Losing someone much less two people in your life is a very difficult thing to get over and some people handle it differently than others but know that we are all here for you. People go through their entire life and only have one love, you have found two and your are truly blessed. I agree with the other comment that he really loves you to agree that you need some space to heal. You will be in my thoughts and prayers……❤️❤️❤️
Thank you again for keeping things real. I am a therapist and have worked with several couples who took a break by living apart while they worked on themselves and their relationship. Each of these couples found the perspective they needed and became stronger. It's so good you are taking the time you need to heal and your daughters will probably love having you close to help them heal too.
This video means a lot to me❤ I didn't know your son struggled with addiction. I am selling/losing my home and moving into a sober house. I went to treatment for about 2 months and got really behind on bills and when I came back I either had to sell or foreclose. So right now Im selling and closing is scheduled on November 1st. I'm nervous and scared but I know it will be good for me to be in a house with other sober women. I have almost 90 days sober. Thank you for this video Mary Ellen, take care of yourself ❤
I'm coming up on 7 years sober... I was you just 7 years ago and most days it feels like a lifetime ago and I don't even recognize who that person is but some days, like reading your comment, I'm right back there with you. Just know, life doesn't get any easier... But we find healthier ways to deal and we open other doors when one closes (cliche as hell I know). Don't give up. You CAN do this. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you!
Grief is like that recurring nightmare that stays with you and rears it’s ugly head when you least expect it. I lost 4 family members in a year. And at first I didn’t think it has affected me but I know I’m not the same person I was a year ago. I admire your bravery and how you and Mike are addressing whatever it is head on like adults that really care about each other. Lots of love to you ❤
Living apart prior to marriage is not unconventional. You guys are so wise to take this time Thank you for sharing as it gives others confidence and courage to make the hard decisions. It does not matter what others are thinking about YOUR relationship or YOUR life. i wish you both the absolute best.
Grief makes everything difficult, adding anything to your life as you grieve is huge. You do whatever you need to make it through to better days. Better days will come as the intensity of grief lessons. Clarity and courage and strength return when we make it through the grief period. Life is life, we hang on and we move forward and we focus on ourselves for our own sanity. Praying you get the solutions and the strength you need as you deal with yet another change, and praying it is exactly what you need.
My adult daughter and I moved together after a traumatic event and it's been the best decision for both of us. Sending you the biggest virtual hug ever.
My soulmate and I took a 18 month live together break. We were 15 years into our relationship. It was needed. Best thing we ever did. We are all individuals and we all get through life differently. Keep doing you Mary Ellen. In the end you are the only one who lives in your head and you have to do what you can live with. Much love!
Being apart will definitely strengthen and test your relationship and love for each other. I've been through a similar situation with my husband. When we had to be separated for almost 2 years because of my seizures (he works almost an hour away and I had to move back in with my parents for someone to watch and take of me 24/7). When I finally got my seizures in a better place, I was able to return home. We missed each other so much and appreciated each other more. I'm rooting for you, honey.
I lost my husband around the same time as you, and I’ve suffered other losses since, and I still can’t wrap my arms around losing a child and how difficult that would be on top of it all. Big virtual hugs to you for making this hard decision. I wish you peace and growth as you continue your grief journey. And thank you for your transparency. Your brave sharing helps others make similar difficult choices.
I'm glad you and Mike are still together and working on yourselves as individuals. Communication is so important and the fact that you all have had this talk is good. I was sad in the aspect of that beautiful craft room. 😁 Take care of you.
Hi Mary Ellen! It's totally okay. You're true supporters honor and respect your decision. It's o-kay. Truth be told.....it's none of our business. I pray that you are well, so we can continue to enjoy your beautiful spreads. You are LOVED by your cyber family. Just know that. ❤️❤️🙏🙏
Oh my my.... I just watched this moving video. I am so glad you feel that you can share some bits and pieces of your life. You are a very strong person, even if you don't think you are. I'm not trying to be churchy,, but, I went through a lot a few years ago with breast cancer and double mastectomy. That was a very hard time for me and my whole family. But what I kept telling myself and anyone else is... "Everything Happens For a Reason" . Have Faith in the Lord, and he will get you through. I know it is all going to work out for you. And, I do believe that you and Mike are going to be just fine. ❤. Thank you for sharing your story with us friends ❣️. God Bless. Sincerely, Diane Minto.
I think taking a break will strengthen your relationship and give you time to begin healing and working on yourself. I have been working with Atomic Habits and a few similar books for the past 1.5 years. I've lost 20 lbs by slowly making small changes and I have built other good habits as well, including making better use of my planner. You've got this Mary Ellen. Learning, healing and growing is a lifelong process. Someday you'll look back and be filled with wonderment at how far you've come. 💜
I admittedly haven’t watched a video in awhile. Thanks for the ruler trick with letters. Way to defeat the shame gremlins by being vulnerable and open. I appreciate it. I will put you in my prayers for healing. As a financial lesson be careful how much you invest into your home when it’s not your house.
I am so proud of you for doing what you needed to do for yourself no matter how hard. Life is hard, change is hard, everything seems so hard when are you still figuring it out. But your strength and determination to heal yourself will help you so much. Take the time you need. Time heals all wounds and fixesproblems. Hugssssssss sweet lady!!!
My hubby and I separated for a year after being married for 7 years. It was the best decision of my life. It brought us so much closer. In April 2023 we celebrate 30 years of marriage. We're best friends and love each other so much! Yes Atomic Habits! Great book. I read it years ago, I'm going to read it again!!!! Thank you for the reminder. And I have missed Bumble's little growls. Love and Blessings to you Mary Ellen!!!!! I pray your 2023 is amazingly blessed in all areas of your life.
My husband and I took a year-long break eight years into our marriage. We've now been together for 35 years. We all have to do what is best for us at any given time. You need to heal and to do that you need to think about yourself and what you need. Keeping you in my thoughts!
I'm glad you share this with your followers. As I've read the comments it is pretty apparent you are loved by all your friends here. The word social media really doesn't fit because we are a group of friends cheering you on and giving you love and support. I know I sure send you healing light and love.
It's your relationship and your business. You guys do what you each need to. My husband and I while we were dating .. needed some time ro work on things and we took the time we needed. We got back together and were married within 3 years. Sending you lots of hugs!!❤️🤗
I can feel you are a strong woman. When I was 7, we lost my older brother who was 19. My mother never talked to me about her grief feelings. You help me by being so open. I am 73 now. Mother passed when I was 30. So never had a chance to just understand the grief she felt at the time of my brother passing. Thank you Mary.
I'm sure you will realize this was the best decision you made , when you look back later. Good luck with everything. I know a move can leave anyone overwhelmed, just 1 thing at a time . Can't wait to see your new office & space.
My partner of 10 years and I realized that we basically became married 3 months after we met (we moved in together at 3 months and are common-law) and that we both need a bit of space to develop and explore ourselves as individuals. We are still living together but just have less of an expectation of spending every moment of every day together. So I understand how it is simultaneously the right thing for you and your relationship even though it may be outside of your comfort zone. in the long run, it will just make your love stronger
Even though it made me sad to know you're going through such things, I'm glad you're taking steps to get to a better place. I wish you lots of luck and peace. ❤️
I truly hope for you that you find the healing you so desperately need and deserve. And I feel in my heart that you and Mike will find your way back to each other. And I agree that him giving you the space is huge.
ME, I had a rough go for a bit too. My BFF passed on my wedding day. 3 days later my new husband was diagnosed as type 1 diabetic. I spent my first week married going from the hospital to her funeral... 5 years later I learn my sister (late 20s) has stage 4 brain cancer, that same week his dad passed unexpectedly. I still struggle with that time of year, it will always be a weird time of happiness and grief. Take time to figure out yourself triggers and how to cope each new day, hour, second ❤️❤️❤️ In January we will be at 1 year without his dad, still a struggle all too often. Take care!
My Husband and I have done this before. It's hard at first but we end up ALOT stronger. Sometimes you just get in a rute and the best thing is a little space.
Bless your heart, grief and depression is so difficult and I’m happy you are sharing this part of your life. There is still such a stigma attached to mental illness and it’s awesome to have an influencer share about mental illness. My husband and I took a break after our daughter died. Life was rough as we were grieving and we were in completely different places in our lives. The break actually helped us realize how much we missed each other but also gave us time to heal on our own. You are in my prayers and thoughts as you figure life out. I am chuckling because I missed Bumble. I have the male version of her and I love it.
My husband and I took a break and lived apart a couple of years into our marriage. We did go to counseling and were able to move forward. We celebrated our 26th Wedding Anniversary and our 30th year together this year. Take care.
My husband and I have had to live apart a lot-it’s fine and works for us. We love each other very much; it is just the way it is. It may be what your relationship needs too. I need space, he needs space and maybe you need space. It’s a crazy world and we all need to find out what works for ourselves. People may talk/judge-not important-do what is “your right way!” Love watching-good luck with your move.
I lost my oldest son a while back. Being with my other son is the only time I’m not anxious. Being with him calms me. I hope that living with Allie gives you time to heal somewhat. Prayers and hugs ❤
I wanted to share with you that my fiancé and I have been together for 9 years and last year we were at a breaking point. We decided to separate to work on ourselves and decide if after that point we aren’t in a better headspace then we would officially break up. We both entered counseling and it’s now behind us and a year later and we are back living together and both healthy and happier. Relationships are a lot of work and too many people give up when things get hard. I’ve been divorced prior to this and I didn’t want to have another relationship end. One of the things I can now appreciate is that I have a partner willing to do the hard work of self reflection and change and doesn’t leave when things get hard. So many people think relationships shouldn’t be hard and if they hard they are the wrong partner. But I want to just say that anything that works for you is what’s best. I’ll be saying prayers for healing for you and your heart and to have a man allow you the space to heal and not run is a gift and I’m rooting for you as well as you both and look forward to seeing you in a year and where you are on your journey. ❤
Thank you for sharing that. I agree with everyone one else you have been through alot and taking time for yourself is a healing process. And when the time comes you and Mike will be back together stronger and better. You know I need to take your advice and sit down with mine. We have been together for 5 years he works nights and I work days he's a Police officer and I'm a nurse and we are also raising his 9 year old son. And it has been hard. But this is not about me. You do what's best for you. And you are loved by millions around the world. Take care of yourself. Your Favorite Nurse Kelly 😍 🥰🤗❤
I applaud you for making this choice! With everything going on, sometimes you need a reset. My husband and I did a reset a while back and it really helped us refocus. Keeping you in the prayers and good vibes. Love and Light - Cai
i think that this decision shows extreme maturity and security in your relationship. i think needing some distance is a normal thing and i'm glad you have the space to do that. i hope that you find joy in this next part of your life and can find ways to better manage your grief
Best of luck to you and Mike both! Greif and your mental health are hard and very important to deal with. Take it one day at a time, and you'll get through.
I completely get it! Grief is hard. I have been in and out of grief counseling so much the last 10 years at this point I am just going to continue because I am working on being assertive as well. I am one of the ones that will be glad Bumble is back bugging you. 😁
Before my husband and I got married we actually broke up for a year and took time to connect more with our spiritual selves. During that time we realized that we really loved each other and wanted to build a life together. We have now been married for 20 years. I wish you the best. Do what works for you! I wish you health and healing!
Praying for both yours and Michael’s strength to endure. Grief is a heavy burden to bear and I’m sure, because he loves you, he grieves with and for you. But the best thing you guys can do is the best thing for you and your relationship. We support you Mary Ellen and we are here with no judgement or negativity. 🤎
This sounds like a courageous decision. You must both love each other very much. I can only hope that if I were in the same position I could make an equally brave choice. Life takes us places we never expect that we will go. My best to you both.
I hope you are well soon. I am going through a bought of deep depression myself due to an error that took place during a surgery at the beginning on September. So I know how hard it can be. Best wishes to you.
God bless you as you deal with this. You are very gracious to share parts of your life with your followers, and please know you have prayers and support. I hope that your creative business brings some joy during this.
I admire your honesty so much. For you and Mike to realize there were some issues to be worked out before you get married is so smart and insightful. I wish you the best of everything ❤️
I think its very wise, the decision yall are making. You for sure need your time to heal from all your loss. I understand, the last 5 years my mom (and me) lost 2 of her brothers, 1 nephew, her husband, her son , and her dad. Each year was a loss. So yeah I understand.
I’m so sorry you’re going thru so much! Atomic Habits is one of the best productivity books I’ve ever read. As a planner, I’m sure you’re already doing or have done a lot of the things he suggests. You can still be a minimalist and have a lot of stuff. “A lot” is subjective. Minimalism is about having stuff you actually use. So even if it’s a lot, if you use it and it brings you joy then you can keep it.
You are a remarkable and resilient woman! Hoping your move goes smoothly and that you and Ally love your new place! 💙💙💙 Personally speaking, we got rid of 90% of our things when we moved and it’s so lovely living clutter free! (Not counting my planner supplies 😂)
I'm so sorry to hear about some of the hard stuff you have going on. My heart goes out to you, and I wanted to comment since you asked if anyone has been through taking a sorta-break. I actually did 2 years ago with my then-fiance. My family thought they saw some red flags, which later was cleared up as a huge misunderstanding due to him going through some really hard stuff with his family almost dying in a terrible car accident. Unfortunately, I had some doubts of my own since we're SUPER different in personality, and ended it pretty abruptly and even canceled the venue without telling him (that was a HUGE mistake to do without talking to him first, and really hurt him). We took 2 weeks apart of no talking and then I went to be with my family for Christmas for 2 more weeks to work through it. We went through some counseling, both together and separately, which really really helped us work things out. Eventually, we got back together, after 2 months, and are happily married now. It's still sometimes a struggle to work out our personality differences, but here's what really helps us: 1. We talk everything out and are very real with each other. 2. We're both working to see things from each other's POV. 3. We communicate in the way each of us needs. (He's far more sparse with his words and I'm very emotional and wordy.) 4. We make it a point to hang out/make it an intentional date at least 1-2 times during the week and once on the weekend. 5. We give each other space after work to decompress. 6. We go to Church together. I am so grateful we didn't throw it all away because it made our relationship stronger. I really hope you work things out with Mike and that you can make it work. I'm rooting for you Mary Ellen!
Hay Lady, my hubby of 30 + years have separated on more than 1 occasion the last time we separated was the final time and I can say we are closer and more in the love now than I ever thought we would be in our 60's. If you and Mike are meant to be it will all work out, I wish you much love and happiness
Bless your heart. I suffer with depression too. I lost my husband of 42 years in 2014. It's alot to go through. I wish you the best with your future, wherever it takes you. Take care of you!
I am just now watching this, after your comment in the sticker storage organization video. Please know that should take as much time as you need. You've gone through some real hum-dingers, there is no playbook for dealing with grief. I'm hoping and praying that your creative endeavors will help in your journey. Thank you for sharing your story and being authentic. Love you lady!
What an incredibly strong and important decision to make! Relationships are work and grieving is work. Taking a break before you get married to take care of your mental health, will strengthen your relationship with yourself and Mike in the run.
I've sorta been in this situation. My husband and I had been together 7.5 years and married 4 years. We brought a lot of baggage into our marriage that we weren't even aware of until we were married. We are also high school sweethearts and had hit that weird stage where we had to decide whether we were growing up together or apart. We separated, honestly with the intention of getting divorced, but that separation gave us the distance we needed to evaluate what we really wanted and work on ourselves individually. After a few months, we decided to start kinda slow and "date" again. We're still together, happier than ever, and celebrated our 15yr wedding anniversary this year. We still have our issues like any couple, but we've learned how to better communicate and work through things together. I can't imagine doing this crazy life thing with anyone else. ❤️
My husband and I had both been through a divorce. His first wife cheated on him, and mine was abusive. We were getting serious and decided to take about 3 weeks and not really talk to each other, but really do some soul searching and praying about our possible future together. Since we both had children from our first marriages, they were to be considered. Fast forward, my husband and I have now been married for 34 years now and I'm so glad we took that time. I'm sorry you are going through this, but definitely better to do the soul searching and taking the time now, before you officially get married. It can save you from possible heart aches in the future...and you've had enough of them.
Finally I am catching up on RUclips and wowwy wow such changes. First off I have to say I am so excited for this new journey your starting on! Such a gift in this crazy world we are in and as you work through the path you have been working through. I am so thankful for you, meaning the person you are and how you share your gifts with us and the world. You say that this time out is not “traditional”, we darling lady this is not the 50’s. Nothing in todays world is traditional. Traditional will never work today. I have to admit that I am envious then I am now finding such an amazing man and after this time out is over this relationship is going to be unbelievable. Plus with your inner work and all that bright light is going to bring the world so much magic that only you bring. I am always here celebrating the good times, and always sitting with you through the hard times even if it’s in quiet, and surrounding you with love and light. Sweet lady this is so exciting… sorry I am super excited for this journey.
Thank you for sharing, Mary Ellen. I hope you receive and feel all the love, care and support you need everyday, from those surroundings you in person, and from afar. ❤
My dr just recommended grief therapy for me bc I had a miscarriage in June after 7 years of trying so it is very hard and like you said life throws curve balls! But yes gotta take time sometimes! And don’t worry ab what you’re doing I salute you for doing this- and I’ll just say, y’all agreeing together as a couple to do this shows the strength and ability to communicate you will have in your marriage and this will make it even better! 💜#youdoyouboo #yallgotthis 😊
I totally understand what you said here, especially about taking action right after a loss. I lost my Mom last year and threw myself into charity work with an organization I love. I couldn’t focus and work much, but I could be creative and feel useful to others through my volunteering. I am now in the phase of pulling back the amount of volunteering and refocusing my energy to those things that help me. One might say I’m being selfish, but I need this right now. Always listen to your heart, only you know what’s best for you. Grief is like nothing else we will ever experience in our lives, so don’t listen to well-meaning people’s suggestions of how to “snap out of it.” Only you know what you need and when. Grief has no time limit.
Honestly take all the time needed to heal completely. Put all your stuff in storage don’t leave it there. If everything works out you can move it back but in case the result is to end the relationship you won’t have to go through that HARD part which could add to the stressors. Pray all goes well for you Mary Ellen
To me... It sounds like you two made a very mature choice. Unconventional or not - you aren't giving up on one another but SOMETHING had to change. I get that better than anyone. I tried explaining it to my soon to be ex fiance... I tried to tell him this is what I needed and he wouldn't give me that space and now we barely speak to one another, while living together with his parents. I'm not happy, I can't seem to move forward... Etc. You don't have to explain your situation to a single person.. you don't owe anyone that part of your life... You give more than enough of yourself and if people give you even more grief than you've already been through the last few years -- then those people are not needed in your life... Block and remove.. I pray your heart heals and you take the time to really care for yourself and heal over your hurt. If I know one things, your baby boy and husband wouldn't want you living your life feeling the way you do - they would want you happy, in love, and in peace. Stay strong. Thank you for sharing your life with us, even while going through all this.... I can barely get out of bed most days so you are absolutely an inspiration.
Love this page and it gives me inspiration since we are moving this weekend as well..I would personally be interested in your "what you bought list" and I have been eyeing a Ninja coffee maker but don't know anyone that has one which you tend to get different feedback from vs the posted reviews I have said before and will say it again, I love your heart and your transparency - grief can be a beast, my husband passed 8 yrs ago and I still have my days. Much love and prayers for you on this journey Mary Ellen! 💜
I listened to the autio book of Atomic Habits in 1.5 days. Its such a GOOD BOOK!!!!!! I just downloaded some of the printables and going to add them to my planner then I'll listen to the book again. I just got a hard copy so thinking of reading it also.
Choosing to remove yourself from a less-than-ideal situation early-on can be LIFE-SAVING. You'll get some relief and perspective. We love you Mary Ellen, and support you a 100%🥰 Also, 'Atomic Habits' is GREAT and makes it EASY to make huge changes. Please let us know what the new PO Box is so we can send cards!
I totally get it, when my fiancé lost his job at NASA he moved in with me instead of being happy I was crying bc I felt it was the beginning of the end. Idk why I felt that but in my case it was. We lived together for 10 months then we broke up for good. I knew it. I was completely broken but I knew it was for the best. Relationships are hard. We had great times the best times tbh. You do what’s best for you. I’m not saying y’all will break up for good I’m saying every relationship is different this will be a positive thing for you both. My ex had a drinking problem that I didn’t know about till I was with him 24/7. Enjoy your time with your daughter. You and Mike are great together from what I can see. I wish a smooth transition into your new place ❤
You are such an inspiration to this community! Personally I too am going through an incredibly difficult season. Because of your videos and content I am taking care of my mental health, I’m not putting pressure on myself or beating myself up for not being in my planner right now. Also I’ve struggled my whole life with emotional eating and I am doing so well at not feeding my feelings. I too am reading Atomic Habits, I’m about halfway through and it’s so therapeutic. It has really helped me to stop and slow down. Really be intentional in so many areas of my life. I think it’s a book I will come back to because there’s so much to unpack.
It may not be “conventional “ but if it works for y’all, that’s all that matters. I’m glad you have a supportive family to help you navigate these stressful times. Sending you positive vibes ❤
I'm going to be moving from central Texas to New Hampshire. I have been scouring the internet for moving lists and then I come on here and there you are yet again to brighten my day and educate me
Praying for you as you navigate this time in your life. I will be praying that you find the answers you need to live a happy peaceful life whatever that looks like for you. Was so glad to see that you posted a new video. Always enjoy watching you create spreads no matter what the topic.
It doesn’t matter if we do agree with your decision. Glad that you said that because it’s true. Taking a step back to figure things out is great. Glad you decided to do that and the fact you’re doing this with your daughter will help you heal too. Life is unexpected the journey will always continue and change 💕
This move means you respect and value the relationship and have respect for each other to be able to put in your all. I understand why you made that decision. I love that you have a positive outlook on this big decision. I hope this time apart will help you and y’all’s relationship become strong.
Well, im married already and I’m also a traveler for my job. When I left for my last assignment, I was dealing with a lot of big feelings and trying to heal from my PTSD. I was away from home for 9 months. I spent the time I wasn’t working, healing. I came home for the summer and I felt much more refreshed and, like you said, able to show up more for my family and husband. We still talked and saw each other on some weekends, but for the most part we were apart. Sometimes we need that time away to get some relief from the constant overwhelming feelings. I hope you can use this time to heal!
I actually know a few couples who live separately and always have and have been together for years (for some even decades) . It's not unheard of and often works well. I see nothing but positive and happy things for you ❤❤❤
I have known multiple couples that have had a gap or break and got back together and married. My cousin postponed her wedding (you know the older relatives had a lot to say on the subject ) they are happily married for at least a decade. I am so excited to try out the letters on ruler trick. I want to put labels on everything
The fact he loves you enough to give you space to heal speaks volumes.
You got this girl. 💕⚘️
Losing someone much less two people in your life is a very difficult thing to get over and some people handle it differently than others but know that we are all here for you. People go through their entire life and only have one love, you have found two and your are truly blessed. I agree with the other comment that he really loves you to agree that you need some space to heal. You will be in my thoughts and prayers……❤️❤️❤️
Thank you again for keeping things real. I am a therapist and have worked with several couples who took a break by living apart while they worked on themselves and their relationship. Each of these couples found the perspective they needed and became stronger. It's so good you are taking the time you need to heal and your daughters will probably love having you close to help them heal too.
This video means a lot to me❤ I didn't know your son struggled with addiction. I am selling/losing my home and moving into a sober house. I went to treatment for about 2 months and got really behind on bills and when I came back I either had to sell or foreclose. So right now Im selling and closing is scheduled on November 1st. I'm nervous and scared but I know it will be good for me to be in a house with other sober women. I have almost 90 days sober. Thank you for this video Mary Ellen, take care of yourself ❤
Keep going! You got this! ❤️
I'm coming up on 7 years sober... I was you just 7 years ago and most days it feels like a lifetime ago and I don't even recognize who that person is but some days, like reading your comment, I'm right back there with you. Just know, life doesn't get any easier... But we find healthier ways to deal and we open other doors when one closes (cliche as hell I know). Don't give up. You CAN do this. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you!
Grief is like that recurring nightmare that stays with you and rears it’s ugly head when you least expect it. I lost 4 family members in a year. And at first I didn’t think it has affected me but I know I’m not the same person I was a year ago. I admire your bravery and how you and Mike are addressing whatever it is head on like adults that really care about each other. Lots of love to you ❤
Living apart prior to marriage is not unconventional. You guys are so wise to take this time Thank you for sharing as it gives others confidence and courage to make the hard decisions. It does not matter what others are thinking about YOUR relationship or YOUR life. i wish you both the absolute best.
Grief makes everything difficult, adding anything to your life as you grieve is huge. You do whatever you need to make it through to better days. Better days will come as the intensity of grief lessons. Clarity and courage and strength return when we make it through the grief period. Life is life, we hang on and we move forward and we focus on ourselves for our own sanity. Praying you get the solutions and the strength you need as you deal with yet another change, and praying it is exactly what you need.
My adult daughter and I moved together after a traumatic event and it's been the best decision for both of us. Sending you the biggest virtual hug ever.
My soulmate and I took a 18 month live together break. We were 15 years into our relationship. It was needed. Best thing we ever did. We are all individuals and we all get through life differently. Keep doing you Mary Ellen. In the end you are the only one who lives in your head and you have to do what you can live with. Much love!
I am so glad it helped you!
Being apart will definitely strengthen and test your relationship and love for each other. I've been through a similar situation with my husband.
When we had to be separated for almost 2 years because of my seizures (he works almost an hour away and I had to move back in with my parents for someone to watch and take of me 24/7).
When I finally got my seizures in a better place, I was able to return home. We missed each other so much and appreciated each other more. I'm rooting for you, honey.
I lost my husband around the same time as you, and I’ve suffered other losses since, and I still can’t wrap my arms around losing a child and how difficult that would be on top of it all. Big virtual hugs to you for making this hard decision.
I wish you peace and growth as you continue your grief journey. And thank you for your transparency. Your brave sharing helps others make similar difficult choices.
I'm glad you and Mike are still together and working on yourselves as individuals. Communication is so important and the fact that you all have had this talk is good. I was sad in the aspect of that beautiful craft room. 😁 Take care of you.
Hi Mary Ellen! It's totally okay. You're true supporters honor and respect your decision. It's o-kay. Truth be told.....it's none of our business. I pray that you are well, so we can continue to enjoy your beautiful spreads. You are LOVED by your cyber family. Just know that. ❤️❤️🙏🙏
Oh my my.... I just watched this moving video. I am so glad you feel that you can share some bits and pieces of your life. You are a very strong person, even if you don't think you are. I'm not trying to be churchy,, but, I went through a lot a few years ago with breast cancer and double mastectomy. That was a very hard time for me and my whole family. But what I kept telling myself and anyone else is... "Everything Happens For a Reason" . Have Faith in the Lord, and he will get you through. I know it is all going to work out for you. And, I do believe that you and Mike are going to be just fine. ❤. Thank you for sharing your story with us friends ❣️. God Bless. Sincerely, Diane Minto.
Thank you 🙏🏽 so very much for sharing with us and sending lots of love, hugs and Prayers 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I think taking a break will strengthen your relationship and give you time to begin healing and working on yourself.
I have been working with Atomic Habits and a few similar books for the past 1.5 years. I've lost 20 lbs by slowly making small changes and I have built other good habits as well, including making better use of my planner. You've got this Mary Ellen. Learning, healing and growing is a lifelong process. Someday you'll look back and be filled with wonderment at how far you've come. 💜
I admittedly haven’t watched a video in awhile. Thanks for the ruler trick with letters.
Way to defeat the shame gremlins by being vulnerable and open. I appreciate it. I will put you in my prayers for healing.
As a financial lesson be careful how much you invest into your home when it’s not your house.
I am so proud of you for doing what you needed to do for yourself no matter how hard. Life is hard, change is hard, everything seems so hard when are you still figuring it out. But your strength and determination to heal yourself will help you so much. Take the time you need. Time heals all wounds and fixesproblems. Hugssssssss sweet lady!!!
My hubby and I separated for a year after being married for 7 years. It was the best decision of my life. It brought us so much closer. In April 2023 we celebrate 30 years of marriage. We're best friends and love each other so much!
Yes Atomic Habits! Great book. I read it years ago, I'm going to read it again!!!! Thank you for the reminder. And I have missed Bumble's little growls. Love and Blessings to you Mary Ellen!!!!! I pray your 2023 is amazingly blessed in all areas of your life.
You have our support and love and prayers. You are being so healthy and wise in this! 🌹
My husband and I took a year-long break eight years into our marriage. We've now been together for 35 years. We all have to do what is best for us at any given time. You need to heal and to do that you need to think about yourself and what you need. Keeping you in my thoughts!
Good luck with all changes! Sometimes you need to be away to help bring people closer! ❤
You and Mike seem to handle your situation a healthy manner because you are allowing each other space to advance your relationship 🎉
I'm glad you share this with your followers. As I've read the comments it is pretty apparent you are loved by all your friends here. The word social media really doesn't fit because we are a group of friends cheering you on and giving you love and support. I know I sure send you healing light and love.
Sweet one, do what you have to do. Grief takes time, it truly never goes away. However, it does soften. Love you sweet girl!
It's your relationship and your business. You guys do what you each need to. My husband and I while we were dating .. needed some time ro work on things and we took the time we needed. We got back together and were married within 3 years. Sending you lots of hugs!!❤️🤗
I can feel you are a strong woman. When I was 7, we lost my older brother who was 19. My mother never talked to me about her grief feelings. You help me by being so open. I am 73 now. Mother passed when I was 30. So never had a chance to just understand the grief she felt at the time of my brother passing. Thank you Mary.
Please take care of yourself. We'll be fine. I'm so proud of you for seeing that you need to take a step back before you can move forward. 💕
I saw your IG post and ran to RUclips, I was so worried about you. I wish you so much healing and lots of love!
I'm sure you will realize this was the best decision you made , when you look back later. Good luck with everything. I know a move can leave anyone overwhelmed, just 1 thing at a time . Can't wait to see your new office & space.
My partner of 10 years and I realized that we basically became married 3 months after we met (we moved in together at 3 months and are common-law) and that we both need a bit of space to develop and explore ourselves as individuals. We are still living together but just have less of an expectation of spending every moment of every day together. So I understand how it is simultaneously the right thing for you and your relationship even though it may be outside of your comfort zone. in the long run, it will just make your love stronger
Even though it made me sad to know you're going through such things, I'm glad you're taking steps to get to a better place. I wish you lots of luck and peace. ❤️
I truly hope for you that you find the healing you so desperately need and deserve. And I feel in my heart that you and Mike will find your way back to each other. And I agree that him giving you the space is huge.
God will always work things out for our good. Stay strong, pray often, Keep the Faith. Love ya Mary Ellen
ME, I had a rough go for a bit too. My BFF passed on my wedding day. 3 days later my new husband was diagnosed as type 1 diabetic. I spent my first week married going from the hospital to her funeral... 5 years later I learn my sister (late 20s) has stage 4 brain cancer, that same week his dad passed unexpectedly. I still struggle with that time of year, it will always be a weird time of happiness and grief.
Take time to figure out yourself triggers and how to cope each new day, hour, second ❤️❤️❤️
In January we will be at 1 year without his dad, still a struggle all too often.
Take care!
My Husband and I have done this before. It's hard at first but we end up ALOT stronger. Sometimes you just get in a rute and the best thing is a little space.
I’m glad you’re taking the time you need to heal. Sending big hugs!!!
Bless your heart, grief and depression is so difficult and I’m happy you are sharing this part of your life. There is still such a stigma attached to mental illness and it’s awesome to have an influencer share about mental illness.
My husband and I took a break after our daughter died. Life was rough as we were grieving and we were in completely different places in our lives. The break actually helped us realize how much we missed each other but also gave us time to heal on our own.
You are in my prayers and thoughts as you figure life out.
I am chuckling because I missed Bumble. I have the male version of her and I love it.
I love you and pray that your heart is healed and restored. 🙏🏾
My husband and I took a break and lived apart a couple of years into our marriage. We did go to counseling and were able to move forward. We celebrated our 26th Wedding Anniversary and our 30th year together this year. Take care.
My husband and I have had to live apart a lot-it’s fine and works for us. We love each other very much; it is just the way it is. It may be what your relationship needs too. I need space, he needs space and maybe you need space. It’s a crazy world and we all need to find out what works for ourselves. People may talk/judge-not important-do what is “your right way!” Love watching-good luck with your move.
I lost my oldest son a while back. Being with my other son is the only time I’m not anxious. Being with him calms me. I hope that living with Allie gives you time to heal somewhat. Prayers and hugs ❤
Thanks for sharing. When you said you had news I got butterflies in my tummy. Praying for y’all. Remember that you deserve grace. Here for you! ❤
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you are SO STRONG and you'll come out of this better than ever!
I wanted to share with you that my fiancé and I have been together for 9 years and last year we were at a breaking point. We decided to separate to work on ourselves and decide if after that point we aren’t in a better headspace then we would officially break up. We both entered counseling and it’s now behind us and a year later and we are back living together and both healthy and happier. Relationships are a lot of work and too many people give up when things get hard. I’ve been divorced prior to this and I didn’t want to have another relationship end. One of the things I can now appreciate is that I have a partner willing to do the hard work of self reflection and change and doesn’t leave when things get hard. So many people think relationships shouldn’t be hard and if they hard they are the wrong partner. But I want to just say that anything that works for you is what’s best. I’ll be saying prayers for healing for you and your heart and to have a man allow you the space to heal and not run is a gift and I’m rooting for you as well as you both and look forward to seeing you in a year and where you are on your journey. ❤
I totally understand. I’m sorry that this happened to you. Big hugs❤
Thank you for sharing that. I agree with everyone one else you have been through alot and taking time for yourself is a healing process. And when the time comes you and Mike will be back together stronger and better. You know I need to take your advice and sit down with mine. We have been together for 5 years he works nights and I work days he's a Police officer and I'm a nurse and we are also raising his 9 year old son. And it has been hard. But this is not about me. You do what's best for you. And you are loved by millions around the world. Take care of yourself. Your Favorite Nurse Kelly 😍 🥰🤗❤
I applaud you for making this choice! With everything going on, sometimes you need a reset. My husband and I did a reset a while back and it really helped us refocus. Keeping you in the prayers and good vibes. Love and Light - Cai
i think that this decision shows extreme maturity and security in your relationship. i think needing some distance is a normal thing and i'm glad you have the space to do that. i hope that you find joy in this next part of your life and can find ways to better manage your grief
Best of luck to you and Mike both! Greif and your mental health are hard and very important to deal with. Take it one day at a time, and you'll get through.
I completely get it! Grief is hard. I have been in and out of grief counseling so much the last 10 years at this point I am just going to continue because I am working on being assertive as well. I am one of the ones that will be glad Bumble is back bugging you. 😁
Before my husband and I got married we actually broke up for a year and took time to connect more with our spiritual selves. During that time we realized that we really loved each other and wanted to build a life together. We have now been married for 20 years. I wish you the best. Do what works for you! I wish you health and healing!
It’s Sunday the 23rd. Hope the move went off without a hitch! Moving is a lot of work. Sending good vibes your way! Hugs and love
Cute spread. Good luck on your move. Hang on in there. You’ve got this.
Praying for both yours and Michael’s strength to endure. Grief is a heavy burden to bear and I’m sure, because he loves you, he grieves with and for you. But the best thing you guys can do is the best thing for you and your relationship. We support you Mary Ellen and we are here with no judgement or negativity. 🤎
This sounds like a courageous decision. You must both love each other very much. I can only hope that if I were in the same position I could make an equally brave choice. Life takes us places we never expect that we will go. My best to you both.
I hope you are well soon. I am going through a bought of deep depression myself due to an error that took place during a surgery at the beginning on September. So I know how hard it can be. Best wishes to you.
God bless you as you deal with this. You are very gracious to share parts of your life with your followers, and please know you have prayers and support. I hope that your creative business brings some joy during this.
I admire your honesty so much. For you and Mike to realize there were some issues to be worked out before you get married is so smart and insightful. I wish you the best of everything ❤️
Good luck to you Mary Ellen. I hope everything works out for both of you.
I think its very wise, the decision yall are making. You for sure need your time to heal from all your loss. I understand, the last 5 years my mom (and me) lost 2 of her brothers, 1 nephew, her husband, her son , and her dad. Each year was a loss. So yeah I understand.
I’m so sorry you’re going thru so much! Atomic Habits is one of the best productivity books I’ve ever read. As a planner, I’m sure you’re already doing or have done a lot of the things he suggests. You can still be a minimalist and have a lot of stuff. “A lot” is subjective. Minimalism is about having stuff you actually use. So even if it’s a lot, if you use it and it brings you joy then you can keep it.
You are a remarkable and resilient woman! Hoping your move goes smoothly and that you and Ally love your new place! 💙💙💙 Personally speaking, we got rid of 90% of our things when we moved and it’s so lovely living clutter free! (Not counting my planner supplies 😂)
I'm so sorry to hear about some of the hard stuff you have going on. My heart goes out to you, and I wanted to comment since you asked if anyone has been through taking a sorta-break. I actually did 2 years ago with my then-fiance. My family thought they saw some red flags, which later was cleared up as a huge misunderstanding due to him going through some really hard stuff with his family almost dying in a terrible car accident. Unfortunately, I had some doubts of my own since we're SUPER different in personality, and ended it pretty abruptly and even canceled the venue without telling him (that was a HUGE mistake to do without talking to him first, and really hurt him). We took 2 weeks apart of no talking and then I went to be with my family for Christmas for 2 more weeks to work through it. We went through some counseling, both together and separately, which really really helped us work things out. Eventually, we got back together, after 2 months, and are happily married now. It's still sometimes a struggle to work out our personality differences, but here's what really helps us:
1. We talk everything out and are very real with each other.
2. We're both working to see things from each other's POV.
3. We communicate in the way each of us needs. (He's far more sparse with his words and I'm very emotional and wordy.)
4. We make it a point to hang out/make it an intentional date at least 1-2 times during the week and once on the weekend.
5. We give each other space after work to decompress.
6. We go to Church together.
I am so grateful we didn't throw it all away because it made our relationship stronger. I really hope you work things out with Mike and that you can make it work. I'm rooting for you Mary Ellen!
Hay Lady, my hubby of 30 + years have separated on more than 1 occasion the last time we separated was the final time and I can say we are closer and more in the love now than I ever thought we would be in our 60's. If you and Mike are meant to be it will all work out, I wish you much love and happiness
Praying for you and Mike. You have a community that loves and supports you.
Bless your heart. I suffer with depression too. I lost my husband of 42 years in 2014. It's alot to go through. I wish you the best with your future, wherever it takes you. Take care of you!
I am just now watching this, after your comment in the sticker storage organization video. Please know that should take as much time as you need. You've gone through some real hum-dingers, there is no playbook for dealing with grief. I'm hoping and praying that your creative endeavors will help in your journey. Thank you for sharing your story and being authentic. Love you lady!
Thank you! It definitely is a journey. I keep pushing but it’s really hard sometimes
@@PlanningwithBumble ♥️
What an incredibly strong and important decision to make! Relationships are work and grieving is work. Taking a break before you get married to take care of your mental health, will strengthen your relationship with yourself and Mike in the run.
I've sorta been in this situation. My husband and I had been together 7.5 years and married 4 years. We brought a lot of baggage into our marriage that we weren't even aware of until we were married. We are also high school sweethearts and had hit that weird stage where we had to decide whether we were growing up together or apart. We separated, honestly with the intention of getting divorced, but that separation gave us the distance we needed to evaluate what we really wanted and work on ourselves individually. After a few months, we decided to start kinda slow and "date" again.
We're still together, happier than ever, and celebrated our 15yr wedding anniversary this year. We still have our issues like any couple, but we've learned how to better communicate and work through things together. I can't imagine doing this crazy life thing with anyone else. ❤️
My husband and I had both been through a divorce. His first wife cheated on him, and mine was abusive. We were getting serious and decided to take about 3 weeks and not really talk to each other, but really do some soul searching and praying about our possible future together. Since we both had children from our first marriages, they were to be considered. Fast forward, my husband and I have now been married for 34 years now and I'm so glad we took that time. I'm sorry you are going through this, but definitely better to do the soul searching and taking the time now, before you officially get married. It can save you from possible heart aches in the future...and you've had enough of them.
Mary Ellen you bring so much to all us, and your honesty about your life helps us all, too.
Finally I am catching up on RUclips and wowwy wow such changes. First off I have to say I am so excited for this new journey your starting on! Such a gift in this crazy world we are in and as you work through the path you have been working through. I am so thankful for you, meaning the person you are and how you share your gifts with us and the world. You say that this time out is not “traditional”, we darling lady this is not the 50’s. Nothing in todays world is traditional. Traditional will never work today. I have to admit that I am envious then I am now finding such an amazing man and after this time out is over this relationship is going to be unbelievable. Plus with your inner work and all that bright light is going to bring the world so much magic that only you bring. I am always here celebrating the good times, and always sitting with you through the hard times even if it’s in quiet, and surrounding you with love and light. Sweet lady this is so exciting… sorry I am super excited for this journey.
I’m loving hearing Bumble! I have missed this little girl speaking her mind! 😊
I haven't! Haha
@@PlanningwithBumble 🤣
Thank you for sharing, Mary Ellen. I hope you receive and feel all the love, care and support you need everyday, from those surroundings you in person, and from afar. ❤
My dr just recommended grief therapy for me bc I had a miscarriage in June after 7 years of trying so it is very hard and like you said life throws curve balls! But yes gotta take time sometimes! And don’t worry ab what you’re doing I salute you for doing this- and I’ll just say, y’all agreeing together as a couple to do this shows the strength and ability to communicate you will have in your marriage and this will make it even better! 💜#youdoyouboo #yallgotthis 😊
I totally understand what you said here, especially about taking action right after a loss. I lost my Mom last year and threw myself into charity work with an organization I love. I couldn’t focus and work much, but I could be creative and feel useful to others through my volunteering.
I am now in the phase of pulling back the amount of volunteering and refocusing my energy to those things that help me. One might say I’m being selfish, but I need this right now.
Always listen to your heart, only you know what’s best for you. Grief is like nothing else we will ever experience in our lives, so don’t listen to well-meaning people’s suggestions of how to “snap out of it.” Only you know what you need and when. Grief has no time limit.
Honestly take all the time needed to heal completely. Put all your stuff in storage don’t leave it there. If everything works out you can move it back but in case the result is to end the relationship you won’t have to go through that HARD part which could add to the stressors. Pray all goes well for you Mary Ellen
To me... It sounds like you two made a very mature choice. Unconventional or not - you aren't giving up on one another but SOMETHING had to change. I get that better than anyone. I tried explaining it to my soon to be ex fiance... I tried to tell him this is what I needed and he wouldn't give me that space and now we barely speak to one another, while living together with his parents. I'm not happy, I can't seem to move forward... Etc. You don't have to explain your situation to a single person.. you don't owe anyone that part of your life... You give more than enough of yourself and if people give you even more grief than you've already been through the last few years -- then those people are not needed in your life... Block and remove.. I pray your heart heals and you take the time to really care for yourself and heal over your hurt. If I know one things, your baby boy and husband wouldn't want you living your life feeling the way you do - they would want you happy, in love, and in peace. Stay strong. Thank you for sharing your life with us, even while going through all this.... I can barely get out of bed most days so you are absolutely an inspiration.
Love this page and it gives me inspiration since we are moving this weekend as well..I would personally be interested in your "what you bought list" and I have been eyeing a Ninja coffee maker but don't know anyone that has one which you tend to get different feedback from vs the posted reviews
I have said before and will say it again, I love your heart and your transparency - grief can be a beast, my husband passed 8 yrs ago and I still have my days. Much love and prayers for you on this journey Mary Ellen! 💜
I listened to the autio book of Atomic Habits in 1.5 days. Its such a GOOD BOOK!!!!!! I just downloaded some of the printables and going to add them to my planner then I'll listen to the book again. I just got a hard copy so thinking of reading it also.
Choosing to remove yourself from a less-than-ideal situation early-on can be LIFE-SAVING. You'll get some relief and perspective. We love you Mary Ellen, and support you a 100%🥰 Also, 'Atomic Habits' is GREAT and makes it EASY to make huge changes. Please let us know what the new PO Box is so we can send cards!
I totally get it, when my fiancé lost his job at NASA he moved in with me instead of being happy I was crying bc I felt it was the beginning of the end. Idk why I felt that but in my case it was. We lived together for 10 months then we broke up for good. I knew it. I was completely broken but I knew it was for the best. Relationships are hard. We had great times the best times tbh. You do what’s best for you. I’m not saying y’all will break up for good I’m saying every relationship is different this will be a positive thing for you both. My ex had a drinking problem that I didn’t know about till I was with him 24/7. Enjoy your time with your daughter. You and Mike are great together from what I can see. I wish a smooth transition into your new place ❤
My condolences to you and your family!
I love your honesty and vulnerability here. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you and Mike. Sending you prayers for your personal healing
You are such an inspiration to this community! Personally I too am going through an incredibly difficult season. Because of your videos and content I am taking care of my mental health, I’m not putting pressure on myself or beating myself up for not being in my planner right now. Also I’ve struggled my whole life with emotional eating and I am doing so well at not feeding my feelings. I too am reading Atomic Habits, I’m about halfway through and it’s so therapeutic. It has really helped me to stop and slow down. Really be intentional in so many areas of my life. I think it’s a book I will come back to because there’s so much to unpack.
Mary Ellen: Contrary to popular belief, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. I wish you booth happiness and healing. ❤️
It may not be “conventional “ but if it works for y’all, that’s all that matters. I’m glad you have a supportive family to help you navigate these stressful times. Sending you positive vibes ❤
I'm going to be moving from central Texas to New Hampshire. I have been scouring the internet for moving lists and then I come on here and there you are yet again to brighten my day and educate me
Praying for you as you navigate this time in your life. I will be praying that you find the answers you need to live a happy peaceful life whatever that looks like for you. Was so glad to see that you posted a new video. Always enjoy watching you create spreads no matter what the topic.
So glad you are doing what you need to do.
It doesn’t matter if we do agree with your decision. Glad that you said that because it’s true. Taking a step back to figure things out is great. Glad you decided to do that and the fact you’re doing this with your daughter will help you heal too. Life is unexpected the journey will always continue and change 💕
Sending you, Mike, and your whole family healing, and positive thoughts. ❤
Stay strong. Wishing you the best.
This move means you respect and value the relationship and have respect for each other to be able to put in your all. I understand why you made that decision. I love that you have a positive outlook on this big decision. I hope this time apart will help you and y’all’s relationship become strong.
Well, im married already and I’m also a traveler for my job. When I left for my last assignment, I was dealing with a lot of big feelings and trying to heal from my PTSD. I was away from home for 9 months. I spent the time I wasn’t working, healing. I came home for the summer and I felt much more refreshed and, like you said, able to show up more for my family and husband. We still talked and saw each other on some weekends, but for the most part we were apart. Sometimes we need that time away to get some relief from the constant overwhelming feelings. I hope you can use this time to heal!
I pray you get through your grieving. It is not a good thing for your mental health, speaking from experience. Prayers for you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thoughts and prayers to you. God Bless
I actually know a few couples who live separately and always have and have been together for years (for some even decades) . It's not unheard of and often works well. I see nothing but positive and happy things for you ❤❤❤
I have known multiple couples that have had a gap or break and got back together and married. My cousin postponed her wedding (you know the older relatives had a lot to say on the subject ) they are happily married for at least a decade.
I am so excited to try out the letters on ruler trick. I want to put labels on everything
We are all praying for you Maryellen ...