As a Nigerian girl it has always annoyed me how young people are maltreated by those way older. They don’t see kids as human point blank period, and they see younger adults as kids who don’t know anything. That’s why I believe Nigeria isnt doing well, the elders are so arrogant that they simply refuse to hand over to the younger generation, and let them lead.
I am Senegalese woman who will be 40 in April. My mum still treats me and my 4 little brothers who are between 30 and 38 like children because we are not married 🤦🏿♀️. She is often verbally abusive towards us and when we call her on that behavior, she claims she has the right to do so because she is our mother, she is older, we owe her respect but she does not owe us respect.
Parents would hit you for a mistake they made and when you try to explain you're back talking then when they find out they made a mistake they don't apologize
Same with my dad I don’t understand something and he won’t understand and then he’ll be quick to judge and punish me for something he doesn’t undertand and he doesn’t say sorry it hurts my soul
I‘m not African, but I do come from a culture with similar attitudes towards respect and ,let me tell you, it has been one hell of a journey to get my dad to understand that respect is earned both ways and that I will refuse to blindly respect my elders just because they are older than me in the name of culture. I respect people because it is the polite thing to do - older or younger get the same respect unless they have done something to lose that respect from me. We still argue about it sometimes. Yes, you brought me into the world and provided and cared for me - and I do love you as a daughter but this blind faith in elders just because they are elder is stupid. The world is constantly changing and there are definitely some things that younger people will have more experience and knowledge in than elders. The world would be a much better place if we were allowed to share that knowledge with each other regardless of age. Sadly, I’ve been told to shut up and that my facts are wrong because the elders said so, and I will not have that. So glad dad has started to understand but we have some way to go.
I’m so blessed my African father and Uncle isn’t like this. 🙏🏽😭I’m so eternally thankful that I was allowed to have a respectful, open conversation with all the men in my family 😊
Yass I feel that too…. In the western world growing up in a black family, the most evil shit is held behind closed doors but if I say something I’m the difficult and disrespectful one cause we’re family 🙄. Elders don’t treat me like I’m just a bother because cause I have big opinions and kinda try to bring me down instead of like shine and my own right! Both of my parents (who weren’t together) have done some really wild shit and let some wild shit happen but if I call them out they immediately get defensive and will tell me I’m older now and I have to get over it….. but my ideas on how to “get over it” aren’t valued. BUT I CELEBRATE I am the first person in my family to ACTUALLY GET THERAPY at 22 almost 23 😙😙😙 so shout out to my future 🥳
This the biggest thing I realize about elders, they feel that talking in a certain tonality with conviction that they automatically sound wise. They expect others to revere them as wise. But little do they know…there is a judgement of character, behavior and content of words that supersedes the appearance or “sound” of wisdom. In 2024, actions STILL speak louder than words.
Respect is not a right. It is earned. The Bible instructs us to respect our elders and our parents. Respect means treating people with honor and understanding, including in how one brings up issues and problems. It does NOT, however, mean that issues and problems should not be brought up. Unfortunately, our African parents and grandparents have a completely, and warped in my opinion, understanding of what respect is.
Maybe because many African parents are religious and are either Christian or Muslim. And so what if they used the bible, the point still stands that respect is earned. @@zinc35yago
@@zinc35yago Not necessarily. The Bible is cherry picked a lot of times and people tend to justify their actions from 1 scripture or what they think that 1 scripture means because of what is taught in Church, not realizing they'll get more understanding from reading the entire chapter. That's why I read and research for myself now lol.
@zinc35yago I kind of agree.. I had a convo with my mom one time. I said it should also be spare the rod spoil the parent. Just because your an adult doesn't mean you don't have to listen to anyone. But I'm sure you know quite a few 17 year Olds saying when I'm 18 they can't tell me nothing.. then we wonder why the next generation is so ignorant. Go look in a mirror damn!
Mhm. Then comes asking when am i going to retire them when they've been the block in the road sabotaging me which translates to sabotage of me retiring them anytime sooner.
Elders must ask themselves, do you want respect out of fear or love? The young generation might show basic respect out of fear, but they dislike you. I know so many young people who leave their own house or hide in their room when they find out an unlikable elder is coming to visit. When young people show respect out of love, they go out of their way to show that they care. Young people who respect out of love are excited when likable elders are around. You want respect, but people don't like you and don't want to be around you. Then what happens? The elders complain that no one calls them or comes to visit them anymore. Elders must be careful, or you will end up alone. No one will want to be around you because you're so mean and disrespectful while demanding respect.
Im Black American. It feels like we might be a generation apart. My grandparents generation was like this. You dont "talk back" aka ask question or you get slapped blah blah. Their sense of respect didnt make sense and was centered around fear. My parent generation still has some of that non sensicle tendencies, but i can at least still have a conversation *now* (not as a child).
‘You guys don’t want to be shouted at’ ????? This is so disgusting. I hate how they think they are God. Just cause you were abused it doesn’t mean you should do it to other ppl
In defence of some of the elders, “boomers” aren’t responsible for Nigerians decline alone. If you talk to some, Nigeria hasn’t been good since the 70/80s - not 2”just 20 years ago. The age limitation is showing here.
Thank you for sharing your commentary. It’s very insightful seeing how the younger generation, progress past traditional values into something they view as important, such as equality. As it may be the case, highly the case, the parents/older generation once held the same values the younger generation now holds, but had to let go of the, and confine to the ridged standards of their parents. Now that they have the power, they are reluctant to let it go. The younger generation is willing to stand their ground and not give in like their parents. Thank you for sharing!
I think respect is both earned but she also be a right. All human beings have a baseline dignity and respect that they are born with. But throughout living life after birth respect from others either increases the respect you naturally have at birth or decreases.
I have to agree with the lady in 09:00 talking. She was not just saying deal with it. She was saying there are people who won't change. So rebellion will not change them but create division and disharmony amongst the community. However as the youth see them for who they are and use wisedom to tactfully create the change you want to see. That way you are not always butting heads and that when you get older the next generation will have a different experience. If you are wise you can de-escalate situations and get what you want without "calling them out" or starting arguments. I have seen my sister talk to someone who wanted to beat her sister to actually appologising for their reaction. We need to learn to communicate better and wisely approach the elders to see the change we want in our community.
The topic was about trying to communicate with elders who aren’t open to change. As someone in a position of authority the responsibility does fall on them to make wise decisions even if it means learning from past mistakes. The problem is there are elders who are in the wrong, the other elders the same age as them know that person is in the wrong, and even people much younger know that person is in the wrong but no one says anything because it’s seen as disrespectful and that allows the wrong behavior to continue. I don’t think it’s fair to compare a young person trying to make elders more aware of their actions “rebellious”. Life is all about learning and even though some is older they can still make mistakes and need to be able to grow from that.
the woman in red wearing everything that would probably be immoral in the eyes of her own elders (shades, wigs, full face of makeup, trousers), talking about she doesn't let herself be swept by waves of trends (maybe she's surfing 😂) and the woman in trad attire saying she has no problem with nose rings because she has one????? So what exactly is the rule? One elder also hates braided hair, but the other woman is okay with it. They should just be deceiving themselves. PEOPLE before i forget!!! Y2K fashion???? Genevieve and Omotola??? Were they gen z???? Talking about they wouldn't dress like gen z if they were born now! Like brotha you were worse!
oh and i have old pics of my own aunties with spaghetti strap tops and low-waist trousers. Someone should really just hold a mirror up to their own hypocrisy.
What you do not respect will soon LEAVE you. Your health, your children, your job, your spouse!! Record # of Africans children are going no contact!! We exist to financially take care of grumpy elderly family. Move countries!!
What a nuanced, articulate, interesting and personable video creator you are. I can relate to nothing in your experience or the topics you cover, I have simply enjoyed your videos and your perspective. Keep going, we need to hear what you have to say!
This commentary was well thought out. I look forward to watching more of your videos. 😊 Personally, I have too much to say on this topic to even begin to formulate words. For now, I’ll hold my mouth (especially being a person of Nigerian origin 🙃).
It's quiet funny that we're talking if we should owe respect to our parents. That's just insane. Of course a lot of older generations are exaggerating but Jesus what are you all smoking
This whole thing was ridiculous to me. The elders think they should be handed everything because they are older. And no matter what they did or how they actually treated people, they think they are right. No one is perfect but a lot of them don't try to actually be good people. My mom would sit there and condemn others for their actions but tell her she did the same, you're now the one lying. I have lived my life very differently than my mother. I live by these words... Do good, be good, don't just look good. I remember at 5 years old my mother insisting that I lie about something. Tell that to her now, she will insist it wasn't about lying but about it being her business (even though she literally birthed me into this lie). But it was a lie I was forced to tell till I graduated university. But yet she wants blind respect and admiration regardless of how terrible her morals are and how she conducts her life. Now I'm being criticized by her for living my life "too perfect" because I see the examples and consequences others have gone thru and you are not going to catch me in the streets lying about my private life. The way I live my life, I get respect from others regardless. It's to the point where an ex friend of mine complained about people at work saying they respect me and how I move.
Our parents were not that much more moral than todays generation. The only difference is that social media has made moral failures less easy to hide.
I agree.
Bingo!
😒 That part
Yup
Preach
😂
To them when it is hidden it doesn't exist
As a Nigerian girl it has always annoyed me how young people are maltreated by those way older. They don’t see kids as human point blank period, and they see younger adults as kids who don’t know anything. That’s why I believe Nigeria isnt doing well, the elders are so arrogant that they simply refuse to hand over to the younger generation, and let them lead.
I am with you on this one. They need to leave the way, for us to tackle the problems we have. With my full chest!!!
Tbh at this point I think it’s all black countries because even the elder in the Caribbean mistreat us too
Lmao we don’t know anything until they need help to use a computer or use a smart phone
@@angelsweet9611 that’s how Haitian parents are
@@MochaCandyCane till this day, if i ask my mom to send me money, she has to write a money order she cant use venmo🙄
"It was done to me, so I'll do it to you" has a lot of parents in a chokehold
I am Senegalese woman who will be 40 in April. My mum still treats me and my 4 little brothers who are between 30 and 38 like children because we are not married 🤦🏿♀️. She is often verbally abusive towards us and when we call her on that behavior, she claims she has the right to do so because she is our mother, she is older, we owe her respect but she does not owe us respect.
Sorry I feel bad for you
Parents would hit you for a mistake they made and when you try to explain you're back talking then when they find out they made a mistake they don't apologize
Pretty much.
Same with my dad I don’t understand something and he won’t understand and then he’ll be quick to judge and punish me for something he doesn’t undertand and he doesn’t say sorry it hurts my soul
Some African parents love to use God/ religion to guilt trip their children, but will never take accountability.
And they are selective as to which parts of the Bible apply to them and us
The colonizers did the same thing to justify slavery in their psychotic minds. Mental slavery is real.
Hence why im not christian anymore. They use the bible to justify their authority to make me their slave. Screw that nonsense.
For real!
You must fight back with the full scripture because once you add context their argument falls apart
I’m African and the title alone is dangerous. 😂
😭😂
Caribbean here and my whole family lineage would clout me😭😭💀.
I am happy my parents (my mother) are not like that…
We don’t always agree on things but she respects our opinions and don’t force things on us
That’s amazing honestly
wish i could send this to my mom but she’d perceive it as disrespect LOL
🫠
😂
I‘m not African, but I do come from a culture with similar attitudes towards respect and ,let me tell you, it has been one hell of a journey to get my dad to understand that respect is earned both ways and that I will refuse to blindly respect my elders just because they are older than me in the name of culture. I respect people because it is the polite thing to do - older or younger get the same respect unless they have done something to lose that respect from me. We still argue about it sometimes. Yes, you brought me into the world and provided and cared for me - and I do love you as a daughter but this blind faith in elders just because they are elder is stupid. The world is constantly changing and there are definitely some things that younger people will have more experience and knowledge in than elders. The world would be a much better place if we were allowed to share that knowledge with each other regardless of age. Sadly, I’ve been told to shut up and that my facts are wrong because the elders said so, and I will not have that. So glad dad has started to understand but we have some way to go.
Absolutely
Respect is earned! It is never a right!
Respect is a right, you naturally should respect a person but once they disrespect you that’s when you set boundaries.
@@staay1423respect as a fellow human yes. I won't respect you just because you are my parents, doesn't mean I should be impolite either.
@@ArThur_hara disrespect is being impolite
I’m so blessed my African father and Uncle isn’t like this. 🙏🏽😭I’m so eternally thankful that I was allowed to have a respectful, open conversation with all the men in my family 😊
Yass I feel that too…. In the western world growing up in a black family, the most evil shit is held behind closed doors but if I say something I’m the difficult and disrespectful one cause we’re family 🙄. Elders don’t treat me like I’m just a bother because cause I have big opinions and kinda try to bring me down instead of like shine and my own right! Both of my parents (who weren’t together) have done some really wild shit and let some wild shit happen but if I call them out they immediately get defensive and will tell me I’m older now and I have to get over it….. but my ideas on how to “get over it” aren’t valued. BUT I CELEBRATE I am the first person in my family to ACTUALLY GET THERAPY at 22 almost 23 😙😙😙 so shout out to my future 🥳
This the biggest thing I realize about elders, they feel that talking in a certain tonality with conviction that they automatically sound wise. They expect others to revere them as wise. But little do they know…there is a judgement of character, behavior and content of words that supersedes the appearance or “sound” of wisdom. In 2024, actions STILL speak louder than words.
I'm older, listening, learning and happy to have you younger ones teach me by sharing your clear articulate, questioning views.
I really enjoyed.
Respect is not a right. It is earned. The Bible instructs us to respect our elders and our parents. Respect means treating people with honor and understanding, including in how one brings up issues and problems. It does NOT, however, mean that issues and problems should not be brought up. Unfortunately, our African parents and grandparents have a completely, and warped in my opinion, understanding of what respect is.
once you bring up the bible your argument is invalid.
Maybe because many African parents are religious and are either Christian or Muslim. And so what if they used the bible, the point still stands that respect is earned. @@zinc35yago
@@zinc35yago Not necessarily. The Bible is cherry picked a lot of times and people tend to justify their actions from 1 scripture or what they think that 1 scripture means because of what is taught in Church, not realizing they'll get more understanding from reading the entire chapter. That's why I read and research for myself now lol.
@zinc35yago I kind of agree.. I had a convo with my mom one time. I said it should also be spare the rod spoil the parent. Just because your an adult doesn't mean you don't have to listen to anyone. But I'm sure you know quite a few 17 year Olds saying when I'm 18 they can't tell me nothing.. then we wonder why the next generation is so ignorant. Go look in a mirror damn!
Ikr they just don’t get it but call us ignorant
The older generation is ignorant and lacks accountability...
Mhm. Then comes asking when am i going to retire them when they've been the block in the road sabotaging me which translates to sabotage of me retiring them anytime sooner.
So their arrogance and selfishness is now a form of self sabotage and they don’t realise that. @@samuelbeatsminecraft2049
And my dad calls me ignorant when he’s just the same
Elders must ask themselves, do you want respect out of fear or love?
The young generation might show basic respect out of fear, but they dislike you. I know so many young people who leave their own house or hide in their room when they find out an unlikable elder is coming to visit.
When young people show respect out of love, they go out of their way to show that they care. Young people who respect out of love are excited when likable elders are around.
You want respect, but people don't like you and don't want to be around you. Then what happens? The elders complain that no one calls them or comes to visit them anymore.
Elders must be careful, or you will end up alone. No one will want to be around you because you're so mean and disrespectful while demanding respect.
Im Black American. It feels like we might be a generation apart. My grandparents generation was like this. You dont "talk back" aka ask question or you get slapped blah blah. Their sense of respect didnt make sense and was centered around fear. My parent generation still has some of that non sensicle tendencies, but i can at least still have a conversation *now* (not as a child).
‘You guys don’t want to be shouted at’ ????? This is so disgusting. I hate how they think they are God. Just cause you were abused it doesn’t mean you should do it to other ppl
I watched the video. I felt overstimulated, irritated by the sheer arrogance, ignorance and even hypocrisy of the elders.
In defence of some of the elders, “boomers” aren’t responsible for Nigerians decline alone. If you talk to some, Nigeria hasn’t been good since the 70/80s - not 2”just 20 years ago. The age limitation is showing here.
They have a part in it . And they want the younger generation to change things more, but they didn’t do it before.
Thank you for sharing your commentary. It’s very insightful seeing how the younger generation, progress past traditional values into something they view as important, such as equality. As it may be the case, highly the case, the parents/older generation once held the same values the younger generation now holds, but had to let go of the, and confine to the ridged standards of their parents.
Now that they have the power, they are reluctant to let it go. The younger generation is willing to stand their ground and not give in like their parents.
Thank you for sharing!
I think respect is both earned but she also be a right. All human beings have a baseline dignity and respect that they are born with. But throughout living life after birth respect from others either increases the respect you naturally have at birth or decreases.
I have to agree with the lady in 09:00 talking. She was not just saying deal with it. She was saying there are people who won't change. So rebellion will not change them but create division and disharmony amongst the community. However as the youth see them for who they are and use wisedom to tactfully create the change you want to see. That way you are not always butting heads and that when you get older the next generation will have a different experience.
If you are wise you can de-escalate situations and get what you want without "calling them out" or starting arguments. I have seen my sister talk to someone who wanted to beat her sister to actually appologising for their reaction. We need to learn to communicate better and wisely approach the elders to see the change we want in our community.
Yeah i hear you and i said that at the end. The idea of humility
The topic was about trying to communicate with elders who aren’t open to change. As someone in a position of authority the responsibility does fall on them to make wise decisions even if it means learning from past mistakes. The problem is there are elders who are in the wrong, the other elders the same age as them know that person is in the wrong, and even people much younger know that person is in the wrong but no one says anything because it’s seen as disrespectful and that allows the wrong behavior to continue. I don’t think it’s fair to compare a young person trying to make elders more aware of their actions “rebellious”. Life is all about learning and even though some is older they can still make mistakes and need to be able to grow from that.
the woman in red wearing everything that would probably be immoral in the eyes of her own elders (shades, wigs, full face of makeup, trousers), talking about she doesn't let herself be swept by waves of trends (maybe she's surfing 😂) and the woman in trad attire saying she has no problem with nose rings because she has one?????
So what exactly is the rule? One elder also hates braided hair, but the other woman is okay with it. They should just be deceiving themselves. PEOPLE before i forget!!! Y2K fashion???? Genevieve and Omotola??? Were they gen z???? Talking about they wouldn't dress like gen z if they were born now! Like brotha you were worse!
oh and i have old pics of my own aunties with spaghetti strap tops and low-waist trousers. Someone should really just hold a mirror up to their own hypocrisy.
What you do not respect will soon LEAVE you. Your health, your children, your job, your spouse!! Record # of Africans children are going no contact!! We exist to financially take care of grumpy elderly family. Move countries!!
What a nuanced, articulate, interesting and personable video creator you are. I can relate to nothing in your experience or the topics you cover, I have simply enjoyed your videos and your perspective. Keep going, we need to hear what you have to say!
@19:53, “Primitive”. Apparently, they believed the African dress style was “primitive”. Smh 🎉
I hated how they said it’s not our culture sir is this the same Africa you’re talking about.
Depends. 80/70 were way better than now. Colonisation, u mean the 60s wasn't ever good for an African country
You guys should help me my sister has been blinded by thinking they’re just trying to teach us more but she has never been flogged so she’s blinded
This commentary was well thought out. I look forward to watching more of your videos. 😊
Personally, I have too much to say on this topic to even begin to formulate words. For now, I’ll hold my mouth (especially being a person of Nigerian origin 🙃).
Thank you and yes i understand lol i also felt so overwhelmed lol
"You people". I absolutely cannot stand it when parents refer to us as "you people" in that condescending tone.
Lol whenever someone says “you people” nothing good is coming after
Overly strict parents huh?
Yal know the hell out of this Bible and nothing about yourselves… interesting
Please link the channel you took the video from. It’s important to give them credit. 😊
Did you check the description… coz its there
@@talkswithtanyalmao 😭
@@iamchildofGod4ever i deal with so much on here 😭😅
@@talkswithtanya you dey try my sister
You're out here doing god's work.
Ikr good sent her to reveal the truth about their hypocrisy’s
#Naturedeficiencydisorder
It's quiet funny that we're talking if we should owe respect to our parents. That's just insane. Of course a lot of older generations are exaggerating but Jesus what are you all smoking
I don’t understand what your saying
This whole thing was ridiculous to me. The elders think they should be handed everything because they are older. And no matter what they did or how they actually treated people, they think they are right. No one is perfect but a lot of them don't try to actually be good people. My mom would sit there and condemn others for their actions but tell her she did the same, you're now the one lying. I have lived my life very differently than my mother. I live by these words... Do good, be good, don't just look good. I remember at 5 years old my mother insisting that I lie about something. Tell that to her now, she will insist it wasn't about lying but about it being her business (even though she literally birthed me into this lie). But it was a lie I was forced to tell till I graduated university. But yet she wants blind respect and admiration regardless of how terrible her morals are and how she conducts her life. Now I'm being criticized by her for living my life "too perfect" because I see the examples and consequences others have gone thru and you are not going to catch me in the streets lying about my private life. The way I live my life, I get respect from others regardless. It's to the point where an ex friend of mine complained about people at work saying they respect me and how I move.
This is exactly my fiancée's mother about lying and then denying it and now he's taking on that false entitlement. This isn low key triggering.