Red Flag: +30 And Still Living With Your Parents
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Being over 30 years of age, and still living with your parents, is considered a Red Flag. But there's more to it than meets the eye. The recurrent housing crisis accompanied by low wages, inflation and other issues, that force people to return to their parents'.
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#housingcrisis #redflags #socialeconomicnetworkers
Families living together isn't weird, historically or today. If someone can't see a good living relationship with your family is a green flag, then good riddance.
Nowadays Western culture is that of hate. Hating yourself, your family and everyone else. No wonder living with your own blood is a bad thing to this society.
I'm hyper tribal towards my family, so imo, nobody should be looking for a separate residence unless they're prepared for marriage and planning to start a family. If they *want* to move away and get their own place away from home, that doesn't bother me, bc time and space alone is essential for everyone, but it doesn't foster a sense of family and tribe and community to be in isolation.
This maniacal drive to push children away from parents beginning with pre-k programs that start at 2 years old and on up throughout their lives is something I find bizarre and disheartening.
@@azurephoenix9546 @servus_puer Well said 👏 I was just telling my boyfriend after watching this that I actually like multigenerational housing. It gives us community and allows for more people to be around to help care for children and elders. It's not something that should be frowned upon. It's not just the maniacal drive to push kids away from parents, but every individual person/couple having their own place is bad for the environment and increases loneliness. It also deprives everyone of generational wisdom. The common western system we have today is just peak capitalist cancer. Destroying everything to make profit, and it's usually the people screeching about protecting kids and families who do the most harm.
@@azurephoenix9546 It stems from the boomer idea that raising children is a chore and as soon as they get out of the house you only work 5-10 years more until you get retired and get to enjoy life in leisure and luxury in some sunny place. Gen X made it worse by on one hand riding the tail end of the economic paradise that was the pre-9/11 West with high incomes and low prices and on the other by prioritising "Self-fulfillment" over everything which downgraded kids to an accessory you only show around to flex on other yuppie parents but want them mostly out of the way in some school and daycare.
@mnk9073
Then I'm a proud freak among freaks bc I'm genX but am simultaneously a huge proponent of multigenerational living.
It's not just cost-effective, but it also helps when choosing a partner to build a family with by having the family there to refine the process and help to find the optimal person for the individual.
As you pointed out, when you don't view your kids as accessories or chores, but as their own individual selves and future adults, you as the parent are always looking into the future and working hard to know them as themselves and not as an extension of yourself, which allows a level of psychological distance and balance, all unhealthy codependency not withstanding
e.g. judging others is a red flag for me, also telling other how to live
Well... good point yeah lol.
My grandma passed right before covid.
Grandpa got a house with my sickly mother and asked me to move in with them to help with payments and chores. My sister came off the streets and joined us. She got a job, and recovered from her addictions.
Its tough making the payments, but its such a blessing to know they are all safe and mostly healthy.
my Oldest daughter and grandson just moved out. she is in her 30s. why was she here? She left an abusive Boyfriend and had no where else to go. so we had her move in with us till she could get on her feet. Her ex would Isolate her so it was extra hard for her to get back on her feet. we both made sacrifices while she was here. trying to find the middle ground in all things we disagreed about. Now she is living with close friends of hers and thriving! and thats what matters most.
To many people judge with out knowing or understanding.
Yeah it is pretty stupid that people see it as a red flag. In my case up until I was 25 I had a full time job and when I wasn’t working I was a carer for my nan who was in her 90s when she past. From there rent prices where I live are equivalent to 90% of your monthly earnings so unless you’re renting with someone else it’s not happening.
I grew up with my parents, grandparents and great grandparents. Honestly, it was a mess lol. Fights every day, and occasionally a nosy aunt. But it was the normal scenario, but good gods... so stressful. There was a point my parents and I had no where to go, and that was hard and scary. There's a lot of different scenarios where people are forced to live with others and have a very stressful life, but still preferable than the streets.
For me, it was cultural.
When I first met my wife, it was an eye-opener.
She's Vietnamese. Her whole immediate family (siblings/parents) live in the same house.
Age doesn't matter. Until they're married or just desperate to move, they stay home.
Everyone who's an adult has a job and contributes.
Same here in US. The homeless community is growing. What is the answer? Be happy Arith, just keep making your music art and videos! Im glad you still have parents!
The maps of Europe are clear, countries with solid social safety nets at the public level have a single digit rates. Countries that have strong economies but weakened public sector safety nets are in the teens and 20s, and countries with weak economies and more conservative values of familial support or religious charity as only safety nets or primary net are in the 20+ range. I don't know why this is so hard, the data has been clear for decades. Neo-liberal Supply Side Economic theory with the spread of American Individualism is not how you create a healthy society. But then again Thatcher said it, "There is no society."
The thing is here in the US, parents will put their kids on the streets at 18 and tell them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Most of the homeless here started out as kids thrown out by their parents.
Ask me how I know.
I'm 31, I'm from Ukraine and now I live in Germany with my mother. Unfortunately, my mother is in very bad health situation, so I take care of her. She also has a very bad character and makes me cry every day, I am very lonely in a new country and my only consolation is that I live next to a forest and see a lot of wild animals every day. North paganism also helps me cope with daily stress and loneliness. And you're right that it's better than living without a home at all. In my homeland, in Ukraine, my home and my entire calm life were destroyed by the cruel breath of war... I don’t wish anyone to experience this
I lived with my mom till she died. I moved out of my parents when i married my wife but when my fatwas killed in a car accident, my wife and I moved in with my mother's house because her health was deteriorating so I had to care for her. She suffered terribly and i had and wanted to take care of her. My two brother-in-laws lived with my father-in-law because his health was terrible and needed to be cared for. The world is turning to shit. I wish my son would move home because i need the help and he cant afford a good house and I own 60 acres and have enough room for 100 houses on my property, which i inherited from my parents. It is a great family that stays together. Extended families are awesome.
I’m on the team, just had a break up, I’m 30 and had no other choice.
Sorry to hear that mate. Best of luck! Stay strong :D
I loved the "I'm looking for a girlfriend" honestly same
I can be your girlfriend lmao. Best of luck mate :D
😂 you too!
Love and support from the USA, friend
Thanks mate! All the best to you!
I was born in Russia, where people have very tight connections to their parents and many families living together. Now i live in Sweden, where parents basically kick their kids out when they are 18 years old. And vice versa - grown up kids do not care for their old parents, leaving them in nursery homes.
A reason why people dont have their parents in their home is because the parents DONT WANT TO. Here the adults see it more that their kids should have their own life and not be caregivers. They dont want that burden on their child. Thats why thats society have grown forward. We need better staff and pay for people working in nursery homes and that they can speak the language fluently and with no problem pronouncing.
I do disagree with the whole thing that parents kick their kids out. I know those AH exist but they aint the norm. Most are allowed to stay to get on their feet, but most want to move out and have their own place and life without a parent watching you.
@soonerorlater in a healthy society, parents are not a burden. The society that promotes the relationship of parent-child as obsolete is not developed. It is sliding into degradation with a speed of light. It becomes the society of spoiled people and a pure consumerism, and is doomed in the long run.
@@truestoriesfromtheworld I disagree. A society that choose to build that the children must become their parents caregivers is a broken society. And since women are the ones having to take most if not all the responsibility of them its very unjust.
Not having to be a caregiver and parents feeling and knowing they're a burden is not "spoiled" or "degredation". Sounds more like someone is jealous of a developed society that in the end do work better. Consumerism is not caused by people not being caregivers, lol. Actually, the whole thing with not being a caregiver/burden works very well, the other leads to burnouts and alot of unhappiness and bitterness, with people on sick leave, wich cost society alot of money.
We all felt that last "fuck sake"
🤣
Same in the USA. Houses and land have gone parabolic in the last few years.. houses doubling and land quadrupling!
Very true. Do you need a note since 2020 our money has been devalued by 24% on the global stage.
I bought for, I think, around $90,000 and now it's valued at around $200,000, and I live in the US.
@@jessiehermit9503 That mean how much for the house want up. Not how much the dollar what up but shows how it want down. Fast statement. If printing money make money more worthless why not burn and delete half the money. We can start with A.O.C.'s money.
In my area of the US (Pacific NW) the average home is selling for half a million dollars. Rent on a studio apartment is $900-1200. I've had friends end up homeless through getting laid off or getting into a car accident and getting injured. No drugs, alcohol or gambling. No mismanagement of their earnings. Just pure bad luck.
@@lauriemumm3407yeah, yet people have the nerve to belittle people for living in the streets.
Lol made me laugh love the music ..but all my babies are well over thirty and all still living at home , but we’re in the Uk 🇬🇧 impossible to buy or rent
Honestly good on you, I hope it all works out! God bless you!
Best of luck to you and yours, and many blessings!
I live in north ireland have 3 sons over 30 all good jobs living at home cant find affordable accommodation even with deposits for a house they get in bidding wars, airbb migrants bad government economy are all factors, Own nothing be Happy seems to be coming true, think a solution is people coming together and forming colectives to buy land or property, enjoy your youtube one of the best i enjoy, 😎👍
I have found myself thinking like that, like... not really paying much attention to owning anything and just be happy with my own existence. Frankly, it helps a great deal. But it's a mind process that takes quite a bit of turns and going to get to it. And sometimes I wonder if I'm really happy with myself or have just sucumb to settling, being accommodated, accustomed.. if you take my meaning. Anyway, best of you luck and many blessings to you and yours! Thank you!
,,if you catch my drift" : D
My youngest son is 30 and lives together with us, he has a good job, has his own 2 rooms but we share our daily life, we eat together, sometimes we watch a movie together, he does his own laundry, i do the cooking, he pays a small amount for the ongoing costs, including food. We both enjoy this arrangement. My eldest son moved to an apartment with his girlfriend when he was 19. But seriously, why would anyone have to justify their living situation. I lived on the streets 3 years when I was young, I know both sides. The rents are getting tremendously expensive, its almost a luxury to live in more than 1 room. So F*ck the Red flag✊ People should mind their own business
Sounds a lot like the US. (At least where I am.) I'm making more money than I ever have at any time in my life, but I'm not able to save any money. I just spend more on the same quantity of necessities.
I'm 34. My father left when I was born, and my mother died a little over ten years ago. My aunt lives with me, and I live with her. With my credit card debt, there's no way I can afford to pay the bills, but we found a house in Albuquerque, New Mexico, sold as is for $54,000. Mom left me life insurance. That's how we paid for the house. My aunt is a little handicapped and needs me, but we're also the only two members of our family remotely close. I would rather have Mom still alive of course, but she left provisions for me for the future, and ten years later, I would be so lonely without my aunt. I've made friends, I have a fiancee who lives with her own parents and is six years younger than me. You make the best out of a situation, and my aunt and I are a package deal for any girl who would date me. My girlfriend understood that, and didn't mind at all.
It’s a ridiculous thing to be considered a red flag. Someone living at home shows an ability to have a functional relationship with their family and is less likely to be in massive debt. Both good qualities in a potential spouse
I wonder how European governments can deal with it besides increasing construction and rezoning. Many refugees, new migrants or illegal migrants have huge populations in small countries that are struggling to house even local populations.
The thing is, there's good examples of countries in Europe, but the other countries don't seem to want to look at the actual solutions, some of which quite easy and cheap. The problem with Portugal is that it is a highly politically-corrupt country (the 2nd most politically-corrupt in Europe, second only to Greece). There are solutions. I mean, Finland had a homeless problem higher than Portugal, and they have solved it by (and the answer is so simple) giving them houses and jobs, and that's it. Finland (like all other countries) were spending more money every year in keeping homeless people. What they have spent on giving them houses and jobs was actually a lot less than keeping the problem going. Now, just so you can have a picture of how ridiculous the situation is: Portugal currently has 10.700 homeless people, yet... there are 48.000 abandoned houses in Lisbon alone. Portugal has more houses than it has people. I mean... it's a circus.
That crazy, man
Thank you for your honesty! I feel so badly for the generation coming of age right now, many of them are simply left out of society because everything is so expensive... I have hope that this is simply a dark period and it will pass. Blessed Be
If you want a relationship with the whole family, then sure, fine. But good luck if you want a new separate life
You are not alone in this. And it's not something to be ashamed of. You are a wonderful person! So don't take this issue close to your heart, and the problem with uneasiness will be gone:)
I hope you find someone perfect for you arith it would be awesome to see you be able to move out and share Costs with a partner that is how I was able to move out of my parents at 22
Yea people are quick to judge in USA because there privileged but because of my eye amongst other things Im stuck in a position of having to live with someone right now and it sucks especially when no one wants to take you for a ride to work without demanding all your money and more....
It's the same here in Canada, sending you love dear Arith may you find a wonderful girl and live your dreams. ❤
It pretty much is the case for every farmer. They always live in multi generational households. But being a farmer is probably also a red flag for modern women.
Being an idiot red pill is a red flag for modern women that don't want to live as men's slave anymore. Being a farmer is ok.
😅😂
It's the most intelligent response to the current problems. The possibilities and dreams of the 60s, 70s or 80s are long gone. Fifty years ago, in Europe, everything seemed possible for a young man. You could achieve anything, provided that you worked hard enough. Now it doesn't matter how hard you work. The conditions have become so difficult (the right word could be "abusive") that we must admit that the young generations will have to live a poorer life than the older generations. The generational gap is also huge in terms of accumulated wealth. Older people are way better off as for properties, pensions, savings, etc. Usually, retired people have higher pensions than the wages of the young people. The whole situation seems so untenable that I wonder how society will manage not to collapse in the next decades.
I. 29 and living with my dad (who growing up was mentally and physically abusive) because i live in oklahoma (united states) and im autistic, i cant AFFORD to leave
Yeah, there's plenty of scenarios like that, my friend. There's a lot of people staying with their parents to help them out in life, taking care of them. There's also that indeed. Even if this housing crisis did not exist, there would always bee thousands of reasons why people live with their parents. Best of luck my friend, and all the best to you and yours. Many blessings!
In my experience, currently 28 y/o, single, from eastern europe (living in NYC most of my life) it was never unusual to me to see even older adults living with their parents and most people in my life still do, at the very least having an apartment in the same building as their family. My cousin just moved out with her partner at the age of 43 and even now we still have three generations living in the same home. The funny thing is the only people I know (my age and up) who "live on their own" and found moving out to be an "aspirational" or necessary thing, something to celebrate, etc. are people who were already in relationships, never single to begin with, who moved out alongside their partners to get a place together, and everyone else who did it "on their own" has half a dozen roommates or they're broke half the time and miserable. So the "red flag" thing of "adult living with their parents/family" never made sense to me. In my case its a cultural thing that just "is" by happenstance how I was raised, its just kind of how it is, but for other people maybe they're just a really close family, maybe its simply not possible budget wise or even because there is quite literally no open place to live in, maybe their parents need care (also a secondary reason in my case), there are so many reasons why a grown person would live with their parents well into their later adult life that wouldn't and shouldn't be "red flags" in the eyes of normal single people looking for partners. The real red flag is people who consider other people living at home with parents a red flag when the "living at home with parents" thing isn't directy a result of a person having a flaw in their character and is just how things are circumstantially. In my humble opinion lmao
Thank you so much for sharing this 🙌🏻
I am 23 years old and I'm still living with my mother. People perceive us strangely and this creates a big gap unfortunately. I can't even have a boyfriend ahah !
Big support 🌿
Best of luck to you dear. Things will eventually improve :D The world either ends and all our problems go with it, or we shall start to eat the rich and take their abodes >:)) (50-50 serious/joking).
Thanks !
Ahah, I hope so 🤭🍀
Beind 35 myself I can safely say that owning my own apartment is more of a burden rather than a flex, at least here in Poland. On a side note, „looking for a girlfriend” really cracked me up 😂 where can I apply?
Send me a dm on instagram, let's talk lmao :p
This sounds like EXACTLY what is going on in New Jersey right now. You’re not alone, stay strong people!
I grew up a problem child with a lot of internal insecurities. This on top of the soul crushing jobs and standards for the jobs leading up to recent years put me on a terrible set back. It's better now and I've never been a victim.
Best of luck to you, my friend. Hope things continue to improve. Be well!
Let's just say ritual works
You're simply describing Late Stage Capitalism. The housing crisis is created internationally to keep us all desperate to stay in the system. #LateStageCapitalism #EatTheRich #Marianne2024 #OccupyWallStreet
Housing is a common problem in many countries, not just Portugal. I would say it's systemic, it can't be just coincidental. My own experience in Spain is similar (living with parents or with roommates). Gary Stevenson (Garys Economics here on RUclips), from the UK, is raising awareness of these issues. We ought to have class conscience, but also not be fooled by the easy answers of populism (i'm concered about the outcome of the upcoming elections in Europe). Take care, and good luck!
Every single person I know that lived with their parents until 25-30+ eventually moved out and actually have some semblance of financial stability because of it. It literally saved them thousands of dollars and other stressors that enabled them to focus on building their careers.
There's zero benefit to entering society without any financial safety nets or worse, debt. Even in the military, the most successful people I've observed have had people in their lives (mainly family) to support them in some capacity. In contrast, with all of the worst, most exploitative jobs I've done, just about everyone I worked with came from broken, dysfunctional families and/or from overseas.
But nobody is addressing the underlying problems; minimum wage is meant for teenagers. It is a wage for somebody who is just starting. But then we have illegal immigration which undercuts wages, and all of the free benefits they get (in the US, illegals are getting more than $10,000 a month in free things and money while a citizen on SSI gets $1700), then the government prints money to give to foreign countries which drives inflation, not to mention that shutting down the world was not only a mistake but based on lies... And this is just the extreme tip of the iceberg. It is basic economics, but people get what they vote for. Central banks and fiat currencies have always failed.
didn't knew you did music! sounds great, as long as someone is not being a burden in their parents and they want them there i think is okay, still most people i know want their own place but currently real state market is a joke and companies have no limitations , i just got lucky or bad lucky i guess that i inherited mine young so in the future i will not reach 30 without roof just alone.
I'm 28, from Mexico, and I live with my parents too, I've been the one to bring in the bread since I turned 18, dad lost his leg, doesn't get a full pension, but just about enough to cover the rent. Everything else is on me. I haven't deal with me being my parents being a red flag, I guess it's because I don't tell that to most people and when I breakdown the situation there always understanding. I, uh, I'm tired of the responsibility to be honest, having to leave stuff on the side because of expenses but whatever, till the wheels fall off, right? So yeah, that's my version
There are three (and a fake one) options currently: Live on your own in a place owned or financed by your parents, live with roommates or a significant other to split the rent, live with your parents in their nice and big boomer house they built for 500k and could now sell for just under 3 millions (or have an amazingly well paying job while living either in a backwater where the rent is still low or some overpriced urban tin can).
A few years ago I had a dream of living together with my paternal family in a house together. I now realise that dream was my subconscious way of warning me of how dysfunctional my family was. I think my subconscious thought I could save my family if I put them together in one house living and helping each other together. I am now glad that dream didn't come to fruition. XD
Still wish for a day I would be able to own a house with my partner, would also love to have an older relative with us to help in regards to guiding us and directing us how to live off-grid and taking care of a house and all the things that comes with it. Sadly have no relatives that fit that bill.
ARITH good topic to discuss and share. 🇨🇦
absolutely. thank the universe of infinite possibilities for a loving family.
Well spoken, i am from germany and i live in a family owned house, i live in an apartment with my brother, under us our parents and then my Grandma. Yes we have a nice old house, but we can only afford it anymore because we all live here.
And people who always use the term redflag are most of the times, red flags themselfes :D
My mother in law lives with my wife and I. It's healthy and helpful for everyone involved. Thank you for this video, Arith!
airbnb and short term rentals are destroying communities. Why would a profit driven owner ever rent or sell if they can make so much more renting airbnb? In a profit driven society there is no remedy for this.
I dont blame you. Here in Scandinavia things arent that bad but its far from good. Rents in the cities are ridicilously high and buying a house or even a flat is out of the question for a lot of us. Im fortunate enough to rent a house on the countryside, kinda low standard but i rather have that than smth fancier if i can barely afford it. You can find an affordable house here with a bit of luck, but then its usually in an area where there is no jobs, and/or in really bad condition so the renovation gets about as costly as buying it.
i moved out when i was 14. It's a tough town where i live and i've had to have 2 to 3 jobs at a time to stay living in slum apartments . There is no work here - and before i moved into my home i live in now rents started to climb quickly. 1200$ for a terrible basement apartment. In the last 10 years it's gotten much worse and after the lockdown 2020 - rents skyrocketed again as did price of houses . i live in what they call the 'war time zone' the houses are tiny and old and were made to only last 10 years back in the 1930's Two years ago people illegally started converting there garages into 'houses' So, the house I live in sold for the price it was barely worth for 150,000 10 years ago. Now, the 'shack' across the road put a price on of 489,999. and the 'bidding war' got the insane price of 780,000. This is a one room building and the furnace is inside the room. So illegal. I've been homeless 6 times and at the age of 63 i'm horrified for my future - because if something happens that i can't be here, there is no where to go. Three of my friends that are in their 50's are living with their elderly parents homes with them.
Thank you for relating your story about Portugal, which in hindsight is becoming severely worse (both in housing and dating).
This is a type of situation which I'm also facing however, I was able to now buy a cheaper property, but it came with a lot of risks as it needed a lot of repairs and so I'm still working on the house even after 3 years! As buildings materials are really expensive over here too it took a long time to build things slowly.
Its an harsh reality, as you age to lose the ability to have more privacy for sure, but if I didn't live in my parents house, I wouldn't be able to save any money at all or look towards any solutions.
We also suffer from to many expectations of social media pressure in my opinion.
But always remember, you as a man, will always be looked at as the provider for a safe space and so on. So its inevitable you will come across people that want a free ride in life and whatever is outside their bubble is deemed as a loser.
I was confused for a moment given the usual contents of the channel 😂 I always love how you present nuance, resources and such. There's also a problem of people under 25 getting no jobs so it's all a bunch of this that make the red flag statement sound ignorant (ignoring the cultural aspects that sometimes play)
I totally agree with you. I'm 40 and I live with my 80 y-o mother. In my case, joining all the things you said, she needs care, but to help at home, I had to work in 4 jobs (2 at normal days and other 2 at the weekends and I'm still volunteer helping animals and the homeless). I'm single for almost 8 years and I've seen a lot of this kind of people.
Dear, i do not see a problem when someone stays with his parents. At times better than feeling lonely in a appartement that is not easy to pay ...and in the end there is no extra money left.
I agree that prices are extremly high, but thats something we can not change. Keep up😊
For me, the only actual problem (aside from everything that was here expressed, and money etc.) is that, living with my parents in such a tiny place, there's barely enough space for the three of us, so I cannot possibly raise my own family here. I'm used to tiny, cramped spaces, there were even times I just slept on the floor, or back in the village on top of a wooden chest, and I don't want to start a family and living in those conditions. I want to find my own place so I can raise my own family. I really would like to be a father. But if I put those thoughts aside, it's not bad and I just keep going. I'm actually happy.
Yes i get it. Makes me little sad that you face difficulties, because i follow you for some time here on YT and i think you're a good person. Did you ask almighty God for it? Know with God everything is possible 😉💯.But im not in the Position to preach😅😁. Hope and pray that better will come to you.
I understand you man.. It's natural feeling for more space even with parents... I'm from Serbia and here also have same problems low salary and high price for rent.. Big cityes have more opportunity for better payment, but there apartment is high and life there is on the edge of poverty. Basically you depends of not secure job with killing rents and low budget (then you ask why is many Serbs so nervous 😅?) other way smaller town or willages become empty, younger generation don't want living 30 km from job or capital city.. empty houses with price from 15-30.000 euros but problem is like there Banks.. We have state program for young couples who want live on little willages,but that is just 500 couple per year who have lucky .. State should rise more and we all know that he can but don't do..Sad. I live and work in Hungary,and have my parents house in Serbia dimension 214m2 it's not fully finished and my old mother live there, almost alone expect my monthly visiting for weekend or few days. And I know We live there and if you know we have turbulence in state and economy last 30 year..its never be easy.I understand your and anyone young needs..And your explanation is right WITH and OFF..It's big huge difference.. In the past Big family live together or close each other and help in everything, today, modern society is so selfish and sadly lonely. Greed, jealousy ,and I'm sorry "western way of life" is killing traditional way. Are we stronger if we alone? Are we happy?
Spoken like a non-American woman
@@jacksonfurlong3757 yes,world-citizen💯😉
Hey Airth, I live with my mum, I moved home to care for my dad when he was dying and have stayed because I became ill myself.
I think some of the attitude towards it leaks from the American sense of Individualism which crossed oceans and infected many of our cultures. I think partly it's the breakup of family that was caused after the 30s/40s and onwards, either through slum clearance and resettlement in new areas, the post-war rebuild of towns and cities, the displacement during the war and of course the need to move for employment which leads to the loss of traditional community. This led to a need to have housing for younger people, who were not necessarily married but students or newly working in areas outwith the area of their family homes.
The decline of the traditional industries and the rise in poverty and joblessness, the lack of jobs in rural areas, the rise in air b'n'b as you said, the rise in second homes is a huge problem here in Scotland, particularly in the Highlands and Islands, even where I am in the SW Highlands. The amorality of landlords being hosted by Conservative Governments, the fact that you can have no fault evictions, no rent price regulations.
A huge litany of historical and social reasons as to how we got here, why there is taboo and the fact that as you say its increasingly common for adult children to be living at home, at least for a while. Of course there is nothing wrong with this, it's normal in many parts of the world today, it has historical precedents in every country of the world. I just like to discuss this topic and aside from yourself creating this video I don't have many chances, so apologies for writing a novella in your comment section, if you made it through to here I should like to be able to give a prize but alas, I am not able to.
Yes it had to be said. No need to be nervous about it Arith, I am over 60 and live with my daughter and grandson. I have no other means. Hope you get a girlfriend soon !😊
Hello my dear friend! Best of luck to you and yours, and many blessings! Thank you!
I'm Portuguese as well, and unfortunately I had the luck of being born and raised in Lisbon... the only reason I don't live with my parents is because I work in Spain, and fortunately my work does not require me to be living in a big city
I lived with my parents in and out until 33, and it was the best thing that happened, because my mother got sick and I was there to take care of her. And sometimes, we need to be smart and objective, if you can live with your parents and save some money is better than live by yourself and struggle to eat.
The struggle is real
I could be your girlfriend, except I live with my mom in the US 🥴 Tbh, I don't even try to date anymore because the dating scene is awful. Best of luck to you!
PS I love the music! I listen on Spotify
Honestly, I'm about to quit the dating world.. it's been an awful experience lol (with very few exceptions). I'll just wait for my dragon to come rescue this princess. Best of luck to you. If you come to Portugal, let's go out into the woods :D
Blessings of Heaven and Earth! Red flags about living with parents are superstitious prejudice. I am from Ukraine, studying Ukrainian tradition and ethnography. Until the 19th century, in some regions of my country, the tradition continued to exist, when the whole family, a large family with all relatives, built a house for a young couple. This phenomenon was called "toloka" and it served as a safeguard against quarrels and difficult relations between the mother-in-law and the son's wife. My country is agrarian, so the land was divided between children, there was a phenomenon of maternal - female inheritance. It is important for my people to have their own land or at least their own place in their mentality. Unfortunately, all this was destroyed by the soviet union, as was the idea of personal space, but it began to revive in the minds of many people. The idea of the importance of one's property is deeply rooted. Unfortunately, Russia occupied a large part of our territory, Russia is waging a war and has made beautiful cities and villages dangerous to live in, many people have lost their homes, their heritage and land. And in addition to inflation and economic troubles, sadness for the native region and these losses is added. I live in the capital, Kyiv, and our rent during the war is the same as in your country, my husband, who is in the military, and I pay $450, which is the average price for an apartment. Our parents' house and apartments were left in the territories occupied by Russia, and we dreamed that our children would see a garden. and grapes planted by my grandfather. European countries, including Ukraine, have similar problems, and this is not only due to the war or the low level of education. I have a master's degree in ecology and a master's degree in journalism and I have a good job. It's just that the level of payment for work, especially government work, is very low and does not meet the modern demand for success. I have children, we live as a nuclear family and a modern family with children cannot pull off a triple load when there is work, upbringing, educational requirements, food, but you only have two adults and, for example, hiring a nanny is already expensive. so yes, sometimes the help of grandparents is great, even though it is part of the unpaid work. Something definitely needs to change in people's understanding of postmodern success. sorry for so much text and thanks for all you do!
I lived with my Dad after my mum passed away for 10 years to take care of him. I was in my 30's and preferred to do the right thing than worry about what people think. When my Portuguese now husband moved to Ireland and we met, he thought it was a great quality. We stayed with my dad for another year before moving to Porto. The right person will know ❤
The invitation is open?! Grabbing my wig and passport!!!
Nooiiiceeeeee
Whew, I thought it might be a roast from the title. Indeed, I went woke, went broke and only began to wake up from the curse in the sinking of the old world that was up until 2019. Before that paying rent over the decades has me at 50 back at the parents' house again after having been out, and getting kicked aside by landlord after landlord often for them simply wanting to sell the property. I got sucked into the Millennial curses unlike my younger brother due to my artistic creative bent and then university and then the internet, especially the blue and white insane asylum which I still struggle to get away from.
I was my grandmother's caretaker for about 5 years. I was the one who fed her, gave her medicine, etc., while my mother, who also lived with us did the administrative work, things like paperwork, organizing doctor's visits. After she passed, we both now still live together, since it's sort of how we've always been. I still get weird looks from coworkers when I say I live with my mom, despite the roundabout way we got there. We're more like housemates than anything else.
Hi everyone, does anyone know what's going on? Today is Mr.Arith's video day!!!!! Where!?
Wednesday, June 12th? What do you think?
My Ma and Dad got back together after 20+ years of separation and they got a new place together. I took over the house with my step sister that my Ma left behind. So shes my landlord. Step sister eventually moved out after getting a boyfriend. So for a while i was working 2 jobs to compensate. I met a guy and he lived with his Mom. Didnt really see it as a big deal. We dated for about a year made it official and he eventually moved in with me. This slowly proved to be a disaster and one of my dumbest decisions to date lol. As i slowly found out he was just using me for a place to stay because his Ma living conditions were hazardous so he was trying to get out of it. 😅 if only i was smarter
I have my own house probably because i have 2 kids. But listen to this, i live in a 500 sq ft house. It has a yard. But my son sleeps on the couch and my daughter and i share a bed. That is all the room in my place. I seriously CANNOT AFFORD ANYTHING ELSE! 1300 a month for that place in prescott Arizona. My parents can't house me either. I can't and won't go to government services for such things either. I don't partner with people either. Thankfully, i have my kids week on and week off. So they don't mind too much and WE DON'T NEED A LOT OF SPACE JUST EACHOTHER. People need to stop taking up so much dang space, give it back to nature. Seriously. I want a farm but i would use it all. Middle class middle age people living with their parents is ridiculous. That's about it
Arith, if any girl says that, well....that is a red flag, just like zodiac thing, so "thank" her and move on ;)
I’m not single but even still. I live with my parents and my partner who is disabled. We are very lucky to be able to live here. We have lived here for 14 years now and don’t plan on leaving. We have our own apartment attached to the house that my grandfather built to live in until he died, because he needed care. At first it was rough, my relationship with my mom is complicated. But by now we’ve all settled into it. I pay rent and my own bills. I buy my own food and all that stuff. This house will be mine someday and I hope I can afford it. I still feel really bad about myself when I tell people I live with my parents, even though I don’t want to leave my home even a little. That’s what society has done to us.
Hi Arith, I just finished watching your video, and what can I say... I've experienced pretty much the same situation: I live in southern Italy, I'm 39 now and I've started working at the age of 24; at the time I was earning 300€/month, and with that money you can't live on your own. I got a better paid job after a couple of years and, in agreement with my family (that provided me with some money monthly) I rented a flat and moved in. After a couple of months I lost my job, and lived for almost 2 years with the money of unemployment compensation. Then I found another job that lasted for 3 years, when I decided to quit because work environment was sh*t. Found another job and lost it. Now I've been unemployed for like five months, my savings are running low. I can understand you, mate, really. P.S. I'm looking for a girlfriend too, btw. :D
My Dear Friend,
in my opinion,
your knowledge + your much valuable research + ease of expression + ability to communicate difficult concepts in a clear way + academically valid acquaintances + the urgent need to bring clarity to a world of chatter = BOOK ------> Books
What are you waiting for? I promise I will buy them all. Thanks for your time, I appreciate you and your art.
P.S. I'm serious about it.
U.S. has 10,000,000 new street people (TEN MILLION)
Hello Arith,
My 30ish child, mate and three children live with me now. I am ever so happy to have them here. I asked them to come before rona. After rona, I got a call one day, Mom the rent is going up $300.00 AT ONCE. I simply asked again for them to come on over. I bought a 2 living 3 bed 2 bth 2 car and raised my family and had been living alone in it for near 9 years. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANYONE MAKING LESS THAN $75,000.00 per human to afford a separate domicile.
She will be there just standing, I think at a party. She has just gone to the garden, to the far border of the party, before it meets the wood. She wants to go in, yet she unfamiliar with the land and decides to save her shoes from the possibilities. She hears footsteps behind her, yours. She turns around and senses that you would carry her over any rough patches, "Fancy a walk".
Perhaps, attend some botanical events.
You're just the coolest. Seriously. The coolest ever. I'm so grateful I came across your channel. There are times you meet people and know that you can get something priceless from them. I'm sure you have a whole lot to offer besides what I get from you, your thoughts, expressions, things you find important and can break it down for people but keep it whole. You break it down, but keep it whole. You are sooooo the coolest. I'll have you know I've allowed my yard to grow what it wants while I also use some space for gardening. I did not hack away. My neighbors might call the cops on me. Though. Ehem. ❤🎉😂
I still have to live off my parents because I´m still studying at 39 years old... I studied Social Work and then Aesthetics, and the salary is not enough to be free... I hope that with the administrative exams I will achieve something.
Good luck for everyone 🍀.
By the way, I'm single 😂😂
I live with my boyfriend and honestly I wouldn’t be able to live alone as I’m a student in a university of applied sciences and I’m neck deep in student loan which I had to take to pay HALF of our rent, I can’t afford to buy food as my students allowance (I’m not a native English Speaker so this is definitely not the correct term) goes into paying necessary bills. I don’t understand why people see it as a problem if one lives with their parents, aren’t good family relations like a major green flag? :D I love my boyfriend’s parents and wish I had as close relationship with my family as he has with his
Dude, Move to Sweden. There are many teaching and archeology jobs at the Lund University. You can buy a house just outside the city for pennies. Beautiful women here too.
Yup!!! It's a sad, sad, sad state of affairs. You bring up some very good points, as usual! Society unfortunately caters to Consumerism as opposed to having realistic living expectations. Unfortunately, the Politicians do NOT make things any better (of all things in Canada where the best idea they can come up with is reverting back to the 90's fourplex standards with unrealistic housing costs for building new homes of a decent quality). I solidly believe there ought to be a Global cap on corporate and private wealth to avoid this incredible Worldwide inflation. If we were in the same Country, I would totally live a happy Pagan lifestyle making music with you; and probably also doing another job on the side. Your voice is amazing, I could listen to you talk all day ^.^ lmfao 😂 the Titanic joke was cute! I love your humor :)
It's important to make the Clear distinction between the two different scenarios, Absolutely 👍. Unfortunately it is a reality globally & growing.I have lived on my own since I was 18 but after losing two properties with my second divorce I am renting again, luckily I have a decent job that I work for 20 yrs so I can afford it but I am very concerned about my 19 yrs old Son and 16 yrs old Daughter which they live with their Mother for now. Eventually I will have to get a so-called " tiny home" with enough room for them too just in case. Homelessness in Portugal rises 19 percent, Wow!! That's insane! Thanks for your videos my friend, it's a true delight Always, & Love the sarcasm and great sense of humor, by the way, one of my Grandmothers was from Galicia 😊🍻
Bad Economy, increase of the cost and taxes through the time; are the main reasons for that. Red flag only would be considered if some one dont get any job or got self small enterprise, be in drugs or alcohol.
Hope you get all your heart's desire. All the best for the future. Bye.
I hope you get it too :) I think we all deserve happiness.
Not at the expense of the innocent.
Anyway, have a nice life. Bye.
If a person only judges people based on their zodiac sign (which is actually just the sun sign) (+uses the astrology to “judge” anything), it means that this person does not know anything about astrology. Just run away from those people! 😃
Grown children take care of their elderly parents, this is a historical fact. Also, in some places it is fiscally impossible to live outside of a family home as it requires several full time jobs just to make ends meet, nevermind any luxuries. Someone mooching off of their parents well into their thirties? Sure, that COULD be an issue. But what if they are disabled? Lost their job and needed a place to stay until they can get back on their feet? Going through a divorce? Extenuating circumstances abound.
Aye! Quite frankly fuck people who judge grownups living with their parents. Embarrassing if someone is so shortsighted. I was afraid to watch your video for being judged again and again on this matter. Thnx for the wise words.
I'm still living with my parents and am highly grateful for that. I'm disabled and in some ways 'confined' to my house; and the only thing I could afford would be a cupboard, more or less. Might as well go to prison 🤷🏻♀️
I wanted to say a lot, but i dont think anyone's going to be actually interested in this.))
So ill just sum it up and say that it's normal to have "red flags", because (at least for those who can think for themselves) they appear out of our experience of living and communicating. This said - to find out if it's actually a not fitting person for you - you gotta communicate at least a little first.
So the problem with "red flags" appears IMO when they're blindly followed. Like with the stereotypes saying that some group of people is bad because its this specific group of people.
However many young people these days tend to be quiet shallow when it comes to perceiving the surroundings and this is particularly where these problems arise from IMO. Oh, and the egocentric model of behavior where people put the "I" before the "we" (as a society).
Something like this, very briefly (i already forsee many misreadings of my words).
I wish I had the option, but my parents are not live-with-able if I want to retain my sanity. Living on one's own is HARD anymore. It was not this hard just a decade ago or more. I, too, am looking for a roommate to help out. I've been lucky enough to have the chance to make enough to cover my needs, but I'd like to do more.
However...having a significant other would be better, as companionship brings so much more value to life.
Not trying to proposition you, Arith. But there are some good jobs here, including teaching. Just saying 😉😅
I'm more interested in your previous topics to be honest. Not disrespecting your personal opinion but...well I'm more into your expertise on runes tbh. Greets from Germany.
If I didn't have a partner, I'd most likely still be living with my parents.
My mother and I had to live with my grandparents for several years after my father died.
My best friend and her daughter also now live with her family again. After her boyfriend died, she couldn't do rent alone.
I think it's very normal, and economical. And honestly, way more dependable (hopefully) than finding a roommate.
She's the red flag for saying this to you. Thankfully (hopefully) she showed her true colors early
My son is almost 16 and I can already see that unless something amazing happens with the US housing market, he will have to continue living with us. Which I dont mind. Id rather he be here and safe than homeless. Thankfully we own our home, bought it right before house prices skyrocketed. It's not big or fancy, but it's large enough for 3 people.
I don’t know when living with your parents became taboo. It never used to be. Historically, it was the norm. I grew up living with extended family (family farm, we worked together). I think we’re a much closer than other families I know. If I had the opportunity to live them again I’d would love to do so but unfortunately they’re dead.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I live with my husband and my parents in law. We are always putting money away into our house fund, but property prices are constantly climbing out of our affordability.
Hearing you talk about this so factually helps me not feel so useless that we don't own a house yet.
Economic circumstances are changing, and our perceptions and opinions of "living with parents" should change too.
There’s a lot I could add to this, but I think every situation is different & as you said, if someone judges without considering all of the facts, then maybe they’re not the right people for you. I’m in the situation where I am now semi caring for my aging parents & their property whilst having a disability myself, so the benefit is kind of mutual. Once I have an acceptable opportunity to leave (which I will take), they’ll probably have to sell this property because they can’t maintain it without me (I’m an only child, they don’t have anyone else). The current market here in Australia means downsizing will be more expensive than keeping the property they already own (small(ish) house on acreage).
Culturally in asian countries this is the norm. I've chalked this up to people having "red flag syndrome" where everyone and their mom latched onto it like the meme it has become. Again, watering down words and meanings is quite common nowadays, sadly.
thank for talking about this im a 53 year old woman and after an abusing relationship for 2 years in 96 i was greatful my parents took me back in im still their i help out when they need it and they have a plan for me when they leave this world so ill be able to afore the house and stuff i need wile i work on doing readings
Sorry you had to pass through that. Hopefully the trauma is gone at this point and you might live a happier life the way you are right now. Best of luck to you and yours!
im getting their so far so good thank you
It used to be completely normal until modernity. People living in their parent’s house is economically pragmatic. As long as you pull your weight and respect boundaries I don’t see an objective problem with this.
Families who stay together tend to be more resilient because they support each other in many different ways. It also has its challenges, but everything in life is challenging.
Olá Arith eu vejo os teus vídeos com muita frequência. Nasci em Portugal e saí aos 19 anos emigrei para o Reino unido com a minha namorada (18 anos). Este é um tema que me irrita bastante porque a falta de qualidade de vida no nosso século é ridícula. Eu quero poder aprender as formas antigas de viver, fazer a minha casa redonda no meio do mato e cagar na sociedade capitalista moderna. Enfim, tenho 24 anos aqui no Reino Unido as coisas não estão boas mas comparado a Portugal continua a ser melhor. É difícil ter uma renda mas com 2 pessoas é possível por enquanto. Parece que piora a cada ano... É impressionante saber que até num país com uma qualidade de vida melhor, os problemas continuam a ser os mesmos. Felizmente é como mudar a dificuldade de "difícil" para "desafiante". desejo te o melhor e a todas as pessoas a ler este comentário. Espero que tenha sido bom partilhar a minha situação. Abraço
Compreendo amigo, é bem assim... já pensei tantas vezes em sair, mas já estive lá fora a trabalhar por temporadas e encontro-me sempre na mesma situação. Trabalhar muito e ter +/- o mesmo tipo de vida (para alguém como eu que nã oestá numa relação). Mais vale ficar por casa, porque ao menos tenho onde ficar, mesmo trabalhar muito, e pelo menos ainda falo a lingua xD . . . apesar de saber várias lingas, às vezes é mais cômodo ficar onde falam a mesma lingua que nós. Lá fora não encontrei grandes mudanças. No entanto, talvez com alguém com quem partilhar vida, fosse diferente, não sei. A este ponto, já me dou por feliz da minha vida ser bem melhor do que era há 5 anos atrás. Um abraço, tudo de bom e felicidades! Força aí!
How do you feel about dating older women? 👀👉👈 just wondering