The opposite can be true too. Becoming assertive (confident that you’re minimally safe to practice per the NCLEX) enough so that you aren’t prone to being “eaten”.
I’m a former resident and I have been physically and mentally broken. I believe resiliency and “thick skin” are overrated and unreal. I am really wanting the nursing community and the medial community overall to wake up and stand up to the reality.
I agree completely. Nursing is my 2nd career. I don't think nurses ( who have only had this career) realize how toxic and uncivil are some nursing environments . It is not about developing a thicker skin! It's about people treating each other with compassion and management and government ( i am Canadian)supporting each other. I have worked in high level stress environments with equally high stakes as we find in Nursing and the lack of civility and kindness amongst nurses astonishes me. I am old enough and life experienced enough to know that something is deeply wrong with how nurses treat each other. The onus shouldn't be on new nurses to develop thicker skin.
As a new grad RN 8 months into my career in this specialty, it had become apparent early on that the largest obstacle a new grad must overcome is understanding their role as a nurse. What comes after, is understadning their role as a nurse in critical care. In my opinion, fear, disconnect, and a lack of confidence resonates from a source of confusion that originates at the root of ones understanding of their responsibilities in the process of healing clients. I blame the education process. There should be less time spent in books and more time spent in the hospital.
It is absolutely important to strive to better the profession, there is so much room for improvement. It is also realistic to talk about how to manage these environment that are the current reality of healthcare. Two things can be true at once
The nursing and medical community within the confines of the hospital business system is toxic and abusive. Becoming think-skinned, in my opinion, means not taking things personally but also means tolerating abuse and toxic work environments. I'm a BSN, RN, getting ready to leave the profession.
This is so darn sad! 3rd night alone and I cried way too much and just want to quit! I should be caring for people while constantly feeling depressed. The ironing of nursing.
I am a new grad who accepted the ICU position about 7 weeks in.. I had 2 preceptors who passed me and the third preceptor felt like I was not meeting "her expectations". Mind you as a new grad only thing I cared about was patient's safety... I had a sit down with the preceptor and educator.. and they said that I too was "behind" my colleages.. and they had a criteria of pushing out new ICU nurses in a few months.. I was kicked out of the residency program and offered a position elsewhere in the hospital. All I can say is be careful of what you share with your preceptor... yes its important to build a trusting relationship.. but at the end of the day.. they are the ones talking about you.. until this day I still dont know how I was "behind" in progress compared to my colleages.. Nursing is no longer just a are you competent to provide safe care... its also who clicks with who and if you are socially accepted within other nurses. I personally have a introvert personality but I was always respectful and asked questions about patient safety when needed... but my educator claims that I kept asking the same questions.. and that there was no progress in being assertive to try new things..mind you I am still learning everyday going to work.. I guess a nurse residency program is not much different from nursing school.. you can be mediocre in knowledge as long as you fit in with the group that will socially accept you.
Thats how it is everywhere, its not about competency or the ability to try hard and learn, its about clicking with groups. It is like this in the Military as well, I was surprised with how high school like it felt being in the military. As a result I was miserable, not because I wasnt able to fit in, but because I had to act like an equal idiot as them and laugh at childish jokes. I am entering the nursing field next year for the fall, and I have mentally prepared for pretending to be part of the group, this is only a stepping stone to CRNA though, I think if we push on with this knowledge, dealing with these humans gets easier, and also being able to help patients in need gets easier.
I spoke up about issues I had and about how my preceptor wasn’t good for me they said I was knowledgeable but didn’t have the hands on skills. I changed a patients bed slow so they tried to downgrade me to a medsurg or rehab floor in their hospital. I quit.
sorry to hear that was your experience - ideally we should have way more resources to support new grads! SO many facilities are looking to push people through
As a preceptor I can tell you that if you’re behind then it’s likely a problem with your preceptor. They should be helping you build confidence and giving you resources for any question. They should be your rock and a trusted coworker.
No one will ever see this message probably but I am in a similar situation where my manager put me on a PIP. One of my preceptor tossed a vocera at me because she was mad at the lab and another nurse told me why would I ask her to check something if it wasnt a 2 nurse check. I am very open to feedback to the point where it can verbally abusive. Needless to say I am leaving this unit. Hoping to find another ICU.
Its beyond sad how nurses treat each other. They quickly forget what it feels like to be new nurse. They once upon a time were in same position but choose to be toxic, demeaning and intense. Human resources and senior nurse management really needs to get involved if the want to keep good staff.
A new Grad on a ward is like a 17yo being taught to drive by Dad. Dad can drive (?) but can he competently instruct another? Im 2 days in & if I hear 'time management' again I'll cry in front of everyone. It's a fucking shitshow.
After working as a tech for the past 4 years and having ICU experience, I I'm going to work in the ICU as a new grad in just a few days. I'm really excited because that's where I've always wanted to be but a little nervous at the same time
Senior nursing student here planning on going into the ICU. Wow. SUCH a powerful video that called out all the bad habits I'm currently working on replacing with good ones. I really appreciated the solutions you both offered to the negative thought patterns. Definitely a video I will watch a million times again!
I feel like you guys should re release this as overcoming people pleasing in general. You two are giving me so much insight on how to handle criticism and I’m not even in any sort of medical field
This video was verbatim what I was feeling as a new grad nurse in IMU. I didn’t have the vocabulary to articulate it. I have watched so many nursing “sucks” videos, but this was the first that spoke to real issue and strategies to overcome. Because you can’t just quit, because I’m learning you can’t skip over the learning process and being new. You’ve got to learn how to walk through it. Thanks again, i just subscribed and will be joining everything you have to offer to get me through this period ❤
Thank you so much for posting this video. I'm a first semester nursing student with the desire to become an ICU nurse and have gained so much insight and encouragement from this video, especially the parts about "ego death" and "stop worrying about yourself being good enough and perfect and worrying more about the care you provide". Thank you for this shift in focus. I needed that.
This is such a deep and important conversation that does not happen often in the nursing world. The part about codependence and family dynamics that set us up to be life long caregivers... Oouufff that is real. Thank you both so much.
I started in a level-1 critical-care float pool (5 units) in 2021 as a new grad. I was a truck driver before a nurse lol. I was beat down pretty good. I had enough life experience, but I did not have the emotional and social skills to manage much of that intensity in that short of a time. I think I was literally the first nurse to accept that position with no experience. And it was nights of course. I ended up leaving and doing step-down per diem where I made $4000/wk with less than a year experience and later moved on to an ED, but I want to be a CRNA so I went back. After a few years in the ED I conquered the ICU. I would regularly receive ICU patients in a 6-patient ED assignment. The 5 others were psych, dementia, detox, stemi...
Smh I felt that setting up for failure. Some of the people in my cohort had the 1-2 diff preceptors. For my 16 weeks I had a different one everyday just about
You have no idea just how beneficial you both are in steeling up future nurses! Thank you so much...this is like medicine to my soul...we all needed to hear this and the confirmation that it offers!!! Thank you!!!
I just changed from stepdown to ICU, and yes, im struggling too.... people can be very mean, but I've learned to stay strong and resilient.... but i know it can be tiring. Learning a new skill/unit sucks.
Don’t know how I missed this channel but I am going to watch your episodes and subscribed right away. I have been a LVN for 15 years and was bridging over to advanced placement BSN and had a hiccup with the financial portion so I am taking a year off a bit. Nursing is so hardcore now from when I went to LVN school 15 plus years ago. I know once back on track and putting extra money away this year to head back in I will do it but damn I am wondering if a career change instead may be a better option. Either way I look forward to watching your episodes thank you for sharing ❤
I walked out of my placement yesterday as a 3rd year Nursing student. I am over the toxic, passive aggressive attitude of nurses. My university is an extension of ignorance. I'm 56 years old and lost 4 years of my life I'll never get back. But, I have trade qualifications and I drive trucks which I am valued highly. Nursing is a dysfunctional profession
@@2davivadiva sorry that was not meant to reply to your situation. Nursing can be a tough field, I don't blame you for prioritizing you. We lose a lot of good nurses to unfortunate situations. Best of luck on your future endeavors
Dorah I so get it. It's the profession's loss. I'm a 57yo Grad & only staying for patients; three recently said I helped them out of a depression spiral. My skills include listening, reading notes, PRN Endone, calling a doctor, winter nightie, cup of tea & toast with honey. IKR, genius stuff ... then having to tell a superior 4x that I'm not touching a PICC without competency is just bonkers.
Thank-you for sharing your insights and experiences! I’m in the very beginning stages of my Nursing Academic career; I just became an STNA and I’m starting classes for LPN in a week and a half.
What made you guys decide to be a nurse? Did any of you start nursing school without even knowing for certain that you wanted to be or were cut out to be a nurse? Were any of you afraid the subject material would be too difficult? What event in your life was the most profound in your decision to become a nurse?
Hello ladies! Thank you so much for the valuable content. I’ve been binge watching every single one of your videos ever since I came across your channel a couple days ago. This is going to be one of the best resources for those who wants to become a CRNA. I’m so thankful for both of you!! Thanks for sharing your knowledge with all of us. Is it possible for you guys to talk about how to approach ICU Interview as a new grad who wants to become a CRNA eventually? Is that even worth mentioning during the interview? Will that lower my chances of getting accepted? What were you guys’ experience with this? Also if I were not to share, how would I bring it up later and have them support the idea because I would need to put them down for reference when applying for CRNA school
An ICU interview episode is a great idea we will definitely do one! We don’t recommend explicitly discussing plans for CRNA school in your interview bc many employers will see that as a sign that you plan to leave quickly. Instead frame it by talking about the things you want to learn on the unit “learn devices, get involved in committees, precept…” and you can add “eventually continue my education but I’m still figuring out what that will look like”
Currently , an RRT student. I have 4 months to graduate but lately, I have so much anxiety about my ability. I will shut down and overthink everything. Thank you for this topic of thick skin but also for giving yourself grace. That's all. Thank you again
LOL’d at Ego Death ☠️ So just to be clear: there’s no Rx bowling bumpers in the OR? TRUTH: compartmentalization is key on rough days. I tell new nurses “it’s about your patient tonight, not your feelings” PROACTIVE COMMUNICATION!! Be OK with not being “you focused” Thank you Ladies!
Just offered to count DDs at Shift change but no, at 57 yo, I'm obviously not capable of simple mathematics? *Edit* when I know my way around the stock in the safe, then I can. Fair enough, I misinterpreted that one.
@@confidentcareacademy true, but grain of salt. being bullied by victims of an unfair system because they want it to be more unfair for you as well is just evil. it's a self-perpetuating cycle and sometimes even not ill-intended ("that's what made me a good nurse is crying in the parking lot every shift") but it makes you a cruel person
Growing thick skin aka learning to tolerate abuse in the ICU.
The opposite can be true too. Becoming assertive (confident that you’re minimally safe to practice per the NCLEX) enough so that you aren’t prone to being “eaten”.
Is that whats happening. Makes me mean and evil
Exactly. Not so sure this is healthy.
I’m a former resident and I have been physically and mentally broken. I believe resiliency and “thick skin” are overrated and unreal. I am really wanting the nursing community and the medial community overall to wake up and stand up to the reality.
I agree completely. Nursing is my 2nd career. I don't think nurses ( who have only had this career) realize how toxic and uncivil are some nursing environments . It is not about developing a thicker skin! It's about people treating each other with compassion and management and government ( i am Canadian)supporting each other. I have worked in high level stress environments with equally high stakes as we find in Nursing and the lack of civility and kindness amongst nurses astonishes me. I am old enough and life experienced enough to know that something is deeply wrong with how nurses treat each other. The onus shouldn't be on new nurses to develop thicker skin.
I met several ICU nurses that quit because of the measures. I agree with your comment.
As a new grad RN 8 months into my career in this specialty, it had become apparent early on that the largest obstacle a new grad must overcome is understanding their role as a nurse. What comes after, is understadning their role as a nurse in critical care. In my opinion, fear, disconnect, and a lack of confidence resonates from a source of confusion that originates at the root of ones understanding of their responsibilities in the process of healing clients. I blame the education process. There should be less time spent in books and more time spent in the hospital.
It is absolutely important to strive to better the profession, there is so much room for improvement. It is also realistic to talk about how to manage these environment that are the current reality of healthcare. Two things can be true at once
The nursing and medical community within the confines of the hospital business system is toxic and abusive. Becoming think-skinned, in my opinion, means not taking things personally but also means tolerating abuse and toxic work environments. I'm a BSN, RN, getting ready to leave the profession.
This is so darn sad! 3rd night alone and I cried way too much and just want to quit! I should be caring for people while constantly feeling depressed. The ironing of nursing.
Your mental health is so important in this field. Hope you find ways to feel better and reach out for help when you need it
I am a new grad who accepted the ICU position about 7 weeks in.. I had 2 preceptors who passed me and the third preceptor felt like I was not meeting "her expectations". Mind you as a new grad only thing I cared about was patient's safety... I had a sit down with the preceptor and educator.. and they said that I too was "behind" my colleages.. and they had a criteria of pushing out new ICU nurses in a few months.. I was kicked out of the residency program and offered a position elsewhere in the hospital. All I can say is be careful of what you share with your preceptor... yes its important to build a trusting relationship.. but at the end of the day.. they are the ones talking about you.. until this day I still dont know how I was "behind" in progress compared to my colleages.. Nursing is no longer just a are you competent to provide safe care... its also who clicks with who and if you are socially accepted within other nurses. I personally have a introvert personality but I was always respectful and asked questions about patient safety when needed... but my educator claims that I kept asking the same questions.. and that there was no progress in being assertive to try new things..mind you I am still learning everyday going to work.. I guess a nurse residency program is not much different from nursing school.. you can be mediocre in knowledge as long as you fit in with the group that will socially accept you.
Thats how it is everywhere, its not about competency or the ability to try hard and learn, its about clicking with groups. It is like this in the Military as well, I was surprised with how high school like it felt being in the military. As a result I was miserable, not because I wasnt able to fit in, but because I had to act like an equal idiot as them and laugh at childish jokes. I am entering the nursing field next year for the fall, and I have mentally prepared for pretending to be part of the group, this is only a stepping stone to CRNA though, I think if we push on with this knowledge, dealing with these humans gets easier, and also being able to help patients in need gets easier.
I spoke up about issues I had and about how my preceptor wasn’t good for me they said I was knowledgeable but didn’t have the hands on skills. I changed a patients bed slow so they tried to downgrade me to a medsurg or rehab floor in their hospital. I quit.
sorry to hear that was your experience - ideally we should have way more resources to support new grads! SO many facilities are looking to push people through
As a preceptor I can tell you that if you’re behind then it’s likely a problem with your preceptor. They should be helping you build confidence and giving you resources for any question. They should be your rock and a trusted coworker.
No one will ever see this message probably but I am in a similar situation where my manager put me on a PIP. One of my preceptor tossed a vocera at me because she was mad at the lab and another nurse told me why would I ask her to check something if it wasnt a 2 nurse check. I am very open to feedback to the point where it can verbally abusive. Needless to say I am leaving this unit. Hoping to find another ICU.
Its beyond sad how nurses treat each other. They quickly forget what it feels like to be new nurse. They once upon a time were in same position but choose to be toxic, demeaning and intense. Human resources and senior nurse management really needs to get involved if the want to keep good staff.
Legit!
A new Grad on a ward is like a 17yo being taught to drive by Dad. Dad can drive (?) but can he competently instruct another? Im 2 days in & if I hear 'time management' again I'll cry in front of everyone. It's a fucking shitshow.
That! Is a great analogy. Just because you’re a nurse doesn’t make you a good teacher teaching someone how to be a nurse
it takes a lot of time to become a good teacher in the nursing world. This is why it is a great loss when a unit loses experienced nurses
You got this ❤
Whatever you do.....don't cry in front of everyone
After working as a tech for the past 4 years and having ICU experience, I I'm going to work in the ICU as a new grad in just a few days. I'm really excited because that's where I've always wanted to be but a little nervous at the same time
How is it going for you? I start in a week and am super nervous!
How is it going?
Senior nursing student here planning on going into the ICU. Wow. SUCH a powerful video that called out all the bad habits I'm currently working on replacing with good ones. I really appreciated the solutions you both offered to the negative thought patterns. Definitely a video I will watch a million times again!
I feel like you guys should re release this as overcoming people pleasing in general. You two are giving me so much insight on how to handle criticism and I’m not even in any sort of medical field
Glad to hear you're finding it helpful!!
This video was verbatim what I was feeling as a new grad nurse in IMU. I didn’t have the vocabulary to articulate it. I have watched so many nursing “sucks” videos, but this was the first that spoke to real issue and strategies to overcome. Because you can’t just quit, because I’m learning you can’t skip over the learning process and being new. You’ve got to learn how to walk through it. Thanks again, i just subscribed and will be joining everything you have to offer to get me through this period ❤
So happy this was helpful for you- we have definitely been there and it definitely does get better!
You reported your mistake...makes you a good nurse!
absolutely !
I am so happy that I was not alone in having imposter syndrome when it comes to entering the medical field.
so many of us have it! You are not alone
Thank you so much for posting this video. I'm a first semester nursing student with the desire to become an ICU nurse and have gained so much insight and encouragement from this video, especially the parts about "ego death" and "stop worrying about yourself being good enough and perfect and worrying more about the care you provide". Thank you for this shift in focus. I needed that.
This is such a deep and important conversation that does not happen often in the nursing world. The part about codependence and family dynamics that set us up to be life long caregivers... Oouufff that is real. Thank you both so much.
thank YOU for listening and your feedback. I'm glad this was meaningful for your practice
I started in a level-1 critical-care float pool (5 units) in 2021 as a new grad. I was a truck driver before a nurse lol. I was beat down pretty good. I had enough life experience, but I did not have the emotional and social skills to manage much of that intensity in that short of a time. I think I was literally the first nurse to accept that position with no experience. And it was nights of course. I ended up leaving and doing step-down per diem where I made $4000/wk with less than a year experience and later moved on to an ED, but I want to be a CRNA so I went back. After a few years in the ED I conquered the ICU. I would regularly receive ICU patients in a 6-patient ED assignment. The 5 others were psych, dementia, detox, stemi...
Smh I felt that setting up for failure. Some of the people in my cohort had the 1-2 diff preceptors. For my 16 weeks I had a different one everyday just about
You have no idea just how beneficial you both are in steeling up future nurses! Thank you so much...this is like medicine to my soul...we all needed to hear this and the confirmation that it offers!!! Thank you!!!
Wow thank you! So glad it's helpful!
I am about to start the nursing program and I am hearing stories and it scares me. But you make me feel like I can handle what comes my way.
it's not easy but that is why we do what we do. We want to empower you to have a great orientation that will be the foundation to a great career
I just changed from stepdown to ICU, and yes, im struggling too.... people can be very mean, but I've learned to stay strong and resilient.... but i know it can be tiring. Learning a new skill/unit sucks.
Omg the beginning of this episode is totally meeeeeee. I am to know it gets better.
Relatable! It does get better hang in there!
Don’t know how I missed this channel but I am going to watch your episodes and subscribed right away. I have been a LVN for 15 years and was bridging over to advanced placement BSN and had a hiccup with the financial portion so I am taking a year off a bit. Nursing is so hardcore now from when I went to LVN school 15 plus years ago. I know once back on track and putting extra money away this year to head back in I will do it but damn I am wondering if a career change instead may be a better option. Either way I look forward to watching your episodes thank you for sharing ❤
Keep us posted on your journey!
Totally unrelated but both of your makeup jobs look so natural and radiant.
Thank you so much!
This is such a good video. I m an experienced nurse and I can still resonate to this so much like everyday in my practice
Glad it was helpful!
I walked out of my placement yesterday as a 3rd year Nursing student. I am over the toxic, passive aggressive attitude of nurses. My university is an extension of ignorance. I'm 56 years old and lost 4 years of my life I'll never get back. But, I have trade qualifications and I drive trucks which I am valued highly. Nursing is a dysfunctional profession
Wow. That’s so messed up. 😔❤️
@@2davivadiva sorry that was not meant to reply to your situation. Nursing can be a tough field, I don't blame you for prioritizing you. We lose a lot of good nurses to unfortunate situations. Best of luck on your future endeavors
Dorah I so get it. It's the profession's loss. I'm a 57yo Grad & only staying for patients; three recently said I helped them out of a depression spiral. My skills include listening, reading notes, PRN Endone, calling a doctor, winter nightie, cup of tea & toast with honey. IKR, genius stuff ... then having to tell a superior 4x that I'm not touching a PICC without competency is just bonkers.
Thank-you for sharing your insights and experiences! I’m in the very beginning stages of my Nursing Academic career; I just became an STNA and I’m starting classes for LPN in a week and a half.
Amazing- good luck on your journey keep us posted!
Loved all of this - being that I am about to be a new grad nurse, I definitely benefited from hearing all of this. Thank you!
So glad!
This is such a great video. As a new grad in ICU, I relate so much.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you. 🙏🏻
Discovered your channel by accident. New subscriber here. 😃 Patricia Benner is my favorite nurse theorist.
What made you guys decide to be a nurse? Did any of you start nursing school without even knowing for certain that you wanted to be or were cut out to be a nurse? Were any of you afraid the subject material would be too difficult? What event in your life was the most profound in your decision to become a nurse?
Hello ladies! Thank you so much for the valuable content. I’ve been binge watching every single one of your videos ever since I came across your channel a couple days ago. This is going to be one of the best resources for those who wants to become a CRNA. I’m so thankful for both of you!! Thanks for sharing your knowledge with all of us.
Is it possible for you guys to talk about how to approach ICU Interview as a new grad who wants to become a CRNA eventually? Is that even worth mentioning during the interview? Will that lower my chances of getting accepted? What were you guys’ experience with this? Also if I were not to share, how would I bring it up later and have them support the idea because I would need to put them down for reference when applying for CRNA school
An ICU interview episode is a great idea we will definitely do one! We don’t recommend explicitly discussing plans for CRNA school in your interview bc many employers will see that as a sign that you plan to leave quickly. Instead frame it by talking about the things you want to learn on the unit “learn devices, get involved in committees, precept…” and you can add “eventually continue my education but I’m still figuring out what that will look like”
14:44 Another question would be, where was the charge nurse… They should have been there during rounds.
Currently , an RRT student. I have 4 months to graduate but lately, I have so much anxiety about my ability. I will shut down and overthink everything. Thank you for this topic of thick skin but also for giving yourself grace. That's all. Thank you again
thank you and we hope the best for you. Anxiety can be so crippling and you are not alone. Thank you for listening
So glad I found this
LOL’d at Ego Death ☠️
So just to be clear: there’s no Rx bowling bumpers in the OR?
TRUTH: compartmentalization is key on rough days. I tell new nurses “it’s about your patient tonight, not your feelings”
PROACTIVE COMMUNICATION!!
Be OK with not being “you focused”
Thank you Ladies!
Lol ty agree with these points!
What’s the difference from having thick skin and being human??
Phenomenal suggestions! Thank you so much and keep up the awesome work!
“His wife left him… or a flat tire this morning” 😂 lmfao! The attitude people have sometimes it seems more like the first one on the daily 😭
Lol some people acting like that daily for sure 😆
I’m surprised this video didn’t mention anything about ethical violations .
Ooo a great idea for another video! There is so much to consider
Just offered to count DDs at Shift change but no, at 57 yo, I'm obviously not capable of simple mathematics?
*Edit* when I know my way around the stock in the safe, then I can. Fair enough, I misinterpreted that one.
10:50
The dual vocal fry isn't too bad 😂😂😂
You guys look like twins 👯 😀
Does this apply to new grad ed nurses? 😂❤I’m freaking out
This episode could apply in every specialty. Being a new grad is hard, hang in there
why do nurses have to grow anything no other professions are asked to do that
true, probably because this profession is made up of mostly women. Our unique hurdles are due to patriarchal systems and expectations
Bullish!t women are relationally aggressive so own it and don’t blame it on patriarchy blah
@@confidentcareacademy true, but grain of salt. being bullied by victims of an unfair system because they want it to be more unfair for you as well is just evil. it's a self-perpetuating cycle and sometimes even not ill-intended ("that's what made me a good nurse is crying in the parking lot every shift") but it makes you a cruel person
Both these girls are true beauties. The lady to the right, however, is a dead ringer of a well known actress. Which one?
Can you make your videos less than 15 minutes?????
these are the YT versions we have short form videos in other platforms. Thank you for watching
Anna literally just rephrases everything Chrissy says in a less articulate way. In every video 💀