How To Deal With A Toxic Boss Without Losing Your Mind!
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
- How To Deal With A Toxic Boss Without Losing Your Mind! You'll almost certainly end up working for a bad boss at some point in your career. But quitting isn't the first, or preferred option in most cases. Here's how you can deal with a toxic boss and still maintain your job.
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Do you have a video on how to document incident as an employee?
Does anyone else head straight to the comments to read other people's work horror stories to see if anyone else has it worse than you? 😂
🙋♂🙋♂
Yup😝
For past 10 years
I hate when the boss belittles you in front of everybody to make themselves feel better
You should leave such workplaces, it's not good for your mental health
Over the course of my work experience thus far, I had bosses ranging from micromanaging me and shadowing my work to bosses who tell me not to overdo it and are very hands off.
the former is toxic, the latter is good boss.@@nicholasrosen6342
My boss calls it constructive criticism. It is humiliation.
just quit and find another job@@Understatedalways
The best strategy is to get the F*** out. You will not gain anything tolerating a POS for a manager. Some people are not fit to manage a pet never mind people. Just start looking for other jobs and finding a way out.
Exactly! I've tried the Professional Higher Ground and setting boundaries....only the be written up for those things and later fired.
Non-toxic bosses are really hard to find. They have to be toxic to rise and stay in their job.
HR is not on the employee's side and never will be. Do NOT go to HR. They are only there to represent the interest of the company.
Nope but your therapist is 💯 on your side 😊. Further advice especially for non-union/managerial/sole-contributors-see a therapist even if you think you’re “okay” - when you’re in survival and you work behind a desk - quiet quitting is not always the answer. And this will bite you in the end from a self-care standpoint.
It's amazing how some people in higher roles with equally high compensation expect lower salaried employees to work as many hours as they do(60+ hrs / wk)
I think, oftentimes, the people with super-duper high compensation work LESS than the lower-salaried employees, not more.
Like, do I work more than Jeff Bezos does? Maybe. Do I work more than Elon Musk? You bet his sorry fascistic shitposting hiney, I do. But I'm... glad he find all that time to spend on Elden Ring LOL
Just remember that no job is ever worth your life or your health. Your job will be posted before your obituary. My Dad worked for an extremely toxic boss who cared about making as much money as possible above all else and it took a lot of convincing for him to leave to which he found a much better employer.
There is no such thing as a trusted co-worker, don’t do it, you will regret it. There is no loyalty from an employer or a colleague. It’s gone and it’s not coming back.
I had a much shorter conversation on the boundaries thing. He talked to me about working from home after hours, and I replied "work is work. Home is home." He pushed back, and I again said "work is work, home is home." I was firm, and he paused and said..."okay...I respect that." We never had that conversation again.
You deal with a toxic boss by leaving for another job. That is the only way. If you're lucky, you can deal them a fatal blow on the way out the door (I've had two torpedoed/fired by my leaving which resulted in tax-free damages to me)
The WORST problem with a toxic boss is that he can SO easily, and repeatedly, defame and malign you in management meetings that you will never hear about. Years can go by. Then the whole management has a terrible view of you. The only way really is to look for another job. I tried the path of looking for another job within in the company, but the toxicity can easily nix that.
Pay attention to your social circle at work. An ex-boss always buddied up to the receptionist who was friends with our company owner. The receptionist was always in the know and fed our boss confidential information.
I left a job where the CEO/Boss:
- called me fat
- never showed up or showed up really late to one on one meetings
- had manager meetings without me
- asked me to leave manager meetings halfway through
- asked me not to pay vendors on time so the bank account could look full
- attempted to move me from W2 to 1099 to save on payroll tax
- tried to get me to participate in insurance fraud by claiming I made less than I did, then by being on the company plan as a 1099
- refused to have an HR department
- played favorites
- bought everyone a gift from her vacations except me
- told me my heart and diabetic issues were a personal problem and to try to work my life around them
That's horrible. The only redeeming quality this person has is the fact that he/she refused to have an HR department.
@@zo1dberg it just removes another level of accountability on them though.
You should have had that HR department so that you could build a case to sue them. You have a good case to sue.
@@MadamLolzshe was the hr dept
@@Themoomabides oof. Sorry to hear that man.
I just quit on them without notice lol 😂
Sometimes it’s gotta be done. I’ve done it many times. I have a tendency to put up with thing’s until I literally snap. But can be drop resistant for your own food at times. Must work on this.
😂
There are a lot of toxic bosses out there. It’s funny because when I was experiencing this I watched and rewatched these videos just to confirm I wasn’t crazy.
how was he toixc?
@@andyng5321 It was actually a she. Excessive favoritism of a certain team member, pretending to know things she didn’t and diminishing team members’ abilities (gaslighting), constantly shifting priorities, public attacks in meetings, the list goes on and on!
@@millertime6 ya last time my superior was an egoistic, toxic, cowardly and a harrasser.
I agree with what you said at the beginning. If you have a toxic boss, write your resume and get out of there. Toxic bosses are like hurricanes. They won’t change their nature and they don’t care about the trouble they cause to anyone in their path. When they strike, it’s best to be elsewhere.
However, this is great advice for dealing not with toxic bosses but with difficult bosses. (Or sometimes even good ones.) Absolutely you should have boundaries and not let them be stepped on. Yes - You should absolutely learn to handle conflict in a professional manner. Learn to say that you don’t have bandwidth and if this new project is important then we need to decide what’s less important and needs to be dropped.
Finally, any complaint to HR that does not end with, “I will leave this company if this continues.” is just shooting yourself in the foot. Their job is not to protect you from a bad boss. Their job is to protect the big boss from you.
A lot of companies don't have an EAP by design; And the truth of the matter these days and it's becoming more and more apparent HR does not give a damn about the employees; HR is just there to protect the company from being sued... And there's very few in HR these days that know how to mitigate an issue and how to handle it effectively most are there because they either don't know what they're doing well in that position or they just don't care That's the truth of the matter most of the time... It's very rare to find a competent and effective person in HR that will try to snuff out a problem without having to turn around and cut off an employee at the knees that is trying to reach out because there is a legitimate problem and more often than not they usually side with the toxic boss or corporate in general instead of minding the interest of said employee. Last result or not.
HR, particularly someone new in the role, are also trying to prove themselves, so can powertrip in trying to look good.
Nailed it.
First boss I had in my first job out of college was toxic AF. Glad there hasn’t been too many since.
Step 1: get a new job.
There is no step 2.
This kind of advice is for a bootlicker who wants to give head to the boss.
You beat me to the punch. It is the ONLY solution to keep your sanity and balance.
I wish I had started looking for another job as soon as the first alarm bell went off. When that boss's dad owns the company, it's not going to get better.
There is step 2, build relationships within your organization and move to a different department
@@user-jo6jd9cf1n that might work in a larger company where the other department is further away from your boss. If the other boss has less pull, you will be wasting your time.
Toxic boss check:
1. Check
2. Check
3. Check
...
10. Check
Yea i just went through this too, wish this came out 3 months ago. Didn't matter what I did, the toxic boss wanted me gone. Much luck to everyone out there. It was good to know my clients and colleagues will miss me and enjoy working with me.
I had a boss that would (on a daily basis) call me into their office and would lecture, criticize, question, and judge every decision I've made in my work progress. "I see you decided to do XYZ, tell me why?", "Let's say hypothetically speaking, XYZ doesn't work in your favor, what would you do then and why?", "I get what you're saying, but I want to know why??"
It would also be followed with a 30 - 40 minute lecture about the whole purpose of my work and pressure on building revenue for the company. It drove me mad nuts, but I kept strong, stayed professional and stood my ground. There were even times my boss would bring up personal opinions I've mentioned in the past and have used it as a reason to embarrass me in front of my colleagues.
Your advice is great - but could you do a few videos for older people, like over 50 or 55 years old? Not all of us have been lucky income wise and desperately need to keep their jobs.
Suffered four years before stealth retiring. My manager found out that I retired the day after.
@@nancyflusa9992Good!!
I prefer to job search for another employer possibly field if able ! Trust me they dont care when they when they fire you
Before I started my own business I went through 10 companies in 10 years. It was corporate sales. There were sales quotas, so you could be fired at any moment because you were not at quota. One of the companies I worked for had 150 % turnover per year. Horrible. That really motivated me to get out of the corporate turnover mill.
My last toxic boss was gaslighting employees and managed to lose all her contract after I quit, when I wasn't there anymore to fix the problems she would cause. She didn't managed to find someone else to fix the problems like I used to do.
My ex toxic boss bragged about how many times she had people complain to HR and that nothing ever happened to her. Imagine that. Bragging about complaints.
I find an that an EEOC charge is rather effective in making the shenanigans stop. Doubling down on performance is a bad investment. A good psychologist can help you get months of FMLA and short-term disability pay to get paid while getting away from a toxic boss. Do this BEFORE things escalate to a PIP. When you return to work, the company will have to show it's not retaliating for an employee using FMLA, hence giving you more leverage.
Yep! I worked in HR for 20 yrs this is someone who knows how to work the system. A couple things don't show your hands to early, otherwise the company will move a lot faster than you. Second FMLA does not apply to all employers bc of size/distance. Not all state/employers have or offer short-term disability..... third some employers don't care and will fire you anyway. Oh lastly if you signed an arbitration agreement when you were hired, you will want to get that looked by good lawyer in your state.
She was polite, not mean at all, but soooo subtlety needy! Me and my colleagues were caregivers. It killed us all off eventually. I think she wanted a second family. I’ve probably blocked most of my memories by now so I can’t get too specific. Just glad I’ve moved on and up. Her company went bankrupt. 🤷♀️ Manage up, you betcha! Hard concept to communicate to others but I figured that out early and it’s huge. 🎉
Odly enough I had a super nice amazing boss and it was my supervisor who was toxic and rude.
From my experience the worst thing is to just "suck it up buttercup" despite being surprisingly successful at first. Over time it will come to point where losing your mind becomes inevitable.
Yes!! Everyone wants to be able to win against their toxic boss and have a hero’s story. Real life isn’t like that. Even if you win a battle with a toxic boss, they will always win the war. Best to cut your losses and move the hell on.
An employee should assume the bosses have a file on you, just in case you try to complain. So if you talk to HR, you will likely be countered with all the times you took too long to respond, or whatever. I'm 100% sure my toxic supervisor has that. He overloads me constantly, and something is always behind. And I'm sure he writes that down.
If your boss is a malignant narcissist which is the most dangerous kind, do not tell them WHY you are setting a boundary with them. Just let them know that you are not available to work additional hours. I say that because I literally had a manager that tried to get one of my coworkers fired from his second job, because he couldn't work late since he had to be at his other job by a certain time. Absolute madness.
You'll know your boss is a malignant narcissist if they seek revenge over the smallest things, but blame the other person for their vengeance. I.e. You wouldn't work late so you pushed me to try to get you fired from your other job, which sounds insane to the rest of us but is completely rational to a toxic person.
This channel has made me feel better about the last 20 years of toxic work environments or bad bosses, that I blamed myself for. I have worked for so many bad people, I would be fired and not knowing why or how or where things went so wrong.
This is great advice and very useful if one decides to remain with an employer.
The best thing you can do is to get the hell out of there
What if it's an entire team that acts this way because of politics?
Unfortunately I had to take early retirement bc of severe toxicity with upper management. I was getting physically sick , developing bile reflux. I’m paying the price in a lowered pension & I’m going through horrendous financial problems as a result.
I get the boss promoted and make him someone else's problem
promoted to be a customer? 🤗
TALK WITH YOUR FEET!!!!! Get out of there as fast as you can. You may have a job you love and a supervisor who makes you miserable. Unless it is truly an amazingly well run company with superior senior and executive level management this problem boss is not going to go away! if you are hoping that you can do good work and get transferred to another group - the more likely scenario is your toxic boss is going to beat you to it and fire you under false charges if you are an at-will employee. Remember, this toxic person has the power, and most toxic people are narcissists, which means that they get off on using their power over others.
And yeah - after 30 years I've kinda seen it all.
My husband had a boss so arrogant, at one point he looked at my husband, in front of colleagues, and said, "I don't like (our ethnic group), (our religion) and fatsos, in that order," then gestured to my husband, who was all three. My husband didn't want to go running to HR, but felt he had no choice. The boss ended up in some sort of diversity class. Six months later, my husband was on the list for a layoff (the toxic boss came in on a merger of corps). Husband has already lined up something. He shook Toxic Boss's hand profusely, and said he skipped down the street of a major metro business district, happy to have a new job the next week, and a nice severance package including health insurance.
Ah, start looking for your next opportunity.
This video came at a good time. Thanks for this. 🤗🤗🤗
Just want to say thank you for the excellent content. My job was cut recently after 14 years so I was way out of practice looking for jobs, resume writing and interviewing. Your videos helped me land a new, even better job after only 2 months!!! Keep it up, people like us need this kind of thing!
Informative...TY
Honestly sometimes it’s a bad company and a generally good boss. The solutions are the same though.
I needed this bad😭
my boss had numerous conversation with hr for his toxic mobbing behaviour. still doing it.
Thank you for the very helpful information. I worked in my last organisation for 15 yrs. The culture was so toxic, all of the things you described in this video, and i am suffering from PTSD as a result. My new job and organisation is fantastic but i have carried over anxitey from my last job. I didnt trust the HR dept in my last job, not many did, because of variouse things that it did to many others. Private information made it's way out in 1 form or another. Now i just keep my head down and say nothing because i have learned that if you put your head above the parapet, it won't end well for you. I had a horrible boss who is a bully.
I look at it like this: If everyone leaves their toxic boss, the boss just has to pay more. Over market value, that's how I'm willing to put up with their crap.
I documented all of his behaviors including screenshots of emails and text messages as well as verbal jabs. Even when passed to senior management and HR, nothing happened. Reason? He was also gay so he could hide behind his minority status...
@@luke5100"To find out who rules over who you look at those you cant criticize"
@luke5100 I really did not care that he was gay, but this guy took every opportunity to remind me. Also, my documentation of his behavior was some 7 pages long (plus screenshots). That company can keep him. The real talent has already left (including me).
Don't let a toxic workplace culture or a bad boss hold you back from achieving your full potential. Your career and well-being are worth investing in. the choice is yours: stay in a job with a bad boss and suffer the consequences, or make a change and find a workplace where you feel valued and supported.
👍👍
I got suddenly let go from a new job yesterday over the phone around lunch, and started pursuing a better opportunity before dinner.
Everyone I talked to, my parents and my professional connections, all said that particular place had a reputation and went through a lot of managers and I was likely thrown under the bus so the manager can save their own skin by blaming the new hire.
Exhibit A: what kind of hotel manager let's the hotel entirely run out of latex gloves. That means all the housekeeping, cleaning, food handling, etc. no gloves. Ive been in the industry long enough to know that's a huge health hazard.
Probably did me a favor to let me go tbh. At will employment can be like that.
I had a situation like this. The solution is at the first sign of toxic boss leave that shit
I had a toxic boss in a toxic workplace and it ruined any career development I had. I had worked up to an intermediate position but the place was very toxic. If someone had a question about your work, they would CC your manager, their manager, and your co-worker. I ended up grabbing a call centre job just to leave and I've been stuck there since.
Ill keep that in my mind.. For now I'm truying to stay calm despite of some issues with my bosz and to my new team lead that has conncections wih him.. So thats why Im trying my best to finish the tasks on time and trying not to react on on negative things around me
Step 2: show him who is the boss
I had a boss who would call peoples jobs ( this is after they had left) to say they were a bad employee and they should be fired from their new job
Consider switching departments (if possible) - that worked for me and then the toxic boss left on his own
The boundary one you explained: I worked night shift so I told my supervisor that my work phone turns off 30 minutes after I clock out and that if the conversation lasts more than five minutes, then I will charge time for the length of the call.
I have been watching these videos since my own layoff in general I find them very informative. I do have moments where I feel at times he sides with the company and boss. Is that just me?
This is a set of skills that has been methodically programmed out of our culture. Pay attention people. This guy knows his stuff.
I don't know your name, but I like you and I want you to be my life coach. I ❤ love your channel.
REAL LIFE RECRUITER!
my boss started becoming toxic after hiring a new person this person was very toxic, this person would literally watch every move I did. For example I had to take a personal phone call I removed myself from our small office a one room office, immediately while on the phone I got several texts and calls from my boss asking what I was doing. I finished my personal call and then replied to my boss saying since I had a personal call I did not want the other co-worker hearing the details. Things quickly went down hill this toxic person was essentially how I was fired, she lied and did other things unprofessional.
Narcissism in the workplace via a boss is real. It's a battle you won't win. Move on asap. Not worth the health decline and mental anguish.
If you have a dhick boss, they aren't going to change. Dhicks are hired by dhicks. Time for you to leave.
I had the most toxic of toxic workplaces. A boss who screamed at employees in the workshop with customers in ear shot, A boss who hired drug addicts, a boss who would force his employees to quit by giving nickel raises for COLA. It was a family run company and it was the middle of the great recession and I was happy to have anything. But I got out of there asap.
questions: if the boss crosses the line into illegal activity can he be sued by the subordinate on a personnel level? not naming the employer as the defendant? 2)can one get a doctors note to go on disability or even workers compensation? due to the nature of the event(s)? maybe someone is assaulting their loved ones by no fault of their own?
1. the bosses of the person breaking the law have to be informed so they can protect the company. If you don't tell and the lawsuit happens, you don't want to come up as someone who was aware.
2. disability and workers compensation are 2 different things. and it very much depends on the nature of the issue (did you get hurt at work?). but nobody will give you a disability or workscomp to help a person that is in an abusive relationship. there are ways to get an FMLA to care for someone, but the company will not pay for it, they may be obligated to keep the spot for you to come back to.
One Cease & Desist from your attorney, and believe me, that sh*t will be shut down. Management doesn't fear an employee, but they do fear litigation.
how do you deal with a supervisor that is from the marines and is a micromanager
Give him crayons.
6:50 Never go to HR. NEVER. If you ever feel the desire to have HR involved, GET A LAWYER!!! HR is only there to protect the company and NOTHING ELSE. That's why the company hires them and if they don't protect the company, they get fired. If the lawyer says to contact HR, the lawyer will provide you with the proper way to document it, otherwise you will lose. This tuber has no idea how the law works or what HR does.
Document all as a matter of habit. You don't know if or when you might need it. Take it home. Don't keep it in your work place.
Why is it that jobs are now a matter of life and death? My job is just a job. A lady I work with is always on me about things that aren't that big of a deal. She lives for her job. I don't. I enjoy the day when I don't encounter her. Why are some people all about confrontation? Is something wrong with them or me? I want to be happy at my workplace.
How do I deal with a boss that has a bad attitude and doesn’t like to help me in a nice way when I ask for help? I work from home and a lot of times when she calls me she is already huffing and puffing and talking to me in a way like I’m a child and she doesn’t feel like dealing with me.
Or they schedule a regular meeting with you but start every one with “I don’t have anything”, but then when you are discussing a potential extension of your contract they use something that they never raised as an issue in those meetings as an excuse…
***VIDEO SUGGESTION*** Are those "anonymous" surveys that you get at work, really anonymous? We get them at my company every year. They say they use them to gauge employee satisfaction.
My manager isn't toxic, he's usually pretty good. However, he is cowardly and seems to favour my unprofessional colleague who nobody else likes.
Look up right to work doctrines in your state. You will be blow away at the things employers are legally allowed to do. A toxic boss will suck your soul 😢
What if you are in HR and your boss is Toxic.
Quit. 😂😂😂 that’s the best way to
The video had great advice until the HR portion. NEVER go to HR. If the company hired a toxic boss then it means the company is OK with that sort of behavior and HR will be fine with it too. HR is often the most toxic people in the company. They create the toxicity, they don't remove it. Just leave the place. But PLEASE, never involve HR. Don't talk to them, don't email them, don't interact with them. At all times, pretend they don't exist.
You have a cellphone 📱 use it and record their threat's and intimidation and or even violence! Your not allowed too utilize your cellphone depending on where you work now no problem get yourself some hidden surveillance and recording camera's!!! Sue them if need be!!!! 😉
Had a nuclear waste level toxic boss once. Constantly critizizing my work saying she didn't care if my work met the company standards, if it didn't meet her totally-not-made-up-on-the-spot personal standards, which often entailed actually violating compliance and ethics standards. I eventually escalated it to internal compliance which openen a case up. She backed down after that, but then ramped up retaliation at every chance she got.
Started documenting a years worth abuse and reported that as well. HR claimed there was no retaliation, but she was demoted shortly after and moved off my team. (which was one of my recommendations of resolution in the case). Figures.
Note for anyone reading this: HR will always, always claim there was never any retaliation or wrongdoing after their investigation, no matter how much evidence you present, because the moment they do they are wide open for a massive lawsuit. They'll always deny, and then quietly take action afterwards to either resolve, or cover up.
It's impossible to give no reason for criticism if the boss is really toxic. The one will invent reasons from nothing no matter whan you will do or not do :)))
I've yet to face a toxic boss, cos I'm a toxic af employee 😅
Toxic bosses are let to go. Nobody wants to have disfunctional company. Sadly that doesn't happen fast enough. Toxic bosses usually get hired very fast in other places. I wonder why?
Call the EPA if your boss is toxic.
Just replace your toxic boss with AI. Its just 60 lines of code.
So you think a toxic boss is going to come to their senses just because you sit down and draw out a plan with them? Lol their unreasonable to begin with. Just look for a new job. Always ask why the position is available at the inteview. If it's over a promotion ask if you can talk to that person who had that position. If it was a resignation ask why and did you guys had an exit interview. What was the takeaway from that exit interview? Ask the potential boss their managing style and how they deal with challenges at the job. t's a two-way street. Bring a a binder full of questions to the interview if you have to haha. YOU'RE WELCOME.
Scrw his wife, man. He can humiliate you and insult you in front of your colleagues, but it all becomes irrelavent once you remember one of your visits to his house. And it's even better if he knows and consents it.
How to deal with a toxic boss? Simple, you DONT. Forget all the advice in this video, all those measures are a lot of trouble for nothing, they wont solve anything, except for the last one. It is simpler to just leave and find another job.
At some time or another??? L 😅 L
I consider m'self a character, you know what is said "if everyone around you is problematic, consider the common denominator" (you🤦🏼♀️!)
But when you said 'everyone has trouble', BINGO.😅
There have been several times over the course of my work experience where either my boss or coworkers will call or text me on something mundane they can figure out themselves. Sometimes I'll get a text on something askew and then 2 minutes later they text me back saying "never mind."