gender and I always thought "I don't know! I didn't think about it that much, I just drew" ksksks like, it's a f*cking drawing but people have to place it in the binary just bc) but most people have spent years and years without ever questioning any of that? I don't know, of course, I still have a lot to learn.
I Have dyslexia...in English I mispronounc people all the time...
What a great video. Thank you
Awesome!
at 2:48 about Troi ignoring gender fluidity: isn't being gender fluid permanent? What I mean is, gender fluid people may present as male or female but will not claim one of the binary's, which sounds permanent to me. If any Gender Fluid people read this please let me know.
Wellington Smith it depends on how someone identities it. Sometimes is a permanent identity, sometimes it’s an impermanent one.
@@JessieGender1 "and knowing is half the battle"
thank-you Jessie. Keep up the good work, love the video.
genderfluid here. It does depend. When I came out, I made up a diary for two months to helps me figure out some clearer lines in which I noted down which gender I felt like at that day. But I personally do usually identify either as genderfluid and/or nonbinary. I have a dear friend who technically would be genderfluid from what he himself told me about his perception. But since he feels male about 8/10 of the time he felt most comfortable as male and decided to fully transition and take on a male identety. I personally will sometimes dress more female sometimes, mostly more male though. it changes. Hope that helps some ;)
@@pacmanshooter247 it does help, thank-you for taking the time to respond. live long, and prosper 🖖
I dunno, 'Gender fluid' seems like it's actually a new phrase, that came about shortly after this time when one 'study' called a lot of womens' sexual orientations 'fluid' ....while actually just describing bi women and kind of inventing a new phenomenon to try and explain why bi people ...self-report orientations differently depending on the circumstance quite often.
Likewise, I'm not sure 'gender fluid' really has a coherent definition these days. People varying their *presentation* sometimes is one thing, but it used to be you could just be kind of androgynous and not seem to be in a constant identity crisis about it. :) (I mean, I'm not exactly a poster child for the gender binary myself, but getting a little more dolled-up for increasingly-rare more-formal occasions doesn't mean my *identity* changed. I dunno if it really does for someone else or what. I mean, I remember a lot of the 'genderqueer' kids kind of trying to 'encourage' me to 'be myself' ...with their idea of flamboyant, garishly-colored gender-clashing, ...but ...nah, that's not 'myself.' I said so at the time, when I'd generally be trying to just make a pretty androgynous style look put-together and snappy. I said, 'Err, nah, this is me. If I had some kind of costume budget, it'd be more or less the same things, only tailored.' :)
So I kind of wonder, is 'fluidity' really describing a gender identity, or is it just... not fitting well in either of the 'boxes?' And what's wrong with *that?* I mean, most of the things I do and my interests tend to be considered 'mostly for guys' but it doesn't mean my identity *flowed* anywhere. I've just noticed that in so many of the little things, as much as some forces decry some 'degradation of gender boundaries,' it seems that for decades now, all the little things are kind of trying to force people into those boxes just on the practicalities. I mean, try finding womens' clothes you can move and work in without them looking pretty butch anyway. (Where did jeans with a nice cut and real pockets go, anyway?) Even those toy sections a lot of Millenials and later probably grew up in, ...it was like absolutely all the 'things for girls' were garish Barbie pink or maybe lavender, and it's almost like no wonder lots of real people those ages felt like *total misfits in their early lives and later.*
I sometimes think maybe, despite what some have complained, if a lot of the problem is that various social...and marketing forces, in reaction to more liberated times, actually managed to make material culture and the like ...actually so tightly-binary that the 'boxes' just actually stopped including more actual people and their tastes and aptitudes and identities and desires and, well, lives.
If anyone's still with me on that, I wonder if adding this idea of 'fluid' to people that have been around all along isn't just bringing it all back to the idea that 'People who don't fit in keep changing back and forth between absolutes, so we should change them to fit just one box.' Not that that ever works, but it's from a perspective of someone that came of age during New Wave times, when a gal might decide to dress like KD Lang or like Cyndi Lauper or whatever, and everyone kinda sank or swam when it came to carrying off their style, and it didn't have to be about 'pick a box or else claim your identity changes back and forth between those boxes.'
I just think, the more they try to re-impose those boxes on people, the fewer actual people those boxes really hold.
For me Sisko calling Dax "Old man" as never bother me because I saw it as a nickname he caried from Curzon to Jadzia as a continuation of their friendship...plus he pretty much always says it in a kind loving way.
Data thinking Lal need a gender to be adequate could be an honest mistake. I mean the Vissian have 3 genders, the Tholian are male/female intersex, the Andorian have 4 genders most species have 2 and they have'nt met the genderless J'naii yet so in Data's databank pretty much everything that is sentient come with 2 or more genders; if The Offspring would have took place after The outcast it would have been more questionnable.
As my usage of pronouns I usually use the one that fit with my perception and correct myself if ask too. I will use neutral mostly when I can tell a person gender or sometime in LGBTQ setting when it's normalized to use neutral or ask someone about their pronouns. In a more straight setting I tend to refrain cuz using neutral and ask for pronouns is associated with the LGBTQ communities and sometime I kinda like my cis/straight passing and don't want to blow it out on something I'm getting right by observation 90% of the time.
That being said I do know how to use neutral pronouns and I'm practicing them when I'm talking about my pet spider cuz I honestly don't know their gender (the lady that sell them to me did'nt either). I even use the brand new "iel" officially added to the french language pronouns. Unfortunotly I don't know the neutral (or if there is neutral) in the other language I speak (spanish and norwegian) and pretty much everything is somehow neutral-ish in japanese.
My own pronouns are she/her and...we/us cuz I have semi-strong dissociative traits and sometime "I/me" just don't feel right/precise enough.
Fantastic video
Great video! Subbed!
Thank you for sharing this information. I salute you. I myself am a gay man, however I have always felt more female in my brain 💟
you do you and live your "best life"!
How do you feel about dude? I use it casually and think of it as gender neutral but it’s not really, is it?
Me too! I may have to watch it.
yeah lots of trans women are uncomfy with that, even when most cis women don't care
Is someone cutting onions in here?
My friend Skye is transgender. I love her and see her as a mom figure. She is super cool. Miss Jessie, you look like a girl so you're she/her. You choose to appear as a girl. You seem happy as a girl. 😊
I believe in reincarnation. I was male in my last life. But I'm a girl this time around and have no problems being a girl.
I feel like I'm not saying what I mean because it seems disjointed but I know that it makes sense.
I hope I didn't offend anyone. LLAP 🥰
Edited because I forgot to say that you look nice btw
And what was the thing with the "attack helicopter"?
I don't get it.
Is it any kind of a slur meant for trans-people?
I don't see the connection at all.
in discussions about trans people back in 2014 edgy teens always pasted a copypasta with "I identify as an apache helicopter" and stuff, and they still do that as grown adults which became even more obnoxious by time
OK, thanks a lot for the explanations, guys.
You Jessie Gender- are a brilliant positive person, with dynamic and creative and inspiring beautiful insights and thoughts! Why don’t you do the ZOMBIE episodes of Star Trek? The original series: Spock has a giant brain cell attached to his back and is forced to do its bidding, TNG several characters are attacked by non corporeal beings! Think about it! I sure you will make the right decision! 👽👾