Raising Kids | A Skiing Family Philosophy
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
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I truly believe there is no ONE right way to live. But there are some principles and concepts that are useful to be aware of.
"Don't Bubble Wrap Your Kids" is a saying that encapsulates a parenting philosophy that lets kid be kids. There are unintended negative consequences to over-protecting kids. As parents, we have to strike that balance.
Learning how to navigate hardship is the only way to learn the skills required to tolerate adversity and uncertainty.
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▶ 🥶 Stay Warm: thatmountainli... mountain ski dad, I know that teaching kids to ski can be a challenge. But it's totally worth it when you see them skiing down the slopes like pros! In this video, I share three core principles for making the process easier and more fun for everyone involved.
As a former part time ski instructor who has raised kids on sunny beaches and the ski slopes, I can say with confidence that this kind of exposure (and everything that goes with it) is of immense long term benefit to the development of of children. I applaud you. Happy New Year.
Team Don’t Bubble Wrap 👊
as a kid who was bubblewrapped I totally agree with you. I was feeling independent and capable of handling myself around age 12, yet my parents never allowed me the freedom to explore and learn from my mistakes. They provided me with a controlled environment all the time. I couldn't stand it and now that I'm 31 I struggle to do new things because I didn't learn how as a kid when I was fear free
We did this. Now have three boys 29, married successful, 22, patrolling out west, and 17, dual enrolled as a HS Senior and college Freshman living on campus. All are active outdoors, hunting, fishing, skiing, hiking and mountain biking. We didn't pay their way, didn't pay for college. They all attribute their success to having the freedom to explore and not being coddled, having the space to figure things out with the support of a strong family.
The snowflake parents will only see the parts of the video where the children fall, or fail. They are blind to the parts where the kids get right back up and continue on with zero hesitation.
I watch your channel because I love how confident and brave your kids are. Keep on keeping on. You are raising leaders
Great philosophy. It is obviously working for you. Kudos to you both for great parenting!
I think it’s quite obvious that there is nothing “neglectful” about your way of parenting!! Such an amazing life your kids have!! Keep
It up⛷️⛷️❤️
I love the way you immediately validate the wipeouts and pouts, and ASK what they need- they get right back up because they didn’t need to work for that emotional validation. Too many parents TELL their kids, “You’re fine,” and that is nOt the same.
I wish people would leave parents alone. What works for one kid doesn't work for others. They're all doing their best. And yes there are times where you should get involved if the child is obviously struggling or being neglected or god forbid abused but for the most part everyone's doing a bang up job of parenting their kids so ignore all the nay sayers!!
Lot of good points! And not even of the slopes but especially for kids in large urban(ized) areas we need much more natural playgrounds instead of the super controlled and risk averse playgrounds (here it's called the 'rubber tile society') we have been building for the last 30 years. I'm a policymaker for urban planning / public space in The Netherlands with my first kid on the way and I couldn't agree with you more. :):)
Oooh, The Netherlands is lucky to having you in that role!
Not all playgrounds and kids spaces are created equally - that’s for sure!
Two questions - did you have to convince your wife of this attitude? And have your kids been injured yet? (Hopefully not!). My wife was a commercial pilot so literally has a zero risk mindset whereas I work off expected probability so am tolerant of risk She was also a child actress so wasn’t allowed to ride a bicycle even in case she scraped a knee! She learnt to ride a bike aged 29! So I’m up against it! Maybe a semester at your wife’s forest school for both !
Courtney came from a farm background with an intuitive mothering ability to care and nurture our kids - but also knew that scrapes and bruises are all part of a healthy childhood.
We were fortunately quite congruent on the at from the get-go.
We want more skiing videos and less educating.
Don’t watch the educating ones! One of my “How To Teach a Kid to Ski” videos is one of my most watched videos every month.
@@ThatMountainLife Cause we still watch them, cause you make good content, and some of us has nothing else to do.
Nice to hear a bit more about your parenting philosophy. You often mention your unique philosophy during your videos but hearing you share on one facet more in depth is very informative. More short form parenting philosophy videos like this would be great to see!
Thanks Micheal
I wish i also had the opportunity beeing raised Like this…. Now i am 33 and still feel unsure of myself and Not able to solve Problems on my own. And i am so blocked and so lost that i often ask my parents for advise. So i think i still loose the Game to be a Grown up adult.
I still trying to find the way to live more by my own and make my own mistakes and Not to be to anxious. But with 33 i know i am a Lot Lot behind many other grown up Person and that IS still super Frustrating.
Self awareness is a great place to start. And it’s completely possible to make shifts and heal.
We can “reparent” ourselves.
For me when it comes to personal development and growth there is always a dance between accepting where you are at now and making changes. When we strive to make changes that are connected to our self-worth they tend to stick.
You’re worth it.
You have the power and agency to make changes.
All the best.
What!! Adversity, discipline and facing fears are good for kids who knew. Seems if you teach kids the things to be a well rounded adult it works. Go figure. The bible says teach them in the ways they should go as a child and they will return to it as adults.
A lot of the culture inadvertently and unconsciously doesn’t do this and aren’t aware of the negative consequences.
Videos like this are for them. 👊
Awesome video!
They fall so gracefully!!
No, thank you! By Aria ❤
I'm 69 years old, and bubble wrapping didn't exist when I was growing up. Yes, there were numerous trips to the hospital, but injuries heal. We never bubble wrap our kids, and there were injuries. Both my "kids" are in their thirties, and extremely self-sufficient.
Happy New Year to all of you! 🎉
Happy New Year to you too!
As a Bubbles wrapper myself into private schools and top college just to get dropped out after failing to handle work life balance in college, I couldn’t agree more to your ideology. Mistakes and manageable risks are key to success, not the other way around.
And there’s the sheer fun of growing up climbing, sledding, skiing, scaling, skating, swinging, swimming, throwing rocks at empty fields, and just not having to look at your parent to see if you’re doing it right.
I love your philosophy, your children will grow up so balanced and happy . When I was I child I climbed trees made dens , played conkers , made slides etc never did me any harm . Today it’s all about ‘ risk assessments, you cannot do that etc today’s children are missing out so much and self esteem building.
i dont have kids. but ill admit it hurts me to see some of the stuff here, but i also feel they really learn to handle things. i do remember myself as kid and my brother, crawling in the trees, falling down, crying and then get back up and climb away again.
if they see you worried it will hurt more then if you ask them about it. so i think its a good thing the way you do it, but its still "brutal" to watch at times.
great video as always.
and personal i think i bubblewrapped myself to much.
Great reflections. Overtime, I think I’ve gotten pretty good to discern when a crash, fall or struggle is on the “brutal” side of things - but I know what you mean! It IS tough to watch some of the crashes, even for me.
and happy new years when the time comes
@@ThatMountainLife The one that scared me the most was Adia about 30 feet up in that tree. But that's what trees are there for. And she
IS still with us.
I completely agree with this. Started my 3 kids young, keep it positive, encourage them, celebrate real accomplishment, help them learn to cope with challenges. More power to us! Now those 3 are some of the best skiers on the mountain, well on their way to becoming awesome adults. Wait until you can really ski anywhere with them! That's the big payoff!
Kids need telemark
Setting a boundary instead of barriers, good point.... Thank you.
Love it!! Keep it up!!
I really like your channel but please let us watch the skiing.
Lots of skiing content to come. More than ever. There will also be other videos around lifestyle, parenting values and soon to be rural/small-farm life living.
As a creator, I gotta do me.
👏 amazing video
I totally agree.
So true eric
Word! The goal is not to be as safe as possible, but rather to be as safe as necessary.
I love your parenting! Your children are happy and independent.
Absolutely love this, as someone at the start of this journey I've been moved by your videos over the past year...Although there is no one method for raising kids I'll definitely be using some of your tactics 😀
Awesome Simon. Thanks for commenting.
I 100% agree with you, my dad got me into bmx as a kid and last year he got me into snowboarding and my life has never been better. I have little stress compared to my peers and I have never had depression. And not to mention the physical health benefits
Awesome Calvin! Sounds like you’ve got a solid dad.
Love your content man. Keep it up! I watch your videos every night with my kids and my 3 year old daughter specifically looks forward to watching Adia. She looks up to her so much. Appreciate all the effort that you put in to making great family mtn content!
Thanks so much! Glad you guys like the content.
I am working with kids for 2 decades and I beg you to ignore all the BS comments about you neglecting your kids cause your way is the way to go imho! I literally love this video!
Greetings from Germany and keep up the outstanding parenting
Just because I refer or mention the criticisms doesn’t mean they’re getting to me. At first, they had me triple check that I was in integrity and now critical comments sometimes become part of my content. Sometimes it’s worth shining a light on criticism if I know they’re off the mark and don’t have a leg to stand on.
Other times, some criticism might have a sliver of truth that’s with reflecting on.
We’re all good.
When you put yourself and your family out there in the way I do it’s going to be polarizing and my content cannot be for everyone!
I live in the UK so sadly little skiing but I bought my two boys up out in the fresh air learning how to sail, windsurf and have fun in their environment. I work in childcare myself and am so sad at how risk averse everyone is these days. We very rarely stopped them ‘having a go’ at anything although we quickly learnt ‘One last time…..please’ often ended with an injury. Both boys are in their 30’s now, they live full and busy lives and continue to learn new skills and have fun. Risk is part of the fun. Sometimes it hurts but mostly you just laugh. Ignore those who chose to berate you for the choices you make for your family now. I believe in your parenting style and you can see the children growing from their experiences as each year progresses. My children now love to get me to ‘have a go’ and that included trying to wake surf at the age of 57! Love the videos. Happy new year 🎉
Thanks for that share! Sounds like a wonderful life you created. 🙌
What is your opinion on letting kids watch RUclips/TV shows during free time or when you need a break?
We do it. Just not often. It’s not a daily thing.
I agree. Our patents were of the mind, you climb the tree, you fall out, your choice. You go too fast down the hill, you fall, get hurt, your choice. They backed us up, but weren’t hovering. We have one side of family, where this happened and no one is really independent, all under the wing of the papa bird. Kids need to try out life!
Bang on Kathy.
I love your channel ❤ 0:20
I got lucky. My mother was a hover parent but my dad was confident in and trusted my rationale and common sense so if for example I wanted to walk to the store for a snack or to the school to play on the playground my dad was the call I made when I was home alone not my mother; and I always called when I got back to the house so he knew I was safe. For that 'balance' of sorts, I am grateful.
Nice recognition. Hover parents due so out of love.
Love your videos!
Браво! Это все для здоровья детей!!!
❤ Amen!!!! Kids do need to go for it. I was semi bubble wrapped as a kid. I recovered from that when I joined the police department!!!!! I was injured so often on the job that it became just something that occurred every now and again. As a testament to my resiliency, 9 months ago I broke a rib and bruised my lung when I fell on a messy patch skiing.
I (hard-headedly) refused the Ski Patrol toboggan- opting to ski the last 2/3 the way down (followed by a ‘yellow shirted safety guy). In hindsight it could have been bad if I fell again, but it’s a decision that mentally kept me from becoming too scared of what had occurred. Not suggesting I’d opt that way again, but I believe being upright, under my own control helped me both mentally and physically. 😉👀🤪. We just got back from the Rockies and I did just fine on the slopes!!!!! Love to y’all from San Antonio, TX❤
Whao! Tough one to pick yourself up like that. Sometimes our medicine might be learning when to receive help and not be so strong. 💪 ❤️
@@ThatMountainLife 😂 I tend to be a ‘hardheaded’ woman!!! Guess that’s what can help a person push through tough times…..IDK maybe it was a dumb decision- but it turned out ok…👀🤪😂 adrenaline kept me from realizing just how dodgy it was….double edged sword!
I very much want my child to be wild, free and learn through exploring, but he is extremely cautious. He is 3 now and is still terrified of slides and swings, and won't go on them without me. We went skiing the other day and I brought one of those leash things with us, not because I wanted to, but I knew he would not even try skiing without the security of the leash. We do a lot of outdoors stuff, and I'm always encouraging him to try new things, but he has a lot of resistance. He is always looking for security from his parents before doing anything. He is getting better with time, but it's slow, any advice on this scenario?
Dial everything back to promote independence. Don’t do this at the expense of attachment - as it is very healthy and normal to be attached. And the reality is some humans are naturally, genetically going to be more cautious than others.
Comparison is a nasty thieve. The tribe NEEDS cautious people too. There are lots of unique and differing traits and characteristics that are beneficial to individuals and the community.
The sentiment in this video is simply a pushback to the culture at large that has swung too far the other way.
So meet your child where they are at. Experiencing something many times over, on a small and “safe” scale creates familiarity and safety.
There are kids in our ski town who are much more go-getters than ours when it comes to adrenaline sports and “no fear.” If I had to put our oldest on a spectrum on risk-taking and no fear he would probably be near the average distribution for 10 year olds across the population (maybe slightly above). He is very analytical and doesn’t push it quickly. His younger brother unlocked backflips at age 8 this summer on the trampoline and August didn’t want to push through to keep learning them….
Which is ALL good.
If your kid is naturally cautious, see them. Know them. Love them. And through your loving leadership you can test and assure him. Perhaps “pushing” him through some resistance at the right time and in the right way is the move - but not at the expense of him not trusting you.
I find that there are certain days and certain moods that kids are more willing and able to expand their comfort zones than others. A well rested child who isn’t overstimulated will have the best chance at “unlocking” a new level.
Do what you can to not compare and just put in the time going for “risky” adventure walks that can involve plays, uncertainty and some physical moves!
I hope that helps you wrap your head around it all.
@@ThatMountainLife, wonderful answer. I'm no expert on child rearing, but I am an expert on being a former fearful child, so I'd like to offer from experience what not to do. Never tell the child he is wrong or silly or annoying or bad for being afraid. Doing so tells him that his guardians don't respect his feelings and concerns because he is too stupid to evaluate risks on his own (which is exactly the opposite lesson a child is supposed to learn from taking risks). This makes him feel even more unprotected, weak and afraid. From his perspective, as a tiny human, his fears are completely valid because he sees the risk of harm outweighs the chance of benefit. Talk to your child about his fears, explore with him the actual risks and ask him for ideas of what would make him feel safer taking the risk (such as would he feel safer riding halfway down the slide). He will absorb the respect you are showing him which will give him a sense of greater control and strength.
@@ThatMountainLife Thanks for taking the time to respond. I have noticed there are certain times and environments where he is more willing to try, and I want to capitalize on that more. When I was first a parent, I thought it would be easy to let them be themselves, but it has been harder than expected, but this is all very helpful. Thanks
@@nickjsky1 That's a good idea. I should talk to him about his fears instead of just dismissing it, and what we can do about those fears. I'll try that next time something like this comes up!