Anger: Responding, Not Reacting, with Tara Brach
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- Anger: Responding, Not Reacting, with Tara Brach [2017-10-25]
Anger is natural, intelligent and necessary for surviving and flourishing. Yet when we are hooked by anger, it causes great personal and collective suffering. This talk explores how to transform patterns of reactivity by bringing a mindful and compassionate attention to the unmet needs that underlie angry reactivity. When we learn how to pause and connect honestly with our inner experience, we are then able to respond to others from our full intelligence and heart.
“Getting angry with another person is like throwing hot coals with bare hands: both people get burned.” Buddha
Please enjoy this remastered version of one of Tara's most popular talks, originally published on 2017-10-25. To access the full library of Tara's archived talks, go to: tarabrach.com
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With thanks and love, Tara
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Love this section where she talks about "Why do we shout when we are angry?" When we are angry, our hearts are far apart. When we shout, we are trying to cover the distance between our hearts. When two people fall in love, they talk softly because their hearts are close. Brilliant!
One of the things I notice in communication to try and reestablish connection, or when I'm "rehearsing" is that I can use word choices that still carry the intention of shifting blame and these can serve as triggers for the other person. For example, :"When you did x, I felt abandoned, rejected, disrespected, etc." I'm still saying, "you did this bad thing to me." What I really mean to say, if I'm being 100% responsible, is that I feel afraid of not belonging, of losing connection, of not being respected or loved, of something to that effect. It's does take a mindful pause, because it can take a while to push through wanting to hold onto blame and wrong-making and to find the language that best supports reconnection with 100% responsibility.
I listened to this video over 200 times dealing with so much pain and strong emotions. It has completely changed my life. Every time I felt the wave of emotion I would put this on. It retrained my brain and now I see and respond to my emotions in a totally different way. Thank you 💕
This was a really profound and beautifully delivered talk. Thank you. Peace and happiness 🙏
This is timely. (as always)
Have been struggling with social anxiety at work. And almost each day there I want to RUN home. Who knew working at a funeral home could house so many egos, toxic behaviors and unawakened, thoughtless souls. {ouch}
I am really digging deeply to practice loving kindness with my work colleagues. Yes, they anger me.
What comes out of peoples mouths continues to shock me.
This will be saved in my Tara Brach playlist.
~Thank You~
🌿🕊️💕🌊🌍
Such truth behind the anger. I am going to do a couples thing on it. Thank you.
M
A knowing after rain. Thank you so much💕
Your message spoke directly to my heart and soul and was much needed🙏🏼☮️
Thank you so much Tara. Exactly what I needed to hear today. I had just come home from a walk and reacted to a dog that scared me. I ended up feeling really ashamed of my behaviour. When I think of it now I realize that I have a great need of feeling safe and being heard. 🙏
I believe that this is your most profound video. Thanks.
I said the same 👍
Love this conversation about anger.
Thank you 🙏🏼
😇💜☮️
Fantastic so clear and helpful 🙂👍
Thank you! I worked through something that has been really eating at me for months now. I know what I must do and of course it involves love, communication, and compassion. ♥
35:54 This is a great story
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your thoughtful message!
Thank you Tara🙌
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Did this help anyone , that reacts.?
I do seemingly without control..
The U-turn is to turn to one's emotions, and tell the other about it. Which is a very risky thing to do: show your vulnerability to the person who is angry at you... You really have to be sure the persone will love and respect you enough not to use this to his/her own advantage and hurt you even more. Tough call...
You are falling into the wrong thought that responding to anger with love and compassion, or at the very least calm resoluteness is 'vulnerability'. It actually is not. There is great power (not the kind of power we are used to) in maintaining one's cool. In keeping one's voice low, and in pausing before speaking. Think about it...you aren't feeding into the other's anger, but rather neutralising it. Our emotions, and their worst manifestations, do not speak of those we direct them at, but rather of ourselves.
If the prefrontal cortex dominates, you will not be victim to your own anger, but neither to that of the other. If the lymbic dominates, we are returning to the primitive caveman.
Powerful !
Lovely!!
My mind is perverse. When she was talking about passive aggressive, I had an urge to go to Medium and tackle misogynists in the responses 😅🤣
What is the strange fuzzy grey layer floating above her head?
There is a mirror behind her. That's the reflection of her head
@@icequeen5551 Good god! For a moment I thought it was her ethereal body. Thanks!
@@kipling1957 lol you're welcome 😂❤️
@@kipling1957 wouldn't surprise me in the least
One shouts louder because he/she thinks that makes them right.
Is it my sight Or does this fantastic being hace a sort of aura? A over the crown of her head 😱😱🥰
Inspiring woman☺️
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17:34