I just got home after 10 days in the hospital with viral meningitis. While I was in the hospital, at the height of my despair, I listened to your viral meningitis review again. It made me feel less alone and was strangely comforting to hear someone else accurately describe my pain. Thank you for putting something that breaks language into words. I hope you don’t feel alone in your pain now.
I'm glad you're home. Recovery can be sssslllloooowwwwww, but I hope it's a clear path for you. Thanks for letting my little essay accompany you through that horror. -John
“It didn’t help with the pain, but it helped.” As someone who is going through a rough time mentally, this is so real. I’m so grateful to my friends and the people around me who take the time to listen to my pain. They can’t fix it and the pain doesn’t leave when they listen. But it helps. P.S. John, look at you learning new editing skills!! I’m so proud!
Thank you for being here and sharing with us. May better mental times be headed your way. (and until then, I'm glad you're talking to people about it and that they're listening. That's really wonderful.)
@@untappedinkwell This message made me smile. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I'm making it through this weird storm with a lot of humble sailors by my side. And I'm grateful I've gotten to a point where I feel comfortable speaking with people. That wasn't always the case. Sending so much love your way! I hope you're doing well on this lovely Tuesday😘
The stages of grief are the same as the stages of learning, and include the emotionally expressive ("anger") stage, where one is trying to connect with another around some (positive or negative) surprise at an unexpected/unwanted state. The more effectively one can fully express that surprise to others, the sooner that stage will be complete. (Moving on then involves trying to get back to the earlier state before the surprise happened using familiar solutions (bargaining/negotiation), and when that inevitably fails in some noteworthy way, because life never really goes backwards, the depression/meditation stage arises to allow one to rest and refocus on what's really important about our original goals, and what we might need to start working towards those goals given our new understanding of how reality works. And finally, we try to reconnect with others, but this time with a request for those things we believe will help us do whatever that meaningful/awesome goal happens to be.)
"It's cold, it's been cold forever, and it will never not be cold. Back to you in the studio" is like, weirdly poetic. But if I learned something from you recently, John, it's that just because it sounds good doesn't mean it's true. Warm, light-soaked days are coming.
"Destruction is often fast, loud, and dramatic, whereas reparative work tends to be slow and quiet and unspectacular." is such a valuable thing for me. Thank you for reminding me of it John! A broken heart hurts, and then suddenly one day you realize that you hadn't thought of that person for a couple hours of that day. A physical injury hurts and then one day you realize you hadn't even thought about its pain as it had subsided or disappeared. Destruction grabs my attention, Improvement I fail to realize until I've been experiencing it awhile!
I know what you mean! I had had a long day and snapped at a friend. John's parting words about kindness were exactly what I needed to hear. Don't forget to be kind! Don't forget to be awesome! 💛
"The idea that I'm merely a burden implies that a person needing care makes them less valuable, which again I just don't believe" Actually brought tears to my eyes. I _really_ struggle with not wanting to trouble people with my problems be they physical, mental, or emotional. I do not ask for help unless I absolutely require it. Thanks for putting that particular string of words together, Mr. Green. I don't know if I ever would've.
"That didn't really help with the pain, but it did help." I've been thinking about this a lot lately. All the joy and love does not make the suffering okay, but somehow it makes us okay.
Back in 2006 or so when the Carter Center was working on eliminating guinea worm, Jimmy Carter gave a talk I attended about the work and the suffering his organization was working to end. The photos were pretty heartbreaking; it was a nasty parasite. During q+a someone asked how he faced such suffering first hand and not despair and he replied, "oh, I despair all the time, but the work is too important to let despair stop us".
The Format is the most human thing to happen to John's videos which for many years have already felt like some of the most human content on RUclips. It feels like wandering around your house, padding after a loved one thinking out loud. It feels like relationship. It feels like inside a heart. Thanks, John ☀️
Considering the kind of people both of these brothers turned out to be and how much hope they inspire in the world, I think the Green parents deserve extra congratulations and thanks.
@@GinsuChikara I understand. I'm sure any good parent won't raise their kids with expectations of anything in return, least of all credit. That's what makes them worthy of it in the end. Too many people's potentials get squandered sadly because of bad parenting. If you've raised a well adjusted, well loved child, regardless of how successful they are you've made the world a better place.
“If you look around seeking justification for despair, you will find it” - YES, it’s so true. As a therapist I find it hard to explain that sometimes because when we’re feeling despair it’s hard to see things differently. And we as a society don’t do great at not swing to the toxic positivity side of things due to our discomfort with despair. It’s a puzzling yet important work to step out of our confirmation bias about despair.
It feels like a much more profound way of expressing the power of emotional appraisal. I can relate to the idea of feeling more hopeless when I think my hopelessness is somehow correct.
Thank you for also pointing out the "we ... don't do great at not swing to the toxic positivity side of things". I believe, as John said, "mere anything won't suffice". Honestly, I know I will get tired from wearing rose-colored glasses 100% of the time, I appreciate some pessimism instead.
Positivity feels like it’s just confirmation bias too though. And between negativity and positivity, they’re both incomplete pictures of life, but it really feels to me like negativity is more complete than positivity
My therapist used to call it a bit of a filter. Andrew Solomon (who wrote the phenomenal "The Noonday Demon") says of depression: "You don't think in depression that you've put on a gray veil and are seeing the world through the haze of a bad mood. You think that the veil has been taken away, the veil of happiness, and that now you're seeing truly." ...which is sometimes why I find the despair of depression so powerful and insidious...because I actually sort of mistake my incapacitating sadness as "depressive realism".
@@GabrielPettier I think that's the perfect way to experience poetry: carefully curated and presented in perfect cadence to fit the context, ultimately engendering its meaning. You need to be in the right mood to be able to grasp the hidden world behind the words. But how else would you know what the right mood is, if not for someone like John making us glide into it effortlessly? I guess what I'm trying to say is best expressed with a little poem of my own spontaneous creation: _Everyone_ _needs a John._
@@lonestarr1490 The best art is art that involves other art. A poem itself is okay, but a RUclips micro-essay might be the right context to make it perfect.
Thank you, I am doing that now. Since my back DID hurt most of the last two months, the fact that I wasn´t doing that spontaneously is an example of the tendency to focus on whatever is currently a problem that can really led to a warped (dispairing) view of life. So really, thanks!
Hm, that might actually be a genuinely helpful thing for me to do on a daily basis. I mean not exactly right now, because my back does actually hurt, but let's see... my arms, eyeballs, right leg and front of my torso are all currently pain-free, so that's good.
"I am hiding behind the plant-- I don't know why but this actually hurts less than regular sitting." The video was generally profound, but for some reason, this was my stand-out line. Maybe just because I love sitting on the floor, or because I, too, curl up in whatever position my back happens to be least angry with that day. Maybe just because it's a mood
I also find slouching against a wall helpful for back pain. Not really an orthopedist or anything so I don't know why, but it does seem to make it less wretched.
Probably because pulling your knees up to your chest stretches your lower back and being propped against the wall lets you do that without requiring your back to put in any work balancing/stabilizing you while you do it? Just a guess from one back pain sufferer to another.
I'm cutting this line at "I'm hiding behind the plant - I don't know why, but this actually hurts less" and applying it wildly to everything. Gonna go hide behind a plant now.😉
“The idea that I’m merely a burden implies that a person needing care makes them less valuable, which again I just don’t believe” I’ve been struggling with this for a while, thanks for the wonderful video as always John
He also described some ways to move yourself away from them. Looking for those small moments of human kindness, considering the positive impact of causes and efforts, even reading a Philip Larkin poem - all of these are things you can choose to do, right now, to combat those symptoms that threaten to overwhelm and smother you. Maybe you can't right now. And that's okay. It's okay to not be okay. When you can, though, consider those choices. Choose what might work for you. And try it. It might just be your way out of that dark forest. I believe that you can do it.
Hope exists in the "and yet" of life, no matter how small. Try and live there, even if you can only manage the micro! Eventually, the micro can come to grow~ I'm rooting for you, and I'm proud of you!
@@_Squiddy there is no "and yet", only "and". Confusion and conflict exist. No point denying they do because we don't want them to. They are what they are. They will be what they will be. Cognitive Concordance - is a thing
I was crying alone in my apartment, asking myself when the pain of grief will end, feeling like it never will. Decided to youtube scroll to distract myself and instead found this video immediately in my watch later queue. I'm so glad that I did. Thanks John, I needed to hear all of this.
It's really difficult sometimes but you're not alone and everybody feels the fear of living and existence and death and sometimes it can cloud over your idea of life but it's okay to be scared 🫂 you're not the only one who is dying and you certainly won't be the last and I know that doesn't really make it any less scary but at least you're not alone. I often walk around crying about the thought of existence but then I don't really want to spend my existence doing that, but I'm not going to shame myself for it it's all part of the experience but I don't want to 'fall into the pit' of despair. I hope my little random internet stranger ramble was interesting enough to read and think about 😅
Decades later there are echoes of Larkin in a line in the best film of 2022 that still humbles and moves me: “All I do know is that we have to be kind, especially when we don’t know what’s going on.”
'he believed me' As someone who has struggled with chronic pain, this hit home. I'm sorry you are experiencing pain. At times it can feel hopeless, I found myself fearing future plans because I worried I will be in pain. Crazy that a future potential pain was manifesting in the present as anxiety and tension, a positive feedback for more pain. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It's very seductive to lay into the warm bath of despair, the longer you stay paralyzed in that bath the harder it is to get up.
Never underestimate the power of empathetic listening and validating. There are so many times where when people are sharing their problems with me and I say something like "I'm so sorry, that is so hard, your feelings are valid" and they almost always say an emphatic "THANK YOU!" like nobody else has said that to them and it's exactly what they needed to hear.
I'm currently in hospital abroad with a broken leg. It's really scary and lonely. But this, the kindness freinds, families and strangers has made it all so much easier despite my leg still hurting and not knowing when I can get home. Thankyou John for being a positive voice in my life for nearly a decade now.
I’m so sorry, I understand that fear and lonliness. I hope you’re receiving good care, and are able to talk to loved ones on the phone. I will keep you in my thoughts and I wish you the best recovery. 💛 Hopefully you won’t be abroad alone for too long.
Sitting between portraits of Woody Guthrie and MF DOOM somehow encapsulates where I am in my life right now. That image alone made my day lol. Thank you, John.
"Awesome. Well that guy's bringing good energy to the party" is just beautiful. The whole video is wonderful, but that little bit of levity was great. So was the John talking to John segment. Loving the creativity of the format today.
I moved out of state for the first time to follow my dreams, and money is low. The state I moved to is seeing a record-breaking amount of rain in nearly half a century, and the toll the drive and rain took on my car has taken away the only job I managed to secure coming out here. The cost to fix is nearly half of the money I have. The rain has also put a moldy hole in my and only my bedroom in the entire apartment block. I’ve been forced to live on my roommates’ couch for the last month, and the constant rain makes it impossible to fix. And on top of that there’s a good chance I won’t see a credit put on my account. A friend’s girlfriend fed me paranoia about a job I felt good about (her intentions were pure), and that’s not forgetting the immense culture shock. The last three months have been horrible and I’ve recently fallen into absolute despair. A friend is helping me through it and today I just kinda cried, more relieved that I wasn’t a burden or a disappointment asking for help than anything. So this video came to me at a needed time. Thanks.
@@Nicole-zy4vb for decades it was the best kept secret (from me) that there are these cheap "paint a painting workshops" where someone helps you basically to paint something nice. also John had a video a while back about going out and buying cheap art. ... of course, having money helps with almost everything!
i had a doctor listen to me this week about my pain and instead of judgement that i get from medical professionals, this one listened and although the reason for seeing the doctor was for something specific and not my pain, this doctor went out of their way to ensure i was ok. i cried.
All I want to say is to give a shout-out to a favorite channel of mine: *Beau of the Fifth Column.* He makes videos about current events, politics, social issues, and goes into analysis about it. He makes a lot of videos, but he also sometimes goes into deeper, more big picture topics such as the nature of hope and despair. And one of the lines he repeats most often is: "On a long enough timeline, we win." When you look at history, overall that's true, and I think it's just really helpful to remember that.
As someone who is feeling physical pain, emotional/mental pain, and “welp, gotta go to work and be a cog in the machine again” pain seemingly all at once today… thank you John.
Jon, I think this is just an unbelievable synthesis of philosophy, literature, art and defiant compassion. I'm a psychologist and work with clients some of whom are are the doorstep of some of the deepest despair a human can experience. Futility runs amok in those sessions and I've long held a belief that that futility, while heartbreaking, is ultimately not well reasoned. Yet, dismantling the logical structure of that despair and offering some antagonistic position has been exceptionally difficult. I think this piece of art is about the best counterargument I've come across to the arguments I so often battle in sessions. Of course, I can't just show them the video and facilitate an immediate change. The work with these clients is extremely slow and plodding. Having some formal way of exposing the futility of the argument on futility buoys me while I do that work. Since you've posted this, I've thought about and watched it many times. I know it doesn't always convince my clients, but it does serve as a source of great perspective and hopefulness for me. Which helps me feel stronger and more present in my work for them.
To all the nerdfighters who are in pain right now: I hear you, it sucks so much, your pain is valid, I hope it will pass soon 💚. Still reading this? So, after 3 years of successfully avoiding COVID, my son brought it back home from school (everyone just has a "regular" cold now, so of course no need for tests, everyone sends their kids to school even if the kiddo is sick 🤦♀️). He never got sick, just had a fun week at home, but passed it on to me. This morning I THOUGHT I felt pretty bad, but that was before the big bad MIGRAINE hit me 😩. Me of this morning had no idea.
I cried three separate times during a 4-minute video. I'm saving this video in my 'LIFE' playlist as this so beautifully puts in words the reason and the way I want to live my life. Thank you for everything John ♥️
As someone with severe, constant, chronic physical pain and treatment-resistant depression: Thank you. I will send this to the people in my family who haven't been able to wrap their heads around my condition yet.
Shoot, that sucks. My partner has severe ME/CFS and I have severe depression. I'm not sure if it is treatment resistant because, thus far, I've been struggling to get it treated. So "get well soon" seems like an empty platitude, not to mention a frustrating thing to hear when there's no visible pathway for that to actually happen, so I'll just say this - you're not the only one, and even if loads of people don't understand, some do. I'd like to know more about your condition(s), if you're willing to share.
I've been dealing with similar issues and thinking about this subject and... I think for many people leaving isn't bad or a tragedy and they shouldn't be prevented from choosing not to suffer. It's just the same status as never having been conceived, after all, and we don't think the never-conceived have been subjected to evil. It seems to me like the ideological opposition to it is based in the cultural and subjective (in it being an instinctively upsetting thought to many people), not in the inherent and objective. So I just wanted to say - if you wanna exit, that's ok, that's good, consent is no-s too. (In this case, definitely research methods thoroughly from many and reliable sources (including peer reviewed research) because most laypeople are misinformed and misestimate things, resulting in the majority of attempts being unsuccessful and/or needlessly unpleasant and injurious. Beyond obvious search phrases I'd also strongly recommend ones like "right to die methods".) If this choice and your absence is more likely than not to have a severe decades-long impact on others' lives that would exceed your own suffering's prognosis (please research and consider thoroughly to be sure) or if you don't want it (fair!) I wish you the best either way! 💙 (And I'm so sorry if I sent you something triggering/upsetting - if I did, I hope you talk to someone or look up available helplines (they can be many and varied) or try online support communities (definitely many and varied + more available).)
Thank you. I had the worst dissassociative episode of my life last night and I needed this badly. I still don't have a "reason to be", but I have understanding that I'm not alone and that the pain is real.
As someone who’s now past her due date and also riding the “I don’t know why, but it hurts less when I sit this way” train, this video comes at the perfect time. I’m sorry your back hurts too, John.
Don't freak out if you don't have love at first sight for new person. As long as new and young people are treated with respect, consideration, and thoughtfulness - the parenting is Good
As someone who is young and very recently has begun the struggle against the despair of back issues, this video could not have come at a more relevant time for me. It may not help either of us with our pain, but it does help. Thanks again.
One thing i love about vlogbrothers is the content has really aged with the audience. 15 years ago i felt videos were better when done with random things on people’s heads. Now i think videos are better when i see good interior design.
I have this video, then On Hope, then the Panera Phenomenon (in that order) in a Playlist to watch when the mental illness is running rampant. Something about the despair, hope, and realized hope is really satisfying
My chronic pain is especially bad today, so the first 5 seconds of this really hit. Thanks for making me feel seen, John, and I hope your back feels better soon ❤️
Chronic pain has been seeing glimpses of the lime light recently. A PC in the newest campaign of Critical Role experiences chronic pain and how it molds their reaction to the world.
Thank you for this, John. I recently got called a gaslighter for refusing to give in to despair and wanting to acknowledge that there is good in the world and progress is being made even if some things seem to be backsliding right now. I was so hurt that I left that space. I really appreciate this confirmation that it's okay to try to see and acknowledge the good.
Yeah, it's a shame when the only response people can think of to toxic positivity or head-in-the-sand apathy is toxic negativity. A lot of things are absolutely awful, but not all of them, and there's still hope. Also as someone who's been gaslit, I f*cking hate that that term has become so diluted that people will use it to mean "espouses an opinion I disagree with".
@@connorpeppermint8635 Even your (now deleted or hidden) examples don't really qualify on their own. Lies are just one part of gaslighting. Gaslighting is trying to convince someone to doubt their own thinking. For example, my ex (who had become physically abusive) saying that me refusing to give them my new address was evidence of paranoia. That's gaslighting rather than simple lying, because they weren't just trying to convince me I was safe with them, but that there was something wrong with my mind causing me to think I wasn't.
John your editing skills are significantly improving, the abundance of Johns move was “chef’s kiss” I’m so proud, as always an amazing video thanks for this
Man, I feel ya. In terms of how easy it sometimes feels it would be to just give up, and also in the inherent value to be found in searching for reasons not to do so. I often struggle with such feelings, and usually come to a place where I can accept the inevitability of oblivion, I can acknowledge that some day I won't be able to escape it, but can also accept the way that certainty defines the value of the good I can find in being alive and conscious in the meantime. If I'd never existed at all, sure, I'd never have had to endure the pain and sadness that are such significant aspects of life. And yet, I also would never have had the chance to appreciate the beauty and happiness of life, or the pure, inconceivable unlikelihood of having come to exist at all. Imagine everything that had to happen in just this particular way, starting at the beginning of the universe, extending through the vastness of space and down into the ineffable chaos of the quantum realm, in order for matter and energy to interact in just the exact way necessary for me to have been conceived, born, grown into sentience, and had the precise combination of genes, environment, and experiences that brought me to this exact moment, in which I am able to appreciate enormity of the odds against it having happened just as it has. It's hard not to find value in that coincidence, or to not feel bad about failing, for even a second, to appreciate having overcome those odds. I like the way Neutral Milk Hotel expresses these concepts and feelings, in the song In The Aeroplane Over The Sea, especially in the last line: Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all/
Ok, I haven't even watched the video yet but seeing two of you in the thumbnail is blowing my mind. Masterful editing! Edit: The whole video is masterful. I adore "the format." Thank you, John.
There's a quote I like in the face of despair, even though I don't remember where I got it from: "What if, what if? Good Lord, man, what if everything turns out all right and you live happily ever after? Did you ever think of that?"
3:13 sitting on the ground next to a painting of a guy crouched down next to you, talking about hope and quiet human moments of love and support, was just a lovely visual. The format is really bringing it with the lovely visual metaphors ❤
I can't really put into words the impact that both of you have had on my life. I don't have a concrete, identifiable story about how watching your videos showed me something I had never seen before or saved me from my own despair. I don't even know if your videos have made me less or more prone to that despair. All I know is that you have undoubtedly changed my life and my philosophy for the better. So often, you have revealed to me both the depth of the problems of the world and the ways in which we as a species are capable of approaching them. You are the living proof that Hobbes was wrong. You have shown the world that it is possible to run a successful company and then just give literally all of the money to people who need it more than you. Because of what your videos have taught me, I am almost certainly angrier and sadder about the world than I would be otherwise, but I am also certainly more hopeful and less jaded about humanity and our ability to fix those problems. This comment still doesn't fully encompass how meaningful what you do is for me, but I wanted to try to let you know, anyway. To relate it back to the video, speech is action, and in making this video you are participating in that collective action to improve the world by fighting the allure of despair for so many of us. So thank you.
This reminds me of that quote of yours, that we don't live in the grand scheme of things. I remember feeling hopeless and that all that I did was eventually doing to be forgotten, and then I read that passage while listening to the sound of birds, and I understood that. What we do today truly is important.
1:46 "Despair is simple, whereas consciousness is multitudinous. Mere despair will not suffice in response to life because mere anything won’t suffice, including mere optimism or mere outrage" is just articulated so well. i will cherish this video for a long, long, time.
"And he believed me" well that just hit me right in the grew-up-with-chronic-pain feels. So glad you have someone who knows to just be there and believe you.
I spent the day overwhelmed by so much pain from so many sources. I kept trying to distract myself, but pain *is* insistent-it fills every empty space, and crowds out anything standing in its way of being felt. A few hours ago, I decided to lean in, feel it all-where it lived in my body, its shape and weight, it’s texture and character. I think we tend to fear that allowing ourselves to truly feel our pain will inevitably cause us to slip into despair, but more often than not I’ve found that the more intimately acquainted I am with my pain, the more prepared I am for the slow, quiet, unspectacular repair to come. Thank you for this. I really needed to hear it today.
As a person who has struggled with depression for many years, this resonates pretty deeply with me and is honestly the kind of logical talking through of harmful impulses that often helps me to healthily turn away from them. But the truth is that I really commented to call out that incredible MF DOOM painting! It's fun to find independent connections between stuff you appreciate.
Just quite something to see this dramatic and remarkably successful tonal shift in videos after so many years. John you never sit still and we are rewarded because of it. Thank you.
John, why do you INSIST on making me cry! (This is me responding to "The idea that I'm a burden implies that a person needing care is less valuable, which I just don't believe" part of the video. I haven't even gotten to the end yet!!) Thanks John :')
As someone with chronic back pain and issues, I completely feel your, well, pain. The pain overwhelms everything and makes it so hard to just exist. It drains joy from any activity, and exacerbates anything difficult or stressful. And when you said your friend believed you, that means so much more than people realize. Back pain and chronic pain are invisible, and people frequently doubt the severity or that it exists at all. After 20 years of problems, I finally had to have a back surgery, and it was a relief (physically, after the surgery), and to have, like, PROOF that I have actually been in this level of pain this long. I wasn't imagining it or making it up to get out of things, and it wasn't going to be cured by yoga or oils or herbs or whatever magic thing people thought I somehow hadn't heard of. I hope your back gets better soon, John. I know how debilitating even minor issues can be. Take care!
“If you look around seeking justification for dispair...you will find it". A reminder to seek the good and beauty in the crazy, complex and wonderful world you find yourself in.
Hi John, I'm sorry to hear you are a pain. This stranger doesn't know exactly how you feel, but I can imagine it, and I only wish you might find some relief. I find myself crying often to your videos. Don't worry, they're good tears. I sit down and let myself cry, and I feel better afterwards. I wondered for a while why your words made me cry when I don't often do so in my daily life. Maybe I coincidentally listen to you during a vulnerable moment. Maybe it's just your soothing middle aged voice that gives wise dad vibes. But I think, really, you are good at putting to words the things which touch people's hearts. I want to be like you, John-a simple but thoughtful person, living a mundane and quiet life, among others, who is just kind. Just kind. That word means so much to me, for just four letters, and there are so few who can be described with it. But when you manage to explain what it really means to be conscious and human-to be kind-I feel so relieved it moves me to tears. Simply being decent is all that life should ask of us. I think you do a good job of it. I will try it too.
The dying monk in Brothers Karamazov speaks about going looking for despair in the world as one form of finding the devil, especially when we're well-intentioned and despairing at how we can't overcome with our goodness the endless onslaught of malicious actions taking place on the world. Rarely do we think of anxiety and depression as sins, and I'm not suggesting we do or that we should blame ourselves for them, only recognizing that it's a damn good way for "evil" to sneak silently into our hearts when there's plenty of space for hope and peace in there if we're only aware of what seductions we're allowing.
I'm a high school teacher and a couple weeks ago I lost a colleague to an extremely aggressive pancreatic cancer. He died fifteen days after diagnosis. The cancer was so vicious that the doctors didn't even have a chance to attempt treatment-it was all pain management. Reflecting on his death in light of this video reminded me that there is a profound difference between despair and sorrow. It would have been so easy to despair-tragedy striking like lightning, blazingly fast and seemingly at random. What's the point if it could happen to any of us just like that? And then I went to his funeral, to which HUNDREDS of former and current students, colleagues, friends, and family gathered together to celebrate his life and legacy. We were all filled with sorrow, but out of that sorrow was born hope. Despair has no children, but sorrow can bring forth life.
These videos really help me slow down and think. Feels like a glass of water on a warm day. Thank you ❤ I’m sorry you are in so much pain John, it sucks. Thank you for being here with us❤️
Man, I felt this video in my back. Sorry yours is “out” right now. It is the worst and I appreciate you still taking the time to make a video. Don’t forget to take a sick day when you need to!❤
I've listened to this 3 times. I am currently in my house, with no one around to support me, with a broken tibia and struggling with feeling like a burden if I have to ask anyone for anything. And I hadnt really thought about it, but despair is exactly the feeling. And this video is incredibly calming and helps me feel less alone
@@anusha8085 according to my doctor, the fracture has healed and im on the road to recovery :) I'm having to do some pretty unpleasant exercises and stretches, but it's so much better. im in a walking boot now, and taking care of myself has gotten a lot easier. I've also made the decision to start looking for a better living environment, and remove myself from other situations that are not emotionally safe. I still feel the loneliness, and I've lost friends through this process, but having a plan and goals that are achievable has made the last couple weeks so much more bearable. Thank you for caring
“how existential could you get?”
John: yes.
+++ it’s John’s brand at this point 😂
++++ lmao
++ “that guy’s bringing good energy to the party” so real
This comment made my day.
+++
I just got home after 10 days in the hospital with viral meningitis. While I was in the hospital, at the height of my despair, I listened to your viral meningitis review again. It made me feel less alone and was strangely comforting to hear someone else accurately describe my pain. Thank you for putting something that breaks language into words. I hope you don’t feel alone in your pain now.
I'm glad you're home. Recovery can be sssslllloooowwwwww, but I hope it's a clear path for you. Thanks for letting my little essay accompany you through that horror. -John
@@vlogbrothers Thanks again for everything.
feel better Austin!
I hope your recovery goes well Austin!
I hope your recovery is as smooth, quick and painless as possible, Austin!
Is it just me, or are these “John walking around with a long-corded mic” just absolutely amazing?
They are. I think it started as a joke, but now John is in full stride with them. They're great imho
Not just you. I'm loving it. It's the perfect "taking it down a notch" this year needs.
I've seen it referred to as "The Format"
it's called The Format and yes, we all love it
You mean "the format"?
The channel is 16 years old, and John and Hank still find ways to evolve their art.
This is one of my ways to reject the seduction of despair.
They are very talented.
“It didn’t help with the pain, but it helped.”
As someone who is going through a rough time mentally, this is so real. I’m so grateful to my friends and the people around me who take the time to listen to my pain. They can’t fix it and the pain doesn’t leave when they listen. But it helps.
P.S. John, look at you learning new editing skills!! I’m so proud!
Thank you for being here and sharing with us. May better mental times be headed your way. (and until then, I'm glad you're talking to people about it and that they're listening. That's really wonderful.)
@@untappedinkwell This message made me smile. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I'm making it through this weird storm with a lot of humble sailors by my side. And I'm grateful I've gotten to a point where I feel comfortable speaking with people. That wasn't always the case. Sending so much love your way! I hope you're doing well on this lovely Tuesday😘
The stages of grief are the same as the stages of learning, and include the emotionally expressive ("anger") stage, where one is trying to connect with another around some (positive or negative) surprise at an unexpected/unwanted state. The more effectively one can fully express that surprise to others, the sooner that stage will be complete.
(Moving on then involves trying to get back to the earlier state before the surprise happened using familiar solutions (bargaining/negotiation), and when that inevitably fails in some noteworthy way, because life never really goes backwards, the depression/meditation stage arises to allow one to rest and refocus on what's really important about our original goals, and what we might need to start working towards those goals given our new understanding of how reality works. And finally, we try to reconnect with others, but this time with a request for those things we believe will help us do whatever that meaningful/awesome goal happens to be.)
Its not just you.
you funny funny funny boys! i find bits of you everywhere! unexpected places too!
As Uncle Iroh taught us: 'If you look for the light you can often find it, but if you look for the dark that is all you will ever see.'
I forget about this. I need to rewatch ATLA now
"It's cold, it's been cold forever, and it will never not be cold. Back to you in the studio" is like, weirdly poetic. But if I learned something from you recently, John, it's that just because it sounds good doesn't mean it's true. Warm, light-soaked days are coming.
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My wife has been saying the same for the past month.
ruclips.net/video/9pVtu2yRz5g/видео.html&feature=shares reminds me of this video
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"Destruction is often fast, loud, and dramatic, whereas reparative work tends to be slow and quiet and unspectacular." is such a valuable thing for me. Thank you for reminding me of it John!
A broken heart hurts, and then suddenly one day you realize that you hadn't thought of that person for a couple hours of that day. A physical injury hurts and then one day you realize you hadn't even thought about its pain as it had subsided or disappeared.
Destruction grabs my attention, Improvement I fail to realize until I've been experiencing it awhile!
Somehow John is always coming in saying exactly what I need to hear. John, I’m sorry you’re in pain too, thank you for being here ❤
I know what you mean!
I had had a long day and snapped at a friend.
John's parting words about kindness were exactly what I needed to hear.
Don't forget to be kind! Don't forget to be awesome! 💛
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ps. again. not on my watch. look out for that ACE
what suit sir. i consider STASIS
"The idea that I'm merely a burden implies that a person needing care makes them less valuable, which again I just don't believe"
Actually brought tears to my eyes. I _really_ struggle with not wanting to trouble people with my problems be they physical, mental, or emotional. I do not ask for help unless I absolutely require it. Thanks for putting that particular string of words together, Mr. Green. I don't know if I ever would've.
I’m convinced that John’s microphone cord is endless.
We're going to see a reunion video at hanks but it's technically going to just be a john video with with the cable running back to Indianapolis.
@@JonNargodian omg yes. ++
real. that’s why I love everything about this video, and the abundance of johns move was “chef’s kiss”
@@abdullahenani9670 Also "chef's kiss" is calling it the abundance of johns move. Brilliant.
@@JonNargodian absolutely!!! That's gotta be about 30ft, right? (disclaimer: I have no idea how much 30 ft is in metrical units, could be 2,500km lol)
"That didn't really help with the pain, but it did help." I've been thinking about this a lot lately. All the joy and love does not make the suffering okay, but somehow it makes us okay.
It at least sustains us enough to bear the suffering a bit longer.
Sometimes we just want someone to put a band aid on the wound, instead of ourselves.
Back in 2006 or so when the Carter Center was working on eliminating guinea worm, Jimmy Carter gave a talk I attended about the work and the suffering his organization was working to end. The photos were pretty heartbreaking; it was a nasty parasite. During q+a someone asked how he faced such suffering first hand and not despair and he replied, "oh, I despair all the time, but the work is too important to let despair stop us".
I think that's really beautiful and powerful for the days when the despair is too strong. Thank you for sharing it!
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Jimmy Carter is a great example, thanks for sharing about this.
That is BEAUTIFUL.
The Format is the most human thing to happen to John's videos which for many years have already felt like some of the most human content on RUclips. It feels like wandering around your house, padding after a loved one thinking out loud. It feels like relationship. It feels like inside a heart. Thanks, John ☀️
Considering the kind of people both of these brothers turned out to be and how much hope they inspire in the world, I think the Green parents deserve extra congratulations and thanks.
Yes, I think about this often.
These two people have done so much
@@therchas agreed!
As a parent, I would never have the audacity to take credit for what my child went on to do.
@@GinsuChikara I understand. I'm sure any good parent won't raise their kids with expectations of anything in return, least of all credit. That's what makes them worthy of it in the end. Too many people's potentials get squandered sadly because of bad parenting. If you've raised a well adjusted, well loved child, regardless of how successful they are you've made the world a better place.
“If you look around seeking justification for despair, you will find it” - YES, it’s so true. As a therapist I find it hard to explain that sometimes because when we’re feeling despair it’s hard to see things differently. And we as a society don’t do great at not swing to the toxic positivity side of things due to our discomfort with despair. It’s a puzzling yet important work to step out of our confirmation bias about despair.
That’s the line that stuck out for me too… I even said the ending with him.
It feels like a much more profound way of expressing the power of emotional appraisal. I can relate to the idea of feeling more hopeless when I think my hopelessness is somehow correct.
Thank you for also pointing out the "we ... don't do great at not swing to the toxic positivity side of things". I believe, as John said, "mere anything won't suffice". Honestly, I know I will get tired from wearing rose-colored glasses 100% of the time, I appreciate some pessimism instead.
Positivity feels like it’s just confirmation bias too though. And between negativity and positivity, they’re both incomplete pictures of life, but it really feels to me like negativity is more complete than positivity
My therapist used to call it a bit of a filter. Andrew Solomon (who wrote the phenomenal "The Noonday Demon") says of depression:
"You don't think in depression that you've put on a gray veil and are seeing the world through the haze of a bad mood. You think that the veil has been taken away, the veil of happiness, and that now you're seeing truly."
...which is sometimes why I find the despair of depression so powerful and insidious...because I actually sort of mistake my incapacitating sadness as "depressive realism".
Without John I wouldn't normally hear any poetry. Every time John shares some poetry that is meaningful to him my world is better for it. Thank you.
Same, i don't normally go out of my way to hear any, but having it read in context of an idea like this is really great.
+1
I receive a lot of hope and strength from these poets, too: ruclips.net/user/buttonpoetry
@@GabrielPettier I think that's the perfect way to experience poetry: carefully curated and presented in perfect cadence to fit the context, ultimately engendering its meaning. You need to be in the right mood to be able to grasp the hidden world behind the words. But how else would you know what the right mood is, if not for someone like John making us glide into it effortlessly?
I guess what I'm trying to say is best expressed with a little poem of my own spontaneous creation:
_Everyone_
_needs a John._
@@lonestarr1490 The best art is art that involves other art. A poem itself is okay, but a RUclips micro-essay might be the right context to make it perfect.
The Format has become a vehicle for John to be more creative with visual media, it's clear he is loving that, and I'm loving all of it.
For those of us who can, let's take a moment to appreciate our back not being in pain right now.
Agreed. My back does not currently hurt, and I am grateful for that. The cold I suspect is creeping into my sinuses can just get bent.
I’m so happy that y’all are not in pain! /gen
Thank you, I am doing that now.
Since my back DID hurt most of the last two months, the fact that I wasn´t doing that spontaneously is an example of the tendency to focus on whatever is currently a problem that can really led to a warped (dispairing) view of life. So really, thanks!
Hm, that might actually be a genuinely helpful thing for me to do on a daily basis. I mean not exactly right now, because my back does actually hurt, but let's see... my arms, eyeballs, right leg and front of my torso are all currently pain-free, so that's good.
Agree! I’ve experienced lower back pain for years, but I’m so grateful that it’s mild and bearable. Hope John get relief soon.
An exceptionally wise man once said, "Now feels permanent, but it isn't, and mere despair doesn't tell the whole story."
"I am hiding behind the plant-- I don't know why but this actually hurts less than regular sitting."
The video was generally profound, but for some reason, this was my stand-out line. Maybe just because I love sitting on the floor, or because I, too, curl up in whatever position my back happens to be least angry with that day. Maybe just because it's a mood
Or, maybe it's an awesome plant.
Who knows 🙂
I also find slouching against a wall helpful for back pain. Not really an orthopedist or anything so I don't know why, but it does seem to make it less wretched.
I love the juxtaposition of John being so poetic about pain and what we can do about it... then, "hiding behind the plant and I don't know why".
Probably because pulling your knees up to your chest stretches your lower back and being propped against the wall lets you do that without requiring your back to put in any work balancing/stabilizing you while you do it? Just a guess from one back pain sufferer to another.
I'm cutting this line at "I'm hiding behind the plant - I don't know why, but this actually hurts less" and applying it wildly to everything.
Gonna go hide behind a plant now.😉
“The idea that I’m merely a burden implies that a person needing care makes them less valuable, which again I just don’t believe”
I’ve been struggling with this for a while, thanks for the wonderful video as always John
The moment when John Green defines why I give into my depressive and anxious symptoms and shows me a way out.
Yes, but he also explained why you shouldn't
He also described some ways to move yourself away from them. Looking for those small moments of human kindness, considering the positive impact of causes and efforts, even reading a Philip Larkin poem - all of these are things you can choose to do, right now, to combat those symptoms that threaten to overwhelm and smother you.
Maybe you can't right now. And that's okay. It's okay to not be okay.
When you can, though, consider those choices. Choose what might work for you. And try it. It might just be your way out of that dark forest.
I believe that you can do it.
🙂
Hope exists in the "and yet" of life, no matter how small. Try and live there, even if you can only manage the micro! Eventually, the micro can come to grow~
I'm rooting for you, and I'm proud of you!
@@_Squiddy there is no "and yet", only "and".
Confusion and conflict exist. No point denying they do because we don't want them to. They are what they are. They will be what they will be.
Cognitive Concordance - is a thing
I was crying alone in my apartment, asking myself when the pain of grief will end, feeling like it never will. Decided to youtube scroll to distract myself and instead found this video immediately in my watch later queue. I'm so glad that I did. Thanks John, I needed to hear all of this.
It's really difficult sometimes but you're not alone and everybody feels the fear of living and existence and death and sometimes it can cloud over your idea of life but it's okay to be scared 🫂 you're not the only one who is dying and you certainly won't be the last and I know that doesn't really make it any less scary but at least you're not alone. I often walk around crying about the thought of existence but then I don't really want to spend my existence doing that, but I'm not going to shame myself for it it's all part of the experience but I don't want to 'fall into the pit' of despair. I hope my little random internet stranger ramble was interesting enough to read and think about 😅
Decades later there are echoes of Larkin in a line in the best film of 2022 that still humbles and moves me: “All I do know is that we have to be kind, especially when we don’t know what’s going on.”
what film?
@@emmasandstone4754 Everything Everywhere All At Once. Just won seven Oscars this weekend, including Best Picture, completely deserved.
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A thousand times yes.
That's legitimately what my first thought was too
I started crying when he said "and then he listened to me talk about it, and he believed me" thank you for sharing yourself with the world John.
'he believed me'
As someone who has struggled with chronic pain, this hit home. I'm sorry you are experiencing pain. At times it can feel hopeless, I found myself fearing future plans because I worried I will be in pain. Crazy that a future potential pain was manifesting in the present as anxiety and tension, a positive feedback for more pain.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. It's very seductive to lay into the warm bath of despair, the longer you stay paralyzed in that bath the harder it is to get up.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who, upon hearing John say 'the thing about pain', immediately expected him to continue 'it demands to be felt'.
Can we talk about the seductiveness of TB on John's psyche?
lmfao you right he brings it up nonstop
he’s working on a project it’s not just a hobby haha
"Conspicuous consumption"
Probably writing a book featuring it.
@@MrOtistetrax I see what you did there.
I keep coming back to this video when I’m depressed and it helps me gain a better perspective. Thank you
Me too
Never underestimate the power of empathetic listening and validating. There are so many times where when people are sharing their problems with me and I say something like "I'm so sorry, that is so hard, your feelings are valid" and they almost always say an emphatic "THANK YOU!" like nobody else has said that to them and it's exactly what they needed to hear.
I'm currently in hospital abroad with a broken leg. It's really scary and lonely. But this, the kindness freinds, families and strangers has made it all so much easier despite my leg still hurting and not knowing when I can get home. Thankyou John for being a positive voice in my life for nearly a decade now.
Get well soon!! You're never truly alone 💜
I hope you heal fast and that you won't be alone or in the hospital long. Get home safe :)
Hang in there Robin!
hi robin! wishing you the absolute best. here for you always and wishing you a speedy recovery:)❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry, I understand that fear and lonliness. I hope you’re receiving good care, and are able to talk to loved ones on the phone. I will keep you in my thoughts and I wish you the best recovery. 💛 Hopefully you won’t be abroad alone for too long.
Sitting between portraits of Woody Guthrie and MF DOOM somehow encapsulates where I am in my life right now. That image alone made my day lol. Thank you, John.
That long mic cord was the best money you’ve ever spent. It brings new range to your videos.
We must be careful to each other, we must be kind, while there is still time.
John seems like he's going through the Horrors right now... I hope he takes his own words to heart and recovers as swiftly as is feasible.
"Awesome. Well that guy's bringing good energy to the party" is just beautiful. The whole video is wonderful, but that little bit of levity was great. So was the John talking to John segment. Loving the creativity of the format today.
I moved out of state for the first time to follow my dreams, and money is low.
The state I moved to is seeing a record-breaking amount of rain in nearly half a century, and the toll the drive and rain took on my car has taken away the only job I managed to secure coming out here. The cost to fix is nearly half of the money I have.
The rain has also put a moldy hole in my and only my bedroom in the entire apartment block. I’ve been forced to live on my roommates’ couch for the last month, and the constant rain makes it impossible to fix. And on top of that there’s a good chance I won’t see a credit put on my account.
A friend’s girlfriend fed me paranoia about a job I felt good about (her intentions were pure), and that’s not forgetting the immense culture shock.
The last three months have been horrible and I’ve recently fallen into absolute despair. A friend is helping me through it and today I just kinda cried, more relieved that I wasn’t a burden or a disappointment asking for help than anything.
So this video came to me at a needed time. Thanks.
This video is so intense... and all I can focus on is how many cool pieces of art John has in his home
Perks of marrying an art curator
I had NO IDEA there was such a lovely collection.
So many!
@@NannyDiaries23 and having money
@@Nicole-zy4vb for decades it was the best kept secret (from me) that there are these cheap "paint a painting workshops" where someone helps you basically to paint something nice.
also John had a video a while back about going out and buying cheap art.
... of course, having money helps with almost everything!
On 14 March 2023 there was no human alive who needed a vlogbrothers video more than I needed this one.
i had a doctor listen to me this week about my pain and instead of judgement that i get from medical professionals, this one listened and although the reason for seeing the doctor was for something specific and not my pain, this doctor went out of their way to ensure i was ok. i cried.
All I want to say is to give a shout-out to a favorite channel of mine: *Beau of the Fifth Column.* He makes videos about current events, politics, social issues, and goes into analysis about it. He makes a lot of videos, but he also sometimes goes into deeper, more big picture topics such as the nature of hope and despair. And one of the lines he repeats most often is: "On a long enough timeline, we win." When you look at history, overall that's true, and I think it's just really helpful to remember that.
As someone who is feeling physical pain, emotional/mental pain, and “welp, gotta go to work and be a cog in the machine again” pain seemingly all at once today… thank you John.
Just talked with someone having a depressive episode and dumping on me all their negativity, so I really needed this video
oh wow the thumbnail is a masterpiece, John I’m so impressed
The YT algorithm picked it, not me! All credit to the algod. -John
@@vlogbrothers but it’s your editing! you created an abundance of johns. your editing is significantly improving, I’m so proud!
Jon, I think this is just an unbelievable synthesis of philosophy, literature, art and defiant compassion. I'm a psychologist and work with clients some of whom are are the doorstep of some of the deepest despair a human can experience. Futility runs amok in those sessions and I've long held a belief that that futility, while heartbreaking, is ultimately not well reasoned.
Yet, dismantling the logical structure of that despair and offering some antagonistic position has been exceptionally difficult. I think this piece of art is about the best counterargument I've come across to the arguments I so often battle in sessions. Of course, I can't just show them the video and facilitate an immediate change. The work with these clients is extremely slow and plodding.
Having some formal way of exposing the futility of the argument on futility buoys me while I do that work. Since you've posted this, I've thought about and watched it many times. I know it doesn't always convince my clients, but it does serve as a source of great perspective and hopefulness for me. Which helps me feel stronger and more present in my work for them.
Damn, he is improving on perfection by what he does with the format in this video
The weather call out was 👨🍳 perfect
THE FORMAT
Needed to come back here today. I shall be stubbornly hopefull and avoid simple despair
To all the nerdfighters who are in pain right now: I hear you, it sucks so much, your pain is valid, I hope it will pass soon 💚.
Still reading this? So, after 3 years of successfully avoiding COVID, my son brought it back home from school (everyone just has a "regular" cold now, so of course no need for tests, everyone sends their kids to school even if the kiddo is sick 🤦♀️).
He never got sick, just had a fun week at home, but passed it on to me.
This morning I THOUGHT I felt pretty bad, but that was before the big bad MIGRAINE hit me 😩.
Me of this morning had no idea.
I cried three separate times during a 4-minute video. I'm saving this video in my 'LIFE' playlist as this so beautifully puts in words the reason and the way I want to live my life. Thank you for everything John ♥️
As someone with severe, constant, chronic physical pain and treatment-resistant depression: Thank you. I will send this to the people in my family who haven't been able to wrap their heads around my condition yet.
I hope things get better for you soon, friend
Shoot, that sucks. My partner has severe ME/CFS and I have severe depression. I'm not sure if it is treatment resistant because, thus far, I've been struggling to get it treated. So "get well soon" seems like an empty platitude, not to mention a frustrating thing to hear when there's no visible pathway for that to actually happen, so I'll just say this - you're not the only one, and even if loads of people don't understand, some do. I'd like to know more about your condition(s), if you're willing to share.
I've been dealing with similar issues and thinking about this subject and... I think for many people leaving isn't bad or a tragedy and they shouldn't be prevented from choosing not to suffer. It's just the same status as never having been conceived, after all, and we don't think the never-conceived have been subjected to evil. It seems to me like the ideological opposition to it is based in the cultural and subjective (in it being an instinctively upsetting thought to many people), not in the inherent and objective. So I just wanted to say - if you wanna exit, that's ok, that's good, consent is no-s too. (In this case, definitely research methods thoroughly from many and reliable sources (including peer reviewed research) because most laypeople are misinformed and misestimate things, resulting in the majority of attempts being unsuccessful and/or needlessly unpleasant and injurious. Beyond obvious search phrases I'd also strongly recommend ones like "right to die methods".) If this choice and your absence is more likely than not to have a severe decades-long impact on others' lives that would exceed your own suffering's prognosis (please research and consider thoroughly to be sure) or if you don't want it (fair!) I wish you the best either way! 💙
(And I'm so sorry if I sent you something triggering/upsetting - if I did, I hope you talk to someone or look up available helplines (they can be many and varied) or try online support communities (definitely many and varied + more available).)
Thank you. I had the worst dissassociative episode of my life last night and I needed this badly. I still don't have a "reason to be", but I have understanding that I'm not alone and that the pain is real.
Sending strength and hope and kindness your way ❤ I hope you continue to find meaning and peace.
As someone who’s now past her due date and also riding the “I don’t know why, but it hurts less when I sit this way” train, this video comes at the perfect time.
I’m sorry your back hurts too, John.
Soon, when you meet your child for the first time, you’ll feel the opposite of despair, however briefly.
Don't freak out if you don't have love at first sight for new person.
As long as new and young people are treated with respect, consideration, and thoughtfulness - the parenting is Good
Sending good vibes your way ♥️
May your birth be easy and perfect for you both.
As someone who is young and very recently has begun the struggle against the despair of back issues, this video could not have come at a more relevant time for me. It may not help either of us with our pain, but it does help. Thanks again.
One thing i love about vlogbrothers is the content has really aged with the audience. 15 years ago i felt videos were better when done with random things on people’s heads. Now i think videos are better when i see good interior design.
So good, right!
"I'm hiding behind the plant now"
don't know why but is a very cozy mood
My chronic pain kept me from sleep last night and my head and heart have been sick. This video was what I needed. Thank you, John.
Every time you talk about Chris he sounds like such a brilliant friend, and I'm so glad you have someone like that in your life ♥
well that guy's bringing good energy to the party
I have this video, then On Hope, then the Panera Phenomenon (in that order) in a Playlist to watch when the mental illness is running rampant. Something about the despair, hope, and realized hope is really satisfying
My chronic pain is especially bad today, so the first 5 seconds of this really hit. Thanks for making me feel seen, John, and I hope your back feels better soon ❤️
Chronic pain has been seeing glimpses of the lime light recently. A PC in the newest campaign of Critical Role experiences chronic pain and how it molds their reaction to the world.
And, I hope your chronic pain is less bad as your day progresses
Thank you for this, John. I recently got called a gaslighter for refusing to give in to despair and wanting to acknowledge that there is good in the world and progress is being made even if some things seem to be backsliding right now. I was so hurt that I left that space. I really appreciate this confirmation that it's okay to try to see and acknowledge the good.
Yeah, it's a shame when the only response people can think of to toxic positivity or head-in-the-sand apathy is toxic negativity. A lot of things are absolutely awful, but not all of them, and there's still hope. Also as someone who's been gaslit, I f*cking hate that that term has become so diluted that people will use it to mean "espouses an opinion I disagree with".
That's not what gaslighting means lol
Gaslighting would be "climate change isn't real" or "the 2020 election was stolen"
@@connorpeppermint8635 Even your (now deleted or hidden) examples don't really qualify on their own. Lies are just one part of gaslighting. Gaslighting is trying to convince someone to doubt their own thinking. For example, my ex (who had become physically abusive) saying that me refusing to give them my new address was evidence of paranoia. That's gaslighting rather than simple lying, because they weren't just trying to convince me I was safe with them, but that there was something wrong with my mind causing me to think I wasn't.
Thank you for trying to acknowledge the existance of good too! Sorry your space couldn't hear it then.
John your editing skills are significantly improving, the abundance of Johns move was “chef’s kiss” I’m so proud, as always an amazing video thanks for this
I sincerely hope The Format will be a part of the channel forever now
John, I understand this new format may be slightly more stressful in video-creation, but you're killing it. The energy with this format is just SO YOU
This was the PERFECT vlog brothers video to come out on my 35th birthday...happy Pi day everyone
I can’t explain why but this video is very comforting. I feel like it’s just what I needed today.
Man, I feel ya. In terms of how easy it sometimes feels it would be to just give up, and also in the inherent value to be found in searching for reasons not to do so. I often struggle with such feelings, and usually come to a place where I can accept the inevitability of oblivion, I can acknowledge that some day I won't be able to escape it, but can also accept the way that certainty defines the value of the good I can find in being alive and conscious in the meantime. If I'd never existed at all, sure, I'd never have had to endure the pain and sadness that are such significant aspects of life. And yet, I also would never have had the chance to appreciate the beauty and happiness of life, or the pure, inconceivable unlikelihood of having come to exist at all. Imagine everything that had to happen in just this particular way, starting at the beginning of the universe, extending through the vastness of space and down into the ineffable chaos of the quantum realm, in order for matter and energy to interact in just the exact way necessary for me to have been conceived, born, grown into sentience, and had the precise combination of genes, environment, and experiences that brought me to this exact moment, in which I am able to appreciate enormity of the odds against it having happened just as it has. It's hard not to find value in that coincidence, or to not feel bad about failing, for even a second, to appreciate having overcome those odds. I like the way Neutral Milk Hotel expresses these concepts and feelings, in the song In The Aeroplane Over The Sea, especially in the last line:
Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all/
Ok, I haven't even watched the video yet but seeing two of you in the thumbnail is blowing my mind. Masterful editing!
Edit: The whole video is masterful. I adore "the format." Thank you, John.
+++
There's a quote I like in the face of despair, even though I don't remember where I got it from: "What if, what if? Good Lord, man, what if everything turns out all right and you live happily ever after? Did you ever think of that?"
John casually showing of all the amazing art :)
I also noticed that it hurts less, when you hide behind plants
3:13 sitting on the ground next to a painting of a guy crouched down next to you, talking about hope and quiet human moments of love and support, was just a lovely visual. The format is really bringing it with the lovely visual metaphors ❤
That was a painting of MF Doom and I want to know more about it John. It’s a wonderful painting!
I can't really put into words the impact that both of you have had on my life. I don't have a concrete, identifiable story about how watching your videos showed me something I had never seen before or saved me from my own despair. I don't even know if your videos have made me less or more prone to that despair. All I know is that you have undoubtedly changed my life and my philosophy for the better. So often, you have revealed to me both the depth of the problems of the world and the ways in which we as a species are capable of approaching them. You are the living proof that Hobbes was wrong. You have shown the world that it is possible to run a successful company and then just give literally all of the money to people who need it more than you. Because of what your videos have taught me, I am almost certainly angrier and sadder about the world than I would be otherwise, but I am also certainly more hopeful and less jaded about humanity and our ability to fix those problems. This comment still doesn't fully encompass how meaningful what you do is for me, but I wanted to try to let you know, anyway.
To relate it back to the video, speech is action, and in making this video you are participating in that collective action to improve the world by fighting the allure of despair for so many of us. So thank you.
I appreciate your tastefully curated despair.
This reminds me of that quote of yours, that we don't live in the grand scheme of things. I remember feeling hopeless and that all that I did was eventually doing to be forgotten, and then I read that passage while listening to the sound of birds, and I understood that.
What we do today truly is important.
That’s one of my favourite quotes of John’s, I go back and rewatch that video often when I feel hopeless.
@@mcgee779 Which video was that? I also would like to rewatch it.
@@anonymeslama3170 it’s called “Against Nihilism”
I hope you enjoy rewatching it too :)
@@mcgee779 Thanks :)
1:46 "Despair is simple, whereas consciousness is multitudinous. Mere despair will not suffice in response to life because mere anything won’t suffice, including mere optimism or mere outrage" is just articulated so well. i will cherish this video for a long, long, time.
an abundance of johns.
I saw what you did there with the background choices. Going from drab and dark to slowly bringing in light, colour, and beauty. Clever. :)
Hey John, Thanks for your many years of bringing good energy to the party. It has meant so much.
+++
"And he believed me" well that just hit me right in the grew-up-with-chronic-pain feels. So glad you have someone who knows to just be there and believe you.
No world in which these videos exist can ever be meaningless. ❤
I spent the day overwhelmed by so much pain from so many sources. I kept trying to distract myself, but pain *is* insistent-it fills every empty space, and crowds out anything standing in its way of being felt. A few hours ago, I decided to lean in, feel it all-where it lived in my body, its shape and weight, it’s texture and character. I think we tend to fear that allowing ourselves to truly feel our pain will inevitably cause us to slip into despair, but more often than not I’ve found that the more intimately acquainted I am with my pain, the more prepared I am for the slow, quiet, unspectacular repair to come.
Thank you for this. I really needed to hear it today.
These new formats of videos give me comfort every day I watch them, they’re very reassuring and informative haha
As a person who has struggled with depression for many years, this resonates pretty deeply with me and is honestly the kind of logical talking through of harmful impulses that often helps me to healthily turn away from them.
But the truth is that I really commented to call out that incredible MF DOOM painting! It's fun to find independent connections between stuff you appreciate.
Just quite something to see this dramatic and remarkably successful tonal shift in videos after so many years. John you never sit still and we are rewarded because of it. Thank you.
John, why do you INSIST on making me cry!
(This is me responding to "The idea that I'm a burden implies that a person needing care is less valuable, which I just don't believe" part of the video. I haven't even gotten to the end yet!!)
Thanks John :')
Chris is a treasure, I miss him from the 100D days
As someone with chronic back pain and issues, I completely feel your, well, pain. The pain overwhelms everything and makes it so hard to just exist. It drains joy from any activity, and exacerbates anything difficult or stressful.
And when you said your friend believed you, that means so much more than people realize. Back pain and chronic pain are invisible, and people frequently doubt the severity or that it exists at all. After 20 years of problems, I finally had to have a back surgery, and it was a relief (physically, after the surgery), and to have, like, PROOF that I have actually been in this level of pain this long. I wasn't imagining it or making it up to get out of things, and it wasn't going to be cured by yoga or oils or herbs or whatever magic thing people thought I somehow hadn't heard of.
I hope your back gets better soon, John. I know how debilitating even minor issues can be. Take care!
I struggle with despair but it always helps me when John speaks on other lenses with which to see the world. What an amazing human.
“If you look around seeking justification for dispair...you will find it". A reminder to seek the good and beauty in the crazy, complex and wonderful world you find yourself in.
Hi John,
I'm sorry to hear you are a pain. This stranger doesn't know exactly how you feel, but I can imagine it, and I only wish you might find some relief.
I find myself crying often to your videos. Don't worry, they're good tears. I sit down and let myself cry, and I feel better afterwards. I wondered for a while why your words made me cry when I don't often do so in my daily life. Maybe I coincidentally listen to you during a vulnerable moment. Maybe it's just your soothing middle aged voice that gives wise dad vibes. But I think, really, you are good at putting to words the things which touch people's hearts.
I want to be like you, John-a simple but thoughtful person, living a mundane and quiet life, among others, who is just kind. Just kind. That word means so much to me, for just four letters, and there are so few who can be described with it. But when you manage to explain what it really means to be conscious and human-to be kind-I feel so relieved it moves me to tears.
Simply being decent is all that life should ask of us. I think you do a good job of it. I will try it too.
The dying monk in Brothers Karamazov speaks about going looking for despair in the world as one form of finding the devil, especially when we're well-intentioned and despairing at how we can't overcome with our goodness the endless onslaught of malicious actions taking place on the world.
Rarely do we think of anxiety and depression as sins, and I'm not suggesting we do or that we should blame ourselves for them, only recognizing that it's a damn good way for "evil" to sneak silently into our hearts when there's plenty of space for hope and peace in there if we're only aware of what seductions we're allowing.
That composed shot in the middle with two Johns was inspired, I hope we continue to see his wisdom duplicated both in effects and in expression
I'm a high school teacher and a couple weeks ago I lost a colleague to an extremely aggressive pancreatic cancer. He died fifteen days after diagnosis. The cancer was so vicious that the doctors didn't even have a chance to attempt treatment-it was all pain management. Reflecting on his death in light of this video reminded me that there is a profound difference between despair and sorrow. It would have been so easy to despair-tragedy striking like lightning, blazingly fast and seemingly at random. What's the point if it could happen to any of us just like that? And then I went to his funeral, to which HUNDREDS of former and current students, colleagues, friends, and family gathered together to celebrate his life and legacy. We were all filled with sorrow, but out of that sorrow was born hope. Despair has no children, but sorrow can bring forth life.
These videos really help me slow down and think. Feels like a glass of water on a warm day. Thank you ❤ I’m sorry you are in so much pain John, it sucks. Thank you for being here with us❤️
Just dropping by to say this resonates with me. Hope your back hurts less soon.
Man, I felt this video in my back. Sorry yours is “out” right now. It is the worst and I appreciate you still taking the time to make a video. Don’t forget to take a sick day when you need to!❤
"the quiet, human moments that we can give each other" is a reason to keep going right there
I've listened to this 3 times. I am currently in my house, with no one around to support me, with a broken tibia and struggling with feeling like a burden if I have to ask anyone for anything. And I hadnt really thought about it, but despair is exactly the feeling. And this video is incredibly calming and helps me feel less alone
Oh no...are you better now? It has been a month. I hope that you are.
@@anusha8085 according to my doctor, the fracture has healed and im on the road to recovery :) I'm having to do some pretty unpleasant exercises and stretches, but it's so much better. im in a walking boot now, and taking care of myself has gotten a lot easier. I've also made the decision to start looking for a better living environment, and remove myself from other situations that are not emotionally safe. I still feel the loneliness, and I've lost friends through this process, but having a plan and goals that are achievable has made the last couple weeks so much more bearable. Thank you for caring
A wise man once said: The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please. Be kind, especially when don't know what's going on.