Taking a Table Corner to the Crotch - Iliza Shlesinger
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- Опубликовано: 19 окт 2020
- Iliza Shlesinger explains how to recover after getting nailed in the crotch by a table corner and discourages women from sharing their heel height.
Original airdate: April 16, 2010
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These half-hour specials showcased some of the best up-and-coming comedians of the moment. The show was a pivotal stepping stone for many of today’s stand-up stars, including Dave Chappelle, Patton Oswalt, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, Kevin Hart, Zach Galifianakis, Dane Cook, Bill Burr, Wanda Sykes and Maria Bamford.
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I get table corners to my hips more than my crotch, I also run into doorknobs my whole family is clumsy.
Teri, how old are you? I had that problem when I was a teen because even though I was skinny like a stick figure, my hips took on a life of their own and I just couldn’t keep track where they were-and to make matters worse, my family lived in a house with cut glass doorknobs so I was perpetually bruised.
@acefjom
They just won’t stay the same size from one day to the next-for four to six YEARS!
@Teri: Maybe you and your whole family are normal, but your house is just full of clumsy tables and doorknobs?
Fred
It's the thighs for me 😬
I'm so clumsy I have hit my right elbow in the "funny bone" spot, or RIGHT on the tip (god that hurts) SO much in my life it has given me a sort of carpal tunnel, but it stems from my lower arms and not my wrists. I totally threw my doctor for a loop on that one. Lol.
Absolutely the queen of physical comedy!
When she mentioned dinasour and made that sound after getting hit by the table 🤣🤣🤣🤣hilarious
Damn!!!! She’s been working the yoga Mat 😂
I really enjoy her type of humor. Pretty funny.
Please do yourself a favor and turn on the subtitles. Thank me later! 😁
These subtitles are from Drew Michael's Half Hour, also from Comedy Central.
I NEVER knew that I could use CC on youtube,I feel slow after all these years😆
😳🤭🤦🏾♂️😂🤣😭
You have to change it to auto generate 😉
reminds me of the sign language interpreter at that Mandela event..
she is so lovely, quick, hilarious. watched all her Netflix specials
Went to a NHRA race years back. Was walking through the pits and making my way back to the stands. Someone said something to me and I looked back over my shoulder to answer them, while still walking, and walked right into a crotch height pole that was used to keep motorized vehicles out from the grandstand area.
Seriously, why would those poles be perfectly crotch level?
Only if you’re tall 🤣 at 5 ft 0 those things get me in the belly though Oof
@@wrinkleintime4257 yeah... It's ok.... What abt beneath the palm of the toes..... That can feel like heeeeee.......
She is straight up funny and surprisingly "every day girl" gorgeous.
@@gingerjacaranda
She’s wearing hightop sneakers...
She isn’t even funny
@@idkwhatimdoin5174
I find her very, very funny.
@@maryrosekent8223 oh, well I didn’t find her funny it was kinda boring for me, I don’t find many people funny.
@@idkwhatimdoin5174
Humor is highly subjective. Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of men don’t really like women comedians; I like some male comics, but I tend to like women comedians more. I think this is because most of us have an easier time deciphering what the person is conveying when we’re listening to someone of our own gender because it’s more likely that we ourselves have encountered something similar. Just a theory...
I appreciate she took the time out to say, not a native American reference. 🙌🏽
She is sooo adorable. Funny too but more adorable af.
Does anyone remember those tiny carousel they use to have in front grocery stores? I was in a scavenger hunt with my youth group, and I jumped on the back of one of the horses. I missed and got a hard pony tail to the crotch. There is a picture of my group, smiling, riding this carousel, with me in the background, curled up in pain.
That's freaking hilarious 😂, i hope you kept the picture for memories. It would make for some entertaining conversations over the years.
Ever fall onto a monkey bar? It is not fun.
oh noooo lol
just the tip of the cl*t has twice as many nerves than the entire p*nis. and the cl*t extends far beyond just the tip, down to the g-spot. that massive concentration of nerves all in one tiny spot means massive unbridled pain if hit at just the right angle. guys think they're the only ones who have very sensitive bits that can incapacitate them in the event of a collision. it's just, no guy has ever found the cl*t, so they can't use this knowledge against us 😅😅😅😅
@@melvina628
owwwwww
i imagine it's similar to hitting something with your bicycle, and falling onto the support bar. gonna need some ice and a cry lol
DUDE!
At 6'3", it would have to be one hell of an odd table that hits me in the crotch.
My welding table would probably do the trick😂
I'm also 6'3" so I was thinking about it too. Do y'all have tables for giants or something. I think so lol
The ol standing desk strikes again
In rationalizing the bear hunt, she forgot "you got to use your gun"
Always brilliant!
I remember seeing this when it first aired and having such a huge crush on her
then you saw the episode of JRE and realized she's Tik Tokked
Was it the lunges that got you? lol tightened those jeans right up
U mean this isn't 3 days old...get outta town...
Why,lol?
Nice Scooch?
The captions are from "Drew Michael: "shouldn't happy people be medicated?". No clue why they ended up here though lol.
If you ever hear me utter the phrase "I'm okay!" just know that I am actively dying
JOY thank you for this upload.
i remember watching this when it premiered. then seeing it again in comedy central's top 25 comics promotion. Bo Burnham, Stephen Lynch, so much talent from that era, unmatched.
I desire nothing more but to be like her
Ever so funny, Bravo xCop
I don't what is funnier the comedy of the closed captions😂🤣
this world war 2 bit was fucking amazing
Women fear table corners to the hip. Men fear trailer ball hitch to the shin.
I also fear table corners to the testicles!
She's really enjoyable.. I've watched most of her specials and have been thoroughly entertained by them all..
Pleasant to look at. Not very funny tho.
@@SchopenhauerVsCamus
Does she tell jokes? What I heard was a routine.
Lol the CC!!! I don't know if she talked much about Jason Isbell!
Thumbs up if you watched the whole thing only because she's good to look at.
Well, she's gorgeous and I would watch her no matter how bad the bit was, but she is funny.
And THAT, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what REAL equality is about.
I love her.
Kitchen counter corner to the hip; coffee table corner to the shin; bed leg to the toe. All brutal.
Man who walks through airport sideways going to Bangkok
She’s like the real life sweet dee doing stand up
What’s a sweet dee?
@@maryrosekent8223 it’s a reference to the show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia! I highly recommend it 😁
@@JampackGaming707
Thanks for the tip...I’ll check it out.
She's a BIRD!
i read the title and i immediately went "OUCH!"
I’ve never walked into a table corner. I can’t relate.
Funny! And nice to look at.
Facts. And freaking hilarious. 👏
Someone messed with the subtitles and its hilarious! Turn it on and rewatch! Lmfao!
Time stamp?
@@idkwhatimdoin5174 The whole thing.
Behind SOOOO cute 😂
When you’re a guy and catch a corner table right in the nuts, there isn’t a “quick” recovery, you’re more than likely down for the count for a bit.
Reminds me of a quote from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the movie I think)
"What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far - which, given your present circumstances, seems more likely - consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer."
At work, we call it "taking a trip to Thailand."
I'm often confused about my feeling for her comedy. Couldn't totally get into it but I always watch till the end. She's so cute though.
Seriously I’m in love 😍 with her
U don't care what nobody says...?
@@cjhepburn7406 Bro I don't care that she's white we're all the same race. As long as she's not a man I could honestly care less about what color my woman is. It's what in the heart that matters. You got good and bad people in all colors.
I didn't mean that...I was more dropping a line from Gold Digger by Kanye...nevermind, kinda the same thing...
Does anyone else have the closed captions on? It's a fricking awesome dissonance.
Whoever did these captions, come on. People who cannot hear should get the content of the video they are watching, not whatever the heck that is.
It's a different show, I don't know the exact process of subtitling, but someone probably just fucked up, out the wrong file somewhere or something, might have been their first day, could've been a long say, they may not have slept well or something, could have insomnia for all we know. You're right though, they should have fixed it by now.
They fixed it ayyy
I usually don't like female comedians but she is funny and so cute!
'Scooch, u got to spend sometime outdoors...'
Anime fans: Table-kun...
🤣🤣🤣
Turn on the subtitles for confusion
Dem JEANS!!!
Love Iliza. So funny, smart, and hot.
No.1 😅🤣😂
Anyone reading the captions?
they are so dark
Who the hell did the CC for this video lol
this is the funniest thing I've ever seen😐
good moves
What set are those subtitles from?
Drew Michael's - The Half Hour
Max Headroom. At your service
She is my hero, in real life
I almost thumbed down with that weak-ass opening, the table to the crotch ...me...blank stare...mmmmk. She definitely straightened up her game though! 😂
Where’s the rest of this special
Why the us subtitles from the vid I watched the other day😂😂
I don't think I've ever gotten a table corner to the crotch. I guess I'm just careful.
*OOOOOSSSSCCCAAARRR OOOIIIIDAAAAAAAAA, NAAAKAAATUUUUTOOKKKKKKK, BEEEEYNTEEEEEKWAAAAATROOOOO OOORRRAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!*
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I dont understand because your beauty and your level of integrity I would catch you for eternity!!!!!!!
One of the strangest female comics, not always funny, but as fascinating to watch as it gets. Rare NY/TX mix, and a crazy array of voices.
shout out to the camera man 3:05
Is it weird that this has never happened to me?
Miss little black dress and heels. You are always great anyway.
Ok, without a twinge of sarcasm, she is like ridiculously fit.
She is an unapologetic gym rat and it shows in her very physical form of comedy.
the fact that she did that in jeans
She can get it...
Get whut?
@@cjhepburn7406 😂🤦🏽♂️
"Have you ever noticed things that happen?" Why yes, I have... because they happen.
Genius!!! 😂
I'm getting, 'this stage is a stepping stone 2 my sitcom' vibe.
You all got the wrong subtitles on this video, just letting you know
Wow, this is a lot funnier than her Netflix special.
There is a 3rd way...Go full on soccer injury...roll on the floor like you are on you are dying. You may not finish the date, but you may get free dessert.
So silly!
Well, if your around 6 feet tall or taller, it hits your leg. Not as bad for tall people
Yep. I take it in the knee.
So short guys gotta deal with this and women hating them. That's tuff
@@isaahwilder2346
Not all women shun short guys-they’re much easier to kiss than tall guys, especially if you’re also short.
How long has she been doing Dane Cooks cadence??
That's immediately what I thought of when I started watching it.
So bendy. so funny.
So relatable
So, I'm a neurodivergent person, (autistic, but formally known as "having" Asberger's 🙄) and I have always wondered if Iliza is the same. (Once you know, it's like spotting your own kind in the wild. 😄) This right here, tho; walking into tables and walls with regularity..this is such a neurodiverse thing.
I took one to the side of my neck 🤣
How freaking short are you??
Are you a munchkin or something?
🎵 Umpa, loompa, doopity - doo 🎶
Are we still talking about table corners? 🤔
Total tyrannosaurus!
I'd put her in the, 'I'm so cute, I don't need 2 be funny, f u!' catagory...
What a coincidence, I would put you in the ‘Insignificant turd whose opinion don’t matter category’.
@@Koreviking As long as ur not Iliza using a different name IJDGAS. Thanx for replying.
The queen of physical comedy? What makes you laugh? People getting run over or Woody Allen being more sophisticated than you will ever be?
I must be weird because I would be going are you alright, and trying to help. Somehow I have the feeling no matter what I did it would be wrong.
Ummm... what's going on with the subtitles?
It's like two people having an argument completely unrelated to the video.
Those subtitles are very sad!!! WTFFFFFF
Subtitles don't match. 😒
Why not?
@@niterida380 I dunno
@@FirionLeFleur Too many?
@@niterida380??? Subtitles
@@FirionLeFleur Oh. Your original post said “subs don’t match”. I took that as subs=subscribers. Now I see you meant “subtitles”.
I'll be your table corner
The first half of this Routine is some of the best Stand-Up there's been in a while, then it devolves into a unoriginal sexist bore.
He's weak, I would totally continue the date after that and go for another.
Me too.
NO!!!! They fixed the subs
HMMM..LOOKING GOOD HANGING ON THAT STOOL
#AwarenessConsciousness
Wow... that was really really painful
HPL and Iliza
😐gang
Always funny when women tell men a crotch hit really hurts. Yeah...that's why the men laugh.
Woman do know what it feels like to take a hit directly to the clit. That is some mind-stopping, breath-taking pain. I could not move. I couldn't even breathe. The kids that gathered around me were asking if I was OK. I couldn't respond. I don't know how long I laid on the ground. It seemed like hours, but was probably minutes. Different people view pain differently.