Especially if that other choice is a blonde white woman like in Stephanie’s story, it’s a wrap! Lots of men, regardless of race, will fall over themselves when a white woman enters the room - even if she's mediocre.
@@SharonBoo0305 this is not true. Steph just isn’t checking for black men who like 4c hair. She wants a guy who wants a white woman but will magically choose her instead.
@@sketchpadangel location matters a lot too. I’m from SoCal, where this story takes place and it is true there. Asians, Latinas and White girls are at the “top” of the totem pole. The guy in this story was Latino anyway. They’re known for sticking to their own and if they do branch out, it’ll be with some White girl before anyone else.
Please don’t feel deterred about “over sharing” your stories. There are alot of us here who are YOUR niche! We love your transparency & “awkward” stories so keep them coming! Forget the hate-watchers, fake therapists & the negativity in your comments. WE are here for YOU❤️
It doesn’t matter if the psychic, the minister, your best friend, your Grandma etc tells you a particular man is for you. Never let a man tell you more than once he doesn’t want you.
@@kelligarcia312 make the first move by making and holding eye contact ONCE with a small smile. Glance away or get distracted, don't keep looking back. If he wants you, and is not a wussy, he will approach. (That's the loophole, please use it). (It will feel sensational or awkward. That's okay. You did it! You go girl. See what life holds next). Wearing girly clothes doesn't hurt either when doing these moves or out and about.
Your honesty--despite knowing that the comment section will be full of RUclips therapists diagnosing you and giving unsolicited advice--is refreshing and brave af. Thanks for sharing. I love, love, love people who can own their shit and just be who they are. Congrats on 50k, girl!!!
You may not be aware of this but you’ve changed so many women’s lives. You have changed the way we think, behave and perceive things. You’re living a footprint. Thank you for taking the leap of faith and decided to start a RUclips channel. You eloquently express yourself in such a way that I, (as an English second language speaker), understands. Happy holidays and take care ❤️
I love her videos; they are so relatable for me. It’s like having and older women giving me relationship advice and dating advice based on real experience. I love it. She really does have a way with words so much that she captures on the nuances of a certain topic. Fav channel tbh
I almost judged you harshly “girl he wasn’t interested “ I wanted to take your phone !! at the last DM you sent but I remember I’ve done stupid embarrassing things as well, I just never told anyone lol it’s been 4 yrs so hopefully your over it. Good story time
Same. Lol, I was almost getting mad at her but then remembered how thirsty I acted in the past with nonexistent self-awareness that wouldn’t come until years later. It’s crazy to realize how obvious you were vs how obviously uninterested they were. 🙃
If we, as women, politely tell a guy we only want to hang out with the group and he keeps messaging and trying to get with us, we would find it creepy.
Girrrrrrl I just paused at “You want yo food?!” I’m crying laughing. Ok let me get myself together enough to finish the video. Congrats on the 50k Boo! It’s what you deserve and more 😘
Same!!! I’m 23 and back when I was a teen I was so desperate to experience what most girls my age are so I acted desperate and kind of embarrassed myself.
When I was 16, my Dad gave me the best dating advice. He said: “What a man wants he pursues.” I’m so glad you grew from this and are clear about that. Best of luck to you.
@user-sj5ju4jb7t No, he actually gave me great advice. I’ve been married to my wonderful husband for over 13 years. When we met, he was very clear about his intentions to be in a relationship with me. His actions matched his words and we got engaged after dating for 18 months and married six months later.
@user-sj5ju4jb7t Actually, my Dad gave me great advice. I’ve been happily married for over 13 years. My husband was clear with his intentions from the start.
i did go “stephanie NOOO‼️” at the last message you sent, but thank you for sharing this story with us 😭 i know it’s hard not to do silly things when it feels like your time is “running out”
I feel you... I remember having a similar experience with not being able to find my soul mate or ultimate match. It finally came at 51.... I was like...wow I wished I found him sooner. I soon got over that though. What I know now is I needed to know my worth. I stopped searching in a way. I focused on the connection and if I felt a pull towards him. I just knew.....he chose me really fast. Sis, he will choose you....don't fret. Good women are found eventually.
I don’t want to wait for much longer. I’ve been single since the day I was born. I’m 24 now. I’m ready to be loved and to love. If I have to wait 3 more decades, I don’t know what I will do. I’ll honest stop even being open to the idea.
@@rosedalinevaletine6931 You are pretty young.... Honestly, learn about what you want and understand your worth. That’s something I really had to overcome. I finally got there on my late 30’s.... It really shouldn’t take that long though.
This one was intense and definitely took alot of courage to share not gonna lie I felt some second hand embarrassment listening. But I get dating can be really rough and even make you look at yourself differently, I feel as black women, we are constantly told we're not the prize and that can be damaging. So seeing you grow and tell these stories, laugh and be so honest and insightful is a really healthy thing for people to see
@@WrightwayFT I never said it was a date I said dating in general is rough which is true for most people which can harm their self esteem which played a role in her acting the way she did which was doing the most but she's only human and she's taking accountability and growing everyone can benefit from doing and I love her content for showing that
@@hachij2558 I feel ya. But she treated it like a date and that turned him off. When men do this kinda stuff it comes off as creepy energy. That's what happened in this situation. He probably felt like he couldn't get a way from her that night lol
@@WrightwayFT I see what your saying, I respect that she was bold enough to shoot her shot but I think the alcohol and the oracles hyped her up and she went way too hard which she admits and she apologized for in think the real message it why are black women made to even feel they have to go that hard in the first place I think it has alot to do with society constantly telling them to arent worthy or love and protection
I think the worst thing about embarrassing experiences like this is realising how much we abandon ourselves in pursuit of something we've always been worthy of. The best thing is realising we've always been worthy. I've watched this video so many times already lol. Your storytelling is unmatched!
Your level of transparency is frightening to the masses. Everyone always has to seem like they are winning at all times.Ad I have said before, those of us who are here for you, will always remain.
Many of us have been in this situation. One time I got a ride to an event with a guy I was seriously crushing on. I thought it was going to be so lovely attending together. I genuinely thought the feelings were reciprocated. Once we got there he met another girl and forgot about me completely. He went off to eat with her and let me know when he'll be ready for the drive back. You can imagine my shock!
Girl, you’re amazing and disregard these fake therapists in the comments section. People try really hard to feel superior and better then others meanwhile they have their own internal issues they need to address so they can go somewhere.
As a former chaser, this story made me cringey 😣 but it reminded me of how I couldn’t take the No that was right in front of me. I’ve grown and healed A LOT and the biggest thing I’ve learned is to be present and watch/feel what is actually happening, not try to project (positive or negative) what I want…and like you said, to give things time to play out.
Can’t tell you how happy this single girl was when I saw that I get to listen to you tell another story. So relatable, funny, and touching. You are the best storyteller, thank you! Can’t wait to hear more.
Your storytelling skills is unmatched ! Lol in Jamaica we would call you a Yamhead . The truth is Stephanie we have all done things that when we look back we feel completely feel stupid . I love that you are so open and that’s what makes you relatable . I don’t do psychic because of my beliefs ( not judging you ) but I’m definitely the girl that would go on Quora , Reddit and RUclips for answers lol . Keep being you , keep being real ! This is my fav channel since your pretty privilege video
Dwl. I like steph & i wish she would get some self esteem. She’s a lot cuter than she thinks. However, she reeks of low self esteem. & I believe men smell it. She always talks badly about her looks but in my experience you don’t have to be a barbie doll. I am short, chubby & tun foot & the amount of men that like me is insane. I think if she worked on her self esteem & stopped being so meloncohly a lot more people would be interested
This story is so personal to me. Growing up in the suburbs and constantly being overlooked because there’s a blonde Skipper Doll in the room really messed up my confidence growing up. I didn’t feel pretty but in reality I just wasn’t white. It’s one of those things you have to experience to really understand. It’s taken years for me to understand some of the interactions I experienced….it does get better for anyone who has felt the same way.
I paused this video so many times, trying to prepare myself for your next sentence. It never worked, lol. However, I like the takeaway you had at the end. Our timing isn’t best; God’s is.
Honestly, I think this is the kind of tea that could make me give up coffee. Seriously, I am an avid reader because I'm low-key nosey as fuck, and this is 100x better than fiction. I am sorry that you have had such insane experiences with people, but will definitely be here to listen to anything you're itching to tell. Congrats on the 50k!
What's are you reading now in the fiction genres? I need some recommendations and we seem like we might have similar taste based on your comment. Lol I fell off fiction and into a self help and biographical sink hole. I want some fantasy/fiction again.
@@chaosswa-ee-ty5911 Sadly, I am in a dry spell at the moment. I been rereading old favorites to fill the void. However, if you give me some more information on things you like, I will gladly offer recommendations.
@@tris5602 I’m not sure if you’ll respond but I love to read and I’m in a dry spell for new good books. If you have any recommendations for Sci-fi books I’d appreciate it.
Everyone has been in a situation like this but they will never been as brave and open as you are. Steph you are definitely not alone. Thanks for this story☺️
This woman had to have grown up around and socialized with majority white (or atleast non black women) just based on her insecurities… I’m not trying to imply that BW don’t have insecurities (every individual has them) but it’s just something about growing up feeling like the minority in your “circle” & your surroundings …Idk…I once read something about how valuable it is for BW to have good black friends in their lives and just hearing her stories and outlooks on life make me realize just how important this truly is…
Not you grabbed his plate from the microwave and tried to give it to him! Lmao. Yeahh I too have tried a little too hard for a guy who CLEARLY was not interested. Man.. the stories I could tell. Thank you for sharing! I had a couple of good laughs out of this one.
@@Affectionately-Jayee omg, I have none 😳. Got so used to being rejected from an early age, that I never tried too hard 😂. Go ahead Jayee. Won't laugh, promise 😁
That poor man. If a guy was acting this way towards me, I would have been so uncomfortable and honestly pissed! Definitely brave of you for telling this story.... my second-hand embarrassment is through the roof 😳 Yikes
The time to leave was when the blond appeared and he made room for her next to him. I would have graciously excused myself from the gathering, explaining that I had another engagement. In fact, have done exactly that. If the guy is interested after you’ve made such an abrupt departure, he will track you down and explain.
@@m.s9146 I agree, but I actually think the time to leave was long before that...(🚩#1): They met at the World Series party, and she admitted that she didn't feel like he was especially attracted to her... Now, it would've been nice for her to leave it at that, but I'm not gonna shame her for sending him a message just to make it clear to him that she was interested... (🚩#2): she DM'd him a coffee date invite, and he's like "I'm sure we'll see each other again if Sarah has another get-together... This is where she should've let it go 😫... If you're already not receiving attraction vibes from the man from meeting #1, and then you have the non-attraction 👉🏾CONFIRMED👈🏾 in the form of a curved date invite, pleeeeeease care more about protecting your own heart, and gracefully walk away!!! 😩... The sad thing is, that if she had chilled out earlier on, they possibly could've connected more organically... This video had me shook 🤦🏾♀️
@@tamarastuart9904 My thoughts exactly. She could've had a chance if she let things happen organically. Not everyone is going to like you the first time you meet them. She was putting too much pressure on the situation because she felt this was guaranteed when she was in reality only told there was potential.
I’m just going to be honest here… as I listened to this story, all I could think was: “are you well?” When men try to pursue me like that, after I have made it very clear that I’m uninterested, I get very uncomfortable and it makes me feel unsafe. We have to check ourselves and respect other people’s boundaries and their free will. We cannot force someone to be romantically interested in us, or try manipulate shared spaces to leverage our romantic goals. This may sound harsh, but I can’t imagine how he felt. It was giving borderline obsession. Please don’t take too much offense, if any, from my commentary. I just wanted to be frank. Be well.
Finally a genuine answer 🤣. I'm gonna be brutally honest, if up to 12 hrs ago I was to go to a party, and some days later a woman from said party had messaged me asking to have a coffee together, I'd have accepted without wondering how on earth she got my contacts. Why not? Now I'm not so sure 🤣
Was looking for a comment, like this one, that accurately can perhaps give Stephanie a different perspective so she can grow as a person. I’ve had what happened to this guy, happen to me. I went to a party and this girl would flirt and flirt with me and would do everything possible to get my attention. I would do everything I could, without being rude, to avoid her. A week later, she sent me a text out of nowhere saying she got my number from one of my friends and that she apologized for being weird, but, it was cause she had a crush on me, and that we should maybe go grab a coffee one day. I didn’t respond. A few days later, she sent a message to me that she happens to be in my area, and if I wouldn’t mind meeting up for some drinks. I was at home in my pyjamas and was shocked that someone could be so bold. No response. I didn’t want to go out. Ten minutes later someone tried to buzz my apartment number and kept buzzing me and buzzing me. I wasn’t expecting anybody. So, I didn’t pick up. Ten minutes later, I got a text from that girl, that she just finished hanging out with her friends and that she is now free. No response. Twenty minutes later, I left my apartment to get something to eat. Upon hitting the concierge area, I saw her at the entrance of my apartment. I quickly reverted and headed back to elevator and used stairs instead to avoid her. I still didn’t respond to her messages. I went on an hour long walk instead and when I went back to my apartment, she was gone. But, the concierge told me that there was a girl that kept on insisting to see me and that she was very bullying towards them in regards to being buzzed up to my floor. They told her that they couldn’t do that and I told conceirge that they did the right thing. Anyways, after hearing Steph’s story, I can’t help but think that maybe this girl was also into taro card readings. Hence, her aggressive stance to her pursuit of me. My advise to any girl reading this, is to respect people’s boundaries. I didn’t like Steph’s entitlement to this guy romantically where you kept forcing the situation. All the messages praising your behaviour is possibly clouding your judgment. I love your honesty and rawness. But, I hope this past experience at least taught you to respect people’s boundaries.
I feel like as women of color we are so over analyzed, critiqued and censored/silenced. There are plenty of youtubers out there "coming out" or being vulnerable in so many ways and you are just sharing parts of you, you think can help others. Don't carry other people's shame or burden! And don't feel the need to defend ur thoughts! here for a sis.
Thank you, Everyone in the common section is acting like they are always the perfect person Who did the right thing in every single story of their life. Which is just a lie. Internet can bring out the worst of people make them forget who they really are.
" You make the decisions that make the most sense for your reality" your videos are so insightful and relatable - congrats on your subscribers and to many more in the future!
Exactly it's one thing if you have lots of guys in ur DMS but it's another thing when ure reality is dry and your romantic life is non existent and you're just hoping in one person . Steph keeps it real
The amount of times I said "OMG" while listening to this video. A severe lack of impulse control, selfawareness and the level of thirst is a huge issue but I thank you for the entertainment.
She doesn't know her value. She is playing with fire. She is lovely but needs the Lord Jesus. Clearly. Messing with psychics and the tarot is Satan's territory. I am concerned and I am lifting her up in prayer.
This is by far your cringiest story yet and I loved every second of it. Your stories are sooo much fun to listen to and I don't get tired of them. You may think opposite of me, but in my opinion you've lived such a fun, full life. Anyone who has this many stories to share is definitely living life to their fullest.
Stephanie I have several things to say my friend! 1. I’m so happy I found your channel! 2. If my nephew was older, I would try so hard to hook you guys up! 3. I’m married, have been for a long time so I’m completely out of the loop with dating. However, I enjoy your perspective because I have young adult daughters and not one person in my small circle with kiddos that are the same age as mine…what you give me in these videos are gems I can share with my daughters. 4. I really hope that your guy will FIND YOU soon….you are beautiful, smart and so transparent….any man would be blessed to have you! 5. Please continue to give us story time!
Boy oh boy, I do wish your Storytimes were not so entertaining, heart-breaking and make me want to cringe myself to the center of the Earth, unfortunately, I did know where this story was going, only I thought either his wife or a girlfriend would show up to the Friendsgiving. I have battle scars too and my own share of cringe, the one thing I do have going for me, is that, unless a guy is practically holding up a sign, which reads, "I'm interested in you", I don't pursue, my ego will not allow it, however, this hasn't made me immune to some appalling treatment from men. Thanks for sharing Steph.
There is so much vulnerability, beauty and power in you telling this story. It's so rare for black women to tell stories like this in a public forum, and I'm glad you're doing it.
honestly i could listen to your story times all day. one day i’ll start a youtube channel and touch on topics similar to yours because i’m inspired. thank you for sharing it’s really appreciated!!
I think the most unfortunate thing about your story was that the psychics planted the idea in your to single him out. He didn't stand out to you at all till you heard about his college major. Thanks for sharing
Yeah, I remember around 2014, all of a sudden various people I knew were talking about visiting this "psychic" woman. I was confused as to how this craze suddenly started (at the time). The woman in question charged £50-£70 per session, and if you called for an appointment, you'd need to book 3-6 months in advance because she was fully booked 😳. I even considered booking an appointment (for a laugh), but then I came to my senses, lol! I remember a colleague of mine went to see her and she was told that she would get married within 3yrs. She even described the type of wedding dress that she would wear. But I can't remember if she described the type of man that she would meet. A few months later, she rekindled a friendship with a man who she was friends with prior to her (failed) marriage. They quickly became more than friends. The only thing was that she would only see him every other weekend (due to "travelling for work"). Seemed fishy to me. My colleague gained some extra cash from selling her house and he speeched her into giving that money to him to invest in some "sure fire investment". She never saw him again after that. And to put icing on the cake, she found out that he was married with kids (from social media). She was left with no money and had to live with her sister
Once when I was in the 9th grade there was this Latina guy i would always see at the end of the day bc our classes were right next to each other. He was so cute to me I just knew I had to talk to him. So after a couple weeks of following close behind him after class let out in the hopes that he would give me the slightest slither of attention I finally gathered up the bravery to talk to him. Lol I stopped this guy in the middle of the busy stairwell while all the other kids were shoving past trying to make it to their busses on time and said something along the lines of “hi.. what’s your name?… I’m (also) Stephanie.. and I think you’re really cute can we text sometimes” it was my first time ever approaching a guy first, he let me down in the kindest most gentle way possible, he wasn’t mean or rude actually super sweet about it but it still hurt and embarrassed the hell out of me. At my young age of 15 I swore from that day on I will never approach a guy first ever again. Side note: within the following weeks he had suddenly grew an interest in me and would try talking to me in the hallways and asked for my number and even invited me to come sit with him at lunch one time but I always declined or avoided him bc I was still just too sore from the initial rejection. I was never mean I always gave him the same super sweet and gentle rejection he had given me but i was just no longer interested.
Girl let me tell you what you avoided. So I essentially had the same thing in highschool except the guy would flirt back but never seal the deal. Then one day he was walking down the hall with someone else. Yes got a whole gf and ignored me. Then later that year after she cheated on him he asked me out. I felt finally chosen. I was so low back then lol. 7 years later of pure toxic bs I think we are finally done. It hasn't been easy to quit because I've been so desperate for stable love... But yeah girl good job with turning him down because he was only interested after his first choice wasn't.
Why shouldn't women approach guys first? Makes no sense to me. Some guys are naturally shy, and others made shy by all the times we got rejected. Our success rate when asking a girl out is so low, especially at a young age, that some give up on romance till adulthood. If anything, I'd rather have a woman walk up to me and clearly stating her interest than finding her there whenever I turn around, sending signals and things like that. That's odd lol
You can approach, just don’t make it about a) being attracted to him, b) liking him romantically, c) and wanting his number Definitely not in the first interaction Find something to talk about that you guys have in common, exchange a few sentences back and forth, establish a connection. Then after that, either one can ask for contact information. In your case being in a crowded hall I would just say hi to them every day until you both were familiar with each other and then try to start a conversation one day. It’s that simple. We need to go back to seeing each other as friends and approaching as friends. I admire your bravery though, I could never talk to guys in grade school. When I started in college I made the same mistakes
This is why I can't do tarrot cards or psychic stuff when it comes to relationships and love. It makes me more anxious lol. I just feel like it adds a jinx that doesn't need to be there. I start to overthink my connections based on the details from psychic readings etc. I learned that things come when they come, it should be a natural process. But that's just how I function. Love your dating stories, more please!
I know 2 people who worked for psychic networks. For extra cash in college.. they away it's mainly desperate women looking for love, people wanting know lotto picks, or people thinking they could connect to loved ho had passed on.
Omg.. this was a tough one to get through lol. I cringed so many times through this story. I'm glad we're past this.. We are.. past this.. right? You're worth so much more than this! I wish you could see yourself the way we see you.
Pause: the face you made in the camera when you took the plate to him is the face I made when I looked away from my cooking to look at you 😅🤣. Sis, you have a great sense of humor and know how to tell a story. Thank you for sharing. Your play aunty has visited that neighborhood too 🙄 😅 OK, back to the video.
The moment you said you took out his plate from the microwave..i had to pause the video. Catch my breath. Send some sugar to your younger self (and mine) . Eish! The things we do for lurv.
Question: " What did he do to SHOW and PROVE to you that u love him?? That right there is the problem. And to hear u still keep his messages is a sign that there is still work to be done.
Again another video/ story that is relatable. Your life experiences in the dating world could be a movie or tv show at this point. My dating life was similar to this. Watching you look at everything in hindsight is refreshing honestly. I used to go by a coworkers desk just to spark up a conversation with him, but it was obvious that he liked someone else. I even did this in school and at a another job lol my Leo ascending is strong when it comes to me making sure I get what I want, but in the dating world it didn't tend to go my way. Btw you look amazing 💜😊
"You want your food?" Can I quietly laugh out loud at work?!! Your advice is the one my mother has always given. Daddy chased her. Thank you for sharing.
Your dating story times is why I’m subscribed to your channel. You are really honest and extremely transparent. Do not think you are over sharing . Also your dating story times always have the highest views. That means that’s what people are really interested in! Don’t know how you got the idea that if you keep telling them you would lose subscribers lol
you make me feel normal😂😂steph, you aren't alone in the having weird interactions with guys, we all have had them, you just have the courage to talk about them
Also, the fact that there are time stamps. I feel thought of and appreciated. You appreciate my time and have presented theoretical me (all of us watchers) with a nice package with a bow. Thank you. Your work is appreciated and valued.
My God! The torture some women subject themselves to, just to grab a man. Is any man worth that level of self-dishonor and humiliation? I think not, at least not in my books.
The way she explains her vunerablity is sooo not ina way asking for pity but just openly honest i’m definitely taking notes. Steph your channel is very much appreciated 💕‼️
I feel psychics are full of crap. I did this once. Desperately pursued a guy named Ryan because the psychic pulled a name out of her butt saying I was going to marry a guy named Ryan or Bryan. I met a Ryan a few months later and really tried to pursue him and he was either clueless or not into me but it did not work out and then I was really really disappointed and depressed. Decided its better to not know anything and meet people organically and just see where it goes rather than have someone assure me that this is the person I'll marry because then that just makes me act crazy desperate and that turns the person off.
This was a great storytime. This reminds me so much of a situation I was in when the guy was giving me clear signs he wasn't interested and I just blocked it out and continued to pursue him. Looking back on it, it was obvious but in the moment it's so hard to see past what you want.
You are such a wonderful person Steph. Sometimes I listen to your videos as I am going to sleep because you just sound like a very wise best friend and your voice is comforting. You are so beautiful and so special, I love watching every single one of your videos!!
You are so wonderfully transparent and ACCOUNTABLE. It is an awesome calling for you to use your channel, teaching women to be accountable for their choices through your experiences! So cool.
Girl were here for your "oversharing" you do it tastefully, they are a celebrity couple it is so different when they do it and I get annoyed too lol You dear have nothing to worry about . I'm here for it !!❤
You look so beautiful! The hair and the lip colour work perfectly for you, you've had a glow up. Your videos bring me so much joy and I always re watch them. Never stop being you and don't tone your personality down for anyone! Please can you do a video on weight/body image and a fashion haul for 2022?
Sis you are still super young. I’m not saying we should be sitting around hoping and wishing but you don’t have one leg in the grave either. Be at peace enjoying your life and your hearts desire can and will come to you. Lord knows I understand why you declare your dating life is over; it’s a form of copping with the disappointment of your missed expectations. Just know that everyone’s story is different and timing is everything. Back then- you weren’t ready. Just stay focused on loving on yourself and following your dreams and stay open. He will show up when you least expect it.
This would be a great episode of a great comedy. It's the physic parts of the story that is just amazing. Amazing in the best way you my friend are a great storyteller and a gem to these yt streets ❤
Congratulations on the subs. And your willingness to admit that you were banned by a psychic hotline. Your stories are so relatable, even if not in the specifics, we've all had our moments of borderline behavior. Out of curiosity, did you ever have a good girlfriend to run these interactions by?
You can have good girlfriends, but if they’re not into tarot astrology stuff it’s beyond them at that point. You can’t meaningfully intervene with someone in this deep
Steph I so appreciate you. I have literally been so awkward and embarrassing in DMS/texts, so it's really refreshing to see another black woman with no game 🤣 Please believe in yourself because there are so many of us out here that see and relate with you 💖
I asked my crush out, he agreed enthusiastically and then I found out he was gay... 💀💔 I've been laughing and crying for 3 days, but we're okay friends ig
This sounds like something Joan from Girlfriends would do 😂! But im glad you can look back and realize where you went wrong. You were optimistic and took a chance.
I don't get how you have such terrible luck with men and dating. You're beautiful with a great personality. It must be the men... men are lame lol. Thanks for this story time, Steph. Don't hesitate to tell stories. We're here for you!
I know you say "its the mens fault" in gest, i hope. But as a guy who also suffered from lackluster dating life I had to realize I was doing things wrong. It wouldve been dumb if i blamed all women. This is not referring to Steph's life because I dont know her.
@@ramalellison9205 Yes, I was totally joking! I've been following Steph long enough to know she's not blameless AT ALL! Sis was a hot mess (like a lot of us were) in some of the stories she has shared, including this one. Oof. But ofc we live and learn. The Steph we now see on yt is reflective and self-aware and appears to have grown tremendously.
I know a lot of people are saying ughhh how embarrassing I would’ve been so embarrassed. Why though? Everyone gets rejected some way some how at some point in their lives. I applaud her giving it her all and not giving up on what she thought was for her. We will all do that with something at some point. At least you gave it a shot. No need to feel embarrassed. Also a lot of men do this all of the time go through the same rejections and sometimes in the end they get what they wanted. And when then don’t? On to the next one no embarrassment !
The desperation force is strong with this one. You get emotionally involved so fast. Even after he explicitly told you he didn't want you. This is all on you. I'm glad you are no longer in that place.
Entertaining. 35 was my second deadline so now it's like whatever. Im glad you can reflect and see your mistakes. If a guy is interested you really dont have to wonder or extend your hand for him to notice. But i can understand why you felt like you had to latch on to a possibilty.
![[#2024MAMA] ROSÉ (로제), Bruno Mars - APT. | Mnet 241122 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dgGqD28J6aQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Best dating advice: 1. if he likes you you’ll know, if he doesn’t you’ll be confused 2.Marry reality not potential.
🙏 THIS all day!
Wow. Beautifully said.
Yes girl
Bingo 🎯
Agreed
Whenever you say a story is embarrassing I'm like oh girl it's not that bad, and then you do something really wild and my soul leaves my body 😭😂
Every single time 😂
lmfao
Meh. Yall should hear my embarrassing shit.
!!!!! literally like omg
😩🥴😂😂
My moma told me “Never let a man tell you more than once that he don’t want you”
That's true because then the woman is stalking.
Right. :/
I also say that as well
YES
I never, and never will let that happen to me.
"He had choices and he didn't choose you." Such a tough pill to swallow but the sooner we can simply accept this truth and move on, the better.
Especially if that other choice is a blonde white woman like in Stephanie’s story, it’s a wrap! Lots of men, regardless of race, will fall over themselves when a white woman enters the room - even if she's mediocre.
@@SharonBoo0305 The absolute truth. I’m dealing w/ this rn 😭
Facts!
@@SharonBoo0305 this is not true. Steph just isn’t checking for black men who like 4c hair. She wants a guy who wants a white woman but will magically choose her instead.
@@sketchpadangel location matters a lot too. I’m from SoCal, where this story takes place and it is true there. Asians, Latinas and White girls are at the “top” of the totem pole. The guy in this story was Latino anyway. They’re known for sticking to their own and if they do branch out, it’ll be with some White girl before anyone else.
Please don’t feel deterred about “over sharing” your stories. There are alot of us here who are YOUR niche! We love your transparency & “awkward” stories so keep them coming! Forget the hate-watchers, fake therapists & the negativity in your comments. WE are here for YOU❤️
A-greed!!! 💯💯💯
100
Seriously!
I love knowing people’s business 😅
Yeah! I always find myself coming back and watching your videos.
The world is full of hate, but keep on moving.
It doesn’t matter if the psychic, the minister, your best friend, your Grandma etc tells you a particular man is for you. Never let a man tell you more than once he doesn’t want you.
💯 and never ever approach him first or make the first move.
@@kelligarcia312 make the first move by making and holding eye contact ONCE with a small smile.
Glance away or get distracted, don't keep looking back.
If he wants you, and is not a wussy, he will approach. (That's the loophole, please use it).
(It will feel sensational or awkward. That's okay. You did it! You go girl. See what life holds next). Wearing girly clothes doesn't hurt either when doing these moves or out and about.
@@keyonnahgray8200 totally agree, but I am married lol but yes everything you said!!
@@kelligarcia312 thanks, and that sounds Bien and grand advice!
I'm married, but yes! All of the above!
Your honesty--despite knowing that the comment section will be full of RUclips therapists diagnosing you and giving unsolicited advice--is refreshing and brave af. Thanks for sharing. I love, love, love people who can own their shit and just be who they are. Congrats on 50k, girl!!!
You may not be aware of this but you’ve changed so many women’s lives. You have changed the way we think, behave and perceive things. You’re living a footprint. Thank you for taking the leap of faith and decided to start a RUclips channel. You eloquently express yourself in such a way that I, (as an English second language speaker), understands. Happy holidays and take care ❤️
yeah she actually gets talked about by other people on channels. she’s so interesting i LIVE for her !!
This comment.... So true.
I love her videos; they are so relatable for me. It’s like having and older women giving me relationship advice and dating advice based on real experience. I love it. She really does have a way with words so much that she captures on the nuances of a certain topic. Fav channel tbh
I almost judged you harshly “girl he wasn’t interested “ I wanted to take your phone !! at the last DM you sent but I remember I’ve done stupid embarrassing things as well, I just never told anyone lol it’s been 4 yrs so hopefully your over it. Good story time
Same. Lol, I was almost getting mad at her but then remembered how thirsty I acted in the past with nonexistent self-awareness that wouldn’t come until years later. It’s crazy to realize how obvious you were vs how obviously uninterested they were. 🙃
Right we've all been there... especially when we feel we got a sign from God that they are the one ..oh well lol
We all have thats why we cant judge.
If we, as women, politely tell a guy we only want to hang out with the group and he keeps messaging and trying to get with us, we would find it creepy.
Girrrrrrl I just paused at “You want yo food?!” I’m crying laughing. Ok let me get myself together enough to finish the video. Congrats on the 50k Boo! It’s what you deserve and more 😘
This had me cackling
I had to pause there too 😭
🤣🤣
I was deceased ⚰️
I’m laughing so hard I’m about to pee on myself because she keeps a straight face
Gonna be honest here, this one made me cry. Why? Because I too have been this girl. Thank you for sharing as always.
Same!!! I’m 23 and back when I was a teen I was so desperate to experience what most girls my age are so I acted desperate and kind of embarrassed myself.
:( same
I have SO been this girl. 🥲 Stephanie is so brave to share her truth. ❤️
me too!
Same here
When I was 16, my Dad gave me the best dating advice. He said: “What a man wants he pursues.”
I’m so glad you grew from this and are clear about that. Best of luck to you.
Based off of this, no guy has ever wanted me. Some men online claim that they're "just shy" but I feel like its BS.
My dad too💯👍🏻
@user-sj5ju4jb7t No, he actually gave me great advice. I’ve been married to my wonderful husband for over 13 years. When we met, he was very clear about his intentions to be in a relationship with me. His actions matched his words and we got engaged after dating for 18 months and married six months later.
@user-sj5ju4jb7t Actually, my Dad gave me great advice. I’ve been happily married for over 13 years. My husband was clear with his intentions from the start.
i did go “stephanie NOOO‼️” at the last message you sent, but thank you for sharing this story with us 😭 i know it’s hard not to do silly things when it feels like your time is “running out”
Are you the guy??
Lol I said the same thing. I was like “oh no it’s gunna get worse” lol at the second message.
Omg, same. Like, the flashbacks!😖
Desperation cause people to do ridiculous things
I feel you... I remember having a similar experience with not being able to find my soul mate or ultimate match. It finally came at 51.... I was like...wow I wished I found him sooner. I soon got over that though. What I know now is I needed to know my worth. I stopped searching in a way. I focused on the connection and if I felt a pull towards him. I just knew.....he chose me really fast. Sis, he will choose you....don't fret. Good women are found eventually.
What a beautiful comment. Life is very tricky , when we let go and just do what’s right in front of us peace and blessings are right in the present 😉.
@@iamwhole8910 Exactly.....he was literally in front of me the whole time to....lol
I’m so happy for you! 💗💗
I don’t want to wait for much longer. I’ve been single since the day I was born. I’m 24 now. I’m ready to be loved and to love. If I have to wait 3 more decades, I don’t know what I will do. I’ll honest stop even being open to the idea.
@@rosedalinevaletine6931 You are pretty young.... Honestly, learn about what you want and understand your worth. That’s something I really had to overcome. I finally got there on my late 30’s.... It really shouldn’t take that long though.
We love your dating stories. I even learn a lot from them as a man on how to deal with women in the future.
That’s good to hear from a man
Respect!
That is so Sweet!
Aww, Aren't you sweet?
Aww so sweet!
This one was intense and definitely took alot of courage to share not gonna lie I felt some second hand embarrassment listening. But I get dating can be really rough and even make you look at yourself differently, I feel as black women, we are constantly told we're not the prize and that can be damaging. So seeing you grow and tell these stories, laugh and be so honest and insightful is a really healthy thing for people to see
the second hand embarrassment is sooooo strong!!!!
It wasn't a date tho. That's why it got cringy lol she was doing to much
@@WrightwayFT I never said it was a date I said dating in general is rough which is true for most people which can harm their self esteem which played a role in her acting the way she did which was doing the most but she's only human and she's taking accountability and growing everyone can benefit from doing and I love her content for showing that
@@hachij2558 I feel ya. But she treated it like a date and that turned him off. When men do this kinda stuff it comes off as creepy energy. That's what happened in this situation. He probably felt like he couldn't get a way from her that night lol
@@WrightwayFT I see what your saying, I respect that she was bold enough to shoot her shot but I think the alcohol and the oracles hyped her up and she went way too hard which she admits and she apologized for in think the real message it why are black women made to even feel they have to go that hard in the first place I think it has alot to do with society constantly telling them to arent worthy or love and protection
I think the worst thing about embarrassing experiences like this is realising how much we abandon ourselves in pursuit of something we've always been worthy of. The best thing is realising we've always been worthy.
I've watched this video so many times already lol. Your storytelling is unmatched!
Golden comment right here
love this comment ❤️🔥
Your level of transparency is frightening to the masses. Everyone always has to seem like they are winning at all times.Ad I have said before, those of us who are here for you, will always remain.
Many of us have been in this situation. One time I got a ride to an event with a guy I was seriously crushing on. I thought it was going to be so lovely attending together. I genuinely thought the feelings were reciprocated. Once we got there he met another girl and forgot about me completely. He went off to eat with her and let me know when he'll be ready for the drive back. You can imagine my shock!
Wow that’s rude as hell!
UGHHH what an asshole - the other girl will get sick of him
Can so relate Mary
Love it when guys like this get old and run out of women to ‘sift’ through. 😎👌🏽💨
YOOOOOOOOO! WTF?! hell naw.
Please delete the texts girl, no matter how funny they are ♥️
Girl, you’re amazing and disregard these fake therapists in the comments section. People try really hard to feel superior and better then others meanwhile they have their own internal issues they need to address so they can go somewhere.
Yep, if he wanted to, he would. It really is as simple as that.
Preach 🙌🏾
As a former chaser, this story made me cringey 😣 but it reminded me of how I couldn’t take the No that was right in front of me. I’ve grown and healed A LOT and the biggest thing I’ve learned is to be present and watch/feel what is actually happening, not try to project (positive or negative) what I want…and like you said, to give things time to play out.
ur honesty is literally so f*cking refreshing pls know that as an audience we value it so much
I'm cracking up about the fact there's a petition to stop will and jada sharing, that's hilarious!
Where do I sign? 😂😂😂
Right??? I am surprised that under Will's pic, no one has hashtagged " if over sharing was a person,"
Can’t tell you how happy this single girl was when I saw that I get to listen to you tell another story. So relatable, funny, and touching. You are the best storyteller, thank you! Can’t wait to hear more.
Girllll this was the first story I got second hand embarrassment. You're transparency and storytelling skills are out of this world. Love ya!
Your storytelling skills is unmatched ! Lol in Jamaica we would call you a Yamhead . The truth is Stephanie we have all done things that when we look back we feel completely feel stupid . I love that you are so open and that’s what makes you relatable . I don’t do psychic because of my beliefs ( not judging you ) but I’m definitely the girl that would go on Quora , Reddit and RUclips for answers lol . Keep being you , keep being real ! This is my fav channel since your pretty privilege video
Yamabella she name man 😭but absolutely love her same way.
Dwl. I like steph & i wish she would get some self esteem. She’s a lot cuter than she thinks. However, she reeks of low self esteem. & I believe men smell it. She always talks badly about her looks but in my experience you don’t have to be a barbie doll. I am short, chubby & tun foot & the amount of men that like me is insane. I think if she worked on her self esteem & stopped being so meloncohly a lot more people would be interested
This story is so personal to me. Growing up in the suburbs and constantly being overlooked because there’s a blonde Skipper Doll in the room really messed up my confidence growing up. I didn’t feel pretty but in reality I just wasn’t white. It’s one of those things you have to experience to really understand. It’s taken years for me to understand some of the interactions I experienced….it does get better for anyone who has felt the same way.
I paused this video so many times, trying to prepare myself for your next sentence. It never worked, lol. However, I like the takeaway you had at the end. Our timing isn’t best; God’s is.
Definitely hard to watch but brave to share
This is my favorite storytime of yours. So glad you unprivated it!
Honestly, I think this is the kind of tea that could make me give up coffee. Seriously, I am an avid reader because I'm low-key nosey as fuck, and this is 100x better than fiction. I am sorry that you have had such insane experiences with people, but will definitely be here to listen to anything you're itching to tell.
Congrats on the 50k!
What's are you reading now in the fiction genres? I need some recommendations and we seem like we might have similar taste based on your comment. Lol I fell off fiction and into a self help and biographical sink hole. I want some fantasy/fiction again.
@@chaosswa-ee-ty5911 Sadly, I am in a dry spell at the moment. I been rereading old favorites to fill the void. However, if you give me some more information on things you like, I will gladly offer recommendations.
@@chaosswa-ee-ty5911 A song of wraiths and ruin?
@@tris5602 I’m not sure if you’ll respond but I love to read and I’m in a dry spell for new good books. If you have any recommendations for Sci-fi books I’d appreciate it.
@@nonnieJ94 If you haven't read the Red Rising Trilogy by Pierce Brown, I HIGHLY recommend it.
You should write these into a tv series.
Everyone has been in a situation like this but they will never been as brave and open as you are. Steph you are definitely not alone. Thanks for this story☺️
This woman had to have grown up around and socialized with majority white (or atleast non black women) just based on her insecurities… I’m not trying to imply that BW don’t have insecurities (every individual has them) but it’s just something about growing up feeling like the minority in your “circle” & your surroundings …Idk…I once read something about how valuable it is for BW to have good black friends in their lives and just hearing her stories and outlooks on life make me realize just how important this truly is…
it's something we can't help though, especially when it's based on where our family lives
Not you grabbed his plate from the microwave and tried to give it to him! Lmao. Yeahh I too have tried a little too hard for a guy who CLEARLY was not interested. Man.. the stories I could tell. Thank you for sharing! I had a couple of good laughs out of this one.
Now you've got to tell the stories 🤣
@@gnonsian2464 For y’all to laugh at my pain?! 💀 I think not! Lmao you tell one & then I’ll tell one! 🤣
@@Affectionately-Jayee omg, I have none 😳. Got so used to being rejected from an early age, that I never tried too hard 😂. Go ahead Jayee. Won't laugh, promise 😁
I legit had to skip some parts. Wow, wow, wow. Hella brave to tell this story; but it does give me perspective. Thanks
That poor man. If a guy was acting this way towards me, I would have been so uncomfortable and honestly pissed! Definitely brave of you for telling this story.... my second-hand embarrassment is through the roof 😳 Yikes
The time to leave was when the blond appeared and he made room for her next to him. I would have graciously excused myself from the gathering, explaining that I had another engagement. In fact, have done exactly that. If the guy is interested after you’ve made such an abrupt departure, he will track you down and explain.
@@m.s9146 I agree, but I actually think the time to leave was long before that...(🚩#1): They met at the World Series party, and she admitted that she didn't feel like he was especially attracted to her... Now, it would've been nice for her to leave it at that, but I'm not gonna shame her for sending him a message just to make it clear to him that she was interested... (🚩#2): she DM'd him a coffee date invite, and he's like "I'm sure we'll see each other again if Sarah has another get-together... This is where she should've let it go 😫... If you're already not receiving attraction vibes from the man from meeting #1, and then you have the non-attraction 👉🏾CONFIRMED👈🏾 in the form of a curved date invite, pleeeeeease care more about protecting your own heart, and gracefully walk away!!! 😩... The sad thing is, that if she had chilled out earlier on, they possibly could've connected more organically... This video had me shook 🤦🏾♀️
@@tamarastuart9904 My thoughts exactly. She could've had a chance if she let things happen organically. Not everyone is going to like you the first time you meet them. She was putting too much pressure on the situation because she felt this was guaranteed when she was in reality only told there was potential.
Self esteem is a funny thing: either you have it, or you don't. Glad there's been MUCH growth since this story!
I’m just going to be honest here… as I listened to this story, all I could think was: “are you well?”
When men try to pursue me like that, after I have made it very clear that I’m uninterested, I get very uncomfortable and it makes me feel unsafe.
We have to check ourselves and respect other people’s boundaries and their free will. We cannot force someone to be romantically interested in us, or try manipulate shared spaces to leverage our romantic goals.
This may sound harsh, but I can’t imagine how he felt. It was giving borderline obsession.
Please don’t take too much offense, if any, from my commentary. I just wanted to be frank. Be well.
Finally a genuine answer 🤣. I'm gonna be brutally honest, if up to 12 hrs ago I was to go to a party, and some days later a woman from said party had messaged me asking to have a coffee together, I'd have accepted without wondering how on earth she got my contacts. Why not? Now I'm not so sure 🤣
Yes for real! I hope she sees your comment
Was looking for a comment, like this one, that accurately can perhaps give Stephanie a different perspective so she can grow as a person. I’ve had what happened to this guy, happen to me. I went to a party and this girl would flirt and flirt with me and would do everything possible to get my attention. I would do everything I could, without being rude, to avoid her. A week later, she sent me a text out of nowhere saying she got my number from one of my friends and that she apologized for being weird, but, it was cause she had a crush on me, and that we should maybe go grab a coffee one day. I didn’t respond. A few days later, she sent a message to me that she happens to be in my area, and if I wouldn’t mind meeting up for some drinks. I was at home in my pyjamas and was shocked that someone could be so bold. No response. I didn’t want to go out. Ten minutes later someone tried to buzz my apartment number and kept buzzing me and buzzing me. I wasn’t expecting anybody. So, I didn’t pick up. Ten minutes later, I got a text from that girl, that she just finished hanging out with her friends and that she is now free. No response. Twenty minutes later, I left my apartment to get something to eat. Upon hitting the concierge area, I saw her at the entrance of my apartment. I quickly reverted and headed back to elevator and used stairs instead to avoid her. I still didn’t respond to her messages. I went on an hour long walk instead and when I went back to my apartment, she was gone. But, the concierge told me that there was a girl that kept on insisting to see me and that she was very bullying towards them in regards to being buzzed up to my floor. They told her that they couldn’t do that and I told conceirge that they did the right thing. Anyways, after hearing Steph’s story, I can’t help but think that maybe this girl was also into taro card readings. Hence, her aggressive stance to her pursuit of me. My advise to any girl reading this, is to respect people’s boundaries. I didn’t like Steph’s entitlement to this guy romantically where you kept forcing the situation. All the messages praising your behaviour is possibly clouding your judgment. I love your honesty and rawness. But, I hope this past experience at least taught you to respect people’s boundaries.
I have to agree.
💯
I feel like as women of color we are so over analyzed, critiqued and censored/silenced. There are plenty of youtubers out there "coming out" or being vulnerable in so many ways and you are just sharing parts of you, you think can help others. Don't carry other people's shame or burden! And don't feel the need to defend ur thoughts! here for a sis.
I agree
Thank you, Everyone in the common section is acting like they are always the perfect person Who did the right thing in every single story of their life. Which is just a lie. Internet can bring out the worst of people make them forget who they really are.
" You make the decisions that make the most sense for your reality" your videos are so insightful and relatable - congrats on your subscribers and to many more in the future!
Yes, folks often forget that everyone is living a different reality; we all may have similar experiences, its one's own reality!
Wow .this quote could save lots of people from agony.
Exactly it's one thing if you have lots of guys in ur DMS but it's another thing when ure reality is dry and your romantic life is non existent and you're just hoping in one person . Steph keeps it real
@@tishataray She always do; Stephanie's authenticity add nuance & realness to many wommen(especially BW) experiences
you're so beautiful inside and out. I appreciate how vulnerable, self aware and honest you are with us, and the stories you share.
The amount of times I said "OMG" while listening to this video. A severe lack of impulse control, selfawareness and the level of thirst is a huge issue but I thank you for the entertainment.
She doesn't know her value. She is playing with fire. She is lovely but needs the Lord Jesus. Clearly. Messing with psychics and the tarot is Satan's territory. I am concerned and I am lifting her up in prayer.
@@danilaroche1156 my dear, Jesus can’t fix low self esteem.
I wish there was a way to double-thumps up the videos that actually make me laugh out loud. This would be one! Congrats on 50K, Steph. You deserve it!
Agreed!
100💯
There is 👍🏾👍🏾😂
This is by far your cringiest story yet and I loved every second of it. Your stories are sooo much fun to listen to and I don't get tired of them. You may think opposite of me, but in my opinion you've lived such a fun, full life. Anyone who has this many stories to share is definitely living life to their fullest.
Stephanie I have several things to say my friend!
1. I’m so happy I found your channel!
2. If my nephew was older, I would try so hard to hook you guys up!
3. I’m married, have been for a long time so I’m completely out of the loop with dating. However, I enjoy your perspective because I have young adult daughters and not one person in my small circle with kiddos that are the same age as mine…what you give me in these videos are gems I can share with my daughters.
4. I really hope that your guy will FIND YOU soon….you are beautiful, smart and so transparent….any man would be blessed to have you!
5. Please continue to give us story time!
ooofff, we’ve all had super embarrassing moments tho. You’re just brave enough to release ur ego for the public .
Boy oh boy, I do wish your Storytimes were not so entertaining, heart-breaking and make me want to cringe myself to the center of the Earth, unfortunately, I did know where this story was going, only I thought either his wife or a girlfriend would show up to the Friendsgiving. I have battle scars too and my own share of cringe, the one thing I do have going for me, is that, unless a guy is practically holding up a sign, which reads, "I'm interested in you", I don't pursue, my ego will not allow it, however, this hasn't made me immune to some appalling treatment from men. Thanks for sharing Steph.
Girl when I say I needed this one. Not “You want yo food?” 😩😩😂😂🤣🤣🤣😭😭
You are so pretty! My number 1 rule is NEEEVVVEERRRR ask a man out at all. Never let him know you like him. Let him chase, make him chase.
Did it work?
@@gnonsian2464 I asked my ex out first. We were together for 5 years.
@@stacey6229 at last, someone who keeps it real. Thank you Stacey
@@gnonsian2464 this only works if you are pretty otherwise you will find yourself waiting forever.
Share your pain girl because we here for you.
There is so much vulnerability, beauty and power in you telling this story. It's so rare for black women to tell stories like this in a public forum, and I'm glad you're doing it.
honestly i could listen to your story times all day. one day i’ll start a youtube channel and touch on topics similar to yours because i’m inspired. thank you for sharing it’s really appreciated!!
I think the most unfortunate thing about your story was that the psychics planted the idea in your to single him out. He didn't stand out to you at all till you heard about his college major. Thanks for sharing
That's so true
I never knew people actually believed the physic network
Yeah, I remember around 2014, all of a sudden various people I knew were talking about visiting this "psychic" woman. I was confused as to how this craze suddenly started (at the time). The woman in question charged £50-£70 per session, and if you called for an appointment, you'd need to book 3-6 months in advance because she was fully booked 😳.
I even considered booking an appointment (for a laugh), but then I came to my senses, lol!
I remember a colleague of mine went to see her and she was told that she would get married within 3yrs. She even described the type of wedding dress that she would wear. But I can't remember if she described the type of man that she would meet. A few months later, she rekindled a friendship with a man who she was friends with prior to her (failed) marriage. They quickly became more than friends. The only thing was that she would only see him every other weekend (due to "travelling for work"). Seemed fishy to me. My colleague gained some extra cash from selling her house and he speeched her into giving that money to him to invest in some "sure fire investment". She never saw him again after that. And to put icing on the cake, she found out that he was married with kids (from social media). She was left with no money and had to live with her sister
Once when I was in the 9th grade there was this Latina guy i would always see at the end of the day bc our classes were right next to each other. He was so cute to me I just knew I had to talk to him. So after a couple weeks of following close behind him after class let out in the hopes that he would give me the slightest slither of attention I finally gathered up the bravery to talk to him. Lol I stopped this guy in the middle of the busy stairwell while all the other kids were shoving past trying to make it to their busses on time and said something along the lines of “hi.. what’s your name?… I’m (also) Stephanie.. and I think you’re really cute can we text sometimes” it was my first time ever approaching a guy first, he let me down in the kindest most gentle way possible, he wasn’t mean or rude actually super sweet about it but it still hurt and embarrassed the hell out of me. At my young age of 15 I swore from that day on I will never approach a guy first ever again.
Side note: within the following weeks he had suddenly grew an interest in me and would try talking to me in the hallways and asked for my number and even invited me to come sit with him at lunch one time but I always declined or avoided him bc I was still just too sore from the initial rejection. I was never mean I always gave him the same super sweet and gentle rejection he had given me but i was just no longer interested.
Thanks for sharing your story! I feel like we (women) should never approach guys first. I'm glad you came to that conclusion.
@@ev6564 yea me too lol and I’m glad I came to it as young as I did too.
Girl let me tell you what you avoided. So I essentially had the same thing in highschool except the guy would flirt back but never seal the deal. Then one day he was walking down the hall with someone else. Yes got a whole gf and ignored me. Then later that year after she cheated on him he asked me out. I felt finally chosen. I was so low back then lol. 7 years later of pure toxic bs I think we are finally done. It hasn't been easy to quit because I've been so desperate for stable love... But yeah girl good job with turning him down because he was only interested after his first choice wasn't.
Why shouldn't women approach guys first? Makes no sense to me. Some guys are naturally shy, and others made shy by all the times we got rejected. Our success rate when asking a girl out is so low, especially at a young age, that some give up on romance till adulthood.
If anything, I'd rather have a woman walk up to me and clearly stating her interest than finding her there whenever I turn around, sending signals and things like that. That's odd lol
You can approach, just don’t make it about
a) being attracted to him,
b) liking him romantically,
c) and wanting his number
Definitely not in the first interaction
Find something to talk about that you guys have in common, exchange a few sentences back and forth, establish a connection.
Then after that, either one can ask for contact information.
In your case being in a crowded hall I would just say hi to them every day until you both were familiar with each other and then try to start a conversation one day.
It’s that simple. We need to go back to seeing each other as friends and approaching as friends.
I admire your bravery though, I could never talk to guys in grade school. When I started in college I made the same mistakes
This is why I can't do tarrot cards or psychic stuff when it comes to relationships and love. It makes me more anxious lol. I just feel like it adds a jinx that doesn't need to be there. I start to overthink my connections based on the details from psychic readings etc. I learned that things come when they come, it should be a natural process. But that's just how I function. Love your dating stories, more please!
Same. I would never cast a love spell, you could be attracting a fatal attraction
Same here!
I know 2 people who worked for psychic networks. For extra cash in college.. they away it's mainly desperate women looking for love, people wanting know lotto picks, or people thinking they could connect to loved ho had passed on.
@@WhoCares3001 dang, that’s sad :/
Omg.. this was a tough one to get through lol. I cringed so many times through this story. I'm glad we're past this..
We are.. past this.. right? You're worth so much more than this! I wish you could see yourself the way we see you.
@Butter Pecan Rican ... Have you watched the video where she thought she met her husband around Valentine's Day? She might not be past this 💔😩🤦🏾♀️
@@tamarastuart9904 "I thought I met the love of my life?"
The amount of embarrassing stories I have... girl! Sometimes we feel like it is just us, I love your stories. Being vulnerable is so hard.
Steph: "...so I messaged him again..."
Me (at the top of my fvcking lungs while driving): "NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
I did the same thing!
i got chills
Pause: the face you made in the camera when you took the plate to him is the face I made when I looked away from my cooking to look at you 😅🤣. Sis, you have a great sense of humor and know how to tell a story. Thank you for sharing. Your play aunty has visited that neighborhood too 🙄 😅 OK, back to the video.
The moment you said you took out his plate from the microwave..i had to pause the video. Catch my breath. Send some sugar to your younger self (and mine) . Eish! The things we do for lurv.
Question: " What did he do to SHOW and PROVE to you that u love him??
That right there is the problem.
And to hear u still keep his messages is a sign that there is still work to be done.
Agreed, she said she went to therapy so who knows.
@@firstname8348 yeah...hope she finds true love ❤
@@tstar5944 I hope so too. But she needs to work on herself. She's not ugly at all so I don't think her issues are related to her looks.
@@firstname8348 I agree.
Hope she finds what her shadow side is and work on it. She is a beautiful lady.
Again another video/ story that is relatable. Your life experiences in the dating world could be a movie or tv show at this point. My dating life was similar to this. Watching you look at everything in hindsight is refreshing honestly. I used to go by a coworkers desk just to spark up a conversation with him, but it was obvious that he liked someone else. I even did this in school and at a another job lol my Leo ascending is strong when it comes to me making sure I get what I want, but in the dating world it didn't tend to go my way. Btw you look amazing 💜😊
You're brave to share this story. I couldn't help but cringe all the way through it 😂 We're all a little clueless and desperate at times.
"You want your food?" Can I quietly laugh out loud at work?!! Your advice is the one my mother has always given. Daddy chased her. Thank you for sharing.
Sis I screamed at that part! 😂😂😂
As a black girl who is not ''desired', i can relate so much to your content.... thank you, i fuckin love your storytime
Stop saying that about yourself!
You're smile at the end is ... wow. So beautiful.
His loss.
I said the same thing. She’s like 😁 and I’m like 😁🥰
Your dating story times is why I’m subscribed to your channel. You are really honest and extremely transparent. Do not think you are over sharing . Also your dating story times always have the highest views. That means that’s what people are really interested in! Don’t know how you got the idea that if you keep telling them you would lose subscribers lol
you make me feel normal😂😂steph, you aren't alone in the having weird interactions with guys, we all have had them, you just have the courage to talk about them
Also, the fact that there are time stamps. I feel thought of and appreciated. You appreciate my time and have presented theoretical me (all of us watchers) with a nice package with a bow. Thank you. Your work is appreciated and valued.
The microwave thing made me die inside a little, RIP
My God! The torture some women subject themselves to, just to grab a man. Is any man worth that level of self-dishonor and humiliation? I think not, at least not in my books.
The way she explains her vunerablity is sooo not ina way asking for pity but just openly honest i’m definitely taking notes. Steph your channel is very much appreciated 💕‼️
I feel psychics are full of crap. I did this once. Desperately pursued a guy named Ryan because the psychic pulled a name out of her butt saying I was going to marry a guy named Ryan or Bryan. I met a Ryan a few months later and really tried to pursue him and he was either clueless or not into me but it did not work out and then I was really really disappointed and depressed. Decided its better to not know anything and meet people organically and just see where it goes rather than have someone assure me that this is the person I'll marry because then that just makes me act crazy desperate and that turns the person off.
I agree with this. They pull information out their tails especially when it comes to love readings. Like with me and most ppl it never comes to pass.
This was a great storytime. This reminds me so much of a situation I was in when the guy was giving me clear signs he wasn't interested and I just blocked it out and continued to pursue him. Looking back on it, it was obvious but in the moment it's so hard to see past what you want.
You are such a wonderful person Steph. Sometimes I listen to your videos as I am going to sleep because you just sound like a very wise best friend and your voice is comforting. You are so beautiful and so special, I love watching every single one of your videos!!
I feel that way about her too. So glad she is on RUclips and so glad she exists
You are so wonderfully transparent and ACCOUNTABLE. It is an awesome calling for you to use your channel, teaching women to be accountable for their choices through your experiences! So cool.
2 Videos in one day!!!! Christmas came early!! You look great Steph.💞
Girl were here for your "oversharing" you do it tastefully, they are a celebrity couple it is so different when they do it and I get annoyed too lol You dear have nothing to worry about . I'm here for it !!❤
Same
You look so beautiful! The hair and the lip colour work perfectly for you, you've had a glow up. Your videos bring me so much joy and I always re watch them. Never stop being you and don't tone your personality down for anyone! Please can you do a video on weight/body image and a fashion haul for 2022?
she made a video on BBL and body image earlier this year!
@@raisaa1537 I know, it was a great video wasn't it :)? However I meant specifically one on weight and her opinion on diets etc.
34:02 MA'AM? MA'AM? MA'AMMMMMM!!!!! *SHOUTS INTO THE ABYSS* I know you didn't message him a THIRD TIME!!!
Sis is a stalker, lol
Sis you are still super young. I’m not saying we should be sitting around hoping and wishing but you don’t have one leg in the grave either. Be at peace enjoying your life and your hearts desire can and will come to you.
Lord knows I understand why you declare your dating life is over; it’s a form of copping with the disappointment of your missed expectations. Just know that everyone’s story is different and timing is everything. Back then- you weren’t ready. Just stay focused on loving on yourself and following your dreams and stay open. He will show up when you least expect it.
I really appreciate how you can be so vulnerable and honest on your RUclips channel. You are more relatable than you know. Thank you.
This would be a great episode of a great comedy. It's the physic parts of the story that is just amazing. Amazing in the best way you my friend are a great storyteller and a gem to these yt streets ❤
I thought the same thing lol. I was like "this sounds like a sitcom".
Fantastic storyteller :)
More like a thriller movie, really.
That is true, except it’s her life and her tears.
The pause at the peak of your story, girl, I held my breath! You’re such a good story teller and deserving of all the best things in life.
Congratulations on the subs. And your willingness to admit that you were banned by a psychic hotline. Your stories are so relatable, even if not in the specifics, we've all had our moments of borderline behavior.
Out of curiosity, did you ever have a good girlfriend to run these interactions by?
My thoughts too. Tell us about your girlfriends.
You can have good girlfriends, but if they’re not into tarot astrology stuff it’s beyond them at that point. You can’t meaningfully intervene with someone in this deep
Steph I so appreciate you. I have literally been so awkward and embarrassing in DMS/texts, so it's really refreshing to see another black woman with no game 🤣 Please believe in yourself because there are so many of us out here that see and relate with you 💖
This was painful! Really painful…
I asked my crush out, he agreed enthusiastically and then I found out he was gay... 💀💔 I've been laughing and crying for 3 days, but we're okay friends ig
Couldn't you tell?
😂😂😂😂
@@gnonsian2464 😂😂😂
This sounds like something Joan from Girlfriends would do 😂! But im glad you can look back and realize where you went wrong. You were optimistic and took a chance.
😂 omg, yes!
She reminds me of Joan so much
You could not have embarrassed yourself more omg
This hair is everything!
Yes! It suits her so well
Girllll what keeps us coming back is YOU, exactly as you are ;)
I don't get how you have such terrible luck with men and dating. You're beautiful with a great personality. It must be the men... men are lame lol. Thanks for this story time, Steph. Don't hesitate to tell stories. We're here for you!
I know you say "its the mens fault" in gest, i hope. But as a guy who also suffered from lackluster dating life I had to realize I was doing things wrong. It wouldve been dumb if i blamed all women. This is not referring to Steph's life because I dont know her.
@@ramalellison9205 Yes, I was totally joking! I've been following Steph long enough to know she's not blameless AT ALL! Sis was a hot mess (like a lot of us were) in some of the stories she has shared, including this one. Oof.
But ofc we live and learn. The Steph we now see on yt is reflective and self-aware and appears to have grown tremendously.
I know a lot of people are saying ughhh how embarrassing I would’ve been so embarrassed. Why though? Everyone gets rejected some way some how at some point in their lives. I applaud her giving it her all and not giving up on what she thought was for her. We will all do that with something at some point. At least you gave it a shot. No need to feel embarrassed.
Also a lot of men do this all of the time go through the same rejections and sometimes in the end they get what they wanted.
And when then don’t? On to the next one no embarrassment !
The desperation force is strong with this one. You get emotionally involved so fast. Even after he explicitly told you he didn't want you. This is all on you. I'm glad you are no longer in that place.
Entertaining. 35 was my second deadline so now it's like whatever. Im glad you can reflect and see your mistakes. If a guy is interested you really dont have to wonder or extend your hand for him to notice. But i can understand why you felt like you had to latch on to a possibilty.