I can really relate to this . I’ve battled anorexia mostly and some bulimia since I was 15 . I’ve always been a people pleaser and a perfectionist . I’m confident in myself now yes but even now I’m still a constant work in progress and I’m still working through my insecurities ❤
Hi Julia! Senior Shifter Chris is here! Another great and important topic - especially more so now with social media and the illusion that everyone is or has better than you. Most of the time, people only post the “good” stuff and not the “bad” stuff. My takeaway is that I can spend the energy on creating my own path. In fact, someone (Someone you know Julia) once said to me: “Whenever you focus on what other people have that you don’t, you give away your power. Every minute spent comparing your path to someone else’s is a minute lost on creating your own.” I absolutely loved that. Now that I know I am the captain of my own ship, I want to overcome the thoughts that are keeping me stuck from sailing. (I just made that one up!) When looking back at my creative side, I have seen so much progress in my art skills and my musical skills. I did that. I created that for myself. I can still look to others from inspiration, like artists and musicians, but only for inspiration - don't compare their work to mine. Here are my notes:
Comparing keeps us stuck because we have thoughts like "we are not good enough", "I don't have what it takes" "Everyone else seems to be this way or that way." Makes us feel depleted, defeated and discouraged.
1. Pay attention to what is important to you (Make sure to live in congruence with that instead of looking at what somebody else had and being envious of that.)
Questions to ask yourself: *Is this something I really want? *Do I really want to do the work to get it? *If I do the amount of work, I need to get it, do I want to maintain that to keep that going? *What is important to me? *What do I value?
"You have say over creating the things that are important to you!"
2. How am I taking care of myself? (What feels good to me? What am I doing to nurture and honor my wellbeing?) * Am I staying true to the things that are important to me? * When we create what is important to us, what others do does not even matter.
3. It doesn't matter how interesting, magnetic, beautiful, put together, successful, interesting, intelligent somebody else is, I still have the exact same compacity for joy, for love, for connection and for belonging. (Nothing external can create the internal deep experiences like love, belonging and connection…)
Whatever someone else is doing is great for them, and what I am doing is great for me. To those who struggle with comparison, I hear you - just remember always what a worthy and valued person you are!
I remember when I was infatuated with the influencer lifestyle. Now that I’m working on healing and peace, I can’t imagine ever doing that and I truly don’t know how people manage their mental health with a job like that. Because showing up regardless of how you feel is had.
Could you elaborate on what do you mean by influencer lifestyle.... it's being a famous youtuber not as good? Please tell me coz I struggle with comparison with these famous influencers and their rich lifestyle
This video hit to the core of my issues! I just about started crying! I thought I was the only one! I felt like she was in my head saying all the things I think all day! These are all very Biblically based ways to help.
Kristina, thank you for articulating this training so eloquently yet clear and real. This trait reared its ugly head this week. God led me to this message. You are a God-send. Your work matters! Thank you, thank you, thank you! ❤
Hi julia I'm from India🇮🇳. I often watch your videos. They r really practical and not all words and motivation. You are greatly contributing. Please always keep it up. Bless you. Hope more and more people discover your amazing channel.
Great insights Julia! One that I find helpful as well is thinking of the pros and cons of wanting what I am envious of. For example, if I win a million dollars, I can buy expensive things but I will also deal with relatives begging for my money. Also, sure I may have enough money for a yacht but it has expenses and a lottery is just a one time earning the expenses cannot cover down the road, leading me to become broke.
Thank you so much for making this information freely available for public use. Your videos address certain things I have struggled with and caused me so much pain and heartache. I really hope to keep the advice you’ve given with me for the rest of my life. The work you’re doing is so invaluable. Whether people are seeing them or not. You’ve made a difference for me. Thank you❤
I've been listening to your videos for years and they've made me feel good but I've been practicing being more outspoken but I still feel "unfulfilled" and I really "don't know what's important"
Hi, Julia, thank you for this video. I feel that I have a vacuum of goals for my own life. I'll look at your other videos and see if you've addressed that.
Thank you Julia. This helped me appreciate the way my life is trending. I like your emphasis on being content with joy and love in your relationships no matter where you have them whether on a fancy yacht or a humble home.
I love your videos so much that whenever I want to learn about a particular topic, I first check if you’ve made a video on it before I watch another person’s video
Thank you for this. I've always compared myself to my friends or to anyone I see. Like how are they able to afford those? Like how did they get there? Why am I still here? I've realized I can do stuff with my own pace and there's no one else walking in the same path as I am. I will keep this for reminder as your other videos. I may not be a shifter but I'll always go for your video to remind myself whenever I question myself.
Hey Julia, Big fan of your content. Great video, great message. Thank you! Been watching your content for quite some time now and has definitely helped me along my journey of overcoming a lot of mental struggle I've been dealing with. On top of mindfulness meditations and CBT practices, I feel like I'm a new person with a new outlook on my life overall. Keep up the great videos and content!
I believe when people get into a rut and families get stuck into their perceived habits it's very hard to break free of "abusive mechanics" and such to change. Or I realize maybe I'm the one who is literally being negative because I'm afraid to change in spite of effort. I tend to get discourage when I "don't get or obtain results in romantic relationships" or just relationship in general. Being awkward socially maybe I don't understand. Everything I've been raised to believe is "we are not important people we can contribute but the bigger things are other peoples problems". And when people try to help everything is a scam". Then comes that fear of breaking free from that so called trap.
Julia, this one really resonated with me.🙏 Being a practising architect and a mom living in Prague and watching all my friends building up great bussinesses I always thought - this is what I want, I want to be as successful as they are..but you just said it- actually I don't. I want to spend time with my kids, I want do sports with them, travel and all that stuff.And not just to sit in front of a computer 24-7 like my architecture friends do.Thank you so much for reminding me❤️
Hi Julia i can’t tell you how much I NEEDED THIS Video. I some times get jealous after looking at a family vacation photo or there house but this I do know what I want from life and have it. My biggest pet peeve is comparing myself to others like that person has that big house or that person goes on vacations ex . I allways forget. I work on my rental properties I have passive income streams like rentals that. I have to Generally provide me with positive cash flow . I two can go and spend thousands on vacation but won’t be able to be financially free if I wear to start spending my money on vacation and things . I wouldn’t be able to be financially free as I am today . Sure one day I will go on vacations but that is not my story right know. I am more focused on building financial freedom when I can quit my job so thanks I forgot for a while that what i am doing is important to my life and journey right know . Thanks . Everything looks better when it’s edited on social media 😅
ok julia how did you know i was struggling this these days i notice am comparing myself these days i was having alot and i lost alot of weight due to stress thanks for sharing i needed this
Thanks for the video. According to me, comparing yourself to others can be a tough habit to break, but it's not impossible. Here are three simple steps you can take to stop comparing yourself for good: First, acknowledge that everyone has their own unique path in life. Second, focus on your own progress and achievements, rather than measuring yourself against others. And finally, practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you are enough just as you are.
I'm not sure its that were enough as we are its that we are trying to fulfill things that we in fact just want to do ourselves to complete us. I think just saying were enough as we are is a bit altruistic.
@@mporio101 actually that’s completely sure. If we constantly think that are enough, and refuse to identify our shortcomings, then we will never improve. We will never become a better member of society. We will stay stagnant if we continue to think that we are enough as we are, and refuse to realise in what ways we suck.
Can you please make a video about FOMO and/or how parents makes us unconfident through their education and how to separate your own bad attitude from parents attitudes
Julia, thanks for showing up and still offering great advice. It seems you’re family life may have changed? Perhaps, a parting of ways? I know its important to keep some aspects of your life private, but I just want you to know that I appreciate you still showing strength in what might be a tough time. Xo
Julia how does one find out why or if they have certain genetic dispositions for certain illness. My parents parents were 6th and 8th born people I think from the old world. Farmers. They are not educated like you. They passed. My parents are boomers who are third children. My understanding is first born are healthier? I am a second born son. I was born later in life to older mom. I always wondered does that have risks for not being perfect physically? If I do "feel bad and reject who I am"? Is this real or are you just "making it up" (so to speak) people have said I'm awkward but I often feel they are. I often believe I'm "better or more talented" yet I'm afraid of social engagement to attain my personal goals. My family members are always complaining about something...and I often manifest these traits and say "people like this (hot 'white' lady lol) are full of it" even if I don't believe it. Then I keep doing the same behavior. What is your advice to repair this trauma?
That first born, second born stuff sounds like complete bullshit to me; I would not spend a second thinking about that because it is unscientific and crucially takes away your responsibility/power by giving you a 'oh well it's what I was born with' excuse'. Secondly, start to think 'what is my edge?' e.g. do people/friends say 'oh you are so artsy' or 'you're a computer wizard' whatever it is that you love to do work on that (even as a 'side hobby' if your current work isn't related). I think your belief that you're more talented than other people may or may not be true and honestly I've caught myself thinking this way too, but I think it points to a lack of effort e.g. well I could've done what they did if I bla bla bla'. Best thing you can do is use that resentment/envy(?)/feeling of injustice as a fuel to put some work in and let your natural talent blow those people out of the water!
Thats all fair but I would certainly say for myself that I don't envy or want things that are not far out of the normal. I for ex tried to buy a apartment in 2021. Did the work and tried everywhere. I made an offer and due to the realtors mistakes and maybe my own I didn't get anything. Fast forward a few months and I see a couple who are friends of mine just go out and get a place in a week without any thought at all. Here we are 2 years later and still I'm renting and cursing this everyday. Again this is just an example as its not a unrealistic or non normal want and thus I think falls into the category of a realistic want but what it does leave me with a harsh sense of absolute bitterness and anger.
Greetings! Honestly, this video is incredible! I was wondering if I can help you to edit your videos and create some highly engaging visuals and shorts out of them. Here also I did a whole case study on your social media pages and you would be surprised with the scope of improvement that I found in your content. I got some serious inputs for you and I would love to share them ASAP. I am excited to read your positive response. Thanks
I can really relate to this . I’ve battled anorexia mostly and some bulimia since I was 15 . I’ve always been a people pleaser and a perfectionist . I’m confident in myself now yes but even now I’m still a constant work in progress and I’m still working through my insecurities ❤
Hi Julia! Senior Shifter Chris is here!
Another great and important topic - especially more so now with social media and the illusion that everyone is or has better than you. Most of the time, people only post the “good” stuff and not the “bad” stuff.
My takeaway is that I can spend the energy on creating my own path. In fact, someone (Someone you know Julia) once said to me:
“Whenever you focus on what other people have that you don’t, you give away your power. Every minute spent comparing your path to someone else’s is a minute lost on creating your own.”
I absolutely loved that.
Now that I know I am the captain of my own ship, I want to overcome the thoughts that are keeping me stuck from sailing. (I just made that one up!)
When looking back at my creative side, I have seen so much progress in my art skills and my musical skills. I did that. I created that for myself. I can still look to others from inspiration, like artists and musicians, but only for inspiration - don't compare their work to mine.
Here are my notes:
Comparing keeps us stuck because we have thoughts like "we are not good enough", "I don't have what it takes" "Everyone else seems to be this way or that way."
Makes us feel depleted, defeated and discouraged.
1. Pay attention to what is important to you (Make sure to live in congruence with that instead of looking at what somebody else had and being envious of that.)
Questions to ask yourself:
*Is this something I really want?
*Do I really want to do the work to get it?
*If I do the amount of work, I need to get it, do I want to maintain that to keep that going?
*What is important to me?
*What do I value?
"You have say over creating the things that are important to you!"
2. How am I taking care of myself? (What feels good to me? What am I doing to nurture and honor my wellbeing?)
* Am I staying true to the things that are important to me?
* When we create what is important to us, what others do does not even matter.
3. It doesn't matter how interesting, magnetic, beautiful, put together, successful, interesting, intelligent somebody else is, I still have the exact same compacity for joy, for love, for connection and for belonging. (Nothing external can create the internal deep experiences like love, belonging and connection…)
Whatever someone else is doing is great for them, and what I am doing is great for me.
To those who struggle with comparison, I hear you - just remember always what a worthy and valued person you are!
I remember when I was infatuated with the influencer lifestyle. Now that I’m working on healing and peace, I can’t imagine ever doing that and I truly don’t know how people manage their mental health with a job like that. Because showing up regardless of how you feel is had.
Hard
Could you elaborate on what do you mean by influencer lifestyle.... it's being a famous youtuber not as good? Please tell me coz I struggle with comparison with these famous influencers and their rich lifestyle
Wow. I'm having jealous issues and I've been listening this on repeat for days. I always start crying at the 13 minute. My little heart needs this. 😭
This video hit to the core of my issues! I just about started crying! I thought I was the only one! I felt like she was in my head saying all the things I think all day! These are all very Biblically based ways to help.
Kristina, thank you for articulating this training so eloquently yet clear and real. This trait reared its ugly head this week. God led me to this message. You are a God-send. Your work matters! Thank you, thank you, thank you! ❤
Hi julia
I'm from India🇮🇳.
I often watch your videos.
They r really practical and not all words and motivation.
You are greatly contributing. Please always keep it up. Bless you. Hope more and more people discover your amazing channel.
Beautiful message.
Wow!!!! This video is so good and brought perspective to what I actually want in life. Thank you! ❤
Great insights Julia! One that I find helpful as well is thinking of the pros and cons of wanting what I am envious of. For example, if I win a million dollars, I can buy expensive things but I will also deal with relatives begging for my money. Also, sure I may have enough money for a yacht but it has expenses and a lottery is just a one time earning the expenses cannot cover down the road, leading me to become broke.
I have been comparing my self to my sister for years. Trying so hard to stop, thank you Julia Kristina for your help
Thank you so much for making this information freely available for public use. Your videos address certain things I have struggled with and caused me so much pain and heartache. I really hope to keep the advice you’ve given with me for the rest of my life. The work you’re doing is so invaluable. Whether people are seeing them or not. You’ve made a difference for me. Thank you❤
I've been listening to your videos for years and they've made me feel good but I've been practicing being more outspoken but I still feel "unfulfilled" and I really "don't know what's important"
This is one of the best videos I have seen on this topic it actually really helped me more than any others. Thank you so much!
I have listened various talks about how to end comparing with others and they were good BUT the way you did it?
Strait to the heart!
Thank you!!!
Needed to listen to it few times, and some more in the future. so many things I can apply to my life
You had me taking notes! I can tell you are a counsellor. Thank you!
So incredibly true! Many thanks for imparting your insights with all of us!
Hi, Julia, thank you for this video. I feel that I have a vacuum of goals for my own life. I'll look at your other videos and see if you've addressed that.
Thank you Julia.
This helped me appreciate the way my life is trending. I like your emphasis on being content with joy and love in your relationships no matter where you have them whether on a fancy yacht or a humble home.
I really enjoy your content. Thank you!
Thanks Julia, this video really resonated with me and really helped me get through my emotions today.
We all have demon thoughts in our heads that we have to deal everyday
I love your videos so much that whenever I want to learn about a particular topic, I first check if you’ve made a video on it before I watch another person’s video
Thank you so much for sharing and thanks for all the effort you put in making those videos!!
Thank you! This was great and helps!
Thank you for this. I've always compared myself to my friends or to anyone I see. Like how are they able to afford those? Like how did they get there? Why am I still here? I've realized I can do stuff with my own pace and there's no one else walking in the same path as I am. I will keep this for reminder as your other videos. I may not be a shifter but I'll always go for your video to remind myself whenever I question myself.
Hey Julia,
Big fan of your content. Great video, great message. Thank you!
Been watching your content for quite some time now and has definitely helped me along my journey of overcoming a lot of mental struggle I've been dealing with. On top of mindfulness meditations and CBT practices, I feel like I'm a new person with a new outlook on my life overall.
Keep up the great videos and content!
I believe when people get into a rut and families get stuck into their perceived habits it's very hard to break free of "abusive mechanics" and such to change. Or I realize maybe I'm the one who is literally being negative because I'm afraid to change in spite of effort. I tend to get discourage when I "don't get or obtain results in romantic relationships" or just relationship in general. Being awkward socially maybe I don't understand. Everything I've been raised to believe is "we are not important people we can contribute but the bigger things are other peoples problems". And when people try to help everything is a scam". Then comes that fear of breaking free from that so called trap.
Julia, this one really resonated with me.🙏 Being a practising architect and a mom living in Prague and watching all my friends building up great bussinesses I always thought - this is what I want, I want to be as successful as they are..but you just said it- actually I don't. I want to spend time with my kids, I want do sports with them, travel and all that stuff.And not just to sit in front of a computer 24-7 like my architecture friends do.Thank you so much for reminding me❤️
Could you do a video on belonging? I struggle with connection.
What an absolutely incredible and useful video! Thank you so much, Julia💓
Thank you so much 🙏✨
Hi Julia i can’t tell you how much I NEEDED THIS Video. I some times get jealous after looking at a family vacation photo or there house but this I do know what I want from life and have it. My biggest pet peeve is comparing myself to others like that person has that big house or that person goes on vacations ex . I allways forget. I work on my rental properties I have passive income streams like rentals that. I have to Generally provide me with positive cash flow . I two can go and spend thousands on vacation but won’t be able to be financially free if I wear to start spending my money on vacation and things . I wouldn’t be able to be financially free as I am today . Sure one day I will go on vacations but that is not my story right know. I am more focused on building financial freedom when I can quit my job so thanks I forgot for a while that what i am doing is important to my life and journey right know . Thanks . Everything looks better when it’s edited on social media 😅
Thank you for this ❤
ok julia how did you know i was struggling this these days i notice am comparing myself these days i was having alot and i lost alot of weight due to stress thanks for sharing i needed this
Great questions! It really puts things into perspective
thank you sooo much
Hello julia is amazing i do feel stuck I'm not taking care myself I'm not staying true to what's important to me I've lived in comparison.
When you compare yourself to others your denying your own self unique identity. It's always important to be yourself.
I am 58 and doing this for years!!! Not good
I am 56 and same!!
I love your content thank u❤
Thanks for the video. According to me, comparing yourself to others can be a tough habit to break, but it's not impossible. Here are three simple steps you can take to stop comparing yourself for good: First, acknowledge that everyone has their own unique path in life. Second, focus on your own progress and achievements, rather than measuring yourself against others. And finally, practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you are enough just as you are.
I'm not sure its that were enough as we are its that we are trying to fulfill things that we in fact just want to do ourselves to complete us. I think just saying were enough as we are is a bit altruistic.
@@mporio101 actually that’s completely sure. If we constantly think that are enough, and refuse to identify our shortcomings, then we will never improve. We will never become a better member of society. We will stay stagnant if we continue to think that we are enough as we are, and refuse to realise in what ways we suck.
Can you please make a video about FOMO and/or how parents makes us unconfident through their education and how to separate your own bad attitude from parents attitudes
Julia, thanks for showing up and still offering great advice. It seems you’re family life may have changed? Perhaps, a parting of ways? I know its important to keep some aspects of your life private, but I just want you to know that I appreciate you still showing strength in what might be a tough time. Xo
I'm back again this sounds like me totally
Hi Julia!
Julia how does one find out why or if they have certain genetic dispositions for certain illness. My parents parents were 6th and 8th born people I think from the old world. Farmers. They are not educated like you. They passed. My parents are boomers who are third children. My understanding is first born are healthier? I am a second born son. I was born later in life to older mom. I always wondered does that have risks for not being perfect physically? If I do "feel bad and reject who I am"? Is this real or are you just "making it up" (so to speak) people have said I'm awkward but I often feel they are. I often believe I'm "better or more talented" yet I'm afraid of social engagement to attain my personal goals. My family members are always complaining about something...and I often manifest these traits and say "people like this (hot 'white' lady lol) are full of it" even if I don't believe it. Then I keep doing the same behavior. What is your advice to repair this trauma?
That first born, second born stuff sounds like complete bullshit to me; I would not spend a second thinking about that because it is unscientific and crucially takes away your responsibility/power by giving you a 'oh well it's what I was born with' excuse'. Secondly, start to think 'what is my edge?' e.g. do people/friends say 'oh you are so artsy' or 'you're a computer wizard' whatever it is that you love to do work on that (even as a 'side hobby' if your current work isn't related). I think your belief that you're more talented than other people may or may not be true and honestly I've caught myself thinking this way too, but I think it points to a lack of effort e.g. well I could've done what they did if I bla bla bla'. Best thing you can do is use that resentment/envy(?)/feeling of injustice as a fuel to put some work in and let your natural talent blow those people out of the water!
@@adamlee3333 thanks Mr Lee. I am willingly to work in that
Thats all fair but I would certainly say for myself that I don't envy or want things that are not far out of the normal. I for ex tried to buy a apartment in 2021. Did the work and tried everywhere. I made an offer and due to the realtors mistakes and maybe my own I didn't get anything. Fast forward a few months and I see a couple who are friends of mine just go out and get a place in a week without any thought at all. Here we are 2 years later and still I'm renting and cursing this everyday. Again this is just an example as its not a unrealistic or non normal want and thus I think falls into the category of a realistic want but what it does leave me with a harsh sense of absolute bitterness and anger.
💙💙
Hello
God she is good
Greetings! Honestly, this video is incredible! I was wondering if I can help you to edit your videos and create some highly engaging visuals and shorts out of them. Here also I did a whole case study on your social media pages and you would be surprised with the scope of improvement that I found in your content. I got some serious inputs for you and I would love to share them ASAP. I am excited to read your positive response. Thanks
This doesn’t apply to body envy. They didn’t DO anything to have wide hips with a tiny waist. It’s genetic.
Jesus crist, you meander so much and plug your cult like there's no tomorrow. Very hard to listen to for concrete points.
Thank you, Julia. I needed this. =)
Hey I’m Sabina I’ve only just found this channel I compare myself all the time but I need to stop
Your amazing I really needed this thanks for saving me 😩🫶🏾