Zach Doesn't Like the TSA - Campfire Stories
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- Опубликовано: 16 дек 2024
- Traveling by air isn't always easy, especially if you have seven knives hidden on your person.
/ mikeburnfire
/ zach_hazard
/ mikeburnfire
Nonstop - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons...
They stole my licensed drugs because my license was laminated and they didn't think it was real.
Peak TSA hours right there
@anusername8350
Ikr
Probably sold it.
Is that like a joke, or did that actually happen?
They probably went into the inspection room to test them out
Infinitely funny that Zach says there are too many names for medieval weapons while also knowing every name of every gun produced in the past 150 years. Along with a little story about each gun's unique design features.
The different types of Autism sometimes do not overlap.
@@RaffinariI thought the same exact thing
'You just activated my autism' is more of a threat then you could possibly imagine.
As someone with autism, yeah.
Its either Domain Expansion, Requiem, or Supreme King Z-ARC
As a guy with autism it 100% is
@RainbowGod666 LMFAO, the best description i've ever heard of it yeah
You pressed the autism button... shouldn't a did that
@RainbowGod666 or if your old like me A.T. Field
Nah nah he can't join the army, cuz he'd punch out the drill sergeant when he starts yelling in his face. He sees red and loses control when he gets angry too!
I bet he would be promoted on the first day for punching the drill sergeant too and everyone would talk about how cool he is
See I never understood that sentiment. I’ve always said that I could never join any branch of the military cause I’m an emotional softy and the moment I get yelled/screamed at, I’m liable to start sobbing
@@doctorbepperisvods4536 same.
I prefer my ass remaining unkicked
@@doctorbepperisvods4536 This happens A LOT more than you would think.
I am loving this new "cut to skit" approach. Keep it up!
family guy cutaway gag
reminds me of the jmainia animations of them
its like a family guy cutaway except its relevant to the subject matter
TSA misses so much shit too, back in the early 2010's, I was cleared through airport security with a full Zippo, folding knife, and a can of red bull. Went through the scanner and it didn't get flagged at all. I didn't realize I left all that in there until after I got to my destination.
I went on a flight in 2018 and they let me take an entire spray can of body deodorant on board in my carry on.
The TSA at my destination at least caught it on my flight out.
But don't dare bring a bottle of mouthwash, because that's the thing i got "busted" for before i knew flying rules, and they flagged me immediately. Fun fucking times.
I have only flown 4 times in my life, and every single time I have accidentally boarded the plane with a multi-tool in my carry-on that TSA also didn't notice was in there. I put them in my checked bag for the return flights, of course.
In my defense, most of my bags probably have a multi-tool in them because I almost never fly, but I used to go camping a lot before I got a CPAP machine.
The TSA doesn't actually do anything- it just LOOKS like it does stuff.
The things you'd expect to do stuff don't. And yet, airplanes still have tons of other features that keep it safe.
TSA could be entirely removed and everyone would be better off. Seriously.
Edit: wait until y'all hear about how the airports still get paid for "baggage" to help bounce back...
from 9/11.
23 years ago.
That's right, the US government still spends billions of dollars (that could be spent on that communist thing called healthcare for the masses) on fucking *airports*. *for-profit companies*.
@@TundraTurnipwe were safer without them.
I read a book by a former airport security guard at Frankfurt airport in Germany, and the things that can and can't be put on planes are... weird. His comment was "sure, the horn of a goat can come aboard, but if you attach a bicycle bell, it may be a different situation entirely."
Also: you can't bring a knife onto a plane. But airlines INSIST on giving their passengers proper steel cutlery for their in-flight meals.
Now, you may think: "but how does that make sense, if they'll just *give* me a knife?" But ah, the airlines thought of that! They do *not* give you a knife. It may look, feel, taste, smell, handle, and sound like a knife, but it is, in fact, not a knife! It is a butter spreader! Which is a different matter entirely and thus no issue at all!
And regarding the "flashlight salesman" bit: the book also included a saleslady going through the security check... with an odd wired contraption...
It was for electricity play. She was a sex toy saleslady.
Reminds me of a George Carlin bit where you're not allowed to bring a knife on-board, but they give you a fucking knife! It's only a table knife, but you could kill someone with that if you really hated the bastard.
@@RKDxNT3000To be fair you could hurt someone with your hands if you were strong enough
@@mid1429 Exactly. Airport security doesn't exist to get rid of everyone who wants to hijack a plane, because doing that is impossible. It exists to limit the amount of totally inept dumbasses doing it.
The author described a Yakuza going past his checkpoint, with totally unremarkable bags. And he said that that man, naked, was likely more dangerous than any number of tourists taking on things officially classified as "weapons" would be.
Shhh don't tell them that or they might get ideas and make us all use those plastic prison cutlery instead.
Not that I don't agree with the premise, but what bougie ass planes are you flying on? They don't feed us shit
From what I remember of the "No Lithium batteries in the checked bags" thing, it's less because they can't figure it out until it's too late that it's on fire and more than the environment of the cargo hold itself is more conducive to causing a lithium battery to spontaneously explode (Lower pressure and notably colder and therefore more ambient humidity). It may be surprising to hear that the cargo hold is still pressurized, especially on passenger airplanes, but the pressure is lower than the passenger cabin from what I remember reading.
That's exactly it. Plus passenger aircraft tend to not have fireproof liners around the cargo hold or the fire extinguishing/suppressing equipment that cargo converted versions are equipped with. There was a UPS plane that was bought down fairly recently because a crate of Lithium batteries caught fire in the hold.
The cargo hold should be the same pressure as the cabin because it’s in the same pressure envelope. Where the floor meets the wall are panels called “dado panels” I think, which have been designed in since a bunch of DC-10s had cargo door failures in the 1970s. The pressure in the hold would immediately drop below the cabin pressure and it would collapse the floor AND tear out passenger seat rows over where the door used to be. It should be the same pressure, because the floor is not designed to maintain the cabin air pressure.
huh, neat. my local airline prohibits taking batteries over 10k mAh(I think, it might be less) into the passenger bay, but it's totaly okay to bring even more in the cargo hold
TSA going back to hill billy war gaming in ww2. Idc if that's offensive anymore as I'm also dealing with a failed cargo loader as a neighbor who keeps trying to break into other people's apartment?! I wish New York would let up gun laws a bit so I can save both my luggage and building from an inmate escapee.
At that point, you print off the webpage that states that it meets the TSA requirements and hand that over when the Jack gets denied
And their response *No I don't like it*
TSA officer here. Can someone show me exactly what this tool looks like? I've searched for "jack multitool" and the primary result looks like a miniature machete, which very obviously is a prohibited item. So I am assuming it's not that.
@@VanGeo1 he shows an image of it on-screen at 1:50
@@VanGeo1 They show an image at 1:52
@@vahannema Ah thank you. And yeah I can see that being prohibited due to how closely it resembles a knife (and even some self defense weapons). While it is technically not a knife, it's close enough in appearance to one.
I once went through hotel security with this Butterfly Knife style comb (basically flip out comb like an actual butterfly knife.) I forgot i had it in my bag from my last outing and when i put the bag on the conveyor belt to check inside the contents, one of the guards pulled me aside and said "Excuse me, guest can you please open your bag" while 4 other guys and a guard dog encircled me like they were ready to just knock me down and arrest me. I told them comically it was just a comb and demonstrated it by flipping out the butterfly knife comb and combing through my hair. Thankfully all the guards relaxed and we had a good laugh about it. I was allowed to keep it in my bag but to never take it out. I kinda relate to the whole bringing weird stuff in bags that get stopped over by security, but thankfully never to the extent Zach did having bayonets and several kinds of flashlights inside them.
I swear this was a thing in Redline
@@XenomorthianIt was. OP is just spouting shit
"give me your water! Oh cool an AK bayonet."
When I was 20 I moved across country. I had soooooo many clothes I absolutely stuffed my suitcase with layers and layers. When checking the bag I said "sorry it's so heavy! I packed it so full it might explode!" An absolute joke, meaning absolutely nothing.
After we got through, my brother was like "Ummmmm you probably should choose your words better in the future..." I was like huh what do you mean? My ignorant mind couldn't think of why that would be bad. When we got to our location. My lock on the suitcase was broken and there was a notice saying "TSA has personally inspected this article of luggage"
The best way I ever heard the definition of the TSA explained to me was in 2 words "Security Theater"
yup, or security farce.
Because of my family I’ve only ever had one issue with the TSA. I was transporting a replica 1859 army revolver. Because it was a non functioning replica it was in an unlocked case inside a checked bag. I told the counter agent about it. I told the agent working the checked bag X-ray about it. Apparently he didn’t tell anyone else. I got pulled out of line to explain myself. Having to explain that the gun replica is non functioning to a TSA agent who takes his job too seriously will forever exist as a special circle of hell for me. I ended up missing my flight home because “it’s not a gun it’s a non functioning replica” was apparently not good enough of an explanation.
@@aetholus2982 It's because there isn't a good enough excuse. We specifically have a rule about replica weapons.
@@VanGeo1 Then somebody should have fucking explained that at the three other points they were made aware of the item BEFORE getting taken out of line. Not our fault you guys can barely do a half-assed job. I'd call it security theater, but that'd imply that someone might actually WANT to see it.
@@jameji_phd And it's not our fault that you lack common sense to know to look up our guidelines on transporting firearms (including replicas) before trying to put your item through security.
@VanGeo1 how about you make a video about all the rules
@@VanGeo1 He followed those rules, numbnuts - did you not read it was a _checked_ bag?
Speaking of the rules, it _really_ doesn't help that the TSA's own website basically says, "Yes, you may bring replicas in checked baggage, but also read the rules concerning transportation of firearms." Why do we need to read those rules if it's not a functioning firearm? Are you saying it should be treated like a firearm, or that it should be declared? WHY DOESN'T IT JUST SAY THAT THEN?! These things need to be laid out plainly and explicitly, not be vaguely alluded to - this is why you have so many stupid problems, this system sucks.
Shout-out to Denver TSA for confiscating my tiny container of Chipotle salsa instead of letting me put it on my Chipotle bowl (It was under 3 ounces btw), as well as a container of clotted cream. Like yeah guys, these are the key ingredients to a bomb.
Meanwhile Houston TSA let me bring a whole switchblade in my tiny backpack and didn't bat an eye.
U said it right there “bomb ingredients”
Houston tsa once let me bring a bullet through. Got held up when landing in maine tho.
I mean you're the one eating Chipotle, when you add on e coli that's when it becomes bomb material
I love the defense of immediately going into fact-dump mode to overcome someone else's pettiness. Good job Zach!
I never fly but I do fear accidentally forgetting, like, ammo in a bag and going through TSA. I mean, I already drove 1000 miles from West Virginia to Maine and didn't realize I had live .22 rounds just rolling around in my backpack until like 4 days into our vacation.
You were in Maine? I don’t think that’s an issue, Maine has permitless carry over. 21. Probably woulda gotten fucked in mass, but NH and Maine are cool
@judgemental9253 Maine wasn't the problem, it was the other states I drove through that could have been a possible issue.
But its mostly that, if i was flying, I would have been in trouble because of it.
TSA officer here: here is our procedure for if we discover ammunition in a passenger's bag:
"Sir. This can't go. Do you want to take it back out and dispose of it? If not, we will dispose of it for you."
I had kids in my high school who'd use their book bags for hunting trips and forget their hunting knives in the bag. It was so common the school made it policy that they'd hold on to it in the office until the end of the day with no fuss.
@@VanGeo1 That was pretty much my guess. That it'd go down just like every time I forgot I had a box cutter in my back pocket at the airport or courthouse. Never been any big fuss, except I usually wind up having to abandon it if I'm in a hurry.
Of course they wouldn't let you bring a vehicle jack onto an airplane. You might end up doing some High Jacking!
There was also a Tom Clancy book back in 1994 where a pilot crashed his plane into the capitol. Apparently while doing research for the writing, he talked to a guy in the Air Force, who basically said "If there was a plan to deal with someone crashing an airplane like that, It'd be secret and I wouldn't be able to talk to you about it, but to the best of my knowledge we've never looked at this before."
There were at least two other government people who thought up the idea of weaponizing a plane crash and thought it should be prepared for, but apparently national security people didn't think it was something to take seriously.
Also just operation northwoods happened
This happens a lot. Someone thinks something might be a legitimate threat, some knobhead with 30 years experience says "nah can't happen, never happened before"
And then it does
I had a engineer job one time where I had to travel a lot going to different factories to work on different projects they were setting up and the one perk that I found really stupid but still enjoyed was that the company gave us special papers promising the TSA that our bags were pre-checked and screened so we got to just straight up skip the security lines and go ahead to wait for the flight to get ready. I didn't really take advantage or abuse that privilege, but the other guys very much did, one guy like trading guns for ones he really wanted so he took with him onto flights firearms to trade for other firearms when we got to different state. and I found it dumb because the papers essentially said that the company personally checked our bags with a TSA agent in attendance that authorised us we were good to go, when in reality we packed our bags at home and drove ourselves to the airport with no one ever checking our luggage.
typical, not that it matters. it's all pointless harassment anyways.
One of my friends was a TSA employee before joining Alaska Airlines as a steward. TSA failed to halt things more than 40% of the time, he told me. The failure rate is extremely high even for higher-ups who are tested in their ability to detect things.
As a resident medieval weapons nerd, heres the definition if you'd like to know the difference between the morningstar and a flail
-Morning star: Stable, firm, ball of spikes attatched to a stick firmly
-Flail: Swinging weapon, ball of spikes attatched to a stick with a chain at the end of the stick and to the ball of spikes, and you attack by "flailing" as in the motion to swing arround wildly.
To add to that, a flail is an an handle / pole connected by a chain into a blunt piece. Some flail where quite literally weaponized Farmer tools made of wood.
one thing about flails I always see wrong, the chain would never be long enough to let the ball hit your hand when held upright, its to get that good whipping motion and not just safety.
I can't remember if it was Kuwait or Turkey... but while on the way to Iraq once, one of my fellow Airmen was stopped because one of the cigarettes was upside down inside his pack of cigarettes. They pulled him aside and interrogated him, wanting to know if it was a "special" cigarette. It was just something we did at the time because it was "lucky" to take out the first one and put it back upside down, then you smoke that one last.
It's a WW2 tradition signifying if you made it to that last cigarette you were lucky since attrition rates were high hence the term "Lucky/Special" cigarette. Stuff like that is what civis don't get unlike you and I that do it.
@@TheNinjaman97 Everyone that spents more than a minute looking into world war two, lucky strikes or rations knows about that. You are not special for submitting yourself to corporate interests with you life.
Besides it very much being a thing that is done globally. In europe for example it means that if someone else takes that last, "lucky" cig they have to buy the next pack.
@@TheNinjaman97 Hell, my high school buddy and I would do lucky strikes and neither of us have ever been in the military. It's a pretty common thing even amongst civvies at this point which is why I'm even more floored that the TSA's first thought was "that cig ain't right"
@@NerzJansch2 Gee, a tradition that originated in a _World War_ is done around the world? And it started so long ago that the act has lost the original meaning and has had new ones attached to it? Who woulda thunk it?
Seriously, though, I'd never heard the ww2 story, and it could totally just be a bs story that someone made up. After a quick search, I didn't see any mention of it happening before ww2, though, but some people say Vietnam.
The people that would do it around me when I was growing up would usually say that smoking the lucky would help them get lucky convincing someone to have sex. I always thought it was stupid. Slightly less stupid were the people that would flip altered cigarettes in their packs... though generally, the people that would do it for that reason had more than just one cigarette flipped.
I actually told an airport that if the locks on my bag were cut I'd be contacting my lawyer as this is military equipment and the government will want compensation.
Guess who's locks stayed on?
Then I flew one time with a laptop in a hard case and SOMEHOW they broke it. A super hard case and it was broken
TSA’s federal government to idiot.
I fly with my suppressed pistol fairly often. Deviant Ollam has great presentations on exactly how to do it and understanding the actual regulations.
Do you get your locks cut off?
@AHDBification Only once at Charlotte Douglas. Thankfully it's been pretty rare other than that. Though I have had TSA officers demand the keys so keep a spare set now (and I keep an airtag in with it, just in case it disappears).
ive heard several stories of tsa agents demanding that firearms MUST be locked with TSA locks so that they can have access to it for "inspections" even though this would be illegal under federal law, same as giving them a spare key, and as we all know federal law supcedes any and all of their "rules". from what ive heard, one thing you could do if they really push the issue, is ask to go with them and open the case yourself so they can do their little "inspection", then relock it and retain the key, this should satisfy both the TSA and federal law.
also, almost every guide to flying with a firearm is gonna mention what to do if you get diverted or something and have to land in like NY's Laguardia airport or something, with layover, where you can be arrested both for having mags over 10 rounds that are legal in about 40 other states, and for not having a New york pistol license (which you would only have if you actually lived there), as apparently NY is particularly known for flat out ignoring federal FOPA transport exemptions. they will tell you that if this happens, DO NOT take possession of your checked-in bag containing your gun, leave it in TSA's possession until you reach your end destination, not being able to retrieve whatever stuff you had in your bag it like a change of clothes and toiletries, is not worth being dragged through the biased courts and crucified with multiple felonies, which if you didnt know, would mean they take away your pew pews and your right to vote forever, similarly to what would happen if you were dishonorably discharged from the military.
Eight years ago, I was leaving Minneapolis to head back home and I was stopped by TSA for the most insane thing; an inert .223 round that was on my key-ring. Mind you, I was carrying an ALICE pack filled with the common stuff someone traveling has, not to mention a 12oz can of lighter fluid for my Zippo, my Zippo was in a holster on my belt which they didn't find any issue with, and a bunch of odds and ends that I was certain were going to cause red flags when my bag was scanned. Nope, not a single issue with anything in my backpack, it was that singular inert .223 shell.
What makes it a twist to the gut is that it was one of the few things I still had from my grandfather, and it was sentimental because he had gotten it for me as just a small knickknack while we were at an Army surplus store. I had carried this memento around for thirteen years at this point (he had passed away in 2005), and to hear four TSA members each tell me "You can't have any ammunition on the plane" even though they could clearly see that the primer was replaced with an eye hook, them using the x-ray machine showing that it was filled with some kind of rubber or resin, just to have them say "If you don't dispose of it, you're not going anywhere" just made my heart sink. So instead of being stuck in holding, or in Minneapolis with twenty dollars in my pocket, I had to hand it over to them and watch them just chuck it in the trash can behind their table of bins.
the bullet thing kinda reminds me of those odd stories from New jersey about people being arrested for those because the bullets used are hollowpoints. in case you didnt know, hollowpoint rounds are heavily restricted here, and only legal to possess at home or at a range/gun store, or while in transit between those places; you cant have them in your carry gun or on your person, only police can. oddly enough, rounds sold with plastic fillers such as those from the hornady critcal defense and duty lines, are perfectly fine, and in fact are what the state police specifically reccommends you use.
Fun fact, PETN looks indistinguishable from body fat on a backscatter X-ray. So you could make a fat suit out of plastic explosive and wear it onto a plane. The Journal of Transportation Security published an article describing this failure back in 2010.
The only thing that makes sense in the TSA rules is the fact that you can't have a single drop of mercury, due to the fact that planes are made of aluminum. And aluminum reacts negatively to the slightest bit of mercury metal.
The camp McCarren skits for effect were so good
10:31 basically a Morning-Star is a Club type weapon with Spikes, usually there is no chain but the head of a Morning-Star can be used for a Flail.
A Flail is basically a Bludgeoning object attached to a Handel with Rope, Leather, or Chain. Technically a Nunchuck is a Flail despite both parts Technically being Handels.
I feel like typically Fantasy flails are the morning-star style (spiked), so I get why there'd be confusion. Also it doesn't have to be an entire chain or rope connecting them; it could be a single link, as long as it flalis around. IIRC there's not a whooole lot of historical evidence (or at least archeological evidence?) for the Fantasy ball-chain-handle flail, but I don't care in regards to fiction because they're cool and can be effective; also I haven't researched it well, so don't take that as fact.
@@TristenSarelvun the problem with 'can be effective' in this context is so can almost literally anything. A flail isn't a worthless weapon, but there's no good reason to make a flail instead of a spear, hammer, or other more standard weapons, other than the cool factor, which anyone should admit is a fair enough reason for fantasy
@@ProbablyEzra The really only practical use for a flail would be for like a cavalry flail for as the name implies, meant for cavalry. Since when you hit something while your on a horse the shock of the impact is going to hurt your hand but a flail, the impact is going into the chain not the handle. Otherwise a club would be much better.
@dragonace119 at that point a lance is generally less risky, both to yourself and your horse. That's not to say there aren't ways to negate that risk, but you're adding it for no real gain; a rigid object leverages your momentum for striking power and follow-through while a chained weapon has to have a head heavy enough to make the bulk of a lance comparably negligible
@@ProbablyEzra The flail was actually more used as a back up weapon than anything.
I have a friend who worked for TSA and then became a steward on Alaska airlines. He was telling me that TSA had an over 40% failure rate at stopping things. Even the higher ups who get tested on detecting things have a very high failure rate as well.
Paper explosives? Holy shit, Inspector gadget predicted the fucking future erhmagherd!
It is possible, but it is incredibly complicated and pointless.
@@donjezza10 Yeah he meant sheet explosives, but he was probably using one of our older x-ray machines, where it was very hard to see how thick pages are in a book unless it was scanned at like the perfect angle.
I once had a comb that opened like a butterfly knife. The TSA guy checking it pulled it out, looked at it weird and I went "You can open it, it's a comb." He flipped it open and went "Sorry, took a second to recognize it. Haven't seen one in years." Then touched his bald head. Funny guy, glad he had a sense of humor about it.
10:30 A mace is a heavy, blunt chunk of metal on a stick, a morning star is a heavy chunk of metal covered in spikes on a stick, a flail is a heavy chunk of metal (that can optionally be covered in spikes) attached to a stick by a chain. A morning star is just a mace that has spikes on it. It gets it's name because the spikes are like "sun rays" sticking out of the "sun" that the main metal ball represents.
I had an early flight to Korea once from Dallas Airport, and the TSA line didn't have any of those signs that tell you to "empty your pockets, take out your liquid ziploc baggie, etc". I groggily forgot I had some change and some earbuds in my pocket, and I may as well had been Bin Laden with how they treated me with a full body patdown after I made the machine beep.
"YOURE SUPPOSED TO EMPTY YOUR POCKETS!", "Wow, you got a bunch of stuff in your pockets, boy"
Excuse me for making a mistake and thinking we'd perhaps made some progress with those stupid scanning machines
TSA locks are horrible because you can literally buy the keys to those by the dozens online. They aren't mandatory to use, but if you use a different lock, the TSA goons can just decide they want to legally break your stuff by either destroying the lock or, heaven's forbid you have an actually good lock they can't just cut or wrench apart, by cutting open your baggage. When I flew to the US to visit a friend I just opted to use no lock at all and put a paper in it stating I had a complete inventory of items and if something is missing after the flight I will file a theft report.
Funnily enough during the security check, they did a bag check. The bit they were seemingly really interested in was the book I brought along. Ran a scanner over a whole bunch of pages until they grew bored of it (because they certainly didn't check all pages) ... guess they feared I had laced the book pages with Anthrax or whatever.
Best part however was with one of my friends who was along for the trip. Return trip, going through the TSA check in Boston Logan. My pal gets to the x-ray machine where they have you stand in a pose for the scan. TSA agent tells him to take of his belt. Mkay but whatever, so my friend does that. He was wearing rather loose pants for comfort on the long flight though, so without the belt the pants started to droop. So the TSA guy starts getting annoyed at the pants going down, but my friend wasn't allowed to take a hold of them to keep in place because then he can't do the silly pose for the scanner and the TSA guy is literally standing there with his belt in his hands.
And if course there were the two airport security/police/marshalls/whatever literally ON THE BOARDING RAMP tot he aircraft who pulled me out of the string of people, asked for my passport and started questioning me where I was going, what the purpose for my flight was and everything. My guys, I already passed all your goddamn checks and am literally boarding my flight, the hell is your stupid problem?
I swear you could put every single of these TSA agents together and their combined IQ wouldn't reach room temperature. And I'm european, we measure that in Celsius. I was prepared to stress, I was prepared for boredom, I was prepared to sit with so little legroom I wouldn't feel my legs after the flight over the Atlantic, I was prepared for the jetlag. But hot damn, I was not prepared for the stupid and senseless "respect mah authoritay" powertripping.
TSA stole a pair of underwear out of my checked bag.
You dont understand they needed that more than you do
@@Sleptanimationsyeah they made a mess in their pants and had to get a replacement
They take a pair of sniffing underwear as a treat every now and then
I'm reminded of George Carlin's thing about Airport Security and it's good to see the perception hasn't changed over the bazillion years and you still get a knife on board and also stupid questions.
Mike, I appreciate the extra effort of doing the machinima esque thing when Zach tells his story. They're a small but nice addition to the story
I appreciate you including pictures of all the weird gadgets and weapons Zach talks about.
I’m so glad lockpicks are outlined as being allowed on planes because I have no clue what else I’d do up there other than work on some tough locks.
My bag got stopped for my travel sized mouthwash last year. But 2 other times, my Full Sized toothpaste made it through without question
Because toothpaste is non newtonian fluid
@@larrychilders6599 isn't there still a size restriction? Or is travel sized toothpaste a scam?
@Analog_Mind47 yes
@@Analog_Mind47I have definitely been stopped and forced to throw away a full size tube of toothpaste before
Ah yes, good ol TSA. I'm not even from the Americas and got some stories on them. My favorite was a friend of mine that was suppossed to start a job for some big Tech company. He's had everything settled, Visa, place to stay, contract for so and so long etc. Upon entering the country the TSA searched his phone, found a meme picture refering to snoop dog and herb, stamped him as potentially involved with organized crime because of that, deported him and he's now banned from ever going back. The best part? The job was in Colorado. Sometimes reality is so much better at comedy than any comedian could ever be
In my experience, the guy at the TSA who LOVES his job too much usually was rejected from the police force because they don't even try to hide their racial biases
Had a similar story. I was at the airport back from my trip to Florida. Me and my dad were heading back to Mississippi. Well the front desk called him back as we were getting lunch. So I wait for around 30 minutes. Food arrives and I am still waiting. After some time I get fed up with waiting and call him. Turns out what happened was quite bad.
My dad has this small pocket sized revolver. For a few months he had zero idea where it was. Well it turns out it was in my dads suitcase in a small compartment for months. The security found it. How they did not find it in the previous 2 airports we visited is completely beyond me.
They bring him to security and he managed to barely get back to catch the plane. They had it confiscated and one of our folks in Florida picked it up. This goes to show, before you go traveling, check all of your damn bags people!
10:25 A Morningstar is a type of mace where the head is a big metal ball covered in spikes. A flail is a mace where the head is attached to a chain instead of directly to the handle.
morningstar flail is a thing too.
Aircraft mechanic here. While they do have pouches in the cabin in case a battery in a tablet or something starts smoking it’s better for standalone batteries to be in the hold because cargo holds have fireproof lining, suppression systems and all that toxic smoke is separate from the cabin.
Mace - No Spikes
Morningstar - Spikes
Flail - blunt or sharp object attached by a chain or string
oh a flail is that floppy thing not necessarily spiked. just a rock on a string with a stick for a handle can be a flail.
Flanged maces can get pretty spiky.
@ more of a standard, not a rule. 🤷♂️
When we flew out from fort campbell to fort Irwin we had a civilian plane and flight crew. My whole company went so we took a whole passenger plane with just us. The nice flight attendant came out and gave her spiel and ended with. "And in the event of a hijackor-" we all laughed because the plane is filled with a whole company of infantry with m4s 249s. He'll my rifle had a grenade launcher on it. We all just laughed.
I forgot something important to mention. The collective laugh was maybe 50% haha laugh. The other 50% was like a sinister "wish a mother fucker would" laugh
0:13 They don't. Trust me.
Also you're totally correct about your scraping tool. Get their supervisor involved next time
Love that the campfire stories are coming back, keep it up dudes
18:44 just the quick but disgusted "ugh."
Zach a mace is a handle topped with a big metal chunk, sometimes that chunk can be rounded and ball like, usually it's got metal fins.
A morning star is a handle topped with a spiked ball.
A flail is like someone took a morning star, chopped the ball off and reconnected it to the handle with a chain.
If you're an international landscaper who prefers to fly at night, YOU ARE S.O.L BUDDY!
Jeff Foxworthy on why you can't bring a Coleman lantern and a leaf blower on an airplane
Huh, I wouldn't have assumed you'd be able to bring a screwdriver on a plane.
It seems pretty obvious that if it's an item that gives you clear combat advantage against an unarmed person they wouldn't let you bring it on.
Tools under 7 inches are allowed, but anything longer can’t go. Power tools on the other hand can’t go at all.
You can’t bring scissors on a plane but you can bring a live lobster as long as the TSA inspects it
Okay, I can bring my dog on a plane how is it different from the lobster
@@rykkerjones786how big is your dog?
@@CharizardMaster69 he's as big as a German shepard
My TSA story, i flew from New Orleans to like... Lubbock Texas for a work training weekend. Got through New Orleans just fine, but while I was in Texas I realized OOPS I had left an old pocket knife in my laptop bag and somehow the TSA hadn't caught it. Said oh well, if it gets caught on the way home C'est la vie.
went to the airport in lubbock, immediately get bag checked and the dude pulls out the knife. Told him "Oops my bad, just toss it", no big deal. While hes tossing the knife though I joked with him. "damn, you know I flew through New Orleans International and they didnt notice it".
and i'll never forget the dumb self-righteous smirk on his face as he grinned, tossed my knife in the trash and said
"Ha! well this ain't New Orleans buddy"
yeah alright chill TF out dude, youre TSA in lubbock Texas. thats like being a security guard for a strip mall.
The fun thing, relating to Zach's autism about the taser definition is that it wasn't invented by a man named Thomas Swift. The name is a reference to an old book called 'Tom Swift and his Electric Rifle', and was picked just because the creator liked how it sounded when he came across it by chance.
Reminds me of the videos that Deviant Ollam made a while ago about TSA people telling him constantly that his guns need to have a TSA lock on his case.
I lost it at "the TSA is trying to fungle my tokens"
My Dad was an air traffic controller from the 80s through 2010s.
TSA is absolutely security theatre.
I always appreciate your little machinas that happen alongside the stories Mike :3
About paper explosives. There is this thing called nitrocellulose, also known as flash paper or pyroxylin. It is pretty explosive, certainly more powerful than black gunpowder, that's why it was sometimes used instead of gunpowder. It can also be made into a sheet of paper. They could be checking for that, though I'm not sure anyone would even know what it is.
That flashlight story reminds me of a D&D campaign I was in. Where one guy found a smooth brown rock but constantly did arcana checks and took it to all sorts of experts eventhough the DM said about 30 times its. just. A. Rock.
I brought my vape onto the plane with both the lithium batteries pulled out and loosely sitting in my bag because that's what TSA said was safe. I had the batteries in a sealed battery container and was told that wasn't safe enough as they can't be stored next to each other, so I had to take them out of the sealed container and let them loose in the bottom of my checked bag. 😂
I absolutely love your campfire stories ive watched every single one of them and i yern for more keep it up!
A morning star is a specific type of mace, which is typically understood to be a weapon that is basically a stick with a heavy head on the end. Morning stars are a mace that has a load of spikes attached to the head in order to act as an anti armor improvement.
Flails are a pretty wide spanning family of weapons that is mainly classified as a handle with some kind of rope/chain that has a object on the end that would be used as the striking implement.
My friend has a story about getting stopped over her plastic knitting spikes. The TSA are so random on what is ok. Trust me. The TSA is literally just ran on "Are the people working today in a good mood?"
Holy shit I have not even watched the video yet and my blood is boiling just reading the title because it reminds me of my recent experience flying. I just had to fly for military travel and i guess they saw my ACH in my checked baggage via x-ray or some shit because they opened EVERY SINGLE ZIPPER on my entire largest bag, tossed all my folded laundry into a giant fucking ball, and then just sent it on the cross country flight without zipping anything back up again. By some miracle i didn't lose anything when i referenced my packing/checklist, but holy shit this is why people hate TSA so much. When i took it off the conveyor at my destination nearly a quarter of all my stuff dumped at my feet. It's ridiculous.
A while back whilst flying with rifles I had a TSA potato take the weapon out of its case, raise it above the little privacy screen glass, point it back down the hallway full of people and pull the trigger. One of the loudest clicks I have ever heard. Then looks at me and asks "sir is this weapon unloaded?"
Another time whilst flying on official business and armed per regulation, they tried to say I needed to check my back-up pistol because it wasn't government issued. Neither was my primary pistol! Seven other guys all on the same detail all got the same treatment and all refused while TSA potato threw a trantrum till a supervisor got free to wave us through. Dot gov didnt see fit to charter us a flight cause it was a needless expense but apparently it was fine chartering a private flight for our DHS weenie and his desk bunny.
0:30 I thought my eyes broke for a second 😂
Did you know you can take a live lobster through TSA. I has to be in a clear container and must be visually inspected by an agent
It's based on the agent discression, i swear. I have a mini pc and monitor in my travel bag. I don't even try to make their job easier with it anymore. I've heard "Leave everything in", "Bigger than a cell phone out", "Shoes on", "Shoes off but keep belt", "Shoes and belt off".. One time I had an agent pull every single item out of my carry on because there were "too many cables". I had an agent once throw away the mink oil for my boots, I've even had an empty bottle confiscated for having a "strange smell".. It was just old coffee that I hadn't washed out yet. I fly at least two dozen times a year for work and every time it's a complete shit-show. The TSA is the most perfect example of an agency that only exists to justify its own existence
Like every time i fly within Europe, not once has the security agent opened any sort of baggage to check for anything that wasn’t already picked up on the x-ray. Also the new machines that make a 3d scan of your baggage so you don’t have go take anything out are great. In Rome they even allow unlimited* liquids
Why is there a star next to unlimited? Can I not bring 12 gallons of mercury on a plane in Rome?
@ you’re exactly the reason i put it there lol
Also PSA, don’t take any quantity of mercury onto an airplane, that’s a terrible accident in waiting
God, so relatable. I hate flying so much and I always get sick on planes.
I got stopped by the TSA because I had an MRE in my bag flying home from San Diego (not military, I bought it on the USS Midway) and they didn’t know what it was. Everyone there was really confused and it was so awkward to explain why I had a meal in a packet
I scared the shit out of airport security in Norway once, working for a nonprofit that set up roleplays for teens, where the kids roleplayed as refugees, to get an understanding for what some of them go through.
We had military & police uniforms, arab clothing and a bunch of other props. Leaving one of the roleplays, we didn't check what was in the boxes we put on the transport, and those we brought on the plane. The boxes were OD green, looked military AF. (They were from an online women's clothing shop😅)
We roll the boxes on the conveyor, thinking nothing of it, until the x-ray guy turned white as a ghost. We could hear the fear in his voice, as he asked; "what's in this box?"
Turns out, we had grabbed a box full of triple D-cell Maglites, which probably carry some resemblance to pipe-bombs on an x-ray machine 😂
We barely made that flight, and all the boxes were labelled after that one 😂
TSA… the incompetent people who still want to earn their “be a hero” badge.
used to repair photocopiers. one time when I had to go in and fix one post security, tsa stopped me. despite me having the paperwork and despite me having a staff escort. they said they'd only let me thru if i dumped the entire contents of my tool bag into the trash and let them check that it was empty. i told them to sit and spin and referred my pissed off customer to them.
the idea i get, and it makes sense. the execution, giant waste of tax payer money.
Ah ha, you've just activated MY autism! A mace is a blunt weapon with a weighted head, a flail is a weighted head on a chain, and a morningstar is a weighted head covered in spikes. Basically, a mace is designed to smash armor, a flail is designed to get around shields or blocks (the chain lets the head wrap around an obstacle), and a morningstar was designed to pierce through armor by applying the same force across a smaller surface area (ie the spikes)
10:30 So if anyone is curious - and because I don't see anyone having sent this - the difference between a flail, a morningstar, and a mace:
Flail: Is the rod with a chain and a ball of metal at the end - they were from what the original flails were farming flails which got converted/improved for war/combat).
Mace: is basically a club made for clubbing people, with a heavier head to make hitting people hurt more - there are lots of different types of maces, with different heads attached to them.
Morningstar: A Morningstar is a type of mace with spikes coming of out the head, kinda like a sunburst, to stab people more so then bludgeon them.
I'm not saying it's because of my abundance of melanin, but airport security has always treated me like a threat. I get the higher security scan thing instead of the typical metal detector arch, I get scanned with the metal detector wand, they give me me the bomb residue/drug residue sniffer thing, AND a pat down every time. Same happens with my mum and sister, meanwhile my melanin deficient dad never has this happen. I was 12 years old when I was patted down for the first time.
tsa - crayon conniseurs
dont insult the Marines like that
@@Kaarl_Mills you beat me to it. lol, even marines aren't this arbitrarily stupid though.
If Zach has a P.O. Box and would like a 3 D-cell battery maglite it can be his Christmas gift
15:35 That flashlight's looking pretty sus.
AMOGUS
A flail is a spiked ball attached to a handle by a lenght of chain, a mace is a smooth metal ball at the end of a handle and a mornifstar is like a mace but with spikes . Thats the difference between the two.
Thank you, i was gonna say the same thing.
@connorbilek7289 your welcome, I have a touch of the tism when it comes to medieval and ancient weapons
cool
The TSA once tried to confiscate my laptop cause they didn’t think it was real.
wow, they didn't even wait to steal it later huh? impressive level of stupidity.
@@wepntech "Tried" is the operative word.
(It is very real btw. It is an FZ-55 toughbook which I am using _right now_)
The TSA are the forward assist of airport security.
Except the forward assist had at least ONE known instance of it being useful (Kyle Rittenhouse). When was the TSA ever useful?
@@Mustard_Face statistically between 8-16 times a day.
@@CharizardMaster69 in pissing people off?
@@CharizardMaster69 maybe if being incompetent and lazy are the parameters, then sure.
MAN, the last time I dealt with the TSA I was returning from seeing my now fiancé. I didn’t realize I would need to go through them again. (From Toulouse to Amsterdam to Minneapolis to my home airport)
But they pulled everything of mine, random searching, they got pissy over me having a lego set (fiancé got me a set in Paris) and since they pulled everything, on top of my flight being late from Amsterdam, I got stuck in a airport for 8 hours by myself. I was exhausted when I got home. Thankfully I’ve had good flight experiences and that was thankfully a return flight.
A mace is usually flanged, and is a shaped metal object on the end of a handle, usually wood. A morningstar is a spiked sphere on the end of a long handle, usually a wooden one. A flail is a shaped metal object attached to a handle via a chain. Morningstars are specifically spiked spheres, never flanged. Maces are usually flanged but not always, flails are always attached via a chain. I'm no expert, anyone who knows more than me is free to correct me if I got details wrong.
Watching this while in an airport is something else.
Flown 4 times in total, don't be an amputee because if you have a prosthetic, congrats, the TSA says your foot is a bomb. Also wearing shorts, still get the skeptic look and full body scanner because your metal limb set off the metal detector. They wanted to pull my aside for a more thorough inspection, I was 13 at the time and my dad was ready to throw hands but thankfully someone more levelheaded talked sense into them to use the giant imager over frisking the minor.
The best part of this video is not only he's complaining about the TSA but the background video is done in the Camp McCarran Airport lol
The dad of a buddy of mine was in the military and they got those big maglite flashlights. He showed us his old one and it had olive green tape around the handle with weird smudges on it, turns out they put tape around it so it wont scratch up if they knocked some teeth out of someone with it. Fun times.
I keep a Kershaw folding knife on me and once I completely forgot to put it in my checked bag before a flight. I was in line before getting to the body scanner and I chucked it into my sunglasses case and no one seemed to notice when it went through the x-ray scanner.
My mom got stopped at TSA twice when her and I went to the US Army Armor and Cav collection at Fort Moore, Georgia last year. I don’t remember what exactly was setting it off, but it happened on the way to, and on the way back. I got stopped neither times. Despite having nail clippers in my bag, and on the way back I had a 7.62 belt link that I found in my camera bag.
in a controlled study TSA failed to prevent non TSA approved items from entering the gate 70% of the time.
To my recollection, the other reason they don't want lithium batteries in checked baggage is that most of the cargohold is not actually pressurised, which can cause Lithium batteries to do ... Fun... things.
Well, actually, you Can put it in checked baggage (at least on some airlines), but to my understanding you need to put it in a special case, fill out extra paperwork, get specific labling on it, pay extra for them to handle it properly, etc.
You have to do something similar with pets, for entirely opposite reasons.
A Morningstar is a mace (or occasionally flail) with spikes on the head, whereas a flail typically is either rounded or has small nubs or squared protrusions.
My favorite thing ever taking through TSA security was one of my typewriters, I had on my carry on bag s*** was hilarious.
My dad told me a story he is someone who carries a firearm, usually around with him at all times and did not realize that in the bag he packed to go on a trip he left three full magazines of 9 mm ammo in his bag so he went to TSA with it there and back no one said a thing I find that very funny