Narcissist (Jezebel) Mother treats her children differently (Golden Child vs Scapegoat)

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  • Опубликовано: 15 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 136

  • @theripefruit4343
    @theripefruit4343 5 лет назад +33

    Omg.......... wow you nailed it! I was the emotional punching bag when no one was around, then when i try to bring it to someone or reachout, then i was crazy or she wouldnt do that. She changed the way she acted around other people

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад +8

      Sorry you went through that. Hopefully, you went no contact. Unfortunately, without God's help, I don't believe they ever stop. In fact, they get meaner as they get older and more insecure.

    • @theripefruit4343
      @theripefruit4343 5 лет назад +2

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 omg its so true. I try to tell my brother, but the idol worshipp is serious. He was the golden child so he was treated wonderful. He gets crazy defensive and emotional when i try to tell him. He just makes excuses for her. I told him its sad he never met his real mother. Her personality would change so much......

    • @theripefruit4343
      @theripefruit4343 5 лет назад +1

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 i had an encounter with jesus back in nov 2014 and it definitely changed everything for me. I was seeing vision and having dreams. Its weird. Everytime im focusing on jesus she becomes angry and mean to me.

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад +4

      Kevin Jones I’m not surprised that your walk w God upsets and angers her. I made another video describing how I believe their role in our lives is to sow the seeds of bitterness and depression. They are stumbling blocks for kind and sensitive people.

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад +5

      No contact is the best policy for narcissistic parents. Very limited (text only) w narcissistic co-parents for visitation reasons only.

  • @cindyc.1572
    @cindyc.1572 4 года назад +12

    I was raised by a narcissist mother. I had a curfew and my brothers did not. She physically and mentally abused me until I was old enough to get away. You’re right, each child has their places. I was the scapegoat and her slave. I can’t even tell you how bad it was. She slapped me around when nobody saw. I also was raising my younger brothers and sisters beginning at 6 years old. Ironing, washing dishes, sewing, mopping, mowing beginning at 7 years old. I hated my life. I was molested several times by my 20 year old cousin when I was in 2nd grade. I finally told her, and she replied “huh” then never mentioned it again. She really didn’t care. There’s so much more, it’s unbelievable, nobody would ever believe it. Oh and I think it’s ironic that she always called me Jezebel. That became my nick name but I was always a good girl. I think that demon in her knew I loved the Lord and wanted to destroy me. Well she’s gone now. My tormentor died. I still love the Lord. He got me through it and after all I went thru my whole life, I ended up with a brain tumor in the end. That Jezebel was still trying to destroy me. God brought me through that too. I will be forever grateful for that and I will thank Him and will serve Him all the days of my life ♥️

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +3

      Wow, I’m so sorry to hear that. How awful! Crazy she called YOU a Jezebel! But you’re right her spirit was trying to break yours but the Almighty God did not allow that to happen. He was with you and will always be there. He is so faithful and even though we had crummy parents we also had the ultimate Father in Heaven protecting us too. So really we are very fortunate. God bless you!!! Thanks for sharing! I know your testimony will help someone 💕

  • @honeybeejourney
    @honeybeejourney Год назад +3

    I didn't realize until I was in my late fifties that my mother was a narcissit/borderline personality Jezebel. My brother is the Golden Child, and I'm cast as the Scapegoat. Sick. Demonic. Thanks for this.

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  Год назад +2

      I’m sorry. At least you know now. Better late than never. Did you decide to go no contact? I hope so. You don’t deserve to be anyone’s punching bag.

  • @kj-HonkHonk
    @kj-HonkHonk 4 года назад +16

    My mom is 100% Narcissistic
    -I was told I was fat as a kid (I wasn't)
    -I was made to feel stupid and compared to my older sister.
    -I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness to maximize her control over me.
    -My older sister was spoiled.. Then my younger sister after my older sister got married and left.
    -I was a household slave and babysitter
    -I was never "religious" enough in compared to my older sister.
    -I was told I was ugly
    -If I was upset I was yelled out abd belittled
    -I was forced on birth-control pills under age cause she was paranoid that I was sexual active (I wasn't)
    -I didn't have my own bedroom I had to sleep in my younger sister's room and later in the dinning room with all my stuff in containers.
    -Never had any privacy or friends. (Outside of JW religion)
    -Wasn't allow to like any boys.
    -was expected to get married as soon as I started dating.
    -She threatened to put me up for adoption, and murder me several times.
    -She threatened to have me arrested.
    -I only had hand me down clothes from my older sister and later my younger sister.
    -I was kicked out of the house 3 times homeless for awhile cause she thought I was sneaking around with guys.
    -She accused me of sleeping with my brother in law and my step dad.
    -I was never good enough when it came to everything.
    -She hated my career choices.
    -She turned everyone in the family against me. (NO CONTACT WITH DAD)
    -She called me a slut for just wearing shorts (In Florida btw)
    -She was extremely jealous of me.
    -She guilt tripped me with illnesses she got or any money of gifts she did give me calling me ungrateful.
    -Later she left The JW religion started cutting me off from family holidays.
    -She was sexually perverted around my husband making him uncomfortable.
    -She always wanted to talk about my sex life.
    -Told me I wasn't a good wife cause I wasn't controlling his money. Or forcing him to make house repairs up to her standards.
    -Picked at him for not spoiling me with money.
    There is wayyy more but reflecting back this was just a portion of the crap this Devil Jezebel woman put me through.. It's sick and I'm now in a position to her off 100% now. It's the only way!

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +2

      kj35779 - Honk Honk! Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear you went thru that but at least you know you’re not alone. And it wasn’t you. Their is no right answer and their is no no way to meet their standards. Their game is to make you feel insecure and angry and frustrated. Glad to hear you decided not to play anymore!

  • @MarkeYah
    @MarkeYah 5 лет назад +8

    Glory be to God for you and your testimony!! Thank you for sharing Sister!!🙏🏾💕💕

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад +3

      Markeyah Wilson May the God of Peace bless you as well!

    • @MarkeYah
      @MarkeYah 5 лет назад +2

      Children of God Unite in Love Peace and Compassion Thank you Sis!😊❤️

  • @susilisa8460
    @susilisa8460 5 лет назад +7

    Thank you for your testimony! 🌹 It has helped me see that my mother and brother and a few other family members have been the Jezebels and Athaliahs trying to outdo each other in breaking me down. I've continued to try and forgive them quickly and show nothing but love and each time I'm made a fool of and deemed the disgust of this family ......
    I've been all 3: the golden child, responsibility stand in and the emotionally abused punching bag that's why it's been a whirlwind of confusion for me since I began following Jesus Christ in 2010. Now I finally understand!

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад +1

      Susi Lisa Im so sorry you’ve gone through that. I’m happy you found this talk helpful. You are not alone, sis. And you will get through this. I made a video going over the stages after you find out what’s happening and that it’s not a misunderstanding. There’s one on the stages and another one on forgiving when the other person isn’t even sorry. Please me posted on how you’re doing. I’m rooting for you. God bless!!!

  • @jenniferrodgers9656
    @jenniferrodgers9656 2 года назад +2

    I am the oldest of 4 - 3 girls then the youngest is my brother. My mom abused me from birth. I was the punching bag and responsible for everyone and everything. Today, I am the crazy one, the "lesser"one. My siblings had a completely different childhood.. I didn't have one. My father died a year ago due to covid and I was left to grieve alone... I am going through divorce from a Narcissist, and have severe medical issues from neglect and abuse. I need my mother and family, however, I say, "all I have or hear are 'crickets'." I have been completely isolated from everyone, however, this year I was invited to Thanksgiving at my sisters house. I felt that I was being ignored and possibly talked about in a negative way for the 3 hours I was able to stand being at family Thanksgiving. I need to say that I do not ask for anything from anyone in my family.. At any rate, I am sick, on food stamps, and have no income due to illness. (This is the first time I have been without a job as I have been a RN for 27 years). My sisters are extremely well off, as well as my parents. My brother has had some issues with drug use which has caused him major financial problems. My mother has "supported" him and his problems, while I was starving and without medications and support. (I have to say that my parents lived in a home 3 states away from her other 3 children, on my youngest sisters property - bought by her in the last year of my father's life). My mother traveled here for the holiday, driving past me to stay with my sister. They went to Kentucky a day later to see aunts, uncles, ect.. again driving within 3 miles of my home, and did not include me in the trip,(knowing I wanted to go, and was alone). On my mother's 5th day in town, she came to my home "to see my home and take me to lunch". She didn't even know my address, btw. My mom was with me for 3 hours and left, (this was 4 days before Thanksgiving). During this visit, I learned that my mom spent the night before with my niece, ( who lives 10 minutes away from me). I had asked my mom to stay with me for a night, of course she declined, and made
    an excuse. She is well aware that I need her, wanted to spend time with her.. DENIED! As she was leaving, she inquired if I was coming to Thanksgiving dinner, knowing I was going to be alone if I didn't attend.. I have not heard one word from my mom or anyone else for that matter since Thanksgiving day.

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  2 года назад

      Hi Jennifer, I’m so sorry you have had to endure such cruelty from those who are supposed to love you the most. You don’t deserve it, my friend. Unfortunately, this cruel game your family plays with your feelings will never end. I hope you give other relationships a chance. You deserve to be loved by a “family” of good friends of your choosing. I wish you the very best of luck. Please feel free to reach out to me whenever you need someone to talk to.
      -V

  • @donavonseibert507
    @donavonseibert507 4 года назад +6

    Your family dynamic is the exact same as mine. Oldest daughter, middle son, I, the youngest daughter, the scapegoat. My brother was the Golden Child and my sister was more like you, The Lost Child. She had rules but not like I did. I felt like I was in a cage until the age of 21 when I finally moved out for the first time. And my brother ran around like a wild banshee never really suffering consequences.

  • @Limlani
    @Limlani 2 года назад +2

    I moved out at 16, went back then left for good at 17. Until i was 37 and was with child. I'm a single mum. (All happened beforebeing born again) I don't live with them but live in one of their properties and am in their 'lair' ... i can't WAIT to get out. They have recently made it clear that out of the grandchildren, they want to make mine the scapegoat. (I was the scapegoat and my sister the golden child... my sister's oldest boy is the golden grandchild, my sister's daughter was going to be the scapegoat [i used to defend her] and now my daughter is here, they have made it clear she will be the scapegoat]). . . I am trying to let my daughter know that my love is unconditional and with some (narcissistic types), whatever they say, whether positive or negative, not to take it personally. I am trying to bring my daughter up to know God. My wider family is irreligious and full of pride. I pray God will open the doors and that I have the diligence to hear His still voice.
    Just found your channel and it is refreshing. I am forgiving to my family but I will not stand for bullying. The least is to say it is awkward. . .
    May the grace of the Lord Jesus be ever with you sister in Christ.

  • @ryuhayabusa5222
    @ryuhayabusa5222 Год назад +1

    also I gave her money she never paid back said it was a big love gift yes at my expense so sad at 83 and was raised in LDS church she is a know it all everyone has left her no matter how much u give her or listing to her whining n complaining if u reprimand her she blames u I will not take her crazy making ever again, as kind people we do not think like them Sheenah Megi is a utuber she is so helpful also she back her words up with scripture n examples so helpful like u thx carmen

  • @Mysasser1
    @Mysasser1 6 месяцев назад +1

    Omg we have the same family dynamic!!!!!!!!!!😮😢

  • @aarongerig9223
    @aarongerig9223 Год назад +1

    Thank you! At 15:08! She was NOT praying to our lord.
    My vessel use to claim that GOD himself spoke directly to her. When I asked what GOD said, she was very generic. She actually told ME that GOD told HER to listen to ME about something, then she didn’t listen to me about. So she actually disobeyed whatever she was talking to. (It was not GOD)!

  • @Youluber185
    @Youluber185 4 года назад +3

    My brother is the golden child too! I’m the scapegoat (youngest) and my older sister is the black sheep😂😂

  • @cukomi
    @cukomi 4 года назад +4

    Hi Child of God, thank you for your testimony. I also have a Jezebel mom and it’s like you’re giving a perfect analysis about her in this video. 24:24 Spot on, she is almost like a saint in disguise, because it always looks like she’s helping one another. However she’s collecting supply wherever she can. My Jezebel mom loves to get praise, setup confusion and evil plans and their goal is to destruct (like my family and my marriage); she really gets a kick out of it. Thereafter I have a loving but unfortunately totally lost father who seems to be an Ahab, I just found out. My older brother is the Golden Child and I was the Scapegoat. I thank God for the courage and wisdom He has given me for going No Contact (except for my dad). I totally agree with you on them (being very sneaky). The way they abuse you is invisible to others. It looks like they’re behaving so concerned and always with the best intentions, that’s why it’s hard to expose them 20:59. At a very young age, when you get her raging anger with deafening yelling and beatings, you’re desperately hoping for help. You’re wondering, why doesn’t anyone save me, I’m screaming and crying for help, where is dad, why doesn’t he come and save me, why does he allow this to happen to me? After the beatings she would say, it’s for your own good and to get you disciplined. They have done a lot of harm, damage and destruction, through all my life. My Golden Child brother has a lot of the same traits as our mother. To me he was always a big bully and unfortunately he still is (40+). He also likes to take over my friendships. So, we share the same friends and family and most of them don’t understand why I went No Contact on them. They just don’t see or/and feel the life sucking and toxic pouring that they do. I guess only survivors of narcissistic abuse know the feeling. They’re Always right, Never admit their wrongs, Never say they’re sorry, No mercy and No remorse. When will they change their wicked behaviors? You just can’t live [a close and joyful life] with them. How was your brother to you and to your sister in your childhood and how did he turn out? I don’t think my brother has NPD like my mom, but he surely has enough of its toxic traits to make me feel insecure and miserable, and to give me unwanted strife in my life. I just had enough of being never good enough, to both of them. But now I know, the only thing that matters is I’m more then enough to our Lord and Savior ✝️🔥😇 Gbu sister ❤️

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +1

      M I Wow, I’m so sorry to hear that. Did you watch the video I made about how Narcissistic Mothers coddle their adult sons. Unfortunately, I think you’ll be able to relate. You aren’t alone. Please remember God is always listening to our prayers. He’ll help you thru this!!! Thanks for watching! I hope I can help and offer support 💕 May the God of Peace continue to bless and protect you 💕

    • @cukomi
      @cukomi 4 года назад

      Children of God Unite in Love Peace & Compassion thanks for your message! I just saw the video and yes I am able to relate. Thank you for your videos, they are very helpful. Yes thank God, I’m sort of out of this narcissistic web 🙌🏽 Unfortunately there are still flying monkeys or/and enablers (friends and family members) whom are still dear to me, but just don’t see the harm of it or won’t do anything about it. I don’t wanna lose everyone, but convincing them seems impossible, because they haven’t experienced this kind of abuse. It’s almost like they interpreting it like it’s not a big deal and you just have to get over it 🤦🏽 Since I went no contact, my mind became so much more clearer, I got my self worth back. Something that has been taken from me as far as I can remember. Any tips for cptsd (from a Christian perspective)?

  • @AAj-bv2ud
    @AAj-bv2ud 4 года назад +7

    youre story is so close to mine,,,my mother put curfews on me even when i had graduated college at 24....i had to be home by 12am and for every minute i was late, 15 mins would be taken off of my next outing,,,sigh,,,,my brother never helped do anything around the house, while i did everything, she paid all his bills and still is at his age of 46. he was given everything and allowed to do whatever he wanted while i was made to be some trouble maker beacuse i just wanted to be a normal teenager for growing up...shes verbally abuse me and then when i developed an eating disorder, she acted like i was doing something against her and shamed me and told everyone about it....to this day, she seems to think that my brother, who is 46, is going to take care of her when the time comes that she cant take care of herself...shes 76 now....shes leaving everything to him in her will, but tries to pretend that shes not, because she has to know deep down that hes a lay entitled narc like her and wont be there to help her...i tried for many years to make her love me, but im done trying. she will NEVER love me, and that is ok with me because i have a wonderful daughter who loves me and who i love more than anything...i will never be like her and i sleep well at night knowing that my child will always know what it is like to have a mother who loves her.

    • @danielbergersen4459
      @danielbergersen4459 3 года назад +1

      Wow!!! Powerful story. May your daughter be a jewel to u now and forever

    • @coreyanderson1457
      @coreyanderson1457 3 года назад

      Me too! Same with my daughter.

  • @Matilda-re1wm
    @Matilda-re1wm 5 лет назад +2

    You are so lovely and softly spoken. So beautiful.

  • @indiaruffin5979
    @indiaruffin5979 4 года назад +2

    My sister was like this ,my mom wasn't mean she just wasn't affectionate. She didn't pretend to br nice in public she just didn't do what we wanted it east about us when she took us out . It was about how she looked as a mom.

  • @ojalara3937
    @ojalara3937 3 года назад +2

    my mother exaclty. She would use me like an emotional tampon behind closed doors. and "discard" me in public by acting like she was queen of the world, and i was her problem child who she doesnt know what to do with. And after college, she went on a 20 minute scream/ mental breakdown about how I wouldnt amount to shit. I would lose my job and be homleless without her.
    3 years later, Im making 90k. Living fine. But i cant allow her to have a normal relationship with me after that night. Im in no conact because I cant stand being around her for too long.

  • @a.r.williams1453
    @a.r.williams1453 4 года назад +2

    Made my day just watching you speak felt like you were speaking directly to me, its true what they say gods uses people to serve his will keep doing what you doing it really helps me.

  • @JasmineJayJaz
    @JasmineJayJaz 5 лет назад +2

    God Bless You and Your family! Your testimony helped me at this time!

  • @Mysasser1
    @Mysasser1 6 месяцев назад +1

    It's 2024 come back!!!!❤❤❤❤
    Edit: omg you saw the comment. My mom and my brother are terrorizing me right now!

  • @leetrader9576
    @leetrader9576 4 года назад +3

    I'm a seventies kid raised my a spanish woman..... the boys could do no wrong, and the girls were accountable for everything. I always thought it was a spanish thing ...

  • @baptizedbychrist9976
    @baptizedbychrist9976 5 месяцев назад +1

    You are describing my narc mom… I’ve been her scapegoat for my entire life except once when my sister came out as gay but after about a year my Christian mom went from
    Being super against my golden child sisters coming out but then discarded me and paid for her lgbt wedding. This is a Christian woman but she left the church when my sister did…. Now she claims Jesus would have also paid for the wedding and that she will never abandon her children but she put me in foster care at 13 years old. My story is a nightmare…. I can go on and on but I’m
    Writing a book instead. They’re hypocrites to the absolute core…. Ps: I believe Jesus loves everyone but I’m saying if it was me that was gay there’s no way she would’ve accepted it or paid for me…. She would say I wish Jesus would heal you as she does say to me lol even though she’s the one I need to freaking heal from. She’s a nutbag

  • @Ariel_lionof_God
    @Ariel_lionof_God Год назад

    🎯🎯🎯 the only child analysis is spot on.

  • @stonedassassin187
    @stonedassassin187 3 года назад +4

    Being an only child when i spoke out everyone called me a liar. She told them i did everything she did. These women are pure evil.

  • @etphonehome4511
    @etphonehome4511 5 лет назад +2

    Great video. I feel like I was both. Dads scapegoat/spewed all his crap on me, everything I did was wrong...Moms golden child/smothered, could do no wrong....what a mind fuck!!! Lol

  • @tamaraderry3930
    @tamaraderry3930 4 года назад +1

    So, I really appreciate that you're able to put this out there for other people to hear. I am 51 and have been trying to heal for years from having a narcissist (Jezebel) mother. There were six of us and I was the punching bag. I was second oldest. The oldest was The Golden Child.but because there were three girls and then three boys the first boy was also The Golden Child. my younger sister was one that even though my mother was hard on her lied all the time and got away with it yet would get in trouble for minor things. I have a handicapped brother who was second born son, he was coddled and abused. He was always told he was retarded and that got him out of trouble or not having to do anything. Then there was the baby...she mostly ignored him. I always had to take care of him. I was 9 years older than him. She would only punish him if anyone complained about him getting away with things.
    I couldn't do anything right, was always the one she punished when she was mad, she would even just chop my hair off because she was mad at somebody else. then she would make fun of me because she had done such a bad job at chopping my hair. I did most of the housework because she chose to lay on the couch and read her books and eat her sweets. The oldest sister couldn't do any cleaning because it would mess up her nails, the next sister didn't do it right so she wasn't allowed to do it, the boys want supposed to clean anything because they were boys. Yes, definitely at times I felt like Cinderella only without the happy ending. So I'm the one that definitely made a lot of very bad choices. I did everything I could to get away from her but that always ended up something would happen and I had to go back home. which started another round of telling me how worthless I am and how much I can't do anything and I'll never get anywhere and I might as well just give up. I was severely depressed and suicidal. Very oppressed and felt like I was the one messing up and I kept trying harder and harder to do the right things only it never made it right. I struggled when I had my children because she wanted to take them as well. she said I would be a horrible mom so she's the one that needed to take care of them. Only I was taking care of them I just had to do everything that she. I try to fight it but I was never strong enough. When my daughter was about five I finally got away from her. But never far enough. The things she would tell my kids about me were horrible. But eventually, the saw it for themselves.
    Yes narcissists are very covert. Even other family members take a long time to catch on. Unfortunately when they do they just say that she can't help it that's just the way she is. So they enable her and I'm the black sheep and crazy. Lol
    I'm still working on it getting further and further away. I finally out from underneath that oppression. She still calls occasionally to ask me how I am only to tell me that I doing everything wrong.
    Jesus has got me so I know I'm ok. I have a future without all that trauma. I am stronger through Christ. Phil 4:13 is the scripture that did the most for me throughout all of that. God is good!!!🙌

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +1

      Tamara Derry God is Good. And I’m sure he helped you and put brakes on your mom when she would have otherwise gone overboard. Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone. I hope to make a video addressing struggles like yours. So please be patient and I will respond in more detail via video. I hope you have a good day. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Keep going. It will get better. Best wishes!

    • @tamaraderry3930
      @tamaraderry3930 4 года назад

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 thank you for responding and encouraging. that is a very very basic outline and I have so much more that I could talk about. One day maybe I will. I just don't know if I could do it in a video format like you so kudos to you for being able to do that.

  • @coreyanderson1457
    @coreyanderson1457 3 года назад +1

    I was raised by a Malignant Narcissist. So, I can relate. My step granmother, who was supposed to be like my grandma since I was a baby, never behaved like one. She is a Covert Narcissist. So, unfortunately for us! But, thank God that we are trying to not repeat the cycle. I vowed to never do to my daughter, what was done to me. So, it's really hard. I have had to pray over forgiving, especially since I was still dealing with them. It wasn't just something that happened years ago. Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to your sister. Also, I became the scapegoat when I grew up, because I was asserting boundaries. Thank again.

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  3 года назад +2

      Thank you for watching and for sharing your story. I’m happy to hear you’re eager to break the cycle. Same here! I’m trying! And the more I focus on bettering myself and loving on my children and being a good example for them, the easier it gets.

    • @coreyanderson1457
      @coreyanderson1457 3 года назад

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 I agree. And, focusing on what matters is the best motivation. Good for you. Also, thanks for your reply. We'll keep being good moms! ☺

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  3 года назад

      @@coreyanderson1457 You can call/text me any time. We’re in this together. I’ll leave my number up for a little while if you’re interested.
      -Vanessa

  • @AbsoluteMdot
    @AbsoluteMdot 2 года назад +2

    My mother in law treats my husband like shit but will turn around and treat his brother like Gold.

  • @McGangsta
    @McGangsta 4 года назад +7

    My mom played me and my sisters against each other for years. We hated each other and just resigned ourselves to the fact that we’d never get along. She’d tell us that the other one said how jealous they were and trashed us... but it wasn’t true. Finally, through counseling, I was able to see things and understand what was really happening. My siblings and I talked, apologized to each other, and set a group boundary we weren’t going to talk about each other with her. That’s when things got really bad. When you take away their power, you’ll see an entirely new level. But, knowing what’s really going on takes out a lot of the sting.

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +1

      J McG Absolutely! Thank you so much for sharing! I’m happy you got your sisters back. The lies and dirty tricks are so awful to learn about. But it’s better to know the truth!

  • @nicklopez8004
    @nicklopez8004 5 лет назад +6

    Idk which one I am, but my mom always blames everything on me

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад +7

      Nick Lopez if she blames everything on you, you’re the scapegoat. She will typically take out all of her anger and frustration on you. Small things become an excuse for toxic , narcissistic rage. If she’s a covert narcissist, she’ll do her best to hide her aggressive and cruel side. But it’s impossible to do that 24/7. Narcissistic mothers often show their irrational, ugly side to the scapegoat child but no one else really sees that. And if the family is REALLY messed up, everyone accepts that this poor kid is always the odd man out. The group think is that he/she has it coming bc the narcissistic mother lies and exaggerates about this “difficult “ child. I’m sorry you went thru that. I hope you’re no contact w her. Unfortunately, they don’t change. They only get meaner as they get older and more insecure.

    • @hepdehootie
      @hepdehootie 3 года назад +2

      I feel your pain Nick. I am a male and The Scapegoat.

  • @CHSN-1
    @CHSN-1 4 года назад +4

    Thank you 🙏🏼 I was apart of the same kind of family. I was the youngest of 3 and I was the scapegoat. I was programmed to play baseball and make my parents look like good parents. Then I started playing at a very high level and got engaged and my jealous mom and dad created a situation/fight to trick, confuse, and destroy me. They were just jealous but I couldn’t see it? Lol I didn’t even realize my mom was the narcissist because my dad purposely diverts the attention to him because he’s an alcoholic. They were working together against me for yrs until it hit me how it all happened and how it works? My mom is Jezabel🤦🏻‍♂️ all the covert incest makes me sick to my stomach...

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад

      Shawn O. Hi Shawn, so sorry to hear you went thru that. How awful! I’m happy you’re seeing things more clearly now. I made a video talking about how Narcissistic mothers coddle their adult sons. You may also identify with that one and find it helpful.
      Please keep me posted on your situation. I think it’s helpful to know we’re not alone. Hope you’re having a good night😊

  • @TheReinaLia
    @TheReinaLia 3 года назад +1

    enjoyed your description.... I did an announcement as a teen in front of my aunty, fortunately I didn't get a backlash as I guess my mum didn't care too much of keeping up appearances in present company. I did a reenactment of how my mother asks me to turn the light out with Corse and loud aggressive tone and then how she asks my blue eyed brother in a gentle calm non bothered tone lol and I wasn't in the scapegoat, the scapegoat was given away at age six to foster care since she did not have love for him.... that brother is all good now and I am proud of him, he showed me the file social services kept of my mother, you'd mistake it for a novel lol
    I certainly see the challenges you went through and hugs to you :) sometimes I mourn of not having a maternal mother especially when I see a friend of mine has one. x

    • @TheReinaLia
      @TheReinaLia 3 года назад +1

      blue eyed boy brother ended up in prison numerous times as an adult

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  3 года назад

      I’m sorry you had to go thru that. It wasn’t your fault. I hope you have peace and love in your relationships now

  • @aroguereptilian
    @aroguereptilian 3 года назад +3

    I had to turn the vid off halfway thru cause this manipulation, gaslighting etc is so disgusting. All of this rings so true to memories of my own family. Its so ridiculous & calculated yet u call anything out & its like "WHAT?! id never do any of that". I honestly believe full blown npd is spiritual warfare. Its heartbreaking.

  • @nicklopez8004
    @nicklopez8004 5 лет назад +1

    I love that painting behind you

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад

      Nick Lopez I bought it when I was at a crossroads. I had been very sad but started running again, feeling more like myself, and I got a new job. I felt unsure of what the future would look like. But I was optimistic.

  • @annenoir9409
    @annenoir9409 2 года назад +3

    I am an only child of a narcissist mother and a scapegoat

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  2 года назад +1

      I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure that was a horrible experience. How are you now? Did you go no contact?

    • @annenoir9409
      @annenoir9409 2 года назад +1

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 im 41, currently no contact, but not since long time. My mental health has been terrible I can't sleep since 25 years. My mom's family is entirely narcissistic. Unfortunately I married a psychopathic narcissist. Since you're young I highly advise to deal with the mental health issues that arise or you're at high risk running into a narcissistic husband because of unresolved mental problems. Now I'm alone and so happy

    • @annenoir9409
      @annenoir9409 2 года назад +1

      Ah you have already kids 😊 I like how mature you are. I was raised in complete isolation feel like I started to mature around 20 when I was finally out of the domestic abuse

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  2 года назад +1

      @@annenoir9409 I’m 42 now 😊

  • @GodHelpMe369
    @GodHelpMe369 8 месяцев назад +2

    I want to die
    I want to die
    I want to die
    I can no longer bear the darkness
    this grief and loneliness...
    they rape me;
    torture me;
    on a soul level
    my only prayer is for death
    I'm in hell and I can't find escape
    God has forsaken me
    my whole life I've been tortured, bullied, abused, raped
    all I do is suffer
    my life is hell

  • @deanasherrick9399
    @deanasherrick9399 3 года назад +1

    I'm almost 39 and have been suspicious for a long time. I knew for certain after my last crisis vacation when I got the diagnosis of Bipolar 1. Started doing my research into Bipolar, parents got irritated that I wanted them to get to know my diagnosis; one thing lead to another and I started researching everything narcissistic.

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  3 года назад

      Once you start researching, it’s easy to let it consume you. Try to not to let videos make you angrier or sadder than when you started watching. Good luck!

  • @Mysasser1
    @Mysasser1 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you.

  • @maxfactor315
    @maxfactor315 5 лет назад +2

    You just disturbed my mother

  • @hizbonnymyclyde12
    @hizbonnymyclyde12 5 лет назад +1

    Amen!!!! Thank you hun.

  • @ryuhayabusa5222
    @ryuhayabusa5222 Год назад +1

    u r s kind hearted n nice, I have had narc treatment for yrs with a elderly lady 83 many times II ghosted her recently I felt bad things have gone bad for her n she was nice for awhile but wouldd get mean it bothered my spirit even tho she reads the Word has prophetic dreams as I do she is do bitter n unforgiving I told her one must ask the HS to finish up the work we need to ask bit since she is perfect (haha) I was too nice she recently hung up on me called me multiple times daily then the Lord showed me yes she is mine but is using controlling witchcraft on u and I do not like the way she treats u as u r mine the unresolved anger n demons they entertain attack one we r fighting SPiritual wickedness everytime I go no contact for a yr or so she returns t constant calling to be rude n snide all about her she is a gossip and is blind to what she does but she is Superior in God what a farce I just am letting go no contact no answering her calls I felt bad but I was also enabling her cruelty I love ur vids n kind tone so I am binge watching Bless u Carmen

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  Год назад

      “Enabling her cruelty”. Wow, exactly. They use the Bible against us saying we should respect and obey our parents. But they take advantage. And when we see or speak to them, they unleash cruelty in an effort to control and dominate. So sad to be them. And so horrible to be around them. I’m glad you went no contact. Good for you. You deserve better

  • @MrsTigerlover
    @MrsTigerlover 4 года назад +1

    So so accurate!😳

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад

      MrsTigerlover Sorry you know someone like this. Thankfully we can learn and grow from the experience. Thanks for watching!

  • @IAmAmandaAmor
    @IAmAmandaAmor 5 лет назад +2

    Thank you so much for this video! I see your channel has a lot of content about narcissism and I can’t wait to dive in and watch all of it.
    Narcissism is a topic that I unfortunately but fortunately have gained a lot of exposure to.
    I really want to ask you your opinion on do you believe that narcissists are aware of there actions? Or are they completely oblivious to the evil that they cause on to others?

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад +2

      The Influence Of Love I believe they know exactly what they’re doing. I think of them like emotional sadists. They enjoy controlling and manipulating and watching someone’s emotions go from happy and relaxed to a completely destroyed basket case. They did that. And it feels empowering to them. Sometimes they can’t hide their inappropriate giddiness. And that’s when you see the Narcissistic Smirk. Very creepy. Thanks for watching! I’m so happy you found it helpful!

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +1

      Sam Thomas it’s super creepy that they all do it 😬

  • @rosannamiranda4620
    @rosannamiranda4620 4 года назад +2

    My brother is golden child me and Sister scapegoats :(

  • @thebullwhisperer916
    @thebullwhisperer916 4 года назад +1

    Yahuah Baruk you

  • @lovejesuschristlovejesus3398
    @lovejesuschristlovejesus3398 4 года назад +2

    I know you supposed to forgive. I have been trying. But I don't understand why is it that God deliver my mom from my abusive dad. But he hasn't delivered me from my emotional abusive mom? I am trying so hard to be financially independent from her. I am almost there. He delivered her financially independent from my abusive dad. Why can't he do the same for me? I'm not saying its Jesus fault. I just don't understand what is taking so long?

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +1

      LoveJesusChrist lovejesus Hello, thanks for sharing. I know the situation can be very frustrating. How old are you? If you are under 18 and haven’t graduated high school yet, you’re in a very different boat than you would be as an adult making the decision to live at home. Remember as underage children, we don’t get much say. But as adults, we may feel pressure to comply and submit but ultimately it’s up to us to decide what kind of like we want to live and who we want around us.

    • @lovejesuschristlovejesus3398
      @lovejesuschristlovejesus3398 4 года назад +1

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 I agree. I got my own apartment and my own job. The only thing left is my own car. I need a car really bad for college. Jesus got me a grant for college. I am still using her car. Which she don't use but I know she is going to guilt trip me about it like everything. I do feel guilty . I need to find a stupid car that the bank will let me have and than I can leave her for good. I got approved by a bank for a car loan. After I find a car I am free. I am going to pay her back as much money as I can for physically taking care of me. even though she emotional abuse me. Not that I am perfect. I just want her out my life. But I really do hope she have a good life. Just a life that's forever away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @lovejesuschristlovejesus3398
      @lovejesuschristlovejesus3398 4 года назад +1

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 if husbands and wives can fall out of love for each other and get a divorce. So can parents and kids fall out of love for each other and be disowned its only fair specially in abuse

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад

      LoveJesusChrist lovejesus when it comes to our parents, it’s natural to feel guilty for not wanting to be around them. But if you can honestly say someone is emotionally or physically abusing you, you are under no obligation to offer yourself up as a punching bag, just because they’re family

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +1

      It sounds like you’re doing great and are on the right path toward independence. You should be proud of yourself. Balancing work and school isn’t easy. I’m happy she’s letting you use her car. You should count that as a huge blessing and really appreciate that. Narcissists love to sabotage and take things bk at the worst moment just to create chaos and force you to quit or get fired. I’d say you’re probably getting a lot more divine help than you may realize. Things are lining up wonderfully for you. Just keep doing what you’re doing and be prepared for her to guilt trip you. It’s up you if you want to let her words affect you. Keep being responsible and work hard and soon you’ll be in a position to get your own car.

  • @theripefruit4343
    @theripefruit4343 5 лет назад +4

    How old are you!?!?! You look 25, 26!!!

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  4 года назад +5

      The Ripe Fruit Awww, thank you. That’s nice of you to say. I’m 40 actually.

    • @honeybeejourney
      @honeybeejourney Год назад +1

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 Forty years old is a beautiful time. You’re young- but you have a lot of wisdom. Thanks for your service to our God.

  • @aarongerig9223
    @aarongerig9223 Год назад +1

    Also (off topic) are you married?

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  Год назад

      Yes, I’ve been remarried for almost 13 yrs. My narc mom did everything she could to destroy our marriage and for a while it worked, just like with my first marriage. But thank God, I decided to go no contact. Once I did, my marriage flourished almost instantly!

  • @theripefruit4343
    @theripefruit4343 5 лет назад +2

    Is your sister ok? I feel like i should be her friend lol.

    • @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858
      @childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858  5 лет назад +5

      My sister is doing great, thank God. She has a wonderful husband and has her own little family. She's a fantastic mom. She really goes out of her way to make her children feel loved. Thanks for asking.

    • @theripefruit4343
      @theripefruit4343 5 лет назад +1

      @@childrenofgoduniteinpeacel8858 im happy to know that, i was just saying that cause i was in her position

    • @nicklopez8004
      @nicklopez8004 5 лет назад +1

      Ok I think i am the emotional punching bag, idk who is the golden child though

    • @nicklopez8004
      @nicklopez8004 5 лет назад +1

      My family goes like this I am the oldest than its my sister then my brother then my sister I feel the golden child is my brother and my youngest sister

    • @nicklopez8004
      @nicklopez8004 5 лет назад +2

      They can't drag me, cause I give my siblings the most love like hugging them a lot and my mom still says things like see this is why you need a girlfriend

  • @peacefullife5907
    @peacefullife5907 4 года назад

    It is not correct that if there is only one boy among siblings he is always the golden child. Absolutely false.