You Can’t Change Them - Man or Beast
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
- One of the biggest mistakes we make in life, whether it is working with our horse, or working with people with whom we are in relationships, is getting the idea that we can change them. neither your spouse or your horse will change unless they choose to change.
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I forgot! The cigar is a Partagas Black Label 6x60
Smoking the exact same stick right now!
Truly appreciate your thoughts & perspective.
Thank you
Happy birthday
Happy Birthday Dewayne! I always appreciate hearing your thoughts.
Thank you!
Love your cigar suggestions
The only person you can change is yourself, and only if you want to.
That's not entirely true. If you make someone angry, you've changed them. 😂
@@n4ughty_knight big difference between a temporary state, and the core personality
The only thing I would change about myself? To stay away from Evil people! And enjoy life
God changes us, not us.
That's hilarious 😃
"If you want something to change, you have to accept it" - Alan Watts
Turning up the heat by screaming and hollering at a spouse will only build resistance and resentment. Sadly, many young people grow up thinking that is a potential solution simply from watching mom and dad.
Absolutely, don't repeat the cycle.
Walk away
@@davidcoffman4202👌
Yeah, I really don't want to be like that. Pray for me and my fellow brothers who will walk the same Path.
Soft beats strong.
Works with people, animals and even politics
The only thing we control in life is our reaction to things that happen. Best life advice I have ever received.
Happy Birthday Dewayne! ❤❤
Wise advice. I think I was in my mid 40's when I figured out I can't change anyone else. The best I can hope for is to change myself, and even that is hard.
I got a free horse because the owner spoiled him so bad he became barn sour.
Once saddled and out the gate he would crow hop, so they turned around. They gave up on him.
I took him, worked him in the round pen. It took two weeks for him to realize how things work.
He got so obedient that if I look at his shoulder without touching he would give to my eyes.
My leg ques were very soft. He knew how to read the changes in my seat.
He turned into a very good horse.
Occasionally he’d get cold backed. So I let him get it out. Sometimes it was on a lead sometimes I was on him.
I worked cows on him. He was fearless. I cow hunted on him, we got bad stuck in a flag pond. I worked him out slowly.
Took some digging.
Only thing is he would colic. I finally got that straightened out too.
Great video. Makes a lot of sense
In line with Dewayne's perspective, I want to emphasize the importance of embracing and accepting genuine efforts towards change. What I mean to say is that it's crucial to let go of past behaviors. Whether individuals have completely transformed or are making progressive strides, acknowledging their journey is vital. Dwelling on past actions serves no purpose; instead, it's essential to release them. Bringing up past behaviors only hinders growth. Statements like, "You would have binge-drunk if you had one drink," or "I kept this secret because of your past angry outbursts," are unproductive. It's important to recognize that these behaviors are no longer part of the person's present reality. It's important to recognize and appreciate the strides someone is making towards becoming a better version of themselves. Encouragement and support can go a long way in fostering personal development and building trust
Good advice.
I am about to turn 20 years old and for the past 6 years I've been blessed with a lady that taught me a lot of things. She taught me that there is a better option other than getting angry, she taught me to handle situations with a calm mind. She taught me that everything can be solved with words, there's no need to throw hands right away. She taught me that there's no need to speed and risk and put myself in danger, I can always speak what's on my mind and get the weight off my chest without risking anything. She opened my eyes in a lot of things, I raised her and she raised me, we learn from eachother.
She is a gift from heaven and I want to wife her up, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I am trying to get on my feet. Boys please pray for us that things will work out, because we went through the hardest things and I just want to slow down and find peace with her.
Just like people, they cannot change; we can change how we care for them. That is what you are doing. Agree with you 100 percent; people and animals have to want to change.
" I offered him an alternate approach...and he changed" What a line! Love it!
As an EHS Manager in the Manufacturing arena for 30 years I have learned the secret to change, and it is just that, offering an alternative approach. Now, if I could only make the damn horse drink!
they wont drink cause they used to dirty water
“He chose peace”..........perfect. ❤😊
A man must recognise that things can easily change and he must therefore prepare his mind for those changes so that they do not come as a surprise and then become a great burden upon him, he must fortify himself in readiness for the inevitable event. The Pessimist is always lurking in the back of his mind.
Impeccable insight. Also, changing oneself for someone else’s desire is a trap. Change for yourself. That’s what matters most.
Dewayne, this video came at absolutely the right time. Although it’s not a marriage it parallels with the relationship to my 76 year old mother. The parallel are spot on. She simply will not stop falling for scams. I manage her finances and she continues to give money away. Your video gave me the exact tact I need to take. THANK you! I will offer and alternative solution. I have to work on my patience and temper. I turn 56 in May and I take away great things from your videos.
When dementia begins, it becomes virtually impossible for them to choose to change and carry through. Not saying your mother is demented, but I’d strongly suspect she’s begun on path of cognitive decline. It is tough on caregivers, so don’t expect any easy solutions. Just manage her finances as well as you can, love her, and appreciate the time you have with her - it is tragically short.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Glad you stepped back , took a deep breath , used your common sense ; and decided to continue to guide us humans , horses and mules . It's a shame that one jackass caused you to consider moving away from your God given gift . Happy to see you "back on the trail" again . 🍀
A fine rocking chair from a fine wife. Beautiful wisdom and a great cigar. Happy birthday
Speaking about a person with a temper, that was me. And it took me years and one very scary moment for me to open my eyes to the reality of it.
I stormed off into dad's shop after, shaking scared of what I almost done. Had a real serious one on one with God. I don't know how long I was in the shop, felt like hours.
But after that, I actually cared to REALLY try and become a better person. Wasn't easy at first. My brother tried things to get a reaction and man, the temptation to deck him was strong. But I didn't. He couldn't believe it. But with time, he backed off.
I still have dark moments, but not near as many as I used to 20 some years ago.
I just rescued a very high energy dog from the humane society a few days ago and this is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Dogs and horses may be different physically, but I think the sentiment is still valid. Wisdom from those with experience is always valuable to those who want to learn 🙂
Where has this guy been all my life? My Wyoming uncle I never knew I needed.
One of the hardest lessons to realize and apply.
“The way, cannot be forced”
- Lao Tzu
Thanks
Thanks
I always tell my friends and family, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink.” Thanks for the lecture today
Very wise words my dear sir.
This was quite literally one of the biggest turning points in my life... When I realized that it's not in my power to change (or control) any of the people around me, was when I became a totally different person. It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
Things started to become so much more clearer, as I learned how to just focus on controlling myself as well as my own thoughts.
It is indeed very true that you can't change people... But you can always influence them through your own words and actions.
Amen friend...every single homeschool mom of little boys needs to watch, digest and apply this.
Oh Dwayne I hope you understand how truly charismatic and legendary your disposition is, especially for a man like me in my early 40's. You are appreciated.
I very much appreciate these fireside chats. Living while surrounded by so many folks in the city who get stuck watching blinking lights all day is disconnecting. Being able to kick these kinds of videos on while working in the garage (getting my late grandfather's 50 year old rototiller back running soon currently) gives me some respite and some sorely needed wisdom.
Learned this lesson the hard way in a relationship. Giving yourself the option to move on when the person chooses separation instead of positive change is a massive step.
Praise Yah, thank you, Brother!
You sure have a way about you.
A great "Teacher". Much Love
It's crazy how fast his beard is turning white
His wisdom is showing.
Oh my god just noticed, that’s so cool.
@@amybahner6511 my facial hair really started getting white a few years ago. With me I doubt it’s from wisdom 🤣😂
@@johnfish7144 😂 lol, well usually it does!
Happy birthday Dwayne. You got an awesome lady that takes care of you that priceless.👍👍👍
Don't be surprised when the movie producers come after you. Enjoyed this video so much. 😊😊
Love getting wise words from you dewayne
Happy Birthday Dewayne!!! From a young man down here in Florida, you have done nothing but change my life and help me recognize I can change myself in ways I had long forgotten was possible! :)
I had to quit drinking on my own and it’s hard but not impossible ,especially when you straighten up and reflect on your actions and how they affect not just you but others you love.
You are a godsend Dewayne! This couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you for your wisdom 🙏🏼
Would you and Mamma ever consider buying the place that you have leased?It really seems to fit you both and your business. Blessings to you for a wonderful year.
I have broached the subject to the owner, but they do not wish to sell
Dwayne, although I'm 49 and my father just passed in June of 2023, I miss him sooo much beyond what I can explain.
I receive your words as gold. Had I taken his advice when I was 19 I'd be retired now, enjoying my wife and children.
I always loved talking with him and listening to him in the latter part of my life. Now that I will receive it better, he's unfortunately no longer with us.... I turn to your videos to fulfill what I still needed to hear from my father 😢
Thank you sir
Just hearing this man talking is so relaxing he brings inner peace
This hits hard for me because I recently ended a relationship with a friend who was constantly needing me to bail them out of one crisis after another because of their bad decisions. After realizing that they were never going to stop doing things that were leaving me both penniless and destroying my trust in them, I had to decide if their friendship was worth the cost. I miss that friend and I wish them only the very best, but my life is much better now without them in it.
You can't change anyone, but you can definitely influence and even inspire.
My ol Grandaddy used to say: "there's nothin like horse sense" when we talk about folks we call that "uncommon sense" ... I sure did learn a lot from my Grandaddy. Sir you remind me of him. Bless ya'll on your birthday.
I will change myself. I have been working on it all 2024. The part where you said something along the lines of trying to change someone and that becoming all you see, forgetting the positives, has opened my eyes to that again. I am the one who wants to change and that has blinded me to the positives in my relationship and life. Thank you for reinforcing my spirit with the words I need.
To you sir a very Happy Birthday!! Thanks for all your advice and wisdom,Im old school myself still believe morals, scruples which are very rare in this age and time!!! God bless you and your Mrs.🙏🙏
Good morning Dwayne
I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous 17 + years of sobriety off drugs and alcohol.
Sometimes you just get damned sad that you can't change them. The wife keeps going back
Had a heck of a time sleeping last night
Then I woke up to you this morning I don't know about the rest of these Jack wagons I needed a small miracle this morning to remind me.
I can't control nothing
Man...the whole shot reminds me of my papaw in his corner chair with the wood paneling rambling on about similar things.
I thank him for many things. As well as yourself. Thank you
Bill Gates said, "I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it." I suppose horses are similar to humans. The option part is very true. People usually don't do this. Happy birthday Dewayne and thanks for sharing all your wisdom!!
Love has a way of bringing about a positive change but fear seems to bring about a negative change that is resentful.
Thank you for this insight! I'm on the journey of change myself. I'm three months sober now. I didn't to drink alcohol/get drunk any more. I'm also looking into christianity. In a previous video, you mentionted a story of Jesus helping others out of compassion, which is something I try to do myself, and I realise it is the way I wish to continue, and a place where I can find like-minded people. I will probably do an orientation course for christianity, which includes bible study, as well as discussions about topics surrounding christianity. I'm happy to have these insights at the age of 26, so I can have a longer, happier, and calmer life.
Hearing how much you love your wife really makes me so happy, it brings tears to my eyes because it's such a beautiful thing that I dont often hear or see. I really hope that I can find and cultivate a loving relationship such as you have. I will have hope 🙏
Very truthful words of wisdoms. For relationships period. I know a bit on this subject myself. My wife is an addict, 10 years clean. We are happier now than we have ever been. All my bitching and hollering never helped anything. Options and is what helped and turned her around.
Happy Birthday 🎂 thanks for that , patience that's a hard one for me sometimes. I'm studying 📖 and learning You know I thank GOD for Ole Timers when I reflect some Precious Folks that knew a little somethin helped me and at the time I didn't even realize it. THANK YOU. 👍🏻
This was gospel, thank you. Understand better about people not changing than horses, that was an eye opener. I have been around people and did it myself, of hauling a horse around and I felt like a bully.
Dewayne, your channel should be a required course in early high school, it would change so many lives. Keep it up, appreciate your time.
Amen. I love your wisdom
I love these videos!! Thank you!! And thank you Momma!
Thank you Dwayne for continuing to bring sound logic to this generation. Hugs to you and mama for such a great council on how a marriage works. Thank you sir.
Thank you sir. I needed this today.
Great wisdom as always
Thank you!
Thank you sir, I really needed that today!
I see your bourbon selections....very nice choices
Happy Birthday, Sir!! Wishing ya many more!
Thank you! ❤ 🙏
Y'all see what he said? One important key is offering them an option they feel will be better. You can offer options all you want, but if it doesn't connect with them, then it just doesn't.
There is alot of relationship comparisons in this video and I'd like to add for anyone thinking to apply this to a human relationship this advice.
You can assist in your spouse's change through communication. To use an example given. If your spouse is spending a mass amount of money or debt while you struggle to keep funds for your family needs, it is not simply enough to control who has access. Communicate the pain or setback it is putting on yourself and future goals and develop a plan together, you are in a partnership. communication is the corner stone to many things in life. Best of luck to everyone here in their future.
happy birthday, you advice always helps
Thankyou I needed to hear this…
I was worried we’d never have another cigar-talk video 🤗
You are the Grandfather that i've never had. There's so much knowledge in your words..Greetings down from Brazil Dwane.
Well, my mood and attitude certainly improved when I stopped eating processed foods and I feel better when I've been out in nature.
Unfortunately most people wouldn't accept that option if I gave it to them. I now what's not your point.
After leaving my husband I've changed a lot, by choice, as you say. If I ever enter another relationship it will be with a new mind set. No fixer uppers 😂. If you're trying to fix somebody it's because you need to fix a wound in yourself.
Thank you and happy birthday!
Happy Birthday Sir! Wish you many happy years with your family and loved ones! Thank you for your golden words! Salam Aleykum from Azerbaijan :)
You can lead a horse to the water but you can't make it drink.
Just what I need to hear. Thank you for this.
Thanks, Dwyane!
I needed this Mr Noel, thank you! And happy birthday ❤️
Happy Birthday Brother!❤
Again thank you brother. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Love your videos dude!
Happy Birthday week wonderful man…thank you fir all your wisdom 🙏🏻
Happy Birthday!! Thank you for sharing your sound advice in the videos.
Wise man. God bless you, Dwayne!
Thank you Dwayne! Love and God Bless.
Thanks for the video sir! They are all appreciated. Happy birthday to you!
Insightful. Thank you.
Happy birthday my friend. Love the new chair
He is back! Thank you for video.
This helped me, I really needed to hear this today.
Very true and well said. Hope you have a happy birthday!
Thank you Sir for the true wisdom, over many videos you've shared.
I know this is late but happy birthday Dewayne! Your videos are such a breath of fresh air. I feel like I have learned so much wisdom from you since I discovered your channel last summer. Thank you for everything you do!
So true ,so subtle and just plain perfectly put..Thank you Sir.😊
Happy birthday Dwayne! I wish you a long and happy life. Thank you, Dwayne and Momma, for uploading this video. It has helped me get through some difficult times in my life.
Great to see you back, with the coffee and cigar, having a chat! HAPPY Birthday too!
Thank you for this.
Thank you Dewayne! This came at the perfect time, I really needed to hear this. Wishing you a wonderful birthday!
Hello! Good to see you with new video 👍💪
This was crystal clear ❤