Biden Bro Kyle BEAT the DONKEY since since he successfully made the Democratic party move to the Far Left on IMMIGRATION by adopting OPEN BORDERS by Amnesty for illegal aliens. Biden Bro Kyle Kulinski also implemented the Green New Deal by SHUTTING DOWN KEYSTONE PIPELINE because of CLIMATE COSTS. Biden Bro Kyle Kulinski turned America into Venezuela. TAKE A BOWE BIDEN BRO KYLE KULINSKI. YOU BEAT THE DONKEY..
@@davidcopperfield408I might be wrong, but I think it is. If I recall correctly, it's distantly related to the extinct Cave Bear (Also mostly herbivorous) and the Asian Sun Bear. Apparently it evolved from omnivorous ancestors somewhere in north western Eurasia.
Kyle is simultaneously overestimating and underestimating his own abilities. You're not snapping a horse's leg, kyle. But you're also not getting fucked up by a fox
When bro said i cant beat it but it cant beat me either - 3 months on a farm would change that mindset of a cow not being dangerous really fucking fast xDD
@@kieinerkeks242yeah he also would have zero chance against the baboon. I don't care how old it is. But without the ability to do at least like 10 minutes of research on these animals. Before you make a decision, there's going to be a fair amount of ignorance. Baboons are freaking monstrous
Biggest takeaway, Kyle doesn't know much about wild animals. And no chance you are going 50/50 with a Cassowary (weird bird), they are basically raptors without teeth! 🤷🏻♂️
Talking about cows and saying, "it can't beat me..." Anyone who's lived on a farm is laughing. A pissed off cow can be fucking terrifying. Kicking, headbutting, and trampling with that big body can be brutal AF.
It's funny how you both massively overestimate your chances against some creatures, but also massively underestimate your chances against a few others.
Dude, there's *no* chance you're breaking a horse's leg by kicking it. Plus they bite and can kick repeatedly. One kick to the head and it's over. One solid kick to your leg and you're disabled. You're toast, Kyle!
Best chance you have is dodging it's attacks and punching it in the nose/face, hoping it'll give up and run away. But they can spin and move faster than humans, so the chance of dodging all attacks is slim. They can also easily knock you to the ground by bumping you, since they have so much more mass than humans do, and then they can literally stomp you into the ground.
Biden Bro Kyle BEAT the DONKEY since since he successfully made the Democratic party move to the Far Left on IMMIGRATION by adopting OPEN BORDERS by Amnesty for illegal aliens. Biden Bro Kyle Kulinski also implemented the Green New Deal by SHUTTING DOWN KEYSTONE PIPELINE because of CLIMATE COSTS. Biden Bro Kyle Kulinski turned America into Venezuela. TAKE A BOWE BIDEN BRO KYLE KULINSKI. YOU BEAT THE DONKEY..
I’m just picturing Kyle running full speed at a cow then getting knocked back as the cow slowly turns it’s head and looks in a very mild annoyance and just return to eating grass
All we really need is a pointy stick and we become a lot more dangerous to other animals. Give a dude a well made spear and the fights against cows, horses, badgers, wolverines, etc. get a lot more fair.
@@zenbear9952 No, I'm the reason we're the dominant species. I own three companies that I built from scratch, each employing over 200 people, one over 300. People like you work for people like me, while people like me work hard to be the brains and leaders of innovation making technological advancement possible for the human race. So please do not use the term "we" when it is I (and other rare people like me) who actually deserve the credit for making our species dominant.
The biggest owl is the Uhu, spreadings its wings in Germany's forests. Believe me, you don't mess with an Uhu. It easily breaks your bones with its claws. You won't even know that it's coming at you being the total stealth glider. They may look funny but they totally mean business.
Cows can definitely kick your ass, they kill more people a year than sharks. Also cassowarys (4th from last animal) are extremely dangerous. They have massive claws and are very aggressive.
..... haven't watched the video yet. Just decides to browse the comments. I needed a good Morning laugh and "Cows can definitely kick your ass" got it lol thank you
@@antonlowe5370 90% chance against a wolf? I guess it might depend on the type of wolf? but say a timber wolf? I'd think the odds would be the other way around lol.
It's so true. As a woman, I've thought of it but only really because a man has brought it up. I don't think most women naturally walk around pondering "Can I take an octopus?" 🤣
Probably a psychological quirk leftover from our hunter/gatherer days. Spending time thinking about how to fight off animals made a lot more sense then.
Love your user name LMAO. I'm from the city and I know better. We need to get Kyle to start watching some wildlife videos or something. I'm worried about his level of confidence here.
Bro, there's not a 30 percent chance you'd beat a honey badger. Those guys go head to head with lions and terrorize venomous snakes. No chance they'd run from you. You'd get your shit kicked guaranteed haha.
if you asked if a human was physically capable of killing a honey badger with their bare hands Id say yes, if you asked whether humans stand a chance against them unarmed I'd say no.
@@speedy01247 Bro, you gotta correct your post. There is a slim chance you could fight off a honey badger bare handed, but it would be wise to get a gun.
Kyle would be in for a huge surprise when he goes to break the Cassowary's leg and it guts him with its talon evolved specifically for stabbing. 100% that bird is murdering you.
Kyle needs to do his research more on orangutans. That’s an adult male and their grip strengths are insanely powerful from living in the trees. He would have more chance against a wolf than that.
Yeah....yeah.. chimp tosses the gloves down, you are fucked. They will toy with you. They will rip your genitals off. Literally. Shave that hair off They look like rogan. Terrifying.
More than one TARZAN actor has gotten seriously injured by chimpanzees!! Mike Henry QUIT after 3 movies because of the chimp, which is why Ron Ely did the TV series instead. (He was a better actor than Mike Henry anyway.)
Tells you how shitty current political situation is. That we actually love this type of content as a welcome break from the regular shit and the MTG/Boebert brain farts
Regular shit is just so depressing sometimes. Or increasingly depressing. And *I* already know how fucked up it is anyway. Those who should watch Kyle's show do not watch it...
It’s comments like this that make the current political situation even worse then it is. Seriously we can’t do anything with someone bringing politics into it.
@@IpSyCo here comes our "fine people on both sides" expert. Did you join this channel for watching only animal tier rankings? Read the name of the channel
@@dylanrainey8576 Wrong. Bovine are members of the subfamily Bovina which includes cow, ox, and buffalo. Bulls are cows the same as roosters are also chickens. You have the internet Frank Costanza.
I’m a biologist. I’m here to comment on Kyle’s thoughts on various animals 0:13 That’s a European badger not a honey badger 1:09 The photo is really small but it’s definitely a large constrictor. The colors remind me of an anaconda or a reticulated python 2:42 That’s an American bison 4:45 Definitely a snapping turtle. I think it’s an alligator snapping turtle but I’m not great at telling apart the species of snapping turtles 7:20 That is a domestic goose 7:30 That’s a snow leopard. They weigh in on average at 50-120 lbs so I don’t think it would be a completely one-sided fight 7:42 I’m obligated to mention that the term “black panther” applies to either jaguars or leopards that have a color mutation that makes them very dark in color but not completely black. In the right light you can still see the spots 7:48 That’s an orangutan. Is it not common knowledge that that’s what an orangutan looks like? Kyle’s a political commentator who often mentions how Donald Trump sued Bill Maher over the orangutan joke. How does Kyle not recognize the hair color? 8:44 Yes that is a cobra. If you don’t have any weapons, you could probably kill one pretty easily but I think this would be hard to do without getting bitten. At that point you’d need to get to a hospital. Not that you should fight a cobra, they’re very beautiful snakes 12:39 That’s a Komodo dragon. Is it not common knowledge that that‘s what a Komodo dragon looks like? Anyway, they have a venomous bite but their venom’s potency is not super well known. Also their bites may also give you a bad bacterial infection 13:49 Males have venomous spurs on their back feet that have been known to be incredibly painful for humans 14:00 That’s a domestic cat 14:27 That’s an octopus 16:20 That’s a river otter of some sort 16:54 That is a bull elephant seal. They are well outside of a human’s weight class. Kyle, you are fucked 17:44 That is one of those smaller seal species 18:54 That’s a cassowary. They have been known to be vicious and are one of the few birds that have been confirmed to have killed humans
I don't think he would, since he's not that good/well-versed at historical figures, there is a really good tier list on the Secular Talk subreddit though!
This video goes into the category of making breakfast and listening to it in the background. Can't have anything too challenging when you're making an egg and bacon breakfast or an asada and egg burrito breakfast.
The funniest parts are when Kyle extremely underestimated his chance vs an owl, eagle, raccoon, and fox. Died laughing @ “if you try to blitzkrieg an owl”
This is the most hilarious thing I've seen in a while... all because it's OBVIOUS Kyle knows nothing about animals. Dude... porcupines are huge, NOT "tiny things"😂😂😂
@@protoman247 yeah, I saw one at Yellowstone a few yrs ago and was shocked at how big it was. Huge might be a little of an exaggeration, but that shit was about the size of a small bear. Wouldn't weigh near as much because a lot of it is the quills making it look so big. But yeah, I was like super surprised too. Wonder why we all grow up thinking they are small?🤔
@@AgxntAqua yeah, I admitted that huge wasn't the most accurate word to use. Also, I said that they wouldn't weigh nearly as much because a lot of the size is due to the quills. But we were like 3 feet away from it and it's definitely bigger than a beagle. Do they puff up their quills? Idk and it seemed calm but was surrounded by ppl taking pictures.
*Cows kill more people a year than sharks, my dude. Something to think about. * Technically no such thing as a "black panther" in terms of species. That's a melanistic jaguar. *Not a honey badger ( same family though ). That's a wolverine ( like the Marvel superhero ). They punk out grizzlies for fun and eat every part of a carcass, including the bones. All that might be left is your facial portion of your skull. Maybe. You're f*cked. * Horses don't eat meat but they have a hell of a bite ( they trained war horses to tear mens faces off in the middle ages ). Stallions in particular give no f*cks. Especially feral ones. You're boned. * The one you didn't add was an octopus. Depending on the species they can be highly venomous. They also have the intelligence of an 8 year old child. Chances on land should be stellar. * American Porcupines are small. African Porcupines are much bigger with longer quills. If you can get to the front of it and kick it in the face to death, you're good. * Ostrich would murder you with one kick before you could get near it's neck. They one-shot lions that way. * Otters, surprisingly, will mess you up. Especially Amazonian Giant Otters. Always in a group, sharp teeth, highly aggressive. They run the fade with jaguars and caiman. 50/50 with small ones, 10% chance with the big ones. * Elephant seal would squash you like a grape. * The mystery cat is literally just a breed of house cat called a Maine Coon. They get big for a cat ( about 30 lbs ). Your call on that one. * Cassowary ( weird bird ) is basically a modern day velociraptor. 5 feet tall, 100 lbs, 50 MPH run speed, 5 inch long toe claws. It'll disembowel you just to see the look on your face. * Most cheetahs are severely inbred and not very strong. 50/50
One way to determine a black bear from a grizzly bear by climbing a tree. If the bear tears the tree down it's a grizzly, if it chases you up the tree it's a black bear.
Kyle doesn't know that Platipi are venomous and underestinates the ability of horses, cows, etc to not only kick and headbutt you but also just trample you.
Watching Kyle rank his chances against various animals is like reading his tweet about flying over the countryside for the first time. He has no clue what's in the world outside the city. Kyle, you need to go on a road trip!
This is the most awesome video Kyle has done. But i feel he needed Joe Rogan by his side, to tell him how dangerous those animals are, and showing him videos of them fighting each other and shit
@@sgtjohnson49 "Those are mean, mean fuckin' creatures, man. 100% you'd loose. It's completely possible you'll end up as food for it's babies. Wanna see a moose killing a squirrel?"
That's a goose not a swan. Fun fact: Nesting Swans have been known to break bones by slapping you with their wings to protect their nests. Don't fuck with Swans.
Yeah you ain't beating a goose, at all. The city i live in? Yeah, they fucking run the place. I watched one walk into the middle of a 4 way crossroads, and decide to just sit, and the fucker blocked the traffic for a straight 5 minutes. Someone beeped their horn and the thing fkn charged the car. Demon birds
Snake: easier to kill than it looks. Cow: Nah, cows are faster and more deadly than they look. Panda: Nah, it's still a bear Cassowary: I'd rather fight the Honey Badger.
@Apsoy Pike lol watch a documentary on honey badgers they kill lions with ease don’t judge a book by it cover lol. You would never be able to grab them to beat them. They have very loose skin that’s why lions don’t stand a chance. The first thing they do to a lion is dart between their legs and rip their nuts right off. Yeah good luck
30% chance against a wolverine? they eat bones, run right over mountains in blizzards without a rise in their pulse, and chase off grizzly bears routinely - please don't try this guy Kyle
@@martinaustin6230 he likely did not know the animals name, but what is that ya think between the ostrich and kangaroo?? I bet it is a wolverine. badger is the leftmost one in that row, and he is underrating it too.
male platypus are venomous and that's a alligator snapping turtle, they get up to 250lbs. 1st one was a regular badger and the other "honey badger" was a wolverine. the swan was a goose. elephant seal at 17:00. next seal is a harbor seal. "weird bird" is a cassowary, their 5 feet tall and are basically lower tier velociraptors. last guy is an octopus.
I love how he's been on the internet enough to know there's a honey badger but is still ignorant enough of wild animals to not know there's also just a plain old American badger 🤣🤣
@14:39 I was screaming at the screen "IT'S AN OCTOPUS YA DUMBASS" LOL Love this tier ranking shit you're doing now Kyle, it gives your content more variety. Keep it up man!
I am loving this Weekend Series you're doing. It's fun, a great break from politics, and a good way to learn more about you as a person instead of a pundit.
I think a cow could f most people up if it wanted to. They’re usually docile, but they weigh so much you’re going to the ground if they charge, and they can then step on you. It’d be like trying to fight a car.
Any cats bigger than a large house cat are definitely totally fucking up MOST people 100% of the time. Tiger is probably the most instakill lethal and quick 100% of the time animal on here. The video of the tiger jumping and slashing at the guy 10-15 feet above the ground still gives me nightmares. That is a 600-1000 pound animal of pure death and stealth.
Kyle out here thinkin' he's gonna "kick it really hard maybe it'll run away" vs an animal that even bears will avoid. Fuckin' amazing, this is beautiful content. (100% chance a platypus can't do shit to you? YOU LACK CRITICAL INFORMATION LOL)
The amount of thought he put into each animal is killing me 😂😂
Aye yo! Nice to see u here!
Snap it’s neck
Biden Bro Kyle BEAT the DONKEY since since he successfully made the Democratic party move to the Far Left on IMMIGRATION by adopting OPEN BORDERS by Amnesty for illegal aliens.
Biden Bro Kyle Kulinski also implemented the Green New Deal by SHUTTING DOWN KEYSTONE PIPELINE because of CLIMATE COSTS.
Biden Bro Kyle Kulinski turned America into Venezuela.
TAKE A BOWE BIDEN BRO KYLE KULINSKI. YOU BEAT THE DONKEY..
Almost everything ended with "I could break it's neck"
Even the cute lil penguins
And yet he put Lynx above Cobra, Python, Orangutan, Walrus, German Shepard. And put a racoon & fox with a horse, kangaroo, and panda. ???
I’m dying at Kyle just straight up saying “I don’t know what the fuck this thing is” to a pic of an octopus 😂😂
I'm dying that he thought the wolverine was a badger
Amerrrricaaaaaa
Where the fuck do you see an octopus?
Damn, I thought that was some kind of huge spider or some shit. It looks like it's in the desert.
If he ever runs for office, I know the opposition will be running smear ads: “Kyle can’t even identify an octopus.”
"Panda bears are lovers, not fighters"
Dude, people have been mauled to death by pandas. It's still a bear
@@davidcopperfield408I might be wrong, but I think it is. If I recall correctly, it's distantly related to the extinct Cave Bear (Also mostly herbivorous) and the Asian Sun Bear. Apparently it evolved from omnivorous ancestors somewhere in north western Eurasia.
they ain't really known for being lovers either
@Dingle berry McDo I'm sure he doesn't care because it's not that serious my guy
I remember seeing a video where a woman mistakenly thought they were lovers at a zoo and nearly lost her arm.
@@davidcopperfield408 Giant Pandas ARE bears, genetic analysis put the giant raccoon hypothesis to bed.
Kyle is simultaneously overestimating and underestimating his own abilities. You're not snapping a horse's leg, kyle. But you're also not getting fucked up by a fox
Kyle: "I could go 50/50 with a cow"
Also Kyle: "there is a 1/3 chance I lose to a penguin"
When bro said i cant beat it but it cant beat me either - 3 months on a farm would change that mindset of a cow not being dangerous really fucking fast xDD
@@kieinerkeks242yeah he also would have zero chance against the baboon. I don't care how old it is. But without the ability to do at least like 10 minutes of research on these animals. Before you make a decision, there's going to be a fair amount of ignorance. Baboons are freaking monstrous
I know right it would be way easier to fuck up a penguin then a cow like what would a penguin even do to you
*ITS THE TURTLE THAT IS ONLY 70% CHANCE FOR ME*
Haha he doesn't even know how many people are killed by cows every year.
Biggest takeaway, Kyle doesn't know much about wild animals. And no chance you are going 50/50 with a Cassowary (weird bird), they are basically raptors without teeth! 🤷🏻♂️
Tbf I would’ve never known about cassowaries if I hadn’t played Far Cry 3
Hes from NYC so it makes sense
Honey badgers is going straight for the testicles. You have a 0% chance. Better prepare for life as a eunuch.
Cassowary, Emu and Ostrich are all terrifying creatures. Modern day terror birds.
You’re just jealous
Talking about cows and saying, "it can't beat me..." Anyone who's lived on a farm is laughing. A pissed off cow can be fucking terrifying. Kicking, headbutting, and trampling with that big body can be brutal AF.
Unless they're pregnant, and maybe even then, they can outrun humans too.
Exactly. Also the idea that Kyle (or anyone) would be able to break a horse's leg by kicking it is laughable 🤣
Was chased by a small herd once, literally the scariest shit of my life
Nothin tests ya quite like the herd coming at you and a small rope blocking their path to avoid hitting ypu
@@Gooner184 he is just built different
"Maybe the penguin's got some tricks up its sleeve, I'm not a 100% sure I can wreck it"
Kyle Kulinski - 2022
Depends on which penguin. No one fucks with the adelie penguin.
Alternative title: Video evidence Kyle paid someone to do his biology homework.
I burst out laughing when he said a turtle has a 10% chance of finding a way to fuck you up
Lol the whole time i was thinking of punting it
Finally the video we’ve all been waiting for
To the real issues for once.
Finally, some good fucking reporting
😂😂
It's funny how you both massively overestimate your chances against some creatures, but also massively underestimate your chances against a few others.
@Apsoy Pike 100% chance against a platypus. Horrendous venom, anyone?
that's called "not being a zoloogist and fighter"
Thank you!
@@LloxieFox Platypus can't do shit to him dawg, 100% chance he fucks it up
@@chillepalmerz You obviously haven't heard about The Spur.
Dude, there's *no* chance you're breaking a horse's leg by kicking it. Plus they bite and can kick repeatedly. One kick to the head and it's over. One solid kick to your leg and you're disabled. You're toast, Kyle!
Yeah that's like kicking through a 4x4, no shot
But Kyle doesn't have legs so thats two less limbs the horse has an option to attack
Best chance you have is dodging it's attacks and punching it in the nose/face, hoping it'll give up and run away. But they can spin and move faster than humans, so the chance of dodging all attacks is slim. They can also easily knock you to the ground by bumping you, since they have so much more mass than humans do, and then they can literally stomp you into the ground.
He also ranked the chimp higher than the oragutan even though orangutans are bigger and stronger.
If a horse wants to kill an unarmed human it can get at (which I assume is the premiss of this exercise), then that human is dead meat.
*Picture of a house cat*
Kyle: what is this some kind of bobcat? It looks small but kinda viscous. 50/50
😂😂😂😂😂
Dude just placed himself on PETA’s blacklist
This is the compelling political commentary i watch Kyle for
Dude knows how to formulate an argument, what can you say lol
@@davidjairala69 he has more takes than he knows what to do with 😭
Well, US politics is a dead-end (probably for two more decades).
I wonder how Kyle must feel covering the same sh_t again & again.
Biden Bro Kyle BEAT the DONKEY since since he successfully made the Democratic party move to the Far Left on IMMIGRATION by adopting OPEN BORDERS by Amnesty for illegal aliens.
Biden Bro Kyle Kulinski also implemented the Green New Deal by SHUTTING DOWN KEYSTONE PIPELINE because of CLIMATE COSTS.
Biden Bro Kyle Kulinski turned America into Venezuela.
TAKE A BOWE BIDEN BRO KYLE KULINSKI. YOU BEAT THE DONKEY..
To Cenk, these pictures are Pornhub.
I’m just picturing Kyle running full speed at a cow then getting knocked back as the cow slowly turns it’s head and looks in a very mild annoyance and just return to eating grass
Cows are pretty aggressive actually. 😂
Im convinced Kyle is stoned out of his mind when he does these.
I wish we could all meet up with Kyle and all have a smoke sesh
@@rogelio9907 Im down. When is the road trip???
@@KainMalice I wish dawg
Kyle doesn't smoke weed though, so if he's stoned it's on something less mainstream.
@@KainMalice y’all tryna smash him?
Low key one of the single greatest pieces of content on the Internet as a whole.
Humans: "We are the dominant species"
Also Humans: "Yeah, most animals would mess us up in a fight with no weapons, lol"
That's our secret, we put all our points into INT and crafting super OP weapons.
We're still on the top of the food chain til they learn how to make weapons.
All we really need is a pointy stick and we become a lot more dangerous to other animals. Give a dude a well made spear and the fights against cows, horses, badgers, wolverines, etc. get a lot more fair.
I mean it's true though, the reason we are dominant is because we learned to use weapons
@@zenbear9952 No, I'm the reason we're the dominant species. I own three companies that I built from scratch, each employing over 200 people, one over 300. People like you work for people like me, while people like me work hard to be the brains and leaders of innovation making technological advancement possible for the human race. So please do not use the term "we" when it is I (and other rare people like me) who actually deserve the credit for making our species dominant.
"You try to blitzkrieg an owl, and it might back down" - Kyle 2022
The biggest owl is the Uhu, spreadings its wings in Germany's forests. Believe me, you don't mess with an Uhu. It easily breaks your bones with its claws. You won't even know that it's coming at you being the total stealth glider. They may look funny but they totally mean business.
@@TheHesseJames it's scientific name is Bubo Bubo so I like it
Cows can definitely kick your ass, they kill more people a year than sharks. Also cassowarys (4th from last animal) are extremely dangerous. They have massive claws and are very aggressive.
They aren't aggressive, they're reclusive... but yes, they've killed a number of people who, as expected, were all doing dumb people shit.
My cousin can’t walk because a kick from a cow
..... haven't watched the video yet. Just decides to browse the comments. I needed a good Morning laugh and "Cows can definitely kick your ass" got it lol thank you
@@jaycam6823 damn 😬
Especially when they still run with the bulls and shit every year lol. Bulls literally impale and gouge multiple people annually.
Kyle really underestimates a horse. Id give myself a higher chance vs an eagle than a horse.
Facts
I got a zero percent chance of beating a horse, and a 90 percent chance against a wolf.
I think one punch will kill an eagle, not that I'll be able to hit it
Eagle would be easy. You might get scratched up a bit but once you get a hold of its head it's over
@@antonlowe5370 90% chance against a wolf? I guess it might depend on the type of wolf? but say a timber wolf? I'd think the odds would be the other way around lol.
Kyle looks at an octopus-"Idk wtf that thing is"
Natural biologist looks at an octopus' gene code: "Idk wtf that thing is"
"You try to blitzkrieg an owl and it might back down." This is the best quote I've heard in a long time. 🤣
the masculine urge to hypothetically fight animals
Seriously what guy has not has ran through this thought experiment at least once in their life
It's so true. As a woman, I've thought of it but only really because a man has brought it up. I don't think most women naturally walk around pondering "Can I take an octopus?" 🤣
I must not be a man because fighting animals never crossed my mind
Probably a psychological quirk leftover from our hunter/gatherer days. Spending time thinking about how to fight off animals made a lot more sense then.
Sometimes I get the masculine urge to shoot them in their hearts (with the right gun and hunting regulations of course 😂😂)
You can tell Kyle is from the city - he has no idea how to actually deal with any of these creatures and which ones are actually more dangerous.
Love your user name LMAO. I'm from the city and I know better. We need to get Kyle to start watching some wildlife videos or something. I'm worried about his level of confidence here.
Yea this video is very NYC coded
Bro, there's not a 30 percent chance you'd beat a honey badger. Those guys go head to head with lions and terrorize venomous snakes. No chance they'd run from you. You'd get your shit kicked guaranteed haha.
Honey badger don't give a shit
if you asked if a human was physically capable of killing a honey badger with their bare hands Id say yes, if you asked whether humans stand a chance against them unarmed I'd say no.
@@speedy01247 isn’t bare hands and unarmed the same? or are you saying if you literally had no arms?
@@rynothealbinoryno lol... Yeah. I'm confused too.
@@speedy01247 Bro, you gotta correct your post. There is a slim chance you could fight off a honey badger bare handed, but it would be wise to get a gun.
Kyle would be in for a huge surprise when he goes to break the Cassowary's leg and it guts him with its talon evolved specifically for stabbing. 100% that bird is murdering you.
Funniest comment on the video so far.
Kyle needs to do his research more on orangutans. That’s an adult male and their grip strengths are insanely powerful from living in the trees. He would have more chance against a wolf than that.
"I'm getting destroyed by a chimpanzee" - Kyle Kulinski
Aren't we all
They basically are us on crack, no fear, and full of steroids
Not debatable. Nobody can even argue that they wouldn't get mauled by a chimpanzee. Chimps are rabid killing machines, especially when angry.
Yeah....yeah.. chimp tosses the gloves down, you are fucked. They will toy with you. They will rip your genitals off. Literally. Shave that hair off They look like rogan. Terrifying.
More than one TARZAN actor has gotten seriously injured by chimpanzees!! Mike Henry QUIT after 3 movies because of the chimp, which is why Ron Ely did the TV series instead. (He was a better actor than Mike Henry anyway.)
Krystal’s put something in Kyle’s drinking seltzer and we’re all thankful to her for it
lol
It was viagra
@@m00nBB why would he need viagra 😭.
@@omarthescriblomale8279 hes old
@@m00nBB bro hes only like 32.
Holy shit the panda disrespect... you think 3 times out of 10 you beat a PANDA????? YOU PUT AN EAGLE OVER A PANDA BEAR????
Truly unbelievable
He put the eagle over the ostrich and the wolverine, Kyle would die in the wild 100%
7:47 Kyle doesn't know an orangutan. "He looks old: 🤣
Octopus: exists
Kyle: "I don't know what the fuck this is."
Octopus: Oh, so you're approaching me?
Kyle: I don't even know what you are.
Tells you how shitty current political situation is. That we actually love this type of content as a welcome break from the regular shit and the MTG/Boebert brain farts
Regular shit is just so depressing sometimes. Or increasingly depressing. And *I* already know how fucked up it is anyway. Those who should watch Kyle's show do not watch it...
Boebert is hot, shame her gray matter is toxic.
Your country is worse though
It’s comments like this that make the current political situation even worse then it is. Seriously we can’t do anything with someone bringing politics into it.
@@IpSyCo here comes our "fine people on both sides" expert. Did you join this channel for watching only animal tier rankings? Read the name of the channel
"A cow can't kick your ass" Kulinski. Kyle, you do realize that bulls are cows. You'd be gored.
Cows are female bovines and Bulls are male bovines. Also there is a separate animal for bull later in the video
@@dylanrainey8576 cows can gore you too
@@dylanrainey8576 Wrong. Bovine are members of the subfamily Bovina which includes cow, ox, and buffalo. Bulls are cows the same as roosters are also chickens. You have the internet Frank Costanza.
I’m a biologist. I’m here to comment on Kyle’s thoughts on various animals
0:13 That’s a European badger not a honey badger
1:09 The photo is really small but it’s definitely a large constrictor. The colors remind me of an anaconda or a reticulated python
2:42 That’s an American bison
4:45 Definitely a snapping turtle. I think it’s an alligator snapping turtle but I’m not great at telling apart the species of snapping turtles
7:20 That is a domestic goose
7:30 That’s a snow leopard. They weigh in on average at 50-120 lbs so I don’t think it would be a completely one-sided fight
7:42 I’m obligated to mention that the term “black panther” applies to either jaguars or leopards that have a color mutation that makes them very dark in color but not completely black. In the right light you can still see the spots
7:48 That’s an orangutan. Is it not common knowledge that that’s what an orangutan looks like? Kyle’s a political commentator who often mentions how Donald Trump sued Bill Maher over the orangutan joke. How does Kyle not recognize the hair color?
8:44 Yes that is a cobra. If you don’t have any weapons, you could probably kill one pretty easily but I think this would be hard to do without getting bitten. At that point you’d need to get to a hospital. Not that you should fight a cobra, they’re very beautiful snakes
12:39 That’s a Komodo dragon. Is it not common knowledge that that‘s what a Komodo dragon looks like? Anyway, they have a venomous bite but their venom’s potency is not super well known. Also their bites may also give you a bad bacterial infection
13:49 Males have venomous spurs on their back feet that have been known to be incredibly painful for humans
14:00 That’s a domestic cat
14:27 That’s an octopus
16:20 That’s a river otter of some sort
16:54 That is a bull elephant seal. They are well outside of a human’s weight class. Kyle, you are fucked
17:44 That is one of those smaller seal species
18:54 That’s a cassowary. They have been known to be vicious and are one of the few birds that have been confirmed to have killed humans
I really didn't know that 'penguin might have some tricks up its sleeve' was a sentence I needed in my life
I think 'Which US Presidents At Age of Election Could Kyle Beat Up' would be much more on brand.
No way he's beating Andrew Jackson up
Teddy 0% chance, Biden 100% chance
I bet Lincoln was a great boxer with those long ass arms.
I'd beat all of them
In a match up between him and Theodore Roosevelt, it may as well be a closed casket funeral for Kyle.
Kyle saying a cow can't kick your ass...man they swing their head the wrong way and you're flying 10ft back
Kyle calling cattle & moose "slow" 😑...
Moose are incredibly fast, agile and can be extremely violent. His ass would be skewered. I'm from the city and I know this...come on Kyle!
Have I been asking Kyle to do a Tier list of the US presidents for a year now? Yes.
Did I also sit and watch this entire video? Also yes.
I wouldn't mind him doing a tier list on war criminal Presidents; a long list.
I don't think he would, since he's not that good/well-versed at historical figures, there is a really good tier list on the Secular Talk subreddit though!
This video goes into the category of making breakfast and listening to it in the background. Can't have anything too challenging when you're making an egg and bacon breakfast or an asada and egg burrito breakfast.
Bold of you to assume Kyle even knows 1 fact about more than 25% of US presidents.
They'd all be E- or F.
“You try to blitzkrieg an owl and it might back down” a fantastic quote
Perhaps I speak for myself, but I want more content like this.
Kyle just straight underestimating the entire animal kingdom
while completely overestimating the penguin.
Now I know if Kyle and I get into a fight, he’ll probably try to snap my neck first 😂
How does Kyle not know what an octopus is??😂😂😂
LOL
How does he not know the difference between a wolverine and a badger?
“Owls are lovers, not fighters” had me dying, so random. Is that even a thing?
LMAO yes that made me laugh so hard and no, I have absolutely no idea what he meant
I want to see Kyle react to this video after reading up on those animals.
Kyle: makes these videos for the algorithm
Also Kyle: says fuck 3 seconds in
Good on him.
Love these videos, Kyle is straight up hilarious
Funniest thing I may have ever seen lmao
Kyle with foxes and horses on the same tier lmao
LMAO
The funniest parts are when Kyle extremely underestimated his chance vs an owl, eagle, raccoon, and fox. Died laughing @ “if you try to blitzkrieg an owl”
This is the most hilarious thing I've seen in a while... all because it's OBVIOUS Kyle knows nothing about animals. Dude... porcupines are huge, NOT "tiny things"😂😂😂
Oh shit they are???? 😳
@@protoman247 yeah, I saw one at Yellowstone a few yrs ago and was shocked at how big it was. Huge might be a little of an exaggeration, but that shit was about the size of a small bear. Wouldn't weigh near as much because a lot of it is the quills making it look so big. But yeah, I was like super surprised too. Wonder why we all grow up thinking they are small?🤔
They're like the weight of a beagle. Not tiny but hardly a small bear lol
Pretty sure he was confusing it with a hedgehog, somehow.
@@AgxntAqua yeah, I admitted that huge wasn't the most accurate word to use. Also, I said that they wouldn't weigh nearly as much because a lot of the size is due to the quills. But we were like 3 feet away from it and it's definitely bigger than a beagle. Do they puff up their quills? Idk and it seemed calm but was surrounded by ppl taking pictures.
Kyle should lose to everything except the goose and the penguin on account of him having no legs
L. M. A. O.
LOL
*Cows kill more people a year than sharks, my dude. Something to think about.
* Technically no such thing as a "black panther" in terms of species. That's a melanistic jaguar.
*Not a honey badger ( same family though ). That's a wolverine ( like the Marvel superhero ). They punk out grizzlies for fun and eat every part of a carcass, including the bones. All that might be left is your facial portion of your skull. Maybe. You're f*cked.
* Horses don't eat meat but they have a hell of a bite ( they trained war horses to tear mens faces off in the middle ages ). Stallions in particular give no f*cks. Especially feral ones. You're boned.
* The one you didn't add was an octopus. Depending on the species they can be highly venomous. They also have the intelligence of an 8 year old child. Chances on land should be stellar.
* American Porcupines are small. African Porcupines are much bigger with longer quills. If you can get to the front of it and kick it in the face to death, you're good.
* Ostrich would murder you with one kick before you could get near it's neck. They one-shot lions that way.
* Otters, surprisingly, will mess you up. Especially Amazonian Giant Otters. Always in a group, sharp teeth, highly aggressive. They run the fade with jaguars and caiman. 50/50 with small ones, 10% chance with the big ones.
* Elephant seal would squash you like a grape.
* The mystery cat is literally just a breed of house cat called a Maine Coon. They get big for a cat ( about 30 lbs ). Your call on that one.
* Cassowary ( weird bird ) is basically a modern day velociraptor. 5 feet tall, 100 lbs, 50 MPH run speed, 5 inch long toe claws. It'll disembowel you just to see the look on your face.
* Most cheetahs are severely inbred and not very strong. 50/50
Finally! I've been requesting this one for ages. It's about damn time
You sir are a hero lmfao
One way to determine a black bear from a grizzly bear by climbing a tree.
If the bear tears the tree down it's a grizzly, if it chases you up the tree it's a black bear.
For someone who knows as little about animals as Kyle, he was surprisingly realistic. Many other people tend to give themselves way too much credit.
Kyle doesn't know that Platipi are venomous and underestinates the ability of horses, cows, etc to not only kick and headbutt you but also just trample you.
Horses can be mean AF
I literally just said a cow would fuck him ur for SURE! 😂
@@chadlieb2437 And cows. No chance Kyle would survive either encounter if it was a fight to the death.
@@chadlieb2437 times I've been bit hard by a horse Vs times I've been bit hard by a dog are surprisingly disparate.
Horses are a holes
yeah but he can "take out its legs"!
Kyle should also do a Smash or Pass for all 898 Pokemon too. That would be amazing.
Tsareena automatically a Smash for me!
Been an long time subscriber, but i think Kyle would get his ass kicked by every animal on this list.
We love Kyle for his mind not his toughness.
No way he gets his ass kicked by a penguin! No way! Right?
@@cat-.- Every animal on the list. Those penguins fight to the death.
Here he's demonstrating his toughness in his mind, I respect the ferocity
@@muscularclassrepresentativ5663 naturally.
@@cat-.- Come on. A penguin may have tiny stubby legs, but Kyle has no legs at all. Advantage penguin.
Watching Kyle rank his chances against various animals is like reading his tweet about flying over the countryside for the first time. He has no clue what's in the world outside the city.
Kyle, you need to go on a road trip!
I like how Kyles only thought regarding fighting a gator was the Happy Gilmore strategy of taking its eye out
Kyle having a kicking fight against a horse 😂😂😂 💀
This is the most awesome video Kyle has done. But i feel he needed Joe Rogan by his side, to tell him how dangerous those animals are, and showing him videos of them fighting each other and shit
"Kyle I think you seriously underestimate the ferocity of the honey badger, absolute 0% chance of victory over that crazy fucker"
@@sgtjohnson49 "Those are mean, mean fuckin' creatures, man. 100% you'd loose. It's completely possible you'll end up as food for it's babies. Wanna see a moose killing a squirrel?"
Frfr like a platypus is poisones af and he put in the 100% chance of him fucking it up
That's a goose not a swan.
Fun fact: Nesting Swans have been known to break bones by slapping you with their wings to protect their nests. Don't fuck with Swans.
That's a common myth. A swan can definitely not break your bone with their wings.
@@michaelthechef Even so, I wouldn't pick a fight with one. I'll take my chances with the goose. Dumb shits don't know who they mess with.
Yeah you ain't beating a goose, at all.
The city i live in? Yeah, they fucking run the place. I watched one walk into the middle of a 4 way crossroads, and decide to just sit, and the fucker blocked the traffic for a straight 5 minutes. Someone beeped their horn and the thing fkn charged the car. Demon birds
We lived on a lake with nesting swans and they were terrifying. One attacked our dog because he wandered too close to their nest.
@@cyber_rachel7427 LOL
This sort of Kyle Kulinski content hits different at 5 AM while you’re doing laundry
“Moose…. Theyre slow, and they don’t really fight” 😂😂😂😂😂
Joe Rogan will have a field day with this one 😂
Joe might have a chance against a chimp given his massive muscle advantage over it
Intestinal worms aint got a chance vs rogan
Snake: easier to kill than it looks.
Cow: Nah, cows are faster and more deadly than they look.
Panda: Nah, it's still a bear
Cassowary: I'd rather fight the Honey Badger.
@Apsoy Pike lol watch a documentary on honey badgers they kill lions with ease don’t judge a book by it cover lol. You would never be able to grab them to beat them. They have very loose skin that’s why lions don’t stand a chance. The first thing they do to a lion is dart between their legs and rip their nuts right off. Yeah good luck
30% chance against a wolverine? they eat bones, run right over mountains in blizzards without a rise in their pulse, and chase off grizzly bears routinely - please don't try this guy Kyle
There was no wolverine. The first creature is a European Badger.
@@martinaustin6230 he likely did not know the animals name, but what is that ya think between the ostrich and kangaroo?? I bet it is a wolverine. badger is the leftmost one in that row, and he is underrating it too.
@@martinaustin6230 the wolverine is at 14:15
@@Cadec247 Oh. Must have missed that. Wolverine would 100% fuck up Kyle.
And they have a metal skeleton and regenerate
Lion see an ostrich: “Nah, it’s not worth the risk”
Kyle: “There’s a 30% chance I can beat an ostrich” 😂
male platypus are venomous and that's a alligator snapping turtle, they get up to 250lbs. 1st one was a regular badger and the other "honey badger" was a wolverine. the swan was a goose. elephant seal at 17:00. next seal is a harbor seal. "weird bird" is a cassowary, their 5 feet tall and are basically lower tier velociraptors. last guy is an octopus.
Bro you have 0% chances against a Honeybadger, do your research hahahaha 🤣🤣
Even lions can’t kill a Honey Badger
@@chadlieb2437 lions can, but the risk of them getting killed or badly injured is high enough for them not to bother
Same thing I just commented 😂
He has very little chance against most of these animals.
Saw this pop up in my feed and immediately said out loud "What the actual fuck Kyle" 🤣
Right lmfao,been watching vids on ukraine then BOOM this shit
I’d love to watch joe rogan do this tier list
I'd love to watch Joe Rogan react to this video
It would just be him putting every animal in the “I’m almost always winning” category
Actually Joe Rogan would have the most accurate tier list on this subject; and chimps would be at the top 🙈
He would do some ju jitsu on a snake
He gave him self 10% against a black bear, and a orangutan
The fact this video isn’t AI makes it golden.
Kyle massively underestimates Owls - fuckers are HUGE by bird standards and have beaks/claws designed to rip you open
Also worth mentioning if you beat the bald eagle that’s a felony
Well, all of these hypothetical fights are happening on the deck of a cruise ship owned by Somali Pirates while it traverses international waters.
I really thought my man's was gonna BS this. But his honesty is commendable.
the real issue is his lack of knowledge on the animals.
@@speedy01247 lol yeah. Hope he never goes camping lol
Dude, you gotta start working out if you're worried about by being beat by a penguin. 😂
LOL
I love how he's been on the internet enough to know there's a honey badger but is still ignorant enough of wild animals to not know there's also just a plain old American badger 🤣🤣
I think that other one is a European badger
You sound ignorant yourself. That's not an American badger. It's a European badger.
Kyle please do this same tier list but for US Presidents at Election Time I want to see the Kulinski vs. Roosevelt matchup
Well he's got Franklin for sure but he doesn't have much of a shot against teddy.
At least half of these there’s not a chance in hell and Kyle is casually like “I got a 50% chance”.
@14:39 I was screaming at the screen "IT'S AN OCTOPUS YA DUMBASS" LOL Love this tier ranking shit you're doing now Kyle, it gives your content more variety. Keep it up man!
Yeah me too. I completely forgot about it by the end of the video though, until I saw your comment.
"Kyle RANKS Politicians He Can Beat Up" when??
Holy shit I'd pay for that content lol.
Next time you do this do it with someone who knows something about animals so they can correct you in real time. I'll volunteer.
A hippo and any kind of bear would be a devastating gruesome death
🤣find the right cow and trust me it will mess you up
Right? Kyle has obviously never worked on a farm.
I haven't laughed this hard in a bit. Thank you for the great content
Same. I'm sick af in bed and needed this laugh
Same. Been a hell of a week at work. I havent laughed this long in a while.
More of this!! A welcome break from the day to day shit. Happy Sunday!
I am loving this Weekend Series you're doing. It's fun, a great break from politics, and a good way to learn more about you as a person instead of a pundit.
I think a cow could f most people up if it wanted to. They’re usually docile, but they weigh so much you’re going to the ground if they charge, and they can then step on you. It’d be like trying to fight a car.
Dude...
Honeybadger = NO chance of winning unarmed
a cow can totally kick a man's ass have you never heard of rodeo?
17:00 that’s an elephant seal. 0% chance you could even injure it
Any cats bigger than a large house cat are definitely totally fucking up MOST people 100% of the time. Tiger is probably the most instakill lethal and quick 100% of the time animal on here. The video of the tiger jumping and slashing at the guy 10-15 feet above the ground still gives me nightmares. That is a 600-1000 pound animal of pure death and stealth.
Kyle out here thinkin' he's gonna "kick it really hard maybe it'll run away" vs an animal that even bears will avoid. Fuckin' amazing, this is beautiful content. (100% chance a platypus can't do shit to you? YOU LACK CRITICAL INFORMATION LOL)