WARNING! Scammers have been in my comments trying to get people's personal information. I am not running any giveaways right now and I don't use Telegram. We've blocked and reported the ones we've found, but please let us know if any more pop up. Thank you to everyone who gave me a heads up about this!
This was possibly the best, most validating, warm hug-like therapy session I have had in a month. Thank you Hannah for literally EVERYTHING you do for this community on this platform. You are a rare gem.
I worked at Pier 1 Imports in the 90’s. I was a frugal person with a penchant for thrift shops and flea markets so was rarely tempted by the merchandise. However, when I was tempted, I would make it a point to check on the item during my shift. Eventually, I realized that satisfied my desire for the object. Admiring something is usually enough for me, I don’t have to own it. I guess that was my physical version of a wishlist. Your video has reminded me how this tool can be used in other ways. Thank you.
I knit and sew, and I get emails everyday about about gorgeous new yarns and fabrics. And I want it all, every time. It's very much like seeing all the new makeup releases. But what I have finally learned is this: yes, that lovely seafoam gingham I've just learned about and think I cannot live without will be gone for good by the end of the season...BUT, there will always be another beautiful fabric that makes me feel the same way coming next week or next month. Always. I rarely look back at previously coveted items and feel regret at not getting them. Usually, I don't even remember what those things were.
I love this video!!! Not done yet, but had to add something that helped me for high-urgency items that fail “wishlist & wait” (scarcity mindset): I have made myself comfortable with the fact that I am someone who misses out on things. (Hint: we all are, even the highly affluent) None of us have all the experiences, try all the things, or get to be all the people. I focus now on what I DO get to experience and have found richness there, especially in mending, maintaining (cleaning), and making my belongings.
Onto “longevity visualization” and have more thoughts 😂 I adore that you are utilizing imagination for this. I think shopping triggers our creative imagination of fantasizing about our lives, and there is something so incredibly healthy about using our imagination for our normal lives. It’s almost related to mortality meditations in Buddhism.
WAIT WAIT WAIT one more thought: at some point, I realized I was OK with the FOMO of new trendy clothing collections and was not OK with missing out on the lilac bushes blooming every year, or the wild swamp cabbages opening up, or the migrating juncos and red wing blackbirds. It was a huge part of moving back to the countryside to me from the city.
@@alexandrah535 Yes, I totally agree. I’m also not ok with missing out on seeing at least a dozen species of warblers every year during migration, and I’m not willing to miss more than a few of my thousands of daffodils blooming. Those are the things that really make me happy. (I do spend a lot of my disposable income on plants, but they make such a difference in my life, and I like to think that they make a positive contribution to the world.)
so I was in a very unhealthy relationship for over a decade. During that time I had a very serious shopping addiction. I tried so many no buys with no success. I have been separated for a few months now and almost the day I moved out, I stopped compulsive shopping. So it was definitely a much deeper issue.
Wasn’t expecting to be moved by this video but I cried when you spoke about that scarcity mindset and it’s connection to suffering. You have an incredible insight and sensitivity to the human condition Hannah. I have accounts that I watch for entertainment, those that I watch for aesthetics and others for escapism but yours offers all that plus heart and depth that is rare and special and so thoughtful. Thank you for the work you do in this space 🙏🏻😊
I have a little rule for myself that has really saved me and it’s kinda like wishlist and wait but just a little different and it’s just to not buy anything when it’s dark outside. I just feel like I tend to make impulse purchases or bad decisions at night. Saved me tons of money!
Hey hey hey it's 60K!! Also: with your help, I realized that my biggest triggers are COLOR and TEXTURE. I would be seduced in the store, but then disappointed later, mainly because the color didn't stay true after washing. My latest strategy is buying second hand: the clothes are way worn-in already! I mean, duh, but it was your videos that helped me identify my trigger. So grateful!
Oh this is so smart! I usually do his with handbags (because the “investment” would’ve been lost already so I can buy at its true price (what the consumers think it’s actually worth) and that’s saved me ££££
This video really spoke to my heart. I've been a shopaholic for decades. I like to think I'm past it, but I'm not. It just goes from one thing to another. I'm a collector of things I love. I have thousands of dollars of nail polish. I have stacks of bins and boxes of yarn. I have makeup I've never worn. I'm aware im trying to fill a hole, but I can always tell myself, "This one is different. Once you buy this, you won't need anything more for a while." Of course, I always fund something else I need so desperately. My kindle is loaded with over 2000 books (all purchased on sale), I'll never read them all in my lifetime. I've put myself on no buys for kindle, but it only lasts a month or so. Even watching this video, I realized I needed to go on a long-term no buy. But my first thought was, "Right after I load up on some clothes from the thrift store." But that is why I started watching your videos in the first place, to learn to be more deliberate about my fashion choices. To elevate the way I present and carry myself. To go beyond jeans and hoodies and feeling sloppy 99% of the time. To stop the mindset of "I'm not happy at this weight, so I dont deserve to buy items that fit me well" Thank you for your content. You're special and wonderful and really make a difference. ❤
I prayed today for God to help me with my shopaholic problem and here you arrived ! I literally cried my eyes out … in a thank you Jesus way! Your a wee angel from heaven honey ! This is amazing! 😇🦋🙏❤️🥰😘
You’re helping so many people with this, Hannah! You’ve helped me tremendously. Now, when I am confronted with feelings of urgency because of a sale, my mantra is “spending money is not saving money”. It’s the voice of reason! Thank you 😊
One of your no-buy reflection videos struck me 8 months ago. For the first time, I realized that my desire to buy was fueling my fantasy self. That realization has been the answer to struggles and has allowed me to successfully stick to my no-buy. When I first started, I was wishlisting and waiting. It's interesting that for the first couple of months, I was adding makeup to wishlist multiple times a week. Several months later I decided to go through the wishlist and delete everything that I no longer wanted. The list was instantly cut in half. This story continues. Every time I decided to look through it, I'm only interested I'm about half the items. My no-buy has finally allowed me to see past the sales, the words limited edition in bolded letters, the feeling of not being enough, etc. All that is gone. This has been such a life changing experience that I truly don't want to stop. My no-buy will continue on for quite some time, and I'm truly excited to see where I will be a few years from now.
What would be interesting to do is a collab with someone who's gone through body changes, on how to deal with that while keeping oneself within this sort of "calm approach" mindset. I had a baby and during pregnancy, clothing was super easy. I got a few core pieces that I needed to adapt to me and dressed around them. It was this sort of "it's just 3 or 4 months" thinking because I didn't gain much weight until my last trimester and didn't need new clothes until way into pregnancy. But the last trimester was a mess, and, after having a baby, I found myself 20 pounds heavier than I used to be and all of my clothes fit badly. And I found myself in a completely new mindset when it comes to shopping. Not only did I *have* to shop, I also had to shop for a body shape I've never had and didn't know how to dress. I didn't know my style because it was what I liked to wear when I was my normal weight and, as much as I like to tell myself that I am badass enough to wear anything at any weight, I am not badass enough. And I recognized many of the things you talk about. This mentality of "I *need* that because that will make me feel comfortable, while everything else makes me look bad. And I need several of that style because that's the only style I now know how to pull off. I really had lost all of my calm, mostly because I just didn't know how to deal with being overweight. So it's a whole mental chaos, of course. It's not as much about the shopping as it is about the promise of a piece of clothing acting as a patch, making me feel better about the fact that the change back to my normal might be quite slow. At least, I've now started to mostly just get larger items in thrift stores and altering them to fit me in the way that I feel I might like. At least I'm lucky because I can sew and alter but I imagine there are other people out there who struggle with changes to their body that might last for a year or even longer and whose impulse is to buy more and more patches.
Thanks for this video. I have such a hard time with scarcity causing me to purchase things. As a plus-sized person, clothes that I love are scarce. Most of the time, anything worth wearing sells out quickly. So instead of making a wish list and waiting for clothes, I keep a list of wardrobe gaps I want to fill. When something from the list becomes available, then I give myself permission to buy it. I need to come up with a new system for beauty purchases. As a blogger and RUclipsr, my beauty purchases have gotten out of hand. My unrelenting curiosity makes me want to try everything at least once. Now I have a ton of products waiting to be tested and products that have only been used a handful of times. It's really unsustainable in every way.
Thank you for making a coment about scarcity and clothing size. I was thinking about that as well, about how scacity and the size range offered by brands, and the number of items offered in each size, interakt for us who are on the largest or smalest end of the scale.
That opening explanation of how one becomes numb to beautiful things was so amazing and Really Truly spoke to me in a way none of your other talks have. Not that the others weren’t good, this one just really got me. Thank you! I’m an over spender of beautiful things and I am looking to change. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Limited edition and collab palettes were/are such a vice for me. Over the past couple years a lot have come out, some I've bought and regretted, some I've bought and loved. I realized that for me, limited edition is not the true scarcity that I think it is. Color stories can be recreated, and if I'm really missing a color, I can buy a single. For influencer collabs, my affection for the creator isn't a forever thing either. I may stop following them or break away from their content. If I don't truly love the product they worked on, it's just going to become dead weight in my collection. Although I made some purchases I regret, I did ultimately learn from them and I try and remind myself of that too. It's hard to not just feel the guilt sometimes!
I was feeling a bit of anxiety because I saw something I’ve wanted for a long time that got discontinued but was recently restocked ✨fOr a LiMiTeD tImE✨ and I’m currently on a no buy. It took a lot to breathe and say “it’s on the wishlist, if it’s still there at the end of the no buy then I’ll get it if that desire persists this whole time” and honestly your videos really do help with that grounding work. I know the source my anxiety at this point and I’ve done that work, but it’s a bit hard to get back to that calmer headspace in the moment sometimes! Ps. Congrats on 60k!! You deserve it 🎉🍾
i am a huge fan of the wishlist and wait strategy. i was overwhelmed with all of the things i wanted and wrote them down in a notes document, and then write stipulations. let’s say i want a new eyeshadow palette or a new lipgloss. if i want it bad enough after waiting a predetermined amount of time, now i have to use something in my collection, or pan something. sometimes i’ve found that i don’t want to go through the work of doing this, so maybe i don’t want or need an extra palette collecting dust. or i find i really want a new lipgloss, so i spend the time and energy panning a current gloss so i can get a new one. maybe this is a faulty system, but it works for me and my life and my consumption habits. of course i make impulse spending decisions, but i make less of them now because i have this system in place
I also think about how something will fit me down the line. For example will it be too young for me in say 5 years or will it be too sensitive to slight weight changes. Things I didn't used to think about in my 20s but now that I am older I find they have become relevant and essential factors in my decision making.
I just bought randomly a “statement” item , a Miaou corset! They just did a collab with Paloma with extended sizing and I’ve been wanting a corset for a year plus, willing to spend a good penny. Bought it and it just arrived and truly NO REGRETS. That’s a rare occurrence by you talking about spending on beautiful things and it’s sometimes you gotta jump on it even though it seems “irresponsible”
Hi Han! Im actually curious on how this life changes (and money spending) on this new house with new stuff is making you feel, overspending on moving is a real thing, and i remember the no buy year included house and decor items. And as someone whos moving soon again and knows how it goes, im curious of how new furniture is making you feel.
Yes, I second this. I would love to know if there is something you feel strongly that you *need* but you’ve put it off. I’d love to know how that feels? I feel anxious just thinking about it, honestly 😩
I want you to know that you just talked me off the ledge of purchasing an $80 glossier cart. This whole video was like flipping a switch in my brain I didn’t even know existed. Thank you!!
It’s funny you mention this love of beautiful things as a positive quality in a person, because it’s one of the things I love the most about my husband: he has impeccable eye for color, harmony between objects, well stylized clothing, and really, all beautiful things. He grew up in a very dull environment (lol) and maybe that fostered an appreciation for beauty. That, and spending loads of time in antique/vintage shops with his mom (only child). But after meeting my husband, I, too, have gained a much greater appreciation for beautiful things. I don’t always need to buy them, I can look at them and be content. But it’s made me a more joyful person and that’s a good thing!
Thank you for this video! I have recently caved to the desire to buy something I can’t really afford and I was really beating myself up about it( For me this urge to spend is connected with actually experiencing or expecting some money problems. Its like instead of being rational I start believing fanatically in that ‘dress for the job/life you want’ idea. It is some sort of magical thinking - if I let go of this money now with ease I will have more money coming in... Maybe you could explore this fantasy self stuff more? Because i feel like I need to have someone talk about these issues over and over again until I manage to accept them.
Your channel has been such a breath of fresh air. I've considered myself a minimalist for many years, but I'm also an artist, and I didn't know how to reconcile my desire for simplicity with my love of shopping for beautiful things. To find someone who gets it is just SO refreshing. Some of your strategies, such as "waitlist and wait," are things I've been doing on my own for a long time, but I still got a lot out of this video. Thanks for what you do!
I am mostly a lurker here, but I am compelled to comment on how absolutely wonderful this video is. I think about these things *all the time*, and I am so grateful to see that other people are thinking about this issue too, and that you are able to articulate it in such a compelling way for others. You're an absolute gem, Hannah.
Listening to this video shopping my closet realizing I already have 20 pairs of white trousers in EVERY single cut you can imagine . I was ready to go to the thrift shop today hunting for something else! This is so good 😊 thank you. Instantly my mindset changed for abundance !
What a valuable contribution you have made with this video! These are all simple and effective strategies. I would like to add something that I’ve been doing lately. When I find myself wanting, say, a $50 eyeshadow palette, I ask myself if I would rather have the eyeshadow palette (sitting on the cabinet with the rest of my eyeshadow “collection”) OR would I rather add another $50 to my money collection. I think about building my savings or contributing it to an investment or 401K. I also think about how that $50 could grow that way over the years. It could be worth $100 in a few years when the eyeshadow palette would be expired and tossed. Looking at account balances can sometimes fulfill that collecting impulse. You could also think, “would I rather have that eyeshadow palette or one brick in my future dream home?” “Would I rather have that eyeshadow palette or a train ticket between European cities on my dream vacation someday?” I wish I would’ve adopted this mindset a long time ago. Thanks for all you do, Hannah!
I ran out of bronzer about 6 months ago so I did research and ended up choosing the SOL body (colourpop) cream bronzer. I love it! Right now there are so many cream bronzers coming out, and I have to really stop myself. I’m on a no buy. So often I will get my bronzer out and remember how much I love it. I don’t need another one until this one is gone.
This video really hits me. I have REALLY struggled with overspending over the years and I sometimes even find it hard to listen to advice like this because it causes me anxiety. I found myself even tearing up during parts of this video because they hit me so hard. Thank you so much for talking to us with such compassion and understanding. The scarcity mindset is a huge part of my problem, and I try to hear your voice in my head every time I feel those feelings. I appreciate you so much 💜 PS - congrats on 60K!! You deserve it!!
Oooof... this is such SUCH a great video! My kryptonite is books, and I'm *constantly* going into used bookstores whenever I'm in a new city. I have the hardest time resisting buying something... I feel like I'm incomplete if I leave a bookstore without buying just one! I'm learning to be okay with going into a bookstore just to get that dopamine hit of being surrounded by books, and then leaving knowing that I have books at home that make me feel the same way (and stacks that I haven't read yet!). I've started rearranging my books from time to time, as a way of mimicking that feeling I get in a bookstore; I always find old volumes I'd forgotten about and rekindle my satisfaction with the collection I have.
Scarcity mindset is real for me, because I love 1930/1940s vintage… but! We live in a time of mass production. You will either see it again or find something else down the road. Take a breath or wishlist it before you smash that buy button!
I love that you are so practical, so many channels focus a lot on decluttering and these they certainly are starting to focus more on loving what you already have, but your videos in particular are so incredibly practical and specific which is amazingly helpful. Even watching minimalists on RUclips can sometimes leave you thinking "Oh! I need x, because They have x!" Since many videos focus on how they style their wardrobes.
This is exactly what I needed! This kind of mentality can apply to SOOO many things outside of fashion too. Hearing this has made me feel so free and let go of my own shame and embarrassment from buying too much while also feeling brave enough to start to change my habits
Congrats on 60k! 🍾 Thank you for your content, it's helped me so much. My downfall with spending is actually being so picky that I will search for several days to find the "perfect" thing. When I find it I want to buy it immediately because I've invested so much time looking for it and am afraid it will sell if I wait. I buy a lot on secondhand websites, and items get snatched up quickly there, and quite often there's only one of them. There's also the reality of being a plus size woman, and unfortunately, there really is a scarcity of clothing items for my body type. That being said, I try to remind myself that nothing is THAT unique, I don't actually NEED most of the items I'm compelled to buy, and there will be another beautiful thing that will come along if that one sells.
I recently ran across my makeup wishlist from my no buy year and it is hilarious how I don't even remember what 90% of it was....This is so relavant to me, because I am in the throws of Blouse-ageddon 2022. I'm obsessed with the Rixxo Moss in black with a lurex stripe. it's $300 and sold out in my size. I've spent a lot of time looking for a vintage version of this blouse, but I think I am going to go into summer with the firm plan to wait AT LEAST until fall to pull the trigger.
Definitely a video I needed to watch. I am a collector and have gotten the habit from my dad. The last thing I was collecting was loungefly Disney mini backpack. After getting two bags in one week my boyfriend asked me if I knew they were similar bags. He also asked me if I was going to carry any of the bags. Which I told him it was for collecting and not wearing. So they stayed in the closet still wrapped up. After looking at them they were definitely similar lol. I have not bought a loungefly bag in over 3 months. At over $80 a bag and multiple different character designs coming out I just couldn't keep up mentally and financially. Going to finally take a few out and wear them for the summer. Thanks for the mindful steps ❤️
You speak so poetically about things that interest me I could listen to you for hours. You and Sam have been my favourite creators for a while now!! I appreciate you very much 😊
It is amazing how you manage to put down in words feelings and sensations I didn't even know I was experiencing... Wow... 🤔😲😍 I love how you rationalize all of these and then elaborate actual methods that can be implemented in real life! Super useful to conduct some self analysis and get to know ourselves and our habits better!👏👏👏 Always a pleasure to watch your videos!❤️
A lovely video. I have never heard anyone express the love of beauty like you have done in this video. I am similar, and it is comforting to hear your expression of the love of beauty. I too love beauty, of any kind. I love beautiful ideas, beautiful fabrics, beautiful personalities and beautiful bodies. I love beauty of any kind wherever I find it. I don’t always have to own it, I just want to see, feel or experience it. I even love open houses and going for walks to see how someone has arranged their garden. I love the makeup and hairstyles, it goes on and on. It’s wonderful to share this appreciation with you. I have never met anyone who feels like this too, until your video.
I recently took a major paycut so that I could better myself by going back to school. It has been extremely difficult to cut back on my beautiful purchases, especially since I had barely entered the workforce and had only been able to afford nice things for a few years. It’s like I got to taste luxury but never feed on it. This video has helped me so much. Especially “wishlist and wait” and “closet playtime”. This isn’t a race, I can extremely slowly acquire the things I want and while I’m waiting, I can play with the few beautiful things I do have. Take them out one by one and love each of them.
Keeping a journal helped me to reduce spending, like your Wishlist and Wait method. With my approach, I have categories of items (clothing, household, hobbies) and I write specifics about what I'm looking for (brands, colors, materials, pocket availability). I don't necessarily pre-shop for the item, but I give myself such a specific image of what I want in my mind that I won't settle for something that is missing something that I noted as a necessity. And I tend to do shopping all at once, saving up each month so I get to shop maybe two or three times a year with the money I have set aside for that. When you start looking at what you prioritize, it really puts your spending needs and interests into perspective. Oh, I guess I'm really not that passionate about this hobby. Oh, I guess I am pretty satisfied with my current lipstick collection. And it prevents you from accidentally buying multiples, like two of nearly the exact same blouse, you have a checklist of sorts. When it comes to sales, I often find myself asking, would I buy this if it were full price? If the answer is no, then I do not want it. If the money isn't there, the sale will come and the wait will be worth it! Those are the lists you subscribe your emails to, versus the predatory promotional emails we all receive daily for crap we don't need but The Sale!
Hi Hannah! I'm taking deep breaths and employing the "Wishlist & Wait" strategy for the new Kaja Bento Box eyeshadows... especially the peachy one. Thanks for the timely advice!! It's like you knew some of us were really struggling!! Love you so much!! ❤❤❤
For my reading comprehension classes (english isn't my first language), I read this article about conscious spending. And I try to live by it - to separate things I truly enjoy and bring me real satisfaction, vs things I wish to have out of envy, greed or mindless urges - like overspending on sales or filling my fridge to the fullest because I'm hungry while shopping. 😊
so helpful!! Wishlist & Wait(which i've done really well); Longevity Visualization - what is it going to be in 6 months/ 1year, how about after 10 times washes? ; Reality Playtime (really creative one) - Spending time feeling the cloths, dwelling in the life I’ve already have with the things I’ve already owned
I'm a firm believer in the Wish List and Wait strategy, but I generally wait six months to a year before I purchase more expensive items, or items that fit into an already bloated category. For example, yesterday I bought a pair of €385 Dubarry boots. Now to spend that much on an impulse, or recent longing is simply not in my finances. But, on an item that fills a void that I noticed three years ago, that I've heavily researched the most suitable item for my needs, and one that I had more than enough for in my "'Not Necessaties' That I Want" savings, this is within my financial limits. I tried on the boots in the shop, in all their different colour ways and heights, tried on a couple of sizes, and ended up with a purchase that fits my life, my finances, my wardrobe and my body. I 100% recommend this approach, it's taken me from a chronic impulse spender to one who rarely gives in!
This is just what I needed. I’ve been slipping on my low-buy practices right before an exciting life event last week (did my own makeup for my wedding which led to some panic buying of new things-sigh) so thank you for the nudge to being appreciative of what I have! Definitely going to do more reality playtime this weekend!
I love how you emphasis the need to play around with your belongings! I think that as we go from childhood to adulthood, we internalize this idea that “play” (and imagination/daydreaming) is immature and just for children. As adults, there is emphasis on constantly BUYING instead of playing/actually using and enjoying.
I’m in the process of building a wardrobe from scratch. Your channel has been so helpful to guide me to make thoughtful choices. It’s also depressing yet validating to hear that quality fabric is the largest part of looking put together, and I need to focus on less clothes that are better quality
I finally have a job this year, after being a student for forever and then graduating into a pandemic, and I have been so tempted to buy everything. Thank you for continuing to provide this content!
Truly the best video I’ve watched on dealing with overconsumption. I can’t begin to tell you how valuable your insights have been for me. Your channel is a gift.
What a great video. Such good reminders. A constant battle. Also, having fewer nice things (less clutter) creates a more comfortable household (mentally and physically). I am also a lover of beautiful things! I think about these things a lot. Two more strategies that might help--consider the "value" of the item (worth it to pay more for fewer pieces of better made clothing that lasts longer) and scanning the reviews (when available--I've recently noticed many national chains have removed ALL reviews!) starting from the most critical. Sometimes reading the problems people have with something, helps self-talk me out of it. For instance, if someone tell me a product will be tacky on the face, I won't buy it, and I usually don't want that item anymore.
A wonderfully spoken, helpful video to help consume my time. I am consumed with grief and anger with the tragedy at Uvalde. Going back and forth with consuming information on loss of the children, and then having to step away and try to keep some peace by distracting myself with lighter media, like decluttering and intentional living content. All this to say, thank you for the distraction. It is helpful. I need to partially distract myself in this time of grief... I need to focus on healthy distractions and keep some peace in my mind, so I can attempt to make a difference of good, if any, in our heartbreaking world today.
dude - you're a messiah for me. im 41 and consciously started developing my own style 2 years ago and your videos/words/explanations are like a frickin GODSEND! WHO ARE YOU! WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM?
Love the advise here so much!! Especially how “closet playtime” can help us tap into enjoying the beauty and creative options with the clothes we have.
Surprisingly great ideas, and I'm not a shopaholic or spontaneous buyer! So, GREAT JOB. You get into the root of some unspoken stuff including the fact as a non-fashion confident person, I need to go try on the things I own, all the combos, on a relaxed day, NOT 5 minutes before I'm supposed to go somewhere. And, doing that helps me if I think I have a gap, to know what it is. So practical yet so inspiring! (Found you from your The Financial Diet guest spot.) :-)
I always LOVE when a mindful shopping video pops up from you. It’s always wonderful to have that reminder, no matter how much previous unpacking that has been done, to be mindful when purchasing. Sometimes you just need that reminder, you know? And I’m sure these videos help to reinforce things for you, too. It almost feels like we are in a support group, lifting one another up and checking in to see how we are all going. Absolutely adore the warm feelings it creates inside. Thank you 🥰😘
When I started following you and binge watching ur videos, it's because you reminded me so much of my best friend who moved away. She's a philosophy major and designer who also passionately loves objects. She's also a Pisces and lived in Italy for a while which I think is a funny coincidence 😅. I feel like y'all either would get along so well or be each other's arch nemesis
I - actually per one of your videos - have a rule that I can only by clothing during 3 weeks of each year. One at the start of summer, one at the start of fall and one at the start of winter. I also don't let myself purchase more than 10 articles of clothing and 2-3 pairs of shoes per year. (Exceptions to this rule are underwear, socks, and occasionally pajamas) I've implemented a version of "Wishlist and wait" where if I see something I think might work well I write it in my bullet journal on a designated page, and then every few weeks I go back through and see how that list is looking relative to my closet goals and needs, my budget, etc. I also only buy natural fibers if at all possible and try to only buy ethically sourced items made in fair trade factories or by small independent creators. By limiting the stores I will allow myself to purchase from it really gives the "black spot" to more items, which makes it easier to resist!
This longevity visualization is really interesting as I use it often with my clients to help them reframe and put into perspective things that are upsetting them now. "How will you think about this moment in five years? How will you describe it to people? How will it impact how you act towards x?" It's a highly effective way to reframe because it's a very accessible 'what if' as many people spend a lot of their life imagining the future -= just not in such a mindful way.
THANK YOU for this video Hannah, i've only discovered your channel recently but your philosophy and demeanor about purchasing things has resonated with me so much (as well as your soothing voice!) i try my best to be frugal like wishlisting/waiting a lot, but recently made a less-than-perfect purchase that was on the pricier side, and i have been torturing myself subconsciously about it for weeks. your last point about not being hard on ourselves really helped me feel better (and actually made me cry!), so thank you again. you're doing such good work that really applies to everybody ❤
Thank you! I have literally gone through that obsessive urgency thing over the last couple of days due to Black Friday and I’m pleased to say I stopped myself and bought nothing! Despite the fact I do need to buy some decent basics for my wardrobe. I’m going to take my time and not feel pressurised into buying because of a discount. I love the wish list idea! I’ve just downloaded an app. Love your content so much Hannah. Wish I’d had this advice years ago. I’m 50 now, separated and starting my life over. It’s never too late to create a happier life 😊
I never related to a video more! There is something about the way you explain this process that resonates so much with the way I organise my thoughts and it's such a delight to listen to you. So well put and incredibly practical, thank you so much Hannah!
I'm waaaaay behind in my "watch later" list, but I wanted to say I love seeing the teensy tiny changes to the background every new video, it's like a little game 🙂
This was a great video. These are useful strategies. I began using the playtime since watching you. A strategy I use is imagining what else I could buy using the amount of money and comparing my response to owning or doing each of those things. Also, I'm loving Joe's editing!
Yay Hannah 60k! Congratulations to you and Joe, you should be proud of all your hard work. I’ve been watching for 3-4 years now and it’s been so wonderful to see your channel grow
I have found your channel a few days ago and watched a few videos and I have to say that your content is so valuable. You are so well spoken and seem so well-rounded and grounded in love. Beautiful to see.
Thank you for this video!!! I am such an emotional shopper and I’ve tried so many strategies over the years to help keep this area of my life healthy and life giving. I have good season and rough seasons and I am so grateful for your thoughtful input on the topic. Will probably watch this video again!
I love these long-form summaries of our spiritual health and beauty consumption. This is CHURCH! 🙌🏽😁💖 Re, longevity, another factor for dinginess is your local *water*. I currently live in a place with such hard water that it ruins linen within a year, unless treated with softening salts. Even cotton is in danger. It's what's kept me from buying nice linen sheets to keep me from sleeping so hot 😅
One of the things I like most about thrifting pre-loved clothes is that I can look at the tags and see approximately how many times they've been washed and worn, so I know what they look like after washing (like @shellynichols mentioned). One of the tips I've discovered is to wear a sports bra and tight fitting shorts (like bike shorts) so I don't need to wait for a changing room. Also, I find I really need to wear/bring the shoes I would use with the outfit if I'm getting bottom pieces. If you're looking for a winter coat, bring the fluffiest sweater you'd want to wear it with.
Wonderful video. I am trying, at 46, to define my style as I feel that a lot of the clothing I wore earlier in my life just doesn’t feel right any more. I am also trying to be more intentional about purchases and be a thoughtful consumer. Thinking along about longevity is simply amazing advice! Thank you so much 🙏
I love the reality closet playtime tip! I am someone who usually buys things on sale, so as a result my closet was filled with stuff that didn't coordinate. Closet playtime can help me with coming out with outfits that work and knowing clearly what items i need to get to fill the gaps. Question, what are the best ways to do your research so you know an item will work? I've found when buying online with sales, some items didn't turn out as I expected but I no longer have the chance to return them (final sales). So I could 1) buy on sale but be ok with it not working out and non returnable, or 2) wait for sales but be ok with missing out on something you love in your size or 3) buy something at full price to try out, so you can return and if it works, rebuy when it's on sale. Although it's a lot of work to return stuff!
This video is really good, because I don’t find anything out there for people with strong attachments to stuff who love beautiful things so deeply. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for posting this on Memorial Day weekend. I've been feeling stressed about navigating the sales and deciding which things I want to buy. These strategies clarified for me that the "opportunity" to acquire beautiful things at a discount has an additional mental/emotional cost I wasn't accounting for. I feel much less stressed and can approach any purchasesni do decide to make with a realistic curation mindset, so thank you!
Your ability to express deep thought through language and especially metaphor is exquisite. Thank you, deeply, for these strategies that will help me navigate a path towards healthy appreciation and purchasing of truly beautiful things instead of gorging on over-processed fluff ❤️
Impeccable timing on this video. I've been stuck on a pair of sunglasses that I do actually need but are rather expensive for my budget so I cant decide if I should buy them or not. Please guide me in this decision making time, oh wise Hannah. 💖
Hannah, this video is so helpful in providing me with strategies to avoid the vicious cycle of overspending -> feeling ashamed for overspending -> feeling the urge to buy something to comfort myself
Thank you for this video. I’m half way through my first ever year-long no-buy project and I’ve been searching for my roadmap for the future. I think this video will be incredibly helpful when I reënter the practice of shopping.
I've been doing more closet playtime activities recently and it's so helpful! I'm using it to get to a place where I know what outfits I feel good in, take notes about it, and then feel confident re-wearing those clothes over and over instead of always chasing something new. While buying and returning clothes can be problematic, I've also used this strategy with purchases to make sure that they fit into my wardrobe and have ended up returning several things that looked great in the store, but didn't actually fit with other clothes I had, and it helped me decide that I didn't want to put the time/effort/money into creating a new outfit around the one new sweater.
What a timely video. I just spent the past week quarantining with covid, alone in my 1 br apt. And totally let myself slip into an online shopping frenzy. My internal dialogue around these purchases has been all over the place, and before they've even arrived I'm already thinking of returning some things. I will add these strategies to my growing list of HLP inspired practices/reminders/perspectives, many of which have already helped me change my behaviors and perceptions for the better. Thank you Hannah, for sharing this extremely thoughtful content with the world!!! 💚💚💚👏🙌🏻
Loving this video!! Trying to bring this energy into other fields, like videogame and book sales. I've recently realized that I'm very susceptible to the idea of a good story, and while I like having a backlog/library to peruse, at some point it's just not reasonable! I can't exactly invent more hours in the day 😅
Quick thing to add: I do the wish list and wait all the time, especially on items that seem to expensive for what it is. А lot of times just looking at two things I like side by side gives me an idea if I need those or not! E.g, if I look at two pieces of clothing together, I may find out that they won’t work with each other. Hope that helps someone 😊
Thank you for these strategies! I am in the middle of buying new clothes because I gained weight, and the amount of choices combined with my emotions about my body changing are making the experience really overwhelming. Having just three rules to follow would really simplify things, I'm definitely going to try it.
I have the opposite of a shopping addiction, I avoid it at all costs and as a result have a wardrobe that, frankly, sucks. Your videos are the most gentle support manual for reframing my relationship into one that is healthier and more effective.
Sometimes I’m just shopping because I am hungry. Like, literally because I haven’t had my dinner yet or something. So I always try to avoid stores when I know that’s the case. Your videos are well reflected, I’m really glad I stumbled upon your channel!
Just found your channel. Not only these are some great tips but also... you look absolutely gorgeous? Like I just couldn't stop thinking about how astonishingly beautiful you and your clothes and your makeup and your hair look while watching this video!
Often the ‘good’ decision is no decision. We don’t have to make these decisions as we often don’t genuinely need these options presenting themselves in the first place. We can enjoy them passionately from a distance. And I think you’ve talked through that practice previously. And it takes such practice! Thanks for your input to that whole discussion, much needed and important.
WARNING! Scammers have been in my comments trying to get people's personal information. I am not running any giveaways right now and I don't use Telegram. We've blocked and reported the ones we've found, but please let us know if any more pop up. Thank you to everyone who gave me a heads up about this!
I received a SPAM message from “you” telling me to telegram you for what I have won. I figured it was SPAM, I mean….wtf is a telegram these days?
Black hat hacker from 1837?
Love to hear from you directly, the companychecks, if you care to inhabit my life so desperately
This was possibly the best, most validating, warm hug-like therapy session I have had in a month. Thank you Hannah for literally EVERYTHING you do for this community on this platform. You are a rare gem.
thank you so much for saying this!!
I agree with you very much!
I want to be Hannah when I grow up
Totally Agree! 🤝!! Thank you so much Hannah! I wish I could carry you in my pocket specially when I panic it will sell out!! 😂😂
Srsly, thank you for your comment. I was trying to formulate a response but no need, you’ve expressed it perfectly. Her content is beyond enriching.
I also like the advice “Don’t buy an outfit, build a wardrobe “…helps strategize shopping with purpose instead of impulse.
I worked at Pier 1 Imports in the 90’s. I was a frugal person with a penchant for thrift shops and flea markets so was rarely tempted by the merchandise. However, when I was tempted, I would make it a point to check on the item during my shift. Eventually, I realized that satisfied my desire for the object. Admiring something is usually enough for me, I don’t have to own it. I guess that was my physical version of a wishlist. Your video has reminded me how this tool can be used in other ways. Thank you.
I knit and sew, and I get emails everyday about about gorgeous new yarns and fabrics. And I want it all, every time. It's very much like seeing all the new makeup releases. But what I have finally learned is this: yes, that lovely seafoam gingham I've just learned about and think I cannot live without will be gone for good by the end of the season...BUT, there will always be another beautiful fabric that makes me feel the same way coming next week or next month. Always. I rarely look back at previously coveted items and feel regret at not getting them. Usually, I don't even remember what those things were.
I love this video!!! Not done yet, but had to add something that helped me for high-urgency items that fail “wishlist & wait” (scarcity mindset): I have made myself comfortable with the fact that I am someone who misses out on things. (Hint: we all are, even the highly affluent) None of us have all the experiences, try all the things, or get to be all the people. I focus now on what I DO get to experience and have found richness there, especially in mending, maintaining (cleaning), and making my belongings.
Onto “longevity visualization” and have more thoughts 😂 I adore that you are utilizing imagination for this. I think shopping triggers our creative imagination of fantasizing about our lives, and there is something so incredibly healthy about using our imagination for our normal lives. It’s almost related to mortality meditations in Buddhism.
WAIT WAIT WAIT one more thought: at some point, I realized I was OK with the FOMO of new trendy clothing collections and was not OK with missing out on the lilac bushes blooming every year, or the wild swamp cabbages opening up, or the migrating juncos and red wing blackbirds. It was a huge part of moving back to the countryside to me from the city.
@@alexandrah535 wow may I ask what part of the world you live in? Sounds beautiful
Yes, so important ! That's how I deal with it as well :)
@@alexandrah535 Yes, I totally agree. I’m also not ok with missing out on seeing at least a dozen species of warblers every year during migration, and I’m not willing to miss more than a few of my thousands of daffodils blooming. Those are the things that really make me happy. (I do spend a lot of my disposable income on plants, but they make such a difference in my life, and I like to think that they make a positive contribution to the world.)
so I was in a very unhealthy relationship for over a decade. During that time I had a very serious shopping addiction. I tried so many no buys with no success. I have been separated for a few months now and almost the day I moved out, I stopped compulsive shopping. So it was definitely a much deeper issue.
Wasn’t expecting to be moved by this video but I cried when you spoke about that scarcity mindset and it’s connection to suffering. You have an incredible insight and sensitivity to the human condition Hannah. I have accounts that I watch for entertainment, those that I watch for aesthetics and others for escapism but yours offers all that plus heart and depth that is rare and special and so thoughtful. Thank you for the work you do in this space 🙏🏻😊
I have a little rule for myself that has really saved me and it’s kinda like wishlist and wait but just a little different and it’s just to not buy anything when it’s dark outside. I just feel like I tend to make impulse purchases or bad decisions at night. Saved me tons of money!
Me too! I buy stuff at 1am 🤦🏼♀️ but no more now! 😅
Gahhh I’m a morning shopper 😂 my rule should be the opposite. I tend to say no more at night.
Hey hey hey it's 60K!! Also: with your help, I realized that my biggest triggers are COLOR and TEXTURE. I would be seduced in the store, but then disappointed later, mainly because the color didn't stay true after washing. My latest strategy is buying second hand: the clothes are way worn-in already! I mean, duh, but it was your videos that helped me identify my trigger. So grateful!
Yep that’s why I love thrifting. I already know how it wears!
Exactly! Now I want to shout it from the rooftops! 🤣
Oh this is so smart! I usually do his with handbags (because the “investment” would’ve been lost already so I can buy at its true price (what the consumers think it’s actually worth) and that’s saved me ££££
This video really spoke to my heart. I've been a shopaholic for decades. I like to think I'm past it, but I'm not. It just goes from one thing to another. I'm a collector of things I love. I have thousands of dollars of nail polish. I have stacks of bins and boxes of yarn. I have makeup I've never worn. I'm aware im trying to fill a hole, but I can always tell myself, "This one is different. Once you buy this, you won't need anything more for a while." Of course, I always fund something else I need so desperately.
My kindle is loaded with over 2000 books (all purchased on sale), I'll never read them all in my lifetime. I've put myself on no buys for kindle, but it only lasts a month or so.
Even watching this video, I realized I needed to go on a long-term no buy. But my first thought was, "Right after I load up on some clothes from the thrift store." But that is why I started watching your videos in the first place, to learn to be more deliberate about my fashion choices. To elevate the way I present and carry myself. To go beyond jeans and hoodies and feeling sloppy 99% of the time. To stop the mindset of "I'm not happy at this weight, so I dont deserve to buy items that fit me well"
Thank you for your content. You're special and wonderful and really make a difference. ❤
I prayed today for God to help me with my shopaholic problem and here you arrived ! I literally cried my eyes out … in a thank you Jesus way! Your a wee angel from heaven honey ! This is amazing! 😇🦋🙏❤️🥰😘
You’re helping so many people with this, Hannah! You’ve helped me tremendously. Now, when I am confronted with feelings of urgency because of a sale, my mantra is “spending money is not saving money”. It’s the voice of reason! Thank you 😊
Such a wise and true mantra to develope! I’m going to adopt it! Thanks!!
One of your no-buy reflection videos struck me 8 months ago. For the first time, I realized that my desire to buy was fueling my fantasy self. That realization has been the answer to struggles and has allowed me to successfully stick to my no-buy. When I first started, I was wishlisting and waiting. It's interesting that for the first couple of months, I was adding makeup to wishlist multiple times a week. Several months later I decided to go through the wishlist and delete everything that I no longer wanted. The list was instantly cut in half. This story continues. Every time I decided to look through it, I'm only interested I'm about half the items. My no-buy has finally allowed me to see past the sales, the words limited edition in bolded letters, the feeling of not being enough, etc. All that is gone. This has been such a life changing experience that I truly don't want to stop. My no-buy will continue on for quite some time, and I'm truly excited to see where I will be a few years from now.
What would be interesting to do is a collab with someone who's gone through body changes, on how to deal with that while keeping oneself within this sort of "calm approach" mindset.
I had a baby and during pregnancy, clothing was super easy. I got a few core pieces that I needed to adapt to me and dressed around them. It was this sort of "it's just 3 or 4 months" thinking because I didn't gain much weight until my last trimester and didn't need new clothes until way into pregnancy. But the last trimester was a mess, and, after having a baby, I found myself 20 pounds heavier than I used to be and all of my clothes fit badly. And I found myself in a completely new mindset when it comes to shopping. Not only did I *have* to shop, I also had to shop for a body shape I've never had and didn't know how to dress. I didn't know my style because it was what I liked to wear when I was my normal weight and, as much as I like to tell myself that I am badass enough to wear anything at any weight, I am not badass enough. And I recognized many of the things you talk about. This mentality of "I *need* that because that will make me feel comfortable, while everything else makes me look bad. And I need several of that style because that's the only style I now know how to pull off. I really had lost all of my calm, mostly because I just didn't know how to deal with being overweight. So it's a whole mental chaos, of course. It's not as much about the shopping as it is about the promise of a piece of clothing acting as a patch, making me feel better about the fact that the change back to my normal might be quite slow.
At least, I've now started to mostly just get larger items in thrift stores and altering them to fit me in the way that I feel I might like. At least I'm lucky because I can sew and alter but I imagine there are other people out there who struggle with changes to their body that might last for a year or even longer and whose impulse is to buy more and more patches.
Thanks for this video. I have such a hard time with scarcity causing me to purchase things. As a plus-sized person, clothes that I love are scarce. Most of the time, anything worth wearing sells out quickly. So instead of making a wish list and waiting for clothes, I keep a list of wardrobe gaps I want to fill. When something from the list becomes available, then I give myself permission to buy it.
I need to come up with a new system for beauty purchases. As a blogger and RUclipsr, my beauty purchases have gotten out of hand. My unrelenting curiosity makes me want to try everything at least once. Now I have a ton of products waiting to be tested and products that have only been used a handful of times. It's really unsustainable in every way.
Thank you for making a coment about scarcity and clothing size. I was thinking about that as well, about how scacity and the size range offered by brands, and the number of items offered in each size, interakt for us who are on the largest or smalest end of the scale.
Can you share how you make your list of wardrobe gaps? Do you take inventory of what you currently have? I've been wanting to do something like this
I just wrote my own comment about larger sizes and then I saw yours. That's such a great idea, I might steal it! Thank you. ❤
That opening explanation of how one becomes numb to beautiful things was so amazing and Really Truly spoke to me in a way none of your other talks have. Not that the others weren’t good, this one just really got me. Thank you! I’m an over spender of beautiful things and I am looking to change. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Limited edition and collab palettes were/are such a vice for me. Over the past couple years a lot have come out, some I've bought and regretted, some I've bought and loved. I realized that for me, limited edition is not the true scarcity that I think it is. Color stories can be recreated, and if I'm really missing a color, I can buy a single. For influencer collabs, my affection for the creator isn't a forever thing either. I may stop following them or break away from their content. If I don't truly love the product they worked on, it's just going to become dead weight in my collection. Although I made some purchases I regret, I did ultimately learn from them and I try and remind myself of that too. It's hard to not just feel the guilt sometimes!
I'm learning this now myself!
I was feeling a bit of anxiety because I saw something I’ve wanted for a long time that got discontinued but was recently restocked ✨fOr a LiMiTeD tImE✨ and I’m currently on a no buy. It took a lot to breathe and say “it’s on the wishlist, if it’s still there at the end of the no buy then I’ll get it if that desire persists this whole time” and honestly your videos really do help with that grounding work. I know the source my anxiety at this point and I’ve done that work, but it’s a bit hard to get back to that calmer headspace in the moment sometimes!
Ps. Congrats on 60k!! You deserve it 🎉🍾
i am a huge fan of the wishlist and wait strategy. i was overwhelmed with all of the things i wanted and wrote them down in a notes document, and then write stipulations. let’s say i want a new eyeshadow palette or a new lipgloss. if i want it bad enough after waiting a predetermined amount of time, now i have to use something in my collection, or pan something. sometimes i’ve found that i don’t want to go through the work of doing this, so maybe i don’t want or need an extra palette collecting dust. or i find i really want a new lipgloss, so i spend the time and energy panning a current gloss so i can get a new one. maybe this is a faulty system, but it works for me and my life and my consumption habits. of course i make impulse spending decisions, but i make less of them now because i have this system in place
I also think about how something will fit me down the line. For example will it be too young for me in say 5 years or will it be too sensitive to slight weight changes. Things I didn't used to think about in my 20s but now that I am older I find they have become relevant and essential factors in my decision making.
I just bought randomly a “statement” item , a Miaou corset! They just did a collab with Paloma with extended sizing and I’ve been wanting a corset for a year plus, willing to spend a good penny. Bought it and it just arrived and truly NO REGRETS.
That’s a rare occurrence by you talking about spending on beautiful things and it’s sometimes you gotta jump on it even though it seems “irresponsible”
Hi Han! Im actually curious on how this life changes (and money spending) on this new house with new stuff is making you feel, overspending on moving is a real thing, and i remember the no buy year included house and decor items. And as someone whos moving soon again and knows how it goes, im curious of how new furniture is making you feel.
Yes, I second this. I would love to know if there is something you feel strongly that you *need* but you’ve put it off. I’d love to know how that feels? I feel anxious just thinking about it, honestly 😩
I will never cease to be blown away by the safistication with which you speak about beauty and love.
I want you to know that you just talked me off the ledge of purchasing an $80 glossier cart. This whole video was like flipping a switch in my brain I didn’t even know existed. Thank you!!
It’s funny you mention this love of beautiful things as a positive quality in a person, because it’s one of the things I love the most about my husband: he has impeccable eye for color, harmony between objects, well stylized clothing, and really, all beautiful things. He grew up in a very dull environment (lol) and maybe that fostered an appreciation for beauty. That, and spending loads of time in antique/vintage shops with his mom (only child). But after meeting my husband, I, too, have gained a much greater appreciation for beautiful things. I don’t always need to buy them, I can look at them and be content. But it’s made me a more joyful person and that’s a good thing!
Thank you for this video! I have recently caved to the desire to buy something I can’t really afford and I was really beating myself up about it( For me this urge to spend is connected with actually experiencing or expecting some money problems. Its like instead of being rational I start believing fanatically in that ‘dress for the job/life you want’ idea. It is some sort of magical thinking - if I let go of this money now with ease I will have more money coming in... Maybe you could explore this fantasy self stuff more? Because i feel like I need to have someone talk about these issues over and over again until I manage to accept them.
Oh wow I do this exact same thing
Your channel has been such a breath of fresh air. I've considered myself a minimalist for many years, but I'm also an artist, and I didn't know how to reconcile my desire for simplicity with my love of shopping for beautiful things. To find someone who gets it is just SO refreshing. Some of your strategies, such as "waitlist and wait," are things I've been doing on my own for a long time, but I still got a lot out of this video. Thanks for what you do!
I am mostly a lurker here, but I am compelled to comment on how absolutely wonderful this video is. I think about these things *all the time*, and I am so grateful to see that other people are thinking about this issue too, and that you are able to articulate it in such a compelling way for others. You're an absolute gem, Hannah.
You’ve been making such high quality content lately, Hannah!! Thanks as always 💕
Agreed!
Listening to this video shopping my closet realizing I already have 20 pairs of white trousers in EVERY single cut you can imagine . I was ready to go to the thrift shop today hunting for something else! This is so good 😊 thank you. Instantly my mindset changed for abundance !
What a valuable contribution you have made with this video! These are all simple and effective strategies. I would like to add something that I’ve been doing lately. When I find myself wanting, say, a $50 eyeshadow palette, I ask myself if I would rather have the eyeshadow palette (sitting on the cabinet with the rest of my eyeshadow “collection”) OR would I rather add another $50 to my money collection. I think about building my savings or contributing it to an investment or 401K. I also think about how that $50 could grow that way over the years. It could be worth $100 in a few years when the eyeshadow palette would be expired and tossed. Looking at account balances can sometimes fulfill that collecting impulse. You could also think, “would I rather have that eyeshadow palette or one brick in my future dream home?” “Would I rather have that eyeshadow palette or a train ticket between European cities on my dream vacation someday?” I wish I would’ve adopted this mindset a long time ago. Thanks for all you do, Hannah!
I ran out of bronzer about 6 months ago so I did research and ended up choosing the SOL body (colourpop) cream bronzer. I love it! Right now there are so many cream bronzers coming out, and I have to really stop myself. I’m on a no buy. So often I will get my bronzer out and remember how much I love it. I don’t need another one until this one is gone.
Happy 60K!!!! Well deserved!!! ❤️❤️❤️
This video really hits me. I have REALLY struggled with overspending over the years and I sometimes even find it hard to listen to advice like this because it causes me anxiety. I found myself even tearing up during parts of this video because they hit me so hard. Thank you so much for talking to us with such compassion and understanding. The scarcity mindset is a huge part of my problem, and I try to hear your voice in my head every time I feel those feelings. I appreciate you so much 💜
PS - congrats on 60K!! You deserve it!!
Oooof... this is such SUCH a great video! My kryptonite is books, and I'm *constantly* going into used bookstores whenever I'm in a new city. I have the hardest time resisting buying something... I feel like I'm incomplete if I leave a bookstore without buying just one! I'm learning to be okay with going into a bookstore just to get that dopamine hit of being surrounded by books, and then leaving knowing that I have books at home that make me feel the same way (and stacks that I haven't read yet!). I've started rearranging my books from time to time, as a way of mimicking that feeling I get in a bookstore; I always find old volumes I'd forgotten about and rekindle my satisfaction with the collection I have.
Scarcity mindset is real for me, because I love 1930/1940s vintage… but! We live in a time of mass production. You will either see it again or find something else down the road. Take a breath or wishlist it before you smash that buy button!
I love that you are so practical, so many channels focus a lot on decluttering and these they certainly are starting to focus more on loving what you already have, but your videos in particular are so incredibly practical and specific which is amazingly helpful. Even watching minimalists on RUclips can sometimes leave you thinking "Oh! I need x, because They have x!" Since many videos focus on how they style their wardrobes.
Such a thought-provoking and helpful video! Thank you, Hannah. And congratulations on getting to 60,000!
This is exactly what I needed! This kind of mentality can apply to SOOO many things outside of fashion too. Hearing this has made me feel so free and let go of my own shame and embarrassment from buying too much while also feeling brave enough to start to change my habits
Congrats on 60k! 🍾
Thank you for your content, it's helped me so much. My downfall with spending is actually being so picky that I will search for several days to find the "perfect" thing. When I find it I want to buy it immediately because I've invested so much time looking for it and am afraid it will sell if I wait. I buy a lot on secondhand websites, and items get snatched up quickly there, and quite often there's only one of them. There's also the reality of being a plus size woman, and unfortunately, there really is a scarcity of clothing items for my body type. That being said, I try to remind myself that nothing is THAT unique, I don't actually NEED most of the items I'm compelled to buy, and there will be another beautiful thing that will come along if that one sells.
I recently ran across my makeup wishlist from my no buy year and it is hilarious how I don't even remember what 90% of it was....This is so relavant to me, because I am in the throws of Blouse-ageddon 2022. I'm obsessed with the Rixxo Moss in black with a lurex stripe. it's $300 and sold out in my size. I've spent a lot of time looking for a vintage version of this blouse, but I think I am going to go into summer with the firm plan to wait AT LEAST until fall to pull the trigger.
Definitely a video I needed to watch. I am a collector and have gotten the habit from my dad. The last thing I was collecting was loungefly Disney mini backpack. After getting two bags in one week my boyfriend asked me if I knew they were similar bags. He also asked me if I was going to carry any of the bags. Which I told him it was for collecting and not wearing. So they stayed in the closet still wrapped up. After looking at them they were definitely similar lol. I have not bought a loungefly bag in over 3 months. At over $80 a bag and multiple different character designs coming out I just couldn't keep up mentally and financially. Going to finally take a few out and wear them for the summer. Thanks for the mindful steps ❤️
You speak so poetically about things that interest me I could listen to you for hours. You and Sam have been my favourite creators for a while now!! I appreciate you very much 😊
It is amazing how you manage to put down in words feelings and sensations I didn't even know I was experiencing... Wow... 🤔😲😍
I love how you rationalize all of these and then elaborate actual methods that can be implemented in real life!
Super useful to conduct some self analysis and get to know ourselves and our habits better!👏👏👏
Always a pleasure to watch your videos!❤️
A lovely video. I have never heard anyone express the love of beauty like you have done in this video. I am similar, and it is comforting to hear your expression of the love of beauty. I too love beauty, of any kind. I love beautiful ideas, beautiful fabrics, beautiful personalities and beautiful bodies. I love beauty of any kind wherever I find it. I don’t always have to own it, I just want to see, feel or experience it. I even love open houses and going for walks to see how someone has arranged their garden. I love the makeup and hairstyles, it goes on and on. It’s wonderful to share this appreciation with you. I have never met anyone who feels like this too, until your video.
I recently took a major paycut so that I could better myself by going back to school. It has been extremely difficult to cut back on my beautiful purchases, especially since I had barely entered the workforce and had only been able to afford nice things for a few years. It’s like I got to taste luxury but never feed on it. This video has helped me so much. Especially “wishlist and wait” and “closet playtime”. This isn’t a race, I can extremely slowly acquire the things I want and while I’m waiting, I can play with the few beautiful things I do have. Take them out one by one and love each of them.
Keeping a journal helped me to reduce spending, like your Wishlist and Wait method. With my approach, I have categories of items (clothing, household, hobbies) and I write specifics about what I'm looking for (brands, colors, materials, pocket availability). I don't necessarily pre-shop for the item, but I give myself such a specific image of what I want in my mind that I won't settle for something that is missing something that I noted as a necessity. And I tend to do shopping all at once, saving up each month so I get to shop maybe two or three times a year with the money I have set aside for that. When you start looking at what you prioritize, it really puts your spending needs and interests into perspective. Oh, I guess I'm really not that passionate about this hobby. Oh, I guess I am pretty satisfied with my current lipstick collection. And it prevents you from accidentally buying multiples, like two of nearly the exact same blouse, you have a checklist of sorts.
When it comes to sales, I often find myself asking, would I buy this if it were full price? If the answer is no, then I do not want it. If the money isn't there, the sale will come and the wait will be worth it! Those are the lists you subscribe your emails to, versus the predatory promotional emails we all receive daily for crap we don't need but The Sale!
Hi Hannah! I'm taking deep breaths and employing the "Wishlist & Wait" strategy for the new Kaja Bento Box eyeshadows... especially the peachy one. Thanks for the timely advice!! It's like you knew some of us were really struggling!! Love you so much!! ❤❤❤
For my reading comprehension classes (english isn't my first language), I read this article about conscious spending. And I try to live by it - to separate things I truly enjoy and bring me real satisfaction, vs things I wish to have out of envy, greed or mindless urges - like overspending on sales or filling my fridge to the fullest because I'm hungry while shopping. 😊
so helpful!! Wishlist & Wait(which i've done really well); Longevity Visualization - what is it going to be in 6 months/ 1year, how about after 10 times washes? ; Reality Playtime (really creative one) - Spending time feeling the cloths, dwelling in the life I’ve already have with the things I’ve already owned
I'm a firm believer in the Wish List and Wait strategy, but I generally wait six months to a year before I purchase more expensive items, or items that fit into an already bloated category.
For example, yesterday I bought a pair of €385 Dubarry boots. Now to spend that much on an impulse, or recent longing is simply not in my finances. But, on an item that fills a void that I noticed three years ago, that I've heavily researched the most suitable item for my needs, and one that I had more than enough for in my "'Not Necessaties' That I Want" savings, this is within my financial limits. I tried on the boots in the shop, in all their different colour ways and heights, tried on a couple of sizes, and ended up with a purchase that fits my life, my finances, my wardrobe and my body. I 100% recommend this approach, it's taken me from a chronic impulse spender to one who rarely gives in!
This is just what I needed. I’ve been slipping on my low-buy practices right before an exciting life event last week (did my own makeup for my wedding which led to some panic buying of new things-sigh) so thank you for the nudge to being appreciative of what I have! Definitely going to do more reality playtime this weekend!
I love how you emphasis the need to play around with your belongings! I think that as we go from childhood to adulthood, we internalize this idea that “play” (and imagination/daydreaming) is immature and just for children. As adults, there is emphasis on constantly BUYING instead of playing/actually using and enjoying.
I’m in the process of building a wardrobe from scratch. Your channel has been so helpful to guide me to make thoughtful choices. It’s also depressing yet validating to hear that quality fabric is the largest part of looking put together, and I need to focus on less clothes that are better quality
I finally have a job this year, after being a student for forever and then graduating into a pandemic, and I have been so tempted to buy everything. Thank you for continuing to provide this content!
Truly the best video I’ve watched on dealing with overconsumption. I can’t begin to tell you how valuable your insights have been for me. Your channel is a gift.
What a great video. Such good reminders. A constant battle. Also, having fewer nice things (less clutter) creates a more comfortable household (mentally and physically). I am also a lover of beautiful things! I think about these things a lot. Two more strategies that might help--consider the "value" of the item (worth it to pay more for fewer pieces of better made clothing that lasts longer) and scanning the reviews (when available--I've recently noticed many national chains have removed ALL reviews!) starting from the most critical. Sometimes reading the problems people have with something, helps self-talk me out of it. For instance, if someone tell me a product will be tacky on the face, I won't buy it, and I usually don't want that item anymore.
A wonderfully spoken, helpful video to help consume my time. I am consumed with grief and anger with the tragedy at Uvalde. Going back and forth with consuming information on loss of the children, and then having to step away and try to keep some peace by distracting myself with lighter media, like decluttering and intentional living content. All this to say, thank you for the distraction. It is helpful. I need to partially distract myself in this time of grief... I need to focus on healthy distractions and keep some peace in my mind, so I can attempt to make a difference of good, if any, in our heartbreaking world today.
dude - you're a messiah for me. im 41 and consciously started developing my own style 2 years ago and your videos/words/explanations are like a frickin GODSEND! WHO ARE YOU! WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM?
Love the advise here so much!! Especially how “closet playtime” can help us tap into enjoying the beauty and creative options with the clothes we have.
Surprisingly great ideas, and I'm not a shopaholic or spontaneous buyer! So, GREAT JOB. You get into the root of some unspoken stuff including the fact as a non-fashion confident person, I need to go try on the things I own, all the combos, on a relaxed day, NOT 5 minutes before I'm supposed to go somewhere. And, doing that helps me if I think I have a gap, to know what it is. So practical yet so inspiring! (Found you from your The Financial Diet guest spot.) :-)
"you are going to wear it. it is not going to change you". wow that really hit. thank you I really needed to hear that.
I always LOVE when a mindful shopping video pops up from you. It’s always wonderful to have that reminder, no matter how much previous unpacking that has been done, to be mindful when purchasing. Sometimes you just need that reminder, you know? And I’m sure these videos help to reinforce things for you, too. It almost feels like we are in a support group, lifting one another up and checking in to see how we are all going. Absolutely adore the warm feelings it creates inside. Thank you 🥰😘
I adore the sensitivity you approach all of this with! Thank you so much for how you speak to what so many of us experience!
When I started following you and binge watching ur videos, it's because you reminded me so much of my best friend who moved away.
She's a philosophy major and designer who also passionately loves objects. She's also a Pisces and lived in Italy for a while which I think is a funny coincidence 😅. I feel like y'all either would get along so well or be each other's arch nemesis
I - actually per one of your videos - have a rule that I can only by clothing during 3 weeks of each year. One at the start of summer, one at the start of fall and one at the start of winter. I also don't let myself purchase more than 10 articles of clothing and 2-3 pairs of shoes per year. (Exceptions to this rule are underwear, socks, and occasionally pajamas) I've implemented a version of "Wishlist and wait" where if I see something I think might work well I write it in my bullet journal on a designated page, and then every few weeks I go back through and see how that list is looking relative to my closet goals and needs, my budget, etc. I also only buy natural fibers if at all possible and try to only buy ethically sourced items made in fair trade factories or by small independent creators. By limiting the stores I will allow myself to purchase from it really gives the "black spot" to more items, which makes it easier to resist!
This longevity visualization is really interesting as I use it often with my clients to help them reframe and put into perspective things that are upsetting them now. "How will you think about this moment in five years? How will you describe it to people? How will it impact how you act towards x?" It's a highly effective way to reframe because it's a very accessible 'what if' as many people spend a lot of their life imagining the future -= just not in such a mindful way.
THANK YOU for this video Hannah, i've only discovered your channel recently but your philosophy and demeanor about purchasing things has resonated with me so much (as well as your soothing voice!)
i try my best to be frugal like wishlisting/waiting a lot, but recently made a less-than-perfect purchase that was on the pricier side, and i have been torturing myself subconsciously about it for weeks. your last point about not being hard on ourselves really helped me feel better (and actually made me cry!), so thank you again. you're doing such good work that really applies to everybody ❤
Thank you! I have literally gone through that obsessive urgency thing over the last couple of days due to Black Friday and I’m pleased to say I stopped myself and bought nothing! Despite the fact I do need to buy some decent basics for my wardrobe. I’m going to take my time and not feel pressurised into buying because of a discount. I love the wish list idea! I’ve just downloaded an app. Love your content so much Hannah. Wish I’d had this advice years ago. I’m 50 now, separated and starting my life over. It’s never too late to create a happier life 😊
I never related to a video more! There is something about the way you explain this process that resonates so much with the way I organise my thoughts and it's such a delight to listen to you. So well put and incredibly practical, thank you so much Hannah!
I'm waaaaay behind in my "watch later" list, but I wanted to say I love seeing the teensy tiny changes to the background every new video, it's like a little game 🙂
This was a great video. These are useful strategies. I began using the playtime since watching you. A strategy I use is imagining what else I could buy using the amount of money and comparing my response to owning or doing each of those things.
Also, I'm loving Joe's editing!
Yay Hannah 60k! Congratulations to you and Joe, you should be proud of all your hard work. I’ve been watching for 3-4 years now and it’s been so wonderful to see your channel grow
I have found your channel a few days ago and watched a few videos and I have to say that your content is so valuable. You are so well spoken and seem so well-rounded and grounded in love. Beautiful to see.
Thank you for this video!!! I am such an emotional shopper and I’ve tried so many strategies over the years to help keep this area of my life healthy and life giving. I have good season and rough seasons and I am so grateful for your thoughtful input on the topic. Will probably watch this video again!
I LOVE the honesty and compassion in this video!
I love these long-form summaries of our spiritual health and beauty consumption. This is CHURCH! 🙌🏽😁💖
Re, longevity, another factor for dinginess is your local *water*. I currently live in a place with such hard water that it ruins linen within a year, unless treated with softening salts. Even cotton is in danger. It's what's kept me from buying nice linen sheets to keep me from sleeping so hot 😅
One of the things I like most about thrifting pre-loved clothes is that I can look at the tags and see approximately how many times they've been washed and worn, so I know what they look like after washing (like @shellynichols mentioned).
One of the tips I've discovered is to wear a sports bra and tight fitting shorts (like bike shorts) so I don't need to wait for a changing room. Also, I find I really need to wear/bring the shoes I would use with the outfit if I'm getting bottom pieces. If you're looking for a winter coat, bring the fluffiest sweater you'd want to wear it with.
Wonderful video. I am trying, at 46, to define my style as I feel that a lot of the clothing I wore earlier in my life just doesn’t feel right any more. I am also trying to be more intentional about purchases and be a thoughtful consumer. Thinking along about longevity is simply amazing advice! Thank you so much 🙏
Feeling the same at 52.
I love listening to you talk and that makes what you say actually stick in my mind when I’m shopping or lusting over something.
I love the reality closet playtime tip! I am someone who usually buys things on sale, so as a result my closet was filled with stuff that didn't coordinate. Closet playtime can help me with coming out with outfits that work and knowing clearly what items i need to get to fill the gaps. Question, what are the best ways to do your research so you know an item will work? I've found when buying online with sales, some items didn't turn out as I expected but I no longer have the chance to return them (final sales). So I could 1) buy on sale but be ok with it not working out and non returnable, or 2) wait for sales but be ok with missing out on something you love in your size or 3) buy something at full price to try out, so you can return and if it works, rebuy when it's on sale. Although it's a lot of work to return stuff!
This video is really good, because I don’t find anything out there for people with strong attachments to stuff who love beautiful things so deeply. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for posting this on Memorial Day weekend. I've been feeling stressed about navigating the sales and deciding which things I want to buy. These strategies clarified for me that the "opportunity" to acquire beautiful things at a discount has an additional mental/emotional cost I wasn't accounting for. I feel much less stressed and can approach any purchasesni do decide to make with a realistic curation mindset, so thank you!
Your ability to express deep thought through language and especially metaphor is exquisite. Thank you, deeply, for these strategies that will help me navigate a path towards healthy appreciation and purchasing of truly beautiful things instead of gorging on over-processed fluff ❤️
Impeccable timing on this video. I've been stuck on a pair of sunglasses that I do actually need but are rather expensive for my budget so I cant decide if I should buy them or not. Please guide me in this decision making time, oh wise Hannah. 💖
LOVE how the background design is coming along!!!
Hannah, this video is so helpful in providing me with strategies to avoid the vicious cycle of overspending -> feeling ashamed for overspending -> feeling the urge to buy something to comfort myself
Thank you for this video. I’m half way through my first ever year-long no-buy project and I’ve been searching for my roadmap for the future. I think this video will be incredibly helpful when I reënter the practice of shopping.
I've been doing more closet playtime activities recently and it's so helpful! I'm using it to get to a place where I know what outfits I feel good in, take notes about it, and then feel confident re-wearing those clothes over and over instead of always chasing something new. While buying and returning clothes can be problematic, I've also used this strategy with purchases to make sure that they fit into my wardrobe and have ended up returning several things that looked great in the store, but didn't actually fit with other clothes I had, and it helped me decide that I didn't want to put the time/effort/money into creating a new outfit around the one new sweater.
What a timely video. I just spent the past week quarantining with covid, alone in my 1 br apt. And totally let myself slip into an online shopping frenzy. My internal dialogue around these purchases has been all over the place, and before they've even arrived I'm already thinking of returning some things. I will add these strategies to my growing list of HLP inspired practices/reminders/perspectives, many of which have already helped me change my behaviors and perceptions for the better. Thank you Hannah, for sharing this extremely thoughtful content with the world!!! 💚💚💚👏🙌🏻
Loving this video!! Trying to bring this energy into other fields, like videogame and book sales. I've recently realized that I'm very susceptible to the idea of a good story, and while I like having a backlog/library to peruse, at some point it's just not reasonable! I can't exactly invent more hours in the day 😅
Quick thing to add: I do the wish list and wait all the time, especially on items that seem to expensive for what it is. А lot of times just looking at two things I like side by side gives me an idea if I need those or not! E.g, if I look at two pieces of clothing together, I may find out that they won’t work with each other. Hope that helps someone 😊
yes!!
Thank you for these strategies! I am in the middle of buying new clothes because I gained weight, and the amount of choices combined with my emotions about my body changing are making the experience really overwhelming. Having just three rules to follow would really simplify things, I'm definitely going to try it.
I have the opposite of a shopping addiction, I avoid it at all costs and as a result have a wardrobe that, frankly, sucks. Your videos are the most gentle support manual for reframing my relationship into one that is healthier and more effective.
Sometimes I’m just shopping because I am hungry. Like, literally because I haven’t had my dinner yet or something. So I always try to avoid stores when I know that’s the case. Your videos are well reflected, I’m really glad I stumbled upon your channel!
I'm loving hearing all your thoughts and questions with Strategy #2 and Reality Playtime
Just found your channel. Not only these are some great tips but also... you look absolutely gorgeous? Like I just couldn't stop thinking about how astonishingly beautiful you and your clothes and your makeup and your hair look while watching this video!
Often the ‘good’ decision is no decision. We don’t have to make these decisions as we often don’t genuinely need these options presenting themselves in the first place. We can enjoy them passionately from a distance. And I think you’ve talked through that practice previously. And it takes such practice!
Thanks for your input to that whole discussion, much needed and important.
This is the best guidance I have ever heard about purchasing the item!