VERSE 1 I know its unexpected Just give me a second I need to sorry for the things I did to you When you were younger To you and your mother If only I’d have know back then the damage it would do PRE I’ve watched you fight with addiction and struggle with commitment Couldn’t help but think of you as a thorn in my side Withdrew my affection to teach you a lesson oh, what a waste of our time CHORUS But there’s no knock on my door There’s no please can we talk No sorry for all of the pain that I caused We’re not sat in my kitchen with quiet forgiveness I thought you would find your way here but you didn’t I’ll write myself the apology I’ll never receive VERSE 2 Too young at eleven to learn of deception Standing on the doorstep you were screaming out my name The day I got married I know you were angry But that’s a conversation I’m not brave enough to face So I kept you at a distance Watched you try to fix it See the pain written on your face it reminds me of her Its hard remember all our years together And I hate that it hurts CHORUS But there’s no knock on my door There’s no please can we talk No sorry for all of the pain that I caused We’re not sat in my kitchen with quiet forgiveness I thought you would find your way here but you didn’t I’ll write myself the apology I’ll never receive OUTRO I can’t keep on waiting For you to say sorry All of the anger it’s poisoned body If you you ever listen to this song I’ve written I want you to know you’re already forgiven
Holy cow!!! This almost describes how I found out about my biological father at 11 years old. And he never actually accepted me as his daughter in anyway; even to his death in Aug. 2020. I met him once at 18 yrs old. 😢
Sat here listening to this on repeat, bawling my eyes out for both parents I'll never hear apologies from. Great advice to write that apology myself. I'm still working through the pain, not quite ready for the forgiveness, but this song helps. Found you from your ADHD content, found your music and was amazed.
as a daughter who has a narcissistic father this song hits hard and hits home because I will never get the apology from him!!! thank you for writing this song !!!!!
I feel this. My mother is a narcissist. Has been my whole life. She's said sorry but I can tell it's crocodile tears. I'm 21tomorrow and she's still the same. One day I'll leave tho. And even tho it will break my inner child I have to do it. I'm gonna do it for myself.
@@elizabethhinklehinkle5393that's the thing its hard trust me. I'm 32 years old and I had to walk away from my dad when i was 29 years old. It broke my inner child but it's made me see that my dad isn't the father or could be the father I wanted from him. I hope you are okay and happy 21st birthday :) :)
My mom is the narcissist. I need to write myself the apology I won't receive. Tired of feeling worthless because the person who supposed to love me deemed it so.
I held it together pretty well up until the 1:50 mark...I literally felt that vocal pitch change in my fucking soul and could not stop crying afterwards. Beautiful lyrics, beautiful song, and a beautiful artist
Absolutely beautiful!! Thank you for writing and releasing this to help so many of us who are trying to heal from the toxic places we came from. Completely crying listening to this, Thank-you 💖
Omg your family at the end 😢😢💔 So glad you finally found happiness with them. One of my absolute favourites because the saddest ones always are. Beautiful song and this video is perfect with Rich and your step daughter running in ❤❤ xxx
i couldn't possibly explain how much this song means to me. but as someone who's had to make my peace with the fact that i'll never get that apology from either of my abusive parents, i feel this song right down into my soul. thank you. not just for writing this, but being brave enough to share your pain in your music. i know that's probably not easy, but you're helping more people than you could ever know
This stopped me dead last night. We may not need the same apology, but we certainly need a very similar one. Family tree finally helped me open up to the truth, and this new beautifully captivating song has opened the truth a little deeper. Your honesty has finally helped me start writing the book I've buried deep inside my pain for years. Roxanne, I'm so sorry you feel pain so profound that it touches such deep pain within others. You are incredibly brave. And beautiful and I thank you so so much.❤x
when you become a parent, its like reliving all of that trauma again. but this time its different. its even more heartbreaking. thank you for this beautiful song. its already changed my world. thank you.
I found this song through tiktok a couple of months ago and i wanted to be the end of the song saying 'your are already forgiven" i am now at that point after losing my dad on June 26 2024. this has been my favorite song and a play it on repeat. I listened to it the last day I went to see him before he died after not seeing him for two years. this is my comfort song right now it says all that i can't.
@@lulusplayhouse9757 sending so much love. I am so so sorry for all of the pain that you went through, that was never ever yours to deal with. Losing him must have been so hard and confusing and I am so grateful you could find some comfort in this song.
Cannot thank you enough for this. Started today crying because my dad doesn't text me back when I check on him or ever call to see how I'm doing. Growing up with two alcoholic and violently abusive parents was difficult. But what's most unbearable is being an adult now and still trying harder then they ever did to bring peace to our family. I see you and love it 🥰 you deserve an apology 💚 🤗
And so do you I understand the alcoholic abuse my mother did to me made me always try to be more for everyone and I never had a chance to talk about it to my mom she passed away on Thanksgiving alone and I was never going to be able to get a apology but you don't let your efforts make you feel less than your brighter and bolder and more precious then anyone who doesn't see your love
Those of us who have been neglected and abuse at the hands of the ones we loved and were supposed to be protected by try so fucking hard in our adult lives to give everyone we meet the love and support we never had no matter how much it hurts us in the end. We just don't want anyone to feel what we have or do feel. It hurts us at our core to see someone hurting so we are there for everyone like we hoped and prayed someone would be for us.......
I am so incredibly sorry to read this, and it resonates deeply. The scares run so incredibly deep don't they... It isn't your responsibility to heal a parent, or keep peace in your family. That belongs to the parents. You never to deserved to be put in that role. I hope you find your own peace, with your own chosen family, and begin to understand how loveable you you are, and that you don't have to "work" to be loved. xx
honestly, sometimes you've got to learn when to just let go. and i say that as someone who spent the better part of my adulthood chasing after scraps of affection from my parents and having to mourn the fact that i'd never have the mom or dad that other people had. but if you just keep pouring more and more of yourself into a relationship that's totally one sided, at a certain point, you have to ask yourself hard questions, like is it worth it. and if it's not, if you're getting nothing back except pain, then it might be time to let go. i know how hard it is, but i also know that i feel freer and lighter than ever, now that i've made my peace with being an emotional orphan. because now i know it's not my fault. i tried. i did everything i could. i tried so hard to make them hear me. but i finally realized that my parents' failure to listen was tHEIR failure, not mine. i didn't deserve to be ignored, cast aside, or treated like i didn't matter. its what happened, but none of it was on ME. and realizing that helped me so much. it also helped me see that i deserved better. that i deserved to be getting what i was giving, because i'm WORTH the love and attention. and if they can't see that, then they're the ones missing out, not me
Girl (not to assume gender), you gotta give that shit up. You're wasting love, effort, and attention on people who do not deserve it in the least. That's like pouring liquid gold down into a dried up old well that hasn't worked in years. Save all that for people who will love you as much as you love them. Life is too short to waste that on abusive alkie low-lives.
Robin hold on 🩵 new year is almost here. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and I am so so sorry. But there is hope of healing - sending love. I hope you have support 🙏🏼
I’m in tears. I grew up in a very abusive home and my abuser to this day refuses to admit she even did anything wrong… keeping this trauma to myself is KILLING me. This song helped me release this pain. I love your music. Can’t wait till you’re a huge success and I can say I was here when you only had 20k subs 😂🎉🖤 you’re helping people with your music what an incredible accomplishment 🖤🥹
I relate to this so much with my situation with my mother. I just went no contact with her almost 8 months ago and it still hurts so much. I know she’ll never apologize for all the pain she put me through and she’s painted me as the villain to everyone around her. This song is helping me heal 🖤
Have only just had the courage to listen to this song in full. I spent years in therapy not understanding why i just couldn't bring myself to let go of the anger and let it damage me so much. I needed that anger to get myself free. I needed it to get me where i needed to be. And now ive freed myself, and proved to myself that i can live out his worst fears... that i can survive without him; i can finally work on forgiveness. The space the anger and fear and loneliness lived is now full of love for my little one, and admiration for my partner, and determination to prove im the one to end the generational trauma
@@tlrsmom in all honesty I didn't even realise I'd released it until he tried to get back in touch and I sat back and looked at my little family and realised that he'd played a huge part in how I grew up and in my mental health and how I saw myself - but that was it. It wasn't the anger that was driving me anymore; it was love. Love for my partner who supported me through everything and love for my mum and my best friend and especially my little one. I didn't turn into who I'd dreamed of being, or who I was terrified of being, but the person I wished I'd had as a child. One day you'll get there I promise. You'll wake up and realise that you're free. In my mind it's not bravery or resilience, it's just finding peace after chaos. And i promise you, at some point you will find that peace too
Not me crying because I feel it so much. I will wait for my father to apologise in all eternity but I hope that I will be deep enough into recovery one day that I will be able to forgive him for everything he has done. Thank you so much for this song ❤️
this song made me cry . WOW . I felt every single note of this. I don't know you but I feel proud of you. My dad was not an easy man, he caused pain and he passed a few years ago . I have been working on forgiving him and I think I am almost there, though the apology and all I needed from him I will not get . Your song has inspired me to write a poem giving myself the apology I won't receive. 🥰💚❤
Thank you for sharing your pain, your heart and creating this beautiful song and hits so incredibly deep. I know I'm not the only one, but I NEEDED this song at this time in my life. My abusive father is dying. He was still so horrible during my last visit. The last several months I've been coming to terms with the fact that I'll never get an apology from him. I have to focus on healing myself regarding of what he does. Thank you ❤ And I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better.
I'm so glad I found this exactly when I needed to. ❤ My estranged sibling made contact with me and my mom for the first time in 6 years. Unfortunately it spiraled me and made me realize due to their mental health I will never receive an apology, but I forgave them a long time ago.
Thank you for writing this ❤️ 💜 forever healing from narcissistic mom, these kinds of songs have helped me and saved me my whole life. Thank you Thank you
Rory, I will say it over and over, your voice, singing and your songs are on another level that every artist should look up to. You are simply amazing, you have a fan for life.
I have never had a song I connect with on such a deep level. Thank you for for putting such deep emotions within your song and connecting with us in way I never thought possible ❤
Real tears, real wounds and a real heartfelt hug at the end. You get this all the time, but your music truly is something special that resonates deeply.
watching it a second time and crying my eyes out again. Got my own personal tragic story matching your lyrics so much. I know from experience how things like that really feel and being almost 54 by now, I carry such things for so many many years and it does NOT heal the slightest bit. I hope for you the music made it all better to cope n deal with it n to make it hurt less.
This os the most healing song ive heard in forever. I first heard it on a day i knew my dad planned to talk to me and fully blame me for all of our problems again and demand i do various things to make up for it. I am working on leaving and the moment i am gone, i look forward to being able to let go and forgive without havingbthe trauma continuously reintroduced into my life. I am so grateful for my fiance who has sat beside me throughout my healing journey and i look forward to a future where we heal and grow together. ❤
I’ve watched your videos on adhd with your husband for years. Enjoyed the cute little skits. And always I see how loved you are in your hurt. I see a woman healing from everyone that hurt her through education of those who love her. I found out you have a musical career like 15 minutes ago, bought all the songs I could based on one snippet from Instagram. I’m not disappointed as this is the first song of yours I hear all the way through. I will never receive an apology from my dad for all the trauma he has caused me and continues to cause me. Neither will my sister for her second hand and now first hand trauma. It’s so nice to feel that I’m not alone. I’ve been trying to follow your path of healing through education of my loved ones, but it’s not always easy and they don’t always listen or follow through. I need to write all the apologies I will never be given. For her. For that little girl inside me that just wants to feel loved and worthwhile. Thank you. So much. For everything you do. For sharing who you are with the world. In the least creepy way I can say it, we love you, Rory. And I hope to keep watching you grow and heal, leading the way for us to follow.
Ahhh... you got me, RORY! I'm sold! Let me put you up as my new YT vocal mentor! I feel every vibe of each cord, every word, all the pain, all the sounds, and the whole story-I've been there for 30 years of my life! You are an amazing artist! I'm glad I discovered your music!!!!!! ADHD or NOT YOU ROCK!!!!! Thank you for being YOU!!!! x
Mine claim they didn't do anything wrong. I don't think I'll get a real apology. All their apologies include "I'm sorry that you feel that way but we never did anything to you." They did a lot. Probably so much that they've forgotten what they did or they just don't want to be asked why they did it. I'm angry and I'm allowed to be, but I forgave them...for myself not for them
It's heart-breaking to see so many comments with people feeling similar. I can't identify directly, but I wanted to let you know that it is not you, it is them, there is nothing you did wrong and it's their loss.
Wow, this song is so so so powerful, I’m in tears, I have a good relationship with my father, but it’s your pain I felt, your anger, I can’t imagine having a father like that, this song also makes me think of my mom and her relationship with her father…
That's what finally made me cry 🥲 All i have is my husband & new son, I'm No Contact with my entire family of origin. Definitely see myself reflected in the song but especially the last scene 😭 Sending you a big, comforting hug!! 🫂❤❤❤
I’m currently mourning the bond lost in my younger brother. It used to be so easy to forgive & move on. But he feeds on everyone’s love & joy; giving nothing back. It’s crazy to see how quickly we ebbed to nothing. Just shows how much of our relationship was just me forming those connections.
You are sooo strong for singing about this! I have never thought about writing myself the apology, but maybe I should. Maybe I should also tell me parents they’re forgiven too. I hope you now feel love by your family you have now, you deserve it
Thank you so much for your music. I'm pretty sure this isn't about this but it resonates as the daughter of an abusive narcissistic mother. The daughter in me just wants her mom, for mama to just call me and say sorry for everything she did so I can forgive her and have a hug. I want that hug almost as much as I want my next breath. But then I see my daughter and realize how easy it is to not hurt her, to not cut her with my words or bruise her with my hands. So I think I will always deal with that stupid little internal war of the daughter who just wants to forgive her mother and a mother who can't because abuse is a choice.
This song speaks to my inner child and just left me let go of the pain that little guy went through. Yeah, my family loves me and never knew they hurt me but there pain there all the same, let alone letting my inner self be ok and heal for once he diserves that
This hit hard I've thought my mother was on my side when I was a child and experience sexual abuse and then right after I'd turn 18, going back to living with my mom. She was a narcissist and the case narrative I read and the things my family said what shes done was true. There so much more, but I've always ask my self if I'll ever get an apology and here we are ❤ ❤❤I love that you wrote this
I am very happy I found this, it was at the right time. I've been so angry at my parent's for things that I know now weren't their choice/things they wanted. I wont ever get those apologies, they have both passed. I'm now having to learn to let go of that anger and forgive them and myself. This really helps ❤.
I can't help but tear up when I hear this. I know our stories are different, but you're able to capture those feelings in an incredible way. Thank you for sharing your story.
I cant even count how many times ive listened to this. And every time i get goosebumps and cry. Resonates so deeply for me. Being brought up by a narcissist and then finally finding my bio dad who ghosts me has been a hard journey and your music has always helped me. There are not many people in my life that understand my childhood or even adulthood issues. I feel like these songs are a friend that understand me completely and its so healing ❤ Im sorry you went through all this too
Thank you Rory, for sharing your story in songs with us! I decided to make your beautiful music part of my healing journey. I don't really have a connection to my dad who left when I was like 9. I guess I was "only" emotional neglected but man it still hurts. Last year I tried to talk to my dad about what he had done to me...but he couldn't/ wouldn't talk about it. Life is hard when you feel like you're not important (enough). Still struggle to this day to connect with others... Your songs help a lot!! Finally someone who understands my feelings on a different level. Wish you all the best!! ❤
Holy FUCK… I came across this randomly on RUclips shorts and I am so obsessed. God this is so incredibly relatable. You’re incredible. Thank you… I’m obsessed 🖤
This is absolutely beautiful. My estranged dad passed away in April and I still haven’t come to terms with the fact that I will never hear the words I wanted so badly!
Thank you for sharing your pain with this world. Your words resonate deeply in my soul, and unfortunately, I understand this pain all too well. But we made it, survived, and are still here, living, healing, and helping others on their journey. You are a blessing. Thank you from my soul to yours. ❤
As always telling my story in a song that resonates so well, I can’t say the last line about already being forgiven is quite something I’m ready to say, but I’m working on releasing the anger and letting go, but I’ve learnt forgiveness is for my own peace and not theirs and only destroys me. Sadly I just lost my nanna who was hurt by this person and it stirred up some bad feelings in the grieving process, my nanna was the mother to me my own could not be due to her own mental illness and unable to apologise for anything and my grandad who has been a dad to me also is so hurt by his own daughter we are both practising forgiveness to save our own heartaches ❤
Just lost my dad tonight how ever.. darkness is turning to light! Gone through so much since before and after found your music and it has helped me through alot wheb i need and wanna thank You so so much for it and never stop reaching those who hurt and help more then you will know!! Keep the amazing music Rory!! Thank You
What Fathers do to thier daughters. My dad lost my respect long ago. The emotional abuse was a lot and it gave me so much depression and PTSD. Yet i still wait for an apology for hurting my mother for driving my brothers away for keeping me caged in a constant cycle of love bombing with no way to actually please him. This song digs deep into my soul and resonates with the traumatic childhood i lived. Thank you for this song
Видеоклипы![RØRY - ALTERNATIVE [lyric video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PJkehURJ-Y0/mqdefault.jpg)
![RØRY - ALTERNATIVE [lyric video]](/img/tr.png)
![ADHD TikTok stars Roxanne Emery & Richard Pink [ADHD Love] join Prof. Nancy Doyle | Jeremy Vine On 5](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xhPzbEUAY_s/mqdefault.jpg)
VERSE 1
I know its unexpected
Just give me a second
I need to sorry for the things I did to you
When you were younger
To you and your mother
If only I’d have know back then the damage it would do
PRE
I’ve watched you fight with addiction
and struggle with commitment
Couldn’t help but think of you as a
thorn in my side
Withdrew my affection to teach you a lesson
oh, what a waste of our time
CHORUS
But there’s no knock on my door
There’s no please can we talk
No sorry for all of the pain that I caused
We’re not sat in my kitchen
with quiet forgiveness
I thought you would find your way here but you didn’t
I’ll write myself the apology I’ll never receive
VERSE 2
Too young at eleven to learn of deception
Standing on the doorstep you were screaming out my name
The day I got married I know you were angry
But that’s a conversation I’m not brave enough to face
So I kept you at a distance
Watched you try to fix it
See the pain written on your face it reminds me of her
Its hard remember all our years together
And I hate that it hurts
CHORUS
But there’s no knock on my door
There’s no please can we talk
No sorry for all of the pain that I caused
We’re not sat in my kitchen
with quiet forgiveness
I thought you would find your way here but you didn’t
I’ll write myself the apology I’ll never receive
OUTRO
I can’t keep on waiting
For you to say sorry
All of the anger it’s poisoned body
If you you ever listen to this song I’ve written
I want you to know you’re already forgiven
Your music is absolutely other-wordly and so so so relatable.
This❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ hit deep
Ahhh switch it to Father and you’ve nailed my life.
Holy cow!!! This almost describes how I found out about my biological father at 11 years old. And he never actually accepted me as his daughter in anyway; even to his death in Aug. 2020. I met him once at 18 yrs old. 😢
Sat here listening to this on repeat, bawling my eyes out for both parents I'll never hear apologies from. Great advice to write that apology myself. I'm still working through the pain, not quite ready for the forgiveness, but this song helps. Found you from your ADHD content, found your music and was amazed.
The end of this song breaks me. That moment you are done and your family rush in to comfort you. The most heartwarming thing ever xxx
"I can't keep on waiting for you to say sorry, all of the anger it poisoned my body" just hits hard
Me too
so so hard...
Probably the realest line in The whole song.
Honestly this line did something to me
as a daughter who has a narcissistic father this song hits hard and hits home because I will never get the apology from him!!! thank you for writing this song !!!!!
I understand this and know you are not alone.
We both want an apology, but will never get one.
I feel this. My mother is a narcissist. Has been my whole life. She's said sorry but I can tell it's crocodile tears. I'm 21tomorrow and she's still the same. One day I'll leave tho. And even tho it will break my inner child I have to do it. I'm gonna do it for myself.
@@elizabethhinklehinkle5393that's the thing its hard trust me. I'm 32 years old and I had to walk away from my dad when i was 29 years old. It broke my inner child but it's made me see that my dad isn't the father or could be the father I wanted from him. I hope you are okay and happy 21st birthday :) :)
@@Sophw32202
Thank you. I'm having a good birthday.😁 👍😎👍
My mom is the narcissist. I need to write myself the apology I won't receive. Tired of feeling worthless because the person who supposed to love me deemed it so.
Rory never misses. The start of her solo stuff started off super strong and continues to get even better. These super sad songs are the absolute best.
Thank you, really appreciate this x
Whqt band was she part of?
@@kathrynstewart8412 She used to feature vocals for a lot of EDM songs
@@its_r_o_r_ymasterpiece
I held it together pretty well up until the 1:50 mark...I literally felt that vocal pitch change in my fucking soul and could not stop crying afterwards. Beautiful lyrics, beautiful song, and a beautiful artist
Absolutely beautiful!! Thank you for writing and releasing this to help so many of us who are trying to heal from the toxic places we came from. Completely crying listening to this, Thank-you 💖
Thank you so much for the kindness, sending love to you xx
So we’ll written and definitively what I needed xx
@@its_r_o_r_y amazing voice
Exactly this. It’s like a tap straight to my heart and all these tears keep flooding out. ❤
This resonates with me so much. I hope he hearsthis
Omg your family at the end 😢😢💔 So glad you finally found happiness with them. One of my absolute favourites because the saddest ones always are. Beautiful song and this video is perfect with Rich and your step daughter running in ❤❤ xxx
i couldn't possibly explain how much this song means to me. but as someone who's had to make my peace with the fact that i'll never get that apology from either of my abusive parents, i feel this song right down into my soul.
thank you. not just for writing this, but being brave enough to share your pain in your music. i know that's probably not easy, but you're helping more people than you could ever know
Me too, love. You're not alone! 💛 We have everything we need :)
This stopped me dead last night. We may not need the same apology, but we certainly need a very similar one. Family tree finally helped me open up to the truth, and this new beautifully captivating song has opened the truth a little deeper. Your honesty has finally helped me start writing the book I've buried deep inside my pain for years.
Roxanne, I'm so sorry you feel pain so profound that it touches such deep pain within others.
You are incredibly brave. And beautiful and I thank you so so much.❤x
when you become a parent, its like reliving all of that trauma again. but this time its different. its even more heartbreaking. thank you for this beautiful song. its already changed my world. thank you.
I found this song through tiktok a couple of months ago and i wanted to be the end of the song saying 'your are already forgiven" i am now at that point after losing my dad on June 26 2024. this has been my favorite song and a play it on repeat. I listened to it the last day I went to see him before he died after not seeing him for two years. this is my comfort song right now it says all that i can't.
@@lulusplayhouse9757 sending so much love. I am so so sorry for all of the pain that you went through, that was never ever yours to deal with. Losing him must have been so hard and confusing and I am so grateful you could find some comfort in this song.
Was not expecting to cry 40 seconds in but here we are. I jus wish this song was longer
Cannot thank you enough for this. Started today crying because my dad doesn't text me back when I check on him or ever call to see how I'm doing. Growing up with two alcoholic and violently abusive parents was difficult. But what's most unbearable is being an adult now and still trying harder then they ever did to bring peace to our family. I see you and love it 🥰 you deserve an apology 💚 🤗
And so do you I understand the alcoholic abuse my mother did to me made me always try to be more for everyone and I never had a chance to talk about it to my mom she passed away on Thanksgiving alone and I was never going to be able to get a apology but you don't let your efforts make you feel less than your brighter and bolder and more precious then anyone who doesn't see your love
Those of us who have been neglected and abuse at the hands of the ones we loved and were supposed to be protected by try so fucking hard in our adult lives to give everyone we meet the love and support we never had no matter how much it hurts us in the end. We just don't want anyone to feel what we have or do feel. It hurts us at our core to see someone hurting so we are there for everyone like we hoped and prayed someone would be for us.......
I am so incredibly sorry to read this, and it resonates deeply. The scares run so incredibly deep don't they... It isn't your responsibility to heal a parent, or keep peace in your family. That belongs to the parents. You never to deserved to be put in that role. I hope you find your own peace, with your own chosen family, and begin to understand how loveable you you are, and that you don't have to "work" to be loved. xx
honestly, sometimes you've got to learn when to just let go.
and i say that as someone who spent the better part of my adulthood chasing after scraps of affection from my parents and having to mourn the fact that i'd never have the mom or dad that other people had.
but if you just keep pouring more and more of yourself into a relationship that's totally one sided, at a certain point, you have to ask yourself hard questions, like is it worth it. and if it's not, if you're getting nothing back except pain, then it might be time to let go. i know how hard it is, but i also know that i feel freer and lighter than ever, now that i've made my peace with being an emotional orphan.
because now i know it's not my fault. i tried. i did everything i could. i tried so hard to make them hear me. but i finally realized that my parents' failure to listen was tHEIR failure, not mine. i didn't deserve to be ignored, cast aside, or treated like i didn't matter. its what happened, but none of it was on ME. and realizing that helped me so much. it also helped me see that i deserved better. that i deserved to be getting what i was giving, because i'm WORTH the love and attention. and if they can't see that, then they're the ones missing out, not me
Girl (not to assume gender), you gotta give that shit up. You're wasting love, effort, and attention on people who do not deserve it in the least. That's like pouring liquid gold down into a dried up old well that hasn't worked in years. Save all that for people who will love you as much as you love them. Life is too short to waste that on abusive alkie low-lives.
This song hits me like a truck no matter how many times I listen to it, or scream it in my car
This song has spurred more healing in me than anything any family member or even friend has caused. I’m bawling but it’s cathartic and I’m so grateful
Your song saves my life alomst daily. Im barely hanging on but your voice and this song help me through the tears. Thank you for making this song. ❤
Robin hold on 🩵 new year is almost here. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and I am so so sorry. But there is hope of healing - sending love. I hope you have support 🙏🏼
I’m in tears. I grew up in a very abusive home and my abuser to this day refuses to admit she even did anything wrong… keeping this trauma to myself is KILLING me. This song helped me release this pain. I love your music. Can’t wait till you’re a huge success and I can say I was here when you only had 20k subs 😂🎉🖤 you’re helping people with your music what an incredible accomplishment 🖤🥹
I relate to this so much with my situation with my mother. I just went no contact with her almost 8 months ago and it still hurts so much. I know she’ll never apologize for all the pain she put me through and she’s painted me as the villain to everyone around her. This song is helping me heal 🖤
Words cannot describe how much i needed this to express how im feeling about my mother
The end just broke me. I'm so happy you had your family on set with you
But the part where Rich and the little one come in hot with the dopamine hit at the end sent me sobbing... omg.
Have only just had the courage to listen to this song in full. I spent years in therapy not understanding why i just couldn't bring myself to let go of the anger and let it damage me so much. I needed that anger to get myself free. I needed it to get me where i needed to be. And now ive freed myself, and proved to myself that i can live out his worst fears... that i can survive without him; i can finally work on forgiveness. The space the anger and fear and loneliness lived is now full of love for my little one, and admiration for my partner, and determination to prove im the one to end the generational trauma
So brave of you to release all of that anger. I wish I was able to do so.
@@tlrsmom in all honesty I didn't even realise I'd released it until he tried to get back in touch and I sat back and looked at my little family and realised that he'd played a huge part in how I grew up and in my mental health and how I saw myself - but that was it. It wasn't the anger that was driving me anymore; it was love. Love for my partner who supported me through everything and love for my mum and my best friend and especially my little one. I didn't turn into who I'd dreamed of being, or who I was terrified of being, but the person I wished I'd had as a child. One day you'll get there I promise. You'll wake up and realise that you're free. In my mind it's not bravery or resilience, it's just finding peace after chaos. And i promise you, at some point you will find that peace too
Not me crying because I feel it so much. I will wait for my father to apologise in all eternity but I hope that I will be deep enough into recovery one day that I will be able to forgive him for everything he has done. Thank you so much for this song ❤️
Honestly every song by Rory hits right to the soul for me.
this song made me cry . WOW . I felt every single note of this. I don't know you but I feel proud of you. My dad was not an easy man, he caused pain and he passed a few years ago . I have been working on forgiving him and I think I am almost there, though the apology and all I needed from him I will not get . Your song has inspired me to write a poem giving myself the apology I won't receive. 🥰💚❤
I felt this.
So nice to see at the end how loved and supported you are now 🥺🖤
You know, as a teenager I’ve listened to music. As an adult I’m understanding it.
I don't connect to many songs, but I heard a small clip and came here to hear this in full.
Beautiful voice, and I really felt this song xx
ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR SONGS RORY... YOU DESERVE MORE NOTICE.. EVERY SONG YOU MAKE IS A MASTERPIECE
Thank you for sharing your pain, your heart and creating this beautiful song and hits so incredibly deep. I know I'm not the only one, but I NEEDED this song at this time in my life. My abusive father is dying. He was still so horrible during my last visit. The last several months I've been coming to terms with the fact that I'll never get an apology from him. I have to focus on healing myself regarding of what he does. Thank you ❤ And I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better.
I'm sorry that you're going through that, sounds to me like you deserve so much better too x
I am blown away by how amazing this song is and her voice! I found her originally through the adhd reels on facebook. Damn. I wish you all the best.
Thank you so much from those of us who could never truly tell our parents how we really feel 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ its hard to feel this way
I'm so glad I found this exactly when I needed to. ❤
My estranged sibling made contact with me and my mom for the first time in 6 years. Unfortunately it spiraled me and made me realize due to their mental health I will never receive an apology, but I forgave them a long time ago.
This song hits right in the heart. thank you for the song
I know I'm not the only one bawling my eyes out...
Thank you for writing this ❤️ 💜 forever healing from narcissistic mom, these kinds of songs have helped me and saved me my whole life. Thank you Thank you
Rory, I will say it over and over, your voice, singing and your songs are on another level that every artist should look up to. You are simply amazing, you have a fan for life.
So beautiful, the music, the beat, the lyrics, the backing track.. the voice... That voice.. so ethereal .. thank you xx
Gods it's literally the last line, always gets us crying.
I held it together until the end when you try not to cry and your family comes in.
I have never had a song I connect with on such a deep level.
Thank you for for putting such deep emotions within your song and connecting with us in way I never thought possible ❤
Real tears, real wounds and a real heartfelt hug at the end.
You get this all the time, but your music truly is something special that resonates deeply.
watching it a second time and crying my eyes out again.
Got my own personal tragic story matching your lyrics so much.
I know from experience how things like that really feel and being almost 54 by now, I carry such things for so many many years and it does NOT heal the slightest bit.
I hope for you the music made it all better to cope n deal with it n to make it hurt less.
This os the most healing song ive heard in forever. I first heard it on a day i knew my dad planned to talk to me and fully blame me for all of our problems again and demand i do various things to make up for it.
I am working on leaving and the moment i am gone, i look forward to being able to let go and forgive without havingbthe trauma continuously reintroduced into my life.
I am so grateful for my fiance who has sat beside me throughout my healing journey and i look forward to a future where we heal and grow together. ❤
I’ve watched your videos on adhd with your husband for years. Enjoyed the cute little skits. And always I see how loved you are in your hurt. I see a woman healing from everyone that hurt her through education of those who love her. I found out you have a musical career like 15 minutes ago, bought all the songs I could based on one snippet from Instagram. I’m not disappointed as this is the first song of yours I hear all the way through.
I will never receive an apology from my dad for all the trauma he has caused me and continues to cause me. Neither will my sister for her second hand and now first hand trauma. It’s so nice to feel that I’m not alone. I’ve been trying to follow your path of healing through education of my loved ones, but it’s not always easy and they don’t always listen or follow through.
I need to write all the apologies I will never be given. For her. For that little girl inside me that just wants to feel loved and worthwhile.
Thank you. So much. For everything you do. For sharing who you are with the world. In the least creepy way I can say it, we love you, Rory. And I hope to keep watching you grow and heal, leading the way for us to follow.
Ahhh... you got me, RORY! I'm sold! Let me put you up as my new YT vocal mentor! I feel every vibe of each cord, every word, all the pain, all the sounds, and the whole story-I've been there for 30 years of my life! You are an amazing artist! I'm glad I discovered your music!!!!!! ADHD or NOT YOU ROCK!!!!! Thank you for being YOU!!!! x
All I ever wanted was a sober apology. I never received that before they passed from kidney failure.
Mine claim they didn't do anything wrong. I don't think I'll get a real apology. All their apologies include "I'm sorry that you feel that way but we never did anything to you." They did a lot. Probably so much that they've forgotten what they did or they just don't want to be asked why they did it. I'm angry and I'm allowed to be, but I forgave them...for myself not for them
I didn't realise how hard that would hit me. It's going to take me a bit to stop crying.
Rory your songs are just so amazing! Every one has made me cry, but not out of sadness, just the fact someone else UNDERSTANDS ❤❤❤
The ending is heartbreaking. I’m sitting on the tube crying and trying to hide my tears before someone sees. 💔
It's heart-breaking to see so many comments with people feeling similar. I can't identify directly, but I wanted to let you know that it is not you, it is them, there is nothing you did wrong and it's their loss.
Wow, this song is so so so powerful, I’m in tears, I have a good relationship with my father, but it’s your pain I felt, your anger, I can’t imagine having a father like that, this song also makes me think of my mom and her relationship with her father…
The Rhyme of the chorus is Epic
WOW!! 😮😮😮 So glad you were hugged at the end!! Now I need one!! Lol! Very powerful indeed!!
That's what finally made me cry 🥲 All i have is my husband & new son, I'm No Contact with my entire family of origin. Definitely see myself reflected in the song but especially the last scene 😭 Sending you a big, comforting hug!! 🫂❤❤❤
I've listened to this on repeat for nearly an hour now 💀🥺❤️
Rory and this song helped me with my estrangement from my mother. Thank you for helping me get through it
I wasn’t expecting to cry less than a minute in, literally spoke words about how I’ve felt
Listening to all of your songs has been healing me but this is my absolute favourite. I hav a mother wound but it still applies.
Love the song lyrics and the hug at the end brought tears to my eyes.
what a beautiful and heartfelt song. It made me think of old family wounds.
You are extremely brave and talented!
This song made me tear up. Exactly how i feel with my Dad too ❤
This is so personal to you and so many of us, thank you. Music is healing
I’m currently mourning the bond lost in my younger brother. It used to be so easy to forgive & move on. But he feeds on everyone’s love & joy; giving nothing back. It’s crazy to see how quickly we ebbed to nothing. Just shows how much of our relationship was just me forming those connections.
This is helping the awful break up I’m going through right now . Word for word.
This song is both painful and beautiful! Hits so close to home
You are sooo strong for singing about this! I have never thought about writing myself the apology, but maybe I should. Maybe I should also tell me parents they’re forgiven too. I hope you now feel love by your family you have now, you deserve it
Beautifully written and perfectly executed. I absolutely loved this.
This is beautifully written ❤ made me cry 😢
Floods of tears are flowing from my eyes - you’re speaking to every damaged and hurt child - I love you for this ❤
Thank you so much for your music. I'm pretty sure this isn't about this but it resonates as the daughter of an abusive narcissistic mother. The daughter in me just wants her mom, for mama to just call me and say sorry for everything she did so I can forgive her and have a hug. I want that hug almost as much as I want my next breath. But then I see my daughter and realize how easy it is to not hurt her, to not cut her with my words or bruise her with my hands. So I think I will always deal with that stupid little internal war of the daughter who just wants to forgive her mother and a mother who can't because abuse is a choice.
That voice man is absolutely unreal gets ye in the feels every time
I cried and then sent this video to my daughter. The pain her father caused breaks my heart
True! I can't find the right words other than TRUE & THANK YOU!!!! ❤️🧡
This song speaks to my inner child and just left me let go of the pain that little guy went through. Yeah, my family loves me and never knew they hurt me but there pain there all the same, let alone letting my inner self be ok and heal for once he diserves that
amazing as always! healing us all one song at a time
This song really connects with me due to my traumas. Thank you so much for helping us!
I already knew this song was going to touch me. But that last like broke me man. I hope you have healed. And I wish you happiness in your life. ❤
This hit hard I've thought my mother was on my side when I was a child and experience sexual abuse and then right after I'd turn 18, going back to living with my mom. She was a narcissist and the case narrative I read and the things my family said what shes done was true. There so much more, but I've always ask my self if I'll ever get an apology and here we are ❤ ❤❤I love that you wrote this
I am very happy I found this, it was at the right time. I've been so angry at my parent's for things that I know now weren't their choice/things they wanted. I wont ever get those apologies, they have both passed. I'm now having to learn to let go of that anger and forgive them and myself. This really helps ❤.
This song has given me the words I have needed to show my husband. Thank you
This song breaks me. She deserves so much more😢
I can't help but tear up when I hear this. I know our stories are different, but you're able to capture those feelings in an incredible way. Thank you for sharing your story.
I cant even count how many times ive listened to this. And every time i get goosebumps and cry. Resonates so deeply for me. Being brought up by a narcissist and then finally finding my bio dad who ghosts me has been a hard journey and your music has always helped me. There are not many people in my life that understand my childhood or even adulthood issues. I feel like these songs are a friend that understand me completely and its so healing ❤
Im sorry you went through all this too
Thank you Rory, for sharing your story in songs with us! I decided to make your beautiful music part of my healing journey.
I don't really have a connection to my dad who left when I was like 9. I guess I was "only" emotional neglected but man it still hurts. Last year I tried to talk to my dad about what he had done to me...but he couldn't/ wouldn't talk about it. Life is hard when you feel like you're not important (enough). Still struggle to this day to connect with others...
Your songs help a lot!! Finally someone who understands my feelings on a different level.
Wish you all the best!! ❤
Holy FUCK… I came across this randomly on RUclips shorts and I am so obsessed. God this is so incredibly relatable. You’re incredible. Thank you… I’m obsessed 🖤
Thank you so much 🩵 really happy you found the music x
God I love your storytelling songs❤
Yessssss
This song was emotionally satisfying.. It gave me heartbreak, strength, acceptance then finally closure.
“All the anger has poisoned my body” had me bawling it cut deep but it’s true 😪
This is absolutely beautiful. My estranged dad passed away in April and I still haven’t come to terms with the fact that I will never hear the words I wanted so badly!
If only knew how your speaking the exact words for many! Without us having to say a word we just put this on and we are in symphony with you!
Bloody hell this song pulls at my soul .. wasn't expecting that ❤
And so my inner child started healing here❤
Thank you for sharing your pain with this world. Your words resonate deeply in my soul, and unfortunately, I understand this pain all too well. But we made it, survived, and are still here, living, healing, and helping others on their journey. You are a blessing. Thank you from my soul to yours. ❤
This song has helped me heal my inner child. Thank you ❤
As always telling my story in a song that resonates so well, I can’t say the last line about already being forgiven is quite something I’m ready to say, but I’m working on releasing the anger and letting go, but I’ve learnt forgiveness is for my own peace and not theirs and only destroys me. Sadly I just lost my nanna who was hurt by this person and it stirred up some bad feelings in the grieving process, my nanna was the mother to me my own could not be due to her own mental illness and unable to apologise for anything and my grandad who has been a dad to me also is so hurt by his own daughter we are both practising forgiveness to save our own heartaches ❤
Just lost my dad tonight how ever.. darkness is turning to light!
Gone through so much since before and after found your music and it has helped me through alot wheb i need and wanna thank You so so much for it and never stop reaching those who hurt and help more then you will know!! Keep the amazing music Rory!! Thank You
What Fathers do to thier daughters. My dad lost my respect long ago. The emotional abuse was a lot and it gave me so much depression and PTSD. Yet i still wait for an apology for hurting my mother for driving my brothers away for keeping me caged in a constant cycle of love bombing with no way to actually please him. This song digs deep into my soul and resonates with the traumatic childhood i lived.
Thank you for this song
rory is an amazing lyricist
I started tearing up! This is beautiful!