Do not expect them to become a full time, unpaid language instructor for your own kids. They are here to learn English. if they are happy to teach your own family members some of their own language, fine, but don't expect daily language instruction. A friend of mine, who went to Japan, had this happen to him.
@@Abcd-jz4gp An exchange student should be spending two hours a day, 6 days a week, formally teaching their host families kids a language, at the expense of their own schoolwork and exchange experience. This is what happened to my friend. That is the real "Bull".
I heard about an Exchange Student that slowly the Host Family kept adding Home chores to, where finally the Exchange student had to "Baby Sit" the Host Family children and do house chores up to the point where the Exchange Student only had time for going to school but no time to study, visit friends, or do school homework. The Host Family was basically just looking for a "Slave".
Another very sad story story! Thanks for commenting to this point. If someone reading these comments was thinking about using an international student in this way, DON'T HOST! There are young adults called "Au Pair's" who can be contracted for set periods of time to be helpers in the home, for child care and house work. Those agencies are who you should contact for such services, not exchange student agencies. International students primary purpose is to be a typical teenager studying abroad!
My wife and I have hosted 20 students over the years. Some good some not so good. We have opened our home and quite frequently added a new family member. The few times that it didn't work out was mainly due to the student having different expectations than the reality they received. By and large my best advice is do not treat your student as a guest. They are here for a year to assimilate and learn about our culture. Set your ground rules within the first 48 hours. Yes I mean ground rules! No drinking is a good one, "oh I'm from Italy we drink wine all the time there." Well spanky you are not in Italy anymore you are in my home and if you want to stay here is the rule. Oh over the past 20+ years we've heard it all, bottom line is a teenager is a teenager and they will stretch the limit if you let them. The second most important thing you can do is, " do not let the student or their friends run your home." Our rules were simple, you do not go out on a school night. You are not here to party and play you are here on an academic visa so school comes 1st. You must be respectful of your teachers and school. There is no law requiring any school to accept an exchange student, your actions for good or bad will affect future students you are an ambassador of your country. You are not here to financially support your student. If you start doing it then when you stop it will create problems. Don't get conned, some students just dont want to spend their money and will try to convince you they are poor. Their parents have to meet certain financial requirements or they cant come. (there are scholarship programs but that a entirely different situation) 3rd rule, These students have no idea what it is really like here, their concept of the USA is based on MTV or other popular media. They will make poor choices and that is your fault if you allow it to happen, while they are here YOU are the parent not Mommy in France, YOU. We had a boy from Australia who was rude and condescending to everyone. He was going to do whatever he wanted. He had made plans to go out with some kids he thought were his friends, fortunately I got a call from one of the "Friends" parents. She had overheard her son talking about the exchange student, they had planned on getting him drunk stripping him naked covering him with duct tape and leaving him in a field some 60 miles away. They were so sick of his superior attitude and his favorite saying "Stupid Americans". I pulled the plug on the outing and he went nuts. I was a liar how could I ruin his social life etc. So i put his butt in the car and we went to his friends house where the mom forced her son to reveal the entire diabolical plan. He was mortified and in a few days went home. Out of 20 students he was the only one who didn't finish the program. Hosting can be a fun experience or a nightmare. I would say that I am still in touch with the majority of our students, some of whom now have kids of their own. I still believe that hosting a student can help show them and their families etc back home that we are not all like the Americans they see in the media, we are people just like them.
I would have not tolerated this attitude for a min. He's not your child to drive him around and making a big scene confronting the other kid. Just wrong for an adult to get involved in a drama like that.
Wow, i was thinking for applying in exchange program. Then i found this video and your comment. Although, i don't think i will apply for exchange program but still there was lot to understand about host family from someone experienced like you. I liked that you didn't let that Australian student to do something bad with friends. You are a nice guy. Love from Bangladesh 🇧🇩 💚
Hosted 3x so far. 1x as a host brother in the late 90s and we still talk to him. My sisters kids and my kids call him Uncle Thomas. Now as a host dad we hosted a girl from Italy (whom I love like my own daughter) and we just got our girl from Spain. She's such a sweetheart! Next year we're debating on what country to go for next. I love hosting and I know my family does too!
The religion part is really on point, I had to change family when I was in the US bcoz they were trying to convert me and basically re-educate me the way they wanted to. Of course I reported this to my parents in Italy and they were really mad at this, coz they felt like they were being judged by these people thinking my education was rubbish. I couldn't wear shorts or skirts in Texas when it was 40°C outside or I couldn't go out wearing some of my clothes, it was really terrible. Please don't force your religion or your lifestyle to anyone.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I feel very strongly that religion should not be forced on anyone! I am sorry to hear your host family was not respectful of your education and how you wished to dress in the heat. Though it is typical to have various rules in different homes, such a curfew hours, open kitchen vs eating hours, etc., some house rules are reasonable and some, unfortunately are not. Our family does have a couple guidelines on dress when in the common areas of the house (typically pajama attire), our students are respectful about it. They wear what they wish at any other time! Hopefully, other host families will read your comment and think through any rule before trying to enforce it. Thank you again for sharing here!
@@hfesLIFE exactly, I was very respectful for the dress code especially when I was at home or in school. I wasn't really prepared for the Texas heat so I just wanted to wear shorts and a t-shirt but nothing too revealing, something that my American friends wore as well. The hard part was trying to explain that I wanted to change family because of these issues, to the agency whose operators had the same mindset of the family I was hosted by. They thought their behavior wasn't an issue, but after insisting a lot and thanks to my professor we managed to change family 💪🏻
That’s horrible!! I will say most of the companies I have found give their profiles a religious status to see if you have similar beliefs. That helps sooo much. I hope you come back and visit again ❤ plus the south doesn’t represent all of US
@@livinglife2436 I know, I know, In fact when I changed family it was totally different! I know I was just not lucky with the first family i was in. The US is big but I ended in a very religious area, which I don't complain about, I just complain about the fact that some impose their religion and that is not ok. But I met so many amazing people there, so I really can't complain about the US! I just wanted to share my opinion and experience on the matter, since I've been in a not-so-great host family 🧡
i wish I had watched this during my exchange year, my host parents were usually absent and i also feel that my host mother wanted to fill the void of her children moving out of home
Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope potential, and current, host families stumble across this video and give themselves a self check. It really does have an effect on you as a person, and your exchange experience! Thanks again, for sharing.
My kid just signed up with the CBYX program, I am so excited, and so scared for him at the same time. He is such a soft spoken young man, hard working and respectful with integrity. Im hoping he finds a good host family with morals, and wont take advantage of his kind nature. Im praying that this is a wonderful experience, not something he'll have to recover from.
My best friend is an international student and twice she has had to have police intervene and change home stays. And her last didn’t try and force her to participate in this religion but they might as well have since the wife would play Buda music for hours a day, making it hard for her to study, sleep or relax.
These types of stories make me sad. I'm sorry your best friend experienced a difficult time. I wish all host families would prepare better in order to make it a great experience for all. Thank you for commenting for others to see how important it is!
The last one!! We were two teenage girls in that house and they always said things about the food, apparently we ate too much oh but it wasn't bc of the money, they said that it could make us sick, but when I spend my dads allowance on food (even though they we paid) it was suddenly OK to eat whatever amount. When we talked about this to the coordinator they got "upset" bc they've never had a problem, and I told the woman that by contract she had to feed us 3 times a day, SHE WENT TO PRINT THE CONTRACT AND RUB IN OUR FACES THAT IT SAID ONLY 2 MEALS A DAY. My part of the town didn't have any busses so we had to ask them every weekend to drive us to the mall but a lot of times "the weather was too bad" but suddenly the next day we didn't have any plans they said things like "oh we can drive you, we spend a lot on gas for you two, but it doesn't matter". The host mom would look through my phone, I was 15, I didn't have anything bad but when I showed her a picture she would go through the others and say "I just want to make sure you don't have anything bad" or in videocalls with friends and family she would grab my phone and "look who I was talking to" like wth???? I finally changed families 6 months later, my last 4 months were the best.
Thank you for sharing your experience here. I think it's important for host families to read real life feedback of what they do and say and how it effects students. This channel is a space for that! Sometimes, things are said and done that are downright odd! The truth is, as students, you can see through their intentions. If you cannot bring up topics to your host parents to find solutions, because they will not listen to you, that is not good at all. Coordinators need be better liaisons for the students in cases like these. I am happy to hear the story turned out well and that with your new family, you had a good relationship! 😎 Again, thank you for sharing!
I think this works both ways tho. I hosted a German student a few years ago knew b4hand she was veggie that was no issue. Made a fresh veg and chickpea curry the night she arrived but no she didn't want it. Nor fresh pasta with either 🍅 sauce or pesto. NOR a butternut squash risotto I had in the freezer. Brought her shopping next evening as I could see she was fussy only to be told she didn't like 🍞🍚🥚 pasta, any kind of soya or quorn or any meat fish etc or most fruits and veggies . However she DID want the dearest brands of everything and my food bill was over double what it usually was. That's not sustainable or realistic and noone could keep that up. She also moaned that most German foods are not available here but nothing I could do about that. Part of the exchange is supposed to be trying out another culture including the food. She always had her 3 meals a day and how many snacks she wanted, no problem. However in a few occsions when I was out I returned home to find she had friends over for a meal and raided my cupboards and fridge using €40-60 worth of food WITHOUT asking. This did annoy me when it kept happening as my contract was to feed her, NOT 4-5 of her friends. And the supervisor told me that in those instances that if they want to cook extra meals etc then they have to pay for that rather than wiping out cupboards etc. I often had her friends here and had no issue with making them 🍕🍟🍔🍿 etc and providing snacks but a line has to be drawn somewhere. Its not all about the €€€€ as u insinuate, but a lot of host families do do it partially for the money but neither side should take advantage either. She turned 16 while here and I organised a party for her bought a lovely cake, had loads of cupcakes snacks party food etc laid on for her and she invited over her friends but I got not one word of thanks for it. In fact I sent the party pics to her mum who she had lied to and told her that she just went out for pizza 🍕 on her birthday but I had photos that showed otherwise including a fab cake with the irish and German flags on it that I had specially made.....much thanks did I get for it!! 2 sides to every story
It depends on the private agency, how they structure things. Some governments in certain countries have their own programs. I have not heard of a student paying a family directly. If there was a stipend, it came through an agency.
Glad I discovered your videos. I'm in the Rotary Youth Exchange program in the USA. I think your Reasons FOR Hosting and What Not to do will be quite useful in our host family training along with our regular training content. Thanks.
Great, great, great advice!!!!!!!!! Hosting a student is a blessing! It’s a treasure! Not only is it fun, it’s a responsibility! Responsible to that student.. Responsible to be caring, loving, sharing, patient, humble… All things that make a person just a great human being in general! I’ve hosted 30 students, and now work with an exchange program, now that I can’t host students due to lack of space in my house. So thanks for sharing this advice! I’ll be watching your other videos now!
30 students? Incredible! Thanks for weighing in your thoughts about how to host. Good luck in your work with the exchange program, we need wise people to be a good influence everywhere :)
My family and I have hosted 27 students, all very good students except for 2. Both from Germany. One, the female, actually expected we go out every evening to restaurants or coffee bars and expected us to go away every weekend, we don't because it's expensive. We had a talk with the exchange student rep and the student. We'll, it was finally resolved. The male we had asked to use my laptop and corrupted it with animal porn. He was gone that night. So it is hit and miss. The two females from China hardly left their room, but eventually, they adjusted to our way of life and one young lady did enjoy our church youth group that when she returned to China she joined a Christian church in China. She eventually returned to the US to a Christian college and then transferred to SMU, where she graduated and was offered a job. We are so proud of her, although we did lose contact with her. She was a joy to have. The last one we had was a last-minute request to take in, and she was from Japan. She was an incredible young woman. We were invited to visit her and her family in japan. It was amazing except for the fact that I'm 6'9" and Japan is not built for my size. Well, neither is the US, but I've adapted. My family and I did have a really good time in Japan, especially during Halloween. It was a blast. It was the most fun I could have had dressed as Jason Voorhees. Try it out. It's not as bad as you might think. Just keep in touch with the coordinator.
We are hosting one from N. now; I regret we signed up for it. She snuck out at 1 am with my 14 y/o, was asking her where to get cigarettes, expecting us to pay for her stuff,,, no more. The best part is her mother has not sent me a single message since she arrived.
@@irynafox3593 I'm sorry to hear that but like I said. It is hit or miss. I'm still going to try to host again but in rural Arkansas. Bad thing it's rural Arkansas, good thing is mudding, horseback riding, hunting (if they're allowed), small town events.
@@irynafox3593 you should have access to whoever the regional contact is. For any reason your student does anything against your rules and especially against the law you can have them dismissed from the exchange program.
Tried it twice and kids were very unappreciative and conceited because I lived in an apartment and their friends lived in a house. They knew this prior but chose to wait until they were living with me before complaining... they eventually got what they wanted and relocated to a family with a house. Never again
Thanks for sharing your experience. That is an aspect I've had to deal with, that of navigating when your student sees a difference in something and things, just are, as they are. Students would do well to consider if that "thing" really is important or not before making it a big deal. It takes a lot for an individual, or family to open their home in the first place. (Especially during the lingering pandemic!) Respect and a measure of thankfulness can go a long way. There are good students out there who would have loved the apartment. I'm sorry you're experience wasn't pleasant.
We hosted once and the whole time we had the feeling the student didn‘t want anything to do with us. He used every possibility to leave the table (where we sat and had eaten together) and go to his room. He has also already organized dates in the hostcountry while he was still in his country! (Guess over tinder or something similar?!) 🤯 In the beginning my mom explained that we have chores in the house, and that every kid has to help with them. (Eg. Washing dishes after dinner etc.) The student usually just left the table, took his phone, went to the room next to the kitchen and started chatting with someone so he wouldn’t have to participate. So the hosting experience wasn‘t really great. But what made it worse, the things the student wrote about himself in the application were absolutely NOT true! 🤯 This application is not to get a job or anything, it’s to get a host family that fits you! And last but not least, the student hadn’t read anything about the country he was going to except for famous travel locations (so he could show off on instagram etc.). So when the student arrived he expected us and everyone in town to just speak english to him, because he wanted to learn english. But english isn’t an official language in this country.
We will never do it again. While our student was generally a sweet young lady she was also lazy, unmotivated and totally wasted her entire year because she lived on her phone the entire time. It was so discouraging to plan an outing or trip or event only to have her barely look up from her phone. Yes, we tried to talk to her and yes, we made rules but it became a battle so we just gave up. We all got so sick of saying, Please put down the phone. She was ungrateful and had no interest in anything, not at school, not with us and was totally unwilling to embrace and learn from the world around her. It was so sad and we were pretty annoyed at all of our efforts being met with apathy. She
Thank you for sharing your experience. I do wonder why parents allow/encourage their child to go on exchange with attitudes and habits like this? Maybe they don't realize, or maybe they hope other parental figures will help get rid of the habits? Not a good idea. I want to say thank you for giving this hosting adventure a try! You rock! Frustrating situations definitely take the motivation and fun out of what it could have been. Again, thank you for writing here for others to see.
Yes I did it twice nd never again. My first student was German with a v similar attitude to what u described above even tho I threw her birthday party brought her on holiday twice once to UK and twice to other parts of Ireland she was quite rude and ungrateful and I sensed was slagging me off behind my back to other students. I was lucky in the sense she was quiet and did respect house rules etc but she was very withdrawn nd distant no matter how nice I tried to be to her. Toward the end I just gave up and let her do her own thing but kept eye from a distance. The second student was from Spain and only 40 mins here when she started causing issues. She decided she didn't like my home or my pets nor the fact that we don't have kids (even tho I sent her pics of all this by email beforehand and she knew all this). She rang her coordinator behind my back to complain who rang me and was very rude to me tbh especially when I pointed out that she was only 40 mins here and already causing issues and that she was aware of circumstances b4 she arrived. She had a lovely double room and her own bathroom also which I did up b4 she arrived. Anyway we thought she might just be unsettled and next day brought her out to lunch had drive and tour of the area and thought she was starting to settle in. However next day she attended school only for me to get a call froo coordinator saying she had complained again about my home etc and she wanted to move to a family home. I said no problem and let her go. She was a total madam.....no need at all for her attitude and very unfair. The laugh was on her though cos I heard after that she was moved out to the countryside to a family with small toddlers who drove her mad, no broadband and in middle of nowhere and that she was soon screaming to come back into town again but the agency refused to move her again!!! Wheras my house is 5 mins from her school and everything in town!! So she basically shot herself in her own foot!! As it turns out she actually did me a big favour. Heard months later that the agency went bust overnight and disappeared leaving host families unpaid after hosting for 3 months. So all in all I dodged a bullet
One case here in Ireland that really scared a lot of people was when a Swiss exchange student was murdered in Galway City, having only been here a few days. She apparently refused to listen to her host parents instructions and advice not to take a short cut in to the city which had had several attacks on women in the previous months and years. She promised them she wouldn't take the short cut, but did anyway, and was raped and killed. Her body was discovered right along the route she had been told not to go. I really cannot imagine the torment her poor family went through and also her host parents who are tormented to this day. Unfortunately she was 17 and almost an adult, but still enough of a teenager to think she knew better and to take a chance on taking that short cut and paid with her young life. It also seems she didn't want a lift in to the city to meet her friends and insisted on walking. It turned out that her killer had attacked and raped a French student only 7 weeks before and was under investigation for that crime also. Thankfully he was caught and got life imprisonment for the murder plus an extra 10 years for theft and then he got 2 further life sentences for the French students rape (life in Ireland can mean 15 years, so the judge was trying to ensure that he will not see the light of day for at least 45 years and rightly so). What a dreadful nightmare for everyone concerned. A thing to note here is that the agency involved apparently behaved very badly and the host family have allegedly said that as soon as the trouble started that the agency immediately started dodging responsibility and accusing the family of 'victim blaming' when it was pointed out the warning she had been given about certain areas. This is very unfair. As with any 17 year old teenager you are dealing with a young lady who is almost an adult, but who may have lived either a very sheltered life or indeed in parts of Europe parents have a much more liberal attitude than we would have and kids are encouraged to be much more independent more early in life than Irish kids. Add to the mix the fact that they are away from home often for the first time and that they may push and test boundaries more do than they do at home and its a big worry for host parents. I myself hosted and the girl was a good girl and not rebellious but I still worried about her constantly. Unfortunately as with anything else in life when they reach a certain age of independence and start moving around themselves there is only so much you can do to protect and watch over them. My heart breaks for her poor parents as she was their only child. I also advise checking with the agency who is the child's legal guardian while in your country.....the host family or the agency?? And where would you stand legally, if, God forbid a similar situation were to arise? In my case the agency are technically the legal guardian's of the students, but the family in this case did complain that the agency tried to wriggle out of this and throw blame at them. So I made sure to check my facts with my solicitor before agreeing to take on anyone else's child. Biological parents back home also need to be careful of what they say and liaising with the host parents also. Another lady I know who hosted at the same time as me overheard the girl complain to her father on the phone about strict rules and he said "oh make yourself independent of her and do your own things". First -'the girl was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY - this was reckless advice on his part. Secondly who is "her"??? That is an extremely disrespectful and rude term to use about anybody, especially someone he had never met or spoken to. Thirdly he should have advised his daughter "please listen to your host parents. They have your safety and best interests at heart and thry are trying to keep you safe and they know the area". Instead he more or less seemed to be saying to the girl to more or less, be defiant and do as she pleased. I was frankly, shocked at hearing his attitude and thank God I did not have to deal with him!! These are the kinds of things you can come up against unfortunately.
Thank you for your thorough response. You bring up a lot of important points to consider. First off, what a horrible, horrible thing to happen to the Swiss exchange student and the effects on those who cared about her. Ugh, my heart just breaks :( Taking on the responsibility of another human being is a risk. Your note about finding out who is the legal guardian invites us to take a step deeper into hosting, and the importance of taking it seriously. I have felt a little push back from a couple students when I followed through with asking where they were going, and who they'd be with, but that's the way it has to be! I'm friendly, but I'm not their friend in the sense that they can do whatever they want (I could go on, and will in a future video). It is NOT ok for agencies to play dumb to THEIR responsibilities. The scenario you described makes me upset. I understand it's hard for them to find willing and good families/individuals in the first place, let alone new ones to transfer to from bad ones at the drop of a hat. In the end, not protecting students by way of the hosts that care for them, is not ethical. My suggestion is, if host parents are encountering problems with their student, speak up! If you have to, keep calling, arranging meetings and showing up at agency offices until you are heard. Find a new agency if things don't get resolved, or don't host any more. It's a sad fact that some amazing people won't ever host again because of the agency's irresponsibility! To the parent(s) with a laissez-faire attitude about their child respecting the wisdom of those who volunteer to take care of your child, don't waste our time. Navigate your own child in your own home- not ours. To the student(s) who want to exchange, but chose not to follow the rules you signed your name to, don't bother coming. You will get more support from your parent(s) at home then you will at the homes of strangers who take on A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY AND RISK to make sure you are safe (let alone, who care enough to make your exchange time extraordinary). Period. sapphire22011, thank you for the comment and the important points for all of us to reflect on 💛
@@hfesLIFE Thank you. The Swiss students name was Manuela Riedo you can Google her case. It certainly does raise issues. Which is why I thought through my responsibilities very thoroughly before I hosted and went through all my responsibilities legally and morally. Like yourself, I adopt the attitude with students yes I'm your friend and you can ask me anything etc, but I'm only your friend to a point. After that I can and will follow through where it concerns your safety etc. I was lucky in the sense that my German student was a good girl and not rebellious but I do remember one incident where another host parent who I had kept my distance from as I felt she was irresponsible, asked my student to a party which was in a pub. My student was just 15 and underage to be in a pub here at that age, so I checked with the co-ordinator who said absolutely not. In the end to avoid a confrontation I simply rang the pub and had a discreet word with the manager, reminding him of the laws and penalties of allowing underage drinkers on the premises. He assured me that 15 years olds would not be admitted under any circumstances snd that the pub had bouncers at the door who operated a very strict policy. In the end, it all worked out but I was annoyed at the other host mum who invited teenagers to the party without checking with us other host parents first. Unfortunately this is what u are up against. Thank God my student was safe. The only issue she came up against was her bike was stolen in town. Long story short- she had joined an after school kickboxing club and for some unknown reason one night she decided to leave her bike chained to the town park gates, in spite of having been told repeatedly not to go near the Park after dark as it wasn't safe. She, in typical teenage fashion decided she knew better - and her bike was promptly stolen!! She was very upset about it but nothing could be done about it and it was a lesson she had had to learnbthe hard way. Thank God it was 'only' the bike and thst she wasn't the victim of a more serious crime. I have to say I am surprised at sone European families attitudes regarding rules and safety. From my perspective I was in touch with the family, her mum especially by email in the weeks before the. Exchange. I did give her mum my Skype and private phone numbers and suggested a chat but she seemed to want to converse via email only. I was very surprised as I thought the parents would jump at the chance to speak personally to the person who had responsibility of their daughter for 9 months. However I respected her wishes and kept correspondence via email but I just found that it was maybe a cultural difference. Like you I would always advocate speaking up at the first sign of trouble, organising meetings etc.
Yes, I have come up against other host parents who care less about the safety of their students and it confuses me. Anytime a parent wants to get in contact with me about their child I am caring for, I am delighted!
The two girls we're hosting at this time have been horribly disrespectful to us...like keeping a horrible mess...refusing to stop eating chips and leaving half bag chips all over the floor...half hour late to dinner...we thought they'd enjoy going places in our HUGE motorhome, but they complained, is too boring. I posted a video on my YT ch...they left a horrible mess and destroyed table top leaving spilled nailpolish remover...ground in cookies in new carpet... its horribly upsetting with their being so disrespected. We have a LOT of money invested in their coming here. They refuse to eat our food as one hates ALL fruit, ALL veggies...wants just noodles and candy. She sobbed, when I took away her 20 bags candy...she promised was buying to take home...but she ate most of it. Her diet is horrible....she refuses to eat most of what we prepare...healthy meals...we're feeling pretty bad and we've spent a lot of money so far.
That sounds frustrating. Maybe a call to your coordinator to mitigate the situation might be helpful. Sometimes it helps to have a third party when there are hurt feelings. I might also suggest having "family council" on a weekly, or semi-weekly basis to talk about things that are going well and things that need to improve. This video speaks briefly about it ruclips.net/video/tHfUI4j6VxA/видео.html and there will be another video in the future to go into more detail. Family Council has helped us to work on issues in a non-confrontational way. Thank you for commenting!
We fit all criteria, we did it for the right reason, didn't get reimbursed at all. They found a friend who they wanted to live with more and were able to move homes because they "weren't bonding" we feel completely disenfranchised
I'm sorry this happened. Families like yours, hosting for the right reasons, should be held on to! It frustrates me that the agency didn't pull through! We always hope for the best match with students, and it's almost heart-breaking when it's not. Thank you for sharing your experience here for others to read and thank you for giving hosting a try 🧡
I am applying for YES myself as a student I think it all depends on the kid you are getting and for sure it's hard to be with someone completely different from you for 1 year
Definitely! Not all matches of host families to exchange students are perfect, and that's ok. As long as there is respect from both parties, whether you work it out and live together, or find a new host family, it's all good. Good luck in your exchange journey!! 👊
My husband and I are 35 and would like to host in a couple years when we have a bigger house. We have no kids. I've worked with kids and teens a lot. I actually thought it was volunteer and no stipend.
It depends on the agency you are working with, if they are volunteer, or if they provide a stipend. I wish I could say which one is more prevalent and available. I know of host families who will ONLY do volunteer hosting, and, other families who couldn't ever host without a stipend. There are pro's to both, and as long as care and respect are involved, it's going to be a great experience! I think your experience working with kids and teens will be an asset to you! 😀 Good luck on your journey!
i have the option to become an exchange student. i'm kinda nervous because i'm a bit of the quiet nice kind of person, but i hope things go well. i'll join in on the meeting held in one of the classrooms and ask about it there, and give it a go. i will be grateful for everything provided for me and those taking care of me. not asking for anything fancy anyway. just coming along to create memories, bonds and learn something new.
I am happy you are choosing to go on exchange!! I hope they match you with a family that cares about you and you have an extraordinary experience! Best of luck to you and thanks for watching :)
Hi, I found yogur vídeo very interesting as I agree with your 5 reasons not to host an exchange student. I have been a host Mom of au pairs from other countries. We did not treat them as au pairs, we treated them as a new member of our family and all we wanted from them was that they spoke in English with our children and to look after them while we were working. I always took them on holiday with us even they received a week pay. I looked after them as if they were my own daughters and gave them advice. Some of them have come back to visit us and we have gone to Scotland to visit them and their families. Now I am on the opposite site. My daughter has been admitted to the J1 exchange program in USA. The USA agency is ICES. My sister did that program 30 years ago and her host parents had offered to be my daughter’s host parents but they live in a rural area. They are really nice but We have decided to leave the agency look for a host family. I don’t know if we have chosen the best decision after hearing so many bad experiences about host families. But I hope she is lucky to find a loving family. Do you think ICES agency usually solves the problems between exchange students and host families? And the question the Spanish agency has not answered to me is: do the agency really try to match the student with the host family considering personality, hobbies…? The agency has told me that the host family chooses the student. But do they really consider that the chosen student will match in their family and be happy with them and the school the student must attend? Thanks
Thanks for watching and sharing your experiences! It seems as if you created an extraordinary family culture you all appreciated. Isn't it so nice when the relationship continues! I also hope you are able to help your daughter find a loving host family, too. Having never worked with ICES I cannot say if problems are solved well between host families and students. Often, it comes down to the local people who are running it. Because even if an agency shares on their website how good they are (which all of them state their vision and intentions) but do the locals running it believe, support and fulfill the mission? It's hard to say. And if past years were bad, did they fire those people and get new ones who are great? I really wish there was a better way to judge each program in real time! The matching student to host thing has been curious to me as well. When we began hosting we did get to choose the year-long student. I read through all of the profiles and tried my best to find a match and crossed my fingers they weren't spoken for when the day opened to put in the request. The way it's done has changed for us. Our coordinator lets us know if there are students who needs to be placed and she really tries to match us up - so far so good. At the same time, if students want/need to be moved she will call, desperate for somewhere to place them, again - so far so good. I don't think we'll always bat 100 with intended matches... I'd like to think all coordinators care, but some don't and some are desperate for ANY home. My guess would be to see if you can talk with the coordinator who your child will be working with and get a feel for how responsive they are to listening to your concerns. And ask for recommendations on families that are eligible. I know one of our students parents looked me up online and got to know our family before she even came :) He emailed me beforehand too, which I like, in order to build a common concern for the needs of his daughter. That might be a good route to try as well. Again, thanks for commenting. I hope it turns out great with your daughter! :)
That's a long time to have someone! It's hard to say goodbye to ones you've cared for that have been thankful to spend time with you. Thanks for the comment. Will you be hosting again?
Hello! Thanks for watching, and that's a good question. This video shares the reasons why I think someone should host ruclips.net/video/ozxk5a_FDxs/видео.html! I wish I could give a guarantee that you wouldn't get an irresponsible and disrespectful student, but it is a risk. Every new school year that comes up in my mind, I have a conversation with myself, mentally prepping myself to say goodbye if the match isn't a good fit. I guess I'm willing to move forward with it because I know if it doesn't work out, they can move to a different house. Different individuals have different tolerance levels for things. In the end, if a new family cannot be found then they live with the coordinator. If the student broke major rules or just can't get it together, they get sent home. My biggest advice if you get a child like that, be annoying about calling your coordinator and agency. They do tend to sit on it a little, hoping things smooth out over time. Good luck if you choose this adventure! :)
Good point on all of this. In college I encountered a few people that were international. After something like twenty or thirty years. Sometimes for one reason or another they do go back to their own country and do what they studied about in their own Homeland. Knowing that very many things happening in life. Although just if you're curious and you look up the person's name or birthday internationally there are so many people with very similar names and international laws very different. They may have gone through something.. and I heard an agency for them to disappear from someone in their own country. It's just a little bit different and somebody might not ever see that exchange student ever again, it's just seems kind of strange and different and it kind of makes a person wonder whatever happened to them. Are they alive. Did they pass away. Did they get a good job. Did they Die in a disaster. It just seems like a empty type thing.. not going to lose sleep over it but it just makes someone Wonder 🤔
Oh, wow. I've never heard of that but that sounds scary! I hope in time they show up and they were not involved in something tragic! Thank you for watching and the comment.
I would treat them as my own child but probably sweeter because they will only be with me for a year or so.i wish I could host while my daughter goes if that's what she wishes but my fiance is not a person of rules the way I am 😫
Thank you for watching and commenting. Our hearts can be in the right place and things aren't able to work out like we wish. It's good to be reminded there are kind people like you! :)
i am an international student who will move to usa after 7 months to study aviation , how can i find a family to live with ???????? i am clean , helpful , friendly , i can help them in the home works and give them salary in exchane of my accomodation with them .....
Thanks for commenting! It sounds like you are a possible intern? You can check to see if there are agencies who specialize in fitting interns with families near you. If you cannot find any, sometimes there are social media groups who might be willing to connect you to families. I wish you luck in your search!
We had extra "daughters" mainly over 12 years,,,ranging in age from 14 ..through high school and then young Chinese adults who were usually graduates and here in NZ for post grad reasons. Also,, for two years in another town giving weekend "exeats" /breaks to boys at a local boarding school. On the whole, yes we'd do it again... by the stage we started our own 3 children were finished with school and university, whatever and we were both teachers. Right..that's the background. It doesn't take a special person to do this...just one with common sense, good rapport and judgement, steadiness and understanding of what the girls (in our case ) might be coping with culturally and with language. Japanese and probably all Asian. girls will often say what they think you expect or would like to hear,,, and may just not let on how they really feel --they can "pull down the shutters" at will. That said,,,,as they say..we are still in contact with 3 or 4,,, one is a special friend of our much travelled daughter and came across from Europe to her wedding, and has been back 4x to visit us. You don't need to be super parent. Just a well balanced etc etc person try it. It's like getting a box of chocolates....
Well said!! Thank you for weighing in with your experience and giving sound advice to readers! You've had a broad experience with different forms of hosting and ages. You bring up a good point about understanding cultures that might not encourage openness with one's feelings. That's something I seek to make known to each of our students, providing opportunities to get to know them, allow for sharing of my own feelings (about life) and asking questions about themselves, really listening to them, and asking their opinions about big and small things. Haha, I guess I don't know if my efforts have paid off, I'd have to take a poll of past students to see how they felt about it. Yet, I do feel as if they feel safe with me as a parental figure, and most are still in touch :) It's wonderful to hear you're still in touch and visits continue. Well done!! Again, thanks for sharing!
I’ve hosted three times: one great experience, one mediocre, one just awful. It’s a dice roll. The awful child at least left after only a week to a different home (she wanted something less rural).
Honest question: Do we receive any money for hosting? I like the idea of having international students in my house. I have a 11 years old kid. I do have two nice extra bedrooms in my house but unfortunately I can not afford hosting for free.
Hi! Thanks for watching and your question. To answer, it all depends on the agency. If you'd like to host to provide a genuine experience and being compensated for room, board and transportation is the last hurdle to doing that, contact agencies near you, or, look them up online to see if a stipend is what they provide. A Private School program might be one that will fit your needs. I hope you get to host and good luck on your journey!
I am thinking of hosting down the road. I read up you have to feed the student 3 times a day. I know I could do breakfast and dinner, but not lunch....what if I give the kido lunch money?
Hello! Thanks for your question. Feeding doesn't always equate to making the meal. If you provide the food and they have access to it when they are hungry, that is feeding them. Our students have made their lunches at home and brought them to school. Some prefer to use their personal spending money to go out to eat. Food is available for breakfast, and some of them don't prefer to eat that early (I didn't as a teenager). I do make dinner every night and we sit down to chat and build relationships. Every situation might not look the same. You have to work out what is best for everyone in the home. I hope you get the opportunity to host and that it's a great experience! 😀
Just found your channel and it would be interesting if you have insight into when a exchange student is doing it for the "wrong" reasons. I will review your channel to see, but that might help explain how some students just don't mix with any host family.
Glad you came across the channel. "Umm... No. Don't Exchange" is in the queue to do! You're right, it'll probably help explain how some students don't mix with any host family. Thanks for watching and the encouragement :)
I want to be a student coordinator. I feel confident in the work and feel inspired, but what is the pay structure? I'm so confused on the pay. please help
Hi, thanks for your comment! Unfortunately, I don't have any knowledge of this aspect. I've never been a coordinator before. I think checking into and calling agencies near you would be a good step. They can answer all of your questions. The world needs good coordinators! :)
You would need to contact the direct coordinator involved with the student. If needed, sometimes the agency needs to be involved. Hopefully the police don't need to be called - that has happened in some situations. Thanks for asking, I hope it turns out well.
It is a risk for sure. Would I have done it as a teenager? No. And for your reason, too! :) Yet, I think that's why I'm so passionate about helping others have a good experience. I think it matters a whole lot about the intentions of the student coming and the intentions of the receiving host family. It's a life changing experience for both! And since people are still doing it, let's do it as best as we can. And... travel as an adult!! Thanks for the comment Ursula!
That means you are probably a good person! 😀 I really want to discourage people to host who are not ready to, for each of those 5 reasons. At the very least, that this video makes people re-check their reasons for hosting. The students deserve that, because this experience will be a part of their life's story! Also, the title and description will usually describe more of what is in there, if you're not sure about what's on the thumbnail. Thanks for watching and the comment!
@@hfesLIFE I guess my point was is that the Title seems to be WARNING people they should NEVER host an exchange student! Perhaps a better title would have been "If you're thinking about hosting an Exhange Student .Consider the Following Carefully First!" Just my two cents here!
To fill your newly empty nest 😳 Do NOT host to fill the void of your own children leaving your home. Students are not looking for new families, they have their own already but hope to be an addition to yours, not in place of, while they are here.
Hey Jenni, I've been watching your videos and I think commenting is a good way to reach out to you because I need your help. I'm an American born who has been living in a different country (Mongolia) because my parents are from there and so I have both Mongolian and US passports and I will become a US citizen. This year (my sophomore year) my parents sent me to my aunt who I had never met for me to study in Austin TX, but quickly realized me and my aunt do not get along The education here in the States is so much better and I want to stay for the 2 more years of HS but the problem is my aunt is already set on sending me back to Mongolia. I cant go back knowing that I could be taking AP classes which NEVER offered in Mongolia. Please help ! Who should I reach out what agency should I even apply to find myself a host family?!
Just in case you didn't see the first reply, here it is again. :) Thank you for reaching out. I can see you are in a tough spot. The best advice I can offer is to search - a lot- on agencies who offer the type of program you are looking for. For example, private program, rotary club or traditional program, based on where you'd like to end up in the States. Check out my video titled "What Do You Call Them?" ruclips.net/video/K1-_IFMt-aw/видео.html to learn more about programs offered. Since there's probably a lot of paperwork to complete between you and your parents, calling these potential agencies might help you navigate around faster, before the fall semester. Or, maybe there's a friend you've met locally who would have you in their home with their family, then you can search agencies near where you are. It doesn't hurt to ask around and the worst they can say is no. Since I do not represent agencies, this is the best advice I can give. I hope this helps and I hope you will get to have the education choice you wish! Good luck!
can you be an exchange student even though you’re 15 and still in high school? this like a real question because i don’t know. i’m so sorry for disturbing you.
Great question! Yes, you can. Each of our students the past few years are high school aged. You will need parent permission and to find an agency to work with. Good luck!
My wife and I have the easy part of this, we're the Aunt and Uncle to exchange students so we get to take them to do fun things like skiing or ice-skating or to the movies. We get the fun part without the day to day work of dealing with teens. Out of around 20 kids every single one of them were polite and worked hard on their studies and took their stay here seriously as far as school but also knew how to have good clean fun just doing things like the above listed things. Every single Asian girl we did fun stuff with was surprised that as husband and wife we were also best friends. I think ours is the best part of having an exchange student.
Haha! This is legit great! I hadn't even considered what an Aunt or Uncle being involved would look like. Thank you for being an awesome addition to the whole experience!! :)
Don’t exchange for the money- what money? 😂 Families in Canada earn about 5 times what families do in the US. When I considered it the stipend would even cover food.
Thanks for watching! That's interesting to know about exchange rates in Canada. Sounds like the stipend (from whichever agency you're looking at) wouldn't go far. A stipend is better than nothing if you need additional funds to host, but may not come close to covering actual costs. Thanks for the comment!
I've read some of the comments of host parents under the video and unfortunately I saw lot of people saying that the students were disrespectful... does it have to do something with if the kids paid for the exchange year or not? I don't want to judge or anything but maybe the kids who are selected are more respectful and more ''mature'' because they have to go through multiple rounds to get into the program... does it have to do something with it? I'm not sure about all procedures in both cases, I'm only familiar with the second one I mentioned...
Hi, thanks for the comment! You bring up an interesting thought. Not having worked in agencies who vet teenagers who want to come as international students or on a cultural exchange, I can't say whether or not it's the case. From my experience (childhood 4 times, and adulthood 10 times in 7 years - and in hearing our student's friend's experiences in real time) disrespectful attitudes can come from several places: First being, primary family basic attitudes. Second, age and maturity level of student plus their intentions of traveling to another country. Third, the host family's negative lens which rubs off on the student (which can be magnified by lack of clear, friendly expectations and regular communication, etc...). Major disrespect hasn't been something we've had to deal with yet. We inevitably will because we're all just people :) We've hosted students from different "income classes" and it hasn't been a thing. Those are my 2 cents. Thanks for commenting!
Hi, I'm currently on exchange and My family is onky of me and my hist mom. I feel like since her kid is no longer home she wanted to have me to fill that place. It has been 3 weeks and I haven't done anything yet, she never brings up things to do or places to go. I'm really struggling especially seeing other exchange always out with their host siblings or family in general. What can I do? Is that a big enough reason to ask for a change of family?
That sounds like a difficult situation. Being 4 months since you left this comment you might have already solved the issue. Yes, I feel that if it's important to you, then it's important to share with your coordinator. At the least they will be made aware and if thing keep as they are, steps can be taken. I hope it turns out well!
Hi, I love your video and this helps me understand alot more thank you. I really want to become an exchange student and explore the new places but I'm really scared if I might down grade when I get there or when I get back.
Hi! Thank you for watching. I'm glad you find value in the content :) It is a step into the dark when you go on a new adventure. Where will you live, who will you meet, what will the situation be like, will you like, or dislike the experience? I wish I could tell you how it will go for you, yet in the end, no one knows and that's the nerve wracking and exciting part! If you decide to become an exchange student, your experience will become part of your life's story that most humans don't have! Also, I believe if your exchange opens your eyes to the wonders of the world and opens your heart to those who are different from you, that will count as an upgrade, no matter the circumstance. Good luck on your adventure!
Hello! I am not familiar with all agencies and programs offered throughout the world. My best recommendations would be to look into agencies near where you live and to ask friends/acquaintances if they know someone who studied abroad and who they went with. I wish I could help you more. Good luck on your search, I hope you get to study abroad! :)
What do you do if you’re hosting a student and find out your son and the student have been in a relationship? Complicated situation especially if she’s moving away. Can we get into trouble? Thanks
Hello! I wish I would have seen this sooner, except I haven't experienced this or come across a similar situation when reading others experiences, so I cannot give definitive advice. Your situation is probably over, feel free to comment how it went and your thoughts about how you chose to handle it. As for how my family would approach it - it's not something that we would allow. Hosting can be complicated enough. And building and maintaining trust within all members of the household is paramount to making the arrangement work... for that reason we would respectfully have the student relocated to another home. That way if the relationship were to continue it would be approached like any other dating/boyfriend/girlfriend relationship based on typical family guidelines. I hope your situation worked out well. Thank you for the comment!
Any sites you recommend, my wife is fluent in Italian, and I think it would be very beneficial for the student to have someone here from their culture & country to feel more comfortable studying abroad with. Also we have no children is that an issue?
Hello Anthony, thank you for commenting. I know different agencies can sometimes work with certain countries over others. Unfortunately, I do not know which ones because I provide the hosting aspect. You are welcome to do a google search and talk with some agencies to see if they work with Italian students, or if they are aware of agencies that do? Agencies welcome individuals over 18, or couples, or families to host. You do not need to have children! I hope you will look into it and give it a try sometime. Good luck! :)
I have had exchange students before and loved it. Still keep in touch with them and I even traveled to their country.
That is great you're able to keep connections with them!
That so sweetttt!
That's really nice to hear since I'm thinking of being a foreign exchange student
That is the experience we really wanted and worked hard to have but it was not to be.
Do not expect them to become a full time, unpaid language instructor for your own kids. They are here to learn English. if they are happy to teach your own family members some of their own language, fine, but don't expect daily language instruction.
A friend of mine, who went to Japan, had this happen to him.
This is a great point! They should not be expected to be language teachers.
And I am sorry that happened to your friend.
@@Abcd-jz4gp An exchange student should be spending two hours a day, 6 days a week, formally teaching their host families kids a language, at the expense of their own schoolwork and exchange experience. This is what happened to my friend.
That is the real "Bull".
I heard about an Exchange Student that slowly the Host Family kept adding Home chores to, where finally the Exchange student had to "Baby Sit" the Host Family children and do house chores up to the point where the Exchange Student only had time for going to school but no time to study, visit friends, or do school homework. The Host Family was basically just looking for a "Slave".
Another very sad story story! Thanks for commenting to this point.
If someone reading these comments was thinking about using an international student in this way, DON'T HOST! There are young adults called "Au Pair's" who can be contracted for set periods of time to be helpers in the home, for child care and house work. Those agencies are who you should contact for such services, not exchange student agencies. International students primary purpose is to be a typical teenager studying abroad!
My wife and I have hosted 20 students over the years. Some good some not so good. We have opened our home and quite frequently added a new family member. The few times that it didn't work out was mainly due to the student having different expectations than the reality they received. By and large my best advice is do not treat your student as a guest. They are here for a year to assimilate and learn about our culture. Set your ground rules within the first 48 hours. Yes I mean ground rules! No drinking is a good one, "oh I'm from Italy we drink wine all the time there." Well spanky you are not in Italy anymore you are in my home and if you want to stay here is the rule. Oh over the past 20+ years we've heard it all, bottom line is a teenager is a teenager and they will stretch the limit if you let them. The second most important thing you can do is, " do not let the student or their friends run your home." Our rules were simple, you do not go out on a school night. You are not here to party and play you are here on an academic visa so school comes 1st. You must be respectful of your teachers and school. There is no law requiring any school to accept an exchange student, your actions for good or bad will affect future students you are an ambassador of your country. You are not here to financially support your student. If you start doing it then when you stop it will create problems. Don't get conned, some students just dont want to spend their money and will try to convince you they are poor. Their parents have to meet certain financial requirements or they cant come. (there are scholarship programs but that a entirely different situation) 3rd rule, These students have no idea what it is really like here, their concept of the USA is based on MTV or other popular media. They will make poor choices and that is your fault if you allow it to happen, while they are here YOU are the parent not Mommy in France, YOU. We had a boy from Australia who was rude and condescending to everyone. He was going to do whatever he wanted. He had made plans to go out with some kids he thought were his friends, fortunately I got a call from one of the "Friends" parents. She had overheard her son talking about the exchange student, they had planned on getting him drunk stripping him naked covering him with duct tape and leaving him in a field some 60 miles away. They were so sick of his superior attitude and his favorite saying "Stupid Americans". I pulled the plug on the outing and he went nuts. I was a liar how could I ruin his social life etc. So i put his butt in the car and we went to his friends house where the mom forced her son to reveal the entire diabolical plan. He was mortified and in a few days went home. Out of 20 students he was the only one who didn't finish the program. Hosting can be a fun experience or a nightmare. I would say that I am still in touch with the majority of our students, some of whom now have kids of their own. I still believe that hosting a student can help show them and their families etc back home that we are not all like the Americans they see in the media, we are people just like them.
Thank you for sharing your voice here!! I appreciate it.
Wow. What an experience you've had!! We appreciate you sharing here, both the good and bad. Thank you, David!
Thank you, David, for sharing your experience and great parenting rules tips. Love it. ❤
I would have not tolerated this attitude for a min. He's not your child to drive him around and making a big scene confronting the other kid. Just wrong for an adult to get involved in a drama like that.
Wow, i was thinking for applying in exchange program. Then i found this video and your comment. Although, i don't think i will apply for exchange program but still there was lot to understand about host family from someone experienced like you. I liked that you didn't let that Australian student to do something bad with friends. You are a nice guy. Love from Bangladesh 🇧🇩 💚
Hosted 3x so far. 1x as a host brother in the late 90s and we still talk to him. My sisters kids and my kids call him Uncle Thomas. Now as a host dad we hosted a girl from Italy (whom I love like my own daughter) and we just got our girl from Spain. She's such a sweetheart! Next year we're debating on what country to go for next. I love hosting and I know my family does too!
This makes me happy to hear!! Glad you have had and are having a great adventure ❤ Thank you for commenting!!
Check with Izzy down in the remarks. She really wants to come study abroad.
@@Abcd-jz4gp the girl from Spain was horrible! We have one from Poland now. She's awesome
@Abcd well, we look at alot of things. Majority are parents. Are both parents in the picture, their jobs, siblings, etc.
You should def do a student from Serbia!!
The religion part is really on point, I had to change family when I was in the US bcoz they were trying to convert me and basically re-educate me the way they wanted to. Of course I reported this to my parents in Italy and they were really mad at this, coz they felt like they were being judged by these people thinking my education was rubbish. I couldn't wear shorts or skirts in Texas when it was 40°C outside or I couldn't go out wearing some of my clothes, it was really terrible. Please don't force your religion or your lifestyle to anyone.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I feel very strongly that religion should not be forced on anyone! I am sorry to hear your host family was not respectful of your education and how you wished to dress in the heat.
Though it is typical to have various rules in different homes, such a curfew hours, open kitchen vs eating hours, etc., some house rules are reasonable and some, unfortunately are not. Our family does have a couple guidelines on dress when in the common areas of the house (typically pajama attire), our students are respectful about it. They wear what they wish at any other time!
Hopefully, other host families will read your comment and think through any rule before trying to enforce it. Thank you again for sharing here!
@@hfesLIFE exactly, I was very respectful for the dress code especially when I was at home or in school. I wasn't really prepared for the Texas heat so I just wanted to wear shorts and a t-shirt but nothing too revealing, something that my American friends wore as well.
The hard part was trying to explain that I wanted to change family because of these issues, to the agency whose operators had the same mindset of the family I was hosted by. They thought their behavior wasn't an issue, but after insisting a lot and thanks to my professor we managed to change family 💪🏻
That’s horrible!! I will say most of the companies I have found give their profiles a religious status to see if you have similar beliefs. That helps sooo much. I hope you come back and visit again ❤ plus the south doesn’t represent all of US
@@livinglife2436 I know, I know, In fact when I changed family it was totally different! I know I was just not lucky with the first family i was in. The US is big but I ended in a very religious area, which I don't complain about, I just complain about the fact that some impose their religion and that is not ok. But I met so many amazing people there, so I really can't complain about the US! I just wanted to share my opinion and experience on the matter, since I've been in a not-so-great host family 🧡
i wish I had watched this during my exchange year, my host parents were usually absent and i also feel that my host mother wanted to fill the void of her children moving out of home
Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope potential, and current, host families stumble across this video and give themselves a self check. It really does have an effect on you as a person, and your exchange experience! Thanks again, for sharing.
My kid just signed up with the CBYX program, I am so excited, and so scared for him at the same time. He is such a soft spoken young man, hard working and respectful with integrity. Im hoping he finds a good host family with morals, and wont take advantage of his kind nature. Im praying that this is a wonderful experience, not something he'll have to recover from.
@@Abcd-jz4gp American going to Germany
I would be feeling your SAME feelings! I wish him Godspeed as well. May his time there be beneficial for his life. Keep in good contact with him!
@@Abcd-jz4gp We didn't do it. I cancelled everything. He participated in a semester program in the Alaskan bush instead.
My best friend is an international student and twice she has had to have police intervene and change home stays. And her last didn’t try and force her to participate in this religion but they might as well have since the wife would play Buda music for hours a day, making it hard for her to study, sleep or relax.
These types of stories make me sad. I'm sorry your best friend experienced a difficult time. I wish all host families would prepare better in order to make it a great experience for all. Thank you for commenting for others to see how important it is!
The last one!! We were two teenage girls in that house and they always said things about the food, apparently we ate too much oh but it wasn't bc of the money, they said that it could make us sick, but when I spend my dads allowance on food (even though they we paid) it was suddenly OK to eat whatever amount. When we talked about this to the coordinator they got "upset" bc they've never had a problem, and I told the woman that by contract she had to feed us 3 times a day, SHE WENT TO PRINT THE CONTRACT AND RUB IN OUR FACES THAT IT SAID ONLY 2 MEALS A DAY. My part of the town didn't have any busses so we had to ask them every weekend to drive us to the mall but a lot of times "the weather was too bad" but suddenly the next day we didn't have any plans they said things like "oh we can drive you, we spend a lot on gas for you two, but it doesn't matter".
The host mom would look through my phone, I was 15, I didn't have anything bad but when I showed her a picture she would go through the others and say "I just want to make sure you don't have anything bad" or in videocalls with friends and family she would grab my phone and "look who I was talking to" like wth???? I finally changed families 6 months later, my last 4 months were the best.
Thank you for sharing your experience here. I think it's important for host families to read real life feedback of what they do and say and how it effects students. This channel is a space for that! Sometimes, things are said and done that are downright odd! The truth is, as students, you can see through their intentions. If you cannot bring up topics to your host parents to find solutions, because they will not listen to you, that is not good at all. Coordinators need be better liaisons for the students in cases like these. I am happy to hear the story turned out well and that with your new family, you had a good relationship! 😎 Again, thank you for sharing!
Did you pay the host family a monthly stipend?
I think this works both ways tho. I hosted a German student a few years ago knew b4hand she was veggie that was no issue. Made a fresh veg and chickpea curry the night she arrived but no she didn't want it. Nor fresh pasta with either 🍅 sauce or pesto. NOR a butternut squash risotto I had in the freezer. Brought her shopping next evening as I could see she was fussy only to be told she didn't like 🍞🍚🥚 pasta, any kind of soya or quorn or any meat fish etc or most fruits and veggies . However she DID want the dearest brands of everything and my food bill was over double what it usually was. That's not sustainable or realistic and noone could keep that up. She also moaned that most German foods are not available here but nothing I could do about that. Part of the exchange is supposed to be trying out another culture including the food. She always had her 3 meals a day and how many snacks she wanted, no problem.
However in a few occsions when I was out I returned home to find she had friends over for a meal and raided my cupboards and fridge using €40-60 worth of food WITHOUT asking. This did annoy me when it kept happening as my contract was to feed her, NOT 4-5 of her friends. And the supervisor told me that in those instances that if they want to cook extra meals etc then they have to pay for that rather than wiping out cupboards etc. I often had her friends here and had no issue with making them 🍕🍟🍔🍿 etc and providing snacks but a line has to be drawn somewhere. Its not all about the €€€€ as u insinuate, but a lot of host families do do it partially for the money but neither side should take advantage either.
She turned 16 while here and I organised a party for her bought a lovely cake, had loads of cupcakes snacks party food etc laid on for her and she invited over her friends but I got not one word of thanks for it. In fact I sent the party pics to her mum who she had lied to and told her that she just went out for pizza 🍕 on her birthday but I had photos that showed otherwise including a fab cake with the irish and German flags on it that I had specially made.....much thanks did I get for it!!
2 sides to every story
It depends on the private agency, how they structure things. Some governments in certain countries have their own programs.
I have not heard of a student paying a family directly. If there was a stipend, it came through an agency.
Glad I discovered your videos. I'm in the Rotary Youth Exchange program in the USA. I think your Reasons FOR Hosting and What Not to do will be quite useful in our host family training along with our regular training content. Thanks.
Nice to meet you :) I am happy you found them helpful!
Great, great, great advice!!!!!!!!! Hosting a student is a blessing! It’s a treasure! Not only is it fun, it’s a responsibility!
Responsible to that student..
Responsible to be caring, loving, sharing, patient, humble…
All things that make a person just a great human being in general!
I’ve hosted 30 students, and now work with an exchange program, now that I can’t host students due to lack of space in my house.
So thanks for sharing this advice!
I’ll be watching your other videos now!
30 students? Incredible! Thanks for weighing in your thoughts about how to host. Good luck in your work with the exchange program, we need wise people to be a good influence everywhere :)
My family and I have hosted 27 students, all very good students except for 2. Both from Germany. One, the female, actually expected we go out every evening to restaurants or coffee bars and expected us to go away every weekend, we don't because it's expensive. We had a talk with the exchange student rep and the student. We'll, it was finally resolved. The male we had asked to use my laptop and corrupted it with animal porn. He was gone that night. So it is hit and miss. The two females from China hardly left their room, but eventually, they adjusted to our way of life and one young lady did enjoy our church youth group that when she returned to China she joined a Christian church in China. She eventually returned to the US to a Christian college and then transferred to SMU, where she graduated and was offered a job. We are so proud of her, although we did lose contact with her. She was a joy to have. The last one we had was a last-minute request to take in, and she was from Japan. She was an incredible young woman. We were invited to visit her and her family in japan. It was amazing except for the fact that I'm 6'9" and Japan is not built for my size. Well, neither is the US, but I've adapted. My family and I did have a really good time in Japan, especially during Halloween. It was a blast. It was the most fun I could have had dressed as Jason Voorhees. Try it out. It's not as bad as you might think. Just keep in touch with the coordinator.
We are hosting one from N. now; I regret we signed up for it. She snuck out at 1 am with my 14 y/o, was asking her where to get cigarettes, expecting us to pay for her stuff,,, no more. The best part is her mother has not sent me a single message since she arrived.
@@irynafox3593 I'm sorry to hear that but like I said. It is hit or miss. I'm still going to try to host again but in rural Arkansas. Bad thing it's rural Arkansas, good thing is mudding, horseback riding, hunting (if they're allowed), small town events.
@@Razorpig378 . thank you. Will see how it goes but it has been two very stressful weeks for me.
@@irynafox3593 you should have access to whoever the regional contact is. For any reason your student does anything against your rules and especially against the law you can have them dismissed from the exchange program.
Sorry to hear that :(
Tried it twice and kids were very unappreciative and conceited because I lived in an apartment and their friends lived in a house. They knew this prior but chose to wait until they were living with me before complaining... they eventually got what they wanted and relocated to a family with a house. Never again
Thanks for sharing your experience. That is an aspect I've had to deal with, that of navigating when your student sees a difference in something and things, just are, as they are. Students would do well to consider if that "thing" really is important or not before making it a big deal. It takes a lot for an individual, or family to open their home in the first place. (Especially during the lingering pandemic!) Respect and a measure of thankfulness can go a long way. There are good students out there who would have loved the apartment. I'm sorry you're experience wasn't pleasant.
We hosted once and the whole time we had the feeling the student didn‘t want anything to do with us. He used every possibility to leave the table (where we sat and had eaten together) and go to his room.
He has also already organized dates in the hostcountry while he was still in his country! (Guess over tinder or something similar?!) 🤯
In the beginning my mom explained that we have chores in the house, and that every kid has to help with them. (Eg. Washing dishes after dinner etc.) The student usually just left the table, took his phone, went to the room next to the kitchen and started chatting with someone so he wouldn’t have to participate.
So the hosting experience wasn‘t really great.
But what made it worse, the things the student wrote about himself in the application were absolutely NOT true! 🤯
This application is not to get a job or anything, it’s to get a host family that fits you!
And last but not least, the student hadn’t read anything about the country he was going to except for famous travel locations (so he could show off on instagram etc.). So when the student arrived he expected us and everyone in town to just speak english to him, because he wanted to learn english. But english isn’t an official language in this country.
I had a similar experience. I think some exchange companies are better at mitigating those things than others. I will never recommend ISE.
Thank you for sharing your experience, though it was a very frustrating one!
We will never do it again. While our student was generally a sweet young lady she was also lazy, unmotivated and totally wasted her entire year because she lived on her phone the entire time. It was so discouraging to plan an outing or trip or event only to have her barely look up from her phone. Yes, we tried to talk to her and yes, we made rules but it became a battle so we just gave up. We all got so sick of saying, Please put down the phone. She was ungrateful and had no interest in anything, not at school, not with us and was totally unwilling to embrace and learn from the world around her. It was so sad and we were pretty annoyed at all of our efforts being met with apathy. She
Thank you for sharing your experience. I do wonder why parents allow/encourage their child to go on exchange with attitudes and habits like this? Maybe they don't realize, or maybe they hope other parental figures will help get rid of the habits? Not a good idea. I want to say thank you for giving this hosting adventure a try! You rock! Frustrating situations definitely take the motivation and fun out of what it could have been. Again, thank you for writing here for others to see.
Yes I did it twice nd never again. My first student was German with a v similar attitude to what u described above even tho I threw her birthday party brought her on holiday twice once to UK and twice to other parts of Ireland she was quite rude and ungrateful and I sensed was slagging me off behind my back to other students. I was lucky in the sense she was quiet and did respect house rules etc but she was very withdrawn nd distant no matter how nice I tried to be to her. Toward the end I just gave up and let her do her own thing but kept eye from a distance.
The second student was from Spain and only 40 mins here when she started causing issues. She decided she didn't like my home or my pets nor the fact that we don't have kids (even tho I sent her pics of all this by email beforehand and she knew all this). She rang her coordinator behind my back to complain who rang me and was very rude to me tbh especially when I pointed out that she was only 40 mins here and already causing issues and that she was aware of circumstances b4 she arrived. She had a lovely double room and her own bathroom also which I did up b4 she arrived. Anyway we thought she might just be unsettled and next day brought her out to lunch had drive and tour of the area and thought she was starting to settle in.
However next day she attended school only for me to get a call froo coordinator saying she had complained again about my home etc and she wanted to move to a family home. I said no problem and let her go. She was a total madam.....no need at all for her attitude and very unfair. The laugh was on her though cos I heard after that she was moved out to the countryside to a family with small toddlers who drove her mad, no broadband and in middle of nowhere and that she was soon screaming to come back into town again but the agency refused to move her again!!! Wheras my house is 5 mins from her school and everything in town!! So she basically shot herself in her own foot!!
As it turns out she actually did me a big favour. Heard months later that the agency went bust overnight and disappeared leaving host families unpaid after hosting for 3 months. So all in all I dodged a bullet
Can you please host me at your place ? I won't be lazy, I promise
@@Milkchocolate99 that’s sweet. Where are you from?
@@fivebluelakes8948 how should I reach you so we could talk more ??
One case here in Ireland that really scared a lot of people was when a Swiss exchange student was murdered in Galway City, having only been here a few days. She apparently refused to listen to her host parents instructions and advice not to take a short cut in to the city which had had several attacks on women in the previous months and years. She promised them she wouldn't take the short cut, but did anyway, and was raped and killed. Her body was discovered right along the route she had been told not to go. I really cannot imagine the torment her poor family went through and also her host parents who are tormented to this day. Unfortunately she was 17 and almost an adult, but still enough of a teenager to think she knew better and to take a chance on taking that short cut and paid with her young life. It also seems she didn't want a lift in to the city to meet her friends and insisted on walking. It turned out that her killer had attacked and raped a French student only 7 weeks before and was under investigation for that crime also.
Thankfully he was caught and got life imprisonment for the murder plus an extra 10 years for theft and then he got 2 further life sentences for the French students rape (life in Ireland can mean 15 years, so the judge was trying to ensure that he will not see the light of day for at least 45 years and rightly so).
What a dreadful nightmare for everyone concerned. A thing to note here is that the agency involved apparently behaved very badly and the host family have allegedly said that as soon as the trouble started that the agency immediately started dodging responsibility and accusing the family of 'victim blaming' when it was pointed out the warning she had been given about certain areas. This is very unfair. As with any 17 year old teenager you are dealing with a young lady who is almost an adult, but who may have lived either a very sheltered life or indeed in parts of Europe parents have a much more liberal attitude than we would have and kids are encouraged to be much more independent more early in life than Irish kids. Add to the mix the fact that they are away from home often for the first time and that they may push and test boundaries more do than they do at home and its a big worry for host parents. I myself hosted and the girl was a good girl and not rebellious but I still worried about her constantly. Unfortunately as with anything else in life when they reach a certain age of independence and start moving around themselves there is only so much you can do to protect and watch over them. My heart breaks for her poor parents as she was their only child.
I also advise checking with the agency who is the child's legal guardian while in your country.....the host family or the agency?? And where would you stand legally, if, God forbid a similar situation were to arise? In my case the agency are technically the legal guardian's of the students, but the family in this case did complain that the agency tried to wriggle out of this and throw blame at them. So I made sure to check my facts with my solicitor before agreeing to take on anyone else's child.
Biological parents back home also need to be careful of what they say and liaising with the host parents also. Another lady I know who hosted at the same time as me overheard the girl complain to her father on the phone about strict rules and he said "oh make yourself independent of her and do your own things". First -'the girl was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY - this was reckless advice on his part. Secondly who is "her"??? That is an extremely disrespectful and rude term to use about anybody, especially someone he had never met or spoken to. Thirdly he should have advised his daughter "please listen to your host parents. They have your safety and best interests at heart and thry are trying to keep you safe and they know the area". Instead he more or less seemed to be saying to the girl to more or less, be defiant and do as she pleased. I was frankly, shocked at hearing his attitude and thank God I did not have to deal with him!! These are the kinds of things you can come up against unfortunately.
Thank you for your thorough response. You bring up a lot of important points to consider. First off, what a horrible, horrible thing to happen to the Swiss exchange student and the effects on those who cared about her. Ugh, my heart just breaks :(
Taking on the responsibility of another human being is a risk. Your note about finding out who is the legal guardian invites us to take a step deeper into hosting, and the importance of taking it seriously. I have felt a little push back from a couple students when I followed through with asking where they were going, and who they'd be with, but that's the way it has to be! I'm friendly, but I'm not their friend in the sense that they can do whatever they want (I could go on, and will in a future video).
It is NOT ok for agencies to play dumb to THEIR responsibilities. The scenario you described makes me upset. I understand it's hard for them to find willing and good families/individuals in the first place, let alone new ones to transfer to from bad ones at the drop of a hat. In the end, not protecting students by way of the hosts that care for them, is not ethical. My suggestion is, if host parents are encountering problems with their student, speak up! If you have to, keep calling, arranging meetings and showing up at agency offices until you are heard. Find a new agency if things don't get resolved, or don't host any more. It's a sad fact that some amazing people won't ever host again because of the agency's irresponsibility!
To the parent(s) with a laissez-faire attitude about their child respecting the wisdom of those who volunteer to take care of your child, don't waste our time. Navigate your own child in your own home- not ours.
To the student(s) who want to exchange, but chose not to follow the rules you signed your name to, don't bother coming. You will get more support from your parent(s) at home then you will at the homes of strangers who take on A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY AND RISK to make sure you are safe (let alone, who care enough to make your exchange time extraordinary). Period.
sapphire22011, thank you for the comment and the important points for all of us to reflect on 💛
@@hfesLIFE Thank you. The Swiss students name was Manuela Riedo you can Google her case. It certainly does raise issues. Which is why I thought through my responsibilities very thoroughly before I hosted and went through all my responsibilities legally and morally. Like yourself, I adopt the attitude with students yes I'm your friend and you can ask me anything etc, but I'm only your friend to a point. After that I can and will follow through where it concerns your safety etc. I was lucky in the sense that my German student was a good girl and not rebellious but I do remember one incident where another host parent who I had kept my distance from as I felt she was irresponsible, asked my student to a party which was in a pub. My student was just 15 and underage to be in a pub here at that age, so I checked with the co-ordinator who said absolutely not. In the end to avoid a confrontation I simply rang the pub and had a discreet word with the manager, reminding him of the laws and penalties of allowing underage drinkers on the premises. He assured me that 15 years olds would not be admitted under any circumstances snd that the pub had bouncers at the door who operated a very strict policy. In the end, it all worked out but I was annoyed at the other host mum who invited teenagers to the party without checking with us other host parents first. Unfortunately this is what u are up against. Thank God my student was safe. The only issue she came up against was her bike was stolen in town. Long story short- she had joined an after school kickboxing club and for some unknown reason one night she decided to leave her bike chained to the town park gates, in spite of having been told repeatedly not to go near the Park after dark as it wasn't safe. She, in typical teenage fashion decided she knew better - and her bike was promptly stolen!! She was very upset about it but nothing could be done about it and it was a lesson she had had to learnbthe hard way. Thank God it was 'only' the bike and thst she wasn't the victim of a more serious crime.
I have to say I am surprised at sone European families attitudes regarding rules and safety. From my perspective
I was in touch with the family, her mum especially by email in the weeks before the. Exchange. I did give her mum my Skype and private phone numbers and suggested a chat but she seemed to want to converse via email only. I was very surprised as I thought the parents would jump at the chance to speak personally to the person who had responsibility of their daughter for 9 months. However I respected her wishes and kept correspondence via email but I just found that it was maybe a cultural difference.
Like you I would always advocate speaking up at the first sign of trouble, organising meetings etc.
Yes, I have come up against other host parents who care less about the safety of their students and it confuses me.
Anytime a parent wants to get in contact with me about their child I am caring for, I am delighted!
The comment was for "I'm surprised at some European families attitudes regarding rules and safety." Thanks for clearing things up!
@@hfesLIFE OK. Got to admit I wondered cis was very surprised. I will remove my last comment. Thank you.
The two girls we're hosting at this time have been horribly disrespectful to us...like keeping a horrible mess...refusing to stop eating chips and leaving half bag chips all over the floor...half hour late to dinner...we thought they'd enjoy going places in our HUGE motorhome, but they complained, is too boring.
I posted a video on my YT ch...they left a horrible mess and destroyed table top leaving spilled nailpolish remover...ground in cookies in new carpet...
its horribly upsetting with their being so disrespected. We have a LOT of money invested in their coming here. They refuse to eat our food as one hates ALL fruit, ALL veggies...wants just noodles and candy. She sobbed, when I took away her 20 bags candy...she promised was buying to take home...but she ate most of it.
Her diet is horrible....she refuses to eat most of what we prepare...healthy meals...we're feeling pretty bad and we've spent a lot of money so far.
That sounds frustrating. Maybe a call to your coordinator to mitigate the situation might be helpful. Sometimes it helps to have a third party when there are hurt feelings. I might also suggest having "family council" on a weekly, or semi-weekly basis to talk about things that are going well and things that need to improve. This video speaks briefly about it ruclips.net/video/tHfUI4j6VxA/видео.html and there will be another video in the future to go into more detail. Family Council has helped us to work on issues in a non-confrontational way. Thank you for commenting!
I am I future exchange student and this video put my mind at ease! I really hope I get a host family similar to you
Thank you for watching! I hope whomever you are placed with chooses to be mature and responsible and it's an extraordinary experience for you all! :)
Hey it's been a month how it went
same, in less than a week i'm gonna go apply and give it a go.
We fit all criteria, we did it for the right reason, didn't get reimbursed at all. They found a friend who they wanted to live with more and were able to move homes because they "weren't bonding" we feel completely disenfranchised
I'm sorry this happened. Families like yours, hosting for the right reasons, should be held on to! It frustrates me that the agency didn't pull through! We always hope for the best match with students, and it's almost heart-breaking when it's not. Thank you for sharing your experience here for others to read and thank you for giving hosting a try 🧡
I am applying for YES myself as a student
I think it all depends on the kid you are getting and for sure it's hard to be with someone completely different from you for 1 year
Definitely! Not all matches of host families to exchange students are perfect, and that's ok. As long as there is respect from both parties, whether you work it out and live together, or find a new host family, it's all good. Good luck in your exchange journey!! 👊
My husband and I are 35 and would like to host in a couple years when we have a bigger house. We have no kids. I've worked with kids and teens a lot. I actually thought it was volunteer and no stipend.
It depends on the agency you are working with, if they are volunteer, or if they provide a stipend. I wish I could say which one is more prevalent and available. I know of host families who will ONLY do volunteer hosting, and, other families who couldn't ever host without a stipend. There are pro's to both, and as long as care and respect are involved, it's going to be a great experience! I think your experience working with kids and teens will be an asset to you! 😀 Good luck on your journey!
I hope you can become a host family soon!
Don't go with ISE, they are awful
i have the option to become an exchange student. i'm kinda nervous because i'm a bit of the quiet nice kind of person, but i hope things go well. i'll join in on the meeting held in one of the classrooms and ask about it there, and give it a go. i will be grateful for everything provided for me and those taking care of me. not asking for anything fancy anyway. just coming along to create memories, bonds and learn something new.
I am happy you are choosing to go on exchange!! I hope they match you with a family that cares about you and you have an extraordinary experience! Best of luck to you and thanks for watching :)
Hi,
I found yogur vídeo very interesting as I agree with your 5 reasons not to host an exchange student.
I have been a host Mom of au pairs from other countries. We did not treat them as au pairs, we treated them as a new member of our family and all we wanted from them was that they spoke in English with our children and to look after them while we were working. I always took them on holiday with us even they received a week pay. I looked after them as if they were my own daughters and gave them advice. Some of them have come back to visit us and we have gone to Scotland to visit them and their families.
Now I am on the opposite site. My daughter has been admitted to the J1 exchange program in USA. The USA agency is ICES.
My sister did that program 30 years ago and her host parents had offered to be my daughter’s host parents but they live in a rural area. They are really nice but We have decided to leave the agency look for a host family. I don’t know if we have chosen the best decision after hearing so many bad experiences about host families. But I hope she is lucky to find a loving family.
Do you think ICES agency usually solves the problems between exchange students and host families?
And the question the Spanish agency has not answered to me is: do the agency really try to match the student with the host family considering personality, hobbies…?
The agency has told me that the host family chooses the student. But do they really consider that the chosen student will match in their family and be happy with them and the school the student must attend?
Thanks
Thanks for watching and sharing your experiences! It seems as if you created an extraordinary family culture you all appreciated. Isn't it so nice when the relationship continues!
I also hope you are able to help your daughter find a loving host family, too.
Having never worked with ICES I cannot say if problems are solved well between host families and students. Often, it comes down to the local people who are running it. Because even if an agency shares on their website how good they are (which all of them state their vision and intentions) but do the locals running it believe, support and fulfill the mission? It's hard to say. And if past years were bad, did they fire those people and get new ones who are great? I really wish there was a better way to judge each program in real time!
The matching student to host thing has been curious to me as well. When we began hosting we did get to choose the year-long student. I read through all of the profiles and tried my best to find a match and crossed my fingers they weren't spoken for when the day opened to put in the request. The way it's done has changed for us. Our coordinator lets us know if there are students who needs to be placed and she really tries to match us up - so far so good. At the same time, if students want/need to be moved she will call, desperate for somewhere to place them, again - so far so good. I don't think we'll always bat 100 with intended matches... I'd like to think all coordinators care, but some don't and some are desperate for ANY home. My guess would be to see if you can talk with the coordinator who your child will be working with and get a feel for how responsive they are to listening to your concerns. And ask for recommendations on families that are eligible. I know one of our students parents looked me up online and got to know our family before she even came :) He emailed me beforehand too, which I like, in order to build a common concern for the needs of his daughter. That might be a good route to try as well.
Again, thanks for commenting. I hope it turns out great with your daughter! :)
ok? ok. Thanks!
Wait why do i love that
😁 Thanks for the comment! Ok? Ok. Thanks! 👍
If you have extra space in the house, it's a good way to get paid while having checked, reliable "tenants".
Thanks for commenting! Not all hosting is paid, yet having people who have gone through a checked process does help ease the mind for sure!
I really hate my exchange student and I feel like nobody else feels that way or is able to relate :(
I'm sorry it doesn't seem like it's working out for you. Have you been able to share with your coordinator issues you've been experiencing?
Sorry she was ungrateful :( It's understandable why some try it once and never again.
our exchange student got moved from a mentally abusive home to ours so we had her from october to june 4th so we just let her go yesterday:(
That's a long time to have someone! It's hard to say goodbye to ones you've cared for that have been thankful to spend time with you. Thanks for the comment. Will you be hosting again?
She's so underated 🥺💖
Thanks for watching! :)
@@hfesLIFE Np💜
Working together whether subscribing or signing up works for each other to provide success
That is true! Thank you for watching! :)
What is a good reason to host? I would like to but I am afraid of irresponsible and disrespectful kids.
Hello! Thanks for watching, and that's a good question. This video shares the reasons why I think someone should host ruclips.net/video/ozxk5a_FDxs/видео.html! I wish I could give a guarantee that you wouldn't get an irresponsible and disrespectful student, but it is a risk. Every new school year that comes up in my mind, I have a conversation with myself, mentally prepping myself to say goodbye if the match isn't a good fit. I guess I'm willing to move forward with it because I know if it doesn't work out, they can move to a different house. Different individuals have different tolerance levels for things. In the end, if a new family cannot be found then they live with the coordinator. If the student broke major rules or just can't get it together, they get sent home. My biggest advice if you get a child like that, be annoying about calling your coordinator and agency. They do tend to sit on it a little, hoping things smooth out over time. Good luck if you choose this adventure! :)
Good point on all of this. In college I encountered a few people that were international. After something like twenty or thirty years. Sometimes for one reason or another they do go back to their own country and do what they studied about in their own Homeland. Knowing that very many things happening in life. Although just if you're curious and you look up the person's name or birthday internationally there are so many people with very similar names and international laws very different. They may have gone through something.. and I heard an agency for them to disappear from someone in their own country. It's just a little bit different and somebody might not ever see that exchange student ever again, it's just seems kind of strange and different and it kind of makes a person wonder whatever happened to them. Are they alive. Did they pass away. Did they get a good job. Did they Die in a disaster. It just seems like a empty type thing.. not going to lose sleep over it but it just makes someone Wonder 🤔
Oh, wow. I've never heard of that but that sounds scary! I hope in time they show up and they were not involved in something tragic!
Thank you for watching and the comment.
The organizations who handle these exchange programs . These organizations need to do a serious background checks on those host families.
I agree wholeheartedly to this!!
I would treat them as my own child but probably sweeter because they will only be with me for a year or so.i wish I could host while my daughter goes if that's what she wishes but my fiance is not a person of rules the way I am 😫
Thank you for watching and commenting. Our hearts can be in the right place and things aren't able to work out like we wish. It's good to be reminded there are kind people like you! :)
i am an international student who will move to usa after 7 months to study aviation , how can i find a family to live with ????????
i am clean , helpful , friendly , i can help them in the home works and give them salary in exchane of my accomodation with them .....
Thanks for commenting! It sounds like you are a possible intern? You can check to see if there are agencies who specialize in fitting interns with families near you. If you cannot find any, sometimes there are social media groups who might be willing to connect you to families. I wish you luck in your search!
Yeah you nailed it here.
I try to nail as much as I'm able to. Thanks for the comment!
We had extra "daughters" mainly over 12 years,,,ranging in age from 14 ..through high school and then young Chinese adults who were usually graduates and here in NZ for post grad reasons. Also,, for two years in another town giving weekend "exeats" /breaks to boys at a local boarding school.
On the whole, yes we'd do it again... by the stage we started our own 3 children were finished with school and university, whatever and we were both teachers. Right..that's the background.
It doesn't take a special person to do this...just one with common sense, good rapport and judgement, steadiness and understanding of what the girls (in our case ) might be coping with culturally and with language. Japanese and probably all Asian. girls will often say what they think you expect or would like to hear,,, and may just not let on how they really feel --they can "pull down the shutters" at will.
That said,,,,as they say..we are still in contact with 3 or 4,,, one is a special friend of our much travelled daughter and came across from Europe to her wedding, and has been back 4x to visit us. You don't need to be super parent. Just a well balanced etc etc person try it. It's like getting a box of chocolates....
Well said!! Thank you for weighing in with your experience and giving sound advice to readers! You've had a broad experience with different forms of hosting and ages. You bring up a good point about understanding cultures that might not encourage openness with one's feelings. That's something I seek to make known to each of our students, providing opportunities to get to know them, allow for sharing of my own feelings (about life) and asking questions about themselves, really listening to them, and asking their opinions about big and small things. Haha, I guess I don't know if my efforts have paid off, I'd have to take a poll of past students to see how they felt about it. Yet, I do feel as if they feel safe with me as a parental figure, and most are still in touch :)
It's wonderful to hear you're still in touch and visits continue. Well done!! Again, thanks for sharing!
These points are EXCELLENT, thank you for saying this!!
Happy to share!! Thank you for watching and commenting :)
What about reasons TO host?
Great question! Try this one out! ruclips.net/video/ozxk5a_FDxs/видео.html
I’ve hosted three times: one great experience, one mediocre, one just awful. It’s a dice roll. The awful child at least left after only a week to a different home (she wanted something less rural).
A dice roll sounds pretty accurate. Glad the hard one wasn't there for long! Can I ask, where are you located?
I'm from ___________ and we change into our pj's right after school work......NOT!!!!
Honest question: Do we receive any money for hosting? I like the idea of having international students in my house. I have a 11 years old kid. I do have two nice extra bedrooms in my house but unfortunately I can not afford hosting for free.
Thre're programs that pay around $300 per month
Hi! Thanks for watching and your question. To answer, it all depends on the agency. If you'd like to host to provide a genuine experience and being compensated for room, board and transportation is the last hurdle to doing that, contact agencies near you, or, look them up online to see if a stipend is what they provide. A Private School program might be one that will fit your needs. I hope you get to host and good luck on your journey!
our program doesn't pay us anything
I am thinking of hosting down the road. I read up you have to feed the student 3 times a day. I know I could do breakfast and dinner, but not lunch....what if I give the kido lunch money?
Hello! Thanks for your question. Feeding doesn't always equate to making the meal. If you provide the food and they have access to it when they are hungry, that is feeding them.
Our students have made their lunches at home and brought them to school. Some prefer to use their personal spending money to go out to eat. Food is available for breakfast, and some of them don't prefer to eat that early (I didn't as a teenager). I do make dinner every night and we sit down to chat and build relationships.
Every situation might not look the same. You have to work out what is best for everyone in the home.
I hope you get the opportunity to host and that it's a great experience! 😀
Just found your channel and it would be interesting if you have insight into when a exchange student is doing it for the "wrong" reasons. I will review your channel to see, but that might help explain how some students just don't mix with any host family.
Glad you came across the channel. "Umm... No. Don't Exchange" is in the queue to do! You're right, it'll probably help explain how some students don't mix with any host family. Thanks for watching and the encouragement :)
I want to be a student coordinator. I feel confident in the work and feel inspired, but what is the pay structure? I'm so confused on the pay. please help
Hi, thanks for your comment! Unfortunately, I don't have any knowledge of this aspect. I've never been a coordinator before. I think checking into and calling agencies near you would be a good step. They can answer all of your questions. The world needs good coordinators! :)
@@hfesLIFE thank you Mrs. Host Life
My job meaning something is what inspires me@@Abcd-jz4gp
how do you report a bad host family?
You would need to contact the direct coordinator involved with the student. If needed, sometimes the agency needs to be involved. Hopefully the police don't need to be called - that has happened in some situations. Thanks for asking, I hope it turns out well.
Going to a strange family is not a good idea. Travel when you are an adult.
It is a risk for sure. Would I have done it as a teenager? No. And for your reason, too! :)
Yet, I think that's why I'm so passionate about helping others have a good experience. I think it matters a whole lot about the intentions of the student coming and the intentions of the receiving host family. It's a life changing experience for both! And since people are still doing it, let's do it as best as we can.
And... travel as an adult!! Thanks for the comment Ursula!
The Title here is Misleading!
That means you are probably a good person! 😀
I really want to discourage people to host who are not ready to, for each of those 5 reasons. At the very least, that this video makes people re-check their reasons for hosting. The students deserve that, because this experience will be a part of their life's story!
Also, the title and description will usually describe more of what is in there, if you're not sure about what's on the thumbnail.
Thanks for watching and the comment!
@@hfesLIFE I guess my point was is that the Title seems to be WARNING people they should NEVER host an exchange student! Perhaps a better title would have been "If you're thinking about hosting an Exhange Student .Consider the Following Carefully First!" Just my two cents here!
@@balancedactguy thank you for your two cents! Always welcome 😀
To fill your newly empty nest 😳 Do NOT host to fill the void of your own children leaving your home. Students are not looking for new families, they have their own already but hope to be an addition to yours, not in place of, while they are here.
Very wise words! Thank you for watching and commenting! :)
Hey Jenni, I've been watching your videos and I think commenting is a good way to reach out to you because I need your help.
I'm an American born who has been living in a different country (Mongolia) because my parents are from there and so I have both Mongolian and US passports and I will become a US citizen.
This year (my sophomore year) my parents sent me to my aunt who I had never met for me to study in Austin TX, but quickly realized me and my aunt do not get along
The education here in the States is so much better and I want to stay for the 2 more years of HS but the problem is my aunt is already set on sending me back to Mongolia.
I cant go back knowing that I could be taking AP classes which NEVER offered in Mongolia. Please help ! Who should I reach out what agency should I even apply to find myself a host family?!
Just in case you didn't see the first reply, here it is again. :)
Thank you for reaching out. I can see you are in a tough spot. The best advice I can offer is to search - a lot- on agencies who offer the type of program you are looking for. For example, private program, rotary club or traditional program, based on where you'd like to end up in the States. Check out my video titled "What Do You Call Them?" ruclips.net/video/K1-_IFMt-aw/видео.html to learn more about programs offered.
Since there's probably a lot of paperwork to complete between you and your parents, calling these potential agencies might help you navigate around faster, before the fall semester.
Or, maybe there's a friend you've met locally who would have you in their home with their family, then you can search agencies near where you are. It doesn't hurt to ask around and the worst they can say is no.
Since I do not represent agencies, this is the best advice I can give. I hope this helps and I hope you will get to have the education choice you wish! Good luck!
can you be an exchange student even though you’re 15 and still in high school? this like a real question because i don’t know. i’m so sorry for disturbing you.
Great question! Yes, you can. Each of our students the past few years are high school aged. You will need parent permission and to find an agency to work with. Good luck!
I started my exchange year at 15 and I’m a junior in a high school in the US now for 10 months
My wife and I have the easy part of this, we're the Aunt and Uncle to exchange students so we get to take them to do fun things like skiing or ice-skating or to the movies. We get the fun part without the day to day work of dealing with teens.
Out of around 20 kids every single one of them were polite and worked hard on their studies and took their stay here seriously as far as school but also knew how to have good clean fun just doing things like the above listed things.
Every single Asian girl we did fun stuff with was surprised that as husband and wife we were also best friends.
I think ours is the best part of having an exchange student.
Haha! This is legit great! I hadn't even considered what an Aunt or Uncle being involved would look like. Thank you for being an awesome addition to the whole experience!! :)
Don’t exchange for the money- what money? 😂 Families in Canada earn about 5 times what families do in the US. When I considered it the stipend would even cover food.
Thanks for watching! That's interesting to know about exchange rates in Canada. Sounds like the stipend (from whichever agency you're looking at) wouldn't go far. A stipend is better than nothing if you need additional funds to host, but may not come close to covering actual costs. Thanks for the comment!
I've read some of the comments of host parents under the video and unfortunately I saw lot of people saying that the students were disrespectful... does it have to do something with if the kids paid for the exchange year or not? I don't want to judge or anything but maybe the kids who are selected are more respectful and more ''mature'' because they have to go through multiple rounds to get into the program... does it have to do something with it? I'm not sure about all procedures in both cases, I'm only familiar with the second one I mentioned...
Hi, thanks for the comment! You bring up an interesting thought. Not having worked in agencies who vet teenagers who want to come as international students or on a cultural exchange, I can't say whether or not it's the case.
From my experience (childhood 4 times, and adulthood 10 times in 7 years - and in hearing our student's friend's experiences in real time) disrespectful attitudes can come from several places:
First being, primary family basic attitudes. Second, age and maturity level of student plus their intentions of traveling to another country. Third, the host family's negative lens which rubs off on the student (which can be magnified by lack of clear, friendly expectations and regular communication, etc...).
Major disrespect hasn't been something we've had to deal with yet. We inevitably will because we're all just people :) We've hosted students from different "income classes" and it hasn't been a thing. Those are my 2 cents. Thanks for commenting!
Hi, I'm currently on exchange and My family is onky of me and my hist mom. I feel like since her kid is no longer home she wanted to have me to fill that place. It has been 3 weeks and I haven't done anything yet, she never brings up things to do or places to go. I'm really struggling especially seeing other exchange always out with their host siblings or family in general. What can I do? Is that a big enough reason to ask for a change of family?
That sounds like a difficult situation. Being 4 months since you left this comment you might have already solved the issue. Yes, I feel that if it's important to you, then it's important to share with your coordinator. At the least they will be made aware and if thing keep as they are, steps can be taken. I hope it turns out well!
Hi, I love your video and this helps me understand alot more thank you. I really want to become an exchange student and explore the new places but I'm really scared if I might down grade when I get there or when I get back.
Hi! Thank you for watching. I'm glad you find value in the content :) It is a step into the dark when you go on a new adventure. Where will you live, who will you meet, what will the situation be like, will you like, or dislike the experience? I wish I could tell you how it will go for you, yet in the end, no one knows and that's the nerve wracking and exciting part! If you decide to become an exchange student, your experience will become part of your life's story that most humans don't have! Also, I believe if your exchange opens your eyes to the wonders of the world and opens your heart to those who are different from you, that will count as an upgrade, no matter the circumstance. Good luck on your adventure!
can u recommend any agencys/programs Id love to study abroad im from the US
Hello! I am not familiar with all agencies and programs offered throughout the world. My best recommendations would be to look into agencies near where you live and to ask friends/acquaintances if they know someone who studied abroad and who they went with. I wish I could help you more. Good luck on your search, I hope you get to study abroad! :)
EF
I'd recommend AFS
Why
Agreed.
I saw the movie Foreign Exchange Student on Tubi. The Exchange Student is from Dominica and she's a killer 😄😄😄
Oh, man! Lol. I won't ever watch that!! 😮😅
What do you do if you’re hosting a student and find out your son and the student have been in a relationship? Complicated situation especially if she’s moving away.
Can we get into trouble? Thanks
Hello! I wish I would have seen this sooner, except I haven't experienced this or come across a similar situation when reading others experiences, so I cannot give definitive advice. Your situation is probably over, feel free to comment how it went and your thoughts about how you chose to handle it.
As for how my family would approach it - it's not something that we would allow. Hosting can be complicated enough. And building and maintaining trust within all members of the household is paramount to making the arrangement work... for that reason we would respectfully have the student relocated to another home. That way if the relationship were to continue it would be approached like any other dating/boyfriend/girlfriend relationship based on typical family guidelines.
I hope your situation worked out well. Thank you for the comment!
Good content 👍🏼
Thank you! Your comment means a lot to me :)
Any sites you recommend, my wife is fluent in Italian, and I think it would be very beneficial for the student to have someone here from their culture & country to feel more comfortable studying abroad with.
Also we have no children is that an issue?
Hello Anthony, thank you for commenting. I know different agencies can sometimes work with certain countries over others. Unfortunately, I do not know which ones because I provide the hosting aspect. You are welcome to do a google search and talk with some agencies to see if they work with Italian students, or if they are aware of agencies that do?
Agencies welcome individuals over 18, or couples, or families to host. You do not need to have children! I hope you will look into it and give it a try sometime. Good luck! :)
Nice Video
Thank you, I appreciate your comment :)
Can minors have host family?
Yes, I am 16 and I have a host family in France!
Yes they can! Check into local agencies near you for direction and availability. :)
@@selah2367 how?
@@Abcd-jz4gp whats wrong with the photo and what am i gonna be doing 90% of the time you have mentioned ?
I can't believe it. This is disgusting.
It's frustrating to hear these types of scenarios still happen.
Working together whether subscribing or signing up works for each other to provide success
Agreed! Thanks for subscribing :)