i’m not religious, but i grew up christian. i’m autistic and lgbtq and i can’t tell you how often each day i feel like there’s just something inherently wrong with me. what a powerful song.
@@lolaauty yeahh.. I feel that too.. Well, maybe we're not the same but.. I feel like these are pulling me farther away from God like others out there. I hope you don't loose you faith because that is the scariest thing actually.
As someone who grew up in the Christian church and struggles with chronic illness, this made me bawl the first time I heard it and now is my breakdown crying song because it rings so true for me
Wow as someone with chronic illness this song hit me hard aswell and I didn’t know anyone else would relate this way. The line “if Jesus died for all our sins, he left one behind the body I’m in” I cry everytime at that because I’m upset my body doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to.
my situation too, every time i look at my religious teacher i just remember our sexuality lesson, where she completely denied and rejected any orientation besides straight and cisgender
This comment replies is sick. Guess theres still doubt in born muslims, shaytan is guiding you to do bad things. I genuinely hope u wake up before its too late, take care.
I was raised a Christian, every night I would pray, pray my soul out to be a happy little girl... this song hits hard because I had a really tough childhood.
me too :( i'm still struggling with my relationship with Him, but i'm working through. idk if you're still a Christian, but i really hope that you find yourself. that you heal from your trauma and that you find your own happiness.
im Christian and it breaks my heart to see so many people who’ve experienced religious trauma. sadly, so many people have twisted religion into something hateful and it’s affected so many people. religion is hard to understand if you’ve only experienced the hateful side. i don’t blame anyone for feeling this way. i belive because i have experienced God, but i know not everyone has and that’s okay. sending love to everyone who feels this song deeply, no matter how it resonates with with you
I am apart of the seventh Day Adventist Church and I whole heartedly agree. As a Christian we should not hate others no matter who they are. Even if we do not agree with them we should still be kind and loving. It hurts me to know that there are people out there who have be hurt by our people.
@@maggieleppla2005 most can't do that. Most of you use that but as judgment. It's a stupid sentence. What about be compassionate to people and their process?
*do you ever see someone and think "wow they got lucky"?* this one lyric put into words the amount of envy i feel for others in my life, struggling with a brain that hates itself. others being able to just do stuff of their own volition. and now im in a body that i don't belong to.
damn it felt like you read my mind and feel what i feel because thats exactly how i feel and i never knew how to explain it, I would just push away and tell myself that i was being selfish and that i couldnt be like that because i was always told that i couldnt feel this or that because im too young know what that is or that im just looking for attention
i remember the 13 year old me praying and begging for Him not to make me a homosexual after hearing the preaching about being gay's a sin. preached by my own father. this song hits different to me.
We're on the same page, when I was 14 I cried a lot everynight and prayed for him to fix me or to like get my free will, make me his. but I realized he doesn't care at all
As a trans woman born into a heavily Christian family, this is a beautiful song that describes how I felt about myself and the discussion I had with myself about my faith. I personally chose to not believe as even if he is real, he let me suffer and didn’t give me options to be who I really was. It felt like God had a personal vendetta against me- even though that’s totally unreasonable to think.
As a trans man who isn't very religious at all really I do believe in spirits though I just wanted to let you know that places like camp Calumet Lutheran exist where they ar very open and loving. At Calumet they don't believe being LGBTQ+ is a sin. They're even working on making the camp a more comfortable place for trans people by adding more gender neutral bathrooms and possibly making a cabin specifically for trans campers uncomfortable with being with either the boys or girls. There is hope that these religious groups will someday be more excepting Calumet is just the beginning.
@@user-m7s8z you don't love a person who tortures you, it's not suffering with a purpose, it's suffering for the sake of suffering. A doctor makes you suffer to fix you, a lover tries to not let you suffer, an abuser makes you suffer just to make you suffer. The view that everything is a test is just a justification for an abusive god.
@@normalostrich6250 He's not a simple person, he's GOD. And he is your doctor, your lover, your father, your protector, your friend and so much more so he give us lessons in different forms and we are the ones that decide how to face every lesson
Yeah, it really sucked. I was slightly scared all the bad things I do would all be in this book bc I think I heard that mentioned, and I'd somehow end up in Hell if I was bad enough. I was raised Catholic but now am not part of that religion, for that reason and they don't support the LGBTQ community.
I think I was 13? Anyways, I was terrified that I would do something that would cause God to send me to hell so I would pray obsessively, in tears, and beg for forgiveness every night until it became too much and I tried to kill myself with a bottle of my dads medicine.
@@arrozconhabichuela I certainly dont anymore, but I'll probably never associate religion with anything other than my own anxiety. That is what baptism indoctrination does to children with mental disabilities.
Felt this. I have a older sister who’s so gorgeous. She’s always had everyone’s attention. She has the body I wish I had. My shoulders are so broad, I gained weight so easily, I get body acne a lot. No matter how much I skip meals, how many times I shower and shower and shower, no matter what I do; my body never looks good. I can’t wear anything without looking in the mirror and examining every fat fold, every bump and lump in my hips and thighs. No friends or family calls me pretty. I’m just always nice. That’s all I can really be. I know being called pretty isn’t the biggest compliment; but just once I want to wow someone. I just want someone to reassure me that I am pretty…but no one does and I’m forced to try and pick myself up. But it’s hard. Idk I have so many flaws. Sometimes I just think that maybe I’m not really worth anything…
Im so sorry you have had to deal with the burden of feeling inferior your whole life. Im so sorry this world is so fucked up that bone structure means more than how one human treats another. Im so sorry you hurt like this. And im so grateful for youre presence here. Im grateful for your vulnerability and your comment. Im grateful because i hurt, too.
But just once I want to wow someone" dang I felt that so fuckin deeply 😭😭 it hurts to be "average" in a society that praise physical appearance and puts everyone that looks like a model on a pedestal! Like influencers literally get millions of followers and tons of money just by being there and by being pretty if that doesn't tell you what our society is about... it hurts I played a game with my friend and it was like "what would I steal from you" and I was saying your eyes color, your hair color, your sense of humor and for me she just said my creativity and other qualities, like no physical attributes, it hurts when your genes weren't on your side. I mean I get called pretty sometimes but I never know if they're just being nice I wish I knew I was pretty for sure you know. I felt your whole comment and this song in my core. 💔
You are not your sister. And thank everything for that. You're you and you're worth every compliment and time. Don't let anything make you feel like you aren't pretty. You don't have to have those things to be pretty. It's not just corny to say you're beautiful because you are you. Because it really is the truth. You're everything you are on the inside and outside. All of it is pretty.
I was raised catholic. I was led to believe that God makes miracles happen, and saves us from things. Where was he when I was sexually assaulted? Where was he when my family blamed me for it happening? Where was he when I was seven?
Oh my God I'm so sorry you had to go through something so traumatic and also I hate your family but hey you're beautiful and strong and worthy . Let nobody tell you any different
God doesn’t just save everybody from everything. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works, and I’m sorry if you’ve been mislead to believe that. Sin is pervasive and affects everyone differently; some worse than others. What God does do 24/7 is heal. Don’t let false “Christians” paint your picture of Christianity. Praying for your mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. 🙏🏾❤️💜
@@lalaeatinagotdamnburger3416 but well God knew it would happen and it's just unfair. It's a seven years old kid. "He has a purpose for everything", but what in the world was the point in this wtf Does he have to make someone suffer so they gonna crawl his way begging for love and comfort? Sounds kinda narcissist
@@sayursorryand3478 Id say for how i was raised inthe catholic church its not that god did anything to you or planned it out to make you miserable, but that humans have freedom to choose to act through free will. Humans will hurt others, and through god we can hope to heal from things other do and what we ourselves may do and regret. I'm glad growing up my mom was clear things are like fables in the bible just meant to convay a moral way to live, and that we all have the ability to do evil. Its not god (or a sense of higher beings) that creates evil, just people.
I was also raised Catholic. I am a decedent of survivors of multiple genocides. Which were done in his name. I have seen first hand the generational harm it caused. I was also violated as a child something no one should have to go through. I deal daily with both physical pain and depression/PTSD. I often felt like an outsider for not being enough (I'm of mixed ancestry) of one or the other for my own people. I know this is a lot, but I just wanted to help show you you're not alone.
As a Christian who struggles with her faith, I relate to this. Sometimes I just spend so much time picking out my flaws and thinking "How could God ever love me?". I love God, but I don't love myself. People have told me that that's wrong because God made me in His image, which means I'm insulting God. I feel so lost sometimes.
I'm struggling with the same thing as you, everything I do seems to be a sin, and sometimes I believe and sometimes I don't, and like you I struggle with really bad body dysmorphia. Even if I don't take my own advice, I say you should focus more on yourself and your beliefs rather than what they tell you, or I tell you. Your not alone m8
As someone who was raised in an evangelical church that ostracised me when I was 'traumatised' as a child, the line 'if Jesus died for all our sins, he left one behind the body I'm in' hits hard.
Knowing that someone else who grew up in an Evangelical church didn't fit in hits hella hard, Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I don't know your exact story but just know you're not alone. You are so strong and I hope you're able to heal from it.
I was raised LDS/Mormon, which is a religion that believes having a body is the greatest privilege and the whole reason we came to earth. As a disabled and chronically ill person, being told my broken body was a blessing always felt like a slap in the face. This song so perfectly captures the feeling of my supposed blessing being a curse.
Sorry this is a really late reply but I feel the same way! I’m chronically ill and I’ve had people tell me how “beautiful” my suffering is and then in the same breath tell me “everyone has a cross they need to bear”
@@woodentampon6416 pls, its so stupid it makes me so mad. they said to love life since ur placed on this world to do "god's work" or some bullshit like that but it doesn't make any logical sense. sometimes i wonder if we're placed here just to suffer and let god watch us clown around for his entertainment
I'm agnostic now but damn this really gave me goosebumps. It's heart-wrenching. The way Catie conveys her emotions through her lyrics and her voice... Brilliant.
Oof. It... This one hits hard. Though I'm not Christian I still.... Felt this differently- A lot of my friends are traumatized in this same way. And it makes my heart hurt to know you too hurt this way. Don't censor it and don't hide yourself. I think your bravery to put this out will help a lot of people that feel this pain. I am proud of you for venting your feelings and truly think the video editing and composition of this piece are phenomenal. I especially ✨felt✨ it when you cut the instraments at the very last lines. This song is so impactful. Well done honeybee! I hope you find peace in your mind and this comment makes you smile a little bit 💙💜💙💜💙
Lyrics Do you ever see someone and think “Wow, God must hate me” ‘Cause he spent so much time on them And for me, he got lazy Got ample mental illness, personality flaws While their only flaw seems to be that they have none at all Do you ever see someone and think “Wow, God must hate me” I’ll let Him take accountability For everything that’s wrong with me Can’t hold myself responsible So I blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I’m in Same hands that made the moon and stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts I don’t know what I believe but it’s easier to think He made a mistake with me Do you ever see someone and think “Wow, they got lucky” The craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts They don’t track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert Do you ever see someone and think “Wow they got lucky” I’ll let Him take accountability For everything that’s wrong with me I can’t hold myself responsible So I blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I’m in Same hands that made the moon and stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts I don’t know what I believe but it’s easier to think He made a mistake with me Do you ever see someone and think “Wow, God must hate me” ‘Cause he spent so much time on them And for me, he got lazy
I grew up in a Christian household, where a lot of pressure to be close to God was put on me. My sisters easily talked in tougues, forged great relationships with him, while I was never able to do anything. I was told I was lazy and wasn’t trying hard enough, and I cried out to him almost every night. I begged him to talk to me. I felt unlovable, like if the father of fathers dosent even want to talk to me, then I must be doing something wrong, *i* must be something wrong. I felt so alone.
First of all, thank you for sharing. I hope you are doing better now. Sometimes God talks when everything it's silent and calm. Like a relief you feel in your body. You have to be very keen on listening, to whatever He says. Maybe you had the wrong focus, since you were trying to get close to Him mostly to make your family comfortable and proud, instead of talking to Him because of who He is and what He has done (not trying to make you accountable that though, its just a bad mindset from a bad experience) What its true for certain, nevertheless, is that He loves you, even if u can't talk in tougues or read prophecies or easily hear His voice. Just try your best, and don't beat yourself up for it. In love theres no fear (1 John 4:18) and the most important thing is love (1 Corinthians 13) love you!
As someone with immense trauma and BPD, this is absolutely gut wrenching. I don’t understand what I did to be dealt this hand. I’m not a believer in god, but I grew up in a Christian household. Even so, I still feel abandoned by someone who was supposed to protect me and love me unconditionally. He didn’t help me. What I went through didn’t make me stronger. I’m absolutely broken
I dont exactly know what to say to you but I hope that if you want someone to talk to just message me, reply on this message if you want. It may feel so horrible to feel that way..
I am so sorry you had to experience this immense trauma. I understand, I see you. He was suppose to protect me but used and abused me, my heart goes out to you ❤
He does love you unconditionally, cuz u r his child ... no matter how broken u think u r... u were strong enough to keep holding on... in his time he let's u see all the beauty in u
“got ample mental illness and personality flaws and their only flaws seem to be that they have none at all” as a christian who struggles with severe depression and anxiety this line really resonates with me. some christian’s think that mental illness isn’t as serious as it is and yea, so i just really relate to that part.
@@taylerstanick2395 Odd, he sympathises more and has the power to change it but doesn't. Almost like it's all made up BS to make you feel better and to garner money and power from the weak-minded thought slaves that are bred into it and kept there with fear and a dangling carrot of paradise after you die.
@@pluribus3362 i understand where you’re coming from but we all suffer with mental health or mental illness in some way in life. in the bible it even says we will suffer, and that an unhappy spirit would come upon us. not because God wants us to suffer, but because of the world we live in it’s bound to happen. but the bible ALSO says in roman’s 8:18 “the pain you have been feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s to come” just have a little faith in God, he has everything worked out. God bless you
It hurt like heck, but I'm glad I was depressed. It has helped me see another side of life and help others, it was the devil who did it to me for sure, but God turned my broken story in something beautiful.
I feel you on that. Gre up 7th Day Adventist and struggled with mental health and would always be told that the reason for my struggles was because my faith was not strong enough and those problems would go away if I believed harder. Not exactly the thing you want to hear when you feel like you are drowning and only have a splinter to keep you afloat.
I hope that everyone in the comments is doing okay. Religious trauma is heartbreaking and demeaning and it has lasting effects on the people who come into contact with it. Regardless of our beliefs let’s be kind to one another and when someone expresses their pain let’s not invalidate them. The Creator of the universe doesn’t need to be defended and instead would implore you to be kind and loving towards all. I hope you all know how special and one of a kind you are. The world wouldn’t be the same without you!
The Creator of the universe commanded us Christians to love. Jesus literally said that it is the whole meaning behind the Bible & the law & all the prophets. In I John it says that God is love, whoever knows love knows God, & whoever does not know love does not know God. Jesus also says that if we cannot love the brother whom we can see how can we not love God whom we cannot see? Religious trauma is so much more heartbreaking when you realize that people are being hurt & are leaving the faith because of people doing the exact opposite of what God told them. The Heart of the Creator of the universe breaks for every person hurt by His people. It Breaks. They say the more you love the more you hurt over your loved ones. In that case it makes sense that only God is purely love, because only God could handle all that pain.
If we end up in heaven at the end of our life and then God said "It isn't wrong to love a person no matter who or what gender they are." i would drop down on my knees and cry out the pain that the world made me endure because of cruelty. This song is powerful 😢
I can assure you, he will say exactly that. After death, we have no body and therefore no gender or sexuality (those are human things). Only souls filled with love - not romantic love, just pure love for every other existing soul.
@@Jen_the_Dragon_Queen So stipe everything from you except inescapable love regardless of the person or how awful they were to you or anyone else. That's not paradise. That's eternal thought slavery. But given that you all seem to practice for that most of your life. It's not surprising that sounds like heaven to you.
as someone who had the "gods hates transgenders, there's a demon in them" pushed against them while they were questioning their gender, this hits so hard, god actually did get lazy with me 😕
God beautifully and wonderfully made you. He loves you, and don’t let a bunch of people that don’t know what they’re talking about tell you any different.❤️
I know it sucks and this song hits to close to home but at the end of the Jesus said you were to show how powerful creative powerful diverse God is he also says you weren't a mistake even the hairs on your are counted and that he planned you even before you were a thought in your parent's head
I hate how God made me. I can't imagine a creator making a good-looking person and then making me with the same love and effort. I feel like God just crumbled together some dirt and called it a body for me like he was too busy making everyone else. I don't know if I want to be a follower of Christ anymore because it seems like he just hates me.
I grew up in a abusive household. ( I still live there ) I’m 17 now and I never experienced any kind of love in my life. I’m so lonely. I never felt so useless. I don’t wanna live anymore. I’m in a very depressing episode in my life right now and I swear I tried everything to get out of it but nothing works. It feels like everyone and everything works against me. Every time I see all these daughters with their families it feels like the world is mocking me. I didn’t grew up religious but I found God in the lowest point of my life. I’m happy that I did but I can’t help but think that God doesn’t love me because every time I pray to Him, so he can help me with my sickness and to get out of this shit hole but he never does. I don’t think that he answered any of my prayers. It makes me feel really helpless. How can the God that made me deny me?
I hope you're still with us, friend. I wanted to reply because I've been *exactly* where you are -- abusive religious household, wishing for a parent-daughter relationship, praying night after night that God would help save me from abuse, and attempting to take my life when he didn't. It's so painful, and I'm so so sorry you're going through it, because I know exactly how deep that pain runs and how it makes you feel like your life will always be this way. Because of the abuse I have a lot of trauma and an anxiety disorder - mental illness made it so much worse, because I would beg God to take it away and felt like he hated me or that I wasn't a "good enough" Christian when those prayers weren't answered, even though I did all the things. When discussing the abuse, every adult I encountered - pastors, life group leaders, the teachers and principals at my Christian school - all just told me to "keep praying." I know the feeling of everyone working against you and being utterly alone in the world. It may not help you, depending on your circumstances, but I'm 21 now, and I honestly didn't think I'd live this long. I worked my ass off to go to university, I just started therapy a couple months ago, and I'm working on getting through each day one at a time. I'm nowhere near healed or recovered, but I guess what I'm trying to say is don't end your life. Find the one thing you can keep living for, whether it's a person or a goal or just getting tf out when you turn 18 (for me, I keep living for my dog; she's the light of my life and I know she wouldn't be taken care of if I was gone). Most people have never experienced what you and I have experienced, and for that alone we are already so strong to have made it this far. Your life has value, and you are already so resilient. Our lives will never look normal compared to other people, but it doesn't mean we can't change our futures. I wish you literally all the best in the world and hope you can get out as soon as possible.
I wish I could walk up to you, give you a hug, and tell you this in person. You are valuable. Your life has value. You are not worthless. God… He never says He’s going to fix our problems. He doesn’t even say He will keep us from physical harm. But He promises to always be there with us. He is with you, loves, values, and treasures you. He hates to see you hurt. To see you sick. And to watch people hurt his precious child. He is just as much with them as He is with you. He loves them as much as He loves you. He values them and wishes for them to feel loved by Him, just as He loves you. They have to choose to accept His love to feel it, and if they did, they would know how to love others the way He loves them. I have never personally gone through what you and many others have, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and value you. God taught me how to do that. God does hear you, He values your voice, He cares about your pain, and He knows how hard it is better than anyone else ever could. Know that you are not alone and that this pain doesn’t define you. That you are no less valued than anyone else. That your life does not belong to the people around you or the hurt that you experience. It doesn’t create your identity. Who you are is the precious daughter of Christ who will never leave you. Never.
People may look perfect and seem to have it all but if you look inside you'll see perfect is not all its cracked up to be. The day you except who you are with all your flaws is when others will too. Just being you. I wish I would have when I was young because now I'm happy just being me. Please don't loose your faith or you'll loose yourself, I know. Don't look at others like they are better it harms them and you. Life may seem long and not worth it. But if you have faith trust yourself, and talk to God you can't imagine the possibilities ❤
When you are 18 you can start having more control of your life. Things change if you make it happen, sitting back and waiting for something is a lonely place to be. Start small. Work a PT jib, a little of your own money gives you a little freedom. Life can be good. There is still good out here.
Aww. I can understand that and hope things get better soon. Please don't kill yourself. I hope you find at least one person that fully cares about you.
Gosh, this song makes my heart ache. This brought me back to the time where I was begging God to make me white after suffering heavy racism as a small child. I was feeling so dirty, sickly and ugly. I've since moved on, but it still hurts so much. Plus other religous trauma I've suffered, but that's something else. I've never heard a song that's touched the inner depths of my soul. This song made me felt things I've never felt before.
Oh baby im so sorry to hear that ): 🤍 i hope you know that you are absolutely beautiful in the eyes of the creator, who loves you no matter what other people may think❤i hope you're okay now, if you ever need to talk im here❤
Im so sorry you felt that way. You are beautiful. I always hated being mixed because I never fit in and then it finally clicked I didn't have to. I hope you have people who support you now.
i grew up in a catholic/christian household... i also am autistic and lgbtq+ and have ocd/adhd ... the amount of times i thought i was broken and didn't deserve to be here was beyond comprehension, thinking that jesus truthfully forgot to make me "perfect" or at least, that he didn't spend any time making me anything more than what i am now. i still am healing for that but it was hard growing up with that mindset
as a christian & lgbtq+ ally/supporter; all i want to say is all christian’s should be supportive, & if they aren’t they aren’t a real christian. God loves everyone; we all sin but nobody is a sin. you are a blessing to have on this earth. nothing is wrong with you; God welcomes you with open arms even if you push him away; he doesn’t hate you and nobody should
@@why_oh_elle yup :( its so hard especially when people don’t understand that it’s not a choice and they hate us for something we can’t control. i’ve heard way too many people say they would be fine with assaulting or even killing us and it just hurts so bad sometimes, i understand how that feels especially because my family is from eastern europe and a lot of lgbt+ people get bullied and assaulted there daily as well as receive death threats
I feel like I was made as a mistake. All i have is pain. Why did God made me? Why? I just want to close my eyes forever. And never wake up again. If God is listening to me i hope he can take me with him thats the only way i will have peace in my heart.
This is my comfort song, I grew up in a catholic household, and have PCOS, am unattractive, have major depressive disorder, overweight, began to doubt my religion, can't even sing, and many other things. But I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family.
I’m Christian. But I’m also asexual and have come from a family that has a lot of church related trauma, so finding a place in the church was very hard for me. God doesn’t hate people or make mistakes, but I know for a fact that his people do. As a Christian I know how mean other Christians can be, and I want to apologize because that’s not how it should be. We’re not any holier than thou, we’re saved through grace and mercy alone.
I'm Catholic and I totally agree with you. It's ironic how so many people who claim to be following God's preaching actually don't and just spread hate and bigotry at every chance they get
@@nk361 how ignorant of you to assume like you know what happened to someone else. some horrible things could’ve happened to them. there are a lot of stories of abuse, sexual assault, and gaslighting in the church especially on minors and it’s not their fault that it happened, why are you acting like you know their whole life story… if you are a christian i’m not surprised because a lot of you assume and judge others for no reason which only makes everything worse. people are allowed to talk about their personal struggles and battles
@@makeitrainnnn because liberals are less than 1% actual trauma survivors and 99%+ people that are overly emotional, in need of attention, happily sinners, false victims, accusation makers, bandwagoners, etc. We have the same problem going on right now with #metoo where the man is assumed to be guilty until proven innocent which he almost always is proven innocent yet his reputation was ruined because of all the false claims floating around. These people are blaming God for their own problems and their own family's choices that almost never have anything to do with it. It's a noticed pattern.
@nk361 do you fucking know what it’s like to be shamed for what you eat and to feel inforior to everyone around you and wishing that You could just make yourself have a realtionship with God.
I don't consider myself religious but my family is heavily Christian. I'm LGBTQ+ (asexual, aromantic and agender) and the lines about god having been lazy with me and not with others just... they hit very hard. The song itself is sad but reading the comments here bring me some comfort, letting me know that I'm not alone in this. Thank you for making such a beautiful song and opening up a space for people to vent 💖
How tf did this person just break into my head and dig up all my deepest and darkest innermost thoughts and insecurities and make a low key amazing song out of it
I was not expecting to cry listening to this for the first time. I definitely wasn't expecting it to hit so close to home. I grew up extremely catholic, going to church every sunday, praying every night, and then everything changed. And I honestly don't know what to believe anymore.
Im a baptist,have been my whole life and still am. But i resonate with this song,im chronically ill,have suffered serious abuse and serious mental health issues. I constantly asked God “why me? What did i do to deserve all this?” Hopefully one day we’ll all get the answers we seek.
As a Christian this hit hard hearing that “God made you like that for a reason” sometimes I just break from and fall to knees asking god why he made me like I am.. so this song hits hard. But you have to remember that one day we will get new perfect body’s so please don’t give up cause every second you alive is second close to pure happiness.. ❤️
While I understand that this brings you hope. It's really not the appropriate place to say these things. It's disrespectful to offer the poison as a cure to someone that is hurting. You aren't helping. If you want to make other's lives better, or even your own. You have to put in the work yourself. No god, or anyone else is going to help you do that.
i’ve begged God for years to cure my depression and anxiety bc i always heard that he could do it but he hasn’t. it’s so much worse, especially since quarantine. my mom says wait on his timing but ive been waiting for 5+ years.
I was a Christian for 19 years. I was told to hate the lgbtq+, POC were bad, and that everything was a sin. I’m pansexual and struggling with mental issues. I had a terrible childhood and had to be an adult at 4 years old. I was in and out of foster care and don’t even know who my real parents are and my adoptive ones abused me. I’m no longer Christian, or religious at all. This song talks so much truth..
I know this might not hold much weight, but I’m so sorry for what you’ve experienced. A person should not have to go through such things, especially a child. I hope you’re doing well and that you’re safe.
I wish i could give you a big hug. I feel the same way, but i feel like im losing myself. I've lost chunks of myself and im barely piecing myself back together.
That's so horrible, I don't even think your teachers were christian, it sounds nothing like it. I hope youre doing okay now! I'd give you a big hug if I could.
@@ahemwut2599 idk if they were Christian or not because we didn't talk religion at my school. There was 1 high school teacher I has that told us he was Christian but I didn't like him or talk to him and he was gone half the year for a kidney transplant. But I could tell most of the teachers I had weren't Christian or didn't care how others lived their lives. They didn't push their views onto and let us be our own people and make our own decisions. But that's not what my comment was about, I said my parents and all of my family. I didn't have Christian friends or teachers.
I stopped believing in God a very long time go. My mother never really understood, until I explained that the general Christian population around where I live would want me dead if they knew who- what- I am. I then asked her, "If your God is so loving, then why did he allow my ex to abuse me for three years? Why did he allow me to dive so far into the deep end that I nearly drowned?" I've made my peace today. He didn't pull me out of my darkest hour. I did. On my own. With my own two hands.
I am christian and I can't tell you how often I felt that I was fake and wrong each time I attended church because I am part of the lgbtq, and I still remember how I prayed everyday to God at 9-11 yrs old to "fix" me when I realized I'm able to love both men and women. I felt that it strayed me further away from god so I prayed that this feeling would go away but it didn't and I started developing suicide thoughts because of this. I'm 14 and still struggling with my faith in god. Thank you so much for this song, I have never found a song that deeply resonates with me as much as this does. (I'm sorry if my grammar is bad, english is my 3rd language)
I never really believed in a Christian god but I remember hoping he was real and praying whenever I fought with my mom promising I'd be devoted to him if he could fix whatever was wrong with me mentally that caused my mom to not love me and if he just made me into a good child who could shut their mouth for five seconds and not upset everyone around me then I'd be devoted forever. It just got stuck in my head for years that maybe if I prayed I would be fixed even if I never really believed cause when I was 5 a smaller Christian cult paid for my mom's college and even though my mom was never Christian, she was raised in to different cults because she was poor and they offered food so she still carried a lot of those mentalities into raising me without realizing it
I did the same as a child, my Catholic school was big on prayers so everytime I felt helpless I tried to promise I would ‘be a perfect Catholic’ I wouldn’t say I have religious trauma, but the religion definitely did some things to my thought process
Beautiful song I feel so represented and I would like to share some words for us who are afraid of going to hell, it's not God you blame it's the church how they treated you, Jesus loves us unconditionally as long as we ask for his forgiveness and Believe in him he will understand you can seek comfort in him I feel so represented with this song with my ED, Jesus loves us and will help us he's coming and I pray for everyone here through the laughs, love, an the hardship, Jesus loves you never forget that this song is a very powerful message.
I feel lucky Catie, because I am alive at the same time as you. This is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard and I'm 64 years old and a Dr of Music so I've heard a lot of songs. Don't ever think for one minute that you are not beautiful, because you so are. xxx
Im an atheist. When I was suicidal I asked and begged god to tell me why was I so... Wrong. That's a memory that deeply engraved in me, even though I don't believe in religion, that was my lowest point.
This song makes me want to join hands with my old friends from our little Christian school. The closeted, the depressed and anxious, the lonely. I saw what their parent’s beliefs did to some of those kids and their self esteem and mental health. I wish I could have done more sometimes.
I am Christian and pray everynight for my family's and friends' safety and health. Since April this year, after struggeling for years with ED, neurotic disorder and Endometriosis, I developed additionaly Morbus Crohn. Nothing seems to help. I take my meds and I still pray to become healthy cause i am 25 and feel like dying most of the time.
Sometimes God does not answer our prayers in the ways we wish he would, but I think it's comforting to know that there is a reason for everything. I will pray for you
I grew up in a community that were Jehovah witnesses. I had to hide a huge secret from everyone until I got out of the witness life. I’m finally able to express that I’m Bi and not ashamed of it anymore. This song will forever be engraved in my heart.😭🥰
i grew up in a christian church and household with an ed, i was always shrugged off and told that “god made me perfect”. this song proves that i’m not alone in feeling imperfect and comparing myself to others and that “made perfect” excuse doesn’t help. currently bawling
I have cerebral palsy. I also get anxiety in social situations. Today I had a big presentation in college, and completely failed it. I was so anxious my mind went blank. I then watched most of my able bodied classmates going through the speech no problem. I wanted to cry. I just wish I could be normal for a day. If there is a God, I wish he had given me that chance.
This song made me cry so much because I relate to this. I grew up Christian and all this just is relate able to me. Specially when I got into Jr-High I compared myself to others and I felt different then other people.
I was raised Christian. I fought with the idea of being forced to love a God who I felt had done me wrong with the life and body he put me in. And then to hear God only did it to make me strong was a bigger smack in the face and invalidation of all I went through. Now that I'm older, I'm non religious. I have accepted that sometimes people are just born into better lives than other, it just is what it is. It's unfair, but I made it though and I have myself to thank for that.
I'm a trans autistic guy raised in a Christian family, and I've felt like this for the longest time. An analogy that really helps me is "Why did God create trans people? The same reason he created grapes and not wine, so that humans could partake in their own creativity." I don't even believe in God anymore, but its still pretty affirming to me. Just sharing in case anyone has the same outlook as me and is looking for a better way of thinking about it. You're not a mistake, no matter who says it, they're wrong.
@@iixrosetta liberals (which he is one of) live off of words of affirmation for their terrible life choices and immoral choices. This person seeks people and opinions that push what they think for them to feel better. The harsh truth is that they are just pretending and avoiding help/reality. It's extremely immature too for them to say God had that idea of them when they are some of the worst sinners. They deny God then worship people that encourage them instead. Other people with the same problems with their mind. "Man can justify anything"
I'm a womb twin survivor. The first thing I ever knew was loss and mourning. I now have BED, suicidal thoughts, survivor's guilt, problems with keeping friends, and I have to hold myself up to the highest standards just so I can feel like I deserve to live even though my twin brother didn't get to. I hate my life and I want out, but I don't want to hurt my family. I'm so alone. If God's real, I have no doubt that he hates me.
I struggle with depression and it feels like it kept getting worse everyday and I'm tired of people around me telling me "a prayer could help" or "God has better plans for you" like I'm literally trying my best to keep me alive every single day and people will say "thanks be to God you're still alive" whenever I open up about my problems. And I also hate them for blaming me for being depressed and God is just doing its job
Hey! Your comment caught my attention. The truth is that our sins don’t define us and they are not who we are. We were born in a fallen world and if we live according to our sinful nature, then we live a life that practices sin. We have free will, and if we chose to live a life according to God’s will (following God) then we are living a completely different life and Jesus’ sacrifice is what will define us. Then God’s love will define us.
Hi! Sorry but our sin doesn’t define us but rather who God says we are. I promise if you pursue a relationship with Him, you are His child. THAT is your identity. You won’t find permanent fulfillment in your sins but Jesus gives you that fulfillment. If the church or certain Christians have condemned you for your sins, I’m sorry. We all sin, it’s in our nature but Jesus redeems us and cleanses us from all of that. It was the people who hurt you, not Jesus. He’ll never leave nor forsake you because you are LOVED❤️.
@@_.chela._8651 Okay but abandonment isnt love either when a child is begging and screaming for help and you turn a blind eye because you "love them" you aren't showing any tyoe of love
I was raised in a Catholic and I can't even begin to describe how deeply I resonate with this song. How many nights I stayed up as a kid begging in tears to god asking why I was born. Good to know others feel the same💜
This song deliberately describes my life right now. I grew up believing in God on my own. I had depression and anxiety so I gave my life to God but it just became worse so I decided to give up. I couldn’t keep up with school, our house got demolished, my parents’ only income which is a business is slowly failing so they’re always fighting. I also have health problems which is not helping at all. I had thought of suicide a lot of times but I kept believing that God will save me. Now, I don’t know anymore. I’ve been so tired of everything and life that I’m slowly giving up on pursuing God.
Regardless of the existence of a god or not. It doesn't matter. Since you live with your parents I'm going out on a limb and saying you are young. You seem to really love your parents and want to keep fighting for your life. Keep a hold of that and use it to rise up and get yourself to a better situation. Use the hurt and pain and turn it into something either creative or something that excites you. Try out different things, then perhaps one day you can turn that into a carrer. Mind you, a lot of things you don't need college to accomplish. Including a lot of tech stuff. If you are interested in that kind of thing. Do a little google search on certificate programs or maybe try to find your favorite hobby and see if there's a carreer path that could not only help you buy maybe help out your parents? When you get that age anyhow mind you.
Thank you for sharing your struggle. Hope you find some comfort to know it reassonates with us. Though it may seem you are not alone. We are all around you, just in different places and different times.
It is a beautiful song and portrays so much feeling, I cannot help but get teary-eyed. It hurts so much to see people feel unloved and left alone. I know how much God loves each of His children. His love is unconditional, and He makes no mistakes, even when we feel otherwise. I just hope people who feel like this can feel the love of God, and come to see themselves as He sees them.
I believe in Jesus; my struggle continues in faith is my insecurity, and I come to doubt a lot about God's love for me. Many times I have asked him why he did not make me the same way as others. I even have social anxiety, and people in the church (extroverts, like most people) are apparently unable to understand this without linking it to sin, they forget to "suffer with those who suffer." But ironically (if you can put it that way) it is God throughout the Bible who has kept me going when my insecurities strike and I want to end it all.
As someone who is suffering, I needed this. I always feel and think like this almost everyday. I feel like there is something wrong with me and if god does hate me. I really want to get better. And I try to pretend I'm okay when really I'm not. I just want all of this to be over. It's not fair. 💔
as a Christian I can proudly say that God loves all of his children! no matter if your LGBTQ or not I'm so sorry for all the people in the comments who were raised with such bad experiences with the church! God loves you all and nothing can change that! your relationship with God isn't about the church that cast you away its about you and what you want. God wont force himself on you, you have the power to form a connection with him if that's what you want, it's not up to anyone else but you!
This really speaks to my trans self, who also believes in God. The dysphoria really hits hard sometimes and feel this deeply, waiting till I can get out of this house so I can finally feel comfortable in my body is such a deadly long timeline.
I get it. I struggled with body dysmorphia for years and now have chronic pain and illnesses the last decade. I cannot wait to be without pain or sickness and to just be at peace with Christ. This song hits deep. I feel your pain. Know that you aren't alone ❤
@@taylerstanick2395 as a trans person with body dysmorphia that's not the same thing as being trans. Body dysmorphia is abt not having the correct perception of urself, being trans is simply identifying different from the gender u were assigned at birth. Some ppl have distress from this and seek medical treatment, and others simply happy to be seen as who they r without any medical treatment. Trans ppl don't simply have a wrong perception of wat they look like. Plenty of trans ppl r aware of how they look. It's kind of hard to have a misperception abt having a penis or a vagina, boobs or no boobs. That's like saying a person with a cleft palate has dysmorphia, bc they don't like how they look do to the condition.
Maybe this isn’t the same as everyone else’s story. But I grew up Christian and have struggled with my faith forever. Currently thinking about leaving my faith all together. I’ve prayed and tried to have faith my whole life. But my body is still shutting down. I do everything right. I’ve lost weight, eat healthy, workout. And my heart is still having problems and not even the doctors know why. i prayed and worshipped a month straight.. and now I'm even worse. people always talk about gods healing powers and i want to believe but it just feels like God must hate me. and when i die. which will probably be soon ill pay for my disbelief
Hey, god loves you whatever, and even if that means you need a little time away from him before you get answers that’s ok :) you are loved by so many people, god included but also so many others! I hope you get the healing you deserve, I’m praying for you and don’t give up! Your strong for going through all of this but it will get better ;)
I used to feel this way when I used to be bullied and was told "I am not good enough" by others. I want to cry. I am glad I took the time to read the new testament and he answered all my questions. I am reading the old testament now and it makes me understand more on how awful people were and he still loved them enough to be there for them during battles.
The line "do you ever see someone and think wow God must hate me/they got lucky?" reminds me of one conversation I've had with my younger brother one day and absolutely changed the way I see things. I grew up drowning in self hatred while trying to pretend everything was alright to try and keep my family somewhat together. When my mom couldn't, I took care of my younger brother and sure, it made our relationship look more like a father and son one than siblings at times, but I'm thankful I get to be the one he talks to when he's not fine. And, one day, he came to me. We started talking and talking, until it was late at night, and he ended up crying in my arms and asked me if I ever felt like he did. I said yes. He looked at me so surprised and literally went "you? but look at you! you're perfect!" He then told me that he admired me. And all this time, I hated myself so much and I wished to be anyone but me so bad, that I never realized I was, in someone else's eyes and, more than that, to the one person I love most, worthy of admiration and love. Everything I couldn't stand on myself, was everything he thought made me the greatest person in his life.
God didn’t make a mistake with anyone. There’s free will so if someone doesn’t realize how amazing you are it’s because of their own perception their own free will.
Just adding, don't say this to people with religious trauma or to yourself. I get that it seems helpful, I really do, but it fucks people up do much since it invalidates trauma. I get it doesn't to invalidate, but that's why many people use the saying "There's no hate like Christian love", it's painful and deadly and makes people think they were put through these things for the greater good, when many were or are children. So sorry if this has happened to you at all, but please refrain from saying this to others, especially people no longer part of the church. Have a good day, stay safe
@@nesrynthesloth4952 THIS is how we need to confront people spreading Christian “love” there’s so much hate hardwired into the religion and yet they claim to “love and accept you”
I'm not Christian, but I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family and me having trouble with my belief made me always (and still) have fights with my dad. I was bullied in school and got diabetes so I was praying and crying to God to help me, but nothing changed. My family is ultra Orthodox so I never had someone to talk about my thoughts. This song made me cry
I just heard this on tiktok for the first time and came here to hear the full song. I cried. I grew up mormon feeling like if i'm not perfect then god doesnt want me with him. I left at 18 but eversince I've felt spiritually crippled like i cant have a relationship with god cause im so afraid he's the toxic God Christianity teaches you about and im afraid he'll hurt me again if i let my guard down but its so hard having no spiritual life when i feel like thats a huge part of who we are as humans.
As a Christian and LGBTQ, this honestly hits so hard. I always question whether he loves me or not, if my family would still love me, I also question my faith constantly. This resonates sm.
God loves you! Don’t let other people tell you otherwise! Don’t change who you are, God made you in his image and gave you free will. I’m a Christian and I see how cruel my religion can be, but we are not all the same! Express yourself and be who you want to be, but just know God will Love always no matter what anyways says.
Another song to include along with gets better and prom queen and now I can label them as the finest cruelty of being a teenager. The lyricism in this song was super emotionally infectious T^T I can't believe it that I'm crying in my room in the middle of the night.
The same GOD that made the stars and moon perfect,is willing to perfect our imperfections and some things we call imperfections are actually perfections in his eyes
i’m not religious, but i grew up christian. i’m autistic and lgbtq and i can’t tell you how often each day i feel like there’s just something inherently wrong with me. what a powerful song.
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, you’re perfect ❤️
Hey, you are amazing love, I believe in you, you got this. You are worth the whole universe, try not to forget your worth
i’m bi and autistic but i’m still christian i feel as those these things bring me closer to god
ruclips.net/video/aFRhfiwMTE8/видео.html
a song i wrote for my future self :(
@@lolaauty yeahh.. I feel that too.. Well, maybe we're not the same but.. I feel like these are pulling me farther away from God like others out there. I hope you don't loose you faith because that is the scariest thing actually.
As a Christian who struggles with an ED+a lot of body image issues, this one hit hard.
Same 😔
I'm not Christian and this still hit hard. Hope you're doing okay
yeah
Right there with you.
@@ells.m of course, being a Christian specifically doesn’t impact somebody’s struggle, I hope you’re doing okay as well!
as someone with body dysmorphia, the line “when i look into the mirror for too long it hurts” makes me feel so represented and understood.
I also have body dysmorphia, so I get it.
Same
As someone who grew up in the Christian church and struggles with chronic illness, this made me bawl the first time I heard it and now is my breakdown crying song because it rings so true for me
Sorry if this is invasive but are you no longer Christian? ❤️ (btw I’m atheist so this isn’t me trying to bring you back if you aren’t)
Wow as someone with chronic illness this song hit me hard aswell and I didn’t know anyone else would relate this way. The line “if Jesus died for all our sins, he left one behind the body I’m in” I cry everytime at that because I’m upset my body doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to.
STOP THIS IS ME AND IM CRYING
@@thedepressedavacado8267 Jesus loves you !!!! and always will
@@zombrz no he doesn’t. I don’t believe he’s real so please don’t try and convince me, you won’t
As someone in the LGBTQ+, I was raised in the Catholic Church where I was told constantly that being gay is a sin. This resonates so much with me
my situation too, every time i look at my religious teacher i just remember our sexuality lesson, where she completely denied and rejected any orientation besides straight and cisgender
Same. I grew up evangelical/baptist. There is no hate like Christian “love”
Feelings are not a sin. Sometimes acting on them is.
@@shealabowers5080 I am sorry you were treated that way. Christians are still human, they make terrible terrible mistakes. Let Jesus talk to you ❤️
Sorry but it is tho....and christ can help you change it
I didn't even grow up Christian, I grew up Muslim but this still deeply resonates with me.
lmao same
same-
Same.
I'm losing faith but it feels lighter. I want to, someday, leave the religion successfully.
This comment replies is sick. Guess theres still doubt in born muslims, shaytan is guiding you to do bad things. I genuinely hope u wake up before its too late, take care.
Same ;(
I was raised a Christian, every night I would pray, pray my soul out to be a happy little girl... this song hits hard because I had a really tough childhood.
me too :( i'm still struggling with my relationship with Him, but i'm working through. idk if you're still a Christian, but i really hope that you find yourself. that you heal from your trauma and that you find your own happiness.
@@urmom-hk3of i‘m sorry girl :( God loves you so much. I hope you do better now
@@urmom-hk3of your doing so amazing girl, i’ll be praying for you. sending you all my love
Me too, I mean I’m still a child but it’s been rough
ruclips.net/video/aFRhfiwMTE8/видео.html
a song i wrote for my future self :(
im Christian and it breaks my heart to see so many people who’ve experienced religious trauma. sadly, so many people have twisted religion into something hateful and it’s affected so many people. religion is hard to understand if you’ve only experienced the hateful side. i don’t blame anyone for feeling this way. i belive because i have experienced God, but i know not everyone has and that’s okay. sending love to everyone who feels this song deeply, no matter how it resonates with with you
I appreciate the fact that you come with love and don't push your beliefs onto people. I appreciate that greatly.
I agree. Sometimes, even after feeling God, I believe their wicked version of it... :(
I am apart of the seventh Day Adventist Church and I whole heartedly agree. As a Christian we should not hate others no matter who they are. Even if we do not agree with them we should still be kind and loving. It hurts me to know that there are people out there who have be hurt by our people.
Love the sinner hate the sin
@@maggieleppla2005 most can't do that. Most of you use that but as judgment. It's a stupid sentence. What about be compassionate to people and their process?
*do you ever see someone and think "wow they got lucky"?*
this one lyric put into words the amount of envy i feel for others in my life, struggling with a brain that hates itself. others being able to just do stuff of their own volition.
and now im in a body that i don't belong to.
damn it felt like you read my mind and feel what i feel because thats exactly how i feel and i never knew how to explain it, I would just push away and tell myself that i was being selfish and that i couldnt be like that because i was always told that i couldnt feel this or that because im too young know what that is or that im just looking for attention
i remember the 13 year old me praying and begging for Him not to make me a homosexual after hearing the preaching about being gay's a sin. preached by my own father. this song hits different to me.
Same. Im atheist now, wish i had this song growing up
Listen to the song ‘heaven sent’ by Parker Millsap, it might resonate with you x
that's actually heartbreaking :(
We're on the same page, when I was 14 I cried a lot everynight and prayed for him to fix me or to like get my free will, make me his. but I realized he doesn't care at all
not me doing the same in the shower because i had a massive fat crush on a girl in my class and i was told it was wrong
As a trans woman born into a heavily Christian family, this is a beautiful song that describes how I felt about myself and the discussion I had with myself about my faith. I personally chose to not believe as even if he is real, he let me suffer and didn’t give me options to be who I really was. It felt like God had a personal vendetta against me- even though that’s totally unreasonable to think.
As a trans man who isn't very religious at all really I do believe in spirits though I just wanted to let you know that places like camp Calumet Lutheran exist where they ar very open and loving. At Calumet they don't believe being LGBTQ+ is a sin. They're even working on making the camp a more comfortable place for trans people by adding more gender neutral bathrooms and possibly making a cabin specifically for trans campers uncomfortable with being with either the boys or girls. There is hope that these religious groups will someday be more excepting Calumet is just the beginning.
God let's us suffer for a reason. You might think it's bull💩, and that's okay. Always trust the process.
@@user-m7s8z you don't love a person who tortures you, it's not suffering with a purpose, it's suffering for the sake of suffering. A doctor makes you suffer to fix you, a lover tries to not let you suffer, an abuser makes you suffer just to make you suffer. The view that everything is a test is just a justification for an abusive god.
@@user-m7s8z are you dense?
@@normalostrich6250 He's not a simple person, he's GOD. And he is your doctor, your lover, your father, your protector, your friend and so much more so he give us lessons in different forms and we are the ones that decide how to face every lesson
Growing up thinking the slightest mistake would drag you down to the deep depths of hell was really something I love this song
Yeah, it really sucked. I was slightly scared all the bad things I do would all be in this book bc I think I heard that mentioned, and I'd somehow end up in Hell if I was bad enough. I was raised Catholic but now am not part of that religion, for that reason and they don't support the LGBTQ community.
as a Christian with body dysmorphia and struggles with faith, this hits so close to home
I am sorry to hear that, I hope that everything gets better to you, sending online hug ❤❤
🤍🤍🤍
Considering I was 7-10 praying every night for god to save and “fix” me it hits deep
same :(
8-12 for me
I think I was 13? Anyways, I was terrified that I would do something that would cause God to send me to hell so I would pray obsessively, in tears, and beg for forgiveness every night until it became too much and I tried to kill myself with a bottle of my dads medicine.
@@arrozconhabichuela I certainly dont anymore, but I'll probably never associate religion with anything other than my own anxiety. That is what baptism indoctrination does to children with mental disabilities.
hits home do much
Felt this. I have a older sister who’s so gorgeous. She’s always had everyone’s attention. She has the body I wish I had. My shoulders are so broad, I gained weight so easily, I get body acne a lot. No matter how much I skip meals, how many times I shower and shower and shower, no matter what I do; my body never looks good. I can’t wear anything without looking in the mirror and examining every fat fold, every bump and lump in my hips and thighs. No friends or family calls me pretty. I’m just always nice. That’s all I can really be. I know being called pretty isn’t the biggest compliment; but just once I want to wow someone. I just want someone to reassure me that I am pretty…but no one does and I’m forced to try and pick myself up. But it’s hard. Idk I have so many flaws. Sometimes I just think that maybe I’m not really worth anything…
Hey, MakeMeSmile, you are pretty. You are cute. You are beautiful. You look so amazing in every way.
Im so sorry you have had to deal with the burden of feeling inferior your whole life. Im so sorry this world is so fucked up that bone structure means more than how one human treats another. Im so sorry you hurt like this.
And im so grateful for youre presence here. Im grateful for your vulnerability and your comment. Im grateful because i hurt, too.
But just once I want to wow someone" dang I felt that so fuckin deeply 😭😭 it hurts to be "average" in a society that praise physical appearance and puts everyone that looks like a model on a pedestal! Like influencers literally get millions of followers and tons of money just by being there and by being pretty if that doesn't tell you what our society is about... it hurts I played a game with my friend and it was like "what would I steal from you" and I was saying your eyes color, your hair color, your sense of humor and for me she just said my creativity and other qualities, like no physical attributes, it hurts when your genes weren't on your side. I mean I get called pretty sometimes but I never know if they're just being nice I wish I knew I was pretty for sure you know. I felt your whole comment and this song in my core. 💔
You are not your sister. And thank everything for that. You're you and you're worth every compliment and time. Don't let anything make you feel like you aren't pretty. You don't have to have those things to be pretty. It's not just corny to say you're beautiful because you are you. Because it really is the truth. You're everything you are on the inside and outside. All of it is pretty.
I feel this
miss turner never fails to makes the masses cry until their dry
I was raised catholic. I was led to believe that God makes miracles happen, and saves us from things.
Where was he when I was sexually assaulted? Where was he when my family blamed me for it happening? Where was he when I was seven?
Oh my God I'm so sorry you had to go through something so traumatic and also I hate your family but hey you're beautiful and strong and worthy . Let nobody tell you any different
God doesn’t just save everybody from everything. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works, and I’m sorry if you’ve been mislead to believe that. Sin is pervasive and affects everyone differently; some worse than others. What God does do 24/7 is heal. Don’t let false “Christians” paint your picture of Christianity. Praying for your mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. 🙏🏾❤️💜
@@lalaeatinagotdamnburger3416 but well God knew it would happen and it's just unfair. It's a seven years old kid. "He has a purpose for everything", but what in the world was the point in this wtf
Does he have to make someone suffer so they gonna crawl his way begging for love and comfort? Sounds kinda narcissist
@@sayursorryand3478 Id say for how i was raised inthe catholic church its not that god did anything to you or planned it out to make you miserable, but that humans have freedom to choose to act through free will. Humans will hurt others, and through god we can hope to heal from things other do and what we ourselves may do and regret. I'm glad growing up my mom was clear things are like fables in the bible just meant to convay a moral way to live, and that we all have the ability to do evil. Its not god (or a sense of higher beings) that creates evil, just people.
I was also raised Catholic. I am a decedent of survivors of multiple genocides. Which were done in his name. I have seen first hand the generational harm it caused. I was also violated as a child something no one should have to go through. I deal daily with both physical pain and depression/PTSD. I often felt like an outsider for not being enough (I'm of mixed ancestry) of one or the other for my own people. I know this is a lot, but I just wanted to help show you you're not alone.
As a Christian who struggles with her faith, I relate to this. Sometimes I just spend so much time picking out my flaws and thinking "How could God ever love me?". I love God, but I don't love myself. People have told me that that's wrong because God made me in His image, which means I'm insulting God. I feel so lost sometimes.
I'm struggling with the same thing as you, everything I do seems to be a sin, and sometimes I believe and sometimes I don't, and like you I struggle with really bad body dysmorphia. Even if I don't take my own advice, I say you should focus more on yourself and your beliefs rather than what they tell you, or I tell you. Your not alone m8
as a muslim i relate to this on a whole different level
@sunday thank you
@sunday I actually have noticed talking to Him about these things makes me feel better.
Same
As someone who was raised in an evangelical church that ostracised me when I was 'traumatised' as a child, the line 'if Jesus died for all our sins, he left one behind the body I'm in' hits hard.
Oh im so sorry honey❤i hope you're okay truly, you are so so loved
wow what cowards
not all christian people are like that actually
@@elisabethhhh I don't believe I said that they were, but thanks so much for the input
Knowing that someone else who grew up in an Evangelical church didn't fit in hits hella hard, Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I don't know your exact story but just know you're not alone. You are so strong and I hope you're able to heal from it.
I need this in a 1hr loop so I can maximize my crying
go to spotify settings and pick a fade in and put the song on repeat!!!
go to the screen, then click right... press loop.
Put on loop, three dots and you'll see
Agreed
If your broke like me and don’t have Spotify but have Apple Music there’s a button that will replay the song until you stop it
As someone who was raised Christian while being gay and trans as well as developing an eating disorder and suicidal thoughts this one hits hard
o hope you're doing well now, know that you're loved;))
Hey there. Genderfluid aceflux lesbian with an eating disorder here. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts. You can do it. You're not alone.
😲you literally just described my whole life.
lmfao imagine making as many bad choices as possible then blaming God
@@nk361 it’s not a choice
I was raised LDS/Mormon, which is a religion that believes having a body is the greatest privilege and the whole reason we came to earth. As a disabled and chronically ill person, being told my broken body was a blessing always felt like a slap in the face. This song so perfectly captures the feeling of my supposed blessing being a curse.
lp
p.p
💜
I feel the same
Sorry this is a really late reply but I feel the same way! I’m chronically ill and I’ve had people tell me how “beautiful” my suffering is and then in the same breath tell me “everyone has a cross they need to bear”
@@woodentampon6416 pls, its so stupid it makes me so mad. they said to love life since ur placed on this world to do "god's work" or some bullshit like that but it doesn't make any logical sense. sometimes i wonder if we're placed here just to suffer and let god watch us clown around for his entertainment
I'm agnostic now but damn this really gave me goosebumps. It's heart-wrenching. The way Catie conveys her emotions through her lyrics and her voice... Brilliant.
i love how all the ex-christians and Christians are just bonding instead of yelling at each other. i have faith in humanity
Oof. It... This one hits hard. Though I'm not Christian I still.... Felt this differently- A lot of my friends are traumatized in this same way. And it makes my heart hurt to know you too hurt this way. Don't censor it and don't hide yourself. I think your bravery to put this out will help a lot of people that feel this pain. I am proud of you for venting your feelings and truly think the video editing and composition of this piece are phenomenal. I especially ✨felt✨ it when you cut the instraments at the very last lines. This song is so impactful. Well done honeybee! I hope you find peace in your mind and this comment makes you smile a little bit 💙💜💙💜💙
Lyrics
Do you ever see someone and think
“Wow, God must hate me”
‘Cause he spent so much time on them
And for me, he got lazy
Got ample mental illness, personality flaws
While their only flaw seems to be that they
have none at all
Do you ever see someone and think
“Wow, God must hate me”
I’ll let Him take accountability
For everything that’s wrong with me
Can’t hold myself responsible
So I blame the metaphysical
If Jesus died for all our sins
He left one behind, the body I’m in
Same hands that made the moon and stars
Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts
I don’t know what I believe but it’s easier to
think He made a mistake with me
Do you ever see someone and think
“Wow, they got lucky”
The craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body
When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts
They don’t track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert
Do you ever see someone and think
“Wow they got lucky”
I’ll let Him take accountability
For everything that’s wrong with me
I can’t hold myself responsible
So I blame the metaphysical
If Jesus died for all our sins
He left one behind, the body I’m in
Same hands that made the moon and stars
Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts
I don’t know what I believe but it’s easier to
think He made a mistake with me
Do you ever see someone and think
“Wow, God must hate me”
‘Cause he spent so much time on them
And for me, he got lazy
this is a lyric video???
@@iloveyourmother3000 yeah but personally it's easier to sing and learn the lyrics with them written out, and it's the same for a lot of people 😅
@@bee549 oh mkay :)
Thank you for this ✨
I grew up in a Christian household, where a lot of pressure to be close to God was put on me. My sisters easily talked in tougues, forged great relationships with him, while I was never able to do anything. I was told I was lazy and wasn’t trying hard enough, and I cried out to him almost every night. I begged him to talk to me. I felt unlovable, like if the father of fathers dosent even want to talk to me, then I must be doing something wrong, *i* must be something wrong. I felt so alone.
As a Christian, that seems so toxic and ungodly. i'm sorry you had to go through that xx
First of all, thank you for sharing. I hope you are doing better now. Sometimes God talks when everything it's silent and calm. Like a relief you feel in your body. You have to be very keen on listening, to whatever He says. Maybe you had the wrong focus, since you were trying to get close to Him mostly to make your family comfortable and proud, instead of talking to Him because of who He is and what He has done (not trying to make you accountable that though, its just a bad mindset from a bad experience)
What its true for certain, nevertheless, is that He loves you, even if u can't talk in tougues or read prophecies or easily hear His voice. Just try your best, and don't beat yourself up for it. In love theres no fear (1 John 4:18) and the most important thing is love (1 Corinthians 13) love you!
I understand your feelings too
God doesn't want to talk to me too
it's like so easy for others
I even cried every night before sigh
I have been going through the same feeling for about three years now. I feel like he hates me. I don’t know what to do
I dunno man, just feels like it not there
As someone with immense trauma and BPD, this is absolutely gut wrenching. I don’t understand what I did to be dealt this hand. I’m not a believer in god, but I grew up in a Christian household. Even so, I still feel abandoned by someone who was supposed to protect me and love me unconditionally. He didn’t help me. What I went through didn’t make me stronger. I’m absolutely broken
I dont exactly know what to say to you but I hope that if you want someone to talk to just message me, reply on this message if you want. It may feel so horrible to feel that way..
@@PaulineDCGato thankyou so much for your kindness, it means the world to me.
u are strong, and you can do it!
I am so sorry you had to experience this immense trauma. I understand, I see you. He was suppose to protect me but used and abused me, my heart goes out to you ❤
He does love you unconditionally, cuz u r his child ... no matter how broken u think u r... u were strong enough to keep holding on... in his time he let's u see all the beauty in u
“got ample mental illness and personality flaws and their only flaws seem to be that they have none at all” as a christian who struggles with severe depression and anxiety this line really resonates with me. some christian’s think that mental illness isn’t as serious as it is and yea, so i just really relate to that part.
"Pray it away" they say. God knows and empathizes with our struggles more than people do. Thats all that matters.
@@taylerstanick2395 Odd, he sympathises more and has the power to change it but doesn't. Almost like it's all made up BS to make you feel better and to garner money and power from the weak-minded thought slaves that are bred into it and kept there with fear and a dangling carrot of paradise after you die.
@@pluribus3362 i understand where you’re coming from but we all suffer with mental health or mental illness in some way in life. in the bible it even says we will suffer, and that an unhappy spirit would come upon us. not because God wants us to suffer, but because of the world we live
in it’s bound to happen. but the bible ALSO says in roman’s 8:18 “the pain you have been feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s to come” just have a little faith in God, he has everything worked out. God bless you
It hurt like heck, but I'm glad I was depressed. It has helped me see another side of life and help others, it was the devil who did it to me for sure, but God turned my broken story in something beautiful.
I feel you on that. Gre up 7th Day Adventist and struggled with mental health and would always be told that the reason for my struggles was because my faith was not strong enough and those problems would go away if I believed harder.
Not exactly the thing you want to hear when you feel like you are drowning and only have a splinter to keep you afloat.
I hope that everyone in the comments is doing okay. Religious trauma is heartbreaking and demeaning and it has lasting effects on the people who come into contact with it. Regardless of our beliefs let’s be kind to one another and when someone expresses their pain let’s not invalidate them. The Creator of the universe doesn’t need to be defended and instead would implore you to be kind and loving towards all. I hope you all know how special and one of a kind you are. The world wouldn’t be the same without you!
The Creator of the universe commanded us Christians to love. Jesus literally said that it is the whole meaning behind the Bible & the law & all the prophets. In I John it says that God is love, whoever knows love knows God, & whoever does not know love does not know God. Jesus also says that if we cannot love the brother whom we can see how can we not love God whom we cannot see?
Religious trauma is so much more heartbreaking when you realize that people are being hurt & are leaving the faith because of people doing the exact opposite of what God told them.
The Heart of the Creator of the universe breaks for every person hurt by His people. It Breaks. They say the more you love the more you hurt over your loved ones. In that case it makes sense that only God is purely love, because only God could handle all that pain.
If we end up in heaven at the end of our life and then God said "It isn't wrong to love a person no matter who or what gender they are." i would drop down on my knees and cry out the pain that the world made me endure because of cruelty. This song is powerful 😢
I can assure you, he will say exactly that. After death, we have no body and therefore no gender or sexuality (those are human things). Only souls filled with love - not romantic love, just pure love for every other existing soul.
@@Jen_the_Dragon_Queen So stipe everything from you except inescapable love regardless of the person or how awful they were to you or anyone else. That's not paradise. That's eternal thought slavery. But given that you all seem to practice for that most of your life. It's not surprising that sounds like heaven to you.
@@Jen_the_Dragon_Queen This comment, man you made me tear up. May you have the best life❤️
as someone who had the "gods hates transgenders, there's a demon in them" pushed against them while they were questioning their gender, this hits so hard, god actually did get lazy with me 😕
hey , i know im a stranger but i want u to know that you are valid and also a blessing itself, keep ur head up :>
I feel the same way you're not alone
He didn't! He still loves you, im sorry if you've been ostracized by people ): You will always be welcome to run into His arms❤
God beautifully and wonderfully made you. He loves you, and don’t let a bunch of people that don’t know what they’re talking about tell you any different.❤️
I know it sucks and this song hits to close to home but at the end of the Jesus said you were to show how powerful creative powerful diverse God is he also says you weren't a mistake even the hairs on your are counted and that he planned you even before you were a thought in your parent's head
I hate how God made me.
I can't imagine a creator making a good-looking person and then making me with the same love and effort.
I feel like God just crumbled together some dirt and called it a body for me like he was too busy making everyone else. I don't know if I want to be a follower of Christ anymore because it seems like he just hates me.
As someone who’s family abandoned them as a child, struggles with eating, a disorder and religious trauma.. this hits hard.
hi, hope you're doing well! None of it was your fault.
As a transgender ex Christian, this hits very close to home.
i hope you're doing well now, just know that you're loved:))
Same
Oh gross. The sinner is anti religion, wow
@@nk361 when religious people act and talk like you can you really say you're surprised people don't want to be religious?
@@nk361 didn't God say to not judge others? Do you think you're better than God?
I grew up in a abusive household. ( I still live there ) I’m 17 now and I never experienced any kind of love in my life. I’m so lonely. I never felt so useless. I don’t wanna live anymore. I’m in a very depressing episode in my life right now and I swear I tried everything to get out of it but nothing works. It feels like everyone and everything works against me. Every time I see all these daughters with their families it feels like the world is mocking me. I didn’t grew up religious but I found God in the lowest point of my life. I’m happy that I did but I can’t help but think that God doesn’t love me because every time I pray to Him, so he can help me with my sickness and to get out of this shit hole but he never does. I don’t think that he answered any of my prayers. It makes me feel really helpless. How can the God that made me deny me?
I hope you're still with us, friend. I wanted to reply because I've been *exactly* where you are -- abusive religious household, wishing for a parent-daughter relationship, praying night after night that God would help save me from abuse, and attempting to take my life when he didn't. It's so painful, and I'm so so sorry you're going through it, because I know exactly how deep that pain runs and how it makes you feel like your life will always be this way. Because of the abuse I have a lot of trauma and an anxiety disorder - mental illness made it so much worse, because I would beg God to take it away and felt like he hated me or that I wasn't a "good enough" Christian when those prayers weren't answered, even though I did all the things. When discussing the abuse, every adult I encountered - pastors, life group leaders, the teachers and principals at my Christian school - all just told me to "keep praying." I know the feeling of everyone working against you and being utterly alone in the world.
It may not help you, depending on your circumstances, but I'm 21 now, and I honestly didn't think I'd live this long. I worked my ass off to go to university, I just started therapy a couple months ago, and I'm working on getting through each day one at a time. I'm nowhere near healed or recovered, but I guess what I'm trying to say is don't end your life. Find the one thing you can keep living for, whether it's a person or a goal or just getting tf out when you turn 18 (for me, I keep living for my dog; she's the light of my life and I know she wouldn't be taken care of if I was gone). Most people have never experienced what you and I have experienced, and for that alone we are already so strong to have made it this far. Your life has value, and you are already so resilient. Our lives will never look normal compared to other people, but it doesn't mean we can't change our futures. I wish you literally all the best in the world and hope you can get out as soon as possible.
I wish I could walk up to you, give you a hug, and tell you this in person. You are valuable. Your life has value. You are not worthless. God… He never says He’s going to fix our problems. He doesn’t even say He will keep us from physical harm. But He promises to always be there with us. He is with you, loves, values, and treasures you. He hates to see you hurt. To see you sick. And to watch people hurt his precious child. He is just as much with them as He is with you. He loves them as much as He loves you. He values them and wishes for them to feel loved by Him, just as He loves you. They have to choose to accept His love to feel it, and if they did, they would know how to love others the way He loves them. I have never personally gone through what you and many others have, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and value you. God taught me how to do that. God does hear you, He values your voice, He cares about your pain, and He knows how hard it is better than anyone else ever could. Know that you are not alone and that this pain doesn’t define you. That you are no less valued than anyone else. That your life does not belong to the people around you or the hurt that you experience. It doesn’t create your identity. Who you are is the precious daughter of Christ who will never leave you. Never.
People may look perfect and seem to have it all but if you look inside you'll see perfect is not all its cracked up to be.
The day you except who you are with all your flaws is when others will too.
Just being you.
I wish I would have when I was young because now I'm happy just being me.
Please don't loose your faith or you'll loose yourself, I know.
Don't look at others like they are better it harms them and you.
Life may seem long and not worth it. But if you have faith trust yourself, and talk to God you can't imagine the possibilities ❤
When you are 18 you can start having more control of your life. Things change if you make it happen, sitting back and waiting for something is a lonely place to be. Start small. Work a PT jib, a little of your own money gives you a little freedom. Life can be good. There is still good out here.
Aww. I can understand that and hope things get better soon. Please don't kill yourself. I hope you find at least one person that fully cares about you.
I was hurt by bad people who told me I was a bad Christian for being disabled. This song hurts my heart every time
I'm so sorry that happened to you!
Actually in John Jesus shows us that Disabled people bring glory to the name of GOD,be of good courage soilder
Gosh, this song makes my heart ache. This brought me back to the time where I was begging God to make me white after suffering heavy racism as a small child. I was feeling so dirty, sickly and ugly. I've since moved on, but it still hurts so much. Plus other religous trauma I've suffered, but that's something else. I've never heard a song that's touched the inner depths of my soul. This song made me felt things I've never felt before.
Oh baby im so sorry to hear that ): 🤍 i hope you know that you are absolutely beautiful in the eyes of the creator, who loves you no matter what other people may think❤i hope you're okay now, if you ever need to talk im here❤
Im so sorry you felt that way. You are beautiful. I always hated being mixed because I never fit in and then it finally clicked I didn't have to. I hope you have people who support you now.
i grew up in a catholic/christian household... i also am autistic and lgbtq+ and have ocd/adhd ... the amount of times i thought i was broken and didn't deserve to be here was beyond comprehension, thinking that jesus truthfully forgot to make me "perfect" or at least, that he didn't spend any time making me anything more than what i am now. i still am healing for that but it was hard growing up with that mindset
This song almost breaks me every time. I would put this in a film without hesitation, so strong these lyrics.
as an LGBT+ person who was raised in the evangelical christian church, no you cannot “pray the gay away” that traumatized me so bad
i'm so sorry dear
you're valid ❤️
@@faye-wb9bk thank you 🥺❤️
as a christian & lgbtq+ ally/supporter; all i want to say is all christian’s should be supportive, & if they aren’t they aren’t a real christian. God loves everyone; we all sin but nobody is a sin. you are a blessing to have on this earth. nothing is wrong with you; God welcomes you with open arms even if you push him away; he doesn’t hate you and nobody should
@@kelsi4513 aww thank you angel
@@why_oh_elle yup :( its so hard especially when people don’t understand that it’s not a choice and they hate us for something we can’t control. i’ve heard way too many people say they would be fine with assaulting or even killing us and it just hurts so bad sometimes, i understand how that feels especially because my family is from eastern europe and a lot of lgbt+ people get bullied and assaulted there daily as well as receive death threats
I feel like I was made as a mistake. All i have is pain. Why did God made me? Why? I just want to close my eyes forever. And never wake up again. If God is listening to me i hope he can take me with him thats the only way i will have peace in my heart.
This is my comfort song, I grew up in a catholic household, and have PCOS, am unattractive,
have major depressive disorder, overweight, began to doubt my religion, can't even sing, and many other things.
But I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family.
You're loved. You may not be perfect, but God doesn't love you any less now than when he made you. I hope you're doig well now!
I was raised religious and just recently turned to being agnostic. So this one hits hard on how I felt in the church.
i just discovered the song and immediately crying... this hits so much
I’m Christian. But I’m also asexual and have come from a family that has a lot of church related trauma, so finding a place in the church was very hard for me. God doesn’t hate people or make mistakes, but I know for a fact that his people do. As a Christian I know how mean other Christians can be, and I want to apologize because that’s not how it should be. We’re not any holier than thou, we’re saved through grace and mercy alone.
I'm Catholic and I totally agree with you. It's ironic how so many people who claim to be following God's preaching actually don't and just spread hate and bigotry at every chance they get
lmao "church related trauma" oh no you might become moral and normal, oh so scary
@@nk361 how ignorant of you to assume like you know what happened to someone else. some horrible things could’ve happened to them. there are a lot of stories of abuse, sexual assault, and gaslighting in the church especially on minors and it’s not their fault that it happened, why are you acting like you know their whole life story… if you are a christian i’m not surprised because a lot of you assume and judge others for no reason which only makes everything worse. people are allowed to talk about their personal struggles and battles
@@makeitrainnnn because liberals are less than 1% actual trauma survivors and 99%+ people that are overly emotional, in need of attention, happily sinners, false victims, accusation makers, bandwagoners, etc. We have the same problem going on right now with #metoo where the man is assumed to be guilty until proven innocent which he almost always is proven innocent yet his reputation was ruined because of all the false claims floating around. These people are blaming God for their own problems and their own family's choices that almost never have anything to do with it. It's a noticed pattern.
@nk361 do you fucking know what it’s like to be shamed for what you eat and to feel inforior to everyone around you and wishing that You could just make yourself have a realtionship with God.
I don't consider myself religious but my family is heavily Christian. I'm LGBTQ+ (asexual, aromantic and agender) and the lines about god having been lazy with me and not with others just... they hit very hard. The song itself is sad but reading the comments here bring me some comfort, letting me know that I'm not alone in this. Thank you for making such a beautiful song and opening up a space for people to vent 💖
Sameee but im muslim with overly religious parents :((
How tf did this person just break into my head and dig up all my deepest and darkest innermost thoughts and insecurities and make a low key amazing song out of it
To everyone out there God loves you!! And you are not a mistake. You are a BLESSING.
Which god?
I was not expecting to cry listening to this for the first time. I definitely wasn't expecting it to hit so close to home. I grew up extremely catholic, going to church every sunday, praying every night, and then everything changed. And I honestly don't know what to believe anymore.
Im a baptist,have been my whole life and still am. But i resonate with this song,im chronically ill,have suffered serious abuse and serious mental health issues. I constantly asked God “why me? What did i do to deserve all this?” Hopefully one day we’ll all get the answers we seek.
I am in love with every part of God. My whole life is for Him, and this song still cuts me deep. So so deep.
same omg
This is a song about an atheist's trauma caused by religion 💀
@@ZephyrCheez Ok? And she still resonates with the song? What’s your point lmao💀
@@miraair3056 It's not at all appropriate to say things like this to people with religious trauma
@@ZephyrCheez she didn’t say anything to ppl with religious trauma
As a Christian this hit hard hearing that “God made you like that for a reason” sometimes I just break from and fall to knees asking god why he made me like I am.. so this song hits hard. But you have to remember that one day we will get new perfect body’s so please don’t give up cause every second you alive is second close to pure happiness.. ❤️
While I understand that this brings you hope. It's really not the appropriate place to say these things. It's disrespectful to offer the poison as a cure to someone that is hurting. You aren't helping. If you want to make other's lives better, or even your own. You have to put in the work yourself. No god, or anyone else is going to help you do that.
I relate to what you said alot,
I have mental disorders, and when i was younger i believed god put me here on accident. This song resonates with me well.
i’ve begged God for years to cure my depression and anxiety bc i always heard that he could do it but he hasn’t. it’s so much worse, especially since quarantine. my mom says wait on his timing but ive been waiting for 5+ years.
I hope He will help you soon ❤️
if you wanna talk Im free, love you ❤️
@@lorisjanvier9513 God cannot and will never cure depression
@@isabellechanthavong3818 ahaha okay if you say so but everything is possible to God dude
@@lorisjanvier9513 thank you 🥲❤️ love you too
I was a Christian for 19 years. I was told to hate the lgbtq+, POC were bad, and that everything was a sin. I’m pansexual and struggling with mental issues. I had a terrible childhood and had to be an adult at 4 years old. I was in and out of foster care and don’t even know who my real parents are and my adoptive ones abused me. I’m no longer Christian, or religious at all. This song talks so much truth..
I know this might not hold much weight, but I’m so sorry for what you’ve experienced. A person should not have to go through such things, especially a child. I hope you’re doing well and that you’re safe.
I wish i could give you a big hug. I feel the same way, but i feel like im losing myself. I've lost chunks of myself and im barely piecing myself back together.
@@merub_dafrog same..i feel you cuz I'm going through the EXACT same thing..
That's so horrible, I don't even think your teachers were christian, it sounds nothing like it. I hope youre doing okay now! I'd give you a big hug if I could.
@@ahemwut2599 idk if they were Christian or not because we didn't talk religion at my school. There was 1 high school teacher I has that told us he was Christian but I didn't like him or talk to him and he was gone half the year for a kidney transplant. But I could tell most of the teachers I had weren't Christian or didn't care how others lived their lives. They didn't push their views onto and let us be our own people and make our own decisions.
But that's not what my comment was about, I said my parents and all of my family. I didn't have Christian friends or teachers.
I stopped believing in God a very long time go. My mother never really understood, until I explained that the general Christian population around where I live would want me dead if they knew who- what- I am.
I then asked her, "If your God is so loving, then why did he allow my ex to abuse me for three years? Why did he allow me to dive so far into the deep end that I nearly drowned?"
I've made my peace today. He didn't pull me out of my darkest hour.
I did. On my own. With my own two hands.
I’m sobbing my eyes out at 4am to this song .. A great way to start 2022!!
Yep! 😃✋
Ummmm... Hope you had a better entrance to 2023, then!
As a Christian who struggles with stress eating, ED + other negative thoughts, this is so relatable and it hurts so much
Of all the times I felt abandoned by God, when HE let my grandfather die in suffering was the worst!😢
I am christian and I can't tell you how often I felt that I was fake and wrong each time I attended church because I am part of the lgbtq, and I still remember how I prayed everyday to God at 9-11 yrs old to "fix" me when I realized I'm able to love both men and women. I felt that it strayed me further away from god so I prayed that this feeling would go away but it didn't and I started developing suicide thoughts because of this. I'm 14 and still struggling with my faith in god. Thank you so much for this song, I have never found a song that deeply resonates with me as much as this does.
(I'm sorry if my grammar is bad, english is my 3rd language)
I never really believed in a Christian god but I remember hoping he was real and praying whenever I fought with my mom promising I'd be devoted to him if he could fix whatever was wrong with me mentally that caused my mom to not love me and if he just made me into a good child who could shut their mouth for five seconds and not upset everyone around me then I'd be devoted forever. It just got stuck in my head for years that maybe if I prayed I would be fixed even if I never really believed cause when I was 5 a smaller Christian cult paid for my mom's college and even though my mom was never Christian, she was raised in to different cults because she was poor and they offered food so she still carried a lot of those mentalities into raising me without realizing it
I did the same as a child, my Catholic school was big on prayers so everytime I felt helpless I tried to promise I would ‘be a perfect Catholic’ I wouldn’t say I have religious trauma, but the religion definitely did some things to my thought process
Beautiful song I feel so represented and I would like to share some words for us who are afraid of going to hell, it's not God you blame it's the church how they treated you, Jesus loves us unconditionally as long as we ask for his forgiveness and Believe in him he will understand you can seek comfort in him I feel so represented with this song with my ED, Jesus loves us and will help us he's coming and I pray for everyone here through the laughs, love, an the hardship, Jesus loves you never forget that this song is a very powerful message.
I feel lucky Catie, because I am alive at the same time as you. This is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard and I'm 64 years old and a Dr of Music so I've heard a lot of songs. Don't ever think for one minute that you are not beautiful, because you so are. xxx
sending you love, and i’m so sorry if you feel this way. i promise you are loved 🤍
Im an atheist. When I was suicidal I asked and begged god to tell me why was I so... Wrong. That's a memory that deeply engraved in me, even though I don't believe in religion, that was my lowest point.
This song makes me want to join hands with my old friends from our little Christian school. The closeted, the depressed and anxious, the lonely. I saw what their parent’s beliefs did to some of those kids and their self esteem and mental health. I wish I could have done more sometimes.
I am Christian and pray everynight for my family's and friends' safety and health. Since April this year, after struggeling for years with ED, neurotic disorder and Endometriosis, I developed additionaly Morbus Crohn. Nothing seems to help. I take my meds and I still pray to become healthy cause i am 25 and feel like dying most of the time.
Sometimes God does not answer our prayers in the ways we wish he would, but I think it's comforting to know that there is a reason for everything. I will pray for you
My insecurities are eating me up alive right now, and this song really explains how I feel.
I grew up in a community that were Jehovah witnesses. I had to hide a huge secret from everyone until I got out of the witness life. I’m finally able to express that I’m Bi and not ashamed of it anymore. This song will forever be engraved in my heart.😭🥰
Same here, I grew up as a JW.
You're not alone.
Same except I'm still in it and I can't wait to get out
Same, but I'm still in it. I'm so tired and I wanna get out of here.
@@currentlydaydreaming3333 SAME!!
i grew up in a christian church and household with an ed, i was always shrugged off and told that “god made me perfect”. this song proves that i’m not alone in feeling imperfect and comparing myself to others and that “made perfect” excuse doesn’t help. currently bawling
We all have our flaws, but God loves us and says we're beautiful and precious to him despite them and what the world thinks. I hope you're better now!
I was raised catholic and I'm now agnostic but singing this sent shivers to all my body. I love this song.
I have cerebral palsy. I also get anxiety in social situations. Today I had a big presentation in college, and completely failed it. I was so anxious my mind went blank. I then watched most of my able bodied classmates going through the speech no problem. I wanted to cry. I just wish I could be normal for a day. If there is a God, I wish he had given me that chance.
This song made me cry so much because I relate to this. I grew up Christian and all this just is relate able to me. Specially when I got into Jr-High I compared myself to others and I felt different then other people.
I was raised Christian. I fought with the idea of being forced to love a God who I felt had done me wrong with the life and body he put me in. And then to hear God only did it to make me strong was a bigger smack in the face and invalidation of all I went through. Now that I'm older, I'm non religious. I have accepted that sometimes people are just born into better lives than other, it just is what it is. It's unfair, but I made it though and I have myself to thank for that.
i didn't grew up christian. I'm not even baptised but still... it resonates with me, can't stop listening. beautifull song
I'm a trans autistic guy raised in a Christian family, and I've felt like this for the longest time. An analogy that really helps me is "Why did God create trans people? The same reason he created grapes and not wine, so that humans could partake in their own creativity." I don't even believe in God anymore, but its still pretty affirming to me. Just sharing in case anyone has the same outlook as me and is looking for a better way of thinking about it. You're not a mistake, no matter who says it, they're wrong.
lol the first sentence and this person really thinks they have it all figured out and that they're moral lmaoooo
@@nk361 shut up.
@@nk361 elaborate
@@iixrosetta liberals (which he is one of) live off of words of affirmation for their terrible life choices and immoral choices. This person seeks people and opinions that push what they think for them to feel better. The harsh truth is that they are just pretending and avoiding help/reality. It's extremely immature too for them to say God had that idea of them when they are some of the worst sinners. They deny God then worship people that encourage them instead. Other people with the same problems with their mind. "Man can justify anything"
I fucking relate so much and thank you for your message
I'm a womb twin survivor. The first thing I ever knew was loss and mourning. I now have BED, suicidal thoughts, survivor's guilt, problems with keeping friends, and I have to hold myself up to the highest standards just so I can feel like I deserve to live even though my twin brother didn't get to. I hate my life and I want out, but I don't want to hurt my family. I'm so alone. If God's real, I have no doubt that he hates me.
i am genuinely so sorry.
i don't know how that feels but i know it must be horrible. i wish you the best in life and for happiness in your future
I struggle with depression and it feels like it kept getting worse everyday and I'm tired of people around me telling me "a prayer could help" or "God has better plans for you" like I'm literally trying my best to keep me alive every single day and people will say "thanks be to God you're still alive" whenever I open up about my problems. And I also hate them for blaming me for being depressed and God is just doing its job
The duality of a loving and inattentive god is a paradox that makes current religious structures fall flat on it's face.
I became a Christian when I was 14 and still going strong in God 6 years later
I love this music, seriously
Our sins are the person who we are
Hey! Your comment caught my attention. The truth is that our sins don’t define us and they are not who we are. We were born in a fallen world and if we live according to our sinful nature, then we live a life that practices sin. We have free will, and if we chose to live a life according to God’s will (following God) then we are living a completely different life and Jesus’ sacrifice is what will define us. Then God’s love will define us.
Can we not? If you don’t understand that humans cruel action don’t DEFINE God, bc God is love and love is NOT controlling for one another.
Hi! Sorry but our sin doesn’t define us but rather who God says we are. I promise if you pursue a relationship with Him, you are His child. THAT is your identity. You won’t find permanent fulfillment in your sins but Jesus gives you that fulfillment. If the church or certain Christians have condemned you for your sins, I’m sorry. We all sin, it’s in our nature but Jesus redeems us and cleanses us from all of that. It was the people who hurt you, not Jesus. He’ll never leave nor forsake you because you are LOVED❤️.
we inherit the sins of our fathers, but through Christ we may be saved and break that cycle
@@_.chela._8651 Okay but abandonment isnt love either when a child is begging and screaming for help and you turn a blind eye because you "love them" you aren't showing any tyoe of love
I was raised in a Catholic and I can't even begin to describe how deeply I resonate with this song. How many nights I stayed up as a kid begging in tears to god asking why I was born. Good to know others feel the same💜
This song deliberately describes my life right now. I grew up believing in God on my own. I had depression and anxiety so I gave my life to God but it just became worse so I decided to give up. I couldn’t keep up with school, our house got demolished, my parents’ only income which is a business is slowly failing so they’re always fighting. I also have health problems which is not helping at all. I had thought of suicide a lot of times but I kept believing that God will save me. Now, I don’t know anymore. I’ve been so tired of everything and life that I’m slowly giving up on pursuing God.
Regardless of the existence of a god or not. It doesn't matter. Since you live with your parents I'm going out on a limb and saying you are young. You seem to really love your parents and want to keep fighting for your life. Keep a hold of that and use it to rise up and get yourself to a better situation. Use the hurt and pain and turn it into something either creative or something that excites you. Try out different things, then perhaps one day you can turn that into a carrer. Mind you, a lot of things you don't need college to accomplish. Including a lot of tech stuff. If you are interested in that kind of thing. Do a little google search on certificate programs or maybe try to find your favorite hobby and see if there's a carreer path that could not only help you buy maybe help out your parents? When you get that age anyhow mind you.
Thank you for sharing your struggle. Hope you find some comfort to know it reassonates with us. Though it may seem you are not alone. We are all around you, just in different places and different times.
Thank you so much for your replies. I appreciate it a lot and I’m doing much better now. I try to focus on my faith slowly with God
It is a beautiful song and portrays so much feeling, I cannot help but get teary-eyed. It hurts so much to see people feel unloved and left alone. I know how much God loves each of His children. His love is unconditional, and He makes no mistakes, even when we feel otherwise. I just hope people who feel like this can feel the love of God, and come to see themselves as He sees them.
I believe in Jesus; my struggle continues in faith is my insecurity, and I come to doubt a lot about God's love for me. Many times I have asked him why he did not make me the same way as others. I even have social anxiety, and people in the church (extroverts, like most people) are apparently unable to understand this without linking it to sin, they forget to "suffer with those who suffer." But ironically (if you can put it that way) it is God throughout the Bible who has kept me going when my insecurities strike and I want to end it all.
As someone who is suffering, I needed this. I always feel and think like this almost everyday. I feel like there is something wrong with me and if god does hate me. I really want to get better. And I try to pretend I'm okay when really I'm not. I just want all of this to be over. It's not fair. 💔
this simultaneously says it’s not you’re fault you’ve been screwed and you’re the only one that can fix this and i fucking love
as a Christian I can proudly say that God loves all of his children! no matter if your LGBTQ or not I'm so sorry for all the people in the comments who were raised with such bad experiences with the church! God loves you all and nothing can change that! your relationship with God isn't about the church that cast you away its about you and what you want. God wont force himself on you, you have the power to form a connection with him if that's what you want, it's not up to anyone else but you!
This really speaks to my trans self, who also believes in God. The dysphoria really hits hard sometimes and feel this deeply, waiting till I can get out of this house so I can finally feel comfortable in my body is such a deadly long timeline.
I believe in you, you will get out and you will finally have a body that reflects the true you
I get it. I struggled with body dysmorphia for years and now have chronic pain and illnesses the last decade. I cannot wait to be without pain or sickness and to just be at peace with Christ. This song hits deep. I feel your pain. Know that you aren't alone ❤
@@taylerstanick2395 as a trans person with body dysmorphia that's not the same thing as being trans. Body dysmorphia is abt not having the correct perception of urself, being trans is simply identifying different from the gender u were assigned at birth. Some ppl have distress from this and seek medical treatment, and others simply happy to be seen as who they r without any medical treatment.
Trans ppl don't simply have a wrong perception of wat they look like. Plenty of trans ppl r aware of how they look.
It's kind of hard to have a misperception abt having a penis or a vagina, boobs or no boobs.
That's like saying a person with a cleft palate has dysmorphia, bc they don't like how they look do to the condition.
Maybe this isn’t the same as everyone else’s story. But I grew up Christian and have struggled with my faith forever. Currently thinking about leaving my faith all together. I’ve prayed and tried to have faith my whole life. But my body is still shutting down. I do everything right. I’ve lost weight, eat healthy, workout. And my heart is still having problems and not even the doctors know why. i prayed and worshipped a month straight.. and now I'm even worse. people always talk about gods healing powers and i want to believe but it just feels like God must hate me. and when i die. which will probably be soon ill pay for my disbelief
Hey, god loves you whatever, and even if that means you need a little time away from him before you get answers that’s ok :) you are loved by so many people, god included but also so many others! I hope you get the healing you deserve, I’m praying for you and don’t give up! Your strong for going through all of this but it will get better ;)
If god is real, and he is as loving as people say. I highly doubt they would punish you for losing faith. Only a monster would do that.
@@pluribus3362 thank you
@@annay2743 thank you ❤️
I used to feel this way when I used to be bullied and was told "I am not good enough" by others. I want to cry. I am glad I took the time to read the new testament and he answered all my questions. I am reading the old testament now and it makes me understand more on how awful people were and he still loved them enough to be there for them during battles.
The line "do you ever see someone and think wow God must hate me/they got lucky?" reminds me of one conversation I've had with my younger brother one day and absolutely changed the way I see things. I grew up drowning in self hatred while trying to pretend everything was alright to try and keep my family somewhat together. When my mom couldn't, I took care of my younger brother and sure, it made our relationship look more like a father and son one than siblings at times, but I'm thankful I get to be the one he talks to when he's not fine. And, one day, he came to me. We started talking and talking, until it was late at night, and he ended up crying in my arms and asked me if I ever felt like he did. I said yes. He looked at me so surprised and literally went "you? but look at you! you're perfect!" He then told me that he admired me. And all this time, I hated myself so much and I wished to be anyone but me so bad, that I never realized I was, in someone else's eyes and, more than that, to the one person I love most, worthy of admiration and love. Everything I couldn't stand on myself, was everything he thought made me the greatest person in his life.
Girl, he didn’t make a mistake with you. He made a mistake on everyone who doesn’t realize how amazing you are
God didn’t make a mistake with anyone. There’s free will so if someone doesn’t realize how amazing you are it’s because of their own perception their own free will.
The point of the song is that Christianity itself teaches you to hate everything about yourself that doesn't fit a golden impossible standard
@@ZephyrCheez that is a super super brilliant observation. omg, that explains so much even about my own fucking life. omg. wow. thanks.
Just adding, don't say this to people with religious trauma or to yourself. I get that it seems helpful, I really do, but it fucks people up do much since it invalidates trauma. I get it doesn't to invalidate, but that's why many people use the saying "There's no hate like Christian love", it's painful and deadly and makes people think they were put through these things for the greater good, when many were or are children. So sorry if this has happened to you at all, but please refrain from saying this to others, especially people no longer part of the church. Have a good day, stay safe
@@nesrynthesloth4952 THIS is how we need to confront people spreading Christian “love” there’s so much hate hardwired into the religion and yet they claim to “love and accept you”
I'm not Christian, but I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family and me having trouble with my belief made me always (and still) have fights with my dad. I was bullied in school and got diabetes so I was praying and crying to God to help me, but nothing changed. My family is ultra Orthodox so I never had someone to talk about my thoughts. This song made me cry
This song made me cry several times. It’s so sad and relatable at the same time 😢
To whoever is crying listening to this song just know that God still loves you no matter what you're his beautiful creation
Cute. Stop.
@@pluribus3362 no thank you
I just heard this on tiktok for the first time and came here to hear the full song. I cried. I grew up mormon feeling like if i'm not perfect then god doesnt want me with him. I left at 18 but eversince I've felt spiritually crippled like i cant have a relationship with god cause im so afraid he's the toxic God Christianity teaches you about and im afraid he'll hurt me again if i let my guard down but its so hard having no spiritual life when i feel like thats a huge part of who we are as humans.
As a Christian and LGBTQ, this honestly hits so hard. I always question whether he loves me or not, if my family would still love me, I also question my faith constantly. This resonates sm.
God loves you! Don’t let other people tell you otherwise! Don’t change who you are, God made you in his image and gave you free will. I’m a Christian and I see how cruel my religion can be, but we are not all the same! Express yourself and be who you want to be, but just know God will Love always no matter what anyways says.
he loves you!!!!! no matter what!
He will love you no matter what! He would want you to be *you*
Another song to include along with gets better and prom queen and now I can label them as the finest cruelty of being a teenager. The lyricism in this song was super emotionally infectious T^T I can't believe it that I'm crying in my room in the middle of the night.
The same GOD that made the stars and moon perfect,is willing to perfect our imperfections and some things we call imperfections are actually perfections in his eyes
haven’t cried this hard listening to a song in a long time this is magnificently beautiful